🤔 Clearing limiting beliefs? Limiting structures, and creating empowering environments & habits...

Let's talk about limiting beliefs. I have a different view about it, I think, than a lot of the people who are watching this. I tend to attract others who are more spiritually minded or metaphysical, open to those kinds of things. And therefore, you know, a lot of you here probably do work on limiting beliefs or clearing them, you know, upgrading your beliefs, etc. Now I had actually written a whole article about this a couple years ago and I was just revisiting it. I made some updates on it. And then as I was thinking about it, I realized there's something else I want to communicate about this whole thing about limiting beliefs that wasn't written in the article. So I'm going to share with you something that I haven't yet written. Let me know if this is helpful. So the article originally talked about how limiting beliefs, you know, the problem with limiting, the problem with only working on limiting beliefs or primarily working on them is that because beliefs are intangible. And number one, beliefs are intangible. So they could, you know, take shape in lots of different ways, right? Physical, like this desk is only one shape, right? Unless I like somehow physically break it down. But beliefs can take shape and then can enter our minds at any given time. And number one, that's beliefs are intangible. Number two, fighting or trying to get rid of something brings attention to that thing and can have the effect of actually multiplying or strengthening it. So when you try to either fight or clear your limiting beliefs, it's like trying to, well, it's kind of like clearing dust. You know, you're trying to clean your room and you start clearing it and you're like, oh no, this other part of it I haven't cleaned. You start noticing all the aspects of the room that are at least slightly dirty. Do you know what I mean? Whereas if you, well, my room is a little bit messy here. You can't even see the floor. But if I didn't care so much about cleaning the room or clearing the room, I. It doesn't really bother me. Do you see what I mean? And I just go on and continue building my six figure business or whatever it is. But if someone, like I said, were extremely detailed about cleanliness and they kept focusing on that, they would see all kinds of things that they need to adjust and think, you know. So to me that's kind of like limiting beliefs. You, you either fight or clear them or try to upgrade them. You're continually focusing on this intangible substance that can easily multiply as you more and more Focus on it. What you focus on tends to expand. Ironically, that includes limiting beliefs and trying to clear them. So I'm not saying don't do it. I'm just saying that's really just the first step. I'll tell you what I think is even more important than clearing or working on limiting beliefs is to work on your limiting structures. And let me explain what that means. Now, in the original article that I wrote, I only said that limiting structures were habits. You know, habits of action. You know, you, for example, let's say you have a habit of. You have a limiting belief that you can't create. Well, it's because you don't have a habit of trying to create. And if you don't even try in a loving environment while your limiting beliefs are, are, you can be cleared, but then they'll keep coming back because you don't have the habit of actually doing it. So I want to be more clear in this video about what I mean. So when I say limiting structures, they are broken down into several, several areas. The primary limiting structure is your. Your actions. So we'll use the example of. Well, I'll use my own example because I can, I can stand by my own examples. I used to have a limiting belief most of my life that I can't write because part of the reason is because I, you know, we, we immigrate. My family immigrated from Taiwan to the United States when I was in first grade, in the middle of first grade. And so when I came here, I was still learning the language. And I felt behind. I felt like I was behind everyone else who was already very obviously fluent, even kids that are 6 to 7 years old fluent in the native tongue. And so I was very shy in all these ways and, and I always struggled with writing. So all my life I felt like I had writer's block and that that belief stuck with me for years because even through school, get this. So part of the. Another. So let me, let me first, let me give you this. The overview of limiting structures. Living structures are your habits of action. Yes. But also very much your social environment. Your social environment is huge. Limiting structure or liberating structure and then also your physical environment. Right. So, you know, if you, let's. The physical environment is pretty obvious if you are in a physical environment where, where, like you're in a room that's musty and it's, it's. It's hard to concentrate because you just don't have clean air to breathe or you're in a room that's dark. You don't have good lighting. Those things affect your mood, obviously, and it affects your cognitive function. And so if you just get out of a musty and dark room into a bright and clean feeling room, right, in terms of at least the air, you're going to think differently. You're going to feel differently. That limiting structure may actually clear your limiting beliefs without you even working on your limiting belief. Do you see what I mean? So the physical environment is huge for, for that. So this is why I'm so grateful to work in a, in this home office where I'm literally facing a large window and I'm, I'm getting natural light all the time. And that's very good for. Yeah, that's a, that's a liberating structure. You might say right now, what about the, So I, let me go backwards here. The physical environment, super important. The social environment is also really important because back to my example of writing. And by the way, I'll use, I'll use both examples. I'll use writing and I'll use. Oh yeah, I'll just use. Yeah, use writing and I'll use speaking. Okay. I, growing up I, I thought I had writer's block and I also thought I had stage fright. You know, I could never speak in front