192. She immigrated to the U.S. at the age of 45… this is what happened

Hey, everyone.

Welcome to the Influency Podcast. This is episode number 192. And today we are going to interview Rita Ramirez as part of the Immigrant Experience series.

Hey.

Hey, everyone. Thank you so much for tuning in. I'm super excited about today because today we are officially starting the Immigrant Experience series, which means that every few weeks, we will release an episode that is around the Immigrant Experience. It's going to be interviews with people who have immigrated and with experts that are going to share advice about how to have an easier and better experience when immigrating to a different country, and also dealing with all the stuff that we need to deal when immigrating to a new country and trying to belong and trying to operate in a new culture and a new language. It's really exciting, but it's also could be tough speaking from personal experience, of course, and from hearing the stories of my incredible students. Many of them are immigrants, and there's a lot to unpack here. There's a lot to unpack. So we're gonna put a spotlight on those stories in the coming months. And, yeah, I'm really thrilled. So today I'm interviewing Rita. Rita Ramirez. She is a Beyond member and a new Sound member. She's a student of mine, so I'm a proud teacher. And her story is so fascinating, so interesting, so, so inspiring, and I'm thrilled to share it here with you today. She was born in Colombia. She currently lives in Las Vegas, the U.S. but when she grew up, she knew that one day she will immigrate to the U.S. she heard stories about America, and she was like, I have to go live there. And that was when she was a kid. But then life happened, and she wasn't able to do it for many, many, many, many years. In fact, it wasn't until the age of 45 that she was able to fulfill that dream. So she will tell you that story and all the excitement and the amazing things that happened there, but also all the challenging things and how she had to navigate in that new country without really knowing English well or feeling comfortable in English. And she'll tell you about how she opened her business as a real estate agent, which is a whole nother challenge when it comes to operating in a new country. So I think that this episode is a great reminder that it's never too late to live your dreams. So let's listen to the interview with Rita.

Hi, Rita. How are you doing?

Wonderful. Thank you. Thank you. I'm so excited to be here. Thank you for inviting me.

Oh, thank you. So much for being my first guest on this Immigrant Experience series. And I'm very honored to have you here. As I mentioned before, you have been my student for quite a while, and you have participated in two of my programs and I've gotten to know you and I know that there's a lot of things that people would love hearing about you and about your experience and also learn a lot from it.

So.

So this is why I'm super thrilled to have you here. So thank you so much for being here. So let's begin by the basics. Tell us a little bit about you and why you decided to immigrate and when.

Okay. It's a long story. Everything started since I was a little child. I always wanted to study abroad and live in another country. I imagine myself living in Egypt, in France, in Italy, England. Because history is something that I love tremendously. So before finish my high school school, I implore my mom that allowed me to go to California when we have family to study there. But my mom, as you can imagine, said no. And my mom was the boss. Nothing to do.

Moms are bosses. There is, you know, this is how it is. By the way, you haven't mentioned where you were born and raised.

Oh, important thing, right? I am from Colombia. I was born in a little town very close to the second city of Colombia, which is Medellin. And when I was, I am the second child, my father had two kids, three girls and one boy. I am the second one. And when I was five years old, my family moved to the capital. And I remember that was for me very challenging things that it was for me, like a very difficult thing to accept because I love my little town. And I remember that I always wanted to study and be good at school. And probably for that reason was my dream to go out and explore the world, right? And learn other languages. I always imagining myself speaking via polyglot, something like that. So. But after my month says no, definitely I continue with my life. I went to the university, I started studying economics and life happens and I ended up in a early pregnancy and marriage before 19 years old.

Wow.

So obviously my marriage doesn't last for a long time and I found myself alone. Then after that I have another relationship, long relationship, trying to have a family, but nothing go in the way that I expected and continue with the life, being a single mom, taking care of my two kids at a time, study, working and postponing my dreams. So when I was 45 years old, I was very fortunate because after finish my studies at the university I was able to enter to a company, telecommunication company in Colombia, Telecom Colombia. And I was able to do all my career there. And When I was 45 years, I had the opportunity for an early retirement program. And I took that program because I wanted to do something different with my life.

Wow.

