How to Let go of your ex

Sa. Foreign. What's up, Conquerors? Hope you're having an incredible Saturday, man. I'm so excited to be with you here on this beautiful, beautiful Saturday. This morning has already been so phenomenal, man. I'm so blessed. So blessed. Gotta go to the Mighty Men's group at Elevate Church. I go there every Saturday mostly unless I'm traveling or I have some other things that I desperately need to attend to. But it's been incredible. It's been amazing. If you're here already, go ahead and drop your name in the chat or drop a 100 drive a drop a little wave emoji. Let me know that you're here. I see there's three people already on your live. What we're going to be covering today is, man, I want to talk about letting go. I want to talk about letting go and acceptance. But more importantly, I want to talk to you about how we can actually do that, man. Because here's the thing. If. If you're here and you're going through, like, a divorce process, right? And here we're gonna get the chat going on here on the screen. So go ahead and drop. Okay, Jeanette, you guys are here. Mariela, good seeing here. Here's. Here's what's frustrating about when you go through a divorce or a breakup. What's really, really frustrating about it is the simple fact that people are always telling you to let go, but no one's ever telling you how to do it. And that's what we're going to be chatting about today. And before we do that, I'm going to go ahead and drop here on IG for everyone to. To come and join now, live now. And then we're gonna start. We're gonna hop into this, man. Awesome. Awesome. Who else is in here right now? Who else is in here? Okay. K. Barry, welcome. K Molina. What's up? K. I hope I see you in there. I know you're in the Conquerors community. So after this mastermind, just so you know, I will be going live in the Conquerors community, where I'll be able to talk to you one on one, right. And help you specifically work through your situation. So if you're needing some specific work, get into the Conquerors community. I'm going live in there after this. Live, where I can speak to you one on one, not through chat, but I'm talking about audio to audio and actually get to hear a little bit. Conguero. Good to see you here, brother. Link in bio. So let's talk about it. Man, it pisses me off when people tell you that you just gotta let go. Who else gets ticked off when somebody just tells you, hey, you just gotta let it go? Amen. You just gotta accept this. Nothing more frustrating than people telling you, hey, you just gotta let it go. You just gotta accept this. Like, bro, like, don't you think that's what I've been trying to do? Like, don't you think that I don't already know that I should just let it go, that I should just accept this? But how do you do that? Nobody ever gives you the how. So that's what I'm going to do today. I'm going to teach you how to practically start letting go and how to practically accept this thing. Now, when it comes to acceptance, this is what we got to understand, okay? There's a lot of people. Like, I was on a call earlier today with somebody who's interested in the coaching program, and she said, man, I've already accepted this thing. But she's still bitter and she's still angry. So acceptance is not just a conversation of accepting what you're going through. It is all determined on what do you want to feel? What is it that you actually want to feel when you accept this thing? Like, here's the thing, A lot of you guys know my story. And if you don't know my story, you can go head over to my Instagram. It's the number one pinned video at the very top. I got it up there so you can see it. It's like a terrible angle of me, and I'm wearing a baseball jersey, and it's like, you can see, like, my double chin. Every is terrible, terrible, terrible angle. But I tell you my story in there. And here's the thing. Everybody pretty much knows at this point that I accepted my divorce as a huge blessing. Why is that important? It's important to accept our divorce as a blessing because what we accept will dictate what we experience emotionally. And here's the thing. What you're going through right now, I want you to know. I want you to know that what you're experiencing right now in this moment, because of this divorce, because of this breakup, whatever it is that your situation is, it doesn't matter. I'm just going to be straight up with you. It doesn't matter. You know what really matters? Your experience through what you're going through, that's what matters. Your divorce isn't trauma. Your heartbreak isn't trauma. It is an opportunity for trauma to take place. But it's also an opportunity for power to take place. It's also an opportunity for transformation to take place. It's also an opportunity where you get to become the greatest version of yourself if you choose to accept it in that way. So the thing is, everybody wants this one answer, right? They just want, like, one. One answer to completely get them over this thing and change their whole life around. It's not about one answer. It is a. About a compounding effect, a compounding of answers, a compounding of acceptance. And the more that you start stacking up these moments of acceptance and what you're accepting, the more freedom you experience, the more power you experience in your life. And when I'm talking about freedom, I'm talking about actual freedom, as in joy. You experience joy. You experiment. You experience legitimate gratitude and appreciation for what you went through. Not. Not this toxic stuff that we see so often where they're like, oh, I'm better because now I get. I get to do whatever I want, and he