How can God heal me from my DIVORCE!

Hey, if you've been going to God, reading your Bible and praying and serving in church, trying to heal from your divorce and you just feel like that's still not doing it, I'm going to tell you why based off of my experience. And I'm also going to tell you the shifts that I made in my relationship with God that actually started to bring healing into my life from my divorce. Hey, my name is Frank Ortega. I'm a divorce recovery coach. And on this channel we cover all things divorce recovery, including life after divorce. And so if that's something that you're going through and you like this content, then make sure you hit that subscribe button so that you get notified whenever I upload more content. Okay? So the main thing that I noticed within myself, okay, and all I can give you is my experience. And you just tell me if you agree with it and you're noticing that you're doing the same things. And if you are, then just practice the things that I'm going to give you at the end. And I want you to wait to the end of this, this video because I got something special that I want to do at the end of this video and offer you if you take some action. And it's going to be absolutely for free too. All right? So the first thing that I noticed that I was personally doing whenever I went through my divorce and I was going to God to get healed, I mean, I'm talking about y'. All. I was staying up till like two in the morning every single day, listening to worship, listening to sermons, reading my Bible, doing Bible studies. I started getting involved in men's groups. I started getting involved in pure purity groups. I started serving at the church. And then for some reason, it just felt like, dude, nothing is changing. Like, I'm still dealing with the same suicidal ideation, right? I started to feel a little bit better, but that stuff would still start to come up. I would still feel like I'm not enough. My, my self esteem and my confidence levels were still down. I still didn't have any freaking closure and I still wasn't freaking letting go. So I felt like I was stuck in the same spot. I just felt like, okay, I think I know God a little bit more now, right? And maybe that's where you're at, right? And here's the first thing that I want to say. Like, that's not a bad place to be in. Okay? But why don't we just use God then and our relationship with him as he intended, which is, hey, come to Me, all who are weary, and I will give you rest, right? That is a promise from God. So if we are struggling with something, then our relationship with God is designed for us to bring those things to him. What's to say, hey, cast all your cares on me for I care about you, right? Like, give me all of your worries because I care about you, I want to help you with it, right? That's what our relationship is, so why not do that? But what I noticed that I was doing, and maybe you'll agree, and this is where you're at right now, is I was actually using God as a one night stand. Don't be alarmed by that, okay, let me break it down and give you some context and maybe you'll agree that that's actually what I'm doing. I've been using God as a one night stand as well. I want you to think about a one night stand whenever you have a one night stand. What's the purpose of that one night stand? The purpose of that one night stand is so that you can just go and feel better. So that you can forget about the other crap that you're going through right now. But then what happens with that one night stand, right? It's like you hook up, you do what you do, and then all of a sudden you're back to your reality and you're back to struggling again. And so what ends up happening, you got to go do it if you want that escape or some people end up going to like, you know, the gym, whatever, just to try and like forget for the moment. And so God is the exact same way God works, the exact same way. Our relationship with the Lord can be the exact same thing if that's how we treat it, right? What I noticed within myself is that I was actually going to God just to feel better, not to solve the problem, not to get healing, not to learn how to accept, not to learn how to create closure, not to learn how to let go. None of those things. I just wanted to feel better. I wanted the pain to stop. And that's probably where you're at right now. So you're pursuing God and you just want the pain to stop. So what do you do? You get obsessed with pursuing God. Now all you listen to is worship music. All you're doing right now is serving at the church, right? All you're doing right now is reading your Bible and you're trying to make it like, okay, where's the progress? Why? Why am I not getting better? And it's because God wasn't designed our relationship with God was not designed to be a one night stand type of experience. It was designed to be a father, son or father daughter experience. That's what it was designed for. So we're not using it in its original design, which is why we're not getting the results that we want at the end of the day. Okay. So the number one thing that I noticed that I was doing is I would go to God just to feel good. I would just get worship and I would try and forget about everything that was going on in that moment. I would try and forget about the fact that I don't feel like I'm good enough. I would try and forget about the fact that I do feel like a feeling failure. Right. And those things, it just wasn't helping. It helped me feel good in the moment. But then when I laid my head down at night, it's like I was still struggling all over again. And so that's not gonna cut it. It's not gonna do it. All right, so what is gonna do it then? This is the shifts that I made. I started bringing my problems to God. So I wanna encourage you to start bringing your problems to God. If you don't feel good enough, don't because of a mess up in the marriage, bring that to God. Hey, you know what, God, I just don't feel good enough because I messed up so badly. I need you to help me on this. I need you to heal me in that. I need you to remind me of who I am. I need you to show me who I am. I want you to allow myself to see myself the way that you see me. See, it's a completely different prayer than just like God, like, take