Life Coaching 101

Good morning, this is Dr. Yvonne Oswald Oswald Oswald. We're here to do Life Coaching 101. I have been a life coach now for 40 years, that I'll admit to. And, uh, if you would all put yourself on mute, that would be amazing. Oh, everybody did, that's great. We're going to start with why would you want to be a life coach. Number one, it's a really important thing to help people, and all of you who are watching today help people. That's who you are, it's your natural way of being. You've been doing it for 2,000 years. You're not learning anything new, actually. You're just repeating what you've already learned in previous lifetimes. And I do believe in previous lifetimes. I've had way too much experience listening to it to think of anything else at this point. And what happens when you're helping people— we tend to inflict our help on people. We'll tend to say, you know, you need help because you— and of course you'll talk to your friends and your friends will say I don't want you to advise me, I just want to vent, which is super important as well. You need to be able to vent. However, you need to have a skill set if you're going to be a life coach. You need to be— do something that's going to actually, uh, make you different from everybody else. I've taught for years in Toronto. People do 2 years of life coaching and nobody ever teaches them how to do change of behaviors. And the change— behavioral change is the one thing you have to get in order to make change happen in people's lives. And people get very well into habits, and habits are very useful things. They're really good sign— they're good time savers. And I want to start— we're going to do a little slideshow, and if you want the slideshow, please email me. The information is at the front and back slide so that you can actually get the slideshow from me. I'm quite happy to give it away. Okay, so let's have a look here. Share the screen. And there we are, there's the first one. Oh, we went to the block thing again, so let's make that a bit smaller. There are over 200 uses for hypnosis, and a study of psychology literature by Alfred Barrios, PhD, revealed the following recovery rates. Psychoanalysis, 38% recovery after 600 sessions. Behaviour therapy, 72% recovery after 22 sessions. I like behaviour therapy, I have no issue with it. Except that it's not to be used for things like PTSD or things that are really serious, right? It's super important that you get behavioral therapy. It can just change behaviors, but if you want to use it for trauma, please don't use it for trauma. Hypnosis is 93% recovery after only 6 sessions. That's very important to know because when I first discovered hypnosis, I'd gone through all kinds of therapy. I'd done Gestalt therapy, talk therapy, rebirthing, you name it. And by the time I discovered hypnosis, I was in my late 30s, early 40s, and it was like the magic wand to me. And then of course I discovered NLP straight after it, and that was it. Once I did the combination of hypnosis and NLP together, it was amazing. When you are becoming a life coach, you need some kind of qualification, and it's really important to do that. So healing is a do-with process, not a do-to process. And Carl Jung said, I never try to convert a patient to anything and never exercise any compulsion. What matters to me is that the patient should reach his own view of things. So you've all been to your friends and your friends have said, you should do this, you need to do that, you should, you know, you have to do that. And it immediately sets up resistance in the conscious mind. And it's not the conscious mind that does the changing, it's the unconscious mind. So with the conscious mind, it really doesn't have very much use for change because all change and all learning is unconscious. So we have to set up a bridge between the conscious and unconscious mind so that we can actually make sure that we can get the message to the unconscious mind to change the original programming. Healing is a do-with process, not a do-to process. And that's really important to know. This is a team effort when you're a life coach. It's not something that you're going to fix people. And those people who sit there and say, fix me. It's not a great thing to do because what happens is you'll end up doing all the work and they won't continue with the homework and do the bit and change the behaviors. So we have the states of consciousness and these are cycles per second. If you are in beta, you are in full conscious awareness and that's when you're high alert, 14 to 28 cycles per second, you're thinking quickly. And with beta, you really have no resources to change. It's what you can see, feel, hear, touch, think about. People say to me, oh, it took me like a year to quit smoking. It didn't, it took one second to quit smoking. It took the conscious mind a full year to make the decision to quit smoking. So the conscious mind is very interesting. And if you spend too much time in the conscious mind, you won't get many changes happening. So, you know, talk therapy is a lot about using the conscious mind. I'm not into using the conscious mind. We have to get the conscious mind out of the way, the filter out of the way in order to make the changes. In alpha, the state of alpha, uh, and hypnosis and meditation are alpha. It's 7 to 14 cycles per second. Super important that you recognize that alpha is a normal and natural state to be. You're in and out of hypnosis every 20 seconds. So when you're writing, when you're watching TV, when you're driving, you're in a state of hypnosis or meditation. You're in that place of alpha when you have direct access to all of others' ideas and information from the universe. Theta is deep hypnosis, and that's what people think of as hypnosis. People, when they think that when they're going into hypnosis, they're going to be like, that's called sleep. So we don't want sleep, we want actual conscious awareness between the conscious and unconscious mind. Uh, theta is a very nice place to be though. It's 4 to 7 cycles per second, and that's when you do your deep healing as you're asleep emotionally. Delta is 0 to 4 cycles per second. That's when you're in deep sleep and that's when you're doing your physical healing. That's why we do the liver cleanse between 10 and 11 at night because that's when your body is doing the liver. So that's why you're not supposed to drink after 10 o'clock at night, although most of us do. Okay, cool. So Milton Erickson said, your patients will be your patients because they're out of rapport with their unconscious minds. In other words, they're saying talk to the hand when the unconscious mind attempts to give them information. And all learning and all change is unconscious, and confusion precedes learning. So when you're teaching a class and they say, I'm confused, that's really good because that means they're in the middle of making, changing the file folders around and making a difference. I'm going to include this on the slide, although you really don't, I don't particularly want to go through the whole thing right now. Your conscious mind in general is only 10% of who you are. It categorizes information, it's aware, it contacts reality through the sense organs, and it presents information to the unconscious mind for storage. The unconscious mind does the rest of the job. It receives 2 million pieces of information every single second, and it puts that information into groups of 126, and then you're only aware of 7 bits of information. That's why, you know, I always think of it like a 2 million piece jigsaw puzzle. And if you're looking at the puzzle and I say to you, what's in that jigsaw puzzle? And you'll say, well, you know, it's like shadow under the tree, misery every day. And no matter what we say, that's all you're going to see because 80% of your thinking, your conscious thinking is negative and it's been proven to be negative. That's why we need behavioral change, but we also need emotional change. So that we can think in a different part of our brain. As we pick up information, it goes into the amygdala, into the limbic brain, and then it gets transferred into the prefrontal cortex for analyzing and then making sense of. So we want to really focus on making the conscious mind spend more of its time in the prefrontal cortex, which is actually where we can actually achieve a lot more. When we're in limbic or in amygdala, we're just doing fight or flight. We're working on emotions, working through emotions, and it's not a very helpful place to be if you're making decisions about your future or making decisions about changing behaviors. So we are going to do a tiny little induction for everybody so that you can pick up the learning easily. Would you like that? It's very— it's only 2 minutes. I've just picked a quick one up, and it's simply because we want you to be able to relax and go into alpha Because in alpha, you are going to actually go into trance and pick up all the information straight through the prefrontal cortex instead of being in your conscious mind, which may or may not pick information up. So if you would like to—

