Learning to Acknowledge the Cycle of Anxiety

Hey, babes. This is Dr. Nicole. I am going live. It's Friday, and today I wanted to touch base with you on how are you doing? It's been the longest March and the longest April, the longest century of March and April that I can remember. And how are you? How are you doing? I have been getting messages from loved ones, friends, clients, warriors, talking about how we're all really tired of this and how it feels like it's always going to be this way. And some people that I've been connecting with are overcome with sadness and despair. Other people are stuck in an anxious, panicky cycle, and it can just feel really stuck. And I want to talk with you about that today. Hi, Joshua. Hi, Paul. How are you guys doing? How are my lovely warriors doing? The thing that I try to remember when I'm feeling really stuck like this is that the stuckness always changes. And in the moment, it can feel like time has gone to a standstill. Have you ever noticed that when you're feeling really good and really happy, how time goes so quickly? And then when you're feeling really scared or you're going through a super difficult time, how time just stops, it just seems to just creep to a forever halt? And I've been getting a lot of feedback that that's how I've been feeling for people right now. And I want to talk with you about the waves, the ebbing and flowing of life and of our experience. And to give you an example, when I used to have really horrific panic attacks, I remember the way that they came in to my body and at the way that they came out. And so when my anxiety was super high and it was a big struggle, I remember watching, and I would notice, okay, the restlessness is starting. Okay, so the wave is moving in. And then as the wave came closer and closer to where I was on the shore, metaphorically speaking, I started to get burning. And the burning would always start in my chest, and then it would extend down my arms, and I felt like my body was on fire. And then my heart would start pounding. And I noticed as these horrible symptoms of sheer panic would come, they would change, right? So they would come, they would build, they would spike. And when I was in that spot, spike, I felt absolute, sheer panic. And I don't know if you've ever felt this way, my loves, but with panic, all you want to do is stop it. Panic is different from depression in that panic demands an immediate solution. It's so intolerably difficult that we become desperate for a solution. And so some People, they go into fight and they get angry and irritable and they're fighting and they're trying to get away from it. And some people go into flight and they're just trying to run away. And that's a big thing that I did is I would get on my bike and I would just ride as hard and fast as I could, or I would sometimes freeze. And freezing is something that I'm seeing quite a lot right now because light anywhere, we're stuck at home and fighting is definitely something that's happening, but I am seeing quite a lot more freezing. And Josh was talking about how he paces back and forth. That was totally a go to for me. And even when I notice myself pacing now, I'm like, okay, what's happening? I'm getting a little restless, a little agitated because I noticed the pacing. And so sometimes the emotion can come first, sometimes the physical symptoms can come first. But what I really want to emphasize today is I want you to imagine it as a wave. Oh, I live part of the year in Michigan, and so I try to imagine Lake Michigan, but maybe the ocean feels better for you. And so imagine. Okay, walk yourself through the steps. Okay, so it usually starts like this, just like with me. Okay, I'm starting to notice that I'm getting a little bit hot. I'm starting to notice I'm getting a little bit restless. Okay, so now there's the burning. Now the burning is spreading. And then there's the heart palpitations for me. And so as. As the wave comes in, it starts to spike. But the thing, it's not continuously at the spike, it changes. Right? And so anything that is changeable is shiftable, and anything that's shiftable can change. And so what I mean by that is that when we're in these moments and it feels like nothing will ever change and we're going to be stuck like this forever when we feel like we're never going to not be anxious or we're never going to not be depressed because of the fact that your state does shift and change, your symptoms change. Sometimes you may have restlessness, sometimes you may have tingling that's covering your face and in your tongue and the roof of your mouth. And sometimes you may feel like your cells are on fire. And other times you may need to walk fast. Other times you may need to walk slowly. Sometimes you may need to run to flight. Other times you may freeze and just want to curl up in your bed. The fact that it changes means it's changeable and it's much more honest to look at it like that. By just looking at it and just sheerly saying, I'm feeling this way right now and therefore I'm going to feel like this forever and it's never going to go away isn't as honest because it's been shifting. It's