You Don’t Need Time Management, You Need Energy Management! | Ep. 104 (Audio Only)

Inner Balance podcast with Dr. Nicole Cain and Happy Healthy Hadley.

Your go to resource for natural mental health and wellness strategies so that you can become the expert of your own emotional and physical well being.

Merging modern science with ancient wisdom.

Hi everybody. Welcome to Holistic Inner balance. This is Dr. Nicole and.

And Happy Healthy Hadley.

We're so excited to have you here today and we're going to be talking about energy management. And so, Hadley, I have a question for you.

What?

Question number one is how much bandwidth or energy or capacity do you feel like you have right now for doing fun and creative things? On a scale of 1 to 10, one being like, I literally am like, brain dead and I just want to watch gilmore girls. And 10 is like, I have all of the energy, can't stop, won't stop.

Right now in this moment or right now in my life?

Ooh, ooh. I want to know both just for.

Fun, whenever I'm with you. It's a 10 year.

Okay, 10 out of 10 when you're with your soul sister.

Yes.

And then what about in life in general right now?

I mean, honestly, right now I'm at probably like an 8. I. Well, at the time of this recording, I've been, like, doing a bunch of stuff for my launch for my. My Happy Healthy Habits program and stuff, so. So not quite a 10 because there's just so much to do, but it's also, like, really lighting me up. So, like, it's definitely high up there and I. I feel creative with it. It's fun to create, like, new reels and different, like, graphics and all of that kind of thing. And. And you know, I'm also doing an acting class, so that feels really creative and fun too. So definitely an eight.

Ooh, I like that. Okay, so we're going to average that 8 out of 10, but if we could just like, hook an IV that connects the both of us with, like, reciprocal happy juju, then you'd be chatting it out. I feel like my number would be way better if I could just hang out with you. I need to move to San Diego.

I am really trying to make that happen.

Do it, Del Mar, here we come. So I would answer that question. In life, my present bandwidth is not as good as yours. Like, I feel like my energy management could be better. And so I'm excited about this conversation.

So.

So I would give myself like a 6 out of 10 and I kind of have an interesting theory and let's see if it's wrong or right. And so I want you to grab your phone. Hads and first. First of all, I want you to look at your phone. And as y' all are listening to this too, reflect on this. Like, how much. How much bandwidth do you have? How much energy and excitement and capacity and enthusiasm do you have? Like, Ad, ask yourself that on a scale of 1 to 10, and then look at your phone. And the first question is, is, Hadley, how many unread text messages do you have right now?

One.

Okay. Okay. I have 62 unread text messages. And then how many unread emails do you have?

Let's see. I have nine.

Can you see mine?

Oh, go. You have turned on. You have. I do not have notifications on for my email. That's why I have more energy.

So I have more energy. So I have 5181 unread emails on my phone. So this theory off. I need to turn those off. And this is why I need this conversation with you and I. And. And so what my theory is is that if you have. And it could be reciprocal, so I'm eager to learn which direction it could be going. But if you have more bandwidth and energy and capacity and excitement, you're going to be more on top of those texts and emails as opposed to if you don't. And that correlates with your level of energy and having fewer messages unread. My lack of energy, and I'm curious, too, about how my lack of checking email and filing away email and responding to texts in a timely manner could be draining me of my enthusiasm and energy.

Totally. I think. I think it definitely goes both ways. Like, actually, so I just did a. I just did a challenge. Like, a nervous system reset challenge. One of the things that I literally had everyone do on the second day was turn off all notifications except for text messages. And, like, well, that was pretty much it. Like, turn off all social media notifications, all email notifications, any notifications from, like, random apps where they're, like, updating you on stuff. Get it all turned off. And that also creates more bandwidth and capacity because. Because, okay, so, I mean, we can just get right into this.

We're just diving in. I'm, like, ready for this. Bring it on.

Because our nervous systems are obviously, like, ancient, right? I mean, they've evolved, but they have not evolved as quickly as technology has when we constantly have things that are demanding our attention even though they're not. I mean, like, if someone emails you, they're not. Like, I mean, maybe they're expecting to hear from you, but, like, I don't expect someone to respond right away. But if I, if you get a notification every time you get an email, it feels like they want you to respond right away. It feels like something that you need to go do. And even if you don't go do it, it's still there in the back of your mind, swimming around in your subconscious. What am I going to say? What am I going to respond? All of that that's taking up energy, bandwidth and capacity in your mind. So, so people to ask me all the time about time management. I help a lot of people with, you know, being more successful in their life, with their health, but also with, you know, their just career and, and feeling purposeful, all of that kind of thing. And so people are like, I need better time management. And I'm like, I actually don't think you do. I think that you have all the systems. You have, like, you know, there's, there's so many like time management tools and stuff. I don't think you need time. I think you need energy management. And so that's why we're talking about this today. Because you could do all of the time management things, but you're not a robot. Your energy increases and decreases based on the things that you're doing, based on, you know, the people you're hanging around with, based on like all sorts of things. And so when we can manage our energy versus managing our time, that's when we feel like superheroes. We can do so much more. We can have so much more of that bandwidth and capacity. Can you tell that I get really excited about this topic?