can't tell me what I need to do anymore, right? Or she. She isn't holding me back anymore and this and that. No, I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about, like, a genuine acceptance where you're like, man, dude, I'm really grateful for what I went through. Imagine being in a place where you could look back and be like, man, I'm really grateful that that happened. I'm grateful that that happened. And so this is where we got to start separating it, okay? We got to identify what we're accepting. First of all, if you don't know what you're accepting, then you're accepting nothing. You're probably accepting defeat. Now, this happens often. This happens often where I'm like. I say, hey, we can get you to a place where you're grateful for what you went through. And then people start getting triggered because they went through some very hard things, which makes sense. I never said to accept the fact that that person used to beat you. That's not what I said. I didn't say to accept that. That is a good thing. I'm saying accept the fact that they left as a blessing. That's also. That's available for you. That's available for you. So I want you to tell me in the chat. I want you to tell me in the chat, because this is going to be interactive, believe it or not. You're not just going to sit here and watch some YouTube video, some YouTube live and get your breakthrough. That's not how this works, okay? If. If that's what you're coming here for, you came to the wrong place, okay? You can't go on Instagram and scroll through reels and think you're going to get over your ex. Like, you know, my brother here. I'mma call you out in a loving way. Juan. Juan Aguier. Okay, I want to say Aguilar, but it's not Aguilar. Agier. Aguiere. Right? Juan, You've been following me now for. For quite a bit, brother. You've been following me now for quite a bit, watching my content. Why have you not gotten your breakthrough? It's because scrolling through my reels will make you feel better in the moment, but will they will not create long lasting fulfillment and breakthrough participation and doing the work will. Okay, y', all, I want you to realize that. So if you're watching this right now and you think that you can just watch my videos, Matt, watch Matthew Haysey's videos, watch Tony Robbins videos, watch all these different types of videos, and that the more you watch the. The more healing you're gonna get. That's not how this works. Healing takes place when you do the work after the videos or in this scenario, during the video. So I want you to drop in the chat. What is it that you're accepting right now? I want you to ask yourself that. Because you're accepting something, you're accepting something. If you're like, well, I don't know. I don't know what you're accepting. Well, this is where you got to get very transparent with yourself. Okay, I'm helping you here. Tell me, what is it that you are accepting? What is it that you specifically today are accepting? Are you accepting that you failed your kids so that you failed as a parent? Are you accepting that you weren't good enough? Are you accepting that you might not get to experience true love again? Are you accepting that this might have been the best it could have ever been? Are you? What is it exactly that you're accepting? Okay, I see it right here, Volena. I'm accepting that I'm a single mom. Right? Okay, you're accepting that you're a single mom. What are you accepting about being a single mom? We got to get specific here. So I want you, if you're here, I want you to tell me in the chat, what is it specifically that you're accepting? We're doing the work right now. That's what we're doing right now. We're actually beginning to do the work. So participate with me. What is it that you're Accepting. Okay, Volena. I'm alone. Beautiful. So you're currently accepting that you are alone. What does that mean? What does being alone mean? Because that's what's going to determine what you're accepting. So we got to go a couple layers down. What is it that I'm accepting? Well, I'm accepting that, you know, I'm alone. Okay, well, what meaning are you accepting about that? Why is this important? Okay. And I want you guys to drop in what you're accepting. I want to hear from you what you're like. I'm literally here to help you, right? So if you don't post and tell me what you're accepting, I can't help you. So, Valena. But not really alone, because God's with me. I just don't have their father with me. Okay, Perfect. Perfect. K. Barry. Accepting that my ex left me for his affair, accepting that he didn't change. Okay, Perfect. What does that mean about you? What does that mean about UK Barry? What does it mean that he didn't change from. For you? What does it mean that he accepted or that you're accepting that he left you for his affair? The best way to identify this is to ask yourself, how do I feel about that? If you feel mad about it, why am I mad about that? What makes me mad about that? When you answer that question, that's what you're accepting. Normally, what we end up seeing, what I've seen after working with hundreds and hundreds of people now, is that when it comes to acceptance, we're usually accepting something bad about ourselves. We're accepting a bad meaning. That I wasn't enough. There we go. Okay? That I wasn't enough. That what he said about me was true. I can't imagine the things that he said about you. I want you to notice that that's what she's accepting. That's what Kay's been accepting, which is why she joined the Conqueror's Community. Because she said, I'm having a hard time with this. I'm struggling. Who wouldn't be struggling if. When you go