PE 151 4kUHD 16x9 V1How to Become Mentally Unstoppable

When you understand the neuroscience of how to become truly mentally unstoppable, you will be moving toward your goals at lightning speed. And in this video, that is exactly what I'm going to show you how to do. A couple weeks ago, I made a shift that has completely changed the game for me. I have been more motivated, more productive, more on top of everything that I have ever said I was going to do. Like, I am following through. I am waking up Earlier. I'm literally the most productive I have been in so long. I've also been feeling extremely confident, so lit up, so excited, so optimistic. There has been a shift, and in this video, I want to explain to you the exact process that I used to make that shift. And if you're new here, hi, I'm Emily, also known as Em on the Brain on other socials. I'm a neuroscientist, author, speaker, and coach to people in 55 countries all over the world. And I'm here to help you rewire your brain, level up, and live your best life. But before we dive into the framework, I have to tell you that I wrote a book called MindCraft: Rewire Your Brain, Level Up, and Manifest Your Dream Reality. And it is officially available for preorder right now. You can find the link to preorder it in the description below. And it would mean so much to me if you did preorder the book. Preorders are really important for the success of a book. And I feel like most people don't know that. I don't think I've ever preordered a book before, but I want to share with you and just on behalf of all authors tell you that pre-orders are really important. So if you feel called to pre-order my book today, I would be forever grateful. Thank you in advance. Let's dive into the framework for becoming mentally unstoppable. The first paradigm shift comes from a lesson taught by Coach Nick Saban, and he is probably the greatest college football coach of all time, just based on his record. I listened to a speech of his where he talked about mental toughness. And he was telling a story about buying a house in Florida. And in Florida they have hurricanes. And so he was putting in hurricane windows. He tells the story of asking the man, I believe, that was constructing or putting in the windows for his house. He says, how do you determine which windows are better? Like which hurricane windows are better to put into my house? And he said, well, we measure how much it takes To break them. And he says that this is the true measurement or definition of mental toughness by determining how much it takes to break you. And in his speech, he talks about, you know, if you play a down in football, 'cause he's a football coach, if you run a play, if it doesn't go your way or you get frustrated and upset, and then you allow that frustration to impact your performance on the next play, then you're not mentally tough because you're allowing external circumstances to determine your own personal performance in the present moment. And when I heard him tell this story, oh, immediately my mind went to, what does it take to break me? And I invite you to ask yourself this question as well. Like, what does it take to break you? If everyday inconveniences, if something stressful happens, if you get rejected, if the thing that you want doesn't go your way, if your flight gets delayed, you get bad news, whatever it is, You wake up on the wrong side of the bed. Maybe you just feel sad that day, or you feel down. If you allow these external circumstances to determine what you do in the present, then you just aren't as mentally tough as you might've thought you were. And when I made this connection for myself, immediately I gained this awareness of, I don't think I'm as mentally tough as I thought I was. And awareness is the first step. Okay? So this is not to say like, you're not mentally tough because I had this realization for myself. I was like, I'm not as mentally tough as I thought I was. And just like in AA, awareness is the first step. So ask yourself this, like whatever goals you have, whatever intentions you have, whatever you're moving toward, what are you not being mentally tough about? And this does not mean that you never get stressed or you never get discouraged or you never feel sad. It just means that you stop allowing these states to determine What you are capable of. If you allow a stressful day or something not going your way to stop you from showing up, then you are allowing an external circumstance to determine your ability to achieve your goals. And from that moment on, my brain was forever changed. My neurochemistry shifted. I was, and I'm telling you, awareness really is the first step because I was at the airport a couple days after this, and I was about to get on a 10-hour flight. Across the world. I got a text from somebody that I have been working with and they sent me all of this stuff that I needed to look over. It was a lot of stuff, like multiple hours worth of things. And old me before this awareness would've been like, you know, I could look over this later. Maybe I could do this on the fly, blah, blah, blah. And no, because my brain was primed for mental toughness, I was like, no, I'm gonna do this right now because I am mentally tough. And I did it. Right there and then. And I made the steps forward, and I decided what I was capable of rather than anything outside of me deciding for me. So my question to you is this: What are you going to stop allowing to get in your way? And I'm gonna break down more of the science of this kind of reframe throughout this video. So if you're needing more neuroscience, a little more biology to back this up, don't worry because it's coming. The next step also comes from Coach Saban's teachings, and it is so aligned with everything that I talk about everything that I work with, with my clients, the people that I coach, is so aligned with so many of the teachings of so many people. I actually read the book by Phil Jackson, who is one of the most legendary basketball coaches, and he talks about the same thing too. So, so many of the most successful people talk about this, and I just love when it comes up from other people, other greats, and I want to talk