You have a lot of energy about this topic.

This, this topic gives me more energy.

So can you talk about the difference between energy management and bandwidth? Is there a difference? Like let's, let's go down to some like 101 here.

I think that energy management creates more bandwidth for us. So it's like, so, okay, so a lot of times I will. You know what I used to do back in the day was like, think, okay, I just need better time management. And I would be like, I'm gonna do. I'm gonna write out my whole schedule. I'm gonna do this from this time to this time. I'm gonna do this from this time to this time. And I'm gonna just like, I would like. It was kind of insane how much like to a T, I would write out like, especially like a morning routine or like, you know, if I had a weekend to myself that was like totally open, I would like write out a whole list. And I never was able to actually follow that list with the time stamps like, that I had for myself. Like, that was never a thing. And the reason is because not all tasks that take the same amount of time take the same amount of energy. And so if we are using up our energy on tasks that drain us rather than tasks that give us more energy because there. I mean, or are neutral. Because there are tasks that are neutral. There are tasks that take up our energy and we make. And we feel more drained afterwards. And then there are tasks that make us feel lit up and excited and like, we want to do more of that. So time management isn't Is. Is just, like, not even part of the equation. It's like, if you've ever. If you've ever done something that you just really love to do, you've been in, like, kind of like that flow state that we talk about, you know, that you have more capacity in that state. You could go forever. You could go for hours and hours and hours and never get tired. Whereas if you're, you know, doing something that's maybe just like 30 minutes but that you hate doing, you're gonna wanna watch, you know, watch Gilmore Girls and veg out on the couch. And not that there's anything wrong with that, but it's going to. But if you. But if you don't want to be doing that as much of the time, it's not a question of how can I have more willpower to not end up, like, sitting on my couch and eating a pint of ice cream like, every single night? It's not a question of time management. It's just not.

I like that a lot. And I like that you're kind of parsing out the nuance between things that give us more energy that may take the same amount of time as other things that drain us of energy. So I would like to learn a little bit more about that because I'm. As. As you're talking, I'm kind of doing an inventory of, like, what I do during my day. And this might be an opportunity for us to, like, as we're listening to this content, is to, like, start auditing our days and auditing our lives. So tell me more.

Yes. Okay, so. So something that is. There's a really good book called Design youn Life. I believe it's by, like, Bill Burnett and someone else. Some other. They partnered to author the book, but they teach at Stanford. They. They teach, like, design thinking. They. It was originally. They were, like, designers for products and software and different things like that, but they Started teaching, like, how to design your actual life. And one thing that they have you do in this book, this exercise is to identify, okay, as I go throughout my day. Like, basically, like, write down everything that you're doing throughout your day and write down how much energy it gives you or takes away from you. So essentially, like, they actually have a little, like, gauge, like a car, you know, a gas gauge on your car, where it's like, okay, after I did this task, I felt like I had, like, full tank of energy, you know, half tank of energy, three, three quarters or a quarter or empty, whatever, after I did this task. And that's a really great way to get a sense of, like, what's actually giving you more energy versus taking away energy. And I've really. I've really honed in on this more and more as I've continued with my. My, you know, my business and all of that kind of thing, to be able to really lean into the things that. That do give me more energy. And, you know, there are so many shoulds. There are so many things that are like, well, you should be doing this. You should be doing this. You should be doing this as an entrepreneur, but also just for everyone in life. It's like, well, you should be eating these things and you shouldn't be doing this thing and you should be doing this and blah, blah, blah, blah. Right? But my favorite thing is to obviously teach people about, you know, nutrition and health and. And all of that kind of thing, but also tell them at the same time that they have autonomy. They have full, full autonomy over their own selves. And they're grown as adults. They can choose for themselves whether or not they want to do that thing. And I want them. I want them to choose for themselves. I don't want them to do something because I tell them to do something. You know, I give them, you know, some pros and cons and like, you know, here's. Here's how it can be helpful. Whatever you can try it on. But I don't think that everyone is going to be. Be like, get more energy from the same tasks. Like, what's a good example of this? Well, okay, I mean, very, like, obvious, easy example. I get more energy from speaking from, like, public speaking. Most people don't. Most people are drained after they do like, a public speaking event. Right? I get more energy from that, and I want to do more stuff from that. For whatever reason, like, acting past whatever. That's. That's what I do versus, like, I'm trying to think of something that I don't get energy from.