through a heartbreak or a divorce, what you're accepting is that you're not enough. And what you're accepting is that what that individual said about me is true. You see? You see what happens here? We have a choice now, though. And what we accept now, this is why this is so crucial, okay? What you accept has meaning attached to it. And that meaning says something about you and about your future. Okay? About you and about your future. So when you accept what you're going through. What you're really saying is, okay, I'm accepting this about myself, and I'm accepting this about my future, right? And so you've got to figure out, what is it that I'm accepting about myself and about the future? You can answer that by asking yourself, how do I feel about that situation still? I feel pissed. Why do I feel pissed? Boom. You'll answer it. Because I feel like I'm not enough. And I feel like everything he said was true. That's why I'm so hurt by this. That's what you're accepting right now. You have a choice in what you want to accept. You don't have to accept that you weren't good enough. You have an option in that. You have a choice in that. This is what most people don't tell us. You have an option in what you're accepting. Let me get very, very transparent with you guys, okay? Because I. I feel like that's literally. Literally how everything works. A little bit about myself. I went through a divorce about three years ago. When. Three years ago was when she. No, four years ago was when she left. Three years ago was when I went through my official divorce. Right? I've been doing this now for two years. Do the math. I've been helping people through the process for two years successfully out of a healthy place, not out of a bitter place. And it's all because of this. When I first went through my divorce, you get. You want to know what I was accepting? I was accepting that I wasn't enough. I was accepting that I was worthless, man. I was accepting that there was nothing that I could ever do that would be enough. That's what I was accepting. I was accepting that I was my past failures. That's what I was accepting in the moment, that I was my past failures. Why? Because I had done some things in the relationship. A lot of you guys know this. I had been unfaithful before, and so I accepted that. Well, I deserve that. I deserve that. I deserve that. Even though I had already started putting in so much work to turn all of that around. What ended up happening was I started to accept the fact that I deserve this. What was I saying to myself? I accepted the fact that I'm not worthy of love. I'm not worthy of forgiveness. That's what I was accepting. So that led me to this place, man, where I just felt depressed. I felt anxious. I was struggling with suicidal ideation. I remember just driving over Lake Lavon looking just to run my truck off the bridge. Multiple times. After dropping off my daughter at school or going and dropping her off and coming back home to an empty house, I just accepted it. Every time I came home. Every time I came home and I saw the empty house and I saw my daughter's little toys and laying around in a little bit of her clothes in the room, and it was just quiet. And I didn't. There was no life in the house. You know what? I was accepting that I deserve this. I'm worthless. I deserve this. I'm worthless. And it wasn't helping me at all. It was breaking me more and more and more and more. And then I had a choice and. And then I realized I have a choice in what I'm accepting. Why do I have to accept that I'm worthless? Why do I have to accept that I am not good enough? Why? That's not what I want to accept. This is why. This is key. The reason why you want to accept this in a positive manner is because of the feeling you'll get. Every single person in here that's struggling right now, what you want to do is you want to feel better about what you're going through. Really. When somebody hires me to work with them through this, you know what they're saying, hey, help me feel better about what I'm going through. That's it. In essence, at its more simplest form, that is what we're doing. We are wanting to feel better about what we're going through. But if you're accepting that you are worthless, if you're accepting that you weren't good enough, if you're accepting that you're a failure, you're not going to get that result. It's not going to happen. And what's happening right now is that we are beginning to accept things just on autopilot. Well, I guess it just is what it is. Anybody who lives life with a it just is what it is attitude, you know what they're doing, they're accepting the first thing that's presented to them and it doesn't benefit them, which is why, usually why they're pretty miserable. Well, it just is what it is. Well, it just is what it is. They're very numb. They're very numb. They don't feel emotions towards individuals. They don't feel emotions within themselves. They don't. They don't go out of their way for anybody. They're very selfish. They're all about me. It's just me, me, me. Season, right, like nobody else. I'm not going to serve anybody else. I'M not going to give to anybody else. I'm not gonna lay my life down for anybody else. Why? Because me and I don't want to get hurt. You know why? Because, you know, it just is what it is. It just is what it is. That's what they've accepted that reality is, just is what it is. You have a choice in that. My life started to turn around the moment I changed what I was accepting. And you have a. You have the ability to do that today. You have the ability to change what you're accepting today. I went from accepting that I was worthless. I