169. Real Stories About What's Possible | Interview with Soraya

Welcome to the Influency Podcast. I'm Hadar, your host, and today we are going to hear success stories. Hey, everyone. Thank you so much for tuning in for another episode of the Influency Podcast today. I'm super, super thrilled to have you here because today I'm going to share with you an interview that I conducted with a few of my favorite people in this world. And those people are my students, my dear students. And they are going to share with you their English journey, where they used to be and where they are today. And there is quite a difference. And they're going to share with you what they've done to reach that place of freedom and confidence and success and all their accomplishments thanks to that shift and change in their English and approach to English. And also they're going to share where they were and the limitations and the things that held them back and what they did to let go of those limitations. So this is such an inspiring episode. And it's not just me telling you this because I'm not objective, obviously, but people who heard them speak kept sharing how inspiring it was and motivating. And I think that you deserve to hear that, too. And this is why I'm sharing it here. Once you listen to this episode, I would love for you to come back to me and share with me what you feel about this and about their stories. You can find me on Instagram, Hadar Accentsway and. Yeah, and tell me what you think. So, thank you for being here and I can't wait to share with you today's episode. So let's listen.

Hello, my dear.

Hello, Heather. I'm so excited to be here with you.

Soraya, my love, would you like to introduce yourself, tell us a little bit about you and where you're from and your background and then we'll start the conversation.

Well, I'm Soraya. I am originally from Colombia in South America. Although I have been living in Spain for many years now. I studied communication and journalism. I always had the dream to study abroad also, and I wanted to learn English all my life. My journey through English obviously involves many experiences and many years. I had classes at high school, also at the university. Then I signed up for several courses in academics in Colombia and here and throughout this path. Well, yes, it is true that I learned many things, but also it is true that most of the studies were focused on grammar aspects, long list of verbs in order to learn by heart phrasal verbs. But the lack, the main lack of this experience was that I don't have Time to speak, practicing my listening skills.

So you were, you were investing a lot of time learning but you felt that you weren't putting it into practice.

Yes, that's the problem. Because when you are enrolled in an academia or a formal studies, usually, yes, the teachers will be good teachers, but they focus on following the book, following the contents, because, well, that is the curriculum that they have to follow and that I'm not much time in order to practice. And on top of that I had to confess, well, some things paradoxically, I discovered you, your channel in YouTube due to one of those teachers because usually they. Yes, yes, yes, yes. Usually they send us additional material, videos or links in order to explore by, by ourselves. So one of those videos was one of absence wave videos. So I was impressed and I said, oh, let me see, because this girl is a really good communicator. I have to confess that that was the first thing that I grasped because obviously being a communicator myself, I am really, really interested in those aspects of a conveyor message. So that helped me. But then I decided to explore a bit more and I watched other videos and you said, I am not a native speaker. And I said, what? And I said, oh, I'm going to follow her.

But let me ask you a question, a follow up question on what you just said. You said that I'm a communicator, right? Like, and this is why I was interested in that. So let me ask you as someone who is, you know, a natural communicator. And you know, in your native language, in Spanish, it's like, you know, this is something that runs in your veins. And then you faced the struggle of, you know, not having that power in English. How did that feel? And you know, how did you feel communicating in English when you had that barrier?

Yes, at first it was so frustrating because as you mentioned, for me it's natural. I know that I am a good communicator in Spanish. I can convey my message in a clear manner. I have this kind of character that is easygoing, that I can build a rapport with people. And also I write really well in Spanish. So when I discovered that in English all of these mammal features disappear, I was so frustrated, so frustrated because it is not only the lack of, at first the lack of vocabulary, but it is the way to speak in a natural way. That was so frustrating for me. And that was what I was looking for all this time. And well, going back to the studies, well, I want to mention something. I live in Spain and here, in order to Progress in a way in your career ladder if you want to go to another company or project more interesting in many of them, it's a requirement to show your certifications in terms of English. Why? Well, I can understand. Not in all the countries is the same. Here it's in that manner.

And you need to do a certain exam or test to show.

You need to. Yes.

To be accepted to.