of people. And both of them came as a result, they were, they were, they were grown as a result of having, like I said, immigrated here feeling behind in terms of language and just in terms of, you know, I grew up most of my elementary school childhood years where I was, I was one of the only minorities in my whole neighborhood. It was very white, upper upper middle class neighborhood and I was one of the only minorities they've ever seen. And so because of that, it was hard for me to make friends. It was hard for me to be cool like the others, I guess. And I was just a shy kid growing up because I, I'm, you know, I'm, I'm the youngest in my family. My two brothers are much closer in age and, and here I am, like they're, the two of them are much closer in age. And then years later I came into the world. So I always grew up in a family where I was told to be quiet. Like I, you know, because they knew what they were talking about. The, the two brothers, older brothers, were able to communicate better with the parents. They were able to make family decisions together. And I, I was still too young and I try to give my opinion. I was told to be quiet. So the limiting structure of the social environment kept both at Home and at school kept me very shy in terms of speaking and also in terms of writing. And writing and speaking were both, you know, all throughout school. What is writing? Writing is feeling the pressure of having to perform to get a grade. If I didn't get a good grade, I couldn't get into, you know, a good school. Schools in the future and my parents would not be happy and, and you know, I would be ashamed and all that stuff. Right. Like, writing was very pressure driven and I was writing on things I didn't care much about and it was great and all that stuff. So that was not a good social environment to learn writing, to learn to overcome, to have the joy of writing and speaking was the same way by. Whenever I got in front of a class, I was the only one who looked like me. And you know, and, and you know, the kids, of course, growing up, kids are always, especially, you know, these days, I think there's much more awareness of bullying. But when I was growing up, you know, in the 80s and 90s, bullying was normal and you know, sneering at maybe even these days, I don't know. But anyway, so growing up in those social environments, the writing and speaking were very difficult for me. And it wasn't until. I'll go first with the writing here. It wasn't until I challenged myself and both the writing and speaking were solved in this way. I challenged myself to make 100 days of content where I made a short video and I wrote something short to go along with the video. And I challenged myself and I did it in this. I created a private Facebook group and invited my friends and colleagues to support me there. And I just said, hey, this is where I'm learning. I'm learning how to speak, I'm learning how to write. And I did that for, for 100 days. I took the weekends off and by, you know, really by like video slash blog post number 30 or 40 or whatever, I was feeling like I was getting into the groove and I was starting to shed those fears because every day I had to make one. No matter what. No matter what, I had to make one. And it was in a, a loving social environment, an encouraging social environment that, that, that took place. And so limiting physical environment. We talked about that. Limiting social environment, right? Get yourself into a loving private Facebook group. Recruit a few of your most supportive friends and colleagues to help you get over the fear of writing, get over the fear of video, because just you're just asking them to support you. Please be supportive. I'm really, I think I'm a terrible writer. I don't write consistently because I'm always judging myself. I'm always not knowing what to say. I think it's not going to be perfect enough. Whatever it is that your. Your fears are about or showing up on video, I got over those by having a loving social environment. And then finally, you know, we got physical environment, limiting, limiting versus liberating physical environment, limiting versus liberating social structure. And then limit, limiting, limiting or liberating habit, structure, actions. So this is like, let's talk about this. So even if for some reason you can't change your physical environment or you can't change your social environment, some of us live in or work or live in, you know, constrictive or. Or even. Yeah. Not supportive social environments, we can still work on our liberating actions. Okay, so here I want to suggest that continual, gentle exposure to the positive habit you wish to develop, the new behaviors you wish to take on, continuous gentle exposure to the positive habit or the new behaviors you want to take on is what I mean by changing the structure of action, turning it from a limiting structure of action to a liberating structure of action. So this is where, like I said, a lot of people who work on their living beliefs, they make the mistake of just stopping there. So some of you right now are watching who are coaches and healers about limiting beliefs. Wonderful. I applaud your work and I hope you will tag on this additional coaching and healing for your clients and your students. Don't just stop at clearing limiting beliefs. You've got to help them plan their liberating structures. Like I said, liberating structures of action, liberating structures of social environment and liberating physical structures as well. Okay, so structures of action, meaning if you. Let's say you're helping. Let. Some of you are healers, some of you are students or clients of healers. Let's say you are trying to liberate someone's shyness, you know, the fact that they. They don't produce content consistently, even though for their business. And some of you, I'm talking to you for your business, you know that it would be beneficial if you showed up in an authentic way on a consistent basis, whether it's on video or in writing or podcasts or whatever. But you're just not consistent and you think it's limiting beliefs. Oh, I'm not good enough. Oh, who, who am I? Why, why bother? Who am I to say these things when so many other brilliant people have said it already? I