How to get over the fear of the unknown after a divorce

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Get started then. Hey, welcome back to the channel, man. Today I have such a honor and such a pleasure to share with you guys just a little bit of the story. Just like a tiny bit of such a powerful story of one of my clients. She's a 1% woman. Jeanette. Yes, yes. And I just want you guys to hear her story because, um, what's. What she is living now and what she went through and what she conquered is available for you as well. And that's the whole reason why we do these types of things. Right? Like, that's why I love sharing just these little testimonials on my Instagram even. It's just because I want everyone to see. Because if you're watching this right now, it's because you're going through a hard time and you're wanting to know if there's light at the end of the tunnel. And so this is to show you that this 1% woman not only found the light at the end of the tunnel, but she created the light at the end of the tunnel, which is something that I say a lot because we are the creators of our lives, not the managers of our circumstances. Tony Robbins says that all the time, and it's so, so true. So, Jeanette, first of all, thank you so much for being here. And just to kind of get things kicked off, like, tell the people that are listening right now kind of where you were when me and you first met.

Okay, So I was stuck. And what I was stuck on was, why did this happen to me? What could I have done differently? How? Like, all the what ifs, that's what was on my mind all the time. Like, I had gone through the therapy. I've gone through the anxiety therapy dealing with the physical parts of anxiety. But the thoughts, the thoughts were what were getting to me. Like, why did this happen to me? Could I have done something differently? All of that, I was just stuck on it. Like, you'll touch on it probably later, but basically, I was making myself suffer. Like, I was suffering in my own thoughts. Like, I was creating this miserable life. I mean, now it's miserable now that I've gone through it, but yeah. So I was just stuck on all these things that I had no control over. I had no control over what had already happened. And I was never going to find out why it happened. So I was stuck on it.

Wow. And when we met, like, did you know that that's what was happening? Or were you just like. Like, did you know that your thoughts were creating that? That I was Not.

No. I was trying to figure. I was trying to answer those questions. That's what I was doing. Like, I was just going in this huge circle of why did this happen to me? And then, like, trying to analyze it myself. And I. I didn't have the answers, you know? And then I reached out to you, and you asked me. You're like, how do you feel? And I told you. I'm like, I feel like this, this, and this. And then you're like, yeah, this is going to help you. And then you sent me the workshops.

Yeah, I remember those workshops. Because I remember. I think you sent me a message. It might have been you. It might have been somebody else, but I think it was you. And you were like, holy cow, you're reading my mind. Or something like that.

Yeah, yeah. To get into more of it, like, I. The flip the script one, the first one, I just heard it once. I heard it once, and I was like, oh, my God, like, this is exactly what I needed. Like, I am a person that I like. Like, I like school. So when you set that workshop up, workshop up, and you're like, okay, I want you to do. First you said, like, you know, we gotta listen to it. And then you're like, then, you know, to journal it and be more active about it. And just hearing it once, I was like, oh, my God, like, I'm gonna start doing this. And then I heard it the second time. And then obviously that time it was more writing and stuff. And I was like, oh, my God, this is exactly what I needed. That's. This is how I learn. Like, this is. This is what I do. Like, I have journals and journals of stuff that I write down, because that's just how I learn. And I was feeling stuck, and that workshop was telling me, you know, you were. I was creating my own suffering. And I have no control of why that happened. I have no control of any of that. I couldn't. I can't do anything now that would make me go back and make that different. You know, the past is the past. So I started to create my own life that I wanted. I started creating the relationships I wanted. I started creating relationships with my family. Not like, dating relationships with my family, with my friends, with my co workers. Everything was different. And my relationships changed, too, because I was doing things that I want, how I was creating my life that I wanted, and I was showing up with that. So that workshop instantly changed everything for me. Like, just, like, hearing everything that I was doing it myself. I'm like, why am I Even wasting my time thinking about that, which.

Right. It sounds so simple, and it is so simple, but it's like in the moment and before. Think about it. Before you knew that that's what was happening, it just felt impossible.

It did.

And then. And then you gained awareness of it. And then through a little bit more coaching. Cause that's when you joined the group. Right after that. Then a little bit more after that, I would literally just be like, well, what are you. What are you focusing on right now? And you're like, I'm focusing on what I can't control. And then we would just start talking about what you could control. And then you started taking action on those things. And what did that do for you?

Changed so much more of everything. Like, I. After my first coaching call with the group that day, I realized, like, you know what one of my fears was, right. I don't want to state it, but I had no control over that. And the other girls, like, they all were supportive. They don't know me. They were supportive. They were loving. They gave me advice. And I was like, I have no control of what's going to happen next month or anything. Like, I'm literally going to enjoy my time with my son and show up as a better mom. And that's what I did. After one call with the group, I was like, what? I still don't believe it.

Yeah, I love that because I just remember you. You. One of the biggest things was that you felt like, and this happens to everyone, you started feeling like a bad mom. And it was. And like, you were failing as a mom. And I felt the same thing, but as a dad, obviously, because it's like you get so consumed with these irrational stories in our own head that we're no longer present in the moment. And now we're there. And instead of being the mom that we wanted to be or the dad that we wanted to be, we end up showing up as, like, this certain. Like, not even close to that. And I just remember you, like, really took it into high gear when you were like, I'm going to show up as the mom I want to be, and I'm going to create the memories I want to create and have the times that I want to have. Right.