this pain away. And then also just like being like God, you're so good, God, you're so worthy. And reading stories about how, how awesome he is, just so that we can get like that jolt of joy in the moment, that jolt of peace in the moment. Right? It's not going to be long lasting because the issue is still going to be there. Whether we like it or not, it's still going to be there. Okay? And so the next thing that I started doing, the Bible says, I think it was David who said, who prayed this prayer. He said, shine your light in the dark spaces of my heart. This is the next thing that I started to do. I started going to God not to run away from the pain, but actually to experience a little bit more pain. Let me break that down for you as well. I started to ask the question Father, show me where I went wrong and show me the areas that you want me to grow in. As I started to ask that question, God started to show me those areas. He started to show me the area where I would just stay out just a little too late with my cousins, right? He started to show me the area where I just was not honoring my wife. He started to show me the area where I was not leading my wife and my little girl spiritually in those moments either. He started to show me how I wasn't courting her, how I wasn't speaking life into her, how I wasn't believing the best about her at times, right? How I had actually turned her into an enemy on some certain occasions instead of a fighting partner that is going to war with me. So he started to show me those things. And that's why I said I actually went to God to experience more pain, because seeing those things was painful. But you know what that did for me? It showed me the lessons that needed to be learned. And pain ends, your suffering will end when two things begin to happen. You learn the lessons and you find the blessings, which is the next step that I started. Go to God. I started asking God, specifically, God, can you show me how this, everything that I'm encountering right now is actually working out for my good? Because there's another promise of God to us, and I believe it's Romans that it says that God will work all things for the good of those who love him and are called according to his purpose. So you can take that to the bank, which means you can take that to God and say, hey, God, I need you to show me in the middle of this divorce, in the middle of this mess that I'm in, in the midd of the pain, I want you to show me how is this working out for my good. What are the blessings that are coming out of this right now? Not in five years, because I don't have five years to wait. I need to feel better now because if not, I'm struggling mentally, I'm struggling with, you know, the ideation of just me no longer being here, right? So I can't wait five years to see those blessings. I need you to show me what's going on right now that is good. And I want it to be attached to the divorce that way. It's not like, oh, well, this is good, but my divorce, no, no, no. I wanted to experience this is good because of my divorce. And so when I started going to God and asking him those questions, specifically what ended up happening. I was allowing God to come into the areas in my life that were hurting me. And when God touches things that are hurting you, those things begin to bless you. But if God never gets to those, they're not going to bless you. They will continue to hurt you. And God is such a gentleman that he's not going to overstep on you. He wants you to invite him in. He wants you to allow him to be your father. He wants you to allow him to be the great physician. I want you to think about this example for a moment. Okay? Imagine if you went to the doctor because you needed to feel better, but you never brought the actual issues to the doctor. The doctor couldn't take care of you. The doctor would not be able to medicate you correctly. The doctor would not be able to do the correct surgery because you're not bringing the actual problem to the doctor. It's the same thing with God. So if you've been running to God and just using him as a one night stand, that might be why you're still not healing and why he's not healing you. He's not healing you really. It's just you're not getting your healing in that relationship. And it's just because you're being fake, you're just not being honest. You're not coming at him correct, you're not coming at him direct, you're not coming at him vulnerably, you're not coming at him with the truth. You're coming at him just to try and run away from the truth. That's not going to get you where you want to get to. So I want to encourage you today to start making that decision, to start shifting your relationship with God. Now before we go to that, okay, I want to talk about something and cover something that's extremely important. And I want to offer you the opportunity to make some level of a decision vision today. Okay? When I went through this, I wasn't serving God. I wasn't really spending time with him. I was really just using him to like feel better again in one night stand, right? I wasn't submitted to him. He wasn't like the Lord of my life. Pretty. That's pretty much why my marriage ended. I, I believe that if he was the Lord of my life and I made him Lord of our marriage, I believe our marriage might have worked out right just with you. You might believe the exact same thing. Maybe you're here right now watching this and you're saying, hey, you know what, Frank, you're right, man. He wasn't the Lord. I would tell people that I was a Christian, but I didn't run my decisions by Him. I wasn't seeking his kingdom first. I wasn't falling more in love with him and learning who I was through Him. I wasn't doing any of those things. I wasn't even trusting him with my kid. I wasn't trusting him with my marriage, and I wasn't trusting him with my family future. If I'm being honest, I had a very low level of a relationship with him and I was not submitted to Him. And so if that's you, maybe that. Maybe that's where you're at right now. Or maybe you're in a position where you actually turned away from God, started to do your own thing completely by yourself, and then now you're coming back to him and you're wondering, okay, why is this thing