totally shifting. It will continue to shift. And even though it's really painful, really difficult right then. And I get it, I remember the feelings of desperation, the feelings of absolute doom and despair. Even though it feels like it's never going to end, babe, it does. That doesn't mean it might not come back. And there may not be other iterations of it, but it will never be forever. And so what we're working on together is how do we help it so that these episodes are less intense of a shorter duration and less frequent. And that's what I'm all about, is helping you to get your life back, to help you take those feelings of anxiety and turn the page. You've been hauling around this drama, this giant book, and the pages are turning, but the pages are turning in the form of a drama. And I want to turn this tragedy into a triumph. And I've helped thousands of people do that. And I can help you. And I've been there. And so we have to start with right now. And right now, if you're going through a really dark time, if you're feeling intense despair, if you're feeling intense anxiety and you are feeling so stuck and so hopeless, and if you're feeling like you just can't take another step or go through another day or do it again, I beg you to just be in this moment and just think of the waves. When those waves come, be like, okay, let's watch this pattern. Because the pattern will always change. Watch as the wave goes up, watch as it spikes, and then watch down. There will be periods where your anxiety will spike and drop and spike and drop. It will always change. And because it changes, it means it's changeable. And I can help you, you change it. And that's what this is all about. We have a free anxiety freedom warriors group. It's a one week challenge that I created and I've gotten a lot of questions about it and people are wondering, well, what's the catch? Is it really free? And it's free, babe. My heart, for those who know me really well, my heart has been to help people get their lives back. That's what sets my soul on. And the way that we're doing that right now is to Give you this one week challenge and to give you community and to help you step by step. And so go and find the group. We'll make sure that it's posted so that you can find it and you can get your life back. I am so happy to see you guys here. Elizabeth, you are an admiration. You are a warrior. We've been talking about how our emotions, whether it's grief or anxiety or panic or despair or uncertainty or anger, whatever those emotions are. We've been talking about how they roll in, they spike, but then they drop. The waves in Lake Michigan, the waves of the ocean, they come in and then they drop, and they come in and then they drop. And so we've been talking about how anything that can change is changeable. And so we just need the tools to work in a way to turn this tragedy into a triumph. And you can do that. No matter how old we are, no matter our trauma, no matter our backgrounds, you can get your life back. And so right now, we just have to acknowledge where you are. We just have to acknowledge, right now I'm having a panic attack. Wow, this burning in my body is really intense and really painful. Or right now I can't stop crying. Or right Now I am 100% convinced that I'm going insane. Or right now I have this doom, and this doom is telling me 110% that the world is coming to an end and it'll never be the same. And acknowledge that that's where my symptoms are. Right now, to be most honest with yourself, is acknowledge also the other side of the coin, that these things change and that these things are changeable. And so I want to walk you through an exercise that will help you do that. And so when you feel really stuck, when the grief is too strong, when you're feeling so lonely, when you're feeling so overwhelmed, I want you to do this with me. And it's really simple. And you could do it almost anywhere. And it's an acceptance exercise. Remember, there's a quote, what you resist will persist. And so, ironically, when we're noticing these waves coming in and when we're noticing the ebbing and flowing and when we're noticing the panic rising, our impulse and the medical system at large is designed to squish that, suppress that. But the body is trying to give us information. And so noticing it, acknowledging it being in that space, is actually part of the answers to helping you shift out of that space. And our goal is to reduce the intensity, the frequency and the duration by honoring what that is what that feeling is, where it's coming from, the truth of it, but also being honest and looking at the other side of the coin. And the other side of the coin is that, yes, this is where I am right now. Yes, this will change. This will not be like. It will not be like this forever. I don't know the future. My anxiety wants to switch from this feeling of chaos into control to tell me what the future is going to be. And honestly, I just don't know. And so all we know with true, honest conviction is that we are here. We are right now, that wave is in, it's really intense. And so what do we do? We hold that space. So the exercise that I want to do