How To Talk About What You Do (And Why You Shouldn't Call Yourself A Life Coach)

Hello, Facebook, how's it going? Just getting set up here while everyone joins. If you're watching the replay, thank you for watching the replay. Thinking about doing these lives every Thursday at 2pm Eastern time. So now you kind of have a heads up if you're watching the replay and you missed it. That's what I'm hoping to do it if this ends up working out. Hey, Katie, how are you? And I'll ask at the end of the broadcast if this is a good time for people and if they want me to keep doing it. Hey, Kelly, good to have you here today. What we're going to talk about is how to talk about what you do, what you do for work. And we're also going to talk about why using the term life coach I don't think is your best play when someone asks you that question, even if that's what you consider yourself. So we're going to cover those two things. Hey, Kelly. And I want to start by asking you a question before I ask you the question. My encouragement would be that if you really want to tune in for kind of the information today to actually shut down some of your other distractions. I know a bunch of us are popping in and out. Totally cool if you want to do that. Hey, Kerri. But you're going to get the most value if you just soak up the nuggets. You never know when you're going to miss something that would really be helpful. And part of that's going to be just getting present with me. So here is my question for you. Is it possible that your ideal clients, the people who you're most able to serve in the world, would not want to work with you? All right. Is it possible your ideal clients would not want to work with you? The answer, unfortunately, is yes. But it's not because they're not the perfect client for you. It's not even because you could really help them. The reason is something else. And it has to do with your marketing, and it has to do with their perceived value and your perceived relevance to the problems that they're having. And so that's why this question of how do you explain what you do to people is so important. It's something that a lot of coaches stress out about when they start their business, especially. And there's actually good reason to stress out about it. It is important. So we're going to tackle this from a bunch of different directions. I don't know how long I'm going to be going live today, but I'm just going to basically keep going until I've answered all your questions and giving you all the stuff that I've learned around this topic because it's something I struggled with for a long time as well. So the number one question with the number one litmus test, when we're talking about how well do you describe what you do? The number one litmus test of did you do it well? Is are you referable? Are you referable? If I can hear what you do and and think of someone to refer you to, hey, Ross, how are you? That's a sign that you did a really good job explaining what you did. Either I'm interested in using your services or I know someone who I can connect you with. And that test of are you referable? How referable are you? Is a great test to compare whatever you're working with now. However you answer that question now of how do you do what you do? Ask yourself the question, is it easier for people to refer me based on the response that I give? If the answer is no, I'm really glad you're here because we're going to give you some ways to tune up your elevator pitch, however you think about it. And since I mentioned the word elevator pitch, let me talk a bit about why it shouldn't feel like an elevator pitch. Hey Mike, how are you? One problem that people make when they answer the question what do you do? Or they're trying to explain to people the type of work that they do or the type of business they have is they give a really long explanation. They give this like whole long pitch basically about what they do. Two problems with that. First problem is it conveys insecurity. The more you talk, the less secure you seem, right? Because the more you're trying to justify what you're trying to explain. So that's one reason why a long response isn't great. Another reason why a long response isn't great is because you're trying to present this dialed in facade and explained and answered all of their questions all at once instead of making it a two way engagement. And that's a huge problem because the purpose of explaining what you do is not for them to get it 100% right right off the bat. Hey, Amy, right off the bat, you know, they get it. And it's also not for you to seem totally impenetrable or totally like you have it 100% together necessarily. Believe it or not. The purpose of talking about what you do is to create an engagement, to create curiosity, and actually to create a vacuum where they want to step forward and learn more. So if you give this whole long elevator pitch that's perfectly dialed in, that's actually counterproductive. Every moment you spend trying to do that is actually working against you. Hey, Jason. Hey, Rick. It's awesome to see everyone tuned in. Yeah. Amy says I'm sometimes that long winded person because I love to contextualize. So sometimes if we love what we do, we start getting really excited. We want to answer it right away, but notice the urges that come up. Sometimes you get asked that question to justify