about it with you right now too. And it is to become process Oriented rather than outcome obsessed. Coach Saban's entire coaching philosophy, and in his documentary that came out recently, he talks about how he came up with this and his record before and after coming up with this. And it's night and day, like how powerful this process has been, how powerful this philosophy has been for his teams, is to focus on the process to the point where he literally says, do not look at that scoreboard. Play didn't go your way. Okay. Focus on the next play. So focus on the moment when in the game, but when you're not in the game, to focus on what you have control over. Something that he actually says is that in their practice facilities, they don't have any signs about winning. They have signs about being champions. And he talks about how the most important thing is to put in the work to become the best version of yourself. And this is so backed by neuroscience. It is so backed up by everything that I talk about too, with the neuroscience of identity shifting and how you don't get what you want in life. You get what you are. You get what you are a match for. Your identity determines your destiny in the brain. Like, your brain uses this model of who you are to predict your future and to filter your reality and so on. But also, they have shown in studies that when you are too focused on the outcome, even if the outcome is good, it can actually hurt your performance in the present moment. We can think about An easy example of this is like in basketball, let's say the game is on the line. It's like a championship game and somebody's standing there about to shoot the free throw to win the game. And he's so focused on like how big of a moment this is that he chokes and he misses the free throw. Why? Because when you are too focused on the outcome, you're too focused on something else outside of you. You literally override the muscle memory that would've helped him make that basket. Like, it makes sense. In order to perform your best, you have to be fully fully present because all of your power lies in the present moment. And so if you are too focused on something that's going to happen in the future, then all of your power is not in the present moment. Some of it is being kind of cut off because it's being used toward imagining the future, which can be helpful at times, right? Like if you are visualizing something that you want or like visualizing a goal, right? That is all great when it is in the time that it is meant to be in. But when you're actually trying to do the work, Being present is what matters. Also, neuroscience shows that focusing on the process, focusing on the actionable steps that you can take yourself increases perceived control. It increases how much control we believe we have over our destiny, how much control we believe we have over what we can do and what we can accomplish. And this is really important. Okay? How much control we believe we have over our ability to achieve our goal. Plays a huge role in our ability to achieve our goal. This is the difference between having a victim mindset and a creator mindset, a victor mindset. People that are victorious, people that are successful, people that create the lives that they want, they believe that they have the ability to create the lives they want. They believe that they have control over their ability to create the lives that they want. And people that do not create the lives that they want, they don't believe that they have the ability to create the life they want. They have reduced perceived control. They don't. Feel like they have a lot of control over outcomes or over what they can accomplish, right? And so believing that you have some sort of power is important. And focusing on the process is where all of your power lies, because you have complete control over how you show up every single day. You have control over whether or not you wake up tomorrow morning and exercise and move your body and complete that morning routine. That is within your control. And guess what? When you do that, now your brain is primed. Your energy will be set in the correct direction, and now you are going to be a completely different person as you move through the day. And guess what? Your brain is going to be able to filter for more opportunities. You're going to have more energy. You're going to be more focused. You're going to feel better, all because you decided to get up and do the thing that you know you need to do. If you would just drink your water, if you would just hydrate properly, get your electrolytes and drink enough water, then you would also feel better. Okay? Just 1 to 2% Body water loss has been linked to reduced cognitive abilities. Okay, hydration is so, so, so important. Like, I cannot stress to you that enough. Like, on days where I actually am really hitting my water goals and drinking a lot of water, I feel so much better, so much more energized. And it seems so simple, but so many people don't drink enough water and we're not hydrated enough. And it's as simple as something like that, like showing up and taking care of yourself and focusing on the process, right? Like Doing your morning routine, hydrating, fueling yourself properly. If you do those simple things, you will feel better. The problem is that a lot of people don't do those things. Another thing is not going on your phone first thing in the morning, not scrolling social media. That is something you have complete control over. Now, if it's a habit, get the phone outside of the room. There are so many things you can literally delete the social media app. Like, there are things that you can do to make sure you don't go on it, especially if it's an automated habit. Then Pay attention to where it's an automated habit because then you're not in full control and you need to create space that you don't go on it, right? But that is within your control to do. And if you were to do it, you'd be better off for it. All of these things are within your control. It's about being accountable for what, how you show up and what you do. Being obsessed with the process will also make achieving whatever you want to achieve inevitable. Like