I'm really curious about this too, because you seem like that 8 out of 10 to 10 out of 10, I'm like, what drains her?

No, there are totally things that drain me. Like, let's see. Well, one. One thing that's coming up for me is there's this thing in entrepreneurship where you're, like, supposed to reach out to people all the time, to, like, have conversations all the time with people. That. That drains me so much. I will. I mean, I. I like having good conversations with people, but initiating that and, like, reaching out first, that drains me for whatever reason. I mean, also, it's like part of my human design, which we might do a podcast on at some point in the future, because that can give you a little bit more insight into how your energy works and stuff. But. But you don't need that tool. You can just know, oh, this thing actually makes me feel drained. And so reaching out to, like, a bunch of people all the time is something that I used to do. And I realized I wasn't going to be able to continue doing my work if I continued doing that, because I felt just dead by the end of the day. And I was just dreading, like, you know, doing it the next day kind of thing, even though there were some really good conversations that came out of it. That's the thing is it's not necessarily that the things that you're doing that drain you are bad or that they're, like, so unpleasant, but they can still drain you of energy. So that. So that's like, a good way of recognizing that.

I think I'm wondering about timing and context too, because as you're sharing that there may be things that drain me because of when it's happening. So, for example, I have. I have a small caseload of patients that I still work with, and I love every single one of them. And it may be like, impromptu, a Wednesday at 3 o' clock, and they send me a message. I'm like, hey, actually, I'm available. Let's jump on and do a quick call. And I'm like, ready for it and excited about it. But then if it's like Tuesday night and I have a Wednesday at 3 o' clock scheduled, my experience of that Wednesday at 3 o' clock visit will be different because of the context of, like, I'm feeling it, I'm vibing it, I go and I lean into it in the moment versus, like, past. Nicole scheduled that. And I'm doing it because it's like something Pre designated. And I feel like for me that makes a really big difference in my energy. And maybe that's like a type of person that I am is like, I do better, like flowing instead of scheduling.

Totally. Yes, you are. I already know you're human design and I know that that's true for you.

Yeah, yeah.

And I'm not a human design expert. And if those of you, I mean, you might just be like, what the heck is human design? Like, it's. We don't need to get into that today. But, but yeah, that's definitely. If you feel that way, then that might be just true for the other thing is like, like a lot of times my clients will say it's crazy. Like, I think the thing that I got the most out of this program when they do my Happy Healthy habits program is like, I trust myself to make decisions now. I trust myself that I'm not messing everything up, that I'm not like doing it wrong. I just like, I trust myself that I, that I'm going to be able to do what I say I'm going to do, that I'm going to be in integrity with, with what tell myself I'm going to do tomorrow or whatever. Instead of, instead of being like, what should I do? What should I do? I don't know, like, I gotta ask all the, all these other people. I gotta like, you know, write the pros and cons list. So it's, it's not a pros and cons list. It's what gives you energy. It's just what makes you feel more alive and what doesn't. And say yes to more of what feels alive. Obviously there are things that you might have to do that are going to, that are going to drain energy. But this is another good conversation because we can buffer those things. So if there's a thing that you're like, this doesn't. I don't like doing this. Or maybe, maybe you do like doing it once you do it, but it doesn't give you more energy. It drains your energy. So buffer it on either side with something that does give you energy. How can you do something beforehand and afterwards, maybe even. How can you cr. How can you make it a little bit more energy? Giving in the moment too. We've talked about that before where it's like, there's this thing that I really don't want to do. And so I'm gonna light a candle, make my favorite tea and like get cozy and do this, you know, write this paper or I mean, that's What I would do in college because there's so many things that I didn't want to do. But, you know, do this thing that. This task that, like, kind of feels daunting or draining or whatever, but you can also do that even if it's not in the moment. You can do it beforehand and afterwards. So then it kind of, like, gives you a little bit more energy beforehand, and then it kind of like replenishes your energy after. After the fact.

So there's two things that I feel like would be really good actionables from what you're describing is, number one is how to find out what energizes you. Slash, what, in the circumstances, will energize you. And then second is how to buffer energy depletion.

Yeah. Yeah.

Okay. So let's start with the first one. So how to find out what energizes you. So I'm thinking about beginning my entrepreneurship journey, and so in my entre. So you're going to coach me right now. This is going to be so great. Free coaching with hats. So I would start my day, and I would wake up, and while in bed, I would check my 5,000 emails and get a jolt of anxiety. And then I would drink coffee and amplify the anxiety and then rush to work. And then I would see 10 patients while at work. And then now it's like, it's been like 8 o', clock, and then now it's like 5 o'. Clock. And then I have emails to write and labs to order, chart notes to write, and then entrepreneurship activities, like, I gotta post on social media, and now it's like 8 o' clock, and I have to go home and ruin frozen fish for my husband. This is another podcast, y', all, to listen to. I can't even cook frozen fish sticks, y'.

