In this advice video, the speaker presents a simple three‑part framework—"helped, heard, or hugged"—to guide parents in responding to their young adult children. He explains that parents often default to a "fix‑it" mode, immediately offering solutions, but many times the child merely needs to be listened to or receive emotional encouragement, which he calls a non‑physical "hug." The speaker advises parents to pause and ask their child directly which of the three they need at the moment, and to avoid turning the conversation into a story about their own experiences. By keeping this mindset, parents can ensure their children feel seen, heard, and supported. The video ends with a call for viewers to share their thoughts in the comments.
Chapters
The most interesting phrase that I have heard in the last several months is that people want to be helped, heard, or hugged. Helped, heard, or hugged. And I think that really applies, especially when we're talking about our young adults. As parents, we immediately go into fix-it mode. We immediately go into, "How can I help you? What can I do for you?" 'Let me solve your problem right now.' And we don't always understand that sometimes they just need to be heard, and sometimes they need to be hugged. And a hug doesn't necessarily have to be a physical hug. It can be encouragement. 'I'm proud of you. Good job. You're on the right path. I believe in you.' Anything like that. But our job as parents is to make sure that we know when we're having a conversation with our children what they're asking for. And sometimes we may be confused. We may not know what they want. So in those cases, I would say, just ask them. Just say, "Hey, do you want to be helped right now? Do you want to be heard? Do you want to be hugged?" or any combination thereof. And I think that goes a long way because we don't want to make it about ourselves. We don't want to make it about our experience. We want to make sure that they feel seen and heard. And I think just keeping that thought in the back of your mind is really helpful as you approach conversations with your young adult. So, Let me know what you think. Do you think this, um, will help you? Do you think this phrase will help you in helping your young adult? Let me know in the comments and I'll see you in the next video. Thanks.
