318. Live Accent Coaching 1:1 – Listen to me work with 5 different students! – Part 1

Welcome to the Influency Podcast. I'm Hadar and this is episode number 318. Today you are going to listen to me coaching students on their pronunciation. Hey. Hey, everyone. Thank you so much for being here today. Today I'm going to share with you part one of a very long coaching session that I had on my YouTube channel. Coaching students on their pronunciation so they struggled with a certain sound or intonation or other challenges that they faced and I coached them live. Now, this was a two hour session which is a long session, so I.

Wouldn'T want to share with you the.

Entire session in one episode. So we split it into two and this is part one. I think the good thing about listening to these types of lessons it because it develops your listening abilities and your critical listening. I wanted to say hearing, but it's listening because you are intentional about it. It's not something that you just observe. So I want you to be able to notice the things that I talk about, the nuances in speech, the difference in sounds between how I pronounce it and how my students pronounce. Pronounce it. And when you notice those things, it is a lot easier for you to do it yourself. So whether you're just starting out or maybe you have a lot of experience, maybe you are a teacher of English and you want to help your students with pronunciation. These types of lessons are definitely going to help you develop your critical listening and your perception of different sounds and the sounds of English in particular. So I hope you enjoy it. There's also a lot of conversation there and some coaching about confidence and fluency. So I think we should just get started with part one. Let's listen.

Okay, my friends, we are going to bring on Lorena first. Lorena, are you ready? Okay, let's do it.

Hi. Hi.

How are you doing today, my love? So you're here today because you asked to work on particular challenges that you're facing. So share with us in general a little bit about your English journey and what is your main struggle when it comes to pronunciation in English.

Okay. So I never took like formal classes of English. I learned by myself, you know, watching YouTube and when I was seven or eight years, I remember that I wanted to be, I always wanted to be an actor. So I started studying English by myself. But as a person, that never took Lasse. I never had the opportunity to speak with someone else and practice my English. I was getting too much information and I never had the opportunity to put that information on practice. And one of the things that I struggle is with my speed. I speak really fast in Spanish, so I bring that to English. It's really hard to me because that brings another problem and it is the STS SPS sound. I don't know how that name is, but clusters.

Clusters, yeah.

So, yeah, I struggle with clusters, especially when I'm speaking fast because I don't remember.

So can we just begin with the fact that I admire you and admire your work and the fact that you're a self learner, love self learners. Right. I do not take it for granted and neither should you.

Okay.

For the fact that you have achieved such great, like you're here expressing yourself, communicating with me in front of all these people with confidence. I know that you might be a little anxious, but it's nervous. But it's good nervous. It's a good opportunity. But at the same time, hey, you're here and you're speaking and you're clear and you're wonderful and you're totally expressing your personality. So let's acknowledge that all the rest is luxury problems.

Right?

Like it's stuff that we can take care of, but it's not a must for you to succeed and to be yourself and to be like, you know, to get what you want when it comes to English. Having said that, like, this is something that bothers you. And just to clarify for those watching, because I have a feeling that you already know that when it comes to speaking a second language, we sometimes carry over some of the rules that we have in our native language. So you're a Spanish speaker, and in Spanish there are no clusters, and clusters is a sequence of like two or three and sometimes four consonants in a row, right?

Yeah.

And for example, the word brings or texts or strength.

Right?

Like when we have a lot of consonants and that doesn't happen in Spanish. So you grew up, you know, speaking Spanish, never having to do all these clusters, and all of a sudden here you are trying to speak English and use those weird sequences that your mouth is not used to saying. So your brain is kind of like deleting them. It's not that your tongue struggles with pronouncing them because your tongue is capable of doing many, many fancy stuff, right? But your brain is thinking, okay, I don't have that in Spanish. This is not important. Let's. Let's get rid of some consonants so it's easier. Right? So if you have texts, you might end up saying something like text, right? Or text. Or text.

Text.

I just said the same thing. Yeah, text instead of text. Especially when speaking Fast. Because I have a feeling that this awareness that you have allows you to say it slowly, properly. Am I right or not?

Yes.

Okay, good. So let's think of a few words to practice. Okay. Let's start with just something maybe not related to an S or a T. Let's try the word mind.