And enjoy the time that I do have, because I don't know if that can change or can or what's going to happen. So if I have the time now, I want to enjoy it. One of the gals told me, and she's like, color with your son. Like, watch a movie like, that's simple as that, you know, and you're in those moments with them. And she also told me, I remember, like, your son's going to know, like, that you showed up. He's going to know. Like, you don't have to worry about anything else. Like, they're going to know. So it was just. That's when I felt the switch. After the first call is when I was like, what am I worrying about? Like, I just need to focus on right now. Right now is what I need to focus on. And then after that, like, even I did your self confidence or the confidence and self esteem workshop, and that helped me so much at work. And I've told you things that have happened at work, and I started showing up better at work, more confident, and it's like all these things just started coming to me that were amazing, and I'm just like, oh, my God. Like, all of this didn't just affect my, like, relationship relationships. It's, like, stuff that has nothing to do with relationships, you know, work and these new opportunities that I'm taking on. It just was. It seems so simple now that I've done it, but it seems so hard when you're not there.

Yeah, I know. When you're not there, it feels like a mountain. And it's like this huge monster. And that's why I love, like, specifically flip the script. Because whenever I break it down, it's like I'm. I try my best to make this huge, unattainable, like, undefeatable monster seem like something that. Wow. I'm making it that and all. I can literally choose to not do that now if I. If I want to, which is incredible. So tell us. You tell us obviously where you were. You told us a little bit about just what you were experiencing through it. Like, tell us where you're at, like, now. The difference that you feel from when you started working with me, like, where you're at now, which, by the way, is like a month or two months after, right?

Yeah, like two months. Yeah. Close. Yeah.

Like, we haven't been working together, what, for like, two months now. Right.

I started in March, so it was like a month or so. A little over a month that we worked. And then I've obviously communicated with you since. But, yeah, and, you know, I follow you on everything I hear your podcast. So all that is just continued stuff that I'm working on. Like, I'm not perfect today, you know, but I'm way better, and I've taken what I went through and made it into A blessing. It was a really hard lesson to go through and to live and to learn, but I've taken it as a blessing. I'm a better mom now. I know what I want and what I don't want in everything. Work, relationships, any type of relationships. And now I took the step to, you know, help other women and men, you know, volunteering. I got certified as an advocate. So I'm going to be doing a lot of that, spending a lot of my time helping women that want to be helped and take action. There's so many resources that I didn't know about, and I feel like more people need to know about them. And the cool part is I get to take my son to these things sometimes. There's activities and all that, which I'm looking forward to. So I'm not going to be taking time away from him now. We're just going to be doing this kind of together. So I'm so excited. But I've definitely taken this, and with your help and God and everything, like, it's a blessing now. Really is. It's a blessing. And I'm so excited. Like, I can't wait for June to start.

That's incredible. How much fulfillment are you experiencing in life right now?

So much.

I. I love it. It's because this. This is something that I. I think you were in that group. Hopefully you were in that group session. If not, I'm going to send it to you. Okay. Because it's a phenomenal. It was a phenomenal teaching and work that we did on that call. But one of. One of the human needs that we need to experience fulfillment is contribution and giving and growth. And you are doing both of those right now to, like, the max, which is why I know that you're experiencing so much fulfillment because you're still growing, you're still developing yourself. And then on top of that, you're focused now on giving. And that is. And it's not because, like, oh, I want to give to get something in return. Like, no, I just want to help. I just want to serve. And the more that you do that, the more fulfillment. And how beautiful is it to live a life like that, where you can just live a life saying, man, how can I serve? How can I give? And just because I want to, like, if we had more people walking around doing that type of stuff and living life like that, I think this. We would all be experiencing a way different life. Right?

Yeah, definitely. It's. Yeah. And like you said, I'm not doing this to get anything back Like, I. I'm doing it because, honestly, I wish someone would have been there for me. And it slowly came in different ways, but now I'm like, I just want to be there for someone. If I can do one little thing to help one person, like, I. To me, that's. I'll take it as a win. Like, that's a big win for me. You know, one. If I can impact one person, that's all I want to do. Because it's not easy. Life's not easy. And this isn't all just about, like, breakups, divorces, and all that. Like, this is. You can take this and put it in every thing that you go through, and you'll. You'll come up on top. And that's what I've learned. And I just want to help one person. If I can help one person, I'm good.

I love that so much. One of the core things that I like to teach everyone is something that I learned, you know, obviously from Tony Robbins and from the Bible as well. And it is that, you know, life is always happening for you. Everything. Everything that we go through is happening for us. It is a gift, and there is a lesson there, and there is an opportunity for growth.

And.

And once we begin to realize that life gets different, it starts changing, at least the way that we are experiencing it does, and our outcomes. And. And I think it's so incredible that you are, like, such a great story and testimony of how life happened for you, even though it did not seem like it was happening for you, and it seemed like it was all against you. Like, if. If people. When people see you now, especially people that are close to you and know, like, all the details of your story, they're going to be like, dude, the fact that you're here, like, how can I not believe that life is happening for me as well?

Right?

And that's why I'm so proud of you for coming on here and sharing, because to anyone that's watching this right now, it's like life is actually happening for you. And I know it doesn't feel like it right now. She was in that same place months ago. I was in that same place years ago. Everybody else that's worked with me has been in the same place. But then you come out and you realize once that mindset shifts to life is happening for me, and let me find the gift in this, right? Let me find the gift. Let me take control of what I can control. Let me change, like, the script of what I've been following. Let me take control of my thoughts and make life happen the way that I want to experience it. It's just completely different. So thank you so much for coming on here and sharing your story. Honestly, I hope that it blessed you. Is it. Wait. Is there anything you want to say before we log it off?

I just want to say, if you're ready to take action, shoot a DM to Coach Frank. You can do it. I did it. You can do it. There's so many of us going through it. Just take action today and you'll feel so much better in a month, two months, three months, however long. There's no time limit.

That's so sweet of you, Lily. I give you an opportunity to say whatever you want and you plug me in. I love that. That's so sweet of you. And she's rocking the merch. Come on. She's rocking the merch. One percent every single day. Let's go.