324. Q&A: You asked, I answered! Answering my audience's questions

Welcome to the Influency Podcast. I'm Hadar and this is episode number 324. And today I'm going to be answering questions from my followers about pronunciation, confidence, mindset, voice and more. Okay, I'm going to start with one question from you guys from Kiara and then I'm going to move on to the questions that I have prepared for you. Okay? So Kiara is asking, is it really useful to watch videos or movies or series, TV series in English. I'll do it since six months and my English seems better. Okay, so Kiara says, I've been doing this for six months so it feels, feels like it has helped me with my English. Now Kiara, if you're here answering, if you can answer, let me ask you this. In addition to just watching TV shows and movies, have you done anything else? To answer your question, let's agree that anything related to English is good for you, okay? Like of course it would improve your English to watch a TV show in English rather than in your native language or you know, know if it were dubbed. So of course it's better to watch it in English. The question is, are you getting the improvement that you wish to see? That's a different question. Because I'll tell you this, when it comes to learning a second language, and I say that a lot, we tend to get caught up in passive consumption of the language because it's the easiest, right? Like watching television or reading books, it doesn't require a lot of effort on your end. I mean, some of you will say, hey Hadar, watching a TV show in English requires a lot of effort, that's fine. But honestly, you don't put yourself at risk when you're just consuming English passively, right? Because there is no fear of making mistakes because no one knows what's going on in your head. So you can pretend like, yeah, I understood everything or you know, deal with your own fears and insecurities in your head, but you're not expecting exposed. And a huge part of speaking a language is being exposed and having that uncomfortable space where you are all of a sudden pushing yourself out of your comfort zone, doing things that you're uncomfortable with because you know you're going to so called fail. Now I don't believe in failure. Not in life, not in business, and definitely not in English. But in our narrative, we keep thinking to ourselves, okay, if I make a mistake, that means that I'm going to fail. If I speak and no one understands me, that means that I'm going to fail, right? People are going to think that I'm this or that. So we have all of these fears and we tell ourselves all of these stories. And this is why it's very easy to stay in this passive consumption zone. Now, to say that it doesn't help at all, that would be a lie. And also, different people consume English or learn English in different ways. I know of many people who told me that simply by listening to podcasts, they were able to improve their English tremendously. And on the other hand, I know people who have been consuming English for years on end, and they still feel stuck. So at the end of the day, it does improve your knowledge of English, which is important, your passive vocabulary, which is important. But when time comes to speak, you gotta have speaking time and you gotta have practice, and you gotta know your. You know, you gotta know your basic grammar simply by speaking. I'm not. I don't talk about, like, learning grammar and memorizing rules. I'm not a fan of that. But, like, just understanding through listening and speaking and seeing whenever you get stuck or whenever you don't know how to say something, not because you don't know the words, but because you don't know how to structure the sentence, that's when you know, okay, there is something here that I don't know about English, and I need to learn. And this only happens. This only happens when you put yourself out there and you speak. So that's a long answer and probably not exactly what you expected. Kia ora. But what I'm saying is that I think that you need to remember that, like, watching TV shows is great, but if you wanted to make it amazing, turn passive into active. And how do you do that? By first repeating stuff that you hear, collecting phrases and words. Right. I'm all about copy pasting. I'm all about, like, stealing people's thoughts and ideas. Well, not really thoughts, but, like, ideas are the way they say things. And then you make it your own. You take that structure and you can, like, use it using your own content, but you can use the same phrases or the same structure or the. The way it was said by other people. But what you need to do is to take it and to say it a few times. So you gotta repeat it many times and build the pronunciation confidence by repetition. Okay, so this is how you can really leverage it into an excellent practice, by repeating stuff, collecting words, putting it on your list, and then practicing it using my vocabulary drilling technique that I have in one of my videos. And also, you can pause and repeat if you're Alone or echo it or shadow it. Right. Probably your family members or your friends are not going to like it if they watch it