And I did. But life, as I told you before, throw us different things. And I think that I am totally convinced that my migration has to do with two things. First of all, with a deep dream that I had since I was a little kid and with circumstances that the universe put on my way. One was the early retirement. Another one, very unfortunately unfortunate and painful. My dad was killed by the guerrilla in my country. And the grief was so deep and moved me, move inside of me. Many, many things that I thought was healed were healed, but I. The reality was totally different. And then my kids, now grown up, they were living by themselves. So at that point, I found myself alone with the big responsibility that I had before when my kids were with me and with the pain for the loss of my father and the change of the working status. Because after I retire, I tried to find a job in my country in Colombia. But there, after 30 years old, you are too old to find a job, you know, nothing to do. So at that moment, I start thinking about myself and I say, oh my goodness, that could be my opportunity to travel a little bit, to learn languages, to do something right. So I was planning to go to England because I had the opportunity before, while I was working in telecom, to. It was a gift for life to me. I had the opportunity to live in Italy for six months and know some interesting places, but always wanted to come back to Italy and come back to England. So I planned to do that. But I was talking with my aunt in California and I decided to go to visit her and family and friends, right? And by doing that, I reconnect with friends and I knew who was to be called my husband. So things happened. And then I was. I found myself living in California.

Okay, so wait a minute, a question. So at the age of 45, when the opportunity introduced herself, because of all the circumstances that you mentioned and life up until that point, you've never traveled to the U.S.

Yes, I travel.

You travel to the U.S. but you travel to California, but you never lived there for more. Like it was never more than a short trip.

Every time I travel, I was thinking, I like that and I reaffirm the desire to do that. But I knew that I wasn't able to do that because I have a big responsibility with My kids so always postpone, postpone, postpone. So little by little I start to reconnect with my deep, decide what I want to do with my life. Especially because I knew at the time that depending on my style of life is going to be how it's going to be my. My golden years. So I wanted to be very active intellectually, physically, so doing a lot of things. But as I told you, unfortunately the. The loss of my father was something that propelled me clear, clearly to find something different. And yeah, I think that I finally decided to move because. Yeah, it was something meant to be. Wow.

So where did you move to?

I moved to California. I. I traveled to California. Yeah.

Where in California?

In California, Los Angeles county, in a city known as West Covina. In West Covina, California. And I remember that one of the things that happened to me, just because knowing that I wanna. I was planning to travel, I started taking classes of English, even though that from school every time. English has been always very important in our. In our education, but never in the way that we really need. So I take some classes. But one thing that happens to me was that I was studying with the British consul, which is totally different to the American, American pronunciation. And I have adapted more of the British pronunciation. So I remember that when I arrived to Los Angeles, I didn't understand one word. And that was my first thing thinking, oh, yeah, my goodness. So this idea started settle on my mind. Oh, you are not gonna be able to speak in English. You did, you know, this the undefeating feeling. So it was difficult for me. But fortunately I was able to take some classes little by little. But one big difficulty for me was that the family and the social network was always speaking in Spanish. So I didn't have the opportunity to grow in English and acquire the confidence.

Yeah.

That we need in order to be able to say even two, three words. Yeah, you know?

Absolutely.

So let me take you back to the when, when you had moved, like the first six months. Because, you know, the dream of immigrating to a different country is, you know, you've had it for so many years and then you moved and reality struck. Like, for example, like you said, I did not understand people, even though I thought I knew English. Right. Was there anything else that surprised you when you moved like that? It wasn't like you had expected it to be or was it exactly like you had dreamed it to be or.

Even better or even better? I was so happy. For me, every experience was delightful, really, because. Because I was connected with my dream. I wanted to do that, obviously, that I miss my people, my friends, everything, of course. But I enjoy every moment. I was happy. Yeah, I remember thanks God every day. Thank you, God for having me here. I'm so hot.

Was there a challenge that you faced maybe sometime years into your life in the U.S. and if so, what was it?

