The Meghan Markle Story - 3 Profound Observations from a Mental Health Expert

Hey, babes, it's Dr. Cain. Today I want to pop in and talk about the Meghan Markle story and three profound observations that I, as a mental health expert, made during the interview, when I was watching the interview with Meghan, Harry and Oprah. And I'm going to keep this short because I think that there's going to be a lot of people having a conversation about this and we'll learn more as information comes along. But in this video, there are some pretty powerful things that as a mental health expert that I was able to notice and I wanted to share that with you. And so the first thing is that there's a lot of questioning about if Megan is being truthful, if if she's being honest. And so when it comes to actually diagnosing or assessing her psychiatric state, we really don't know until we dive into more of a one on one interaction with her and really get inside of that. But just objectively looking at what she is saying and looking at the circumstances surrounding her story, there is a lot that we can garner from that. And so I'm going to share with you three of my observations. And I think they're profoundly important, not just in Meghan and Harry's story, but also important in that it will teach us about watching the world around us and getting information about what might really be going on with somebody. And I think that this information that I'm going to share with you today is going to help you get a better assessment on what's going on with yourself. Again, this is Dr. Nicole. If you love this channel, then hit the like button and subscribe. It helps us know that what we're doing is valuable for you. And so let's dive in. Today I want to talk about the Meghan Markle story. As you guys know, she and her husband Harry were recently interviewed by Oprah. And there's a lot of conversations circling where they talk about. Is what she's reporting actually real? Is it true? What's actually going on? What is happening beneath the scenes? Today, as a mental health expert, I want to focus on Megan. And there are three really important things that we can say for sure. Number one is that abuse can be personal and institutionalized. This goes to the cast of characters that we talk about in the ACT method, where we think about how we're feeling and how that may be impacted by our environment. And when we think about abuse, there's different forms, right? There's physical abuse, there's psychological abuse, and there's emotional abuse. Of the three, the Most dangerous are psychological and emotional, because that's where it gets into that scapegoating. It gets into Stockholm syndrome, it gets into gaslighting. It gets into those confusing components of, is what I feel really real? Am I in the right? Am I in the wrong? And in the institution that Megan was describing, that Harry was describing, there was institutionalized abuse. There were conversations about her ethnicity. There were conversations about the color of her unborn child. There were conversations about whether or not they were going to receive security for that unborn child. And so there were a lot of conversations going on that were, as she reported, frightening. Made her feel unsafe, made her feel unsupported. And so one thing that we know for sure is that her experience of the institution is that it felt unsafe. And so we know, number one, is that abuse can be personal and it can be institutionalized. So let's make that relevant for you before we go on to number two. And number three, as we look at your story, as we look at your experience, your anxiety, your anger, your trauma, your frustration, your depression, your panic attacks, all of the things that you're working on, we want to pay attention not only to your experience within yourself and your life and your history, but we also have to look at the greater narrative. We have to look at your social cast of characters. Who in your life is impacting you? Is it government policies? Is it systemic racism? Is it economic instability? Is it your teacher? Is it just messaging online that feels scary and unsafe or abusive? The thing with trauma is that trauma is defined as an event that supersedes a person's ability to cope. Let me say that again. Trauma is defined as something that happens that supersedes a person's ability to cope. So trauma is not defined by the event, but rather how the person experienced and interpreted and dealt with that event. So if something happens to you, nobody has the right to tell you whether or not that was traumatic. That's your decision. That's your experience. And so when we look at the Meghan Markle series, when we look at her story, we know that her experience, as she reports it, is that this has been very traumatic for her. It's been scary, it's been uncertain. And maybe if somebody else was in her shoes, it wouldn't feel that way. But we know that that for her, it feels scary, it feels unsafe, it feels demoralizing. All of the different ways that she's described her experience, it is traumatic. So we want to know what is her experience of that, right? So we know, number one, is that abuse can be systemic, or it can be institutional or personal. Right. The number two observation that we have about her is that we know based on her symptoms, that she does have a psychiatric diagnosis. But this is where the controversy comes in, is, number one, what is the value of psychiatric diagnosis? And number two, what diagnosis is accurate? And so when we have the conversation about trauma, trauma trumps everything. The way that we diagnose psychiatric illness is we look at something called the Diagnostic Statistical Manual that was created by the American Psychiatric Association. Psychiatry being the branch of medicine that focuses and emphasizes on prescribing medications, Right? So we have this body of medicine emphasizing prescribing medications who have come up with diagnostic criteria that help categorize people's symptoms and experiences into boxes so that we can justify or warrant prescription medications. The controversy in the DSM 5 came from the American Psychological association, built by counselors and mental health experts that go beyond the pill for a nail model who say that we have to look at trauma. If somebody has trauma, then we have to treat the trauma first. Instead of going straight for a mental health psychiatric diagnosis like bipolar depression, generalized anxiety, panic disorder, we have to look at at the trauma. And so based on the beginning of this video, where we focused on knowing that abuse can be individual or institutionalized, and we have discussed and established that Megan's experience of that was traumatic, we then are obligated to look at the criteria for PTSD or different forms of trauma. Arguably, originally, PTSD would stand for post Traumatic stress disorder. And it was a very narrow diagnosis. It was, did something big and huge happen and you have trauma or did it not? And so this is where we break down trauma. We have big T traumas and we have little T traumas. Big T traumas are something huge happening. In Meghan Markle's family story, Diana passing was a big T trauma. That was a huge event, completely traumatic for that family