The Visibility Cycle for Soulpreneurs -- Anyā Likhitha Interview ✨
In this 45‑minute interview, host George Kao talks with Anya Likhitha about the challenges solopreneurs (or “soulpreneurs”) face when trying to stay visible while remaining authentic and emotionally safe. Anya shares her personal story – a challenging family background, chronic illness, a non‑binary identity, and a transition from corporate work to solo business – and explains how those wounds surface as a “vulnerability hangover” after posting or speaking publicly. She introduces a cyclical model of visibility that moves between two polarities: Resourced Movement (showing up from a place of energy, excitement, and internal safety) and Protective Movement (retreating when the body signals exhaustion or anxiety). The model is framed as a hygiene practice: after each act of showing up, the creator deliberately engages in self‑regulation rituals (breathing, muscle tension‑release, music, journaling, tea, gentle massage, etc.) to signal safety and build a habit‑reward loop that rewires the brain away from anxiety‑driven checking of notifications. Anya also presents six visibility archetypes – Safety Watcher, Energy Evaporator, Identity Unraveler, Rhythm Breaker, Spotlight Evader, and Scriptless Creator – each describing a common pattern of how solopreneurs get stuck. She shows how the archetypes can shift over time and how small, titrated experiments (10‑minute content creation, AI‑assisted drafts, micro‑posts) can move a person from a protective to a resourced state. The conversation ends with practical resources: Anya’s free Substack community “Blumhouse,” monthly gatherings, and her studio AMIA Studios, inviting listeners to join and experiment with guided visibility practices.
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All right. I'm so happy to be here with Anya. She is one of the most supportive, insightful people I want to say I've ever met. And I've been. She's been in various, you know, we've been various kind of programs and communities together. And I've just. Just been really enjoying Anya seeing how you. How you show up and. And how you bring lots of wisdom from your background into the work of soulpreneurship, as I like to say. So the conversation today, I think, should be interesting for a lot of fellow soulpreneurs, because it. We're talking about visibility and how is it possible for especially those of us who are a bit more sensitive, you know, a lot of soulpreneurs are, to keep showing up and being visible. There's something I like to mention every now and then, which is the idea of vulnerability hangover. You know, this experience of like, you know, I post something, I post a video up, and then I'm, you know, especially if I'm being honest in that video or. Or piece of writing or whatever it may be, and immediately I feel the. The vulnerability hangover. Oh, my gosh. I should delete it. I should delete it. What if. And. And we're going to talk about that. And I. I feel like you have a lot of experience and wisdom to share on how to be with, you know, that. Those. Those parts of ourselves and. And then you even have created this framework about the different archetypes of visibility, especially for solopreneurs. So without further ado, I want to bring you here and maybe you can start with sharing anything you like about your background that might help us to understand what's your connection with solopreneurship or visibility and anything else you'd like to say about yourself.
Yeah. Thank you, George. It's been such a warm, loving community to step into the context for my background is, you know, I grew up in a challenging environment, I would say, where I don't think it's anybody's fault. My, you know, my parents and my family of origin loved me in the way that they could. Very grateful for that. But I don't think that love was nourishing for me. And it was painful, hurtful, and I don't think any of us had any kind of wisdom on how to interact with that. But. But decades later, I see that type of upbringing within me showing up as, you know, illnesses in the body or anxiety or things that may feel like an internal blocker, and it's amplified so much more, especially Because I'm trying to do something that I'm so deeply passionate about. Like, I'm so close to myself and so close to the ideas that I feel like I'm called to channel through me. So as I navigate, like, chronic illness. And also on the topic of identity, somewhere along the way I transitioned to, you know, identifying as non binary. So my pronouns are they, them. There's all these challenges of will. People see me as who I am now versus what they want to see me as. And it's very precious. I think a lot of times we may knowingly or unknowingly be calling up old wounds, and that's just how life is, right? Like, if I'm at the corner of the street and a cyclist brushes past me, and if I'm not grounded enough or if I've had a bad experience with that, I'm just going to be super jumpy about it. And I think with visibility, there's also this sense of, oh, my God, I have this beautiful thing that has come through me that I want to give to the world. I hope the world will receive it. I hope to leave the world a little better tomorrow or the community. And it just feels so close to our truth that it may inadvertently bring up past wounds or brush against it. And I think that, you know, we. I know for a fact that a lot of the solopreneurs and solopreneurs that I've met are the folks to jump into, like, self work, you know, and despite all that, sometimes I think we may not be able to bridge the gap between the learning and the healing into our business. I think it's more of a gap rather than an inability. And I think that's what the visibility archetypes sort of hope to give them more insights or how to locate themselves as they're navigating things so they can do it with more awareness. Because I think they already know how to show up. Oh, you muted.