with you, but it's a really good practice technique. So these are the things that you can do while you're anyway watching. And again, like Chiara, if you said this has helped me a lot, then first of all, keep on doing it. It's amazing. And if it's working for you, then, then do it. And don't even listen to me. But when you hit a plateau and it probably will happen at some point where you feel like, well, I'm not improving anymore, that's when you need to start putting yourself out there more and getting conversation partners and speaking more. Okay, so good. I hope it helps. Jelena is saying I use shadowing often while teaching movies. And my boyfriend hates it. Of course. I mean, my partner slash husband. Like, whenever he hears me even reading Dr. Seuss or something to my girls, he's like, because I have this, you know, intonation and I overdo it sometimes because it's fun and playful and I'm crazy about Dr. Seuss. He's like, stop it. I can't hear it anymore. Yeah, so maybe don't do it with your friends and family or do it despite them. Yashi Yash says friends are really demotivating. It depends. Like, first of all, that's a good point. Okay, so what happens if the people around you don't support you? I just created a question out of your comment. I hope it's okay. Yeah, especially if you do it around your friends and they stop making fun of you or they say, you know, why are you doing this? You sound funny. If that ever happened to you, let me know in the comments below. If you had friends telling you, why are you doing this? You don't really need this, and all of that. Now, two things. I have a lot to say about this, but I'll try to summarize it into two things. One, it doesn't matter who it is. If it's your friend or your mom or your English teacher or your priest or your kids or your dentist, maybe if there is anyone out there that is telling you that you shouldn't be doing something that you want to do that gives you joy, that encourages you, that motivates you, that you know that you need, and someone is out there, there telling you, why do you need this? And they kind of like shut you down and make you feel a little uncomfortable, then this is one reason, one more reason why you should do it. Okay, one More reason why you should even do it. Even more. Because people will always have opinions, especially the people who are close to us. And it's hard not to let those opinions get to us, especially if it's close people like, you know, spouses or parents. But you have to remember that they usually speak out of their own fears and their own experiences and they don't know what you are going through and they. They don't know who you are in your life. And they have no right telling you what you need to do with your life. So it's going to happen, okay? I'm not saying that it's not going to happen. And a lot of times people think that they're being funny, right? Like making fun of you. But when that joke meets you at a place that you're already insecure about because you have your inner critic telling you all this crap anyway, right? And all of a sudden they're telling you this as well. And it just validates those negative thoughts that you have. And all you want to do is quit, remember that this is exactly the reason why you should keep on going, okay? And to prove. To prove it to them first reason, that's the last reason, really. But no, just to show them what perseverance is and what you know. Like that you are serious about what it is that you're doing. But at the same time, this is your life. No one can tell you what to do. And if it triggers you or it presses the buttons where it makes you feel even more insecure, you gotta remind yourself that these are just negative thoughts thoughts. And negative thoughts can turn into positive thoughts as well. It's just a matter of awareness and it's just a matter of decision. And you can turn those negative thoughts into positive thoughts. So that's my first thought. Don't let it get to you, because it has. It means nothing. Absolutely nothing. When someone has judgment about you, especially if it's a close person, it doesn't mean anything about who you are and what you're doing and about your choices. The second thing is try to avoid being in contact with people who bring you down. That's all I have to say. Even if it's friends. Like sometimes you have good friends for many years, but every time you're with them, it feels like they're sucking all your energy away. Be mindful of that. I mean, we do start the day with a very limited amount of energy. And if it is taken away from us for no good reason, and we don't invest it in ourselves or the things that we like or the people that we love. I mean, we need to think about it. And if it's only about certain areas in your life, let's say you're trying to eat healthy, healthier, and there is someone around you that keeps telling you, why do you need all that? Right? Like, just don't talk to that person about that. Or if every time you, you practice your English, your kids are making fun of you and they think it's funny, I mean, then don't do it around them because you know it's going to drain you and make you feel uncomfortable