All.

And looking at that entrepreneurship journey, like, nothing on that is energizing. It's all exhausting. Maybe the only part of that that's energizing is like, listening to my favorite radio station to and from work. But, like, really, life was just exhausting and draining, and then I ended up with adrenal insufficiency and, like, subclinical hypothyroidism, right? So if there's somebody who's listening to this podcast right now, and they feel like they're in that rat race, and they're just like, I don't have emotional space. I don't have the money to. To hire out tasks that I know need done that drain me. Am I giving you an Impossible scenario Hadley, or like, what does somebody like me do? Like past Nicole, partially present Nicole. Let's be real. What do we do?

Okay, so I would say that no, this is not an impossible task. Like, it's actually not. This is, this is a thing that can totally be. Well, what I would start with is habits is I coach my clients in and, and you know, that takes maybe guidance and coaching and so if you, I mean, if you want to chat, reach out to me and you know, we can do that. But you started your day waking up reading the emails, getting into that state of hypervigilance already first thing in the morning and just like, oh my God, there's all me, all these things that I have to do. And so really creating, so creating a routine, creating a, a number of habits that are going to boost your, I mean, boost your energy essentially. They're gonna be the thing that, that creates more resilience and also taking out some of the things that drain your energy. The. Some of these easy things we can do are like turn off the notifications, keep your phone outside of your bedroom, buy an alarm clock so that you don't have to have your phone in there in the room. Those are some of my favorite things and like I've been doing them for years, so sometimes I forget them. So I'm glad that you brought that up because I'm like, so, yeah, I just, I forget that other people's experience of life is totally different from mine because they wake up and look at their phone first thing in the morning. And that's literally like, makes such a big difference in our life. Have your phone go on. Do not disturb for many hours of the day if you can. I have my phone on. It turns on automatically. Do not disturb from 8pm until 9am the next day. So it is on for more than half of the 24 hours in a day. I mean, most of that is sleeping. But I, you know, I don't get pinged before bed so I can get the quality sleep that I need. And then I wake up and I don't get pinged until my work day actually starts. So those are some like super tangible, easy things that you can just like do right now. But then also like the habits that I coach my clients in are basically helping you to re resync with your circadian rhythm. And your circadian rhythm isn't just about sleep. So if you've heard of that, you might know that sleep that it has to do with your sleep wake cycles and, and how they're in line with like the sun essentially. But it's not just that like there are other habits that, that we need to be put into place that are like, that are in sync with the circadian rhythms like movement, eating schedule even. And what's the other one? Like a morning, a morning routine as well. Those things are all really, really crucial for making you have more energy rather than being depleted of energy first, you know, for your whole day and even in your at night and all that kind of thing. Because we want to be fully, fully rested, fully wakeful after that. So I would say that's definitely the way to start, is with habits and, and routines because then you're going to just have more capacity to be like you're going to start your day with like a bucket that's full rather than a bucket that's deplet needed. And then like, you know, it's just taking even more away from you.

Right.

So that's the first thing. How does that sound?

So a couple big ones that I feel like I need to hear and I need to practice are just like taking control of your technology.

Yeah.

And you know, which is an interesting phenomenon that I didn't have a smartphone until I was in medical school. School.

Right.

Any social media until I was in graduate school. And so, and you said this, I don't remember which when, when it was that you said this. But that technology is evolving so much more quickly than our nervous systems are. And so that can be very, it can affect our energy levels either by making us like hyper anxious and an autonomic arousal at times and then really exhausted and depleted at other times. So like you like, you were giving us like specific tangible examples on how to take control over our technology. Totally.

Yeah, yeah, that's, that's like so, so, so massive. And it's just things that we can do one time and then it's just kind of like fixed. Like it's not, I mean and I, I teach habit automation and so like actually automating, like this is what I do in the morning when I wake up and it's different for every person. And so I help people like tailor it to their needs and stuff. But, but this is kind of what my day looks like on a day to day basis kind of morning, night, buffering, that kind of thing. But automating something, the more we can automate things and the more we can just like set it and forget it, that's going to be so much like that's going to be the most effective way to do stuff. So it's like I no longer have my phone in my room, like, ever. And I have my phone. My phone on do not disturb, and it just turns on automatically directly for me so I don't have to think about that. There's no decision fatigue here. There's no like, but there's, like, someone who, like, is. Who reached out and I should probably respond, but I don't feel like responding because I'm so tired and I'm exhausted. And, like, what am I even gonna say to that person? And, like. Because that's how it goes, right? Yes, yes, yes.