and the world at large, arguably. And so that's an example of a big T trauma. But there are also little T traumas. Little T traumas can be insidious microaggressions. It can be somebody undermining you. It could be somebody who's talking poorly about you. It could be somebody who's disregarding you. It could be somebody who flicks you on the ear when they think you're doing something wrong. It could be so many different things. And the research shows that micro traumas or little T traumas can be just as deleterious or dangerous for somebody's emotional and physical well being as big T traumas. And Megan reports in the interview with Oprah, she reports in her story having innumerable microaggressions against her, micro traumas against her. And again, whether or not we can objectively prove that her experience is that this occurred, and so that thereby is a satisfactory criterion for examining the post traumatic stress disorder. And so when we look at somebody's story, when we look at their symptoms, we can start at the top of the pyramid and say, yes, you were anxious, you were depressed. Megan wanted to go to a psychiatric inpatient clinic because she had suicidal thoughts and she didn't know what to do, and they discarded her, they dismissed her, Right? So you may be at the top of the pendulum, and they may give you a diagnosis of major depressive disorder or something like that. But the important thing as a mental health expert with trauma informed education is to look deeper. And that's what we're all about here, is looking deeper and saying, okay, well, why is that occurring? Is it because of a misfire in the brain chemistry, or could it be because of an institution or a social cast of characters? Right? And so, arguably, for Megan, based on her report, Harry's report, what we've been watching over the years in the news is there is evidence of microaggressions, micro traumas, big T traumas and little T traumas. And therefore, an appropriate working diagnosis would be post traumatic stress disorder. And so the treatment may include medications, it may include psychotherapy. But the most important, profound thing that we need to do is number three, and this is find your allies. So if you're resonating with this, you're not royalty probably watching this video, right? But we all experience some sort of micro traumas, and some of us experience big T traumas. And so you may have depression, you may have anxiety, it may be personal, it may be institutional. But the most important thing that we learned from the Meghan Markle story is number three. Number three is that you have to find your allies. She went to HR and they did nothing for her. They cast her aside. They weren't supportive. They didn't have her back. And maybe you resonate with that too. Have you ever shared your story and it was dismissed? Have you ever talked about your trauma, your experience, your depression, and told that it was no big deal, that, oh, you don't have it as bad as these people, so you must not have trauma? The most important thing that you need to do is to find your allies, whether that is a mental health professional. There are 24, seven chat rooms for trauma anxiety, suicidality, depression. There are 24. Seven text lines. There are 24 seven free resources that you can call. You can find a mentor. And so what Megan did is she went to a friend of Diana because she knew that that person would get it. She knew that that person would understand the pressure she was under and how she was sweet feeling inside. And so for you, find those people, find your allies, and create an escape strategy. We call this an obstacle to cure. If you're in a situation and you're experiencing abuse, if you're experiencing trauma, the most important thing is to remove the obstacle to cure. You cannot get better if you do not get out of the situation where you are being abused. And that's the conclusion that Meghan and Harry made, right? They were in the royal family and they decided to step away from the royal family. She was in an institution that was abusive to her and they chose to get out. And that is so brave. And I admire them for that. Regardless of what objectively is happening, their subjective experience was one thing and that was their truth. And you have to lean on that. And so you may feel a certain way and people may tell you it's all in your head, and people may tell you that it's no big deal, but we have to return that to sender because your truth is what matters. And that goes back again to the insidious nature of emotional and psychological trauma. Right? Physical trauma can be objective, but emotional and psychological trauma are insidious. They're sneaky. And other people may try to invalidate that, invalue that, minimize that. And you have to get out of that. And I know it's so hard. And so what Megan and Harry have taught us is to find your allies and to get out. And by get out, I mean remove yourself from that situation in the best way that you can. You can do it. We have an example of someone leaving an entire royal family. All of this drama, all of this press, they will never be able to unbelievable do and unexperience this. This will be in the newspapers for years to come. These newspapers will outlive them. But they were brave. And despite all of this opposition, all of this gaslighting, all of this censoring, all of these people saying that their experience wasn't real, that they were able to get out. And you can too. So if you're in a situation where you feel like you are being oppressed, if you feel like you aren't thriving, if you feel like you're in a situation where you are losing your. Your Freedom. I urge you and encourage you to pursue freedom at all costs. I pursue my freedom every single day. I was in a really stressful situation where I was being gaslighted. I felt like I was worthless. It sent me into a spiral of panic. And so I get what it's like to be there and then to think that you're insane and that you're the one who's wrong. And I promise you, my love, that your experience is. Is the most valid and valuable thing that there is. And so we've been talking today about the Meghan Markle story. We talked about three profound discoveries. They are that abuse can be both personal and institutional. We also learned that Megan's most likely diagnosis, regardless of all the drama and the doubt, is post traumatic stress disorder. And we learned that trauma is something that we experience. Trauma isn't an objective thing. Trauma is the way that we suffer as a result of something else. And we learned that you are worthy of pursuing freedom. So if you resonate, if you relate, if any of this is sticking out to you, then let's do an audit together of your social characters, the people around you, the institutions around you, and let's help you find your allies so that you can create your strategy for freedom. This has been. Dr. Nicole, if this is valuable for you, I would love a little, like a little heart and a little share. Follow us. We're always here to offer valuable content. You can learn more about me at my handle, Dr.nicolecane.com I honor you, I love you, and thank you so much for being here. You are so, so very brave. Let us know how we can support you. All right, guys, see you.