In this episode of The Teenage Guide Podcast, host Ashley Chandler introduces herself as a veteran educator and bridge‑builder between parents and teens, emphasizing a science‑and‑soul approach to adolescence. The main guest, Speaker B, shares a vivid personal story from day 8 of his mother’s hospice care, describing the phenomenon of "sundowning," an intense love exchange, and a moment of spiritual affirmation that he interprets as passing a test of unconditional love. Building on that narrative, Speaker B outlines a daily practice of mastering his own energy: waking with the intention to enter an empowered state, filtering media, food, and relationships, and establishing non‑negotiable boundaries rooted in self‑love. He expands the discussion to belief systems, using a stitched‑wildflower metaphor to contrast seeing life events as miracles versus "crappy" tests that refine energy and belief. The episode concludes with Ashley’s invitation to listeners—parents, teens, educators, and college students—to adopt these principles, share the episode, and explore upcoming resources and programs on her website, reinforcing the message that every listener already possesses the power to live the life they desire.
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Hey, I'm Ashley Chandler, The Teenage Guide, and for nearly 2 decades, I've worked inside middle schools and high schools and with college-age students and family living rooms, helping hundreds of families go from daily conflict and closed doors to real connection with their teenager. I speak parent and I speak teen, and I create a bridge between you that a lot of other methods can't And won't. If you're navigating adolescence in your home and a version of yourself you're still becoming, you're exactly where you need to be. Let's reimagine the teenage years with science and soul at the forefront. This is The Teenage Guide Podcast.
It was day 8 of being in hospice with my mom. And right around the time, you know how babies get their witching hour, so it's before bed. There's this concept that I was not aware of until my mom was in the hospital called sundowning, where when you are on the verge of the sun setting, patients with dementia or who are transitioning will start to act more erratically. They will have more fear. They will have more neediness, more questions, and more maybe agitation. And I learned this when she was in the hospital just a few months before she went into hospice. And so day 8 of hospice, I was walking her to the bathroom, which she refused to take anyone else's hand. She just wanted me around. She was very stubborn. She had tubes. The whole scene was extremely vulnerable. So I'm walking her to the bathroom and it just felt so calm and at peace and fully present. I just felt fully present to the transition that was happening, that was unfolding for her and for me. And knowing there was nowhere else that I needed to be, that was the exact place I needed to be. She got settled and she looked at me and she goes, you're being so nice to me. It was a love exchange. It was an energetic love exchange. She fully felt that I was unconditionally showing up for her. In the ways that she was never shown up for by her own mother. I knew it. And I had a voice come to me. I believe it was source energy. You can call it God, you can call it intuition, you can call it just your mind thinking, whatever. I don't care what you call it. It's more that we tap into that as human beings. And the voice said, You passed the test. And instantly I knew what that meant. Instantly I knew. It wasn't about an accomplishment. It was spiritual energy rooted in unconditional love. And I knew that ultimately I was able to show up for her in her most vulnerable state with full presence and love. Not because she'd been perfect, not because it was just, you know, smooth sailing. It was the hardest 4 years of my life being with her. But because I had fully embodied and absorbed what it meant to love myself unconditionally so that I could show up For her, and she could feel it too. Not because I achieved anything, not because she was perfect, I was perfect, not because we did more, we proved more. You passed the test. And that moment, that energy carries with me. It carries with me every single day of my life. How I show up for myself, rooted in unconditional love. I practice being the master of my own energy. Every single day I wake up and you know what my number one job is? My number one job from the moment I wake up is to get into the most empowered state possible. I pour into myself. I pour into my mind. I pour into my energy. I pour into my body. I filter out what will not serve me. I set the foundation for the day. When I come from this place, certain things become non-negotiable. I don't engage with toxic media, people, substances. I'm mindful of the fuel I put in my body to start the day, not from a place of fear or control that I need to be a certain way in order to be loved, in order to be beautiful, in order to be enough. I fill up myself from unconditional