My unread. 56. Yeah, I'm looking. Yeah. Oh, now it's 50. Now it's 62 messages.

Even if it's like a, like, sweet text from someone, but you don't know how you want to respond yet, it still takes up energy.

And you can't market unread. What is that?

Wait, you can now, Which I'm really glad. Yes.

Oh, I need to figure that out. My iPhone. I haven't figured out that I could do that because that helps a lot because otherwise I just won't click on it. Totally have the energy to give a sincere response. But I like what you're saying about automation. Can you define what automation is?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. So I always say automation. Like, people know what that is. But making things like, like, think about, like, autopilot. So autopilot for a plane or for a car now you don't have to do it like yourself. You don't have to decide to do something. It just happens. Or you just do it on autopilot. You just do it without thinking about it. So, for example, I don't decide in the morning to work out. I sometimes I like. I decide. I decide what to do. Like, you know, is this more of a stretchy kind of day based on what, how my body's feeling, or is it more of a, like, hard workout, like, with weights and stuff? So I decide that, but I don't decide to work out in the morning anymore. I used to, and it was so exhausting to decide. Decision fatigue is. Is a big part of this. So I mentioned decision fatigue before, but if anyone doesn't know what that is, the example that I really like to give is, so when we are making decisions all day long, we have decision fatigue. And then if you've ever, like, had a morning where you're like, you wake up, maybe you do a workout, maybe you, like, even make a green smoothie, and maybe you, like, do all of these like really, these things that are, you know, make you, make you feel really good, but you're, you don't have any of these things automated beforehand. You like, this is something that you're trying new, right? By the end of the day you have, you like, just, just think about if you've ever had this experience where you end up, you're like so, so proud of yourself throughout the day, but then you end up on the couch with a bag of potato chips or a pint of ice cream watching, you know, the Bachelor or watching, whatever reality TV or, or whatever show, it doesn't matter until like one in the morning and you're like, what the heck? I did all of these amazing things for myself morning and like throughout the day. And then I just sabotaged it. Like all this self sabotage. And yes, there's maybe a little bit of self sabotage in there and we can do a whole other podcast about self sabotage. But also it just might be that you have decision fatigue because you haven't automated those habits before. And so you're making all these decisions that you don't normally make and then you just exhaust your decision making capacity. So you do something that you like, just can't even not do because you don't have the decisions. They know this at like grocery stores. So all of the like really expensive little tchotchkes and stuff are at the aisle when you're checking out because you have made so many decisions going through the store and you now have no more decision making capacity to make good decisions for yourself. And so you end up buying the little like, cheap thing that is, costs like so much more than you would if you bought it like back in the store in one of the aisles because you have decision fatigue. So it's, it's a, it's a very real phenomenon.

So it's this like, technique or system that takes place of your logical or mental intervention. You're not having to like, all right, first I'm gonna get up and then I'm gonna make a green smoothie and then I'm gonna exercise. But what exercise should I do? How long should I do it? What should I wear for that? Like, yeah, instead of making all of those little decisions and is that you have a system in place that it's decided for you. So like, you wake up, you know, in the morning, I'm going to exercise. And you give yourself the freedom to like, pick what style or type, but you've already automated like what your day is going to look like in a sense, totally.

And it takes, you know, the automation process. Like, I have a whole formula and like, step by step in my program of like, how to actually automate these things in your life. But the other thing I find is people are like, well, I don't want to have a rigid schedule because that's like, you know, then it's. Then I'm not going to have freedom. But I always say that, like, structure creates freedom. Too much structure doesn't create freedom, but enough structure, then you don't have the decision fatigue. And so you're able to think about and have so much more capacity and bandwidth to do all of the things that you actually want to do because you're not thinking about, should I do this, should I do this, should I do this? Because it's again, it's automated. It's just like, I wake up in the morning, I brush my teeth. You already have some things in your life automated. You don't decide to brush your teeth, I hope every single morning you don't decide to, you know, have your cup of coffee in the morning. You don't decide if you drink coffee. You don't decide. Like, all of these things are automated. So how do we just create habits that we actually want to have and automate those? And how do we automate. How do we automate it so that you don't have some of those habits that maybe you don't want to have anymore? And so we can actually create like a barrier to that. And so, like, if you don't want to be scrolling on your phone in the morning, the how we automate not scrolling on your phone in the morning is we keep your. We have like a little space outside of your, your room that is, you know, that has your phone, and you charge your phone overnight in that little space or whatever. And so that makes it so that it's automated. So goes both ways.

And I think one thing that you mentioned, I want to emphasize too, is the importance of priority prioritizing what you want to do. Because you were given that example of like, I did all of the things, and in that example you were like, describing how we may decide it in the moment. And that can be actually quite draining. But I think that making some of these small changes that you're talking about can make a really big impact. And with prioritization, I think about Greg McNown, the author of Essentialism, and that's.