everybody close your eyes and separate your hands and feet. You may want to relax your back into a comfortable position. Imagine you're standing in the center of a beautiful and sacred temple. Become aware of the sound of a crystal clear spring of water as it trickles from a nearby fountain. Feel the cool marble beneath your feet and smell the scent of pine from the trees as the soft breeze caresses your face through an open window. As the new sun's rays reach you through the colored glass, you can feel its relaxing, delicious warmth on your skin and body. You can taste the freshness of the morning. Notice a few clouds drifting across the sky, a sky which seems to go on forever. That's right. Brighten up the colors and notice how the rainbow of light fills every corner of the temple, bringing with it a sense of peace, safety, and tranquility. This light stands for everything that's good in life, such as love, innocence, truth, and harmony. Allow the golden healing energy of the light to flow, releasing and relaxing every muscle, cell, and tissue in your beautiful body. Feel the wonderful cleansing light flow down automatically over your hair and onto your face. Allow your eyes to relax, getting heavier now. The lids droop and the face softens. The jaw relaxes. The light automatically continues to flow through the eyes as the muscles behind the eyes release and the eyes get heavier. It flows down, relaxing the head, neck, and shoulders. The shoulders release and soften. The mind may stay aware, or it may become drowsy and drifting. Whatever happens is exactly as it should be. It's a natural process. You'll still be aware of my voice and voices in the background, and they become a comfortable, relaxing sound. My words soon flow into one another and go into your mind naturally, so you no longer have to listen to the words as your unconscious mind understands everything. You can simply let go now, gathering up and releasing today, gathering up and releasing the past. Gathering up and letting go of the future. Just be in the moment now. This is a space of pure relaxation and harmony. So go ahead and open your eyes.

And you'll find yourself feeling very relaxed now. And once you're relaxed, you can really take information in beautifully. Um, you're actually directly in contact with your unconscious mind now, which has direct connection with the God, the universe, the universal mind, whatever you want to call it. And it's super important that you, you recognize that that's where the change begins. So even if you're just doing a chat with a client, as you start the session, you need to just put them into a little relaxation state, even if you just close your eyes and do some deep breathing.

Share screen, we're going back to the PowerPoint. Okay, let's do share again.

So we had the induction and the first steps. So we're now getting into what's important about being a life coach. You need your business cards and that's the, that's the first thing your job is to get your business cards done. I spent a fortune on literally $2,000 with all the magazines in Toronto, all the health magazines. I put adverts everywhere. I did everything you could possibly imagine to get my name out there. I got not one bit of result. I did, I even had a bench. I paid $4,000 to have my name on the bench. Hypnosis, you know, for weight release and all the rest of it. Not one. Clients would see it, clients would come and arrive and say, oh, your bench looks really nice, but I never actually got any business from it. So the business cards is gonna be one thing. And of course you've got phones these days, so when you're at a convention, you want to be making sure that someone's got your phone number and you've got theirs. Usually I ask for a business card when I'm at a convention. Uh, simply because I want to go, oh really? Oh wow, you're an accountant. You do a really, really stressful job, right? And they go, yeah. And I'll say, can I send you a 20-minute relaxation MP3 so that you can actually enjoy your work better? You can listen to it every morning, just get to center. And they'll say, yes, please. Right. And you do need to use the word stress. They relate to stress. They don't relate to relaxation. Once you've got them in front of you, you can talk about relaxation. However, we need to join their model of the world and then and bring them into ours. The next thing you want is your website. And the number of people I've spoken to and the number of people I've trained who say, I'll set my business up when the website's finished— your website will never be finished. There's not a chance. It's going to be changed. I, I can't— I don't even know how many times I've changed websites and web builders and everything else. So just start with one front page, and usually wix.com, W-I-X, is a really good place to start. You can set up your first front page and then add pages to it as you go. I get very little business from the website, in honesty. I get most of my business from YouTube, and we're going to talk about that in a little while. On the front page, you want a picture of you. This is all about you as a life coach. We don't want, you know, a picture of a woman running over a hill. It's like, that doesn't mean anything. It's all about you. We want you, we want information about you. And here's the best way to do a website. Oprah Winfrey, Jack Canfield, all the other big guys have spent fortunes. They've spent hundreds of thousands of dollars on their websites. So all you need to do is go to their websites and model them, which is pure NLP, neuro-linguistic programming. So it's actually, we model somebody who's doing something correctly. So don't reinvent the wheel. You don't need to do anything except, you know, I mean, even on your business card,. It needs to have your face on it. It needs to have a picture of you on it simply because we want you to be able, we want to be able to see you and remember you. Here's the thing, at a business meeting or at a convention or anywhere else, they're going to take that card and they're going to see the picture of you and go, 'Oh, I remember that person, they were really nice.' If they see a picture, just writing, and it says Owl Coaching, They're gonna go, what? I have no idea what that is. I can't remember who it was. And it goes straight in the bin. People do not like to throw a face suit in the garbage. So it's kind of interesting. They'll keep it anyway. And what I always do at the end of a session when I'm with someone in person, I'll give them the business card and say, I'd like you to take this business card. And they always say, I've got your number. And I'll say, would you please give it to a friend of yours? And they'll go, oh, of course. Yeah, sure. Right? Especially at a business meeting or a convention, you give them a card and you say, if you know anybody who needs some coaching, could you please give them my business card? And they'll say, yes, actually I might need someone. How much do you charge? And you'll get like the double business from it. And it's really very easy to do. And it's a nice sideways in instead of going directly and say, I do life coaching and you need help. People don't like that. Right, so the front page of the website has to have a call to action, and you need to be collecting numbers. Your job for the next 6 to 12 months as a life coach is literally to get as many emails on your newsletter as possible. When you have 5,000 people on your newsletter, you have a business. With 25,000 on your newsletter, you then can play with the big boys. They'll be quite happy to have you on their podcast or anything else. And you want to make sure that you're giving a free download on that front page. You want a call to action. So it's you, picture of you, information about you. Immediately below that, a call to action. Claim your free download here. It needs to be an online thing, not an actual— you don't want to send a book out.