yourself or to try to explain because you don't want them to misunderstand. The worst way you could describe what you do or explain how you work with people is totally blanked out on what I was going to say. The worst way that you could do it is by talking about who you're not. Like, if you're like, oh, well, like I'm a coach, but I'm not like that type of coach who does this and I'm not this other thing. Don't compare yourself to what you're not. Tell them what you are. So I'm going to give you a formula to do this. And if you've been in the online world, coaching world for any length of time, you've probably heard this formula, but you've had trouble applying it. But we got to start here. The general formula people give for how to explain what you do is I help X type of person do Y accomplish Y result, so I help blank do blank. So you probably heard that before. And it's the most basic kind of way to describe what you do succinctly. And it includes two parts, right? It's the who, the who you worked with and the what. The what you helped them accomplish, the what problem you solved for them. Trouble explaining what you do isn't about wordsmithing or tweaking. It It's a symptom of an overall lack of clarity in your business and in your marketing. So I really want us to get that. That awkward situation when you're having trouble explaining what you do, that is the culmination of a lot of lack of clarity coming together in one awkward moment or you feel uncomfortable or unsure of yourself. It's not about that actual moment. It's about the work that you've done of getting really specialized and understanding who you can help and what you can help them with. And I know that's a bummer already. I'm sensing that people are going to start to get nervous because they're like Wait, do I have to like niche down? People keep saying that, but it doesn't feel right. And then I see other coaches or other people who haven't niched down and they see it seems to be working for them. So like, there seems to be a way I can do it. Here's the bottom line. If you're a coach or if you're really any service provider, you're a solution provider. You're providing a solution. You're making things easier in some way. You're helping someone accomplish something that they couldn't without you. So it's really important to get clear on what is the solution that you're providing. Hey Sarah, how are you? So just as an example, when I started off my business, I usually answer the question of I help X people do Y by I help people find passion at work, right? And that time all I had was the second part. There's kind of two pieces. There's the who and the what. If you can get both really specific, you're golden. If you can get both locked down, that's the best place to be. But early on in my business, I just got the second part and I was like, alright, I help people do work that they're passionate about. So I had that. And that was better than when I was just saying, well, I help people be more successful in their relationships and, and their health and their careers and I just care about personal development, right? People were kind of like, okay, but I don't know, that seems to be everyone, right? So that was helpful. Then I moved towards more business coaching because I realized I loved working with entrepreneurs and it was I help service based entrepreneurs grow their businesses, right? So I had a broader result and then I had a broader group of people. So I was starting to get narrow. And this is what totally natural for you to start to whittle down over time. You're not going to nail it right away, necessarily. And now it's I help coaches fill their client roster, right? Really specific target market, really specific result. Either it's tangible, it's specific, you've either accomplished it or you haven't accomplished it. The number one suggestion I can give you is to start with the result. To start with the specific, tangible, verifiable result that you love getting people. Now, I know especially if you're a coach, lot of the work that you do isn't tangible, it's not verifiable, it's not specific. It has to do with the person's experience in the world day to day. It has to do with, hey, Molly, how are you? Good to see here. So it has to do with things that really aren't that specific at all. And so you might struggle to figure out what's the tangible result. And do I even need to speak to a tangible result? That's not really what I'm in the business of. Here's the thing, it is what you're in the business of when we're talking about explaining to people what you do because you need to meet people where they are. And if you can't meet people where they are, you're never going to be able to give them that transformation that may be more all encompassing, maybe deeper than just that specific result. So figuring out the specific result that you speak to is like providing a channel for your ideal clients to come into the deeper, more transformational work that you do for them. And so you have to figure out what's the problem they think they have, what's the result that they think they want Right now let's speak to that and ultimately, hey, Laura. And ultimately let's get them that. But we're also going to go a lot deeper. The problem is if we start with the deep part, no one's going to know what the fuck we're talking about. So it's just not a