27. How to Become A Confident English Speaker When You're Just Starting Out? | Paula's story

Welcome to the Influency Podcast. I'm Hadar and this is episode number 27. Today we're going to talk about courage and fluency in English as we speak with one of my students, Paula. Hey, it's Hadar. Thank you so much for joining me. And in today's episode, we are going to talk about confidence, fluency and courage in English. In this episode, I'm going to interview a community member and a student of mine by the name of Paula de Jesus. I first met Paula when she joined the Fluency Challenge, our Facebook group now called the Influency Community. And if you're not a member, then what the heck are you waiting for? It's the best place to practice your influence English and find conversation partners and just feel great and safe. I'm going to link to it in the description below. Back to the story. Paula has started as an active member in the Fluency Challenge and she started uploading videos, sharing with us her life and story and challenges and beautiful moments and we really, really connected. Paula has immigrated to the US A few years ago from Venezuela and has been living in Atlanta in. In the US now, at the beginning, she was really, really struggling with English and she felt self conscious. But through the videos and through the community and through her work on her English on her own, and then she also joined my course, Accent Makeover. She has improved so much and started gaining confidence until finally she even opened her own YouTube channel teaching Spanish and in English. So she had the confidence from someone who was really timid to speak on video. She built that confidence to start her own YouTube channel and she's doing a remarkable job. So by the way, if you want to learn Spanish and improve your Spanish, you should definitely follow her and subscribe to her channel. I'm going to link to it in the show notes and right here. So I can't wait for you to hear her story about confidence and about fluency and really about building up courage through videos, through repetitive practice, through changing the mindset and believing that she can. So I can't tell you how excited I am to welcome Paula de Jesus. Hi, Paula.

Hi. How are you?

I'm good. How are you doing?

I'm doing great. Thank you for having me here.

Oh, it's such a pleasure. I'm so happy to have you here. I've been wanting to do this for a long, long time. And the time has come.

Yeah.

So before we begin, why don't you quickly introduce yourself to the viewers?

Sure. All right. So my name is Paula I was born and raised in Venezuela. That's a country located in South America. So my native tongue is Spanish. I'm married, no kids so far. I love traveling. I love hanging out with friends and family, and I love working out, even though I haven't done it for a while, but still I love it. And right after I got married, we moved to the States because my husband was transferred from Venezuela to the United States by his company. So we've been living here in Atlanta, Georgia for three years.

Three years. Wow.

I have to say, it's been a roller coaster.

Why? Why has it been a roller coaster?

Because it's so challenging to talk on the phone, to get my services done at the beginning. Because the funny thing is that I thought when I knew I was about to move here, I thought, I'm going to be okay. Because I had a privilege to took an English course back when I was a teenager. Okay. The truth is that I got here and I couldn't understand pretty much anything to anyone.

Yeah. So there is, like, a huge difference between how you learn it and what you learn in school. Was it like a language school? Was it high school?

What was. It was a professional course, but the thing is that the teachers were not speaking English. They were speaking Spanish. So. Yeah.

So you came in and you thought that you had it figured out, and then reality appeared.

Yeah. Yeah. It was so hard, you know, ordering food, renting an apartment. Oh, my God. Wow. So challenging. Yeah. But here we are.

Here we are, like, at a totally different place from three years ago, right?

Yeah. Yeah.

So tell us. Tell us what it has been like, that journey from being okay, like, scared and without a sufficient level of English that could carry you through. Were you with your husband who was doing most of the communication? Was it you or him at the beginning?

At the beginning, both of us, I would say. Yeah. But then I enrolled into ESL classes. English as a Second language, they free here. So I joined the classes. He wasn't in the class because he was working. Right. And so I gained a little bit more confident, I would say, and I would do more. Most of the time, I would do the speaking part. So. Yeah.

And. Okay. And we met about a year and a half ago, right?

Yes. That's funny, because I enrolled the ESL classes and then someone told me, oh, you know, that you can look up on YouTube. YouTube channels that teach English.

Oh, you didn't know it back then?

I didn't know it. So I was like, oh, really? So. So I'm there surfing on the Internet. On YouTube and I came across your channel through an interview, by the way. So you were there teaching pronunciation and you were talking about a five day fluency challenge that you were about to do.

Yeah.

And I thought I should give it a try. So I joined the Facebook group and. Awesome. It's been a life changing for me.

Really, really for me as well. So wait, I just want to acknowledge the, like the circumstances here because you saw me in an interview on YouTube and now we are together here. I'm interviewing you and you have your own YouTube channel now, which you haven't mentioned, by the way, when you introduced yourself. Something to think about. Right. But you have. You want to talk about it for a sec?