and make you feel insecure. So don't put yourself in situations where you might feel like a failure. Right. Be very careful about your circumstances and your surroundings. It's really, really important. Now I'm going to look at some of the comments and okay, Mary Lou is saying, be thankful to others when they make fun at you because you can challenge them while improving English. Right. Sandra is saying, it's true. I regretted that I listened to this comment once and I lost a good opportunity for me to grow more in my confidence. Yeah. And then, like, there is a slight moment where you feel insecure and then you want to do something and then you say to yourself, okay, maybe not. You know, I won't do it because she made fun of me. And then you lose an opportunity. And you lose an opportunity to practice, to improve, to change your circumstances. And who's paying the price here? Not your friends. Not the people who make fun of you. Now, now I'm talking about friends, right? And family members. But we also do that with strangers, right? We think too highly of what they think of us. Isn't it the reason why sometimes you're afraid to speak? It's not because you're. Because alone at home. Maybe you're not as afraid to speak as outside with people, with colleagues, with friends, even now, why is it so scary to speak around other people than it is to speak at home? It has nothing to do with English. It has everything, everything to do with the fear of what they're going to think about me when I mess up, not when I succeed, when I mess up. Because you're already anticipating that you're going to mess up. And because speaking a second language is basically the opportunity to mess up. Because when you speak another language that you weren't born into, it's really, really challenging. And it's really difficult to do it flawlessly. Not difficult, impossible. Impossible. So why are you expecting yourself to do the impossible and speak flawlessly and if you don't, you feel insecure and afraid and like a failure. Just a few things to think about. Okay, Lucas is asking a question. Lucas, what do you think about focusing on a regional accent when learning English? Like a New York accent? Like California accent? Hello. From Brazil. Brazil. Okay, let me tell you what I think about that. First of all, do whatever inspires you. So if you feel motivated when you hear people speaking with a New York accent or Southern accent and you get it and it feels so natural to you, then do it. To be honest, who cares? Who cares what accent you choose to follow? Who cares what inspiration you choose? I mean, in terms of the other world, the people outside. If it gets you to understand things better and it gets you to do the work and you love it and you're passionate about it, do it. Absolutely do it. I wouldn't worry so much about nailing a certain accent because when it comes to pronunciation and learning pronunciation and acquiring a new accent, because it's not reducing an accent, it's acquiring a new accent. When it comes to acquiring a new accent, the starting point is first becoming clear, right? So there are levels for most people around this world. All they need to do is just get themselves to speak clearly and accurately and with confidence and to deliver their message, knowing what words to stress and what words they don't have to stress. So all of that is probably important for you to become an empowered speaker. Speaker. Everything above that is luxury. And I'm all about luxury. Don't get me wrong, right? Like, I have worked on my pronunciation. So because I was in love with the melody and the sounds, and also as an actress, I had to acquire an American accent because it was a matter of getting certain roles or not. Right? But if that's not the case for you, then if you want to dive deep into that luxury and you have time, go do it. Work on whatever accent you want, whether it's standard American, received pronunciation, New York, Scottish, whatever it is, right? So as I said, I'm dividing it into two. The inspiration that you get through working on a certain accent and the actual work that is basically, you don't have to get a precise, specific accent unless you. You're really, really passionate about it. Okay, So a few people, I actually invited people, and I still invite you to record your questions and upload them to my website. Go to Ask Hadar, and you can submit your question there. By the way, I have a really nifty search bar over there where you can search for any term, and then it's going to pull out all the videos where I discussed this term. So really we invested in this really cool search bar that if you ever have a question for me and I'm not that available sometimes, then you can go to the to my website and go search for it and you'll find you can actually find the answer there. So you can also record an audio and send it to me. And then every once in a while I answer questions here and on my podcast. If you haven't subscribed to my podcast, go right now and subscribe to the Influency podcast on whatever podcast platform you listen to. Okay, Kenny, and I'm going to play. Let's pray that this works. I think it does.

