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Evan Sanchez recommends FBI negotiator Chris Voss's tactics for talking to adult kids. One trick: ask questions so they answer no, like "Would now be a bad time to talk?" A no feels like freedom; a yes feels like a trap.
Evan Sanchez recommends FBI negotiator Chris Voss's tactics for talking to adult kids. One trick: ask questions so they answer no, like "Would now be a bad time to talk?" A no feels like freedom; a yes feels like a trap.
If there was just one book that I would recommend to every single parent who has an adult child who's struggling to find their path, it's this one. It's Chris Voss's Never Split the Difference. Now, for those of you who don't know who Chris Voss is, he was one of the world-renowned hostage negotiators for the FBI. So now you're asking yourself, hey Evan, why would you recommend a book about hostage negotiation for somebody who's parenting an adult child? The answer is simple. The tactics are actually the same. And while I can't give you the whole book here, I can give you one important tip that will really help. The one important tip is this: always phrase the question so the answer is no. Because when people say no, they feel like they have wiggle room. If you say yes to something, you feel like you're all in, 100% committed, you gotta do it. So instead of asking, would now be a good time to talk? Say instead, "Would now be a bad time to talk." See the difference there? So that's just one of the tips. He has so many more tips that will help you parenting an adult child. So that's the book I would highly recommend for everyone who has an adult child who's struggling. Thanks for watching, and I'll see you in the next video.
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