Yeah, thank you for that. I was just going to say, I. I love how you are integrating everything from sort of awareness about your. Your background and sort of how society is viewing you. And. And yeah, all of that matters to how we feel when we step into visibility for our business. So I'll let you. I'll let you start anywhere you like, because I. I hope that by the end of this video, this interview, our fellow soulpreneurs will feel more seen and also feel more courageous, you know, more willing, more. More supportive, because knowing that we're all in this sort of community, worldwide, community of people, who are learning how to express ourselves authentically, shall we say? So. So, yeah, there's so much to, in your, in your framework about this. Where would you like to start?
I. I want to say, you know, showing up, it's very easy to think about it as, oh, yeah, I'm going to post content and be visible. Like, that's the most obvious definition of showing up and visibility. But I think there's a couple of different layers. One is it is not just connection and being present in community or the world or platforms or content. I think it's also like, if I'm using my business as a vessel for the work that I hope to be doing, am I present in my own business? Like, a lot of us struggle with that. And I think I've also been there. I find myself there in different cities, seasons. You know, do I know what offers to share? Do I freeze when I'm trying to create something? Do I not, you know, under resource myself by, you know, not pricing it? Well, I don't want to call it self sabotage. I think we don't want to sabotage on purpose. It just happens that way. But there's also like, oh, am I putting in the time that my business needs in this moment for it to create, grow? How can I make spaciousness for that? And there's also this layer of am I showing up for myself in the ways that would fill my cup. Historically, I know a lot of the. I mean, we tend to care so much that we give so much from the bottom of our hearts, but are we giving to ourselves? Are we filling our cups? Are we holding our boundaries gently and carefully? I think a lot of them are very important when we're trying to apply it in the sense of a business. Otherwise it's like a leaky bucket. We're putting in all the work and the water is just draining and draining and draining. Even if some of people come in, even some revenue comes in, it just feels draining, whether in attention or energy or presence or even maybe profits, there might be none. And in which case there is a question of why the structure of a business when it could have been something else. And I think that's what I want to call towards visibility. The other thing I also want to share is maybe because we see in snapshots, either we see people showing up very actively and then we fast forward and then they have results, or we see people who see themselves not show up fast forward and they don't see results, so they see only snapshots. So I think in our minds we might make a leap as visibility as a very linear thing. It's like I don't show up, so I don't get results. I show up, so I should get results. I don't think it's that linear, to be very honest. What are your thoughts about that?
Oh my gosh. Yeah, thank you for naming that because I. If, if only it were that. I mean, if only it were that predictable, I guess is, is what people who teach marketing, myself included and you know, please, whenever you catch me doing this point, point this out, tend to suggest some kind of a linear relationship between, hey, just do this and then you'll be happy, rich, healthy, forever, you know, kind of thing. But the reality is that whatever formula you, you get, every, for every person, the situation will look different and how it's applied and the timeline particularly, especially how it's applied and as well as a timeline will look different sometimes for some people, dramatically different. And so it's like any principle rule, formula, method has to be held lightly. And like you said, the snapshots work really well on, you know, Instagram or social media where it's like the before and after I did this and look what happened. And so it gives us the, this illusion that, oh, therefore if I do that then I'll get the same results as they do. But reality is there's a lot of self development number one. But number two, there's just a lot of experimentation and, and timeline uncertainty for, for everybody. And so we just have to continue to. I always, I mean, you, you have to learn through action. So it's like you take action, you learn about what the timeline for yourself actually might be, you know, and what, what part of the method or formula, whatever works best for you and what parts discard. It's. Anyway, so visibility is not one thing. And that's why I'm really glad you're, you're bringing forth this. Yeah. This sort of integration, wisdom, gentleness to it. Yeah.