Hi Hadar in high influencing community, or should I say influencers? I'm Kenny. I'm 22 years old and I'm from Venezuela. Here is my question. Hadar. I feel so excited about improving my English and my pronunciation intonation. But on the other hand, I really want to start learning another language. For example French or Portuguese or Arabic. But the thing is that I feel so afraid of losing my English level or not have time or maybe motivation to keep what I have to work on because it's not the same to learn a language that will prevent that language. So what I feel is that if I start learning another language, I will not be as fucked as I am right now to improve my pronunciation or my accent and stuff. So what should I do? Should I start learning another language or wait a little more until my English is a little more consolidated? Thank you very much for your answer and I hope you really listen to this. Bye.

Okay, great question. So Kenny's asking. He's very passionate about English and he wants to keep on improving and perfecting. Perfecting, we don't want to use that word. Right. And he wants to keep on improving and growing in English. However, the kid's passionate about languages, right? So he wants to learn another language. First of all, I commend you for your hard work and obviously it shows. You sound amazing confident. I understand you clearly. And I know I've known Kenny from Instagram, we've been texting each other and I know that he is incredibly passionate about this work and about English. Now here's what I think. First of all, I'm a multi passionate person and sometimes I know that I need to focus on one thing only, especially when it comes to business, right? But I love doing, doing many different things. So to me, not to do other things and only do that one thing is really heartbreaking. At the same time, there are times that I know that this could be just, like, an opportunity for me to avoid what is really important for me to do, to see improvement and growth and to move the needle in what I'm working on. For you, it's English. For me, it could be something else. So I'm saying, are you looking to learn a different language? Because you know that now is the hard work. And you know that, like, the first 80, 90% is, like, you're on this constant growth and you feel the improvement. And then when you get to the final, like, 20%, this is where the hard work starts. And sometimes we just decide, like, okay, I don't want to do that, and I'm going to do other things. I don't think there is anything wrong with that, by the way. I'm just saying. But we need to know what it is. At the same time, when you want to do other things, you need to understand that English is a lifelong journey. It's not something that you're going to be doing only in the next three months or six months. It's there to stay. You're gonna need. You're 22. You're gonna need English all your life. We always feel like we need to improve a bit more. That's the thing about English, because we. We grow. We grow. We feel that we hit a glass ceiling, and then a new world opens up, and we're like, ooh, there is all this to explore, you know? And every time you keep growing and every time you realize how much more you have to learn. So what you're experiencing right now is not, ooh, I have a lot more to learn. And if I only do it for three more months or six more months, I'll be at a good place in six months. Even if you put in a lot of work in those six months, you'll be like, yeah, but there's more. And I want this and that. So what I'm trying to say is English is always there, and the work on English shouldn't prevent you from pursuing your other passions. And, yes, of course, focusing on two different things or learning two new languages, let's say, is something that I would probably not recommend. I think the brain goes into, like, a mush, like porridge. Porridge inside your head, Right? And I think that is not a good idea. But you already know English well and you command it. So I think if you're passionate about it, and I hear in your voice that you are, it's time to have English right there next to you as you're learning another language. It doesn't mean that you leave it. You're not deserting English. It's everywhere. It's around you. And I'm sure you're not going to be stopping, you know, like thinking in English or practicing English or doing your thing. So even if you still devote the 5, 10 minutes a day for English, and then the rest of your practice time goes into another language, I think it's fantastic. You don't even have to devote those five and 10 minutes. And the reason why I gave the that pitch at the beginning is that you need to ask yourself. You, Kenny, but also everyone else asking themselves if you want to do other things, but you feel that your English is, you know, like you still have work to do on your English. Ask yourself, is it because you're a perfectionist and you think that, you know, you will get to a certain level if you only invest a bit more time or you have hit some kind of a struggle and you just want to avoid it? Because if that is the case, then I would say, wait, you got to keep pushing, my friend. You got to keep pushing. You got to keep on doing the work. But if that's not the case, which is not from what I understand and know you, Kenny, that's not the case. Then go ahead and do your thing and do it while English is