good move to make. Right. One of the issues here for people is the scarcity mindset. The mindset of, well, if I get specific about the who or the what, won't it mean some people aren't interested? Absolutely, definitely true that some people won't be interested. But right now no one's interested because you're really fucking vague. So better to have some people be interested, really interested, because it's specific and some people not be interested than everyone kind of being like, oh, I don't really get it and I don't know who I would ever refer to you because it seems really broad. Molly says this is interesting because my company is having a hard time explaining what it is we do. Good stuff. So, Molly, I'm talking about a lot to coaches right now, but this is obviously relevant to all different types of companies. I know yours isn't a coaching company. So again, if you're tuning in just now and you miss the beginning, the ultimate litmus test for how well you describe what you do is are you referable? Could people either say, I want to participate in that or I know someone who would participate in that. If you're not referable, it's a sign that you have it nailed to how to Explain what you do. So, back to this results piece I mentioned. It's best to start with the what sometimes, not the who. Because if you just have the what, you're good. If you can. For example, if I just said I help people fill their client roster, that would be better than just saying I help coaches. Right. Because it speaks more to the result or problem that people have. So how do you figure out what your result is, what your channel is for people when they're just coming in so that you can. It's kind of like you want to have the medicine and then that peanut butter around the medicine that's like the gooey, sugary, like, tasty thing. And then you feed that to your dog. Like, if you just feed the pill to your dog, they're not going to eat the medicine, but if you coat it in peanut butter, which is what the dog wants. Back. Hope we don't have too many tech issues. So how do you figure out what your result is that you provide the best thing to do? If you've already worked with clients and have case studies, you're in a great place. You're further along than when it was just an idea and you were trying to figure this stuff out in your head. If you already have success stories, use those. And I want you to look at what are the specific tangible results that people leave me with? Like out of their whole testimonial where they're saying awesome stuff and they're excited about all the deep transformation you did, what's actually back. Sorry, guys. Thanks very much for sharing. I understand you don't want to start with the deep stuff, but the clients I want to enjoy working with attract the ones that want to do deeper work of transformation. Therefore, isn't it important to share that up front? Yeah. Know your target market. Right. So for the vast majority of people, they might not be ready to go deep right away. Sorry. And Mike said being specific is important, especially in fields that are flooded. Yeah. So Mike's saying the more specific you can get, and the more specialized you can get in crowded fields, the better shape you're in. I'm going to go set up back where I was. So I guess speaking to. Well, if my ideal client likes to go deep, then wouldn't I be not speaking to the right person if I was just talking about a shallow external result? Here's what I believe. At the end of the day, the things people are willing to pay for typically are always tied to a specific tangible result. There's something that they want specifically to Change. So it's like, alright, do I want more peace and well being? Sure, right? Everyone does. But for someone coming to you, it's going to be because every day when they wake up, they feel nauseous every single day. And it's interfering with their work, their career, their relationships, their health, all this different stuff. And so we need to speak to that specific result because that's the thing that sometimes ultimately is going to cause them to pick up the phone, call you and hire you. So we want to speak to both things. You know, so what I used to say in kind of a former iteration of my business is I would say I help service based entrepreneurs grow their business by mastering their mindset, right, or their inner game. Now that spoke to both pieces. It was to grow their business, which is the specific tangible thing they wanted. And, and the inner game piece which spoke to, okay, we're not necessarily just working on the business plan or something like that. It's something to go deeper. So if I'm struggling with that stuff, I know this is the right person so you can use the depth as a differentiator. But I'd say, I mean, unless here's the deal, if the way you're describing it is working great for you already and getting you as many clients as you need and your business is making as much money as you need, you don't need to change how you explain what you do at all. You're good. But if it's not, then this might be an area where you can kind of grow in. So a couple things, one you're welcome to at any point you guys can just leave a comment of like, if you're feeling really brave of how you explain what you do and I'm happy to critique it, think, you know, tell you, is it good? Is there room to get more