Did my ex have a midlife crisis? Divorce Recovery Coaching

Hey, if you're watching this video, it's probably because you believe that your ex left due to a midlife crisis. More than likely it's because now they're not acting the way they used to. They're a completely different person, and you don't even recognize them anymore. And that's what's creating these thoughts. So I want to talk about how you can potentially avoid being with someone that ends up having a midlife crisis and what causes it. Today, I want about midlife crisis. Okay, what causes it and how can we avoid it? Especially if you've gone through a divorce or a really bad breakup. What can you do to almost guarantee that you will not end up with somebody that does the exact same thing again? Now, remember, I say almost guarantee because we can't control what another human does, but we can have some sort of quality control in place. So a midlife crisis really begins, if we think about it, because the person is not fulfilled, filled with where they're at right now. Maybe they woke up one day, and maybe this has happened to you, where you wake up one day and you just ask yourself the question of, how did I get here? How did I end up here? Why am I doing what I'm doing? Right? And when that stuff begins to come, that's an alarm that there is a lack of fulfillment in our lives. Now, I heard a quote once, and it was extremely powerful, and it said this. Everybody ends up somewhere, but very few people end up there on purpose. And I just want you to imagine your life without a GPS system and say. You say, hey, I want to go to Walmart. But you never look up how to get there, and you don't know how to get there. You just kind of take a chance and start driving. More than likely, you're going to end up in a place where you're like, how did I end up here? That's what's happening right now in our lives. And so how can we avoid that? Well, the way that you avoid it and the way that you can almost guarantee that you will create a life where you're experiencing fulfillment 100% of the time and you're actually excited about it. Think about it. If your ex or if you would have been super excited about life and so happy and fulfilled with where you were at, you might not have experienced what you're going through, and they might not have done what they did and had that personal or midlife crisis. The way you do that is with a vision. You have to know where you want to go. Where you want to be, what your family's going to look like, what you're going to stand for. And once you have that vision, you utilize it as a filter. Not just for relationships, but also for career opportunities. So for example, my vision is very clear for my family. I want a family where we are a family that we put God first, we serve people and we create a safe space for each other. Now, if an opportunity in a career comes my way and it does not align with my vision and I don't entertain it, why? Because it's not going to get me to where I want to be. And that is what I can do. Quality control to try and guarantee that I will always be fulfilled by my life. Right. So you can do this exact same thing. And it's something to be aware of. If you create a vision, the next time that you go on a date, you don't have to be scared that this person is going to end up doing the same thing to you. Why? Because you can become aware. And is this a person with vision? Do they know where they want to be and are they doing and taking steps to get there? If they are, more than likely they are self guaranteeing their own fulfillment, which is exactly where you want to be at. You never want to be in a position where you have to be the fulfillment to that person or they have to be the fulfillment to you. Because that is where we create codependency. So you want to make sure that you're meeting someone that that's creating and consistently pursuing their own fulfillment. And if they do that, more than likely they're not going to have a midlife crisis. Okay. Same thing goes for you. If you know where you're going and how to get there, and you're choosing things that only align with your vision, you're guaranteeing quality control so that whenever you get to a place in life in 10 years, you're actually happy that you got there. And you don't just wake up one day asking, how did I get here? Because that's a scary place to be in. So you want to take control of your life again, when you go on dates, the exact same thing. Notice if the person has a vision for their life and if they're taking steps to get there. Also notice if they align with your vision because they could be extremely caring, they could be selfless, they could be polite, Right? But if they don't align with your vision, it's not going to work out. And that's where you have the choice to say, hey, I might still continue to hang out with this person. I but I'm not going to commit to them because our visions are in aligned and the Bible talks about this. It says that a house divided amongst itself cannot stand. Which to me shows us that if a husband and a woman have separate visions, the house is not going to stand. And maybe that's why you're in the position that you're in right now. Because we've committed without knowing this, right? And I don't want you to live in shame of ah, I can't believe I did that and have all this regret. No, no, no, you didn't know then, but now you do. And now you have some actionable steps to be able to get you to where you want to be and to make a shift in your life. So I don't want you to have regret. I don't want you to be held down with shame because you didn't do that. Instead, no, no, no, say hey, I just didn't know that then, but I know that now. And I'm telling you, if you begin to do this, you'll be able to start filtering out so many things in your life that don't belong in your life. So, so that you have as much control possible to get to where you want to be. But you can't get to where you want to be unless you know where you want to be. It's the same thing in a person. You want to have a vision for the person that you want to be with. That way you have something that you're actually aiming for and you have some sort of quality control when you're out on these dates. Because if you don't know what you want, you'll settle for what's available. So stop settling for what's available. Identify what you want and then filter it through that. That's how you're going to take control back in your lives. And I promise you, if you begin to do these things, your self esteem and your confidence, it's going to begin to skyrocket fast. Because that is where self esteem and confidence comes from. It's from the illusion of control. So if you feel like you've got some control of checking who you're going to end up with of checking where your life is going to be in five years, right? If you have some sort of illusion of control, your confidence will come back pretty darn fast. So if this video helped you, I want you to go ahead and leave a like on this video, share it with somebody that needs it. Also leave me a comment down below. If this is something that you are going to start implementing, and maybe you noticed how the the reality of not implementing this very simple tool might have cost you a little bit, and now you're not going to allow it to cost you anymore. I want to hear from you. I'm very active in my comments. I'm very active on Instagram. And so I want you to subscribe to this channel if you're going through a divorce or a heartbreak and you just really need some help navigating through it, because that's what this channel is all about. I'm going to be uploading three videos every single week, and I want to be here to help you as much as I possibly can. So I hope you subscribe and I hope I see you on the next video. God bless you.