right there next to you. Okay? Marcella is saying, hey, I'm learning multiple languages and improving my accent. Love that. Love that. Thank you, Marcella. Okay, how many languages do you speak, by the way? Your accent gives me hope. Well, thank you. And I speak two languages, unfortunately. I speak Hebrew and English, and I've studied a little bit of Spanish, Portuguese and Arabic. Not enough to call them my own. And I definitely have it on my list to learn two more languages. But here's the thing. It is difficult for me. Like, this is what I want to tell you, that I don't have a special talent for languages, and I actually don't even have a special talent for dialects. There are all these people that can pick up an accent. They listen to it, and they know how to do it. You might know Samara Bay. And she, for example, can listen to a certain dialect and she can start teaching it right away. I need to study it thoroughly and practice it alone before I can even go out and say something with. With that dialect. So it has been challenging for me, and this is why I've been slow on learning languages. So about English, I was very dedicated and I think that the work that I've done was really precise to what I needed. Right. It was really precise. Whether it was the acting or the pronunciation classes that I've taken and how I worked in English and all of that. I think this has helped me really kind of like, find the formula for me for acquiring that confidence and the pronunciation. Mohammed is saying, I'm learning English and Korean, by the way. I'm intermediate. Do you think I can balance between them? Well, I think it's for you to say, if you feel the improvement in both languages, then I guess the answer is yes. Right? Then the answer is yes. That's it. If you find the time, if you are able to devote the same amount of time for both, that's amazing. Okay, let's listen to another question. Let's listen to Maki's question.

Hello, Hadar. My name is Maki. I'm from Japan. I've been really curious about the connection between the head and body when speaking English. I love your podcast, all the episodes, but especially the one where you talked with Mr. Smith, it made me think a lot. You two talked about getting into your body, not in your head. I'm slightly getting the grasp of it, but my understanding is still a bit vague. So my question is, over the course of your English journey, what is the most effective practice to focus on your body, body, and what is it like to get into your body when speaking in a second language? I think my questions are a little weird, but thank you for your amazing tips and content. I'm looking forward to learning more from you. Have a good day.

Okay, Maki, what a great, great question. First of all, thank you for being a podcast listener, and I love it that you remember and liked the podcast that I had with Greg Smith about how to speak speak like a pro. And. Okay, so let's break it down. Maki is asking, what does it mean to feel something in your body rather than in your head? Because when we mentioned it, we talked about being a good speaker and connecting with your voice. And we said that when you're in your head and you're constantly thinking about what you need to do next and what you need to say and what people are thinking, then what happens is that you are detached from your body, and your body is where your voice resonates and lives. This is where your energy is. This is what people see when you speak on stage and feel. So I know this, and I've learned that as an actress because when we were in acting school, like, it was constantly this notion of if you want to really, truly be in the moment, you can think about what. What you need to do. Okay, now I'm going to go and pick up the glass, and now I'm going to say something really loud, because then you are not really connected with your emotions. And when you're connected with your emotions when speaking, then your voice is a lot more versatile and interesting, right? And you have pitch, like you're able to go up and down. And the emotions are expressed in your voice. And a lot of people, they don't want to express these emotions or they don't know how to do that. And this is why the voice feels sometimes kind of like stuck and stifled and limited and too low or too high. And so the question is, how do you get a second language into your body? Well, first of all, you have to understand that whenever you speak a second language, you might feel nervous and tense. Like if you feel different energy and even sometimes anxiety when speaking English, in our case, or a second language. So that the idea about being connected to your body is, first of all, to understand and to recognize your body and to understand that every part of your body is your own and you're not just like this talking head when your body is stiff and you're always like, you don't even know what your shoulders do or you know how to move certain areas in your body because you haven't moved them in so long, like your neck, for example. So first of all is to acknowledge your body. And what I'm telling you here has nothing to do just with English. It has everything to do with speaking in your native language as well and being connected to your voice and to your breath. So first of all, to make sure that you don't hold any tension when speaking. Intention, as I said, is a result of this anxiety or