not working? What's going on? Here's the thing. I want you to get to a place where you don't go through this again. And the only way to get to that place again is for God to be Lord of our lives, is for us to acknowledge that Jesus is the Lord and Savior, that he came to this earth, died on the cross for our sins, rose back from the dead so that we could have unlimited access to God the Father through Jesus Christ. That's what's going to save our next marriage. That's what's going to make us divorce proof our next marriage. That's what's going to make us show up in this situation and actually experience fulfillment. It is by choosing to make Him Lord of our lives. And so right now, I'm telling you, man, I was in a position where I just felt hopeless. I had just been serving myself, getting drunk on the weekend, smoking dab almost every single night just so that I could go to sleep. And it wasn't until I gave my life back to Jesus, until I repented and I made him the Lord of my life again, that peace started to come and true healing started to enter my life. And I want the same thing for you. So if you're saying right now, hey, man, you know what? I'm where you were, Frank. I am doing exactly what you were doing. And not only that, but I was living the way that you were living in the past. I wasn't really serving Jesus. I wasn't really submitted to God. I was not all in. I was dipping my toes. I would wear the name Christian, but I wasn't bleeding Christian. I wasn't bleeding Jesus. Jesus, wasn't up in my DNA. He wasn't on the forefront of my mind, right? My Bible was collecting dust. If that's you and you're saying, hey, you know what, man? Like, I want to go back and I want to make Jesus the Lord of my life, and I want to repent. Or maybe you've never even done that before and you just started seeking God. And because you started going through this situation, I want you to know something, okay? God wants an intimate relationship with you so that he can heal your heart the same way that he healed me. Because here's the thing. When I went through a divorce, I didn't have these resources. I didn't have the beautiful blueprint, which I now call the Divorce Recovery Academy, right? To be able to learn how to practically create closure, how to practically let go, how to practically reduce the desire for my ex so that I could break the attachment and no longer want her and be obsessed with her and have my mind always thinking about what she's doing. I didn't have that. God gave that to me whenever I made this decision. And so now I offer that. Obviously, inside of the Conqueror's community, you get access to the entire blueprint, right? So a lot of people don't have to go through the journey that I had to go through and the trial and error that I had to go through to figure out this process, this healing journey about letting go specifically of your divorce. And I don't want you to go through that either. So if you're saying, hey, you know what, man? Like, I want to make that decision today, I want to stop playing small and I want to go all in. I want to stop just trying to do what I can do and using God as a one night stand and not really bringing the pain and dealing with the actual issues. And I want him to actually be the one that leads me because I believe that he actually does want what's best for me, and you want to make that decision, then what I want you to do is I want you to repeat this prayer that we're about to pray after me, and then I'm gonna give you some instructions afterwards, okay? So if that's you, I want you to close your eyes right now and repeat this prayer after me. Say, dear Father, I believe that you sent your son Jesus to die on the cross for my sins. And I believe that you brought him back from the dead, that you brought him back to life, and that when he came back to life, he solidified that he was your son and that he he is God and that he is the way. And I choose to make him the Lord of my life and step into relationship with you. Dear Father, I receive Jesus into my heart right now, in this moment. I choose to be your son or your daughter all over again. Father, I thank you for a brand new start and I cannot wait to be in a deep, intimate relationship with you. In Jesus mighty name, I thank you for all of this. Amen. Amen. Hey, congratulations. If you prayed that prayer with me, this is what I want to do for you. Okay? I got something for you. I want you to comment down below and just tell me that you prayed that prayer. And then what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna reach out to you and I'm gonna give you something absolutely for free. But it's gonna happen with us having a conversation, okay? I wanna give you access, okay, to being discipled through this journey. I don't want you just to walk this journey by yourself. I want you to have brothers and sisters that can actually come alongside with you and walk this thing out and that you can lean on brothers and sisters that have gone through the same struggle that you've been going through, that have gone through the same thing that you're going through. And some of them that have already defeated it, some of them that are in the middle of it. And I want to get you in there so that we can connect and you can connect with other like minded individuals as well. And so drop a comment down below, let me know. That way I can celebrate you and I can celebrate with you. And again, if you've been using God as a one night stand, that's why you haven't been getting healed. And this is the first step to true healing. And also the things that we covered before man, learn the lessons, tell him to search the dark parts of your heart, to shine his light on the dark areas of your heart so that you can start to learn the lessons and then show him tell, ask him to start showing you the current blessings. What are the blessings that are coming out of this right now? And I believe that as you start to learn the lesson and you start to experience the blessings, you're going to start to feel completely different. Awesome conqueror. Hey, if this was beneficial for you, if you enjoyed this video and you want more content like this, then I want you to hit that subscribe button and I'll see you on the next video.