Mind.

Good. I don't mind that you're calling me.

I don't mind that you're calling me. I don't mind that you're calling me.

I don't mind.

Beautiful. Look at how well you reduce that. Your. Your. This is good. I don't mind that you're calling me.

I don't mind that. I don't mind that you're calling me. I don't mind that you're calling me.

Yes.

I don't mind that you're sending me text messages. Oh, my God.

I don't mind that you're sending me text messages. Good. I don't mind.

Text messages.

Text messages.

Good.

Text messages. Test messages.

Great. Say it again.

Test. Messages. Messages.

Yeah. What did you do there? You put.

What? Test. Messages. I put an end, man.

Very good. You're so good. You're so aware. Messages. Messages.

Messages. Messages. Messages.

Right.

Messages.

Good. What is that last sound in Messages?

Messages. Messages. Messages. Is it right?

Yeah. Very good. And what is the first sound? Like, the first S? Is it an S or a Z? Mess.

Yes. Messages. Very good.

Now, sometimes they make it. You may confuse them, right? Because there is no Z, like a real sound of a Z in Spanish, Right. So you might kind of, like, either overdo it or drop it. Messages. Do it again.

Messages. Messages. Messages.

I sent you a message. On messenger. On Facebook. Messenger.

I send you a message. I send you a message. Message.

I.

Sorry. I sent.

Oh, good. Yeah. Okay, so first of all, like, this is what we're looking for, right? Like, when it's easy, it's not interesting. For us, there is no change, Right? Like, we can't grow. We can't improve when it gets hard. This is like, okay, let's kind of like, dive deep and see how we can change it. Because then you start changing patterns.

Yeah.

I sent you a text. Let's break it down into two units. I sent you. What did I say? I sent you a message.

Right.

Do it again.

I send you a message.

Good. But if we're talking about the past, I want to hear the T, which means I don't want to hear a D sound I'm hearing. I send you.

Right. I sent you. Listen.

Send you. Sent you.

Sent you.

Yes.

Yeah.

Same.

There is a little shortcut that we can take when there is a T and a. Yeah. Do you know what happens when there is a T and then a Y right after, like, when I say. I'll say it separately, deliberately, like, can't you. Got you. What happens when I combine the T and the Y?

Yeah. Can you.

Can't you try to say it really fast?

Can't you?

Can't you.

Can't you.

What did I add? Yeah, Marcus. Can't you Sh.

Ch. Right.

Can't you.

Right.

Don't you.

Don't you?

Don't you. Yes. Don't you know it?

Don't you know it?

Oh, so good. Now I send you. If you put it together. I sent you. I sent you.

It's easier.

I sent you. I sent you.

Yes, Good. Again.

I sent you.

Good. I sent you a message on Facebook. Messenger.

I sent you a message. A message on Facebook. Messenger.

Very good. Message.

Message. Message.

Yeah, abrations. Right. Okay, wait. You're repeating the same thing, and it's a little different than what I'm saying. Listen, you said. You're saying me sush, sush. And I'm going, for me, the beginning is great. Good. The difference between what you're doing is it's kind of like you're not stopping the air. You're saying. And it. There is a D. There S. Yes. Yeah. But now we need to be like. We can't push it.

Right.

Message. Yeah.

Message. Message. I'm shaking that.

Add a d. Add a d. Me. You know what? Let's do this. Listen. Good. Do it again. Good. I'm writing something.

Right.

I'm adding here. Something. Look at.

Good.

Now if we want to. I sin.

Wait.

I'm writing it phonetically.

Say it.

I sent you.

I send you. I send you.

I sent you. Sent you.

Send ya. I send you a message. A message.

Good.

A message.

Yeah.

On run.

Me.

Good. I just wrote it phonetically. I sent you. I sent you a message.

I send you a message. Message. Message. A. Messenger.

Yes.

Send you a message. Message.

Feel the vibrations.

Message. Message. Message on messenger.

Good. Now round your lips a little bit for Messenger.

Messenger. Messenger. Messenger.

A little bit. A little bit. A little bit. Jer. Yeah. Right. Messenger.

Messenger.