Oh yeah, for sure. So. But the thing is that it all started because the influency community.

Yeah. Back then we called it the fluency challenge then. Now the fluency community because it's a more empowering word.

And then.

Yeah. And then you joined and it has been like magic. And back then we did mostly. We're going to come back to the YouTube channel that you are avoiding to talk about, but. I'm kidding. Yeah. So what happened is that we got, we started interacting through videos.

Yeah.

Was it the first time you started making videos of yourself speaking?

It was. I mean, I mean I talked to my family through Skype.

Right.

But it's, you know. Yeah. It's not recorded.

No one. No one. It's not documented. Right. No one's gonna see it afterwards. But then videos. What was your biggest objection to making videos at the beginning? Like, were you kind of like excited about it or did you feel, oh, I don't know if I'm gonna, you.

Know what, to be honest, back then, I don't know. You know when you feel, when your intuition tells you that it's going to be okay and you have to go for it. That's what I felt back then. So I just record the video and I post it. And I never thought about being judged. I don't know why. Maybe it was that it was my intuition working. Right. So I remember that the first question was about, why are you learning English? And it was like, oh my God. You know, it's. It's been such a journey for me because first of all, I thought, I don't want people here think that I'm uneducated because I speak broken English. Right. I mean, I'm a professional. I'm an engineer. So people judging you on streets just because you don't speak a perfect English. It was like, I don't want that.

Yeah.

Plus, I want to raise a family here and I want my children, my future children to be proud of me. I don't want them to be like, oh, mom, you better speak Spanish with us because your English is awful. Right.

Or they would get embarrassed. Like, I have a lot of students who are parents who, like, the only reason why they come to me is because their kids make fun of them. Because our kids speak fluent English, like native English, and they feel, I mean, kids, you should respect your parents, please. But at the same time, like, yeah, I get it, I get it. It's a challenge. And also, I'm just gonna go back to what you said, like moving into an English speaking country, leaving your job all of a sudden becoming, you know, like unemployed. Right. Someone, a woman like you who's very independent and competent and, you know, professional. And all of a sudden you feel like your superpowers are taking away from you. Right. Like your language. And you're a very expressive person. I mean, even like when we just started out, like, you would express yourself 100%. And I think, like, I admire that so much in you, but I can tell that, like, it hasn't been really easy, that transition, because it's like going all in, right?

Yeah.

Yeah, it has.

Challenging. Yeah.

And how did. Okay, so, so did you feel that, like, through those videos you were able to improve your, like, how did that affect your English, your fluency, your confidence, like everything around it?

Yeah. So my takeaway of recording videos is that you are able to, to look yourself and to point out your mistakes, the ones. And to be aware what should be your priorities. So that's huge. To be aware. It's priceless.

Right? Right. I think that's the biggest struggle of non native speakers is that they learn and learn and learn, but they have no idea if they are doing it right or not. So they either practice the wrong way. Right. Like constantly practice, or they practice the wrong things, like unimportant things. Whereas, like, they don't notice things that, that are more dominant or present in their speech, which is important. So that's, that's a good point. Because a lot of times we make mistakes and we don't even notice.

Exactly.

Clarity. Yeah.

Yeah. And of course, we all want to, to get feedback. Right. Like, oh, I need someone to help me. I want to correct my mistakes. But the thing is that you have to learn how to do it by yourself.

Yeah, exactly.

Through videos. That's a good way to do it.

Absolutely. Like, you can't have a speech Coach standing right here, always talking to you. And you don't want it. You want to be able to pinpoint your mistakes and to work through that. And that's also what we do in the program. So you later joined Accent Makeover as well. My signature program, right?

Yeah, I did.

So when you decided to join, you probably had a lot of things that felt like an obstacle, you know, like probably grammar. Right. Or the flow, fluency, word retrieval, your vocabulary. Yet you chose to join a program called Accent Makeover. So obviously it has to do with pronunciation. Of course, it's not just pronunciation, because it's also the mindset and the fluency and the strategies for self learning. But it mostly deals with spoken English. So why did you decide to go in that direction? And how has it helped your fluency and confidence?

Eventually, at the beginning, I have to be honest, I was kind of getting mad of people telling me, oh, can you repeat yourself? Right. And I thought it was about my accent. So I decided to join the Accent Makeover. But the most important thing is not about accent. It's about gaining clarity.

Yeah.

And as you have said before, if you can't hear the sound, you can produce it.

Yeah.

And the program, it's all about that. It's about being aware of the sounds and then try to produce them. Right. And integrate them into your daily speaking skills.