don't Know how to, how to be clear. I haven't gotten my ducks in a row and told my message, my story in a perfectly branded and structured way. All these limiting beliefs, right? You think you got to work on those and go ahead, work on them if it helps you to then create liberating structures. Don't stop at limiting beliefs. You got to keep going. Okay. The limiting beliefs can work as you, as you work on them. It's kind of like back to the example that I gave you earlier of like cleaning the room. Let's say you are trying to create a more liberating physical environment, physical structure. And you go, oh my gosh, my room is a mess. You know, I got to air this place out. Got to get some more lights, right? Great. Once you clean the room and get the things now what if you don't take positive action within the room? The room is just going to get messy again. You see what I mean? It's ultimately down to your liberating actions. And the limiting thoughts are just. It's kind of like a dirty room. It'll get dirty again if you don't have liberating actions. The actions are what keeps like showering you, you yourself get dirty until you shower and then you're clean. But if you just the same thing, it's like you, you clear your limiting beliefs, but it's really the actions that empower a more positive and uplifting structure of belief system. So I'm almost suggesting here that, well, this is really my, this is my empowering belief. This is my liberating belief that I'm going to plant within you. And planting the seed of belief within you right now is that your actions shape your beliefs more than your beliefs shape your actions. Let that sink in for a moment. Up to now, you probably have had what I believe is a limiting belief that your beliefs shape your actions would shape your destiny. You know, you've seen that whole thing, oh, you change your thoughts and then therefore you change your, you know, words, and then your words change your actions and your actions change your, you know, destiny, blah, blah, blah, blah. And yes, logically it makes sense, but the problem is people stop. People get stuck on the changing their thoughts. And that's. And, and it's. See, ironically, it's safer to change your thoughts than to change your actions. You see what I mean? That's why it's, it feels fun. May be fun, empowering to work on your limiting beliefs. Clear. Limiting beliefs, clear. And then you work on that. But if your coach isn't helping you take the limiting, take the liberating actions. It's like cleaning the room and letting it get dirty again, right? Oh, you got just clear limiting beliefs. How often do you clear limiting beliefs. But are you taking actions? Because like I said, I think the actions, if you take the actions and habituate good actions, you actually end up clearing your limiting beliefs by default. Because now you're focusing on actions, rather focusing on the beliefs. So let me, let me, let me go back to the example of let's say you're shy or you're not consistent with creating content. You think that you're limiting beliefs. No, I say it's your actions. The George, my limiting beliefs are preventing me from taking action. No, no, that's not true. Your actions, your lack of a plan for the action and okay, fine. Being in a positive social environment, like I said, all these things are connected and all these things help. If you want to work on the mini beliefs, go for it. But what I care about, if I were your coach, I would just keep looking at your actions and then, sure, if you have a hard time planning or taking action, then we could look at these other things. But still the action needs to be carefully planned. This is where your coach needs to come in and help you plan really good. A good action plan, good action plan isn't. All right, let's clear limiting beliefs. And now you're going to commit yourself to, you know, posting three times a day online and you never get, if you don't do that, you're a failure. No. Right. Usually continuous, gentle exposure to the positive action that you want to inhabit is the way through. In my opinion, that has a default mode of clearing limiting beliefs as well. Again, limiting beliefs. It might help you calm you, you know, gives you more confidence. But you got to take the action. You got to design a good plan for the action. So back to the content. So instead of saying you're a failure if you don't take on my 100 day challenge. No, no, no, no. Let's take on a once a week content challenge and we'll do it in a loving environment. So that's part of the plan is get yourself a loving, supportive environment of people who are going to cheer you on and look for your once a week content however you want to do it, writing or video however, and then, and then that kind of loving, supportive accountability along with a very reasonable plan. Not something award winning video, award winning article. No, no. Just going to commit to making a three minute video up to, up to three minutes a week or however long. If you're long winded like me, you could take the Take that limiting structure out of don't worry about one minute. Don't worry about the Instagram reel. Don't worry about the, you know, it's only one minute. Don't worry about if you're long winded like me. Take that limiting structure out and say, I'm just going to talk on video until I'm done. That's going to be my structure. Liberating structure right now. You see what I mean? You got to plan out the liberating action structure so that you can actually get into whatever next new behavior that you want. So I hope this is helpful. And like I said, I have changed my mind over the past couple years. I used to, I used to downplay. Oh, you never work on limiting beliefs. That's a waste of time and money. Only work. No, I get it. Limited beliefs does calm the nervous system and it does give you the confidence and the inspiration to to get to the next step. Have your coach or healer or someone help you design a good action structure and a social structure and if needed, a physical structure so that you can actually go all the way through the chain to new behavior and new ways of being. So I hope this helps. Thanks for joining me and always open to your comments and questions below. Thanks a lot.