Yes. So good. Okay, now, so we. We can identify just from this, that, like, sometimes, you know, that and get confused. Right. And the. And sometimes get confused.

Yeah.

So, like, the secret for that is to drill words with one sound and then drill words with another sound and keep being aware of, you know, your voice, making sure that you Are using. Right? Like you're using this, the vocal cords, when you do have the J or the Z or Z sound. Okay, now let's try. Let's try just a few words. Let's try scripts.

Scripts.

Good. Things.

Things.

Juices.

Uses.

Juices.

Uses.

Good. You Uses.

Uses.

Right. He uses. Yeah, that was good.

Uses.

Let's go for strength.

Strength.

Good. Say it again.

Strength.

Good. And let's try texts.

Texts.

Right. I'm reading many scripts.

I'm reading many scripts.

Very good. Now you drop the T, which is totally fine. You can totally do it. Because when you have the word scripts, a lot of times people just drop the T and say scripts. And that is okay. Okay, now a little note. Side note. For those of you who tend to drop consonants, sometimes it's legit to drop a consonant, so you start dropping it left and right. I don't think that's your case, Lorena, but I think that sometimes we give ourselves permission to drop some consonants because native speakers do that as well. And I would say it's tricky and be careful about it. Even though there are things that native speakers do, like dropping T's left and right and dropping some of the sounds, there are some things that when they do it, it doesn't jeopardize their clarity. But when non native speakers do it, it jeopardizes their clarity because they end up. If the vowels are not clear enough, where the other consonants are not clear enough, then you know, by the fact that they dropped some consonants, even though it's legit, it just causes them to be less clear because everything else is not perfectly fit. Right? Like it's not already working. Only when everything else is intact, then you can start dropping things. I'm saying that because I see a lot of people saying, okay, but I can drop some consonants at these positions, you know, and they try to do that, but then it just. It plays against them. Okay, now, is there a specific word that you struggle with or anything, you know, that, like, specific. That I can still help you with?

I think it's all these words that have. For example, in broad structure, impress. Like the structure that sounds. Sometimes it is really hard for me to say, let's try infrastructure.

Infrastructure.

Infrastructure. Good.

You're doing everything fine. You just need to dial it down a little bit because you're putting a lot of energy into it, which gets you to kind of like get all tangled up, right?

Yeah.

Infrastructure. A lot of schwas.

Right?

Like drop your jaw. Infrastructure.

Infrastructure.

Go ahead, say it again.

Infrastructure.

Infrastructure.

Infrastructure.

What is the primary stress here. By the way, what is the one syllable that sticks out the most?

Infrastructure. Bra.

Oh, you know what? Let's pretend like you are at the mayor's office and you're really angry because the infrastructure in your street is ridiculously poor. Right?

Yeah.

And you are going to the mayor's office because you got a meeting, and you're, like, walking inside and you're banging on the table and you're saying, listen, buddy, we need better infrastructure. And you bang on the table when you say the word infrastructure. On what syllable would you bang when you say, listen, buddy? We need better infrastructure.

Infrastructure.

Very good. Okay. You told him, my friend. In, right? That's was in your body. Anyway, it's just like, we need to discover it by doing that beat, right? We need better infrastructure. In is the primary stress. If you were to say fr. Then it would sound like infrastructure. Right. And that's not how we say it.

Right?

Yeah.

Infrastructure. Let's say it together. Infrastructure.

Infrastructure.

Listen to you. The moment you put the stress on the right syllable, everything else was effortless. Right? Like, all of a sudden you didn't get all tangled up with your pronunciation. Do it again.

Infrastructure.

Yeah, because most of the energy goes for the in, and everything else is, like. It's just there for structure. Especially because there are no other vowels, just schwas.

Right?

Infrastructure. For structure. Infrastructure. We need better infrastructure.

We need better infrastructure.

We need better infrastructure in our neighborhood.

We need better infrastructure in our neighborhood.

Very good. Notice your B. Neighbor. Not neighbor.

Neighbor.

Yeah, close your lips. Neighborhood.

Neighborhood. Neighborhood. Neighborhood.

From the beginning. We need better infrastructure in our neighborhood.

We need better infrastructure on our neighborhood.

One more time.

We need better infrastructure on our neighborhood.