fear that we sometimes feel when speaking. So I want you to all kind of like, loosen up a little bit. I want you to kind of like, move around, see how you feel and see what happens if you speak. If you're alone and you can speak to yourself, see what happens to your voice when you move around and kind of like maybe roll your shoulders back. And, like, you want your voice to have this elasticity. You want your body to have this elasticity, right? So you don't hold any kind of tension. And if you do, you just want to acknowledge it. Let's say you hold a lot of tension in your shoulders. And, like, think of your shoulders right now and just relax them, okay? So you want to drop your Shoulders. Whenever there is tension, I always feel like the voice and the emotions are stuck there. Okay. Are you. Everything's getting stuck. And as I said, the voice resonates mostly in the chest. That's like your biggest resonance box in the body. And you can start by doing this and kind of like go on a lower note and see how you bring your voice to your chest and start kind of like vibrating your voice all around your body. And every place you feel a little bit of pressure and a little bit of tension. Try to. Try to kind of like hum into it or make a sound into it or. Or just tap on it. So you release that tension and you release the voice lock there. So this is one of the things that I want you to think about. So total freedom, relaxation, but also being able to understand where to resonate your voice inside your body so it's not stuck all the way up here in your voice. Okay. And especially not in your head voice. Sometimes that is the case and you want to use your entire body, and this is one aspect of it. So making sure there is no tension and making sure you're using your full body for your voice. But another thing about being in your body, that's like another way to say be present in what you're saying. And it's so incredibly important because it has everything to do with that judgment that we feel. Because when we feel judgment, it's when we are speaking to someone and we zoom out and we look at the conversation from outside and we start judging ourselves or we start, you know, admiring the other person so much that it makes us feel. Feel so afraid of speaking. So instead of being in that situation where you constantly zoom out and observe yourself, be present. That is also the sense of be in your body. Be in your body. That means be right now, right here, speaking to whoever you need to speak to, thinking about the other person and thinking about you taking up space here, right here, right now, in front of the other person, whether it's on a zoom call or whether it's face to face. And what it is that you have to give to the other person, what it is that you have to. That you need from the other person. That's also what it means to be in your body, because it means that you are not in your head thinking about all of these things that could go wrong or, you know, what they are thinking about you or what you need to do later on, because that's also something that happens. We are thinking about all the errands that we need to run or an argument that we had earlier on, instead of just like being present with a person in front of us, we're thinking about the post that we posted on Instagram and how many likes did we get? So that is also another reason or another explanation of what it is to be in your body. Okay, I hope it helps. And mainly, I think, Maki, what you want to do is also remember that your body is an instrument. Because when it comes to speaking a language, you need your body. You need your vocal cords and your voice and your mouth and your tongue and your lips. You need all of that. And you need your chest. And, well, you don't have to have your legs for speaking, but you do need your entire body and your nasal cavities and all of that. So you want to treat it with respect. You want to hydrate yourself. You want to make sure that you are doing pronunciation exercises to set you up for success. And I'm releasing the ideal morning routine for practicing pronunciation. So I'm going to share with you a practice exercise so you can do daily, which is really cool. So if you do that every day, this is something that is definitely going to help you and get you in your body and train you. Just like a dancer, you know, like she or he need to go to the bar and do a lot of plie releve and all of that. I've never danced ballet or an athlete that needs to go and work out. We need to train ourselves, we need to train our bodies so when time comes, we are at our best. We can't just like think English and expect to perform perfectly. Okay. So it's, it's important to train yourself. And that also has to do with your body. You have to train yourself to be at your best when time comes. Now, more questions. Lou is here. I have your question here, Lou. I'm gonna probably play it. As far as I know, when the voice is placed in the body instead of the head, or to be more accurate, balance between both of them shows a natural way of speaking and sounding good. So, yes, of course, every language has its own natural sounding voice. But ultimately, if you find for every human voice there is this something that is called the optimum pitch level, which is where your voice is most comfortable at. And within that optimum pitch level, you can range, you can go a little