Okay. Definitely. I think that one of the challenges and is still the challenge for me is the language, of course. When I settled in California, I tried to find a job. And I remember applying for a job with the county and I applied online and my, my test was excellent. I was on the first 10 people on a test that 500 people participated. Wow. And I was so proud of myself because in my mind I wanted to work in an office again. You know, I feel the energy, the enthusiasm. It was my world. And I want, I wanted to reply to repeat that experience here. So I was called for the interview, but obviously was a disaster because I was very nervous, very insecure, lack of confidence. I remember the, the thoughts coming through my mouth in total disorder. You know, it was a panel interview, more nervousness for me. And the people were so gracious, so understandable of my situation, so kind that I feel even worse, you know. But it was a big experience because my, my, my English, even though that I was a good student, I tried to practice, but I don't have the, the, the opportunity to, to do that in a consistent way, you know?

Yeah.

And at that time, also because I, I, I was working in other things during the day, I don't have the time, as I did during the pandemic, to go online and found you, for example, you know, it wasn't my, my chance.

You were like, just busy with life and surviving and making ends meet and you didn't have time to invest in English. And at the same time, that was the thing that was holding you back from getting a better job, for example, or connecting more with people.

Exactly, exactly. That, exactly what happens to me, that happens. So, but, but always I am a very curious person and I am very determined to get it. I, I was clear, I don't know how, what I'm going to do. I don't know, I'm gonna do it, and things are happening. And then I had the opportunity to work in the loan in the mortgage industry. And also it was in Spanish, but I decided, I said, no, I want to work in English. And then later I get my license as a real estate agent in California. But at that time, I was at that time in a divorce and in, and I was In a nightmare of my soul. I was in a very difficult time emotionally for me. So in 2011, I decided to leave and go out of California. I need to be alone by myself. I don't. At that time, I didn't know anybody in Las Vegas. But one day, for the holiday of Labor Day 2011, I realized that I was a little depressed for all things happening in my life at that point. That I hear, I tell this story and people is like that, but it was true. I hear a voice that told me, rita, what is holding you back? What do you need to do that move? You know?

Wow.

So, yeah, immediately I went to the computer and started looking for places when I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go to Oregon. I'm gonna go to Arizona. I'm gonna go to Nevada. Because always thinking close to California just in case I have to return.

Yeah.

Is this something that is part of your personality, like being able to recognize when you're unhappy or when things are not going your way and taking action, like, doing something about it? Because it seems like that strong voice that you had was something that. And the fact that you executed on it. Because a lot of people, even if they hear that voice, I'd be, like, dismissing it, right? No, no. It's stupid. It's like they start overanalyzing it or doing risk management, and then they decide not to go ahead with it. So what made you trust that this is the right move?

Is my inner self saying, rita, do it. I am adventurous, an adventurous person. I am. I have the courage to do things, especially because I had to do that. I had a lot of emotional problems. My life for many people has been great, but it's not I suffer for. When I was a little child, I was sexually abused. And I keep that secret for me until eight years. That was my secret. I don't know why I couldn't understand. Now I can speak about that freely because the healing has been so deep, so profound, that I talk about that if I had. Right. Like in this conversation. And this is a very painful thing, not only because you feel the shame. You see what I did? I deserve this. The guiltiness, the shame. Oh, my goodness. A lot of things. Right. But I wasn't able to speak my bow. My throat at that time because I don't want to generate problems, you know, I don't know. But emotionally, I was very conflicted, very responsible in the outside, apparently. Very successful, apparently. But inside of me, the suffering was so deep. So deep, so deep. So I was living in California Trying to do the right things. As always, be a good member of family. This. But something inside of me. My voice. Tell me, Rita, this is your time to do something for you, girl. Do something for you. Not for your kids, for your mom, for your family, for no, it's you. And I hear that voice. And I came to this beautiful. I love this town because received me with open arms. And I'm so happy here. People ask me, what are you doing in the sin city? And I told them for me is paradise. Because here I found my peace. You know, I. I complete myself here in all aspects. Now if you ask me Hadar, I'm gonna tell you. I am whole. I need that. I have to work a little things. A lot of things. A lot. Especially related with my business. Yeah. And so many. There are many things that are still related with this business. Luggage that I bring from my past. But now I am very clear. I am aware. I am more conscious about everything. So I'm happy. Totally. Wow. Yeah.

