Hadar Shemesh answers whether people change personality when speaking English. She shares how moving to New York let her create a new persona, and explains how a second language can free you from cultural expectations and make you less vulnerable than speaking your native tongue.
Welcome to the Influency podcast. This is an Ask Hadar episode where you ask me anything about English and I answer you on the podcast. If you want to send me your questions, click the link in the description. Let's listen to today's question.
Hi, Adar. Juan Andres. I'm from Colombia. I am a great follower of your work, your podcast, your YouTube channel, and really everything about you. So I just want to say thanks. First, my question is, do you think that we have different personalities when we speak in a second language or another language? Because I feel like when I speak in English, I. I can express myself better than Spanish. I can create deeper connections in English than Spanish. So I just want to know your viewpoint about this. Thanks for listening to me.
Okay. This is such a great question, so thank you for asking this. So basically, Juan Andreas is asking if it's possible that we have a different personality when we speak English. The answer is yes. And I'm sure that many people who speak a second language can relate to that. The thing is that what Juan Andreas is saying is that he feels more confident and expressive in English, his second language. And this is where it feels a little jarring, because most people feel a lot more expressive and witty and funny and intelligent and sophisticated and intuitive in their native language in comparison to English. So all of a sudden, is it possible that it's the other way around? And my answer to this is, first, if this is the case for you, then abso freaking lutely it's possible. And second, yes. And I have an explanation for it because I've experienced it myself. Now, whether or not it's the psychological, logical explanation, I don't know. It's my explanation. And you can either take it or not, but I absolutely relate to that. And here's my view of it. So when I moved to New York at the age of 21, I moved and I wanted to start fresh. Not that I had a bad childhood. I had an amazing childhood and an amazing family, but still, there was something in me that wanted to explore new things. And one of the ways for me to do that was to move away from my country. And I actually also changed my name. And I explained it by saying that I didn't want people to talk about where I'm from and the fact that I'm not from here. But I think that a part of it, in a subconscious part of it, had to do with me wanting to create this new Persona, maybe like my alter ego or something. And that gave me a lot of freedom, a Lot of freedom, because I didn't have stories around that language yet. I didn't have expectations. I didn't feel vulnerable and exposed as I felt in Hebrew, because Hebrew was associated with a culture that I came from, the people I grew up with, my family. And there's a lot of weight that comes with speaking your native language. And a lot of times it's something that frees us up and gives us courage and confidence. But sometimes you can recreate that, speaking a second language, and you can actually overcome barriers, social barriers or communication barriers that you might have had in your native language. And. And I think that's a beautiful way to look at it, because, Juan Andreas, you're offering us an opportunity to look at communicating in English as a tool to gain more freedom rather than to feel more confined, which is what a lot of people feel. If we look at speaking a second language as something that is beyond just choosing certain words or using certain sounds or melodies or grammar rules, but it's just an opportunity for you to explore different things that it feels like you don't have the courage to do them in your native language, then I think it really opens up doors when we look at it like that. For example, if in your culture, you're not used to speaking loudly, right? It's not something that it's common and you usually have a lower voice, then what if you look at English as an opportunity to explore parts in yourself and in your body and your voice that you've never explored before, because it's a different language, you have more permission, it gives you more opportunities to explore these things. So what if English provides you this freedom? And I think the fact that you can make those new connections has to do with English, but also has to do with the fact that it's different and that it's a different culture. And maybe you're allowing things or allowing yourself to be more vulnerable and open in English, whereas maybe in Spanish, you've put on so many shields because of whatever reason, you know, sometimes we don't have a concrete reason, but we have barriers and shields. And, you know, we don't want to be vulnerable. And we're able to do that in a different language because we haven't created that habit of not expressing ourselves or not being open. And a new language is like an unknown land. You can do whatever you want. So if you think about it like that, I think it adds more excitement and a sense of adventure to speaking a new language that is a lot more exciting than thinking about being restricted or limited. Because, again, a language is so much more than just a collection of words and sounds and grammar rules. So I hope that makes sense. Juan Andres, thank you so much for asking that question. And you guys, if you want to ask me questions where I'll answer them on my POD or on my Instagram account, then I'm inviting you to click the link in the show notes, and that'll take you to my website, where you'll be able to either send me a video or an audio of you asking your question. And I am going to be more than happy to play your beautiful voice here and to answer your questions. So don't be shy. That's your opportunity to get out of your comfort zone and get an answer to your question. Okay? So I hope to hear from you soon. Ra.