Yeah. Yes. In order also to have the opportunity to take part in the process of the job offer. Why? Because there are many people, obviously they need a filter, some kind of filters. And also because it is true that sadly there are people who say, oh, my English level is medium, but they don't speak English at all. So the recruiters, they want to make sure that at least you have a basis in English that you speak fluently. And then in the process they Interviewing the people in English, obviously.

Yeah, I have to say something about that. I think it's harder for the applicants. Right. And you will tell your story. But recently I've been seeing, especially in the industry that like in my industry, my students that here in Israel there isn't this requirement. But what they're doing now is that they're asking for native speakers only for the position which is on the verge of, you know, discrimination and native speakerism because there are a lot of versatile, expressive, fluent individuals who are not. Who are not native speakers that are eligible for a position but they can't apply because only requires native speakers because that's their way of filtering, you know, people who have better English than others who, who don't really. Who are not able to communicate as effectively. So I think that even though it's a hassle, I think it's better than just setting the bar as native speakers. And that's it. Yeah.

Yes, that's true. So for that reason, in, yes, recent years, I believe more or less five or six years, I have been studying English consistently in a school in order to prepare, in order to do these kind of certification exams in that manner. First I did the first exam that is B2 level. Then I did the C1 level, that is advanced. And in last year I have been preparing myself for the proficiency exam. Well, last year, in the middle of the pandemic, I did my last exam and sadly, and even though I had been studying a lot, I failed. I failed. I was close to the yes average degree, but I didn't reach. That was sad, disappointing.

What was most frustrating about failing that exam back then?

Well, the most failing thing is that you know that you have Been doing a hard process and everything boils down to one to a grade. And that does. Because you can have a bad day or also you can, for example, in the listening skills. Yes, you can have good listening skills, but it's going to be better. The result if you are familiarized with the topic, for example. And in terms of speaking, something that, yes, get me angry was that, yes, I know that in general terms I have a wide range of vocabulary and expressive, but I had big gaps in terms of pronunciation. That was one of my problems and for me also was excruciating because I thought I am in this level and how it's possible that in this level I remain with problems in terms, serious problems in terms of denunciation. Well, in this moment last year I was obviously really, really angry. Sad, frustrated at first. But then fortunately I have that tray in my character. I said, I have to do something. I am not going to stay here moaning and criticizing because that is not useful.

Did you have a thought? Like the thought path of giving up, of just not going for it at some point or you were like, no, no, I know.

No, no, no, no, no. Because also I knew that I was close to my objective. So I decided I am not going to throw away all these years and said, no, English is not for me and I am going to. No, never. So I decided two things. I said, well, I'm going to repeat the whole course in this school in order to continue preparing for the test. Because a test is not only knowledge, a test involved. Know how to do the test. Exactly. That's the thing.

Like a test is not a. A way to really reflect your fluency and level. It just means if you pass a test that you know how to pass tests, right? Like you have a certain level, but it still doesn't guarantee that you get the certificate. Which is what's so annoying about this type of filtering. Yeah.

Yes, that was my first decision. I'm going to repeat the course. It doesn't matter. Yes, it's bolded. Going back again with the book, doing the homework, repeating, repeating, repeating the structure. But I'm going to repeat. If this is necessary, I'm going to do it. The second thing that I decided was I received the information about the assembly cover course. I was thinking, I don't know if it deserves the investment or not everything. I don't know what I'm going to find there. I don't know if they are going to fulfill my expectations or they are going to fulfill the program. But finally I said, well, I'm going to try. And yes, I signed up for Latin makeover and it was fantastic for many things. Many, many, many things. Not only in terms of English itself, but in terms of a life experience. Why? Because when I did the course last year, we were in the middle of the pandemic. Most of the time I was at.

Home.

Just like to follow the restrictions. I didn't have a social life. And I have to confess, that accent Vancouver was for me open a window to a universe. I mean the universe of English, yes, but also the universe of the whole quantity of marvelous people of many, many countries that I had never had any contact with people from those countries. And it was astonishing. Yes, it was an astonishing experience.