Good try. In our. In our. In our.

In our.

In our neighborhood.

In our neighborhood. In our. In our neighborhood.

One more time, from the beginning.

We need better infrastructure in our neighborhood.

Very good. Now add the listen, buddy. Listen, buddy.

Listen, buddy. We need better infrastructure in our neighborhood.

Yes. Okay. You told him. Okay, so just to wrap it up really, really good. So when you have those long, fancy words that seem. Seem impossible, all you need to do is ask yourself, what is the primary stress? That's what I'm concentrating on. What is the vowel for the primary stress? Right? And then that's the first question, right? Like availability. Try it with me. Availability.

Availability.

Availability. Sorry, I gave you a hard one. I gave you a hard one because it has a V and a B, and for Spanish speakers, these are getting confused. So that's good. Let's stay with that for A second longer available. Good. Do it again. Availability. Right. Yeah. Availability. Right. What's the primary stress? Just making sure.

Availability.

Yes.

So you know that the primary stress is B, right? Yeah. So all you think about is B. All the rest, even if you mess it up, you will still be clear. If you mess up the primary stress, we might get in trouble.

Right.

Because it might not be clear. Not really. Not really get in trouble.

Right.

But I'm exaggerating it. I'm raising the stakes so it's more interesting. Availability.

Availability.

Amazing. So good. Someone suggested. And that would be the last word for today. Someone suggested. Refrigerator. Refrigerators.

Refrigerators. Refrigerators.

Good. Say it again.

Refrigerators.

I just fixed my refrigerator.

I just missed my refrigerator.

Good. Notice the fixed. We have fixed. Fixed. I just fixed my refrigerator.

I just fixed. Fixed my refrigerator. Oh, my God.

That's one more. I know we like hard.

I just fixed my refrigerator.

Good. See, now your mouth already knows how to handle it. All you need to do is just say it a couple more times. So say it a couple more times.

I just fixed my refrigerator. I just go.

Don't forget the.

I just fixed my refrigerator.

One more time.

I just fixed my refrigerator.

Exactly. So when it comes to pronunciation, the mouth knows what it needs to do. The tongue knows where it needs to go. It. You just need to teach it and take it step by step by step. And do it slowly with all those clusters that you struggle with. Right. You do it slowly. It's kind of like you're telling your tongue. Then you do it again and then faster. Right. You can't do it. Like you can't understand that there are these three sounds. And then do it quickly like nothing. Like you've been doing it all your life. I mean, it doesn't work that way. Right. Like your mouth needs to catch up. Fix my refrigerator one last time.

Fix my refrigerator.

You are remarkable.

Thank you. Yeah.

Okay. Lorena, thank you so much. Thank you for all the beautiful work that you've been doing in the influency community. I really appreciate it. You're a big part of the community and that's it. Anything else that you'd like to.

I just want to say thank you because you create this great community where I found out good people, great person that had helped me with my English and with my confidence, because I don't think I will be able to post a video on Facebook if it weren't for this before. And now I feel less like I found this community. And yeah, thank you for that.

It is a beautiful Community not only post videos, but go live in front of 400 people.

Right.

So that's also because we have like, we're broadcasting on many different platforms. So. Yes, good for you.

But I'm sweating because I'm nervous. I'm nervous. But thank you, thank you for this.

Well, thank you. Thank you so much and take care and I'll see you in the community. For those of you who haven't joined our community, the influency community on Facebook, just go to my website and you'll see it like an invite to join. So thank you, my love and thankful work.

Bye.

Ciao. Ciao. Okay, next up, let's see. Okay, so we're gonna go with Gal and then we're gonna go with Cohen and we'll get to everyone. Georgi and Marita. Hi, Gal.

Hi. How are you?

I'm very good. How are you?

Good.

I don't know if you remember me, but I was participating in one of the crosses you had in Tel Aviv a few years ago. I think I remember you.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I remember you. How are you doing?

I'm good, actually. I live in la.

Oh, wow. That's a big shift from Tel Aviv to la.

Exactly.

How are things in LA now?

It's good. I'm working. I didn't really feel, you know, all the quarantine and everything because I've been working since it all has started, so. Yeah, it's a good thing.

