In this solo coaching video, the presenter addresses parents who feel like they have failed because their young adult children are struggling. She describes how pervasive negative self‑talk—thoughts of personal failure and blame—can dominate a parent’s day, affecting interactions at work, home, and with friends. She explains that dwelling on past “what‑ifs” is unproductive and outlines a solution: parents must do inner work to become calm, confident, and capable of asking empowering questions. The speaker’s coaching method involves asking reflective questions rather than giving advice, helping parents uncover underlying issues and shift their mindset. She acknowledges the difficulty of this “scary” work, likening it to a Halloween theme, and urges viewers to consider whether they are showing up as their best selves. The video ends with a call to action for viewers to comment on their negative self‑talk and commit to showing up more positively for their young adult children.
Chapters
You failed as a parent, or at least that's what it feels like, right? When your young adult is struggling, the undercurrent of your thoughts is, "I'm a failure as a parent. I did something wrong. I screwed them up," or, "What's wrong with them? Where did they go wrong?" So you have all this negative self-talk in your head and you can't get it out. It's the undercurrent of your day, no matter what you're doing, whether you're at your job, you're making dinner, you're buying groceries. It's like all you can do is worry about your young adult. And the challenge is that when you go out and you talk to family and friends and they're like, "Oh, how are the kids doing?" And you're like, "Ugh." You feel deflated. And when you tell them that your young adult is struggling, you feel like a failure. And that is not at all productive. And we know that. We know that going back into the past and being like, "Woulda, shoulda, coulda," doesn't help anything. But how do we solve the problem of that negative self-talk in your head? How do we get to the root of that? Spoiler alert: this is what I do. This is what I help you with. This is the work that is so important to do because you are the environment. You are the soil that your kid's going to grow in. And you need to show up as your best self. You need to be confident. You need to be calm. You need to ask empowering questions. That's the kind of parent that they need right now. And you have to make sure that you show up like that. And again, that's exactly what I do in coaching is I take parents and I find out what's actually going on beneath the surface. And I'm not the one making the connections. I'm not giving you any advice whatsoever. I'm just asking you questions so that you can reflect. So I apologize for the dark tone of this video, but I think it's something important to address. And it kind of fits with, you know, Halloween and it's pretty scary. But this is the scary work that you have to do. You have to work on yourself for them to grow. And you have to be brave enough to do it. So my question for you, and leave it in the comments, is are you showing up as your best self right now? Don't worry about the past. Are you showing up as your best self today? For your young adult? And if you're not, what is some of the negative self-talk that you have in your head about them, about yourself? So post a comment and I'll see you in the next video. Thanks.