Can you really talk about the difference between going through things on your own and doing it when you have a community around you? Because you know, one of the things that I think a lot of the people watching is that they really feel alone in this and they really feel like this is how you're supposed to learn. And then when you're ready, you go out and you speak with the world. What has changed for you when you shifted from this is me against English versus this is us, you know, you in the community and the other learners and the students. It's us, you know, with English. What has changed for you and how did that help you with English?

Well, yes, yes, it is definitely a change. Why? Because when you are alone, you sometimes feel motivated to learn. Other times you are not so motivated. In some occasions there are tons of information contains on Internet and you can spend the whole day if you want, jumping from side to side, but you don't have a direction. And on the other hand, being part of a community is fundamental in order to follow the path, in order to feel company, in order to feel that you belong to a community that is working on the same purpose. You can share with people that can understand your struggles, your disappointments, your frustrations, but also people who are supportive because all of us are in the same boat. And what is the purpose? We all want to enhance our least awards English speaking skills or English skills in general. We all have thrive in our professional lives or personal lives. We all want to travel, we all want to be able to communicate in different sceneries. So it's fantastic because of that, but also because you have the opportunity to learn many things that are not strictly related to English but that are useful. For example, in some of these courses that I have had the opportunity to do, I have learned things about how to prevent cognitive illnesses or for example, things because it depends due to the fact that the mates, the fellows can. We can propose activities and there are many interesting people with different experiences and backgrounds. We can share that knowledge or those ideas with our mates. And it's so, so interesting because you are learning English.

Yes.

You are improving your skills, definitely. But on top of that, you are learning many new things. And throughout this period, I can say that, yes, my world has expanded so much. Yes.

That's amazing. And I think this is so inspiring, what you're saying, because ultimately, and then we're going to circle back to why it was good that you didn't pass the test and what it did, because you were talking about going from being on your own in a pandemic to being a part of something and a part of a community and learning together. But I think, really, I think this is such an important part because English is not meant to be learned alone. And English is not just following the exercises or the scripts that you read, but really producing new, original thoughts. And this can only happen when you are triggered to think beyond the obvious. Right. So when you are given a certain text or a discussion, then you're just regurgitating what you've heard. You hear it and then you repeat it. But then when you are in a situation where you are inspired to speak and to talk about different things, like how to avoid mental or discover mental illnesses and so much more, then it really, there is an invitation to produce an original thought. And this is where the breakthroughs happen, where you need to be like, okay, I trust that I can do it. I know that they'll support me, and I need to believe that I have the needed information to convey that thought. And then it happens. And then it's a skill in and of itself. Like, the more you create original thoughts with confidence, the more confident you become in it and the easier it becomes.

Yes. And also, let me tell you something additional. Recently, I was talking with another mate, we were reflecting about all this process, and she told me something that is true. Having the opportunity to connect with such a vast amount of people from different countries, it is beneficial also because you debunk all these misconceptions or prejudices or thoughts that you can have about people from the determined nationality because you have the opportunity to interact with them, to ask questions about their countries, their experiences, their cultures. And it's an enriching experiences in all the senses.

It's amazing, I think. Absolutely. Because we hear so many stories and so many stereotypes and so many, like, beliefs that we have about people and Countries and religions, and all of a sudden you're like, no, these are real people and we're actually the same. And I think this is really incredible. And that's what's incredible about the community. So you're talking about the experience you had in Accent Makeover and then beyond our English practice community, right?

Yes, yes, yes. Well, in fact, yes, I enrolled in Accent Makeover and for me, I have to confess that in a moment it was. Why? Because in that moment, yes, I thought in general terms, I have a good level of English, I am trying to reach my proficiency test, and well, I am going to improve. I knew that I have gaps in terms of pronunciation, but I remember, I can picture the image. I remember when in some of the classes you were teaching us about the different sounds. And I remember at least two or three specific words. One of them was recognized. And I said, what? Recognize. Recognize. That is a word that I use frequently. But being a Spanish speaker as a native tongue, I obviously they all are. I pronounce recognized. And when I discovered that the correct pronunciation was recognized, that blows my mind. Another word that I can't forget is rural. Oh, my God. Oh my God. Goggles my mind. Because I always said, oh, yes, yes, the expediency in the city is different to the expedience in the rural area. Oh, yes. And I thought, oh, I am speaking cool. When I, oh my God, the correct pronunciation is rural. And I had been pronouncing that word badly for many years. I was, how is possible? But you know what? Now it's fantastic. The experience in Art makeover, it's fantastic because it is true. You said that. And I can say that is true. We learn the correct sounds and in that sense we learn how to catch our mistakes and how to try to solve that problem. And for me, that is one of the challenges in this moment because I had to work hard in order to get rid of the bad patterns that I had managed through several years. Yes, yeah.