It's a lot very—

you don't want— you really want to make it as easily available as possible. So the quicker you get out there, the better. Any class you do, make sure it's online, make sure people know about it. Um, that you want— when they have to, when they claim their free download, it's going to go to a landing page, and you want their name, email, and phone number. They've opted in basically at that point. They can always opt out, you know, with any newsletter you send out, you're going to be saying, you know, at the bottom, you can opt out here. So the goal is to get the 5,000. When my book came out in 2008, Every Word Has Power, I had probably about 2,000 people on my newsletter list. And she said, you need 5,000. I'm like, where am I going to get 5,000? And I literally, it was really easy. I had it, I had within 5 months I had 5,000 people. And it was everywhere I went that I would say, would you like a little MP3 that I can send to you? And I'll just 'Pop you on my newsletter,' and they'll say, 'Yeah, I'd love to,' right? And it's really— people are very open to it. They know what the game is. They know you're asking to put them on your newsletter. If you're at a conventional speaking, you make sure you've got everybody's information before you leave. You don't leave it to chance, because even when someone passes your name on, they will particularly— they'll say, 'That's a really good idea,' at the time, and they'll mean to do it. We've all done it. 'Oh yeah, I meant to go and do that, meet that lady,' and didn't remember to. So ideally when someone says, I'll pass your name on, you say, could you give us a mutual introduction please on an email? And it's really important that mutual introduction will actually get you more business because you've got, you're in control of it, then you can email them and if they're interested, they'll email back. If they're not, you just won't hear from them, right? So it's very important. I've had, I recommend lots and lots of people, and people recommend me. The only ones I really usually hear from are the ones who do that double introduction: Dr. Yvonne, meet so-and-so, so-and-so, meet Dr. Yvonne, she's really amazing. And then they leave it to the person, and I'm then going to contact them and, you know, say, are you interested in this, that, or the other? And more often than not, they'll say yes please, or not right now, I'd love to do it in September. Um, and then you've actually got your beginnings of your newsletters set up.

Cool.