specific things like that? Always happy to do that. So one thing I want to share on this topic of explaining what you do and then we're going to talk about why life coaches, you know, isn't necessarily the best description. When I was at a seminar run by Seth Godin, had a really interesting moment where I was fighting back against this and I said, you know, my number one problem right now is I feel like I can't explain adequately what I do. And he asked me what I do and I gave not a very good explanation. It was very, it was vague and it was also talking about the level of depth, but in a way that wasn't easily understood. He was like, okay, so are you a business coach? And I was like, yeah, but it's like, I'm not like that type of business coach. And it's kind of nuanced. And he was like, look, just call yourself a business coach. Like, put yourself in a bucket. We don't want to put ourselves in buckets because it feels really uncomfortable. But the truth is, and this is what Seth said, if you don't put yourself in a bucket, they're going to put you in the bucket that wasn't of your choosing. So either you choose a bucket to fit yourself into, or they're going to choose one for you. That's really the option. And this is why getting some context and some clarity around how to explain what you do is really important. The term life coach does put you in a bucket. So in that way, it can be seen as a positive thing. Like, if you say you're a life coach, people will say like, oh, I've kind of heard about that. And okay, so you're someone who talks to people and you're focused on finding their purpose and things like that. What's up, Marshall? The problem with the term life coach is, number one, it's probably not the bucket that you want to be in, because there's so many different. There's so much, like weird stigma, and different people have different understandings about what that means. And it also is just a labeler. It doesn't actually explain what you do. So this takes us back to the I help this type of person accomplish this type of result. If you say you're a life coach or. Or even a lawyer or a consultant, that labeler does not help me understand how you can help me and how you can help the people that I know so that I can refer you. So when you hear what do you do? I want you to hear something different. I want you to hear, what can you do for me? This is a little hack for you. When someone asks, what do you do? What they really mean is, what can you do for me? When you say I'm a lawyer, that doesn't answer that question. When you say I'm a coach or a life coach, it doesn't answer that question. When you say I'm a consultant, it doesn't answer that question because we don't know how you actually help people. Right. So that's really important. So instead of life coach, okay, but what do you actually help people accomplish and who do you work with? So if you help parents, you know, for example, I had a client who helped entrepreneurial parents get their time back and Use a productivity strategist. Right, Nick? Snap. So that was really awesome. Okay. Do you know any parents who are overwhelmed and have their own businesses and need to make the most of their time? Well, he is very referable with that and it speaks to a specific challenge. I don't have enough time in my day. I need to create more time or prioritize better. So what can you do for me? That's how you should hear the question. And that requires you speaking to a specific problem you solve or a specific result that you get now with in some. Yeah. Yes. Better for us to self determine our bucket versus others. Good insight. Yeah, totally. So I want to go back to this idea that I mentioned at the beginning that how you explain what you do is not the real problem. It's a symptom of your lack of clarity in the business in general. And I don't even think that life coaching is actually a business like. And I say that as someone who was. You could have called a life coach. In the beginning of my business, really the business is the problem you solve for a specific group of people. Coaching or consulting or having a law degree. Those are all tools or modalities to that you bring to the thing that you're doing. But just that alone, you know it. When life coaching started off, it was novel. It was a totally new thing. So you didn't actually need to be that specific. The people who started in the 80s and 90s that you sometimes see who have successful businesses, the examples you can think of, of. Well, this person doesn't necessarily address a certain pain or get certain results. That's not what they're talking about. Yeah, those people started off like 20 years ago. They started off when it was a new concept so they didn't have to specialize. They were the only ones. And it was just novel that they did it. It was like, oh, what's this thing? And it was fine just for itself. Just as a labeler. Like any industry, that's not what it is anymore. So I think about the consulting industry a lot. Like when I was in a consulting firm, we did marketing research specifically for pharmaceutical companies to get insights about what their customers wanted to. That was very specific. If we just said I'm a consultant, well, I don't know if you can help me. I don't know what you do, I don't know who you do it for. So that's the distinction I want to make between just using a