Yeah. And I want to introduce this idea of visibility as like a cycle. It's, you know, just like the moon shines and then the moon hides. We inhale and then we exhale. The waves come crashing to the shore and then they retreat. Everything is in cycles. And I want to introduce the idea of visibility also in cycles because I don't think we were always meant to be on or in action of doing something or being seen in a certain way or being exposed in a certain way. I think we need, like, I would think of it as hygiene rules. Like, okay, what is my Visibility, hygiene, what do I need to retreat and what do I need when I show up? And if we do this reliably, like, you know, with full flow, like almost like you're driving down the visibility highway and there's no traffic, you're flowing through very easily, then there's no stuckness, then we are very deeply aware of our habits, where we are exactly on this highway, what will get us to the next phase or the next location and even our timing of it and just a deeper intuition and listening to our body, mind and spirit and even what the business and the market asks of us. But the reality is we're living in this world where everything is so amped up that we can't even hear ourselves, let alone be intimate and know what our rhythms are or what our habits are. So I think if I could share a couple of examples of how it started for me, this has been almost like a decade of working through with myself because I experienced almost like relational collapse. I would be really afraid to be in relationship with others, even with myself. And I think it's rebuilding that trust of feeling safe in connection. And visibility is truly that. Feeling safe, feeling open in connection. And I'm sure those of people who are doing nervous system work also know that if you're in an open state, state regulated, grounded and more social, that's when we show up our best. And the nervous system is not meant to be in that place all the time. We're supposed to down regulate, wind down. So it's kind of like a mode we go into and then come step back. And the more we practice it, the more we know how to move through it with flow. And so for me, there was a period in my life when most of my friends were online. When I was a young teenager, you know, social media was the hot thing. And that was also when I was still in my family of origin. And I recall I had like a few years of really distressing mental health challenges. And I would frequently use social media to call out or sound out for plea as like a, hey, you know, look at what's happening to me, look at what I'm expecting. And I don't think I'm a stranger. Like lots of people may still be using it that way or may still remember the times when they may have done it. And I recall then there would be this side where people are trying to scrub the social media off of. You can't present whatever's happening behind the scenes this way. You can't share your truth that way, et CETERA and so that created this internal sense of, you know, I can't show up on social media as I am. It was just a memory in my brain. But fast forward, like when I wanted to build my own business and I was showing up, my first, you know, proper business was I was trying to be a commercial photographer. And at that time I was trying to build my business and my portfolio. I was on Instagram and I recall I would post these beautiful pictures and then people would respond and they would DM me or comment and my body will literally freeze and I would not respond to anybody and I would just close the app and run away. It was almost like I was disappearing from my own life. I don't think it may need to be this extreme, but there's versions of it. Like even now when I post, I'm constantly like refreshing and seeing. Is someone like this? Is someone going to like this? I left a comment here. I wonder what that person is going to respond.
Yeah, many of us can relate to this. It's not just you. Yeah, for sure.
Right. And so something that I've been trying these days is, okay, I showed up, I did something that was brave, even if it's a micro moment of bravery. And now the hygiene is now let my body know, okay, we're now safe. We have now retreated. So it's like practicing visibility and then also practicing retreat. So we want to finish that movement of the cycle. So what I tend to do is I tend to sit myself down. I'm like, well done. You did so well. It's like a. And then, you know, it's also not ignoring the part of me that's nervous. I'll talk to myself like, oh, yeah, yeah, I can see you're a little nervous. What can we do? What can we do to support you? Sometimes I will put on some nice music and jiggle to a song just to release that nervous energy. Sometimes, you know what, you know, like, you know, you do these muscle exercises where you contract, tighten the muscle and release. It's kind of like signaling to the body that the threat is over. Or sometimes I try to scan left and right so it's almost like you're scanning out in the field for almost like a predator of some sort and let your eyes finish doing the thing. There's a lot of things that may work for some people that may not work for some people. Sometimes I also do gentle self massages. Sometimes it looks like sitting down and doodling or journaling or lighting a candle or drinking a warm cup of tea. Or coffee. But it's really to give ourselves that sense of safety. And I think eventually we learn that, oh, every time I show up, I'm building evidence that nothing is collapsing, that nothing has ruined my life, nothing is threatening me. Maybe someone disagreed with me, but who cares? They're not in my life. Their voice doesn't matter, but who cares? So then I'm like, yeah, I have my nice cup of coffee to look forward to. I'm like, I. I'm so excited.