I see. It is a good thing. And how are you feeling? Are you working online?

No, I'm at the office right now. Yeah, I have a permission from my bus. It's very important, so it's okay.

Go ahead.

Perfect. My love. So how can I help you today? You wanted to work on intonation, right?

Exactly. Yes.

Okay. And what is usually like. Is it really like understanding the difference between or like having a better understanding of the intonation in English or when you're speaking, you feel like you can't apply it? What is it?

The thing is that I'm not even sure that I'm applying because surrounded with so many Americans and you know, when I'm speaking. So sometimes I even try to imitate them, but I'm not sure. I'm not sure that I'm doing it right.

Okay.

Yeah.

Listen, first of all, there is no right or wrong. Right. Imitation is something that is internal. And there is always something that happens once the sound goes into your ear and comes out through your mouth because your brain analyzes it in a certain way. And then sometimes like the Translation is a little different. And also, like being inspired, let's say when you're speaking to someone, maybe we don't want to use, like, I'm imitating them in front of them. But like, when you're being inspired by someone's accent and pronunciation. Right. Like, it's good. And usually it happens anyway. It's called the chameleon effect. When you start imitating someone else's accent, which is sometimes, like, if you might speak to someone with a French accent or, you know, a Japanese accent or, like, a different accent, you might catch their rhythm as well. Does that ever happen to you? Yes, when you speak to.

Yeah, actually, when I speaking with them. So it's like trying, like, to understand in my head, you know, like when they say something so I'm like, I'm repeating on it, but not in front of them. It's like. You know what I mean?

Yeah.

Like, I'm trying, like, to. To say the same thing and sometimes, like, even write it down. And then, okay, I have to come back on it. And they know. Like, I always ask them, did I say it right? Like, is it good what I'm saying? Like, if I'm saying something wrong, try to correct me.

And usually they don't because it's not polite. So usually they're not going to be.

It's funny because they don't even pay attention to it. You know, when I.

Like the things that you write exactly. Like, the thing. First of all, it would be considered impolite. So for those of you out there watching, like, expecting native speakers to correct you, even if they're your friends, I mean, they're not gonna do it. Like, they wouldn't want to interrupt you. And as you said, like, sometimes they don't even notice something, or they. Yeah, like, they wouldn't even know. It's not your coach, your speech coach that can hear something. They'd be like, I don't. Like, I might hear something, but they can't put it in words what it is. So, yeah, listen, first of all, I feel that your rhythm and intonation is very much like, you know, you really do have a really strong grasp of the melody and rhythm of English. What I would recommend is, let's start a conversation and maybe tell me what it is that you do, or tell me about your day or just start speaking, and then I can kind of give you more directions as to what you are doing that might be slightly different than what English is expecting you to do.

Okay. Basically, when I first came here, I used to have my own marketing company for one year and then I decided that maybe I need to improve my skills. So I went to different interviews and I always used to have confidence when I used to speak in English. But there was one interview that they told me, not directly, but I heard from someone that I knew that I have the skills and the qualification and everything. But there is something with my accent. Yeah, exactly. This is what they said. And I was surprised in a bad way. You know, they like, we're looking for native speaker. But even though you have all the.

Skills, did they specifically say it's the accent that troubles them?

They said it's the accent and my English is not really good. It's not a native English, but okay. As I said, they didn't say it directly.

Okay, okay, know this person.

And then it's like all my confidence and everything dropped off. Yeah.

Well, first of all, first of all, probably this wasn't the work for you, the job for you, right? Like, you wouldn't have wanted to work at a place that is so narrow minded that they're not even open to accepting new voices and new people and new sounds. Right. Like, I think there is something very limited which shows a lot about the company culture. So first of all, let's acknowledge that. Second thing I want to talk about is the negativity bias, which is something that, like when we hear something along those lines, the first thing we think about is all the negative things. Like, it really dropped my confidence. You know, I felt crappy and all of that. But at the same time, what I was hearing when you said that is that someone said you had all the skills. Right? Like just, just like a little anecdote on how to look at things. You had all the skills, all the qualifications. You really, really had everything it took from this position, which is not to be taken for granted. So out of this experience, I think it would have been also nice to say, you know, yeah, I could have had that. They're just narrow minded and they're biased in a way that they're not accepting me. Unfortunately, it's still legal to not accept someone because of their accent. It should not be legal. Right. Like it's discrimination. But we do live in such a world. The most important thing, instead of rushing to change your accent or going into, okay, what am I going to do? And unique New York, Unique New York and doing all those drills is to be like, I know who I am, I know what I have to give the person who is going to hire me. Ultimately, you do have a Job is going to be lucky to have my skills. And ultimately a language is a form of communication. And you can have a language with, with certain set of sounds and certain like sometimes mistakes or a different rhythm and that is okay, right? So I know that technically you know that. But every time you feel a little less confident about what comes out of your mouth, remind yourself of the true value because that what really, really matters. Does that resonate with you?

