Jefferson Fisher's The Next Conversation teaches parents how to talk to adult kids who seem stuck. When arguments spiral, ask "how do you receive it?" When they raise their voice, stay calm and say "I don't respond to that volume." When they're snippy, repeat it back and ask if they meant it that way.
If you're the parent of a young adult in their 20s and they are stuck and not making progress, this is the book that I highly, highly recommend that you get. It's called The Next Conversation by Jefferson Fisher, and there are so many nuggets in this book. I can't go into all of them, but let me just give you a few of examples. The first example is he talks about arguments. And he says no one ever wins an argument. And the reason no one ever wins an argument is because an argument is like a knot. Some person is pulling this way and another person is pulling the other way, and it's just tightening the knot. So what you have to do is you have to unravel that knot, and you have to know the source of that. So how do you do that? You do that by understanding that what you're sending is not what they're receiving. Let me say that again. What you're sending is not what they are receiving. So knowing that, take a pause and say in a calm voice, saying, "When I say that, how do you receive it?" And then take another pause and let them respond. It's a very powerful method. The second thing that you can do, especially if they're starting to yell at you a lot, is again, you want to have that calm presence. And in a calm voice, take a— well, first do the pause, and then you say, "I don't respond to that volume." Your calmness is power. And I actually teach you how to do that in my course called Launch Strong. And it's a really effective mechanism because you're showing restraint where they're not. They're losing control and you're showing control. And that tips the balance in your favor. The third thing is if they're being snippy with you, Or if they're being condescending to you, you can simply, again, take a pause, repeat what they said to you, and then say, "Did you mean for that to sound snippy?" "Did you mean for that to sound short?" "Did you mean for that to sound condescending?" See, again, you're getting into the root of what's going on because what they're sending is not what you're receiving. It's the same thing. So these are just a few of the tips that he has in this book. I highly recommend it again. So I'd love to know what you think of this video. So put a comment down below and I'll see you in the next video. Thanks.
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