higher, you can go a little lower, but ultimately, like, you want your starting point to be from there. And this is the most comfortable place for your voice. What happens is, is that we tend to manipulate our voice and push it high or push it low or being a little, you know, speaking strongly or having a lot of strain. That's what I wanted to say. And there is no good or bad voice. Let's, let's agree on that. There is nothing wrong with your voice, but if you feel that you are working too hard, then it probably has to do with putting too much strain when speaking. Okay, I'm looking for some more questions. Martinez is asking. Hi, Hadar. I understand slow spoken English 70, 80%. But when I want to talk, I get frustrated because I forget the words. Please give me your advice. Okay, I have a lot of videos on this topic, so I'm going to be brief and probably direct you to some of them. But as I said at the beginning, one of the reasons why we understand English well but we can't communicate is because we have been consuming English passively. And as a result, we are, we've become really good at understanding English. And you want to treat the English that you hear and the English that you speak like two different languages that need to be addressed different, differently. Now here's the tricky part. When you improve your passive English, the English consumption, it only improves that. It doesn't improve your speaking, but when you improve your speaking, it helps you both with speaking and understanding English. Which means you don't have to be a genius to understand that. The best practice is, first of all, speaking practice, active practice, speaking out loud. And Martinez, to me, it feels you just haven't been speaking enough, whether it's with yourself or with people. Because if you forget words, it's because they're not available. And they're not available because you haven't had that moment or you haven't had that moment where you had to retrieve that word enough times. Because here's how it works. So think of a haystack and needles. You know that saying, right? A needle in a haystack. And it's hard to find those needles. But if you know where they are, or let's say if you have a magnet and you start using that magnet, it's easier to collect those needles. But getting that magnet is something that you need to acquire. You need to work for it. So right now, without the speaking practice, the magnets is your speaking practice. Right now, without the speaking practice, you have these needles and you need to collect them. And it's really hard because they are, they're there, you know the words. If you were to hear them, you would understand them. They're just hidden by a bunch of, you know, junk, which is all your other thoughts, and now that your thoughts are junk, you see what I'm saying? All the information that you consume, right? And you learn other things and you hear other people speak and you read and you write, and there is social media, so there is a lot going on in your head. So of course that word is not going to be available. It's going to be stuck all the way back here. However, if you learn the skill of retrieving that word, and the only way to do that is through speech, speaking practice. You guys, there are no magic solutions. But if you practice your speaking and you encourage yourself to get stuck, that's the magic solution. Because when you get stuck, that is a golden moment for you to recognize an opportunity to pull out that needle and to say, oh, I know where it is. Wait, I just need to find it. I just need to find that magnet. Or to push away all that hay, right? And then you find it. But you gotta allow yourself some time. And the next time, you need to look for the. For the word, because luckily, the needle is going to be in the same place next time. It won't take you that long. It's not going to be immediate, but maybe you have a small magnet the second time because you've gained some practice and you'll know where it is. So it's going to take you a little faster to get to that needle, that word. If you lost my metaphor here, then that's where I'm going for, right? And then the third and fourth time, you already have a powerful magnet right there in your hand that your needle is just like, jumping right at it before you even pull it out. That's the beauty of speaking practice. That's the beauty of allowing yourself to get stuck without judging yourself. That's the beauty of silence and search. Okay, Searching for the words. Because it doesn't mean that you're failing. It means that you're learning and progressing. It doesn't mean that you are inadequate or incompetent in English because you got stuck. It means that you are trying to make the process of retrieving that specific word a little faster. And everyone else, you can wait for me to retrieve that word. And when I retrieve it, I will continue speaking. But until then, you wait for me, okay? Because if you want me not to get stuck next time, you have to wait for me. Now, here's the thing. No one will say anything. It's you that. Well, maybe not you, particularly, Martinez, but for those who are afraid to get stuck in front of people thinking that it's unprofessional or thinking that that's not good English. But this is your learning process and the more you do it and the more you get excited about getting stuck. And hey, I'm not saying that you're going to find