What to do when your ex doesn't pay child support! MUST WATCH!
Laura won most of her child and spousal support claim in court, including partial attorney fees. She talks about holding her ex accountable, leaning on her network of working moms, and the mental discipline it took to stay composed during the hearing.
Chapters
Like, whatever I got today, it wasn't going to save my life. You know what I mean? It wasn't. It wasn't going to make sure that groceries were on the table. Today was about. Was about accountability for him.
Hey, would you be okay if I use this on YouTube?
Of course. Yeah.
Because this is why I want to do that, is because there's a lot of, not even just single moms, but single dads out there, too, that are so dependent and obsessed with, well, they need to pay well, they need to do this. Will they need to do that. And here's the thing. It's valid. It's so valid. But the time that we waste staying stuck on that is insane. Imagine if you would have stayed stuck on that for the past year.
I just let the math be the math. I just showed up, and the stuff that he was lying about unfortunately came to light. And so I got my attorney's partial attorney's fees, which I thought I would get none. And the child support that he was trying to get out of and the spousal support, I got most of it. I think it came out to, like, maybe three or 400 less than what I thought, but I thought I was getting only 400 bucks. So it was. I think it was a win call.
Woman of God. Because here's the thing. I wasn't worried about you going to court at all. As soon as you said, I'm going to court, I wasn't like, man, she hasn't been on a call. I wonder how she's going to do. Because your mindset is just right when it comes down to these things. You have a very fruitful mindset that you've actually created because, you know, you weren't like this in the beginning, right? And you've developed this mindset now. And so it's like, perfect timing because Arlene was just really struggling with, like, overwhelming fear because the ex is lying, saying things about her, trying to go and, like, take the kid away. And so she was, like, getting crippled by fear and overwhelm and all these thoughts of doubt. And then here comes Laura coming in and being like, well, hey, everything he lied about came out to not be true. Crazy. Crazy how that works. And I actually got more than I thought I was going to get. I didn't get everything I was going to get, but it's a W, because I was just looking for the best results. That's it.
At the end of the day, like, I'm really glad that I didn't listen to everybody initially and That I really forced myself to hustle on my own because, like, whatever I got today, it wasn't going to save my life. You know what I mean? It wasn't. It wasn't going to make sure that groceries were on the table. Today was about. Was about accountability for him. And. And you just can't do that to people. Like, I didn't. I wasn't a bad wife. I didn't cheat on him. To leave me with $200 is not a hit on me. It's a hit on his children. And, like, I'm very grateful for my mom, but my mom didn't need to do that in the beginning. Like, I shouldn't have had to do that. But because I worked so hard in the beginning, this is all plus, like, I've been living off of my other income. So this is all for savings, for training, for school, for advancement, because I didn't rely on. On this to, like, be my livelihood in the beginning. So if I would have gotten $1, it would have been a win. And I honestly thought I was gonna get a quarter of what I got granted. And, yeah, so it's a win. And. And I mentioned this group. I mentioned this group in there to the judge, and she's like, wow, Like, I've noticed you didn't ask for support. Like, this is actually. Like, you seem really well composed. Like, I feel like you've been working hard and making step, and it looks like you're in a really great coaching group. And I was like, yeah. Like, this is like, I'm just here for what's there, and that's it. She's like, that's a very unique petitioner. Like, in my position. Hey, I'm not going to lie. I was nervous. I'm anxious. Like, being in the courtroom is very triggering. It's very. At one point, we were sitting across from each other in the waiting room, and there's a lot of things that go through your mind as you're sitting across from the person that you built a family with and children, and it's very triggering. And you just have to step back from that, and you have to not let that, like, poison your thoughts and your nervous system, because it's just that part of your relationship is over. It's no longer that. And you don't have to go in angry. Like, I was practicing smiling before because there's. The Last time I was in there, I remember just feeling, like, this frown on my face, and I'm like, that's not how I want to show up. I don't want to show up pissed or bitter looking or angry because that's not how I feel. And so I was talking to David and I was joking. I said, I'm practicing smiling and going in there with like bright eyes in a happy disposition because I don't have any ill will towards him. If he lies, that's on him. It's not on me. Like, I know the truth and I know how I've shown up. And, you know, he even tried to say a couple of things. His lawyer tried to say a couple things. And I stand firm. Like, you can't shake me anymore. Like, before I used to be so shakable. And. And I'm not anymore.
Come on, Laura. I'm so flipping proud of you. That's amazing. Hey, would you be okay if I use this on YouTube?
Of course. Yeah.
Because this is why I want to do that, is because there's a lot of, not even just single moms, but single dads out there too, that are so dependent and obsessed with, well, they need to pay. Well, they need to do this. Will they need to do that. And here's the thing. It's valid. It's so valid. But the time that we waste staying stuck on that is insane. Imagine if you would have stayed stuck on that for the past year.
Yeah.
You'd be homeless.
Well, I'd be miserable. Like, yeah, my today, this weekend, this weekend when I was working the festival, they're like 15 hour days, you know, But I have such an amazing group, like such an amazing team. And it just happens to be all moms this year. All mom bartenders.
That's awesome.
That's like pumping at Coachella. But I was like, I'm so grateful that I have that I didn't stay home and just wait for that paycheck. That I'm able to, like, be in this group of women, like, hustling, working hard, providing, helping provide for families or for ourselves individually. Like, not waiting. And all of us went in together. We were laughing. We worked hard. We all have four feet. But we all know, like, that we have a really great support circle. And all those people that I have around me are a real blessing that I would have missed out on. So I'm glad I didn't just focus on, he has to pay and that's not fair. And his life is going on like. Like I was hanging out in my lounge with like, Karin Leon Teso Puma, their manager. Like, it was. It's all right.
You could have been at home miserable instead focusing on, well, why didn't he ever pay and why didn't he show up? And instead, you got to hang out with those people. And I want you to know something, Laura. Even though there might not be everybody, Everybody might not say this. You probably hear it a lot now, but not everybody probably says it. But I want you to know that you leading yourself this way, you're actually leading a lot of people, and they see you and they're watching you, and you're an example. And there's a lot of people who, going through what they went through, become an example of what not to do. But you're. You've. You've become. With intentionality, it didn't happen by accident. You didn't trip into success. You didn't just pray your way there. You prayed and stepped your way there, and you did the work, dude. And so now I'm telling you, I'm telling you, girl, like, there's a future for you with leading women. There really is, because you haven't even thought about it. Like, well, I'd love to lead women. You're just like, I just need to, like, lead myself in this season. And because you've been so faithful in that, like, this is why you're experiencing what you're experiencing. Like, most people right now would be so pissed off and frustrated of what they didn't get, but you're just like, all of it is just bonus, baby, because I decided to show up. So I want to honor you for that. And I think.
