Healing from divorce - Does divorce coaching work?

Hey, this is Coach Frank and you're about to watch an interview with one of my 1% women. Her name is Leti and she recovered from her divorce in 30 days. Now I know that sounds like whatever, that's just a bunch of bs, but it's not, it's not the only person that's done that when they've worked with me. I have multiple, multiple people. I'm gonna release another video of another 30 day testimonial also here in the next two weeks and so make sure that you subscribe and you check that story out. But I want to share her story because she did much more than just recover from a divorce. She became an incredible mom, which she already has been. But she developed new skills that she wanted to use as a mom and she opened her kids eyes to something new and started taking a risk. And more than that, she started being intentional about designing the life that she wanted. So you're going to hear in her testimony how she started just kind of changing her environment. The people around her took back control of her life and now she's genuinely feeling, feels like she's herself, her genuine, authentic, happy self for the first time in Lord knows how long. And so I really hope this story blesses you. So check it out. Obviously Leti, you're one of my clients, if I'm being honest, you were probably my third or fourth female client because I only been working specifically with men. But it was just so cool because my other client, we worked together for 30 days and she was struggling with getting over a divorce for two years. Um, and, and then after those 30 days she was, she was good.

Yeah.

And she like developed as a mom and so many different things. Um, and so I kind of want to hear from you because we've been working together now, it's been for 30, it's been longer than 30 days now. But we met for 30 days and we started meeting in the books. But I want to hear because you had some huge, huge breakthroughs. So can you walk me through like what that, what that was in your life specifically?

Yeah, so I think my main thing was I was just getting too attached to what he was saying. So like for example, like him moving an hour away, like that was something that I like before we talked and it was, I think the console.

Talk.

Before that, like I just could not wrap my head around the idea if of him living so far like one, because I, like, I emotionally like I wanted to still be close to him and then do like the kids, you know, like I Couldn't understand, like, why he was moving so far. So because, like, because of that, I was putting so many things in my head, like, all these things. Thoughts. Like, well, it's because of this he has somebody else. Like, he just doesn't want to be around us.

You're just creating a story, right?

It was so many different, like, scenarios, so many different stories in my head that I was just like, that's what made me suffer the most. Like, I. Like, I would just, like, cry and cry and cry. And, like, you know, when we had our first talk, it was so, like. Like, you were just straightforward. You were like, do you have facts? And I was like, no. From that moment, I was like, oh, yeah, I need this man in my life. Like, he's gonna, like, straight up and not what I want to hear. Because my friends and my family were, like, telling me stuff that I wanted to hear. And it's like when we had that first talk, like, you being so straightforward, like, and, like, you know, explaining to me, like, the, you know, the thoughts and, like, you know, change the story. All that good stuff, like. Like, from that first. Like, that first meeting we had, like, that same day, I was like, oh, like, I'm good. Like, that's not even, like, real. Like, I'm putting all these things in my head, and there's no facts for that, for the stuff that I'm putting in my head. And I'm just, like, suffering because I want to suffer, like, for me, you know, putting these things in my head. And, like, from that. From that call, it's just like, oh, yeah, like, I need this man in my life.

I love that. I love that. So. And something that I love so much about you specifically and, like, working with you is that you went, like, above and beyond. So we were working on getting over, like, the divorce, heartbreak, obviously, which. Which we did, you know, and now we're working on other things, which is kind of cool. But you took it to another level, you said. Because I remember talking to you specific, and I tell all my clients, like, you. You have to design. If you don't design your life, you're going to end up somewhere where you don't want to be. But designing it takes intention, and it takes going towards the thing that scares you. There was one call that we had where you started, like, telling me that you had. You had to cut out some friends, that, oh, yeah, life for a minute, and you were like. But I finally realized, like, this is not where I want to go. This is not where I'm At. And I, I just remember being like, dude, this. This girl has gone full fledged. Like, not just even about the divorce, but her life in general. What all of this is about is getting control of your life. So walk me through that and walk anyone who's watching.