So wealthy mind equals wealthy wallet. You want to be networking. So you want to contact local groups who run networking breakfast or breakfast or meetings. When you Google, you want to Google network breakfast, networking clubs, networking events, or executive networking. Then you type in your, the name of your, your own city. So what comes up is local. And relevant. What you do then is you spend a month going around from meeting to meeting, find one or two that suit you comfortably. In other words, your kind of people. So be aware that it needs to be a group that you love. Meditation groups are great. Meditation are the life coach kind of people. And the second you go to a meditation group or, and say, I'm a life coach, you'll get people immediately interested. Give your card out, and as you give the card out, remember, could you give this card to a friend if you know someone who needs some life coaching or hypnosis, NLP, or whatever it is that you're selling to do with the life coaching? Okay, so mastermind group. You want to set up your own mastermind group. Do what you can, for sure go to somebody else's mastermind group. However, you're going in there as a student and not as the leader. And if you're doing life coaching, you're a leader and we need to get in as a leader. Uh, when you meet in real life, uh, or virtually, 1 hour a week, 1 hour a month to speak, and you can share tips and keep each other on track. When you have your own mastermind group, you can have speakers on and that will interest other people. So those speakers will bring people to you from their group and they'll like you and then start coming every month to the meeting. Um, when I first got to Canada when I was 36, lovely girl, called Georgie started a meeting called Sharing in her basement, and it started out with 3 of us, and we'd each bring a snack, and she charged $10 each. Within 6 months, she had 50 people crammed into her basement, and everybody was really happy because each week she would have a different speaker there. And speakers are quite happy to talk for free to get more interest for themselves. You're going to be happy to talk for free. I'll be happy to talk for free if it's a local I don't have to travel very far. And it was quite amazing. I got a lot of business from that, right? So having your own mastermind group is way preferable. You can join a little mastermind group, you know, just to get experience of how it's run. That's a good idea. And then start your own. And you can charge or not charge. You can, if you charge, you're likely to have a smaller group, obviously. However, once you get experience, you can then charge and people quite happy to pay you. So each person gets 5 minutes to ask for help or suggestions, and you can call it, you know, Life Coach Mastermind Group and have actual life coaches or people who just need life coaching. You can also go to freeconferencecall.com, and that's a way to set up a mastermind group. Also meetup.com to find out where the groups are happening in your area. And there are lots, there are also lots. So get out there. We have social media, Facebook, LinkedIn, Pinterest, Instagram, Twitter, blog to increase your list. Facebook, I've not found much business from Facebook. It's basically for people who like to chat and talk all day, and I'm, I don't have time for that. LinkedIn, 100%, you have to have your LinkedIn profile set up. You're a business person now. Pinterest and Instagram, 100%. Instagram is great for bringing a following and starting to get people coming after you. You can do a tip a day for 30 days. Also, I didn't put it in and it's really useful actually. There's a thing called celebrations. If you go, if you go into Google and type celebrations, there's a celebration day for every single day of the year. It's the hug a friend day. It's the kiss a granny day. It's the whatever. And those are the things you can actually say. Today is Hug a Person Day. Make, make sure you say something kind to every person you meet. And you can put that on a little Instagram post and suddenly people go, that's interesting, I never thought— you know, if you start to actually get it so that it's a regular thing you do. Twitter, I think I've done 3 tweets in my life. It's kind of useful, I guess, for some people. It's not something I take to. A blog, absolutely, for me is the least thing I'm gonna ever do. If you— people, people love blogs, I know they do, and you get a huge following blogs, but the thought of me typing every single day and telling people what I've had for breakfast is not my idea of anything that I want to do. I'm really, really— I can save someone's life in 10 minutes. Do not ask me to do administration. It's like not interesting. So, and it depends on your personality, you know. I like to get out there and talk to people and make things happen. For me to sit there just typing is not my idea of a fun thing. It would, for me, it would be something which is labor-intensive with not much results. It's interesting, I had a real estate guy years ago, absolutely fabulous guy, and he was taught that every year, every day for an hour, he was supposed to do cold calling. And he'd done it for 15 years. And I said, why are you doing that? And he said, because that's what they said I should do. And I said, well, did you ever get any results from it? I said, how many results have you had from it? He said, nothing. He said, very few, maybe 2 houses. And I said, as of today, you're never gonna cold call again then. And he was like, seriously, I don't have to cold call? Oh my God. He said, that's amazing. He said, oh, he said, I've been dreading getting up every day for 15 years. I was like, wow, these are old-fashioned methods that, you know, don't work anymore. And I said, if you focus on your own area or call people who you've sold a house to in the past and say, do you know anyone else who may be thinking of selling a house? They'll probably say after 5 years, yeah, we're thinking ourselves. Within 6 months, he was the number 1 bestseller in the whole organization. And literally because he didn't do what everybody else said he should do. So I want you to think outside the box in some ways. You follow what works in one way and the other way, think outside the box. When I got my book accepted, I actually phoned the publisher who was the publisher of Beyond Words. They were the publisher of The Secret and they'd literally just gone huge overnight. The Secret was a massive success. And I phoned the assistant and I said, you know, can I send my book into the publisher? And she said, no, you need, you need a, you need an agent. I said, well, I haven't got an agent. She said, what's your book about? I said, it's about how to change how you think inside your mind and how to change your words so you self-talk. And she was like, oh, send it to me now. And literally the day before, apparently Cindy Black, the, uh, the editor then had said to her, I wish someone would write a book about how to change your mind, not just what to do, you know, just not change your mind and you know, everything else. She's like, she said, I'd love a book on what to do to make it happen. And I literally phoned the day after and on Monday morning I had my contract. So literally, you know, when you think this is a good idea, go ahead and do it. If it doesn't cost anything, absolutely, you're gonna get a yes or a no and it could well be something that's totally different. Get your own YouTube channel. This is the best thing I ever did in my whole life for the life coaching. I went to Florida and I was working with a lovely lady who was doing some videos for me, and she said, right, we're going to do 6 videos today, and, uh, in the video, you know, you're going to say what you're going to want to talk about. So I said, okay, fine. And then as we started, she said, what are you selling at the end? I said, selling anything. So what happened was she said, well, what would you like to sell today? I'm like, maybe I'd like to tell someone to go to my website and, you know, buy the book. So she said, okay, that's what you're going to say at the end. What happened was we did the 6 videos and I thoroughly enjoyed it. It was really good. It started out with big long videos, like an hour, and I couldn't keep my attention for an hour. Nobody else could either. So you want the maximum 3 to 5 minute videos. People will, as soon as they see how long it is on the bottom, if it's gonna be an hour, they're not gonna bother. They're going to just say thank you, I'll just flick through it or something. With your own YouTube channel, you can then get people and get loyal followers with that, especially if you're doing free tips. So it's like Tony's Tips or, you know, if you just do a load of tips. Here's what I advise you to do with that. The way I started out was very arbitrary. I did 6 videos, then I did another 6 videos, then I did another 3 videos. And by the time I had about 20 videos, I had no idea what was on each video. And I was repeating myself and I found that it was very arbitrary. What I would have done had I known ahead of time is I would've made a list of 50 topics, 25 or 50 topics, like how to stop procrastination, how to, um, what, what, what food to eat have protein in them. Uh, how to do a liver cleanse, how to do this, how to do that, how to make yourself happy, how to, how to do affirmations that actually work, you know, that kind of thing. What would happen then is that I've got like Meet Your Own Guide, which is an obvious one. The other ones, literally, I've got lots of information that I gathered in. What I would have done when looking back is made that list of 50 videos, video titles, and then just tick them off. Easiest first, not in the order you do them, but easiest first, the one you can just talk about for 2 or 3 minutes. And then cross it out and then do the next one. You want your information at the beginning of the video, so you want all about you, your phone number, your email, and at the end of the video too. So it's bye for now, thanks for watching, and then your information. They can stop it there and copy down the information if they're interested. And what I put on my website is go ahead and join my YouTube channel for access to all my free instructional videos. I give all my videos away. I think there's probably 40 right now or more. And, um, someone was wanting to do some marketing for me, and he looked on my video channel and he said, but you've given all your best stuff away. And I said, you know what? I said, that is a fraction of what I know. You want something that people go, wow, that worked, let me go to Dr. Yvonne. Um, if you look up Yvonne Oswald Mind Magic, that's the, um, The Release the Negative Emotion in Less Than a Minute invention I did, I was nominated for a Visionary Award. It works every day and I use it every day. Um, I'm not keen on tapping, I'm not keen on EFT. It doesn't go to root cause and it tends to, um, it, it tends to bring a lot heavier emotions up than you want to come up. EMDR, which is the, you know, looking like this, you, you, you look from left to right and the, and it actually works beautifully. You process emotions through your peripheral vision. So when we, when you're driving, when you're driving along and the cars are moving, you're actually processing emotions. So you start out on a long drive for 2 hours and you start out going, put the pedal on the right. Hello, are you gonna ever speed up a little bit here? And by the time you've done 2 hours, you've worked through all your emotions with all the movement that's been going on, and you get there, it's like, I'm walking on sunshine. And you're feeling great. That's exactly right. EMDR though, I found super slow. I like things fast. I always said if some, it takes someone 3 years, can I do it in 3 minutes? And yes, we can. Right? So we want quick results. And with this too, be aware that you, you can get a lot of business once a week from people. They're very happy to pay you $70, $100 a week to be kind of, you know, every week you do a little bit. I rather think that's about like cherry picking and I'm not a babysitter. I prefer to do one huge session, 4 hours or more, and clear everything, especially with all the things I love doing, which is the heavy duty things, the PTSD, depression, and sexual abuse and things. Those I love because I'm really good at them. The lady yesterday, I got rid of the PTSD in about 5 minutes. It was super simple to do with the NLP. So whatever you're going to be studying to do your life coaching, get as many things under your belt as you can. Hypnosis and NLP are 100% essential as far as I'm concerned. Nothing works any better. And while I love hypnosis, the NLP is super fast. It just literally deletes the whole file and redirects the neural pathway. So when you've got some information, when you, when you're getting there, when you're realizing, yeah, I'd like to, I'm at the I'm saying the things every day, you can write a, start writing your book or run an online course. Online courses are a fabulous way to get your numbers up, really. You can do thinkific.com, you can do Udemy. They don't charge very much. However, you'll get their information and that means you're gonna start getting your list, getting up there. So when you're speaking, this is really important. We want you to speak. 100% we want you to speak. Um, you want to— a 1-hour speech and a 20-minute speech, because when you, when you actually go to conferences, when you go to businesses, you want to be able to have that already prepared and something that you know really well. Make it interactive and experiential, right? So whenever I'm doing a conference, when I'm a keynote speaker, or I'm actually working with people, with a group, I always make it so that they join in within 2 seconds. Like, and I'll just say, who would like to learn to relax right now? And they'll go, oh yeah, please. And I'll just say, put your hand on your diaphragm, take a deep breath and let it go. And you have now told your unconscious mind that the danger is over and it can relax. And then the second thing I usually do is find out where your tongue is in your mouth right now. If it's on the roof of your mouth, you're on high alert. And that's where most people spend most of their time, on high alert. We can consciously put the tongue at the bottom of the mouth so that they can relax. And that's a super simple thing to do right at the beginning of any talk where you just give them immediate proof that you, that your stuff works fast. The second thing I normally do, if I've got a big group, 300, 2,000 people, I'll say, let me show you how using a different part of your brain can actually make you think differently and clear a negative emotion fast. Because in some parts of the brain, you cannot feel a negative emotion. So I always say, who's ever heard the expression, keep your chin up? And they'll go, yeah, yeah. Literally, if you put your chin up an inch, you cannot feel a negative emotion. It's really interesting, actually. It takes you into a different part of your brain. So what I normally do is I'll say, put your head down. Everybody can do this. Go ahead and think of a time when you were sad or disappointed. Find out where it is in your body. Now go ahead, look up, choose your spot on the ceiling, put your chin up an inch, take a deep breath, and now try to feel sad or disappointed. And they'll go, wow, that's amazing. It's just not there. It literally is not there, right? Very, very interesting. You can't access it when you're, when your head's in that position. The most important thing about that too is that it's immediate proof that you know some things that they don't. And I always do a little commissura at the beginning of any session and at the beginning of when I'm meeting people in real life. You know, you want, um, You want the parents of the, of the person you're working with. Teenagers, by the way, are really easy to work with, amazingly easy. The best age to work with is between 11 and 21. It will only take 1 or 2 sessions maximum to clear everything. After that, it tends to get a bit locked in and you're spending a bit more time. So the thing I usually do when I've got, um, parents here is I will actually Let me just see if I can get me there.

