Can't get over your divorce? WATCH THIS!

On this specific video, I'm going to teach you the very first thing that you need to completely get over this mess that you're going through right now. And it's the thing that therapists aren't sharing with you. Hey, my name is Frank Ortega. I'm a divorce recovery coach, and I help people get over their divorce in 90 days or less. And now, I know that that sounds a little unrealistic, but there's a lot of testimonials to prove it. So just check out my Instagram or this YouTube channel. You'll see testimonials. And it can happen, because healing doesn't have to take time. And so today on this video, we. We're going to cover the very first thing that you need if you're going to have any chance at getting completely over this divorce. Okay? You've got to have a delusional belief that you can actually do this. I'm talking about. You've got to have this delusional belief within yourself that you can overcome anything that comes at you in life. You've got to have this delusional belief that you're not just a conqueror, that you are what the Bible says, which is more than a conqueror. You've got to be able to believe that you are the head and not the tail. You've got to be able to believe that regardless of what cards are dealt to you in your life, you are able to play them in a way that will get you a win. Here's what most people never understand, and this is what I really want to help us get tonight. Most people never understand that it doesn't really have much to do with their circumstances, but it has everything to do with how we show up in those circumstances. I know for my situation, right, just being vulnerable with you guys. Real quickly, when I went through my divorce, I did not have this belief. And it was the moment that I had this belief that everything changed. But at first, you know what I really believed? I believed that I wasn't good enough, man. That's what I was believing. I believed that I was a failure because my marriage had just failed and fallen apart. And so what ended up happening, I believed that I was a failure. And, dude, it got really bad, man. Next, you know, I became a failure with my own weight, my own physique. Next thing you know, I became a failure with my trucking business, and I ended up losing that business. Just flat out went out of business. I went from having a good amount of money to. To having less than $500 in my bank account. And yet I still invested in getting help because that's how serious I was. But I had this belief that I was a failure. So guess what ended up happening? I started creating failure situations in situations where I would just fail and I would self sabotage all the situations in my life. Didn't matter what the opportunity was. I was literally self sabotaging it. Why? Because deep down inside I had this belief that I was a failure. Failure. And what started to turn my life around, it was this delusional belief that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. And when I say delusional, I really do mean delusional. Like, there's a lot of Christians who use that, right? That Bible verse. They got it tattooed on them or they got it on their bio. They're like, I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. But think about what that really means. I can do all things through Christ. That means, oh, becoming the first billionaire in my family, I can do that through Christ. That means, oh, even though I don't know what the heck is going to happen in my future with this divorce, I can get through this with Christ and not just barely scrape by. I can be happy and joyful and fulfilled through the whole process. Which you can. It's insanely possible. Again, go see all the testimonials that I have, right? So that statement, statement of I can do all things through Christ is this delusional belief that if you talk to a normal, a normal person, they're going to sit there and be like, dude, this dude's crazy. No, you can't, you can't do anything. You can't do anything that you set your mind to. I might not be able to do anything I set my mind to, but I can do anything I set my mind to through Christ because that's what's promised to me. And so that's why I say it's a delusional belief. Because to normal people it's delusional. But to individuals like you and me, that's not delusional. That's just who we are now, right? And so this video is for you. If you aren't in that place or if you feel like that is who I used to be, man. And I miss being that person. This works for both. Whether you're in the depressed state where I was, where I couldn't get out of bed, I just kept watching YouTube videos. I literally wouldn't even get up and, and brush my teeth. I'd wake up and My light, my light bill or whatever was completely cut off. So I didn't have any electricity in the home. Whether that's you or whether you're the fast forwarded version of me where it's like, okay, well, now I can pay my bills, but now I'm really involved in church. And now I'm going to like, church groups and I'm going to men's groups. But for some reason I still kind of feel lost. And I feel like I'm just living my second best life, not the life that God actually planned for me. It'll work for that version too, because both of those versions are now dead. And now what's alive is this version of me who says I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me. I can do anything, I can accomplish anything, I can overcome. Not just get through, not just crawl through a situation, but I can overcome anything that comes at me. That's who stands with you right now in this moment, because it's the truth. So I'm not asking you to believe a lie. I'm asking you to believe a truth that feels like a lie right now. So then how do we create this delusional belief? And why is that so important? It's because belief is what controls every single human out there. Why do most people that get divorced, and when I say most, I'm talking about like an extremely high percentage. Why do they never remarry or their second marriage ends in divorce again, you know why? It's because they have this belief in them that, well, this life just isn't going to be as good as it could have been because I've already been through divorce. I have stains, I am dirty, I am broken. I already failed once. What if this person hurts me again? All