But do you feel that now that you're more aware of it? Were you more self conscious about it in the past or.

Well, in the past for me was confusing because, for example, in the exams the teacher said, no, because you pronounce this word and this word and this word. But. But I didn't have. Really, I didn't have the information.

In.

Order to process what. Where was the failure? For example, I now I enjoy, I enjoy reading in the different dictionaries, not only the definition of the word, but the first that I look for is the IP translation. Because now I understand the symbols. I understand this. I was perfect. Yeah.

Gave you a lot of freedom.

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Before, that was like speaking in Greek for me. And now I understand.

And I think what you said about. I didn't know how to process it. I think I want to linger on that for a second because this is so important. This is why it's so overwhelming for people. And they have bad experience with pronunciation. Usually it's just like, well, you know, they get feedback. They go into this pattern of my pronunciation sucks. There are no tools to differentiate between, you know, what I think it needs to be and what I'm actually saying. If as a result, that, you know, ambiguous place, it's so foggy, it's so confusing that people either avoid it or just feel really shitty about it. And then I think that even if the impact is not immediately shown, right? Because building those pronunciation habits takes time. So it's in your speech consistently. But like, first of all, hearing people better and understanding them, but also when you recognize, could recognize that people are not, like what you said isn't clear, or people don't understand what you just said, at least you know what you need to do to change, right? Like, at least you know, you have the system, the IPA in your head, like you said. And I think this is why pronunciation gives you power. It doesn't take power away from you. It gives you power if you understand the sounds. So, Raya, whatever happened with that test? Did you end up taking it again?

Well, well, well. The fact was that I did the test last May this year, and I succeed. Yes, yes, yes, I succeed. And obviously I know that all this process through academic, Covid and beyond was fundamental for that. Because yes, obviously in a test you have to be intentional, you have to be present. Obviously. I, for example, one of the things that I know that I have to work on is take my time in order to talk, because I tend to speak weekly in Spanish and also in English. And in English, when we are nervous, we tend to rush. So those kind of things I definitely now manage all in a better way. Not only the pronunciation, because in Azma, Covid and beyond and in new sound, we learn not only how to pronounce. That is part of the course. Yes. But also we learn phrasal, verbs, grammar. We learn enhance our vocabulary and how to deliver speech, how to be more fluent, how to connect the words, how to reduce the function words. There are many things. At first, when I was in academic correct, in a moment, I said that I was shocked Because I discovered many things that I didn't know in that moment, but also because I was aware and I was a bit afraid because I said how I'm going to manage all this bunch of information in order to incorporate in my speaking. Obviously, as you mentioned, it is something that is not immediate. It takes time.

But then you don't have to incorporate everything. It's not everything. It's just like. Yeah, just know what's important for you.

Yes, yes, yes. And the key is follow the process. Believe. Follow the process and work consistently. Because it's not a magic potion. I mean.

Yeah.

It's not that you are going to enroll and everything is going to change magically. No, you have to follow the process and work.

Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Follow the process and work. Stay consistent. And. Okay, so looking back between, you know, the first exam that you failed and then the second exam, so now you have friends from all around the world that you get to meet with on a weekly basis. Right. Would you say, And I'm gonna. I'm gonna share something from my experience, but I always love to look at things in hindsight and, you know, when something happens not according to how you plan it, and you get really frustrated and upset and sad, you blame yourself and all of that, and only later you realize that there was a purpose for it. Right.

Yeah.