Yeah. So, yeah. So it's really important to improve your clarity so you're understood. But also, I think that it really is important for yourself. Like, sometimes people get so caught up with how they sound, and so it creates that, you know, tension, internal tension, and you feel stressed out. And then when you get stressed out when you speak, then your brain shuts down. Right. And then you're like, you know, and then you start forgetting things or you make stupid mistakes. So what would you say to someone who is afraid to speak because they're afraid of being judged? Because when you shared your first video, you. You said, I didn't feel like I was going to be judged, which gave you the permission to do that. I'm sure it's also that, like that specific community and how it felt, maybe it wouldn't have been the same in different circumstances, but there are a lot of people who don't communicate, don't speak, because they're afraid, because they're afraid of coming off as stupid. So what would you tell them?

You know, the best thing you can do is just to expose yourself. If you want to get different results, you have to do things in a different way. So we are not going to get ready, never until we do it. So we just go for it and start from one point and then you're going to get better as the time goes by. And that's it.

That's really what it's about. Right. Like, and I think the fact that you put yourself out there, you started creating videos at the beginning was like on a daily basis.

Right.

And then also the fact that now you have opened your own YouTube channel, which is like, okay, so I'm going to share with the audience that at the beginning, before you opened it, you consulted with me if you should do it in English or in Spanish. Right. And what was your biggest fear about doing it in English, which you ended up doing?

Yeah, so I'm teaching Spanish in English and my fear was that, you know, my English is not that perfect. I mean, there's a long way ahead of me. So I was afraid of people saying, oh, but why should I learn with you if you don't have master your second language, How I'm going to be able to master a second language through your help. Right. So it was challenging, but I'm going all for it. Yeah.

And I'm sure it does wonders to your English as well. Like the fact that you're speaking in front of the camera and kind of like, you know, putting yourself out there all the way in like the least comfortable place in front of the camera on YouTube speaking English, you know, So I think that. Exactly. So I think that you are a perfect example of someone who is not letting her circumstances kind of like determine your results or your reality, which is what we like. We constantly need to remind ourselves, like sometimes we're born into circumstances and that are not ideal. Like we are underprivileged in a way because we are not born into English. And especially if you live in an English speaking country. But you can feel miserable about it and be like, well, you know, this is just me. And like, I don't, I don't have, I'm not lucky, I don't have anyone to speak with. Or you can decide to do something about it now I can hear it. People are probably saying, hey, it's easy for you, you live in an English speaking country.

But not. That's a spare time.

Exactly. First of all, like now life is so accessible online. You can reach out to so many people. Like people in our community are from all around the world. And even when you move to the U.S. it's not like you had, you know, like your family and your friends to speak with it's not like you could practice every single day.

And I mean, I have no friends here, I have no family here, I don't work here. So it's not that easy to get in touch with people, with Americans.

Right. So it's not like the fact that you live in the US doesn't make you automatically like privileged for living in an English speaking country. Like you still had to put in the work and you did it even though you were slightly isolated. And you have come such a long way from like a year and a half ago when we met in the influency community and then through the accent makeover program, which you took it a few times. Right. Like two or three times. Like you showed up, you know, whatever was important for you, you came back to it and you focused on it, which was great.

And then membership. So we can come back whenever we want.

Yes, it's lifetime membership and it's important to say that we are about to open registration for Accent Makeover and I hope you're going to be there and kind of like mentor all the new people that come in. But yes, so you're all invited and. Yeah. And then through your channel, you know, which is so, so beautiful to see. Can you share with us? Where can people find you all your social handles like your Instagram and your YouTube channel.

So for sure on Instagram and YouTube channel is the same. Speak Spanish with Paula and you can find videos about grammar, a little bit of pronunciation and everyday topics, how to say several things like how to say yes in different ways. On Instagram and YouTube it's the same. Speak Spanish with Paula and you can find grammar videos, pronunciation videos, everyday topics. And I'm trying to do videos about learning strategies so you can find your own method to learn the language on your own.

That's fantastic. So you guys, even if you don't want to learn Spanish, go over to her channel and just out of respect to her journey, then hit subscribe because she's really, really fantastic. And I love watching your videos, even though I don't learn Spanish, but I do watch them. So that's awesome.

Thank you. Yeah, to be exposed on YouTube is not the same of being exposed in the influence challenge in the influence community. Because back then, you know, it's a safe place, you know, people are supportive but on YouTube is the other way around.

Yeah, yeah. So you really have to deal with criticism, you know, and like people saying stuff and everyone has an opinion.

So.

Yeah, but like the most important thing is that it doesn't matter, like you really have to know your vision, to know who you're trying to help and do the work and show up for them and not let all those negative voices kind of like deter you from what you're doing. And it's the same for speaking so.

