Dr Frederik G. PferdtFrom Stanford & Google — To You

She stayed kind. 15 years later it got her the job.

14 Apr 2026 · 2 min

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In this personal anecdote, the speaker recounts a chaotic Stanford family trip to Costa Rica about 18 years ago, where the hotel turned into a party scene with heavy drinking, unruly young guests, and many frustrated parents. While many parents complained loudly and left, the speaker chose to stay kind, supportive, and understanding toward the trip organizers despite personal dissatisfaction. Fifteen years later, during a job interview, the speaker was evaluated by the same trip leader who remembered the speaker’s courteous behavior. The leader later revealed that the speaker’s kindness during the problematic trip contributed to being hired, illustrating how long‑term reputation and consistent positive conduct can have lasting career benefits.

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About, let's see, 18 years ago, I was on a trip, a Stanford trip to Costa Rica with our family, and we got there and the trip was a disaster. They had scoped out the hotel during the off-season and it seemed fine, but when we got there, it was a party hotel. All these young people had gone down to Costa Rica for this holiday break. There was a bar in the pool. There were all these people running around in their bikinis. There was, you know, alcohol flowing freely. The drinking age was very low and not monitored. So many of the parents on this trip that we were on were just fit to be tied. Many of them picked up and left. Some of them— many of them complained very, very loudly to the people who were running the trip who had not been at all involved. In planning the trip. And I tried to be understanding, even though I was certainly not happy. I tried to be understanding and to support the team who was running the trip. To be honest, I forgot about the whole thing. You know, at some point, you know, tragedy plus time equals comedy. You know, it was like the trip that went south, literally and figuratively. Came back and many years later, 15 years later, I was interviewing for my current job. And the person who was one of the people who was on the team who was evaluating me was the trip leader. Now, I did not remember her at all. It was 15 years earlier, you know, I didn't remember her at all, but she surely remembered me. And she didn't tell me until after many months after I was hired. She didn't remind me of it, but I know, and she knows, that if I had behaved badly 15 years earlier, I would not have gotten the job. And it— this happens all the time. ¡Gracias!