Nope, can't.

Uh, what I'll actually do is do this. Hold on a moment.

Let me get out of sharing a minute. Stop share.

Cool.

Right, there we are.

Hello. So, uh, what we're gonna do here is I call it the twirl and flip. And with NLP, it's the easiest thing in the world. And you can just say it's a life coaching technique. You don't need to necessarily say it's an NLP, uh, although It's very useful. Uh, what I want you to do is think of a time you were frustrated. And this is 100% what I will do with every single parent who brings someone to me. And I'll do it with my clients too at the beginning of the session, or whether they're live or online. So you've got your client in front of you or online, and you say, go ahead and think of a time you got frustrated. And everybody gets frustrated every day. It's super simple. So what you do is you put, you ask them to put the head down and find where in the body that frustration is. So we've got the twirl and flip. You put your head down, you've got where it is in your physical body. Some people will say, I don't know where it is in my physical body, because if they're auditory digital or auditory, they have not a clue how to do that. So you just say, make up a place. Really, it doesn't matter. If you have a file folder in a computer and you put it in a different place, it's still the same file folder. Right? So it makes no difference where you decide to put it. So I'm looking down, I've got something in my solar plexus. So we're going to make it a shape and a color. So choose a shape, choose a color. I know what mine is. And then you're going to— you can have your eyes closed for this if you like— you spin it clockwise or counterclockwise. It really doesn't matter which way it goes, but clockwise or counterclockwise. And then pop it out of that part of your body and in front of your body. So now it's tipping upside down, and because it tips upside down, it will be going a different way. So if it's been going clockwise, it will go anticlockwise. If it's been going anticlockwise, it will go clockwise. Then change the shape and the color. So change the shape and the color. I've changed mine. Okay, I've got— and it needs to be a totally different shape, so not from square to rectangle, it needs to be square to circle or something like that. So, um, get that circle or square or rectangle, whatever shape it is, and the, the color going the different way. Lock it back in the body where the original one was. Pop it back in and lock it by clicking your fingers. Open your eyes and now try to feel frustrated. And it's absolutely impossible. You can't do it because we've changed the neural direction of the pathway. Right. We've changed the submodalities on the, on the emotion. Therefore you can't access it anymore. Right. So we've got, we've, we've started the session. We're gonna get back to the marketing now. Um, I want you to have a lot of useful information, right? When you're speaking, you want to, like I said, do it for free, uh, originally until you've got some good experience. When you're speaking also, you want a PowerPoint and you want maybe 25 slides. I always use a PowerPoint if I'm speaking. I don't these days because I don't need one. However, when I started out, for sure I needed a PowerPoint. And you've got your little flicker, you just go to the next slide so you can keep up with your own talking. You can actually know what's coming up next for yourself. So it saves you having to learn a massive amount of information. By the way, when you do a speaking engagement, make sure you know the first 2 minutes and the last 2 minutes. If you can know the first 2 minutes off by heart, it will take you straight into the speech. And then the last 2 minutes is the most important too, because you want a call to action at the end. You want to get all their emails for your newsletter, and you give out a sign-in sheet or an info sheet to every person at your talk. It literally says, yes please, Dr. Yvonne Oswald, please send me my free Relax into Prosperity 20-minute hypnosis MP3. And then I say, please tick next to your name for me to send you more information on hypnosis, private 4-hour breakthrough session, and then my information. And you've got then people who are interested. What happens is when I— before I even start to speak, I'll go and say to people, uh, could you just pass this round please? And I literally pass it to the first person, they'll write their information on and pass it round. If they don't want to be on your list, they just won't fill it in. It's really simple. And then towards the end I'll say, did everybody fill in the, um, did everyone fill in the sheet, uh, so that we can, so that you could actually, uh, get your free Relax into Prosperity CD, um, MP3? And they'll all go, oh no, no, pass it to me, I want one, I want one. So you'll get everybody actually putting their name on it. It's actually really useful. Those people go onto your newsletter list, they've already opted in. They can totally opt out. And I'll say to people, you know, I'm going to send you the MP3. You've opted in. And I'll say, I'll put you on my newsletter list. If you don't want to receive it after the first one, you can always opt out, please. Right? So give them the option to do it. That call to action is super important. And at the end, you want to be able to say, this is what I want you to do. Otherwise, what happens is this. You do a great talk. And you say, thank you very much, everybody. And they all go, yay. And then go to lunch. And it's like, and your point? And then you are in the business of trying to collect business cards, right? From people. When I used to go to conventions, when I first started, I would go to a convention with maybe 300 people and I'd end up with 300 business cards in my pocket or 300 people on my phone and I'd have no idea who, who I was talking to. What happened is most of them would end up in the garbage cuz I really couldn't remember who I'd spoken to. What I started doing then was putting the people, one put one people in the right pocket or the left pocket who I wasn't really interested in connecting with because they had no real connection with me. And the other people, the people I wanted to contact again, I put in the other, or I'd make a little note on the back of the business card. When you do your business card, please make sure it's not shiny. It looks great, you can't write on it. And people have, you know, black black shiny on the back. Well, that's use— not useful for you or anybody else because you can't write nice person contact or interested in NLP or interested in a session. You want to be able to write on it and you want them to be able to write on yours. Though with those cards, I now, when I go to a conference, I know there are 3 people in that room who are in my soul group. That's it. I'm looking for 3 people who I relate to. So I'll go up to people, I'll say hi, And how do you get to meet people as a group? Who— put your hand up if you find that you tend to not be very happy going into conferences. You know, it's like, ah, it's a bit scary meeting all these new people, right? So what you can do is walk up to a group of people and give someone a compliment. Whoever I'm meeting, I always give someone a compliment first. It's a real— it is a conversation starter. So I'll say, I love your necklace.