love, and it sets the foundation for my entire day and how I show up for everyone I come in contact with. Even if I never see your face, but you're listening to this right now, this energy comes from unconditional love so that you will feel it. You will start to look at yourself and feel it within your soul that you are enough. A divine being who is here for a very short amount of time, who has come here to experience this human life, all the ups and downs, and to grow through them. To love yourself so much that you don't make challenges that you go through mean something bad about you long-term. That you appreciate who you are, who you really, really are. That you care enough about yourself. That's That you have boundaries around your time and your energy and your relationships and your to-do list. Everyone I come in contact with feels this. That's my belief. That is my belief. This is how I operate. And it's not from a place of I'm some guru that's better than you. We are all mirrors for each other. I am reflecting back to you what is already within you. It's already there. You have so many different layers of conditioning that have told you otherwise. I am not better than you. I have a different skillset maybe than some of you. And my work, my deepest intention in my work is to share that, is to pass that on, is to guide you to feel the exact same way. When I look in the mirror, I don't focus On what's wrong. I'm so grateful for my healthy body. I'm so grateful that I get to be here with you right now. We look outside of ourselves from the moment we wake up to give us the reassurance and the validation that we are okay, that we are safe. And every time that we do that, we give our power away. We have to become the masters of our own energy. We want something, we want to experience something in our lives, we have to believe it. About ourselves and about what's possible for us before we will see it. And when we believe it, it shows up. It shows up. I have this really cool stitched flower thing. I forget where I got it. I think it was actually from my family, but it was like 10 years ago, so I'm not remembering the exact time, place, etc. However, we look at it every single day. It's got these wildflowers. I love wildflowers. Speaking of which, look at this. Literally on my walk today, someone had done landscaping and cut off this lavender bush, and this was just lying on the ground. You can't make this up. Lavender's my favorite, and I happen to be wearing a lavender shirt.
It was just meant to be.
Meant to be. So anyway, wildflowers are my favorite, and it's this stitched— I'm getting the lavender off my table here. It's this stitched—
Lavender.
Like cross-stitched thing of a bunch of wildflowers. And it says, there are 2 ways that you can believe. One is that nothing is a miracle. And 2, as if everything is. I choose the latter. Do crappy things happen? Yes, they do. That's life. And we can choose to see them. Are they crappy or are they there to test us? To refine our beliefs, to refine our energy, to remind us that we are unconditional love, there's nothing that can get in our way. There's nothing that can deter you long-term if you don't let it. There's nothing that can get in the way of you feeling your best and loving yourself unconditionally when you become the master of your own mind and energy. Nothing. This is the energy exchange that you get when you work with me. This is it every time. The energy exchange that I offer changes people's lives. Again, not because I'm better than you, because I reflect already what's in you and strip away all the other things that don't serve you. So my message for you today, from my soul to yours, if you're an educator, if you're a parent, if you're a teen, if you are a college kid, If you are someone that found me today, my message to you following listening this is to feel that, feel this exchange right here, right now, every day. Remind yourself who you really are, unconditional love. As always, if this resonates with you, if you feel this and it helps you in some way, like, subscribe, Share with someone, share with a parent, share with a teenager. Remind yourself every day through this who you really are and what you're capable of. There are links below that have all my resources, and there's really exciting things in the coming weeks around back to school that I am offering parents and teens and families. And I'm so grateful that you're here with me today. From my heart to yours. Never underestimate the power that you have to live the life you want to be living.
Thank you so much for being here today. If this episode resonated with you, or if you heard yourself somewhere in it, that is not an accident. You are meant to be here. Come discover more about me and my work at theteenageguide.com. Or follow along wherever you are. And if this episode helped you, share it with one parent who needs to hear it. A like and a subscribe means more than you know. And as always, never underestimate the power that you have as the parent, because you are the teenage guide too.