A really good book.

Yeah, I think it was really profoundly helpful for me because I like to do all the things. And he talks about picking the things that are really important to you and prioritizing it. And I remember he said, if you don't prioritize your life, someone else will.

Yes, totally. It's. That goes back to the notifications. It's like, well, if you're not prioritizing, if you're not turning off those notifications and prioritizing your. When you want to go look at that, someone else is going to constantly be asking you to do stuff, and that's going to be controlling you rather than you controlling your life. So turn off the notifications. Hopefully you've already done that on this episode. But if you haven't yet, do it right now while you're listening. And. And then. Okay. And then I also want to address the other piece of this, which is not necessarily just the habits, like your morning routine and your, like, evening routine. There are other habits throughout the day, too, that can be automated. But I want to address, like, doing all of the things that are draining. So, like, throughout your day, ask yourself, how can these be either delegated or deleted? So are there things that you actually don't need to do? And I want you to, like, be really cutthroat here because there are some things that you don't need to do that you've been telling yourself that you do need to do and you don't. I know, for everyone. And it's not just like, well, I spend too much time on social media. Like, that might be true, but also there are things that other people are asking of you that you can say no to. And, like, it might disappoint them. But if you're disappointing yourself in order to not disappoint other people, then you're not living your life, like, on purpose and in integrity with your, you know, what you're here to do. You can't be in your zone of genius if you're just, like, doing, like, saying yes to every single thing that comes your way, even though they drain it drains you.

Right.

You can't. You can't be, like, creating the kind of impact in the world that you could be creating if you were saying no to some of those things. And I, like, I'm saying this very passionately, and usually I say this a little bit softer, but I think we all need to hear it.

Greg McNown, again of essentialism, has another quote that I have pulled up here in front of me is, you cannot overestimate the unimportance of practically everything.

I love that Todd and I always say that nothing is as important as you think it is, especially in the moment of you thinking that it's important.

And a big challenge of high achievers or perfectionists is that they want to do it all. It all feels really important. And so you said like delegating and deleting and figuring out like, of that list that I gave you is like, I could be forwarding certain emails to my front office admin, you know, and that email list thing, and I could be deleting my AM scrolling first thing in the morning. Yeah. And so there, there are definite great opportunities for that. And then even if those things aren't inherently energizing, they could be depleting for sure.

Right.

And so then you have a net benefit of removing depleters.

Yes. Yeah. So it comes down to removing depleters and then bringing in things that are energizers. So let me ask you and everyone listening, you can ask this to yourself. What thing, what parts of your business do you actually feel energized by? Where after you do them, you're like, oh my God, yes, this, I can't believe. This is my life. I get to do this for my job.

I feel that way writing. I love writing and researching and studying. And sometimes I'm like, oh my gosh, I can't wait to share this research article with people. This is wild. And then I get to share it, and then I get to see people share that excitement and feel like I'm making a difference. And that is the best. And so having that space to learn and share share feels like a magical existence.

That's amazing. Yeah. And that's another example for me of things that deplete me. Like I write. I, I am not a bad writer. I'm a good writer like you are. I'm, I'm a pretty good writer, but it drains me. Afterwards. I'm like, I feel so blah because I've been sitting at my desk and I'm like, like, it makes me so much more excited to create, like, create videos and to like be talking and you know, talking to other people, having really sparkly conversations like these. That's what lights me up. And so, so it's going to be different for everyone. And so for you, creating that space so that you can do that by, number one, you know, working with people in your office to, to make that a possibility for you. And then number two, you know, taking the tech away so that you actually do it rather than like get distracted by all the things, whatever. So, so it's, it comes down to deleting or Delegating the tasks that are draining and bringing in more tasks that are energizing. Because the thing is, a lot of times people are like, oh, I just need to say no more. I just need to not do as much stuff. Not true. Actually. Have you ever had a day where you just sat around the house all day? You probably didn't have more energy. By the end of that day, you probably felt kind of blah. By the end of that day, if you didn't do anything that actually, like, gave you more energy that actually lit you up, if you just sat around and watched TV all day, you probably felt like, kind of ick. Right? So we actually. It's not just saying no to stuff because. And that's like, what's really trendy on social media right now. It's is like, say no. Like, you know, like, say no more. Stop over giving all of this stuff, but actually giving of ourselves in a way that lights us up, gives us more energy to be able to do more stuff, and makes us feel more fulfilled. So it's. There's a nuance here. Obviously our favorite thing to talk about is, like, a nuance. But yeah, I think that that cannot be understated or that cannot be overstated enough is we have to do. Do more of the things that do light us up. Up. And yes, we have to say no to more things, but also we're saying we want to say no to more things in service to the things that do light us up, essentially.