Yeah. So as soon as I started to, like, like to start feeling better and like, you know, start actually feeling happy, I was like, okay, now I need to look at who I'm surrounding myself with, right? Because I don't drink. You know, I, you know, my diet is different than most people. And it's like, okay, who do I want to surround myself with? Not necessarily. Not surround myself. That people, you know, that don't drink or whatnot, but, like, what people are going to be okay with me not drinking and without them, like, peer pressuring me to, like, drink. Oh, just one drink. Like, just one sip, you know. And so there was like this one specific friend that was just like, was very toxic, you know, her using me and like, me not even realizing it. But once I started to realize, like, the pattern with like, my ex husband and everything, then I started to notice it with, like, this friend. And I was like, wait, like, she's using me. Like, you know, and that wasn't something that I would have ever saw before, you know, and then as I realized that, I was like, you know what? This person has to go. Like, I, like, from one day to another, blocked her from all social media, blocked her from my phone, you know, just completely blocked her. And she would call me private because she knew she was blocked on everything. She would call me private. Her mom called me, you know, and it was like her wanting to come back in, but I was just like, oh, like, I can't allow you to sit here and treat me a way that I do not deserve, and I don't want to be treated that way. So you're out. And, you know, ever since then, like, she's been out. She will stay out. She's not coming back in my life.

I love that. I love that. Because you found your worth and you found your value. And not only that, but it's like, you know, the exercise that I give you guys to do the flip the script, it's like, it's intentional because you begin to design a life that you want not where you think you'll be, but where you would want to be, which is a big difference. And I feel like the more that you focus on that new script, the more happens, the more where you're like, hold on, this doesn't fit. This, this is not what I want in this. And then that's when to make the conscious choice. And I think it's just so powerful that you did that. And then another thing that really got me, which is honestly the whole reason why I even started helping people, and it's because of the kids. It's because of the legacy. I remember you told me this on a call and it literally like made me teary eyed because I was just like, dude, like, this is, this is why. And I think I even told you, I was like, look, I care about you, but I care more about the legacy. Yeah, more about the kids. But you said that you actually have started like working with your kids on similar things that I've been working with you with. What made you want to do that?

So just the way, you know, my parents never had like a good, like, we never had like a good relationship or like good communication. So I. A lot of their, their traumas and a lot of like the stuff they went through as kids and as adults and stuff, you know, carried on to me and my siblings. And so whenever, like the whole divorce thing happened, you know, the whole breakup and everything, working with you and like, you know, working on myself, I'm like, okay, I have all of this trauma, all of this, like, not just for myself, but like from my parents, you know, I'm like, okay, I'm getting better. So like, let me go ahead and start on my kids because they've been living with me as like a traumatized adult, you know, and so it's like the sooner they can start to heal and learn to communicate and learn to be happy with themselves, like they're going to be great, you know, teenagers, great adults, you know, great spouses, you know, great parents, grandparents, all that other good stuff. And so, you know, got them journals, have them write at least five minutes because, you know, I have a preteen or a teen and I want to do this. And I'm like, well, you have to write your feelings.

Write about.

You know, my daughter's a little bit more open to like writing in her journal. Like, I got her like this journal where she like reflects on her day. And it's like. And then I'm like, you can always just look back and like, you. You'll read back and be like, oh, I did this that day. Oh, I ate this. Oh, I. You know, just for you to look back and, you know, just remember what you did. Like, if you had a good day, if you had a bad day, you know, you can always go Back and look like, oh, you know, that was actually a pretty good day. I have more good days than bad days, is the goal.

Yes. I love that. And it's powerful because you can't lead somebody somewhere you haven't been. And I love that you went there and then you tasted and you saw that it was good and you. It was natural. I didn't tell you to do that for your kids. I didn't say. I didn't say. I don't think anybody else told you to. I think it was just natural. When you experience something that you're like, okay, this is good. Yeah, this is healthy. It's like the natural overflow is to give that to your kids. And this is why it's so key. Because I know we're going to continue working together a little bit, that it's so key. And for anyone who's listening right now, honestly, it is so key to invest into yourself first, because look at what happened. You took time, you took money, you took precious mental capacity, and you spent it on you. And then now that's overflowing onto your kids, and it's only going to make them better people.

Yeah.