Yeah. It's funny because, you know, even when I'm speaking with my coworkers about it and they're like, why, why are you trying to change your accent? Have like something very unique, you know, and very different from other people and why people are so excited of like studying the English and the American accent, you know, you have something different, stick to it.

Exactly. Like, exactly. And again like I do distinguish between learning pronunciation to sound clear, right? Like to be clear, to communicate your message so you know how to get what you want from the other person. Even the conversation around so people can understand you. F. That it's not about they can understand you. It's you getting what you want, right? Like it's not about making it easy on them to hear that otherness of me, of myself, right? No, it's for you to get what you want and to persuade them and to have them on your side. That's what we need, clear pronunciation and we want that in our native language as well. Because sometimes people in their native language are not clear, right? And this is why like we need that skill set of pronunciation. And this is why I do what I do not. Because I think that by any means you need to wash out your identity. Because it's exactly what they said in the work here, is for you to believe in it, truly believe in it. That you know, it's up to you to own up to your identity with the accent, right? Like with the mistakes, with getting stuck, stuck. And like sometimes it's a little clunky and stuck and being like, I'm just remarkable and awesome and people are interested in what I have to say. Do you feel that on like the day to day communication, do you feel held back by how you sound or.

Actually I have really good friend here that every morning we're like, we're, you know, making some coffee and we have like 10 minutes that we're talking about different topics, everything, like from politics to like conspiracy theory, everything. And when you like touch is like totally different topics. So sometimes I'm trying like to figure it out. How am I supposed to explain myself you know, because it's something that I'm not used to speak daily, you know, and then I totally use it because I used to speak English very fluently. And suddenly when we talk about politics. Politics. So I'm trying to forget some certain words. So, yeah, this way of losing my confidence.

But listen, it's like I told Lorena before, I don't know if you've seen it. Like, everything was easy for her. And then all of a sudden I gave her a phrase, and that was hard. And all of a sudden she's like, wait a minute. Wait, wait, wait. You know, like she wanted to just pause the session, practice it a little bit and come back. They said, no. That moment where you get stuck, that's the breakthrough moment, right? Like, you won't achieve a breakthrough. You won't achieve changes, right? If you wouldn't have those moments of conflict and those moments, the moments where it's easy for you. There is no growth there, right? Like when it's easy and fluent and smooth and you're proud of your English, you're in your comfort zone, right? Like, there is nothing that is really changing in your brain to get you to the next level. But when you talk about politics, and God knows, politics is complicated, I don't even know how to talk about politics in Hebrew in a way that will clarify exactly what I want to say or to complain about. So when you put yourself in a situation that is unsafe, you are putting yourself out of your comfort zone. And that is a golden moment for you to grow. And the question is, what do you do with that moment? Okay, you have two choices. One, to kind of like, just try to get by, right? Like, and make as little mistakes and get stuck the least possible and then move on to your comfort zone, right? So that's one opportunity. And two, to use it. Could take advantage of it and to kind of like, be in that moment of stuckness where you're searching for the words and either getting help from your partner, which I'm sure he or she would be more than happy to help you with the lost words.

Yeah, she.

Exactly right? And then you hear a word and you're like, this word is unavailable, right? Like, this is a word that I need to express myself and it's not available, so I need to do something about it.

Basically, I have a solution. Tell me. Morphix are very good friends.

Morphix is a dictionary for those of you who don't know it.

Great.