Where did you get it from?

It's really pretty. Or also I love your hair! Oh my gosh, I've always wanted hair like that. You know, meet people with long hair and I'm like, I'm so jealous, right? Literally you talk about them and what happened because what happens normally is you go up to people and they say, "What do you do?" And you go, "I am blah blah blah." It's all about me. If you make it about them first of all and say, you know, I love this, I love that when I'm doing speaking engagement if I have keynote particularly, I want people friendly before I start. So I will go around the breakfast room, cuz there's always a breakfast first, and I'll say, hi, I'm your keynote speaker, Dr. Yvonne Oswald Oswald Oswald. Oh, I love that tie. Wow. It's really cool. Uh, I'm looking forward to seeing you. Bye. See you soon. And I'll go onto the next group and do the same thing. Just pick someone out, you know, something, pick out something nice about someone and say something. And it's a very useful thing to do when you're coaching people. What happens is people are not used to complimenting other people. So one of my first things I always do when I'm coaching, that first session, is I will say, your job this week, your homework this week, is to go and compliment every single person you meet, whether it's someone at the checkout, whether it's someone in a car park. Say something nice about them. Number one, people love people noticing them, and it brings you— it gets you used to just being there speaking and talking to total strangers. If you're a speaker, you have to be able to talk to total strangers. You can't be shy, but you need to get over it. And it's a really good way to get over it by just giving people compliments and being nice to them. In a mall, if I see any young girl, particularly the teenagers, they spend 3 hours doing themselves up. They look beautiful and they're walking around thinking, someone notice me, someone notice me. I'll always walk up and I'll say, wow, you are amazingly put together well today. You look beautiful. And they'll say, "Thank you so much," and you can see you've made the day. Well, why wouldn't you make anyone's day? You know, it's like you don't know what they've been through that week, and it's so nice to be able to say something nice to them. So we've got the call to action. You end the speech with a piece of paper in your hand. I was doing a keynote speech at Harvard Medical School, about 600 people in the audience, and You know, you'll hear people say you're better just winging it. You're better. You are not better winging it. Please don't ever wing it. I, it was an hour talk and literally I wrote it out and I, at every traffic light, I would pick up the piece of paper and I'd be saying, good morning, ladies and gentlemen. And I would actually, I learned it off by heart. So much so that at 3 o'clock in the morning on the day of the convention, I was sitting in the bath saying, good morning, ladies and gentlemen. And I did the whole hour and I did it with my keynote, with my PowerPoint. And this lady came up to me after, she said, that was amazing. She said, how were you so spontaneous? She said, you talked for a whole hour with total spontaneity. I said, yes, I did, didn't I? They didn't need to know. And it's very interesting that you'll find that people will relate to you and smiling at, you know, when you've been around the breakfast room and made friends with people, you've already got half a dozen people smiling at you as you stand there on the stage. And that's really what you want. You want to be relatable. I also stay for any convention. I'll stay and make friends with people. I'll stay and talk to them and do quick, you know, quick fixes and things. It's a very good way to actually get so that they relate to you. I'm always available. If I'm going to a 3-day convention, I'm there for the whole 3 days, including in the evenings. Okay, and people have just come up to you and talk to you, and that's how you get your business through the door, right? Is we want to help people, we're here to help people. Just doing your speech and then leaving, it kind of, to me, it leaves a not good taste in my mouth when people do that. It's like, oh really, you can't even give people a few minutes of your time afterwards? So yeah, give people a lot of your time, you're going to get a lot more business that way. However, when you get too famous, you do— I do know why people have, um, bodyguards. I know I was speaking at a convention with the Women's Prosperity Network in Florida. Great guild, Nancy Matthews. And I actually went for a pee halfway through. And as I opened the bathroom door, there were 3 ladies standing right outside and they were like, well, we knew you, we saw you coming down the corridor, so we followed you. Oh, you did? I thought, I'm glad I just had a pee then. I said, could you just let me wash my hands and then I'll talk to you? And it's really interesting. You will, once you, once they realize that you've got something really good to share, though they just really want to want as much of you as they can. And it's a very nice feeling. I've never, I've never felt— I've always felt that that's a really special thing for people to do to you.