You don't have to.

You guys watching. Like, you don't have to open a YouTube channel to feel like you're doing something important. It's enough to just speak up in a meeting or put yourself in a social circumstance where you have to communicate in English even though you'd prefer to go back home and sleep. Right? Like, you gotta put yourself out there even though you might think or even experience the judgment of others. Because when you are afraid of what other people might think, then they become more important than you. Right? Like their thoughts are more important than you, which is ridiculous.

And we have to be aware that our thoughts drive our actions. So we have to our mind in order to be able to, you know, to speak up and to expose ourselves out there and, yes, just forget about your negative thoughts.

Amen to that. So why don't you tell us a little bit about your experience in the influencing community?

Yeah. So what can I say? You know, I have cried, I have laughed, I have danced, I have acted out over there, right? So it's been such a great opportunity for me to expose myself and to gain confidence and to meet awesome people, you know, everyone support each other over there. You don't find that in everywhere, you know, it's not easy to find that, right?

No, not at all. And it's really remarkable. I just remember when you said danced. I just remember the video that you made for my birthday. Now that was like a really mean gesture because not you like the entire community. Because I was in London on my birthday, I didn't have a lot of Internet connection, and all of a sudden I see dozens of birthday posts. And every post is like people telling me incredible things, right? And you were there dancing and singing and I was like crying on a bar in London, like, alone. But I wasn't alone because I had my entire community on the phone. It was so amazing. And yeah, I think we had such beautiful gestures like these from simple things. Like someone would tell a story and everyone would come in and support him or her. And, you know, like, it's really like the community of the most magnificent people I have ever encountered, for sure.

And as you said, speaking about loneliness, the influencing community came to me in the right time because I was kind of a new way here, you know, getting used to this country, this culture. And my husband would travel every two weeks for one or two weeks.

Oh, wow.

By my own. So I just have the Internet and the virtual family that we have in the community. Right. So it helped me a lot to. Don't feel alone.

Yeah. Yeah. I think, you know, like, I think that there's something about making videos and being honest and vulnerable that really connects people a lot more than just interacting. You know, my attacks on social media. Yeah. And then people respect you more. We barely had any incidents where, you know, people would be mean or rude or aggressive.

I was kind of waiting for people to post their videos and to watch their videos and commenting on the videos. So, yeah, it's an awesome experience. You have to join, guys.

And now we do, like weekly discussions and we have activities that members create. So it's a lot of fun and we have challenges there. Yeah.

What do you like to do? No, it's about controversial topics. It's about you exposing yourself, talking about intuition, talking about the love of attraction. So it's so, so good.

Yeah. Because it's like, okay, how many times can I talk about why, you know, I need to learn English or what? Like, you know, talk about what I do at work. Like, we get bored with it or we get really good at speaking about it. But then when we need to talk about, you know, like, global warming, then it's like, how do I find the words? But that struggle is your gift because then the words come to you or you search for them or you hear other people talk about it and then you're like, I know how to handle a conversation about global warming. Yay.

You know, ever you get stuck, you write down why you got stuck. Was it because of vocabulary? Was it because of grammar point? Was it? So, yeah, absolutely. That's.

That's really good. Yeah. So come join us. Yeah, we're going to put a link to join the community right in the description. So click on it. So one last question is some people say that pronunciation is just like luxury. It's not important to learn. Or the accent, the intonation, like, it's not important to learn before you know the language really well. And then it's just like the icing on the cake. Right. And this is not what you've experienced when you joined accent makeover. So can you talk a little bit about that? Like, why do you think pronunciation is essential for from the get go? How can it help English learners?

Yeah, because sometimes we used to learn a language the other way around. So we start from grammar and we forgot pronunciation, and we've been making mistakes all this time, and then it's so hard to break that bad habit. Accent makeover program has helped me to go through those bad habits and to change it. And clarity, right.

Because it's not about, like, losing your accent.

No, it has nothing to do with losing your accent. There's nothing bad to have an accent. It's about clarity. It's about you empowering yourself in speaking up. And that's what we do. You know, we shadow people, we imitate tech talks, we act in the accent makeover, and that gives you the feeling of empowerment. And that's awesome. That's really awesome.

That's really awesome. Yeah.

Yeah.

Okay. And with that beautiful thought and empowering thought, I want to thank you so much, Paula and Paula and your Spanish or your American name, I'm gonna keep on following you, and if you want to interact with us, come on over to the influencing community on Facebook. It's really great. Yeah. Yeah. And that's it. So thank you so much, and good luck with everything.

Thank you. It.