if you focused on the process and you became obsessed with doing the things that you know you need to do to achieve your goals, Achieving them becomes inevitable. Like, it will happen automatically. It will happen just by chance because you are so locked in to doing what you need to do and getting done what you need to get done. That's literally what happened to me. That's how I got to where I am. That's how I've unlocked all of these opportunities where I'm literally at Paris Hilton's house last week at an ADHD event, meeting Paris Hilton. Like, just these crazy opportunities are literally coming to me. People are inviting me, reaching out to me. Not because I'm over here like, I want this opportunity. No, I'm not even thinking about these opportunities, all of the like top podcasts that I've been invited on, like all the amazing experiences, getting invited to a concert in London, like all these amazing experiences that I'm, that I've been blessed to be able to go on are not because I'm sitting around thinking about, I wanna go and do this. No, I'm so focused on what I need to do and the work that I need to put in to be the best version of myself that I am literally being the best version of myself. So That's what happens, right? And then if literally, if it's not your goal that happens, it's something better. It's something even more aligned. It's something beyond what you could have even wished for or dreamed of. And then last but not least, being process-oriented helps you to master detachment. A lot of people get confused. I mean, detachment can be a very confusing subject because it's like, well, how do I detach from the outcome and not care about it? But then also, Still get the thing that I want because I do care about it. Like if it's money, for example, it's like, how do I manifest money, but then also detach from money and not want it? Like, that's confusing. Well, if you were to, okay, plant the seeds, have that clear goal. Yes, you want to manifest money. You want to make money, whatever it is. Um, okay, that goal is clear. Great. Now, what is the process to making money? Like, what is the process going to be? And then you become obsessed with the process and now you're not so tied to the outcome. So on a day where money doesn't come or you lose it or whatever happens, You're not getting upset or discouraged, and it's not disrupting your emotional state because you're too focused on the process, right? And you know, as long as you continue to focus on the process, then the outcome that you desire will eventually happen. And that's really what detachment is. It's not about not wanting the thing that you want anymore. It's about no longer being emotionally dependent on that thing happening in with the how and when that you want it to happen. So really the core message here is to stop obsessing over whether or not you're gonna win the game and begin to focus on playing the game the best that you can. And that leads me to the next step in this process, which is to do your best. You have to play the game the best that you can. I get it. It is so easy to half-ass things. It is so easy to just slack off and just barely get by and just do it just good enough. Like, I could do this podcast episodes video and just Just do it just good enough and just barely even try and just do it. Like I could do that, but that's not the type of person that I am because if I'm going to do something, I'm going to do it to the best of my ability. I'm going to make sure it's a topic I'm fired up about. I'm going to make sure that it's something that I care and am enthusiastic about. I'm going to make sure that I'm going to be able to provide value to anyone who is listening. I am going to do my best at whatever I do, no matter what it is that I'm doing. You will never discover what you are fully capable of If you're only giving half of what you've got. You don't wanna get to the end of your life and wonder what could have happened, what you could have achieved, where you could have gone if you actually would've given it your all. And I suspect that there are many people who are in that place, and that leads to kind of feeling stuck and feeling unhappy and feeling unfulfilled because truly giving something your all and doing your best, that's what makes you feel confident. That's what makes you feel motivated. That's what makes you feel like your best self. That's when you start to unlock confidence, when you actually try your best and you test your limits. When I was writing my book, this tested everything that I had. Okay. It was months of grinding and getting up early and staying up late and being completely locked in the zone, like flow state for hours every day. Like I was so locked in. I was so on my grind. And when I was done, I, the level of euphoria, like I can't even describe to you. I quite literally felt high for weeks. I'm not kidding you, like weeks to the point where I had a call with someone and they asked me if I was on psychedelics. Like they asked if I was on shrooms because they thought I was literally high because I was just like, life is so good. Like that's because I gave something my all and I gave everything I had. I poured my heart and soul. Like I know that there was nothing more I could have done to make this book better than it is because I gave it my all. So I don't have any regrets. And that is where I want you to be. That's where I want myself to be. Like, I want all of us to be in this place of not having any regrets because we gave everything we had. Life also matches your energy. The world matches your energy. So if you are giving half of what you've got, the world's going to give you half back. You can't expect amazing opportunities and all these great things happening if you are not also being amazing and being great. So go above and beyond. Do more than what you think that you can do. Do more than what's asked of you. Okay? Now, obviously don't make promises to people and don't commit to things that you, that you don't really wanna do and make commitments that you can't keep. This is about you and your goals. So do more than what you think you can do. Like, test your limits. Like, do your best. I'm