Ashley ChandlerFounder + CEO, The Teenage Guide · Founder and CEO, The Teenage Guide | Parent and Teen Coach

Boundaries do not equal control

24 Jul 2026 · 1 min

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Parents should separate non-negotiable boundaries around safety and wellness from negotiable ones like fashion and time management. Rigid control over small choices backfires. Instead, help teens develop the skills behind those decisions.

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When it comes to boundaries with our teens, I highly suggest you have non-negotiable boundaries. And those are typically around wellness and safety and negotiable boundaries, which is like choice in time or self-expression, fashion. There's certain things that are kind of negotiable. We don't wanna pick those battles. It's just a lost cause with a teenager. We want them to build the skills. That's non-negotiable. We want them to take care of— know how to take care of themselves, know how to be compassionate, caring, kind people, and be of service.