What an incredible story. So tell me a bit more because we're in this momentum of you taking ownership of your life and making a change. Tell me about the business that you open.

Opened.

Tell me about how, you know, how was it to start something of your own after being working in corporate for so many years and, you know, interviewing for companies. And all of a sudden you did your license, your real estate license. And now. Okay, how do. How do I start? And did you have any insecurities or challenges? Because it wasn't, you know, it was a different language and it was a different country than the one that you were born into. So I'm really curious to hear about that.

Oh, my goodness. It has been also a spiritual journey. I'm going to tell. I wanted to work in office because here in the States, because that was my learning experience before. And as a certain point, I felt attracted by the thing that make a lot of people going into real estate here in the States. Oh, you. You are gonna be your own boss. You are gonna earn tons of money. Is the best of the world, right?

The American dream.

Exactly, exactly. So I start. Started doing that without real. And I start realizing the truth. The truth is that you have to pay a lot of fees to the office, to the brokerage, to the board. You have to present the test, the classes, which is this simple thing. But then you have to find your clients. Oh, my goodness. How is that? Okay. A new world by phone at a time. Which is basically telemarketing, right?

Yeah.

Cold calls. Hey, you want to buy you want to refinance, you want to sell. And receiving. No, no, no, all the time. And that is, that is hurting your. Your soul at a point, right? So. But I say, no, I have to do. I have to do. And little by little, I was getting some clientele in California. But you know, California is too big. California is. Even though that I was raised in Bogota, which is the capital of Colombia. It's a big city, but never, never compared with Los Angeles County. My goodness, this is humongous. So in order to find my clients, I remember in 2010, 2011, I was driving from Santa Clarita to from extreme 2, 3 hours in one way. So because it was being so difficult for me, this style of life, moving all around Los Angeles county without the success that I wanted. On October that year, 2011, I moved to Las Vegas. You know, I say, okay, I moved here and obviously I have to work. So I started working in another things just for having an income. But on the back of my mind also was the thing about being entrepreneur, being by myself because was also very strong desire. I had this strong desire. After knowing that possibility when I was in Colombia, I didn't had the opportunity to know this other aspect of making money.

So.

I decided to take two details and get my license from the Nevada state as a real estate agent. So that was my second time. I started and things was going more or less from the financial standpoint, I was fine. But what happened was that I took a vacation and I went to Mexico and I had an accident. Accident there.

Oh, my God.

An accident? Yes. I was in Playa del Carmen and I had an accident that made me come back here and go to the doctors. And I was on panic because I fell down just in the right side of my hip when I had a surgery many years ago. So my. I was in panic. Okay. You know fear is paralyzing, right?

Yeah.

So because doctors here told me, no, you are okay. You don't have anything. We don't see nothing. I don't believe them. So I decided to close everything here and I went to Colombia. I closed everything here and I went to Colombia. And I. And I told to myself, you also have the opportunity to not only see the doctors, but you can see if you are able to adapt again and live in Colombia. You see? Crazy. It was crazy. Two weeks there after arriving, I say, rita, what are you doing? Because at that time I realized I have changed. I had changed tremendously. No, I don't feel. I didn't feel in my place.

Wow, you felt like you were going back home and you only to realize that you were home.

Exactly, exactly. So I decided to stay there for longer. Especially because my mom was in 2019 to turn 85 years old. I went there in August 2018, and I stayed there until December. My mom birthday is on the 16th of December. I celebrate her 85 years old. And then three days later, I was here, back in Las Vegas.

Wow.

Right before the pandemic.

Right before the pandemic. I just unpacking when the pandemic hit. And at that moment, I said, oh, my goodness, Rita, what are you gonna do? So I take it easy. Nothing to do. This is a pandemic. Life is in that way. So during the lockdown. Because my plan at that time was, you see, I'm gonna share my plans. Because life speaks by itself, right? My plans was, I'm gonna go to Las Vegas in December. I wanna come back to Colombia in May because I have to make some transactions, something. And I thought that I need to be present to do that. And then I'm gonna take a. Oh my goodness. I'm gonna come back to Italy. I want. That was my dream. And when the pandemic hit, so I started watching you too. And I saw you. And I was one of the best thing that happens to me because I start working on my English, is starting studying for the classes for the real estate license. At that time, I need to renew my license.