telling you, it feels so good to do your best. At first you might be like, I don't know, that sounds like a lot of work, Em. And I feel like we have undergone this programming and conditioning recently in society where something being a lot of work is bad. Like, so many people nowadays, like, avoid working hard. Like, nobody wants to work hard anymore. It's like, oh, this is how I only have a 4-hour work week. Like, I only want— like, nobody wants to work hard anymore. But the truth is that the people who are getting up early and staying up late, and the people who are putting in the hours and, and are putting in that 1,000 hours to mastery, like, those are the people who are really successful in the world now. Like, those are the people who are really making it because not many people are doing it. So just know that if you decide to go all in and actually do it and actually put in the work and actually like fully send it, you will be in the minority, little tiny percentage of people. There's not much competition. There's really not because there's not many people that are willing to work extremely hard to create their dream life. The next step to becoming mentally unstoppable is accountability and doing the things that you say you're going to do. This ties in with the previous step as well of being focused on the process and being process-oriented. This will also help to boost your confidence too, okay? Actions speak so much louder than your words, especially in your brain, okay? Your brain does not just listen to your thoughts, it listens to who you are being. Remember, if somebody was your friend and they were always telling you they were going to do something, oh yeah, I'm gonna start this business, or, or literally, I'm gonna start going to the gym, and they never do it, well, what are you gonna believe? You're gonna believe their words? You're going to believe what they say the next time they tell you that? Or are you going to be like, oh yeah, well, I'll believe it when I see it. 'Cause I don't really believe that you, you, 'cause you never followed through. You trust their actions. You believe people's actions over their words, especially when their actions and words don't align. Your brain is the same way with you. If you are constantly saying, oh yeah, I'm going to get up early tomorrow morning, and then you snooze a whole bunch of times, what do you think your brain is going to believe? Like your brain gets to the point where it doesn't even believe you. And then what happens? You lose self-trust. Your brain doesn't trust you. And not trusting yourself, well, that's dysregulating to your nervous system, but it's also so detrimental to your confidence. So don't make promises to yourself that you can't keep, okay? Don't tell yourself you're gonna do all these crazy things and then set yourself up for failure, okay? This is not about making some insane plan, but do make promises that you can keep and do tell yourself that you are going to get up early and then actually get up early. Like, follow through on your word. Do the things that you say you're going to do. Teach your brain who you really are through your actions. One of the final steps I have for you in this process is to stop believing every thought that you have. You need to understand that a lot of your thoughts, a lot of the excuses that you make, a lot of the things that you say to yourself when you procrastinate or when you snooze or when you're laying in bed and you don't wanna get up, or when you need to do the thing that you need to do and you make up an excuse for why you can't do it, like, oh, my energy isn't right right now, or I don't feel my best, or I'm not, the lighting isn't good, I don't look good, or tomorrow will be better, the weather will be better tomorrow. Right. I need to learn one more thing. Whatever these, these thoughts are, these excuses that you have, you need to understand that these are the old version of you. This is your programming speaking. This isn't the version of you speaking who has the thing that you want. Now, I have a little bit of a phrase that I say when I notice myself Make excuses, or I notice myself wanting to procrastinate, I literally will say to myself, old programming. That's my old programming. For example, my old programming, whenever I would wanna create content, I would sometimes say to myself, oh, the lighting's not good, or I don't have the best energy right now, so I shouldn't film right now. 'Cause it's not gonna do well 'cause my energy isn't good. And then when I decided what I really wanted to do and I got focused on the process and I was like, this is the process and this is what I need to do to achieve my goal. In that process, I noticed that those excuses would come up. I literally wrote those excuses down in my Notes app in my phone. I wrote down the excuse that came up and next to it I put a dash and put old programming. I heard from someone else once on YouTube, actually, they said like they have a practice like this and they call it monkey mind. Like, that's my monkey mind. Whatever process you want to use, whatever label you want to use for it, start to observe where you are making excuses or not even just excuses. But also negative thoughts. Maybe you think negatively about yourself, or you could be a little self-detrimental and you're like, I'm not good enough. Or like, see, I told you you couldn't do it. Like, pause, write down, I'm not good enough, and then put a dash and put old programming. That is the old version of you that is no longer you anymore. It's not you. And that doesn't mean that you're gonna permanently change the fact that you're never gonna have that thought again. Okay? I'm not promising you that you might never have that thought again. You might. I did in my personal experience. But what you will have the next time you you have that thought is your brain will be primed and it'll immediately go, oh, that's your old programming. That's your monkey mind. That's the old version of you. And then over time, the immediate response when you have those thoughts is old programming. That's what started to happen to me. The next time I had the excuse of, oh, lighting isn't good, immediately