From a young, young age. But that doesn't happen unless we focus on ourselves first. Just like, you know, I always talk about the Bible. Jesus said, love yourself as your neighbor, so you got to love yourself first so your cup can overflow into their lives. And I love that you did that. Like, to me, that was. That was one of the most powerful moments I've had. Like, there was. There's another gentleman that I have. He's a 1% man, and his son sits in on all the group coaching calls. Like, he's literally like a little 1% man. And so it's pretty awesome because now we're seeing people like you and people like my brother Luke, that and people like Casey, who. They're bringing their kids up in a different environment because this is the number one environment that we have. And depending on what we let come in here, will dictate what happens out here. Right. And so I want to ask you just one last question, dude, and then I'm going to let you go. Okay. Because I know you got a busy day, and. And I got a meeting to get to here in a little bit also. But what's been the biggest difference? How are you experiencing life different since we started working together?

Oh, man, I feel so much better. Like, I feel genuinely happy. Like, before, I thought I was happy, but, like, now I'm like, okay, this is happiness. Like, this is me being 100%, like, authentically like myself. Like, I'm not hiding, like, one bit of myself. Like, I'm, you know, just being myself. I never knew that being yourself can bring you, like, so much happiness. Like, you're not hiding any part of you, like, which is something I was doing before without even, like, realizing it. Like, I was hiding, you know, like, a part of me. And, you know, so I just feel so happy.

I love that. I love that. So you went through the divorce, or you're probably still going through it, honestly, right from last I remember. But you got divorced. How many months did it take you to start working with me? Until we met.

So I actually started working with you. I think it was like that. The. Within, like, the first two weeks that I separated.

Okay, got it.

Yeah, it was. It was like the first two. So. So I. That same weekend that everything happened by Monday. So everything happened over a weekend. By Monday, I already had a session booked with a therapist, and then I had you booked, like, for the following week.

Wow.

Yeah. So as soon as everything happened, I had all of my stuff booked and ready to work on myself because, you know, it was just really eye opening to go through, you know, to go through that. And I was like, okay, wait. Like, there's a pattern here. Obviously, I need some work. And, you know.

So you healed from your divorce in technically, about a month and a half.

Yeah, I would say four weeks. Honestly.

Yeah.

Yeah, I think four weeks. I was like, wait, what? Like, okay, And I remember I told you, like, this feels wrong. Like, I don't even. I don't even want to feel happy. Like, I don't even want to feel all these good, positive emotions that I'm feeling, because it feels wrong. Like, I feel like I should be, like, sad and depressed and, like, crying and, you know, not getting out of bed and, you know, not working out, not, you know, doing all these good things, and it feels wrong. But then, you know, on our call, you were like, you know, all this stuff we talked about and everything, And I was like, no, like, I'm good.

Exactly. Because we naturally fall into that. That belief that we've created, that it takes time. It takes time. It takes time, Right? And so when you started noticing, holy crap, I'm. I'm. I'm better, and this is what I preach. It doesn't take time. It takes. It takes action.

Yeah.

And you took all the action. Everything that I told you to do, you did it. And I can almost guarantee you did it daily. And you consciously made that decision every single day. And when you do that, when you begin to apply these principles and do these exercises, that brings out the pain, and then you restore it with something great. And then you start changing your focus and controlling your mind. It changes everything. Because if you don't control your mind, your mind will control you. And that's why you see people that are taking years and years to recover. And you did it in a matter of four weeks, which is beyond. Beyond incredible, right? And you're not the only one. Like, I have other testimonials on my Instagram reels where in 30 days, they're like, what the heck, dude? So I just want you to know that I am extremely proud of you. I'm so happy for you. The last question. Do you regret investing that much amount of money?

No, I would and regret it. Not one bit. Like, at first, I was like, oh, you know, oh. Because I was already investing, you know, more money with, you know, my other. My therapist and everything. I'm saying one more thing, but. But, like, the console, I was like, no, I'm. I'm doing it. I don't care how. If it would. If the price would have been double or triple, I would have paid it just after the consult. I would have paid it, like, no doubt. I would have found a way. I would have found a way. I'm telling you, just that first call, I was like, no, like, I can do this, but with the right people leading me, you know, in the path that I need to heal, you know? And so. And thanks to you.

That's awesome, Letty. I love that. I love that. Thank you so much for. For giving me some of your time. And we need to book that next call, okay?