Yeah, I love this because you're essentially creating a habit reward pathway where instead of I showed up and then the immediate reward and result is, you know, vulnerability, hangover, or, like, embarrassment or like. Or like, anxious checking of notifications. You're building this pathway where it's like, I showed up and then now it's time to, you know, celebrate a bit or reward myself a bit or just, like you said, regulate self. Regulate a bit, self care a bit. I just. I think it's brilliant because if we keep on making that connection, then visibility becomes having a different meaning, a different feeling when we. When we think about it. Yeah, that's amazing.
We truly embody a different presence. And I think people feel that. Like, one of the things that I notice, myself included, why I love joining your work retreats, why I love being in community that you curate and create, is there's just. Even if no words are said, there's this beautiful presence of openness, of being in community, and I think our bodies can sense it. So when we show up in business and create offers from that place, people can truly sense that openness and ease and joy and all of the beautiful things.
Yeah, this is amazing. Part of what you do is you are a designer. I think you're. That's one of the. One of the strengths that you have. So I. I want to make sure that in this video, we show some of the slides that you prepared that are related already to what you've been talking about, because I think it. Yeah, those are some. Some simple but beautiful diagrams. I think that would help people to understand this. This visibility cycle that you have. Do you want to share the screen? You want me to let me share the screen? Yeah, go ahead and share when you're ready. Thank you.
All right, so the cycles is like an infinity loop, which basically is like. It has two polarities. Think of it like a magnet. There's a left side and the right side. Both of them want our attention and our presence at the same time. So depending on whichever side we're pulled towards, we'll go there. But truly, for us to move through it with ease is to practice flowing through both sides with ease. And there is this, you know, if you can see, there's two terms called resourced movement and protective movement. And what I want to say is, so let's say that for whatever reason I decide I'm going to go all out, you know, full. Yeah, I'm going to give my 1000%. I have never done this, but I will do 100 posts in 10 days.
That makes me exhausted just hearing that. But.
I have set myself such ridiculous goals before. But also I think it's just the context of what our capacity is versus what, you know, is it the right size goal or what our body can support us through? Let's say I show up in that way and when I show up, I have a lot of excitement. So I'm actually pretty resourced in that way because I'm feeling like I have that internal energy to support me. But if you notice, the goal for that is it's very obvious that I will burn out very quickly. Right. I will run out of breath, I may run out of ideas, I may not have enough downtime. The hygiene that I wanted to give myself, ideally to be able to regulate myself properly. So what's going to happen is instead of feeling like, okay, I remember you sent an email that said, take a break before you need to. That is resourced movement versus I'll take a break because I was forced to. Either the circumstances. It's protective retreat.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure. Yeah, absolutely. It's like having. Giving ourselves the, the permission to rest only when we're exhausted is not a good. It's not a good loop. It's not a good habit. Yeah. But protective movement, I love this. So, yeah, the showing up and we, we need to then. Yeah, go ahead.
Yeah. So when, you know, let's say I get exhausted and I'm like, oh my God, I cannot continue. But because my body's like, you can't continue. I will finally accept that my body can't continue. And then I will flow into resource move, you know, retreat just because my body forced me to. Right. Like that anxiety or the burnout of exhaustion hits differently. But it was the protective mechanism that initially moved me over here versus, you know, like a choice that I was like making with a knowing, loving way that I'll give myself permission. Now when I stay in that sense of retreat, our body, mind and spirit is recalibrating. It's in that I'm in my cave. I'm safe. And then eventually that cave starts to feel like a prison because we stayed in there too long. And that's where there's a protective movement of showing up. So even showing up can be a protective mechanism. You'll notice that when a lot of people, including myself, in different stages, I'll be like, oh, my God, I have not posted at all. I really need to post it. Or I. I'll be like, oh, my God, I have a launch. I haven't done it. I really need to do it. It's kind of like external forces, but also that tension of I really need to do it versus this enjoyable space of I have this message. It was so beautiful. I'm so excited to share it with people. It just. It's such a different energy that is resource movement versus protective movement is just this frantic, I need to get this message out kind of thing. So it's kind of like until we relax, it's not resourced.
