Your Advice Is Making It Worse (Here's the Fix) - Part 3 #YoungAdults

So welcome to part 3 of this video series. In the last video, we talked about the 3 most common parenting mistakes that everybody makes when talking to their adult child. So in today's video, we're going to talk about what to do instead and how to talk to them in such a way that they actually listen. So the secret of getting through to your young adult is to not give advice. Let me show you two examples. One is how not to do it. The second one is how to talk to them properly. So here's the wrong way to do it. The wrong way to do it is to say, well, back in my day I just networked and I found a job so easily. But here's what they're thinking. They're thinking, they just don't get it. So here's how to do it properly. They say, "I just can't get a job." What you want to use is tactical empathy. You can say, "That sounds really frustrating. I'm so sorry to hear that. What do you think would help?" And see the beauty of using a "what" question right there? Is that opens them up to reflection. They have to think, what would actually help? And when they come up with an idea, it will be their idea, and they will have buy-in. And when they have buy-in, they are more likely to act. So I hope these two examples made sense, both of what not to do and what to do. And the key point really is that questions build ownership and advice builds resistance. So if you can remember those two things, that really goes a long way to empowering them. Just keep that in mind. In the next video, we're going to dive into what's really happening when your adult child seems to be lazy. So stay tuned and I'll see you in the next video.