of these thoughts become beliefs and then they determine the way that that person shows up. So what ends up happening is most people. Most people. And maybe, maybe if you've been through a divorce for a while, and you've been divorced for a while, maybe you're noticing this even in your life in the dating scene, right, where you're like, oh man, dude, I don't want to get hurt. So I'm not going to be all in. I'm going to be mostly in. But I'm still going to, like, keep a little bit of a guard up, right? Maybe that's you right now. Well, if you're keeping a little bit of a guard up, let me just ask you this. If you were dating an individual who wouldn't open up completely to you and who was always on guard and who was always a little, like, antsy about you and just like, well, I can't really tell you exactly how I feel because what if you leave? I can't really give all my life to you because what if you leave? If they were always playing like, one foot in, one foot out, would you stay with them? No. No, you wouldn't stay with him. But then we have this idea that people should just stay with us. And we don't understand why they keep leaving. It's because we're operating out of this deep belief that I'm not good enough. I failed, I'm broken. They're gonna hurt me again. Maybe this just isn't for me. Maybe life isn't going to get better. And so we carry this beliefs and our belief system determines our outcomes. This is why the Bible is so clear. And it says, says that as a man thinketh and believeth in his heart, so he shall be. And then there's another verse that says to guard your heart with all your might because it will determine the course of your life. Scientists, this is what they say. They say that a thought that connects to an emotion enters your body and it becomes a belief. In other words, it enters your heart. Science is saying that right now. So all it's doing is saying what the Bible said. You know, when the Bible said to guard your heart, he wasn't saying, hey, just guard yourself from people and keep people away from you. People can't really hurt you as much as you think they can. You know who hurts you more? You. Your own thoughts. You know who empowers you more? You. Your own thoughts. This is why King David would speak courage into himself. He'd say, why so downcastle your own, my soul. Put your trust in him. He would talk to himself. Why? Because we listen to our voice more than we listen to anybody else's voice. So when the Bible is saying to guard your heart, what's the doorway to the heart? It is our thoughts. It is our thoughts. What we're always thinking. So if you're always thinking, you're not good enough, boom, it goes into your heart. If you're always thinking that you're broken, boom, it goes into your heart. If you're always thinking, there's no way that I can get through this. Boom, it drops into your heart. That's where we begin to have a belief problem. If we do not change that, we will never overcome this. So the number one thing that you need before you can even think about getting through this divorce is. You've got to have a delusional mindset that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. That I am not just an overcomer or a conqueror. I am more than. Than a conqueror. That I am not the tail, I am the head. That I am not beneath the enemy, but my foot is on the enemy. And any room that I walk into is a room that God has given to me. And that every single situation that I'm going through, it's not here to determine how I feel. I'm here to determine how God's going to use that situation. I posted this on my Instagram. It was on my story. This is really, really good post. Not just because I posted it, it's just a really good post. It says if we are always making decisions based off of our current circumstances, our circumstances will never change. You know what happened whenever I was in that mobile home, depressed, getting overweight, losing all my money, watching nothing but YouTube videos, Loki. I was watching the King of DIY shout out Joey. Which was cool because like last year he came and he spoke. He's got like a couple million followers, right? And subscribers. He came and he spoke into our community because he's been through a divorce. So it's like a full circle moment, right, that I got to tell him what I was experiencing and all that jazz. So I say that to say that if we are always making decisions based off of our current circumstances, our circumstances will never change. What does this mean? This means that the Frank Ortega that was making decisions in that bed because of his circumstances continue to create worse circumstances. You know, when my circumstances started to change, it's when I no longer made decisions based off of where am I? I started making decisions based off of where I want to be. And maybe you feel like you're in the same place right now. I've been doing nothing but making decisions based off of where I am. Maybe you wanted to hire a coach, Maybe you wanted to hire me and you made a decision based off of where you're at. You said, no, I'm in a place where I can't really spend that money. So you don't spend that money. You don't invest that money on yourself, and then boom, your circumstances don't change. The moment everything changed for me was when I had less than $500 in my bank account. I'm not saying this so that you can pay me, you know, $550 for a one on one. That's not what I'm saying whatsoever. I'm saying that to let you into where I was and what created my breakthrough, because I just want to be honest with you so that you can get the same breakthrough that all these other individuals are getting. The moment that everything changed was when I started making decisions based off of where I wanted to be, not based off of where I was. It's when I had less than $500. I think it was like $386 in my bank account. And then I paid for BetterHelp, which was like $200 and something dollars. So. So you can do the math. I was left with, like, nothing better. Help didn't really help. Just going to be honest with you, there was nobody that could really help me. They just wanted to talk about my childhood trauma. And I was like, dude, forget my childhood trauma. I'm trying to deal with this right now. We can get to that later, right? So ended up canceling after 30 days. But what I noticed