Right? Yes. Yes, exactly. It's like showing up from a space of what? From a. From. From a space of sometimes desperation or like. Yeah, from any kind of anxious space. It's not sustainable, really. That's. That's really the bottom line. Yeah.
Yeah. And I do want to say the reality is it's hard to be like, I'm free of any anxiety. And we. I mean, there's a little bit of surrender always.
Yes, always.
Acknowledging life has its own pace, but we do the best we can given where we are in this moment. And I think that's really where having the curiosity to sit with ourselves and going, where am I? What do I need? And I think it's also about building evidence that I can keep showing up and finding myself, move through it. I think the movement and flow gives us more confidence that we can do it again and again. Each time I stop, there's like a deeper knowing of, oh, I can do this again, because I know it's been a while, but I can do this again. And this is what gets me moving.
Yeah, it's beautiful. I love it. I love it. And I also notice in. In your slides, you talk about archetypes, and I know that there's. I. I think there's a lot of interest in archetypes. It's helpful for us to understand, you know, what. What pattern we're. We're kind of playing right now. And so I. I'd love for you to share that as well.
Yeah, I'll share a snapshot of archetypes, and I want to say that they are not like a specific identity. I think it's more of a specific. Oh, I might be experiencing that in this season for XYZ reason. We might find ourselves in different locations based on different seasons. The first and most obvious one is the person who feels like there's a safety water within them, which is like visibility is not at all neutral. It feels like raw exposure. You know, they feel like they're feeling shaved. Like, you know, like that friction of being seen creates some rawness and tenderness. And I think it's especially important for solopreneurs because we show up without the masks and the inauthentic things. So it's like, how do we build safety for us to show up as ourselves?
This is really good, by the way. I can relate to this in places. Different places, too. I mean, people might think, oh, George, you're so used to showing up and being visible. Well, it depends on where. I think this is why it's so valuable to have smaller communities where you feel safer. Especially I always tell people, listen, when you first just starting to show up, you don't just, you know, you might not post your honest raw videos to the public, to the whole world on platforms where you're going to get, especially being seen by the way, from maybe even friends and family, you know, where they've known you in a different way. And you might not feel safe sharing of your business authenticity in those places. And so I would say, hey, listen, to start with a safe small group of trusted friends or colleagues, classmates or whatever and like, start practicing sharing there and finding the safety that's there. It's like. So, yeah, just know that. Yeah, I love that you said we. This is not a just a sort of like a lifelong identity, but it's really contextual, I think.
Yeah, yeah, it really is. And I think like, for example, if I'm in a situation where someone reminds me of the bully from high school, I'm not going to feel safe in that room, even if I'm a grown adult. So, yeah, it's really like that. And I think it's just knowing what's going to. Who's our safe people, what kind of people, what rooms, what type of containers, what formats, or even period of time. Like, for example, maybe it feels safe to write for 10 minutes versus like 30 minutes. Feel like I've dropped into a void.
Really nice. Yeah, I like that a lot. Yeah. Or. Or vice versa. Sometimes people freeze up when they only have 10 minutes to write. They're like, there's no way. All right, this Needs four hours or something.
Absolutely like that.
It's like, it's like the time context also matters. Yeah, for sure.
Absolutely. And I think everybody is so different. So, like, it's truly figuring out what it is that, you know, will give you that sense of safety that you can go back to routinely as a familiar reminder of the safety. The next one, and I've been guilty of this many, many times, is of an energy evaporator. You know, it's kind of like I show up once I come out of the gates, like then quickly the energy fizzles out. I can't hold the rhythm. And I was thinking about this when you did your two week challenge and you. How gently you reminded us, you know, this is not supposed to be something that you do two weeks and then let go of. This is something hopefully you build habits around. And so if it feels easy, that's a good thing because then there's chances that you may sustain it. And that was such a beautiful reminder. My internal experience was so different because it was so easy. My brain was so suspicious of it.