went from accepting that I was a failure. I was. I went from accepting that I was not good enough to be loved, that I wouldn't be loved. I went from accepting that to accepting the fact that I am genuinely good enough to be loved because of how I'm continuing to show up. I accepted that this was actually a huge blessing in my life because it gave me areas of myself back that I was now able to explore again and begin to develop. You change the story on what you're accepting. You change the feelings about acceptance. You get breakthrough like that. Most people, though, unfortunately, right? Most people, unfortunately, do this through positive thinking. Well, I'm just going to choose to accept that I am good enough. I'm just going to go ahead and choose that I'm worthy, but there's no substance there. I'm just going to choose to believe that this is a blessing, but there's no substance there. We need substance. You can't just choose to, like, accept this, for it is what it is and it's going to be a blessing, but there's no substance. It's not going to last. What we need to do is we need to understand that what controls human beings is our belief system. It's what you believe. It's what you believe about them leaving. It's what you believe about yourself. It's what you believe about the future. It's our belief systems. This is why the Bible says that as he a man thinketh and believeth in his heart, so he shall be. Why our beliefs control our outcomes. Our beliefs control our life experience. Our beliefs are everything. If you believe you can only make $5,000, you'll only make $5,000. But if you believe you can make a million dollars, you'll start moving correctly. But you can't just think it be like and positively think your way there. You genuinely have to believe it. You almost. It's almost like brainwashing yourself. Somebody asked me one day, they were like, if you could. If you could explain what you do, but don't say it professionally, say it kind of. In a kind of weird way, what would you say you do? I said, I manipulate people to believing the best about themselves, or I brainwash people into believing the best about themselves. That's what I do. That's my job. I brainwash you to the point where you're like, oh, my word, this divorce is the best thing that's ever happened to me. But here's the contrary. The contrary is that you're brainwashing yourself to believe the absolute worst about yourself, because what you're believing about yourself is not true. It's not true. It's up for debate. So if it's up for debate, then that means it can go either way. If it's up for debate, this was the worst thing that's ever happened to you. Some people might tell you that and be like, man, I'm so sorry. That's the worst thing that could have ever happened to you because. But then there's some other people like me who might say, that's the best thing that's ever happened to you. And now you get to do the work. Now you get to find what you're accepting and why. Why you're accepting it. So we're going to find some reasons. We're going to find some reasons on why this is a blessing. Zindi said, three months ago, I accepted all the negative things this failed marriage left me. But now I am accepting that although it was one of the worst things that have ever happened to me, I am worthy of love. Look at that. Changing the story already, Mariela. Oh, yes. Being brainwashed for, like, two weeks. And it's the best decision I have made to join the community. Good. Good. I'm glad to hear it. I'm glad to hear it. I'm glad to hear it. I love that. Vanina, make a list of all the gifts they gave you by leaving, how they freed you to live your best life. Amen. That's exactly what we need to do. Okay, you're accepting this as a blessing. Let's make a list of all the blessings that we have because of the divorce. Here's the thing. You can create a list of blessings so that you can start feeling better, but I want you to feel better about the divorce, not just in general. I want you to look back at your divorce and be like, man, man, dude, I'm so genuinely grateful for that season. I'm so genuinely grateful for what I Went through. The reason why Vanina hit that the nail on the head was because she's walked through this process with me. She's in the Conqueror's coaching group. So, Vanina, stop giving away the secrets before I reveal them. Girl, I love it. So it's because she. That's exactly what she did. So what do we do? We take a bad circumstance, we call it a blessing. This is where people start, stop. They just positively think themselves into. That's a blessing. That's a good thing. Whatever, whatever, whatever. And then next thing you know, they're like, oh, two years down the road, they're still bitter. It's because the blessing needs to be solidified with evidence. So what Vanina just asked you to do was to stack the evidence. Why is this a blessing for. For me? So here's the question that I want you to ask yourself. If you're here live with me right now, I want you to drop this in the chat, okay? I want you to ask yourself the question, man. How is this actually a blessing for me? How is this divorce actually giving me things back that it. That. That I would have never had before? What is it giving me back? Be specific. Ask these questions, and I want you to drop them in the chat. What is it giving you back? What is it giving you back? What is it giving you back? How is this divorce actually a blessing for you? How is this divorce actually a blessing for you? Genuinely ask yourself that question. First thing that pops into your mind, boom. Drop it into the chat. How is this a blessing for you? What blessings is this divorce