But still, I'm going to challenge you here. I'm going to challenge you here, let's say you lose a word. What do you do about it? So you go to Morphix, you go.

To the dictionary, and then I'm like, okay, let me look for the word. And then, okay, this is the word. And then, then I'm using.

And then what? No, no, I'm interested in then what you're using it.

I'm just implementing it in the sentence, basically.

Beautiful, Good. And then that's like the second step. The first step is to kind of like look for it, which is fantastic. Like, this is exactly what I would probably recommend for you to do. But once you have implemented it in the sentence, you have to understand that the word is sneaky, right? Like that missing word that you have just discovered. It's sneaky.

Yeah. I have to show you something regarding to it. Okay. Me and my friend here, we had an argument about this word. There is the word aggregate, but you can also say consumulate. Right? It's like the same thing, same meaning.

But it's something that is so common in English, right?

Yeah. She's never heard about the word aggregate. And then I was looking video and I'm like, do you see people are actually speaking and using this word? And she's like, no, we're saying. We're saying consumulate, you know, so it's totally different. So sometimes I'm using some words that she's never heard about, which is also.

To show us that even native speakers, they don't own the entire vocabulary of English.

Right.

This is such a good example of like, hey, you know, no one's perfect, no one's trying to be perfect. And we gotta kinda like take the pressure off our shoulders. But what I'm trying to say is that once you used it once, don't assume it will be there for you the next time. Okay. That's what I'm trying to say. Like the fact that you discovered a word, used it in a sentence, there is one more step that you need to do and to get it on your kind of like. And to be more intentional about using this word. So. So one of the things that I do is first of all to develop the pronunciation confidence by repetition. So you might want to do it again and again and again. Say it again and again and again and again, right? And then you want to use it in different sentences that you invent. Okay? So even after the conversation, stick with that word, right? Like, stay with that word that you just discovered and used it for the first time and kind of like create and say a few sentences out loud. It will help you kind of like, keep. Keep it with you for the next conversation. But it seems to me like you know what you need to do, and you're doing it. And I just want to commend you for putting yourself in these conversations and situations, and you're not afraid of them. Because I know a lot of people, even maybe people who are watching this, they might avoid such conversations because of the fear of not finding the words. Maybe they don't have such a supportive partner like you do, and maybe they are not willing to have that moment of being stuck. So I just want to congratulate you on doing that. And I think that this is definitely. If you feel insecure, then remind yourself that you are growing, right? Like, and you are improving.

I feel that I don't have a choice because I don't have, like, the Native American English. So I'm trying even to work harder to improve myself, you know, because as I told you, most of the people here are Americans. And sometimes right now I have, like, a meeting with Amazon. So I'm, like, trying even to work harder. So, by the way, I implement every podcast and everything you said you're talking about, it's actually things that are happening here. So when I have, like, a meeting, so I'm trying to prepare before, like, what am I good for you? What am I gonna say? You know, which words am I. I gonna use so they won't feel like the gap between me and them. Because this is how I call it, so.

Yeah, right, exactly. And every time you go into a conversation, you also need to step into the mindset of there is no gap. Okay? You just have two different forms of expression. Because what you're doing is you're working hard to bridge the gap that doesn't really exist. Yes, like, you speak different languages, but, no, you are the same. You know, like, you're both human beings trying to communicate the language. That's just circumstances, right? Like, it's not the real deal. That's not the real, like, what you're trying to say. And it's a tool. It's a tool for you to do it. So I think that also not coming from a place of, oh, I need to prove myself, but I just need to be myself. That could put you in a state of mind, put you more at ease, which is something that we need when communicating. Because fluency comes when there is freedom and there is, like, effortlessness, when there is tension and anxiety and fear. The first thing that pays the price Is your fluency right? So if you get stuck, it's not because of your English, you need to check in with yourself and saying, what troubles me now? Why am I stressed? Who am I afraid of? Who is judging me? Is it my inner critic? Is it the boss? Is it, you know, someone else that is on the call? Is it another Israeli that is listening to me and he's judging me? Because who does she think she is? Right? Like, and all of those questions, speaking. So always, like, when something gets stuck before you can, like, start judging your English and your incapabilities, check in with yourself and see what is the situation. Right. Like, what am I thinking feeling right now and how can I change it?