It's something—

it's a very big compliment. Okay, um, so get their contact info. This is what you want at the end of the bottom of the, um, the sign-in sheet. Yes, Dr. Yvonne Oswald Oswald Oswald, yes, and I'd like, I'd like to claim my free Prosperity CD download on my free 10-page this and the copy of the PowerPoint from today, and then the name, the telephone number, and email, and they write it in. If you've got your book ready, you can sell your book. Take your books with you. And this is super important to know. What I found when I did the Lunch and Learns, I was super disappointed. I did it for 2 years, and I did Lunch and Learn after Lunch and Learn after Lunch and Learn, and I finally got it. What happens when you do a lunch and learn? The one who gets you in is usually not the top person. It's usually the one who wants to get brownie points from the top person. And in just about every— especially when I was starting out, not these days, obviously these days it's different. However, when you're starting out, you definitely want to not do lunch and learns. You get there, the person who wants the brownie points is not in the room. They're all sitting, eating their lunch and talking to each other. Whatever you're trying to teach is not going in. And at the end of it, you say to the person, you know, I know you said you would give me a nice recommendation if, uh, if it went down well. She said, well, I wasn't there, so I really can't give a recommendation, but I will mention your name to the person. Like, wow. And then, uh, one lady actually said— I say, well, you know, if I'm getting something out of it, can I at least sell some books and CDs? At the time it was quite a few years ago. And she said, oh yes, absolutely. So I ordered like 300 books. I got a load of MP3 CDs, real live ones, cost me a lot of money. And as I was going in with the box, she said, you can't sell anything. And I was like, what do you mean I can't sell anything? You said I could. She, well, I asked the boss and the boss said no. And it's like, get the information up front. What are you going to get from that? If it's just practice, if you just want practice talking to a group, fantastic. But be aware you won't get much back, okay? Unless you get to the point where you're super, super popular and, you know, high profile, and then, then you'll get a lot of people listening to you and actually not sitting eating while I'm chatting while you're working, okay? For your book, you've all got a book in you. I know you have. Even if it's only a 10-page downloadable book, um, you tell people every day the same things over and over again when you're life coaching. And it's really useful to actually write down some of the things you consistently do. However, there's also the other thing, you don't set them too high goals. I know that if someone's doing nutrition, it's like, right, from today you're never going to eat this again, you're never going to eat that again, you're going to only have salads for the rest of your life, you've got to cut out this, you've got to cut out that. And it's like, uh-huh, that's so not going to happen. Okay, I went to a nutritionist, naturopath woman. And she said, you know, write down what you eat for a week. And I was actually quite pleased. I'm actually eating a lot better these days than I was. And she said, I see you having a coffee every morning.

I'm like, yep.

I said, it's gone down from like 20 cups a day to 1 cup a day in the morning when I get up. She said, we'll have to stop that. And I was like, come on. You know, I didn't go back. I'm like, no. You're not going to stop every little pleasure I have when it's really, you know, I watch everything else. I do 20 lengths in the swimming pool every day. Like, I'm really looking after myself. So be aware too that they're not going to like the kind of exercise you like to do, right? That's really important to know. You ask them what kind of exercise they want to do. And the exercise is a really important point of life coaching. When you're moving your body, you're actually moving those emotions out the way as well. All right. So, um, I know when I've ever used to get life coaching, they always say, so you're going to go for a run a day. You will never get me running. I do not like running. I apologize that my boobs go up and down. I don't enjoy the feeling of that and my breath doing this. I don't like people looking at me when I'm, when I don't know how to run. And it's not something I'm going to enjoy doing at all, ever. So, you know, I went out with a guy once in England. And he persuaded me to go jogging every morning. It took 2 weeks before I got pneumonia. It was great. This is the best thing I ever did. I'm like, pneumonia, can't possibly go there again. And you know, even after pneumonia, he's like, now you can start again. No, I don't want that pneumonia back. Right. We'll hurt ourselves if we don't want to do something. So basically it's what I usually say to people, what did you used to love doing when you were a teenager? Because that's usually what they'll be happy going back to—basketball or yoga or swimming or something like that. And you get them to do the task and you don't get them to do an hour. You start out with 10 minutes and you keep 10 to 20 minutes. Do not go higher than that. The biggest mistake people make in life coaching is that—oh wow, it's midday already, that went fast—is that we, they actually put the bar up and put the bar up and put the bar up so that you go to impossible and then you stop doing it altogether. 'Oh, can you do 10 minutes today? Can you do 15 minutes tomorrow? Can you do 20 minutes?' What you're going to do is say you're going to do 10 minutes today and for the rest of your life, and anything else is going to be bonus points. So it's always going to be 10 minutes with more bonus points. That way it's achievable and they will actually do it. So as far as the money's concerned, you want to get to Business Depot, get your PayPal account, get Square. Uh, people are doing Venmo in America. Be careful if you're in Canada because it, it, some things don't work across the border. Square doesn't work across the border. So you, I, I tend to use always PayPal. It's like, it's the simplest thing, PayPal or Interac e-transfer. And then when you're speaking at conventions, originally they'll always try and get you for free, always try and get you for free. So what would happen is I would call a convention and say, I like your convention, you know, What speakers do you need? Oh, put your application in. We'll see whether we can bother having you. And I thought, hang on a minute, I've got my PhD, I'm a bestselling author, I've got everything going for me. Why wouldn't they want me? And in the end, what I did is I did one phone call which changed my life. And I phoned the woman and I said, what budget do you have for the keynote speaker? And she said, well, we don't have a budget. She said, why? I said, well, I like your convention. I'd like to do your keynote. You know, what budget can you have? And she said, well, what do you usually charge? So I said, $10,000. She said, oh my God, we couldn't afford that. I said, well, can you get back to me please and let me know what your budget is? She didn't even ask me who I was. Literally, she called me back the next day and she said, oh, we could probably manage $7,000. Would that work for you? I'm like, sure it will. Right. So, you know, an average, like, little local convention is $1,200. In the corporate world, they're charging $30,000 a day, or $15,000 to $30,000 a day. So you need to work out who you're approaching first of all, what kind of budget they have, because you want to know that they're worthwhile doing it for. You want business from that. Shine out your amazing power to the world, light to the world. You're gonna get this. And then the CBA of success: conceive, believe, and achieve. And it's when you conceive what you're gonna be doing, then you believe in it. And, but the believing in it is just practice. You just practice and practice and practice till you know you, you're doing it, you're doing it well. And then you achieve everything you want. And if you don't achieve what you want, you need to start thinking, is this what I'm loving doing? And can I change the direction of it? I've changed direction a dozen times over the years and I'm still— I like particularly doing everything. I like doing palmistry readings, tarot readings, I like doing NLP, I like doing hypnosis, I like doing numerology. And I do numerology before every single session so I know what they're here to learn, what the purpose is this lifetime. So I'm quite happy being hokey as well as everything else. And in any of my work I bring spirit in. I always bring spirit. You have to have the God energy, the universal light, whatever you want to call it. You have to be able to connect with that energy to be able to manifest anything for them or for you. That's why you need to be meditating every single day. Cool. So I'm going to open it for a few minutes. I'm going to stop the share and I'm going to open it to people. And who's got questions? Anybody got questions? No, you just unmute yourself if you've got a question. I have a question. It's Alana. Where are you? I'm here. Oh, okay, cool. I can see you now. Okay. About the twirl and flip, I've had questions around why you need to lock it back in. Can you answer? There's no reason. Just an NLP break state. It's an NLP break state.