with you is I want you to imagine that you're sitting on a beach, whether it's a lake that you really like or the ocean, somewhere where you've been or that you can imagine, maybe it's a place that you go and you're just trying to go to your happy place. And I want you to, if you can, close your eyes with me for just a moment. And I want you to notice the pattern of the waves and notice that they come in and that they go out. And notice that the waves are never permanent. They don't just stay in. So the wave coming in is the grief. And as comes in, I want you to inhale, and I want you to pull in all of that acknowledgment and noticing of the anxiety, the panic, the burning, the grief. But then notice that the wave goes out. It's much more honest to acknowledge that the wave also goes out. And so when you notice with your mind's eyes that wave goes out, I want you to exhale. And as you exhale, I want you to exhale the grief, the anxiety, the stress, the fear, the despair. And it's not going to totally go away, but we're practicing moving it. So as you inhale, breathe in all of that grief, the anxiety, the honesty of that one side of the coin. And then as you exhale, with that wave going back out, breathe out the grief and allow yourself to be emptied of that. So you can do this while you're sitting at your desk. You can do this when you're trapped in your apartment. You can do this when you're a passenger in a car. Don't do it while you're driving, my love. But even three breaths can make a difference. And I use a device called HeartMath. And they talk about the power of the breath and changing your heart rate. Variability and your heart rate variability impacts your nervous system. And so I've seen this, I've plugged myself into this gadget and the breath is really powerful. And so if you just joined us, we've been talking about, hey, how are you doing, love? What's been coming up for you? Is it anxiety? Is it despair? Is it fight? Is it fear? Flight? Is it freeze? Whatever it is. We've been talking about how these emotions, they come up and then these emotions will ebb out. So they come and they go, they change. They change how you experience them. I told you a story at the beginning about what my panic attacks were like when I used to have them. Horse would change as they spiked and dropped. And we've been talking about how everything is changeable. And then we talked about what to do in that moment. And so if there's something that you could do to remind yourself of the waves, maybe it's making a blue bracelet or finding a blue colored rock or finding the waves sound on your phone, something that you can do to remind you of that. When you're really at your wit's end and you just feel like, I can't live another day, remind yourself of the waves and then take the waves and breathe in the reality of that swell and that grief and that pain and then exhale all of that out of you and then start practicing acknowledging and moving that. And so I want you to know we have a private Facebook group. It's totally free in there. We have a one week challenge. Haley Taylor. If you scroll through the comments, you'll find that she's been posting a link. It'll also be in the comments. Join the group. Do the one week challenge. It's all here to love on you. It's every single day you're going to get a glitter and a gold. The glitter is in reference to all of the thoughts the that can make us anxious. They can actually change the wiring of the brain so that the brain can be predisposed for anxiety. And I'm actually helping you correct that. It takes 120 days on average to change the habit in the brain. And so I'm giving you a one week challenge. But this is just a tiptoe in the iceberg. And so it's just a teeny little piece of it. And I have so much more to share with you. So number one is go to the group, click on Haley Taylor's link and then download the workbook. Give us a real email so that we can get that to you. I promise we won't spam you. It's free. We're not taking credit card numbers or anything like that. And then the group is to support you. It's totally free. And we ask you a series, I think of three questions to get into the group just so we can best support you and so join the group if you haven't. I'm going to be doing a live there, just an extra special live for my lovelies in there and I'll be back here every Wednesday and Friday. But I want you to know babes, that it's going to be, it's going to be okay. We're here together. It is right now. And right now it is what it is, but it isn't what it is going to be yet, if that makes sense. And so I'm looking forward to being with you. This will be saved. Check back often and know that I love you all. And if there's things that we could talk about next time that would be helpful, let us know and you can send us a private message or leave a message here in the comments. I do read them. I'm on here often to support you and Joshua. Thank you for being here. I don't think you've missed one and I honor you. Your waves are here and they will ebb and they will flow and you know what? I'm here every step of the way with you. Alright, I will talk to you next week. It.