Like enriching. Enriching things. Yeah.

Yes, exactly.

Warren Buffett played the ukulele.

Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Just like, doing it for the sake of doing it. When I signed up for this acting class that I'm doing, it was so interesting, my thought process, I was like, well, this is going to be really good for me to be able to have, like, better speaking skills. And, like, maybe it'll be able to, like, help me be more creative. And. And then I was like, why am I trying to, like, justify me doing this acting class? I just want to do the acting class because I like it, because I. It's fun for me because it energizes me. So do more of that. Oh, the other thing is, like, don't do things that people say are energizing, but you don't find them energizing. I used to do this. I used to do this where it's like, I. I had to. Oh, okay, really great example. I moved to San Diego. Well, I moved to San Diego for, like, eight months a couple of years ago. And now I'm back here. But I started surfing. I used to be a swimmer. I love swimming. I love being in the ocean. I love, you know, seeing dolphins. I don't like surfing.

See, I didn't know you surfed. So as you said that, I was, like, oh, tipping my head, like, curiously.

Yeah, I surfed for those eight months. Well, actually, I stopped after December because it got really cold and my hands would get, like, numb. Have, like, the Raynaud's. So I. I. Yeah, so. But that was why I stopped surfing, even though I should have stopped surfing before, because I just didn't, like, was not enriching. No. But I was like, oh. Like, it's, you know, supposed to be so good for you. And, like, you know, it's kind of cool. Like, I want to be the kind of girl who serves. I want to be, like, that cool girl that serves, but I'm not, and. And instead, I'm that girl who wears pink jumpsuits and, like, goes to karaoke and does acting.

And I love that. So you. You experimented and figured out what energizes you. Totally enriches you. Gives you life and gives you energy. And I totally see you light up when you do your public speaking and when you're around lots of people like, that, like, makes your eyes light up and you glow and you're so happy and you're so on fire. So I love that for you. I'm glad that you found you didn't feel like surfing is. It can be kind of a solitary activity.

Totally.

Versus, like, improv or acting. You're, like, with other people. Unless, I guess, you're doing a monologue. But you probably would love that, too, because you have the audience that you can feed off of. True.

And there are some solitary things that light me up, too, like singing in my car. Love it. You know, like, just absolutely. That energizes me so much. But, you know. Oh, another great example. I don't get energized by a sunset. There, I said it. I just don't.

I.

Everyone gets energized by a sunset, but I don't.

I don't either. Heads. When the sun is setting, I, like, actually get a little sad. I'm like, oh, it's gonna be dark. The day is done. So the sunrise. I like the sunrise.

The sunrise energizes me. Yes. That's what I was gonna say.

Hey. Oh, my gosh.

We're so similar.

We are. I love it. What about y', all when you're listening? Which energizes you. Sunrise or sunset?

Yes, I. And the thing is, yeah, it's gonna be so different for every person. So get curious about what actually energizes you and, you know, stop lying to yourself about what energizes you, too. Like, even if it's, like, something that's supposed to be the most fun thing in the world, like, you know, maybe, like, games or, like, I don't like board games. You know, there are a couple board games that I actually do enjoy, but I'm. But they don't energize me. They're more neutral.

Right.

And so same with, like, a lot of sports. A lot of times people get so energized by sports. It's not for me. And. And it's. Some of them are neutral, some of them are draining. Although I still love moving my body in different ways. Like, a workout class energizes the heck out of me. Like, I like. Especially if there's weightlifting involved. By the end of that, oof. I'm so energized. Whereas, like, my husband is more depleted after that. But he's a surfer, and he plays volleyball, and he does all of these sports and stuff, and that energizes him. So give yourself permission to do the things that actually energize you, not the things that are supposed to energize you.

So let me recap kind of what I'm hearing here. So we're talking about energy management. And by effectively managing our energy, we're increasing our capacity or our bandwidth or our space to do the things that we love to do that make us feel excited and feel on fire. It enables us to do that better and more effectively and with more gusto. And you suggested the book Design your Life. And I love that example that they have in there where you can actually do an audit of all of the things that you do in your life and then do it kind of like a gas gauge of, like, this is energizing. It builds my gasoline, my energy, or it drains it. And so I love that. And so if you are listening to this content and you're like, oh, I would love that, we'll make sure to put it in the show notes for you. The Design youn Life book. And then figuring out what does energize you, giving yourself permission to not do things that other people say that you should be energized by, and like, getting creative with what actually feels good and fun for you. And the other thing that you said that I want to make sure that we recap is how to buffer energy depletion through automation. So taking those millions of little decisions out of the way and maybe either batching them or automating them or delegating them or deleting them to free up space so that you're not being depleted by what is on your plate. Is that kind of. If I missed anything big that you've talked about?