I like to lock it. Okay. That's what I've been saying.

Yeah. That's what I've been telling people. Because the thing is you put it back in the same place and you're replacing what was originally there. Yeah. Right. So I usually just say, click it, click your fingers, lock it into place. Okay. And because they, I guess there's concern. Well, there's been concern from some people. That they're putting the bad thing back in. But I always say like, you've changed the thing. It's a different shape. It's a different color. It's a different direction. Therefore you've actually, you've actually snipped off the neural pathway that led to that bad thing. Yeah. It's not even that you're disguising it or anything else. You're replacing it completely with something totally different. And one, a change in a small part of the system changes the whole system. That's all you need to remember. Any change in any system doesn't just change that little bit of the system, it changes the whole system. Okay, so if I, if I show you this book that I've got, um, and of course these are all the negative emotions that people have got. This is how many negative emotions there are. Amazing, huh? And, and I always show people this, by the way. Here's the how many positive emotions there are. That's it. That's why 80% of our thinking is negative. This book, is it the same book that I was holding 2 minutes ago? Yes or no? Absolutely not. Not. There is not one single atom of this is the same, because as I touched it, every single atom changed. Right? So literally we're changing the— we, we're, we're doing a submodality switch with the, uh, twirl and flip so that it actually changes our— we, we haven't— we no longer have access to it. Okay? So if you change the submodalities, you change the whole experience. Cool. So they usually start out with a black square or something like that, and they'll end up with a pink circle. And the pink circle is way preferable to a black square. And it really doesn't matter as long as it's different, it will work. Cool.

Hey, Dr. Yvonne Oswald Oswald Oswald, I had something interesting with the twirl or with the potato chip experience. When she did the second, you know, when she put it back in and took the next bite of potato chip, it tasted better to her.

Oh, interesting.

Okay. She didn't have a weight issue, but I thought I found that to be super interesting. I did have a question about the meetups or the women's group or something that, that your friend was doing in her basement. That, that concept of the person that had 3 people at once and then they, you took, it was like a sharing circle.

Yeah. And then what she said to people was, could you bring a friend next week, please? Well, she would do it once a month, I think it was. And she said, can you bring a friend next month? And then she would say, and we've got someone speaking. And once they got that, and then of course you send out the newsletter saying so-and-so is speaking. I used to do like a little hypnosis or a little meditation or just, you know, just an experiential. And she would find, um, and the thing is you want to be the speaker there. You really, you either want to be organizing it or be the speaker. If you're going as a participant, it's a whole different thing, you know. And quite often things like restaurants, they're not open in the mornings and you can actually rent them for a really really reasonable rate and put a little advert in their window kind of thing. A lady I knew in Toronto used to, oh gosh, there were about 150 people in the end every month and she would do business, business things, business dealings, networking, et cetera. There's a really amazing woman called Jennifer Beale in Toronto and she can get 1,000 people. In Liberty Grand when she puts an advert out saying networking, and she always has teachers, and the teachers are always selling something. Okay, so be aware. And it— I— what if you've got someone selling something, you want to take a portion of it, or, you know, if you don't want to, that's fine too. However, most people who bring in speakers, they usually want a portion of whatever they, they're selling there.

And what is this called again?

Does it have a name? Jennifer Beal.

Oh no, like the concept of the—

we could talk about it later. Oh, the, um, it's just a mastermind group or a networking meeting, or call it what you want. It's just, you can call it a sharing meeting is a bit kind of woohoo, so we want to stay in the business realm for the word— wording. Um, professional executive meetings or something like that. See, the thing is, if you go to, um, Chamber of Commerce and the, the other things. They're usually real estate agents and, uh, you know, insurance agents and people who are like that. They're not kind of our people, if you like, I guess. Uh, so, or you can do a life coach meeting, a monthly life coach meeting, and you're the chief life coach, and then, you know, get it, get someone who's a life coach to come and give hints on life coaching, very much like I did today. I'm happy to give all the information away for free. Cool. Cool. Thank you. Well, you are an amazing audience. I love you all. So, uh, I'm gonna get this edited down so it's a little less than 2 hours, hopefully. But we are going to stay on and, um, I've got Paul coming on to do the 4-step submodality switch. So if you're already a life coach, you already, you've already done the NLP, this is what we're doing next.