giving you right now? What blessings is. Is this divorce giving you back right now for me? I'll give you an example as you guys begin to drop those in the chat. For me, the blessing that I got back was that I was able to start investing into ministry again, man. It allowed me to start going back to church consistently again. It was beautiful. It was beautiful. Look at that, K. Barry. The opportunity to be loved and treated well. Come on, Anne Hills. Allowing me to live my truth. Allowing you to fully be honest. I love that. That's beautiful. That's beautiful. That's so freaking good. What else? Come on, tell me more blessings. Give me some more evidence. Give me some more evidence to prove that this divorce is actually a huge blessing for you, Vanina. Look at how simple it is, too. I can play my music whenever I want. I love that. I love that. I love that. You want to know one of my simple blessings? I was able to start praying in the spirit out loud. In my crib. I couldn't do that when I was married. Made her feel uncomfortable. Made her feel uncomfortable. One of my biggest blessings was man. I can pray in the spirit whenever I want, as loud as I want, in the comfort of my home. I also love worship music. Guess what I got to do. I got to blast worship music. I got to blast worship music. Volina. I get to be who I want. Amen to that. I love that. Come on, give me some more blessings. What else is this divorce giving you back? What else is this divorce giving you back? Them leaving. What did they give you back? What did they give you back? Here's a story that I love to tie in with this acceptance. Okay, by the way, this is what we're doing right now. You're choosing to accept this divorce right now as a blessing. And what are you doing right now? You're looking for ways to prove to yourself that this actually is a blessing. Just like you've been looking for ways to prove to yourself that you weren't enough. Just like you've been looking for ways to prove yourself that maybe they were right about what they said. Just like you've been looking for. For evidence on to be able to prove to yourself that you might end up alone and that this is going to be incredibly difficult. Just like you've been looking for evidence like that subconsciously, without even knowing it. Now make the conscious effort to look for. For blessings of the divorce. And then guess what you get to do. You get to say, I accept that. That's what I'm going to accept. Mariella said, I'm accepting more peace, allowing me to be myself. Allowed me to go to church and reconnect with God again. And I'm accepting that I'm able to praise God out loud in my house. And I'm getting financial discipline. There we go. I got my focus back. I was so focused on saving my marriage. Kay Barry, you're accepting the fact that this divorce gave you back your focus, getting your focus back. K. I want to take this deep. I want to take this deep. K. Getting your focus back. What did that give you when you got your focus back? Did you get more peace? Did you get more rest? Did you get more joy? Did you get more abundance? Did you get more presence in moments? What did you get back when you got back your focus? Tell us, Ann Hills. I got my life, period. I got my life, period. Okay, awesome. And I love that. But to me, that's still too general. You got to get more specific. You got to get More specific, what about your life did you get back? I got back my ministry. I got back my ability to express myself spiritually when I wanted to. That's what I got back. I got back some of my favorite hobbies, like jiu jitsu. Right. I got that back. I got back moments with some of my best friends that I had to stop hanging out so much with because of that relationship. That's what I got back. The more specific you can get, the more grateful you'll feel for the divorce. And then this is what you do. You accept that. That's what you choose to accept. Zindi, she got back freedom to go back to church twice a week and serve without being judged. Beautiful. You know what I. You know what Zindy accepts when she says, man, I accept this divorce? She's saying, I accept the fact that this divorce gave me the freedom to go to church twice a week and serve and not be judged. How much better does that feel? How much better does that feel? I get to walk in joy and freedom and to do what I'm passionate about. I'm accepting that this divorce gave me the ability to walk in joy and freedom and to do what I'm passionate about. I love that. I love that. Arlene, she said, I have recently started to admit that I was attached and codependent and lost myself. Now I'm accepting that I can live a beautiful life without chaos. Boom. That's beautiful. That's beautiful. That's beautiful. That's beautiful. That's how you can do it, right there. That's how you can do it, right there. That's exactly how you make a choice on where you're accepting. Anybody who told you that you just have to accept it for what it is is a freaking idiot. Don't listen to them. Cut them out of your circle. If they're your family, tell them, hey, sorry, not going to be talking about life with you no more. They're an idiot. You don't just have to accept it for what it is. You get to choose what it is that you accept. Period. That's how this goes. That's how this goes. This is the life that God gave you to experience on your terms. Don't just accept anything. Choose what you're going to accept. You choose that. Nobody else can do that for you. Nobody else can do that for you. All right. Awesome. Awesome. Awesome. He's no longer under his control. Perfect. So acceptance is what you choose to accept, not just what happened. We have