No. Yeah, I think that that's really good.

Is the.

I just. I just know that people are going to be like, yeah, but how do I do that? Because I used to like, be like, yeah, but how do I actually automate these things? It does take, like, there's a lot to it. So, you know, if you're interested, message me on Instagram or, you know, you can look at my website for. And get on my wait list for the next time my program opens. Because that's like, what we do is automating these things and, and increasing your bandwidth and capacity to be able to do what you want to do in your life and, you know, achieve all the things. But there's. I think we have a. I think we have an episode on like habit change and behavior change from way back in the day. So you can also go listen to that too if you. If you're like, but how do I do this because I'm a behavior change nerd. Like that. My background is in like actually creating behavior change and stuff. So. So you can go back and listen to that too.

So we have that episode and I think there's a success hacks episode too. So I think the podcast. We have two things on there that you could definitely take a peek for. I'll do my best to include those in the show notes too.

Oh yeah, I think the fir. The first one actually was like, I was a guest on the podcast. It was before I was even like a co host.

Oh my gosh. Yeah, we gotta bring that back.

Yeah, we should do another one on that.

Hadley Og.

Yes.

So with energy management, is there anything else that we need to know? Maybe something that we can do right now after this episode ends to like make one change and do today. I know what I'm gonna do, but I'm kind of curious. I'm. I'm kind of open netting it in case you drop another brilliance bomb that we need.

Ah, let's see. I think the easiest one is, is the phone. The phone thing. So that's what's kind of coming to mind is like turning off the notifications and turning on do not disturb. But I'm trying To think if there's, like, one other thing that is like, oh, my gosh, sleep is coming to mind. Because, you know, if we're. If we don't actually have the, like, physical energy, then. Then anything we do will probably deplete our energy, even if it's something that normally energizes us. So, you know, getting to bed at. At, like, a decent hour so that you can get the kind of sleep that you want to have. We also have a sleep episode, so go listen to that if you have trouble with sleeping. But sleep is. Sleep is the thing that it all comes down to. If you don't have that, then it's so hard to do any of the rest of the stuff.

It kind of circles back to what you were saying about, like, rhythm and being in rhythm with the sun rising and the sun setting. Like that circadian rhythm. It's like your body wants rhythm. Like, we all have rhythm and cycles. And so living in accordance to that is inherently going to put you in coherence and energize you.

Our bodies have not evolved to be able to handle the lack of rhythm that we currently have in our society. Like, our. We all. We evolved for thousands and thousands of years to be in alignment. And so it just doesn't make any sense. Like, the amount of, like, we stay up until midnight every night, I mean, I mean, or two in the morning, whatever. Like, it just doesn't make sense. And that's, I think, I mean, that's a huge reason that we've got so many challenges, like health challenges, but also mental health. Also, like just productivity. If you want to be more productive, like, there's. There's where you can start getting your sleep.

I love that this has been so helpful for me. I know I took a lot home. The thing that I'm going to be accountable to is I'm going to buy an alarm clock online so that I can get my phone out of my room.

Best $15 purchase you'll ever make.

Love it. Awesome. Thank you guys for listening. And I definitely highly recommend you checking out the happy, healthy Hadley programs that she's got going on. And I'm sure you're following us on social media. If you haven't, please do so. And Habs has all sorts of stuff, like, going up, she's keeping you up to date. Really great community over there, so definitely check it out. And if you haven't commented on the podcast, like, please share, please review. It helps us so much. And so if you like this podcast, just give us a little love and we would be ever so grateful.

Yeah, we, we appreciate you all so much. Thanks for, thanks for listening. Thanks for, you know, constantly coming back and just we love hearing from you. We love creating this for you. So, you know, leave us a review if you want. It really helps us to be able to keep doing this and to share with more and more people so that they can get this info too. Yay.

Awesome. Thank you, Hadley.

Yes, thank you. See y' all later. Bye.

The recording you just listened to consists of the personal opinions of Dr. Nicole Cain, a naturopathic doctor with a master's in clinical psychology, and Happy Healthy Hadley, an Ayurveda expert with a master's in health, behavior and health education. While these opinions are based upon literature, counseling education, medical training, and clinical experience, this content should not be viewed as the definitive opinion on these subjects. Listening to this podcast is not a substitute for any sort of medical, psychological, or other form of treatment. If you are in a Crisis, please call 911-OR call the National Suicide Prevention Line at 1-800-273-8255. If you are in need of counseling, don't hesitate to make an appointment with a counselor and in your area. Dr. Nicole and Hadley are passionate about you becoming the expert of your own emotional and physical well being. If this resonates with you and you think this podcast would help someone you love, please share it with them. We look forward to seeing you on the next episode of the Holistic Inner Balance Podcast.

Sam Sa.