Dr. Nicole Cain uses the El Camino hike as a metaphor for transformation, arguing that most resources ignore the hard part: reintegrating after change. She suggests acknowledging uncomfortable emotions, asking your parts what they need, and leaning on community to navigate the broken-stained-glass feeling of not fitting back in.
Chapters
Hey, loves, I wanted to check in and see how you're doing. I know that it's really stressful right now. Not only are we dealing with a crazy pandemic, but the election's happening and there's a lot of heaviness in the air. And so I wanted to check in and see how you're doing. And I wanted to tell you a story about a hike called the Camino. And the Camino is this amazing hike called El Camino, and you start in Portugal and you hike your way up Portugal and then across Spain. And people have talked about how this hike is transformative. People will go on this hike, and it is just so, so amazingly provocative that they don't leave the same. And so there's a ton of literature out there on how to prepare for the Camino. There's what do you pack? How do you exercise? How many butt crunches should you do so that you can climb? Right. There's tons of literature on how to prepare for this transformative experience. Right? And then there are other books for what do you do while you're on the Camino? What do you do while you're on the hike? How do you set up your tent? How do you build a fire? How do you cook food? What food should you actually cook that's going to give you nourishment to hike the 500 plus miles? And then you go and you have this experience and people transform and people change and they evolve and everything that they knew and they believed and they felt and they saw, saw that they felt was real. It's like a hammer to stain glass. It's like gravity to a fragile piece of pottery. It's destructive to what was in the process of birthing, what will be right? So you go on this hike, you go on this Camino, people take months and they're just out and they're in the wilderness and they're with themselves and they're with their thoughts, and there's so much uncertainty. You don't know what's around the next bend. You don't know what's going to happen in your future. Something as small as am I going to roll my ankle? Something as big and existential as am I going to make it? Am I going to make it in my marriage? Am I going to make it in this election? Am I going to make it in my health? What is that like? And then the transformation occurs and we go home and we go home and we're different. And then suddenly the puzzle piece that came out having been Changed doesn't fit anymore, right? So the question is, is when we're in that process of transformation and we're trying to fit into where we were before the transformation, what do we do? And that's where the literature is really lacking, right? There's not a lot of information on what to do after we've transformed. And that's where I think a lot of us are right now, where there's this huge upheaval, there's a huge change in our politics, there's changes in our health, there's changes in the economy, there's changes in the family structure, there's changes in so many different areas of life, our jobs, our families, all of the things, right? And so the question is, what do we do with that? How do we deal with the uncertainty? How do we deal with not fitting the same way that we did? Nothing is the same. Once you've broken a big piece of stained glass, you can never put the pieces of glass together to look exactly the way that it did before the break. There will be a crack or the pieces won't fit. Something will be different, right? And so what do we do with that? And in the metaphor, it's all about allowing the transformation to settle in and allowing yourself, moment by moment and step by step, to authenticate. Frantically acknowledge what was. Acknowledge the data from the parts that are now being unpacked and speaking, and then follow the wisdom from your inner wise mind. And so right now, if you're feeling distressed, if you're feeling uncertain, if you feel like things just aren't fitting, if you feel foreboding, if you feel worried, if you feel irritable, if you feel sad, if you're feeling anything uncomfortable, acknowledge that. Hold that space. Notice the parts that are sharing this with you and say to the parts, thank you, I hear you, and what do you need from me? And then they'll answer. And that answer may be something as simple as, I need to sleep, I need to sleep an extra hour, or I need an ice cream cone, or I need you to listen to me. And what I want you to do if you're in this Camino and if you're struggling, is to just ask your parts. Ask your pains, ask yourself, ask your emotions what they need from you, and then strategize a way to honor that. Because every single decision that you make is a step. Just like when you go on that hike and you go on that Camino and you transform and you change and you evolve. Not necessarily better or worse, but different, right? That it's One step at a time. And in this uncertainty, we all want to know with certainty what's going to happen. And we just simply can't. We don't know. And so what we can control is how we exist in that space. And what we can control is what we do with what we have, where we are right now. So I want you to talk to your parts, ask them what they need, and then honor that need. And then I'll be here. I'm with you. You're not alone. And I'm walking with you. And let people in your community know what we can do for you. As you honor your parts, know that you don't have to do all of this work alone, that there's a community of people that are here. So I'm here for you. I also have a private Facebook group called the Anxiety Breakthrough Freedom Challenge. And so if you want a safe, private place to go, I'll be there. And you can send a message in the group. You can send a DM and let us know how we can support you. We're all in this together, and it's all about knowing that transformation is happening. There's a lot of uncertainty. You're hiking the Camino, babe, so just keep hiking. Acknowledge, listen, and take one step at a time. This has been Dr. Nicole. I'm here. I love you, I honor you, and I'll be back. Anytime you need me, just let me know. Thanks, babes. Bye.