my brain went old programming. And then guess what? In that moment, I have a choice. Do I wanna act on my old programming and let my old programming determine what I do? Or do I wanna do the thing? That I said I was going to do when I identified what the process was going to be to become successful and succeed. Now, there is another side to this step as well that I wanna talk about when it comes to not believing every thought you have. There's another thing that I ask myself when I'm having negative thoughts or when I'm upset or when I'm feeling down or I'm extra self-critical. I will check in with myself and I'll be like, are you tired or are you hungry? Might even sound silly to some of you, but But I find if I'm even like, if I'm being triggered by people, like even in my relationship or with my friends, or if I'm getting extra stressed about something, like I will ask like, have you slept really well in the previous few nights? And have you eaten well? And if my answer is no to both of those or either of those, then I know immediately that I cannot trust the thoughts or the ideas that I'm having. Because your executive control networks, your executive functioning, your prefrontal cortex, which is the boss, the CEO of your brain, your prefrontal cortex doesn't work as well When you are sleep deprived and not eating properly, not properly hydrated. Okay? So taking care of yourself is so important when it comes to this. Like, yes, being mentally tough is about mindset and it is about the way that we think, but also let's not forget that your brain doesn't operate alone in isolation. Your brain operates within a system that is connected to all of the areas of your body. So if you wanna be mentally tough, then taking care of yourself is really important. And so This is such a powerful practice. I really invite you to start doing this and checking in with yourself in this way. When you're having negative thoughts, when you're feeling sad, if you're feeling stressed, if you're feeling upset about someone or something, ask yourself if you've slept really well or if you've eaten really well recently. And if not, then simply just affirm to yourself, hey, like, that's why I'm having these thoughts. Like, hey, like, these thoughts, these ideas, they can't really be trusted right now because we're not really in the best physical state to be supporting the best mental state. And that can give you some of your power back. Taking care of yourself is so important. And I actually met with a few of the coaches that work inside of my program, MindCraft, my coaching program and community. And they asked me, because some of the people inside of MindCraft were asking them, if there is one thing that you want people that go through MindCraft to have by the end, if they don't get anything else out of this program, but just one thing, what would you want that one thing to be? And my answer was, I would want them to love themselves fully and completely. Because if you love yourself truly, everything else is just second nature. Like, if you truly love yourself, then discipline isn't hard because you wanna take care of yourself. You wanna show up for yourself. You wanna look out for future you. You wanna help yourself make your dreams come true. Fueling yourself isn't difficult because you want to take care of your body. You want to do like exercise and, and moving your body movement in whatever way works for you. And I, and I Not, not, not every routine, not every regimen looks the same for everyone. I know we're all in different places in our lives and physically and mentally, but taking care of yourself, it just becomes natural. But also like all of the achievement aside, life is just better. Like it feels better to live when we love ourselves. So that would be my one thing. That's what I told them. And that's what I would want for you too. And so Please, please take care of yourself. If there's nothing else that you do after watching this, please fuel yourself properly and take care of yourself and be your own safe haven. I've been in times in my own life where I wasn't sure if I was gonna be able to like pay rent or make a certain paycheck, or I didn't know what was, where I was gonna be next month. I didn't know what I was gonna be doing. Genuinely, just, I had literally no certainty at all. And no com— like no comfort outside of me. And in those moments, I was my own safe haven. Like I was my own comfort and I was, I provided those, that safety for myself, literally. Like I had affirmations and grounding that I was doing and I was literally like being my own safe haven through the love that I gave to myself and the support that I gave to myself. So there is nothing else that you do. Do that. If you wanna learn the entire neuroscience-backed process of reprogramming your subconscious mind, learning the neuroscience of manifestation, reality creation, and so on, come to my free masterclass. It is live. It is me coaching, teaching live. The energy is absolutely incredible. It's completely free. It is so fun. So RSVP to save your seat so you can make sure that you actually get a spot in the class. In the description, link in description. Is below. And also, I am going on tour. So if you want to come see me in person on tour and meet me and just level up and rewire your brain and have an amazing identity shift and energy shift, then RSVP for your city using the link below, because that is how we are going to decide where we're going on tour. Also, I'm going to be announcing tour locations extremely soon, and tickets are going to be going live extremely soon as well. So getting on that list is going to be really important to make sure that you're first to know when the tickets are live, because we're actually going to be sending tickets to people on the list first. So if you're not on the list, it could sell out and then you don't get a chance to buy a ticket. So get on the list and I will see you there in person. I'm very excited about it. Thank you so much for watching. Thank you for being here. I'm so grateful for you and I am sending you so much love. I believe in you. You got this. And I'll see you next time. Go have an absolutely amazing day. Bye.