to. We have to attach a meaning to it. Okay, I want you to write this down if you can. Meaning equals feeling. Meaning equals feeling. Okay? Meaning equals feeling. What you make a situation mean will determine what you feel about it. If you accept things as something bad you're making, acceptance means something bad. Therefore, you will stop yourself from accepting it and letting it go. Change the meaning. This is what we did right now. Whenever I went through the divorce, I made it mean that I was worthless, unlovable, and not good enough. Okay? You know what I chose to do? And I made it mean that I lost everything I ever wanted. That's what I made it mean. So it was extremely difficult for me to accept it. But what ended up happening was, man, all of a sudden I get this thing, this Holy Spirit in me. God just starts speaking to me, and he's like, son, go serve me. Go to church. And the more I was going to church and the more I was getting involved and just receiving and being there without the worry of anything, and I could be spending time with young adults, like investing into their life and connecting with them, the more that I was doing that. Guess what I started realizing, man, I'm accepting the fact that I can do this. The meaning changed me. Getting divorced didn't mean that I lost everything I ever wanted. It meant that I got so much back that I always wanted and desired that I had to lay down for that individual that I didn't want to lay down, that I don't think you have to lay down in a marriage. Why do I say that? Because I see a lot of married people that do the things that I want to do as a couple. So I didn't have to lay those down for that person. I had to lay them down. If not, it was extreme chaos. But that's my fault. That's where I got to take accountability and say I chose to do that. Never again. I will hold my standard, and I will meet somebody who's in those things with me and joyfully does them. I'm not forcing them. Hey, perfect. But we have a choice. We have a choice in what we're going to accept on this. Okay. I love some of the things that you guys are now accepting. Now let's move on to letting go. Let's move on to letting go. Acceptance and letting go works hand in hand. How do we practically let go? Very, very simple. If I'm trying to let go of this, you guys have probably seen me do a video on this before, like a little reel. If I really desire this and I want to put it down, this is What I need to do, I need to willingly want to put this down and let it go so that I can grab something else, so I can grab something better. This is what most people do, and this is why we get stuck in letting go is because we say, okay, yeah, I don't want that. I don't want that. I don't want that. Actually, I'm going to cover this here in a second. What we got to do is reduce the desire for this thing. That way you willingly want to let it go. If you don't reduce the desire for your ex, if you don't reduce the desire for the relationship you had with him, you will never let this thing go. And guess what? This will add on to the blessings that you are receiving from that divorce. I promise you. So I want you right now to ask yourself this question and I want you to put in the chat. What is one thing about that relationship that you're happy to let go of? One thing about that relationship that you're happy to let go of? One thing about that relationship that you're happy to let go of? Maybe you guys weren't aligned in values. That could be it. Maybe it's because they tried taking away some of your hobbies. That could be it. Maybe it's because their insecurity led to way more arguments than moments of connection. That could be it. Letting go of chaos. Beautiful. You're letting go of a chaotic relationship. Good, good, good, good. That's really good. Give us more. Come on. What is it that you're letting go of in this moment? What are you choosing to let go of? What are you choosing to let go of? I don't have to shrink myself to fit in his box. Beautiful. I'm happy to let go of forcing myself. Oh, how good would it feel to no longer have to force. Force yourself, but to just be let go of that. Let. Release that. Release the need to have to force yourself. That's what you're letting go of. The strong desire I had for that person was simply an idealization. It wasn't necessarily real. So I was tricking myself. Zindy, again, you're giving away way too much. Just because you work with me, Zindy, doesn't mean you can come in and reveal the secrets before I'm ready to reveal them. I love that. I'm happy to let go of forcing myself to be intimate. Wow. We can work on that too. By the way. K, there's a perspective shift where you no longer have to force yourself to be intimate. Letting go of a situation where I felt shut down every time I tried to speak up. I'm letting go of trying to prove my worth every day. Soupy, that's incredible. This is what you're letting go of, y'. All. This is what you're letting go of. The reason why so many people struggle to let go is because they believe that I'm letting go of the best thing that's ever happened to me because they don't pull back and look at what am I actually choosing to let go of. You've got a choice of what you let go of. Mariella said, I'm letting go of alignment. His insecurity that also made me insecure. The idealization I created of him and not not being his priority. Anne Hill said, our energy did not match. I had to become who he wanted me to. To be. I'm letting go of being under his control. Go, Cindy. Guys, Y' all letting go of a lot today. Y' all are letting go of a lot today. Come on. How beautiful is that? How beautiful is that? You're