Wow.

And I did. So now in this particular moment, I am in the third chapter of my real estate career. This is the third chapter. And because the absence of confidence of my English, I lost a lot of opportunities, obviously, because more, as you said, more than speak well is the confidence that you project. You know, that is the most important thing. If you say one word wrong, but you are confident to accept the mistake or to correct that project a different image. But I. The truth is that I was in preoccupied for the how people look at me. But my inner critic critique. My inner critic was so, so extreme solo. That was holding me back.

Yeah.

No.

Yeah.

And this is my. If I can say definitely to anybody that are planning to migrate. Oh, please study English. Obviously that is important, knowing the thing. But work in your confidence. That is crucial because you are going to interact with people from all around the world. All people are like you. It doesn't matter what is the color of the skin or the circumstances. We are all equals. Right? But we need to be certain with ourselves. Right? So, yeah, that would be my best. My best advice. I think that we need to Work in ourselves. We study a lot of things, right? History, economic, business, da da, da. But we don't take the time to study ourselves. And I think that is the most important thing. We need to know ourselves better in order to do better. Yeah, right.

This is so true. In such wise words. And you know, I often say that when people work on their English, sometimes they're so obsessed, obsessed about, you know, doing the work and showing up, which is amazing because you really need that. You need to show up consistently, you need to build habits, but at the same time you need to be in touch with yourself. And when you feel like it's too much or you need a break, it's so important to take time off to invest in self care too, in your well being. Because when you grow personally and even spiritually, I think that it creates, it really elevates your English without actually doing the English work. Because ultimately English is all about you showing up as yourself. And if you don't feel connected to yourself or like you want to hide parts of yourself, I think that is manifested immediately in English. And I think that this is, you know, English is just a reflection of you. And if you're unhappy with your English, yes, definitely there is some English work to be done. But like you said, I think that the inner work and the mindset and the confidence, all of that is such an intrinsic part of doing any type of language work. Would you agree?

Absolutely. Yeah. This is the most important thing. Yeah, definitely it is.

Rita, I think that your story is incredible and so, so inspiring. Not only, you know, both your entrepreneurial journey, you know, just like keep that, you kept going and you, you still have, I know, big plans about you and about your, your business and growing your business. And you started in this period where you had to go door to door and call people and now we have the Internet and you know, you can reach people more easily. And I think that, you know, this is something that is super interesting and exciting to see you do, but also, you know, the, the, all the different cycles that you had in your life, you know, both as a child and then as a, as a single parent and then, you know, having that chance to move again and to relocate at the age of 45. I think, you know, this is, it's never too late to live your dreams. This is what I take from our conversation.

Oh yeah, Hadar, definitely. That is another thing that I want to share. Yeah. Never is too late. Never is too late. Thinking about our meeting today, I was thinking about the reality for me and my business at that point, at this moment is that I learning marketing, which was an aspect of business that never considered was so important. And now I'm studying that. And this world is moving so fast because now we have the metaverse, we have the web three, we have the NFTs. My goodness, what is all about? We need to learn about that. But never, never too late to learn. Yeah, that's beautiful.

Rita, thank you so much for sharing your story with us today. And thank you for all the beautiful insights and words of encouragement and for the advice that you shared with us about, you know, following your dreams and having trust and courage because obviously it has worked out for you. So thank you for being an incredible member of the community and thank you for today.

All right, thank you so much for being here and listening. And thank you so much, Rita, for sharing with us your incredible story and being so open and vulnerable. I cannot tell you how much I appreciate it. If you are interested in sharing your story, if you're an immigrant, then I will link to a form where you can share with us your story and maybe we'll share it here as well. And if you like this episode, be sure to subscribe to the podcast on whatever platform you're on and share it with someone who might benefit from it as well. Oh, and you can even rate and review the podcast if you're feeling fancy. I would so incredibly appreciate it. Have a beautiful, beautiful rest of the day. Thank you for listening. Thank you for letting us be in your ears today. And I'll talk to you next time. Bye, Sa.