was as soon as I said, no, no, no, I want to get better. And I made a move that showed God, the universe, whatever it is that you want to believe, and showed it that I'm doing something to get better. I made based off of where I wanted to be, that next week, I ended up making, like $1,500. And boom, started to change my circumstance around. The next decisions that I started making was I stopped thinking about my situation as a whole. Just like a negative situation. I stopped seeing it as what I thought it was. I stopped seeing it as a prison sentence, as a death sentence, and I chose to see it as what I wanted to see it as. That was another decision that I made. I stopped making decisions based off of my current circumstances, and I made my decisions of what thoughts I was going to entertain on where I wanted to be. I wanted to be healed. I wanted to be confident. I wanted to be in shape. I wanted to be successful. I wanted to be a spiritual leader. I wanted to be emotionally intelligent. I wanted to be strong. I wanted to feel deep joy and deep love again. So I started thinking based off of where I want to be. So if you do not feel like you are enough, can we at least first just admit that that's where you want to be? You want to be in a place where you've got that same delusional belief that I can do anything, and I'm not just going to crawl through it. I'm going to thrive through it. How about we just start there? So now comes the real question, because all these YouTubers, right, and coaches and things like that make all these videos and they really motivate you, they really inspire you. But if you stayed here to the very end, I'm gonna give you some homework to do so that you can actually experience a tangible result. Okay? How do you create a belief? A belief is created by the thoughts that you consistently entertain in your head. The more that you think about them, the more that you feel an emotional while you or an emotion while you think about them, the more it starts to become a belief of who you really are. So I'm going to teach you how to do that right now in a very practical way. I want you to send me a message on Instagram or on my private coaching community if you do this so I can like really hear what your experience was. Number one. This is what I want you to do. I want you to close your eyes. I want you to take about 10 breaths. Just 6 sec. A 3 second inhale and then a 6 second exhale. Okay? I know most dudes get weird about breath, but hey, just freaking do it. You've tried everything else, nothing's working. Stop thinking you know all the answers and just freaking do the breath work, okay? It's going to make you feel incredible. You're going to feel really grounded and very peaceful. Step two. Now what I want you to do is I want you to, in that state of just being grounded and present, I want you to remember, remember a moment in your life where you felt extremely proud of yourself because you did something that in that moment felt like it was impossible. That's what I want you to do. Just remember it. And when you remember that moment, I just want you to relive it. For example, I remember the moment when me and my brother played in an All Star game. And it's like everybody there, like knew who we were. We didn't had no idea who these people were. And it was like me and my brother going head to head up against each other, writing all this jazz and we both ended up winning the MVP award for that game. It was such a wild experience. It was my brother's senior year and I was a junior. I just remember being like, dude, it's gonna be impossible to like. My brother has my coach and he's on their team. And my brother's like a sick shooter. He's the best shooter in the league. There's no way. Felt like an impossible task, but then we did it. And I just remember the feelings that I had when I walked up to receive that. That was one of my moments. You see how it doesn't have to be crazy, spiritual, or weird. It can just be something that you're genuinely proud of yourself that you did, that you thought you wouldn't be able to do. So here's what I want you to do. I want you to revisit three of those moments three times a day. Revisit three of those moments three times a day. And if you can literally communicate those moments to somebody else, just call and be like, hey, bro, you remember when da da, da, da da, man, I thought that I was never going to be able to do it, but then I did. And I just remember feeling boom, boom, boom. Go back down memory lane a little bit. There's. Right now you're probably in a place where you're looking for strength. Strength is in you. You're looking for encouragement. That's why you're on here on this video, right? You're searching for encouragement. Encouragement is in you. This is why the Bible said to take heart, for I have overcome the world. He said take it. He never said to wait for it to be given to you, which means that, that it's an action that we can take. So take heart, take courage, take strength, take belief, take whatever you want to take. Remember three impossible moments in your life that you thought were impossible, but then you made them happen and how you felt afterwards. And I'm telling you, the more that you practice this, do three of those three times a day, I promise you, in one week, you, you're going to start feeling differently. You're going to go from a victim mindset to a Victor mindset. And that's literally the very first thing that you need to do to be able to get over this divorce. And if you want the rest, I'm doing a series right now. It's going to be five days to get over your ex. So if you want to go on that challenge with me, comment down below, say I'm in. Okay. If you want to do that five day challenge to get completely over your ex, comment down below and say I'm in. This is the first video that I'm going to release and it's going to be a series of five. On the next five, we're going to dive deep into what's actually creating all of your suffering and how we can uproot those things so that you can create your own closure. You can learn how to practically let go. You can stop wanting your ex. Right? And you can stop all of your suffering. And I'm going to teach you how to do that in these next videos. So I hope you enjoyed this. Subscribe to the channel and I'll see you on the next video.