not letting go of your future. You're not letting go of the ability to be loved. You're not letting go of the desire to have the relationship that you've always wanted. What you're letting go of is you are actually letting go of the things that no longer served you in that relationship. That's what you're letting go of. Now, I want to ask you one more question. I want you to drop this in the chat. How is that individual currently showing up for you today? How is this individual currently let showing up for you today? How are they showing up for you today? Put that in the chat. How is this individual currently showing up for you today? How is this individual currently showing up for you today? Put it in the chat. I'm letting go of arguing in front of our son. That's a good one. K. Volina. He's not showing up at all. So Volina is letting go of somebody who's not showing up at all. Beautiful. Zindi is letting go of passiveness. Vanina. He's not showing up at all. So you're letting go of somebody who's not showing up at all. Soupy, you're letting go of a ghost. You're letting go of a ghost. I like that. I like that. He's not showing look at that, all of y'. All. He's not showing up for you at all. That's what you're letting go of. Stop holding on. Stop holding up to an individual who's not showing up for you at all. Let him go the false way he shows up and blames me. Ah, okay. So you're letting go of an individual that manipulates you. That's what you're letting go of. You're not letting go of your dream husband. You're not letting go of the. The. The love of your life. You're not letting go of your ideal partner. You're letting go of somebody who manipulates you. I want you guys to know so notice something. These are the things you're letting go of. This is what you're letting go of. You've been lying to yourself that you're letting go of all the dreams that you've had, that you're letting go of all the visions that God's given you for your life. You're not letting go of that. This is what you're letting go of. You're letting go of everything that hasn't served you. If that relationship ended, it's because if we're being honest to some degree, it was not serving you. This is why I love working with people that got left. Okay? I also work with people that chose to leave, but I love working even more with people that got left because they didn't choose it. And when you didn't choose means that God must have known that it was not serving you in such a way where he allowed it to go. Where he allowed it to go. If it's not in your life right now, it's because you don't need it in your life right now. God works with what's left. He doesn't work with what left. As you begin to let go of these things and you practice this. How do we practice this? You remind yourself. I think the Bible says something along the lines of remind yourself of the goodness of God. Remind yourself of the goodness of this divorce. Remind yourself of the goodness of this divorce. Remind yourself of the goodness of them leaving. What's the good in it? What's the good in it? I can find all the bad. I can find all the terrible reasons. I can find all the terrible things about myself potentially. I can find all the scary things about the future. But there's also good. And I'm not going to blind myself to no longer see the good now. I'm going to blind myself to the bad, and I'm going to direct my focus to the good. Because that's also available for you. Everything you guys shared here today, everything you shared here today, every single bit of information has been available for you this Entire time, this entire time, this has been 100%, completely available to you. All I did was ask you the right questions to get you to answer the right answers to get you the freedom that you wanted. And when I say freedom, I mean to make you feel what you wanted. Look at this. We're 42 minutes in. Only an Hill said, y' all got me over here in tears of. Of joy. How beautiful is that, man. K said earlier y', all, this is doing something to my spirit. That's the Holy Spirit healing uk. That's the Holy Spirit touching your heart. That's your. That's the Holy Spirit saying, baby girl, I got you. I got you. I got you. I got your back. This was a good thing. This was a blessing. My hands on it. My hands on it. It might be a wound, but the doctor's hands on might hurt at times. But the hands on it, that's going to heal it. But the hands on it, that's going to heal it. Your duty as a patient is just to focus on the good. Focus on the good, man. What else. What else did this divorce give me? I want you to get addicted to that. Get addicted to identifying the blessings that this divorce has given you. I do that till this day. Till this day, I do that. The simple fact that today I was at the swimming pool with my coach as he baptized six individuals, and I got to see a father baptize his daughter. And it reminded me of a moment where I last year, I got to baptize my little girl. My little girl at the church of her uncle that loves her so much that her mom doesn't have a great relationship with. I got to baptize her at that church, man. Today was another reminder of why I'm so grateful for everything that I went through on why I'm so grateful that she chose to leave. Why? It's a blessing. It's a blessing. It's a blessing. There's blessings all around you. There's blessings all in this divorce. Here's the thing. I'm not. The Bible says that he will give you beauty for ashes. This is God's promise to you, man. This is what he did in my life. He gave me beauty for some of the worst things that I've ever gone through. Some of the worst things I've ever gone through. God