So true. It's so true. I'm really glad you brought that, that, that dynamic up because I think it is true for a lot of people. And so, yeah, I mean, this is why people do challenges, right? This is why people like sign up for those or they go to, you know, Tony Robbins events or whatever. It's like they really want to get that energy. And then they, they, they think, okay, this is it. This is, this is my new sort of my new level. But then they realize, okay, there's later on, they realize there is something called stamina where it's like, okay, maybe I haven't built up that stamina yet to, to sustain that, that high level of energy. And so people then blame themselves, like you said, for, for disappearance. Like something was wrong with me. It's like, oh, I guess, I guess I can never do that. No, no, it's well said. Energy evaporator. It kind of evaporated too quickly, but it's still there. That fire is still within you.
Yeah, absolutely. And yeah, it applies to everything, all the way from content and admin to more like social things like holding space for others, being in community or doing something that is so out of our way for our business that is not natural to us. Everything is like, how many times can I make contact with this thing and build familiarity with it? This one is my personal favorite because I feel like anyone who's in their solopreneur journey constantly changes. They're Growing all the time. We're identity shifting and when we're doing that, we're leaving this sense of who I was before and transitioning to this new version. And that may happen so frequently then that transition is disorienting. I don't quite know sometimes how to show up when I'm transitioning. I'm like, oh, oh. So this version of me can now do this and show up in this way. But who am I now? I'm still figuring that part of myself out. How can I show up when I don't know that part of myself yet?
Kind of a thing I want to say. I feel like this is a, I almost want to say lifelong project, but I think it's more like a multi lifetime project. And I actually, even though I. I have an identity, I call myself Authentic Business coach. For years I've used that tagline just because I like abc and it's just I like acronyms and it's crazy. But. But I always try to hold loosely, you know, I hold loosely to the identity. I'm like, well, yeah, but I'm also many other things too, and so are you.
Yeah.
So I tell people, listen, play with an identity and let that be and see how it feels. It's like, it's like putting on some clothes. Like today this feels nice, but tomorrow might be something else. Right. So, yeah, absolutely.
And I think that goes back to the spirit of who we are. We'll find a through line like that essence and eventually feel that. Okay, even if I'm mid transition, this is who I am at the core. And people can see me mid transition in ways that are safe for me. But it's a skill that we learn over time, I think. And we also hold identities a little bit more loosely depending on who we're in front of right now. Yeah, yeah. And this one is called the rhythm breaker. These are the people who buy a lot of the strategies because someone told them that this is the way. And you know, you'll get X number of leads or you'll get X number of clients in X days, or this is the messaging for coaches. And you have to do it this way. I think to give anybody credit, they're just doing the best they can and they thought that was a good choice. But when you try these things and because a lot of solopreneurs have such a deep inner landscape of this is who I am inside, whatever they try, the tactics don't really feel like them. And it's kind of like a disconnect. It's like kind of either a disgust or there's like an inauthenticity. It's like misrepresentation, and there's a misalignment that you can't really put words to. So I think for these people, it's really important to do like, experiments around what to take and what to release when they're trying things. And I think it becomes really important to find what's in alignment and harmony for them, regardless of what it is. Whether it's marketing or a content plan or even the words that they're using and the types of communities that they show up in, I think it's very easy to like, disappear because it didn't feel right. Something about it.
Yeah, I really appreciate you naming this because I always, I always try to mention to people like there, especially in marketing, especially in authentic business, there is no one right way for everyone. I mean, otherwise it wouldn't be authentic. It would just be formulaic mainstream corporate business that might be. Have one right way you're supposed to follow or whatever. But even so, it's very creative. But, but it's like, especially for individuals and solopreneurs, is there one? Is there one way to live life and to grow? No. There's many paths. Many paths up, up whatever pathway of, of development. And yeah, I love that it's like someone is telling you this. I swear this works for me and my clients. But you and your clients might be different than me. You know, it's like, okay, well, I'll. I'll take, Take what, you know, try, try, try, try, and then keep what is. Seems to be in harmony, like you said, and then let go of things that are not. I mean, maybe one day it'll be more aligned for you. Maybe it'll never be, but it's like, yeah, don't, don't. There is no single formula or method for everyone. So, yeah, thank you for that.