When I was in school, when I got accepted to acting school, I tell it a lot, but I'm sure that not everyone has heard it. When I got accepted to acting school, I went back home after two years in New York to apply for a student visa. And I didn't get it right because I've been too long out of Israel and they didn't want it. Like they said, I lost all ties and they were afraid that I'm going to relocate to the US So I actually had to stay in Israel. I was ready to go. I was ready to start school the next year, the following school year, and I had to cancel it. I had to stay in Israel. I had no choice. I wrote the ambassador of the, like, the US Ambassador in Israel. It's like, listen, you have to understand, I have to go to school. And of course, no one has responded ever. I was like. I was talking to the security guard in the American consul consulate to see if, like, there's anything that can be done. Anyway, I was stuck. And I thought it was like, the worst thing that could ever happen to me. And then, you know, I had to figure out my life all over again. Because up until then, I was living in New York. I thought my life would be in New York.

And that's it.

So I ended up staying in Israel, renting an apartment, finding a job, and luckily I got accepted to school. Like, they agreed to keep my spot. And the following year I received a visa. So basically we're speaking about one year in that one year I was working at a place that my closest friends till this day are a huge part of my life and my family's life. I met them during that year. Like, I cannot see my life without them in my life. And of course, some of the incredible experiences that I've had. So it's just that failure. And I know that a lot of people here and I get messages, people failing exams and, like, things happen and they get so upset. And I'm like, yeah, but maybe that's.

How it's meant to happen.

Because you don't know what this failure is going to open up or save you from. So you gotta be like, okay, I know I have a purpose, I'm gonna keep doing it. And this is exactly what you did. And look, now you have this life where, you know, going from being all on your own in a global pandemic. Like, not just you, but all of us were so isolated. And all of a sudden, you know, the community is something that people really, you know, held onto and saved so many, so many of us because it's just like we need other people to feel good and to feel something. So anyway, I feel like these stories kind of, kind of relate in a way.

Yeah, yes, yes, I totally relate on your story because at first when you fail in something or you don't reach your purpose, you feel really bad, but you don't understand, especially if you have put your effort in conquer your purpose. And. But then, yes, I have to say that for me, it's like a blessing in disguise. Now I understand that having failed that exam was crucial for me because if I had succeeded in that moment, surely I didn't sign up for ACT makeover. And now, for example, I can feel that my life, my mindset has expanded. And I insist not only in terms of English, but English is the vital tool for that. Definitely, because you can communicate. And I feel so satisfied personally with my experience because as I mentioned, I am a communicator. And for me that is fundamental. Having the opportunity to interact directly with people, talking with them, asking questions, and that possibility to connect really closely with people from around the world is fantastic. And another thing is because I love traveling and yes, I have had the opportunity to talk In English when I had been in non Spanish speaking countries. But now I know that in my future I am going to. I'm going to take all the advantage of this to talk and communicate with people.

Amazing. Amazing. And that is the mindset that leads to, you know, breakthroughs and changes and really fulfilling the desires and the dreams that you have for yourself and for the people around you. Amazing. Soraya, what is one piece of advice that you can give people who are currently struggling and they don't know.

They.

Feel frustrated or maybe they've failed. What would you tell them?

Well, that first they have a right to feel sad because that is human. And yes, we have the right to feel sad, anger or disappointing.

Yes.

But the important thing is overcome that moment and continue working in your project. For example. Yes, continue studying. But if you know that you have problems in terms of pronunciation or if you are shy, if you get stuck when you are speaking, well, look for places where you can practice, where you can go beyond. But please, please don't be shy. Because I mean, yes, it is normal that we don't want to feel vulnerable. We don't want to feel that, oh, I don't know how to speak or I am afraid to get stuck or something like that. But if we continue doing the same, we are not going to succeed. I mean, you have to put your part in this process. You have to dare to do things, different things. For example, in beyond, I have to confess in beyond. And in accent makeover, you have to rehearse a vaccine in order to make a video. Well, do it. Yes. None of us are actors or actresses. That's true. Yes. But it's an exercise in order to enhance your pronunciation or learn new ways of express yourself. Do it. And for example, in new sound, I have to confess hadar to you some of the tips, the final tips that you told us in order to continue working in our process was for example, learning lyrics of sounds. And in this moment I will try to do that.