labeler, which is kind of lazy and feels easy. Like I'm a coach. Or I'm an entrepreneur or whatever it is, and say, here's how I actually help people. Here's what I could actually do for you. If you're this specific type of person, final point here, really important, more important than probably anything I've said up to this point. How you say what you say is more important than what you actually say. So it's great to be able to explain what you do. That clarity is awesome. At the end of the day, the person, though, is not actually picking up on what you do right away. They're picking up on the way that you say it. The confidence you convey, your body language, your tonality, how excited you are about it, how confident you are that you're good at it. Humans are fantastic at picking up those subtle cues. And so if you just said, you know, I've never really thought about it, and you then you started to have a conversation with them and you said it in the right way, that would be much better than someone who might have everything dialed in, but they said it in a way where we could tell they weren't really aligned with what they were about. Okay, so how you say the thing, the confidence you say it with is the most important. And again, creating that engagement, creating that opening for a further conversation. You don't have to explain what you do in the first sentence or in the first response. Right? You can say, I help coaches fill their client roster, right? So that they can increase their income each month. And someone says, okay, how do you do that? Well, I help. I'm a sales trainer. So I help them fall in love with sales and close more of the clients that are really a good fit for them. Right. Well, why do you do it? Right. And then you could talk about why I'm big about unleashing people's potential and a big way that people get stuck, especially coaches who. That's their job for people is in the enrollment conversation, in their marketing. And someone could ask, well, how did you get into that? And then you can tell them your story. Right? You don't have to answer it all in the first response. In fact, if you do, again, that will convey a insecurity, lack of security. So it's a lot about how you say it and not just what you say, but what you say is super important. So go back to that. I help blank, do blank, and start to get really clear again. Looking at real clients you've worked with, if you have them, if you haven't worked with your clients, look back at your own story to figure out what in your path, what in your what of your passions are relevant and start filling in those blanks. The more you can lock down the who and the what, the better, the more specific you can get, the better, you know, sometimes I'll think about when I'm helping people with this. It's like, okay, think about one specific client, who you really helped, or that you'd love to work with. How could you explain what you would do to them? That's a weird way to say it. How would you explain what you do to them in a way where if you first met them and you said that they would want to work with you instantly, that can be helpful because you know the person so you know if it would be a productive way to describe what you do. But I really think the world of the days of generalist life coaching, generalists, really any field, are going away and you need to become a solution provider. So that's what I'm advocating for you. Once you nail that down, once you make a decision, put a stake in the ground around that, everything will get a lot easier. As one of my mentors, Charlie Gilgie, said, you don't have to play your business on hard mode all the time. Having this really vague focus is an example of playing your business on hard mode because you can't apply any of these marketing strategies. For example, the formula for explaining how you do what you do. I'm just making sure I don't have any more things to share with you. So here's the deal. I want to do these every week. Last week I did a live every single day. But I'm saying Thursday, 2pm Eastern time could be a good Friday flow and that way you guys will know to expect when I'm going live. If that works for you, that sounds exciting. Go ahead and comment below and we'll make that a regular deal. If you have suggestions on other times to do it or topics you want me to go on, that's totally cool. Happy to listen to that too. If you want to go deeper into this stuff, especially the lack of clarity thing, because it's really hard to see it for yourself. It's really hard to understand what what you do because you're in the water, right? You're like the fish in the water. So you are surrounded by it. It's really hard to understand what makes you different and the specific results you get for people and stuff like that. I'm holding a webinar the week after Thanksgiving, so as soon as I sign off, it's a free training, I'll post the link there. And if you guys want to go deeper into this stuff, especially if you're a coach and you want to fill your client roster, that's what the webinar is called. That's what it's about. So I'll post that training. If you're not registered for that yet, I'd love to have you join us. And as always, if you have any topics, any challenges that are coming up for you, you'd love me to do a live on, shoot me a personal message or comment below. Love you all. Take care. Bye.