Yeah. I think the greatest skill anyone can develop is that internal sense of discernment, of knowing what is a fit for them and what's not and in different seasons. And also something I want to say is people sort of go, oh, marketing, right. Why do I know. I hate that part of the thing where I don't need it, but I need it because my business needs to take off. But I guess the reframe is really. Marketing is in service of our own business's visibility and a service to how we want to share whatever our gifts are with the world. And so it's making that connection for the people who are waiting to receive these gifts through all of the noise that we see out there. And it's really important to remind ourselves of that because otherwise it's going to start feeling like another chore on the task list. And that's why finding curiosity, interest, and go, okay, what is the thing that makes it work for me is so important because that sense of we're not using willpower to power through it. We're going to run out at some point. And that's probably why it's called the rhythm breaker. We disappear. We just need that constant source that feels like a steady hum. And I think it's harder to arrive there. Yeah. And, and the spotlight evader is a particular type of potentially upbringing or maybe certain cultures even, or maybe certain circumstances in life that have taught us that it's not really safe to be in spotlight, or maybe it's not right to be in the spotlight, or maybe someone else should be in spotlight, but not me. And so when the light shines on us or our gifts, it almost feels like I want to shrink and hide inwards like a turtle going to my little cave. I'm like, but if we really want to share our gifts with the world and we want the world to receive it, and I think that's the only way to show up is to learn to stand in our own light and even feel that we have light. I think a lot of people, myself, on many days, struggle to see my own light. That inner light of knowing, of worthiness, of sense, of, yeah, okay, I'm good, I'm enough. I'm priceless myself. You know, my worth is non negotiable, But I don't think it's always easy, especially in this day and age.
Yeah, I really relate to this. Believe it or not, I grew up in. I grew up as the youngest of three kids and my two brothers are only one year apart. And then five years later, I came along. And then we are. My family immigrated from Taiwan to the U.S. when I was only, you know, six and a half, seven years old. And it's like we had no other extended family nearby. We had to figure out how to live in a brand new culture. And so my brothers, you know, learned English a lot faster than my parents. So they were always counseling or helping my parents and I. And sometimes I had opinions and they would say, no, be quiet, you, you, you're just a kid. You don't know what you're talking about. So like, I grew up with that message of, you know what you're talking about don't stand out, you know, be, just be quiet. Just do what you're told. And then in school, like as an immigrant, I, we, we immigrated to Southern California, which back then was pretty much all white. And I was like, well, I was like one of like 5% minorities in, in, in the school, like for all throughout from grade school all the way through high school. And so I was always afraid to shine my light because I was like, I'm, I'm very different from everybody and I'm, you know, they see me as a quiet kid because from my culture I'm supposed to be, you know, nerdy, quiet Asian kid. And, and so I very much relate to this. I had to take a long, it took me a long time to kind of exit this identity because I was, and now you can't believe it when you see me. But, but yeah, I just, I want to say it is, yeah, it's, it's, it's there for a lot of people and it's, and, and evolution is possible.
Yeah, yeah, absolutely. And I think some people look at me and go, Anya, you're so, you're such a natural. I'm like, I don't think I always grew up this way. I was conditioned to be the quiet, submissive child in the house. It takes a lot of courage and practice to show up and be seen and be willing to be seen and. But I think it's possible for anybody.
Thank you for that. Yeah.
The final one I have is the scriptless container is people have a lot of ideas that they want to share and maybe they think in images or they have these internal words in their head or they have like these feelings or they have these ideas that come through. But when it comes time to do something, there's not enough clarity about the format or the container of that experience expression. So they don't quite know how to shape that inner knowing and truth. So, you know, you have lots of these beautiful, seasoned, experienced guides and coaches who, you know, when you put them in a session with their client, they're able to guide them so well. But when you step away, all of that inner knowing is just so visceral that they may not have had time, time to shape language and knowing and insight. They may not have time or practice to name that truth that goes, you know, in session you're really holding space for the person in front of you. But a lot of times when it comes to the so called content or business language or messaging, it can feel really weird because they're like, I don't know how to shape this. And I think that they're not knowing, they're not having practice or not having a specific shape or container there. The truth goes untranslated inside of them.