gave me beauty for those things, and he's giving you beauty for those things. The problem is people believe that the beauty is going to come in the next two to three years. No, the beauty is here today. The beauty is now. I want you to put that in the chat. The beauty is here today. The beauty is here today. The beauty is here today. I want you to put that in the chat. The beauty is not in two years. It'll be there too once I get there. But the beauty is here today. The beauty. The blessings aren't in another year from now. The blessing is in today. Why? Because I can't wait for two years down the road to experience the beauty of of my divorce. I need to experience it today. Why? Because I have today. Today. It says the Bible says this is the Lord, the day that the Lord has made. I will be glad and rejoice in it. How can you be glad and rejoice in today if you're still waiting for something in the future? See it today. See it today. Accept it today. Receive it today. Let go of that thing today. Don't worry about tomorrow. Focus on today. There is so much beauty in the mess that you're going through right now. If you will commit yourself to look. The Bible says that he who seeks will find me. He who is faithful in seeking will find me. You know what God is? God is blessing. You know what God is? God is peace. You know what God is? God is joy. That's who God is. That's who God is. You want to find him in your divorce? Find the peace. Find the blessing. Don't wait for it. Find it. Find it. You can do it. You just did it today. And if you need help doing it and continuing to do it and you want to continue to take this momentum and and build and keep taking your life to next levels and keep taking this to another level, then go to the Conquerors Community. Sign up. You don't even have to get into the coaching group. There's support calls for you every single week for the app, for the community access package and access to the live events. If you want to be around people who are obsessed about finding the blessing in today, not in tomorrow, in today. If you want to be around people who are overcoming divorce, who are not just conquering it, but they're more than conquering. If you want to be around those individuals, you want to learn what they know, you want to operate the way that they operate, get in the Conquerors community. Www.converors.community and I'm telling you, the BL what you're feeling today, it lasts. Man, I've been experiencing this for the last three years, man. It's like a year after my divorce. I've been experiencing it as such a good thing that happened in my life, man. Such a good thing that happened in my life. You see this ring? I used to look at this ring and cry. I used to look at this ring and, man, get pain in my stomach. My stomach would drop because it would remind me of what a failure I was. When I look at this ring today, still makes me cry, man. But it makes me cry because I'm so grateful. It reminds me of how blessed I am. It reminds me of how when I felt unqualified to be loved, that's when God loved me the most. It reminds me of how thanks to this, thanks to that moment, I became the best father I ever thought I could. I'm able to communicate with my daughter in ways that my parents never communicated with me. It reminds me that because of that, I got to preach on stages that I could have only wished for in the past while I was married. This ring means something, and I'm getting it removed. I've done like eight sessions on it, right? But I want you to know is for most people, I was talking with someone the other day and she was talking about how she has a ring tattoo. Oh, there we go, Anne. And there she is. And her ring tattoo. She was like, every time I see it, man. Ah. Oh. And I'm like, dude, you want to know what I feel every time I see this? Wow. Thank you, Lord. Thank you from the bottom of my heart, man. With everything in my being. Thank you. This is the power in accepting and letting go. It doesn't happen by accident. There's work. There's work. There's work. There's work to do. I hope that blessed you. I'm going to go ahead and get off now. That is how you let go, and that is how you accept what you're going through in a way that empowers you, not in a way that keeps you stuck and bitter. And so what I'm going to do, just so you guys know, I'm about to head over to the Conquerors community, and if you want to, if you want to meet me there, go to www.converors.community and just sign up for any of the packages. Do not sign up for the five thousand dollar package. I'm capped out on that right now. But the other packages are fully available still. And I'm going to drop a zoom link in there. And for some people who are maybe struggling still and want a little bit more in depth work, I'll be live in there with you for about 30 minutes because I'm taking my daughter to see a a Jesus musical here at like 4pm my time. So I don't got that much time, but I want to make sure that I serve you guys in there. Okay? So head over to the conquerors community again. Www.converors.community and I will see you guys in there. God bless you and thank you so much for trusting me and for spending some time with me. I promise you, as you begin to accept this divorce as a blessing, you will naturally begin to let it go and it will no longer control you and you will now know that this was such a good thing. Probably one of the best things that I could have ever gone through. God bless you guys. Love y'. All. You guys are awesome. You're welcome. Zindy, Vanina, you're incredible. Bellina, you too, Soupy, you too. And all of y' all are phenomenal. God bless you. I'll see you on the Conqueror.