It's something that you said before, that it's all in our head. Because even sometimes when I judge myself and then I'm like, I'm asking one of the people, like, did I say it wrong? Like, you know, the way that I'm speaking and how was I in the meeting? And they're like, everything was good. I don't know why you always judge yourself and you criticize yourself because everything went well. You know, things that I, yeah. Believe that I wasn't good at, other people didn't see. So it's exactly what you said in one of the podcasts. You know, we always judge ourselves in something that, you know, other people don't even see. So.

Exactly. It's so in our head. And we project our own judgment onto other people. Right? So we can, like, think that the judgment that we have upon ourselves, that is a result of our childhood and, like, things that people have said to us growing up, and we have that judgment and we kind of like project it. And we're saying, like, they're thinking exactly that, and it's like such BS because they're thinking about what they're going to say and how they're going to answer you. Like, there was an image that came up to me as you were speaking, so I'm going to share that with you. I had like, this vision of, like, this woman running, right? And, like, running in the forest, right? Imagine yourself running in the forest. And let's say there are a lot of woods. And every time you run, you get something is getting stuck on you. You have pieces of wood and stuff. So you have two choices as you're running, because you need to run fast. Maybe there is a lion chasing you and you want to run fast. And no, maybe something positive. You're running towards the water and there is something that you get trapped on Some. Some weeds or something like that that, like, holds you back. So you have two choices. You can kind of, like, hold on to them and keep on running and hold on it and kind of, like, you still get a lot of stuff covering you, and then you keep on running so you become heavier, and it's harder for you to run, and you don't have that lightness or just like something is stuck on your shoulder. You just let it go and you keep on running. Right. And you have some weeds, you know, caught all over your legs, so you just kind of, like, let them go and keep on running. That's the same thing in a conversation. Like, you can get stuck on it and say, like, oh, I made a mistake, you know, and then the entire conversation's like, everything is so freaking heavy. And then you carry all that baggage with you, but at the same time, you could just say, oops, oh, stupid weeds. And then you keep on running, and then you're free. So it's your choice what to do with all those things that get stuck. Stuck on you. It's your choice. It's not about them. Right. And, like, you can't keep thinking about, you know, putting their opinions up on a pedestal, and that kind of messes up your performance. So I think that's the mindset.

Yeah, I'm working on it.

Good, good. So do it. And after the next call, send me a DM on Instagram and let me know how it goes. Okay, so we're gonna. I know that we wanted to work on intonation, but I think this is better. And your intonation is. It rocks. So just keep being you.

Okay. And just one last thing. I have to say that as I told you about the interview, so actually, it made me, like, work harder about my English and everything. And if you've been listening to me, like, six months ago, I was totally different. And I dedicate, like, one hour every day. I'm listening. I have a long way to work, so I'm listening your podcast, and every day, and I always implement it, and really, I feel like, big change, you know, from when I've started to actually study everything. So thank you for everything, and I really appreciate it.

Oh, I'm so, so happy to hear. And more power to you, and you should be proud of what you have achieved. Absolutely.

Thank you.

Okay.

Thank you, my love.

Bye.

Bye.

All right.

I think this is such an important lesson for everyone. You know, this idea of not being in your head so much and embracing and celebrating mistakes and celebrating moments where you get stuck to stop being so concerned about the rest, you know, and start being concerned about yourself and about feeling good and expressing yourself. Someone says in on the Other side, improving English is important to produce thoughts in writing and speaking. Of course, we're not saying not to produce thoughts, right? Like, or not to work on the English. But, like, do all the work. Practice pronunciation, practice your grammar, do all the work. But when it's time to show up and perform, just allow all the work that you've done to show up. And if it doesn't, be in the moment, and focus about connection and communication and not so much about what you're doing wrong or what else you need to do to be better, because that doesn't serve you in the moment. Okay? So always striving to be better in any aspect of life, like your health and your nutrition and your business and your career and your English. Yes, yes, yes. Strive for improvement, not perfection, improvement. But at the same time, don't put perfection as the goal, because perfection sucks and perfection will kill your fluency. Right? Like that need to be perfect or to get it right all of the time.

It.