Inauthentic sales conversations, or what I learned from calls where *I* was the prospective client

I was curious about how sales is being done these days. And so recently I purposely contacted several sales experts. Sales. These are people who teach how to do selling successfully. These are separate people. And they have, you know, YouTube channels and podcasts that are doing quite well about selling. So I was like, what if I could be a prospective client and just to see how they sell to me. So I did. I went through their application process to get an exploratory call. And then the day came, I got excited to have that experience of being on the other side of a sales conversation. And I'll tell you what happened. These two calls were remarkably similar. So immediately I. You know, it's like, you might say, well, if. Were they both quite effective? No, I was actually. I was surprisingly disappointed by how these sales leaders were treating me as a prospective client. So here's what happened. First of all, both of those people, neither of them took, like, the three to five minutes to research me before the call. I mean, I even filled out their application form and everything, and I feel like they barely even read it. But if they spent just another three minutes to Google me, I'm not hard to find on Google, all right? If they Googled me, they would have not needed to ask me certain questions. And I'm like, that is really, really basic info that's, like, on the homepage of my site. And so, number one, immediately, I already felt like they didn't really care about that conversation. Maybe they have so many sales calls that they just feel like they don't have time to research people anymore. They just try to charm them into buying on the call. But, yeah, that's what my experience was. And then secondly, I was surprised how scripted both conversations were. What I could tell they were doing was they were, number one, trying to expand my pain. They try to figure out what the problem was that I came to them for, because I was genuinely interested in working with either or both of them. I'm like, if they're really good at sales, maybe I'll learn something from them. And so I was like, I was there as a genuine prospective client, and I was deeply disappointed that they were basically using the traditional sales playbook. Expand the person's pain, try to talk about how wonderful they themselves were and what they did for their clients and how wonderful it would be if my life would be if I worked with them and all that stuff. And then they use scarcity. Like, hey, listen, if you sign up during this call, I'm going to give you this amazing bonus that you can't have, you know, if you. Unless you sign up now. And it's just. I was just scratching my head. I guess that's what conventional sales is. It's never changed. It hasn't changed. I mean, this is. This is what from the 1960s. What is this? It's never changed. And so I guess I'm glad to say that the way I do selling is very different. And I guess there's a place for me to talk about this. So let me share with you what the alternative. Well, first of all, I'll say one more thing. The overarching feeling I got from those conventional sales experts is there's a power over others dynamic. They are trying to control me as a prospective client, manipulate me through certain emotions and thought processes until I'm like putty in their hands. And I'll do whatever they say, oh, I'll sign up for whatever you want me to sign up for. This is power over others. This is psychopathic. I mean, I don't think they're psychopaths. I don't think they're narcissists in real life. I don't know. Maybe they are. But it's like so many business experts and marketing people are essentially psychopaths when they're doing marketing and sales. Very subtle psychopaths. They're not out there killing people, but they are manipulating people through the persuasion tactics, psychology, and they're narcissists. Okay, so. But in real life, when they're treating their family and friends, I don't think they are. It's just they don't realize that they're being that in business. No, it's not just business. Let me now explain to you what I think a better alternative is, which is. Let me be just real simple about this. What if we just simply tried to bring love into the conversation? Genuine caring for the other person. So by the end of the conversation, they feel like they have been heard and they have been cared for. Whether or not we make the sale is secondary. That's what I hope. We can approach these kinds of conversations with prospective clients, whether or not they sign up today. No, because if we start thinking in that way, we're going to become psychopaths too, and need to manipulate them in certain ways to get them to sign up as soon as possible. No. Remember that every conversation you have with someone, especially with prospective clients, it may be the only. The only conversation you ever have with them. And so do you want them to have a feeling that you loved them, or do you want them to have a feeling that you were just trying to get them to sign up or something. Like, if I say it that way, then of course you say, yes, I want the person to feel loved. Who doesn't? Of course. Right. But it's like what? We forget this. And so the next skill, sales conversation you have with a prospective client. Do your best to empathize, to really ask questions in a way that you really understand what they're going through. Show them a sense of genuine caring. And if you feel through your asking the questions that, wow, this is someone that you really want to help, that you really want to work with, that you're genuinely excited, then let that enthusiasm bubble through and say, hey, this is the kind of thing I love doing with clients. Do you have any questions about how I work with clients? So that's the magic question I'll leave you with. Five minutes before the end of your sales call. This is the only selling you ever need to do. Five minutes before the end, ask them, do you have any questions about how I work with clients? Now, do that only if you really feel like this person would be a good client for you. You have a sense of like, wow, I would love to work with this person. Ask the question, do you have any questions about how I work with clients? And if they're eager to work with you, they will have questions. And then you answer them honestly and you answer them with, again, caring. By the end of the conversation, may they feel like they've been with a human being that is worth getting to know, that is worth uplifting in this world because you've made them feel cared for and loved. And isn't that the most important thing, by the way? Isn't that going to be much more likely to get you word of mouth and sales? Yes, by the way, also. But who cares if you brought love to the moment? That is what matters the most. So I hope this is helpful. Thanks for watching.