Yeah, so true. Yeah, it's, it really is a journey too. I like this diagram. It's tangled up, you know, inside. And it's, it is a journey to like find a way through and to kind of untangle and to practice, practice, practice, practice and, and to find, like you said, the right format or the right sort of framing of certain, of what our truth, how our truth is going to come out. So appreciate it. And you have, and then you have one more. That is pretty cool. I want to, I want to make sure we show this one. So tell us. Yeah, this is amazing, right, because you have placed the archetypes into this movement infinity diagram. And so does this mean. Yeah, tell us what's going on here.
I think it just, you know, like there used to be a point when I would sit myself down and every day try to locate where I am or what I'm experiencing. It may change from day to day depending on what I've done or what my internal narrative has been during that week or the month. And so I think just bringing awareness, that location of where am I then helps me get curious about what do I need now? How do I meet myself here to get unstuck? And sometimes it's overcoming resistance, sometimes it's overcoming overwhelm. Sometimes it's more about meeting a certain body based rhythm, for example, or soothing my senses in a certain way. But say, for example, if I, I'm able to identify, you know, one person can be in multiple different places. But let's say that, oh, I, you know, there was a period last year when I, you know, left my previous role. So I was navigating like the identity unraveler where I'm shedding this old identity and stepping into that of a solopreneur. But then I'm also so new to content creation that I find myself to be the scriptless creator. But because my job didn't require me to create content for myself, I only knew how to do it for clients. And I can do it behind the scenes. It's not as much of an exposure as doing it for your own thing. I also found that I am the energy evaporator. And because I kind of tend to feel like social media is unsafe because of my old upbringing, I'm also the safety watcher. And then when I try to show up the rhythm Keeps breaking. When I try to keep showing up and putting myself in the spotlight, I shrink away. So it's really like, oh, my God, how do I begin unraveling this thing? And I think it's just understanding, first of all, compassion, giving ourselves the grace and think, okay, I think we're doing the best we can. And then just take small steps. Very, very small steps. I think it's like, for example, the scriptless creator I can create and not share. It's just trying to experiment with formats in my personal time. Even if it's 10 minutes, 15 minutes play with an AI, I started from there. And then whenever I felt, oh, that looks so nice, I would try to post. And then every time I posted, I was like, oh, my God, I freeze. And then I'm like, I need to practice getting better. Like, deliberately practice showing up and then holding space for myself to soothe down. And then I think, slowly it begins to unravel. Slowly you figure out one spot where you want to start and then move to retreat. So if you're in retreat, try slowly in a safe way to show up and then go back to retreat in the smallest way possible. I think they call it titration, but that might be polyvagal theory or something like that, but it's really just the smallest possible thing. And keep building evidence. I do it and, you know, keep increasing the capacity. And one year later, here I am.
George. I love that. I love it. This is brilliant. And I encourage people to review this. You know, folks, you might want to rewind and kind of work through the diagram again and work through the various archetypes and. And please comment below. Comment below if you like to share with us and us and. And the others who are viewing this. Where are you right now? Where are you right now? Which. Which archetypes. Which part of the cycle do you. Do you relate to the most? And how might you move to another part of the cycle that. That you. You would like to be? So, Anya, thank you so much. I really appreciate you showing up for this and sharing this. So how can people connect with you and work with you? Tell us anything you like about that.
I would love to work with people in small containers or, you know, guided experiments in their business. Currently, I run a substack called the Blumhouse, which is a free community for people where they want to shape their business that meets the soul of their life in a way. So if you're curious and want to learn more in a soft way. Blumhouse. I do like monthly gatherings and writings but otherwise I'm over at AMIA Studios. I will share my email and website and there are, you know, small one off containers or a longer journey if they would like to explore together.
Yeah, I love that. Thank you. And I'll put the links information below the video, up below or above or wherever you find that info or the video. So Anya, thank you so much.
I appreciate you so much. Yeah, I really appreciate this. This was such a warm and safe experience. George, I just want to say, you know, even in showing up publicly, right, I have a feeling my body was like, oh my God, we need to show up for a podcast. I'm going to take away your voice. Let me take away. I was unwell and then I had to do my safety rhythms and support it to bring back the voice.
Right. Like you were just saying before we started recording, like, oh, yesterday wouldn't we would not have been able to do this. And it just happened today. It was so good, good, good going on, sort of doing your own practices and it works. So. All right, thank you so much. And folks, feel free comment below and share with us what resonated with you from this. Thank you so much.
Thank you.
