3 Questions Every Parent Should Ask Their 20-Something!

Here are 3 questions that will stop your 20-something-year-old from shutting down. Now, these questions are really, really good when it comes to talking about careers. Careers can be very emotionally charged, both for the parent and the child, and these questions will help you do it in such a way that your kid will not feel so much pressure. So before I get into it, there are a few ground rules before you use any of these questions. The first one is you both have to be in a calm state. You can't be rushing from one place to another. There can't be stress. Usually on the weekends is probably a better time to have these types of conversations, but whenever you and your kid can be in a calm state, That's going to work better, and it may take some time to get there. You're not going to lead with these questions necessarily. What you're going to do is probably have a conversation about other things, non-threatening things, before you get to these questions. So that's one thing. The second thing is that you want to make sure the environment's right. So the two environments that I recommend for having these conversations is either in the car or during a walk. And the reason why those are two good environments is because you are both looking in the same direction, not at each other, and there's forward momentum. So now that we got those out of the way, here are the three questions. Question number one: What's weighing on your mind right now? The great part about this question is that they can take it in any direction. And you're really asking about their feelings. You're not asking about their career. And this replaces, "So what are you doing with your life?" This is a lot less threatening to do it this way. Question number 2: What would you do if you were not worried about what I think? This is a great question because this removes judgment and reveals their authentic desires. Most kids are so afraid of disappointing you. That is what their number one fear. So this removes that pressure. Question number 3: How can I support you without trying to fix it? This shows a genuine concern for them. It shows that you really want to help. You really want to be with them. Questions like this build trust and remove resistance. So those are the 3 questions. Something that I want you to notice with all of them is that they're all open-ended. We don't use any closed-ended questions, yes or no questions. We don't do that. And usually these questions start with "what." So you can use any of these 3 questions, or you can use your own, but just make sure that you start with the word "what," that you don't give advice. So which question resonated with you? Leave a note in the comments, and I'll see you in the next video. Thanks.