Yes, we had a few confidence exercises related to songs and one of them had to do with creating your own rap song. Mandatory people are like, should I join new settled rap song?

No, no, no, no, no, in the future. But other songs. Yes. And don't be afraid, don't be shy because that prevent you from exploring new possibilities and reach other goals. Yes, definitely. You have to get rid of all these feelings. And even though I am not a shy person, that is an advantage for me. There are people who are shy. But bear in mind, if you don't speak you are not going to improve your speaking. And if you decide to enroll in new sound, please, please take advantage of the sessions we had. And the other coaches ask questions, show up. Because it's not the same being in a passive way only. Listening, listening, listening. You need to learn to do things to expose yourself so good.

I absolutely agree. You have to do it and you experience it on your own and you're like one of the biggest motivators and you keep pushing other members as well. So when people struggle in the coaching sessions, the rye is always like, wait, I have something to say. And then you give them all your wisdom and insights. And I think that's amazing. And again, like, this is what the community is there for. And I Also, I agree 100%. You can't do it passively. You gotta be active, you gotta get uncomfortable, you gotta do things that will feel like it's not me. I'm not like, yeah, okay, but you hasn't led you to a place where.

You are happy with.

So if you keep on doing the things that you've been always doing, how do you expect to get different results? If you want to get different results, start changing things. Some of the things are going to make a bigger difference, other things are not going to make any difference. Sometimes you'll feel a regression, yet you will at least be trying because then you'll know that you're going to be getting different results.

So Raya, finally challenge your limiting beliefs. Because for example, I realized in these courses that even though I believe, well, I am a cool girl, I have so many disbeliefs in terms of English. For example, in one moment of my life years ago, I was convinced that the only way to succeed, or yes, go beyond in my English process was living in an English speaking country. I was convinced about that. Now I know that that is not necessarily because in fact in the courses there are many people who live in the States or in England or also in Australia that they join these courses trying to improve, enhance their English. And the only limiting belief for me was in terms of prosody because I thought trying to talk or use the rhythm of the English language is a bit. Trying to be a bit fake. Now I understand that any language has its own melody. And if you want to be a best understand, understand it. It's better if you use the correct patterns of the language. Be open.

Yeah, I wish I could hug you right now. You're so wise. You're so wise. Thank you so much for sharing all that wisdom and experience. Experience. And this is why I'm doing this interview series. I think it's so important for people to hear. Not for me. I. I was where everyone is here, you know, once upon a time. But that was like 20 years ago. I'm way down the road, and that's okay. I'm showing you and I'm giving you the path. But I think that you being a little closer to where a lot of people are and you are right now where they want to be, having that freedom and, like, feeling expressive and happy to stay speak, you know, I'm happy to speak. Good job. I was like, sarai, would you like to go live with me? Yelena was contacting Zaray. It's like, sure. You know, no hesitation, no second guessing.

Right.

It was like that freedom to just say yes without thinking so much about the consequences. I think that is the essence of what we're doing. And this is why the mindset work and the confidence work and also building the infrastructure, like the pronunciation work is so, so, so, so important. And it does get results.

Yes, yes. Yeah. Yes. And finally, I have to confess something. At the end of the year, I'm going to bring part of the Hadashema soul to my family in Colombia because I'm going to visit there, and I have a niece and a niece. They both are 14 years old and they are in that age that everything is embarrassing for them. And they obviously are studying English and they don't want to speak in English. So I am trying to influence them with this mindset aspect. For example, I am recording videos for them and sending videos to them in English. Speaking in English because I want to. Daisy, or if your aunt that is old compared with them is speaking in English. Why don't you learn to speak in English? So I am going to exert a.

Exactly. And then I want a video from the three of you speaking in English and then sending. Amazing. All right. So I'm so glad that you get to go back home and visit your family. I'm sure that it's been a while. Yeah.

So.

Yeah.

So it's going to be a good time. Yes.

Yeah, for sure.

All right.

Soraya, thank you so much for this magnificent conversation. I love you very much. Thank you, Sariah. Take care and I'll see you soon.

Sam.