that needle slash word. I'm not saying that you're going to find it. Sometimes you'll have to Google the needle. And after the conversation, let's say you got stuck and you thought about it and geez, like you can't come up with it. Then you have to do the work and then you have to go and search for it on Google or your local dictionary and then you'll come up with a word, okay? And then you'll know what it is and then you'll be able to use it next time. Doesn't mean it's going to be available next time, but it's going to be there at least. And if you want to improve your speaking vocabulary, I have two great videos about that. One is about how to stop learning new words and my entire theory about the words that you should really focus on when learning new words. And the other one is a drill where I use five words. I show you how my system to drill new words and to practice new words. And I do it with five different words. So you can just go to my playlists and you'll find it there. It's on my channel, you'll see it. Okay. And if you do that and it's like slowly and gradually and it's repetition and building pronunciation confidence, okay? That is the secret to build pronunciation confidence. And also always use it in context, always give yourself examples and everything, everything, everything out loud. And if you haven't joined the influency community where we get to practice, everything's for free, it's on Facebook. Then you can go to my website and you'll see there join the influency community and click there and it'll take you there and tell you everything that you need to know. Because I got a question from isoo. She was asking me about how to join the speaking club. And I'm going to tell you. Isoo, I'm going to answer now because I'm talking about speaking practice. You're lacking the speaking practice in the influency community. We have weekly video discussions where we post a topic and we encourage you to upload videos. Super supportive community. And also there are like about five or six different zoom meetings within the community that the community members moderate and we do it with breakout rooms and there is always a fascinating topic and people meet up again. It's completely free. You can sign up and if you join the group, make sure you answer all of the questions. Because if you don't answer the questions and accept the rules, then we simply decline the requests. Because we're all about quality and not quantity. We want to make sure that you will be engaged and participate in the group. And this is very telling. Yeah, go to my website and you will see there join our community, the influencey community and then it'll take you there. Question what would your piece of advice to people who want to get an American or any other accent but they frustrated because they never lose their original accent? I mean you have to ask yourself why are you frustrated with having an accent to begin with? I know it's a little unfair of me to ask that. Who cares? You have an accent, right? And to say all of that because I don't have an all American standard accent. But I'm very close and I have worked hard for it to get it and I've, you know, I've been teaching it for 10 years. So obviously it has helped. I keep saying 10 years for like three years now. It's been more than 10 years. So of course it helped my command of English and accent. But the real question is like, why does it bother you so much that you have an accent? Because sometimes just like that obsession or that frustration, not obsession, but frustration. Because obsession can be something good. But frustration is exactly what holds us back. Because we try so hard, we try so hard to get that accent. We try so hard to sound right and to have that nice voice quality and those Rs and thoseths. And when we try so hard, it's exactly what is going against, you know, the flow and the effortlessness of our speech. Sometimes if we let go of the expectations and the need to reach some sort of perfection, sometimes that's when it comes to you. Because if you have put in the work, if you have put in the work and the right work, so I'm going to address that as well. But if you have and you still don't see results sometimes, my best advice, and I have said that to paying students as well, right. I used to have one on one students and when they've hit a plateau or when they work too hard, I was like, buddy, you need a break, Call me in two months. Because sometimes that is exactly the thing that is preventing them from progressing. And just taking a step back, breathing in, allowing things to sink in is exactly what you need to get it into your system. So instead of, like, pushing, you have to let go. It's like giving birth, but not exactly. Now, I have given birth. I'm sure that not a lot of people have here, so I don't want to assume anything. But, like, for those of you who know what giving birth is like, it's like when you try to resist it, this is where it becomes really, really impossible to do it effortlessly. Well, there is no effortlessly in giving birth. But, like, when you resist it or you resist the pain or you resist the contractions, that's when everything locks down. Okay? And when you let go, that's how everything moves forward. And I really do think that this is the same case with English fluency, but definitely, definitely. Also with pronunciation. The second reason why you still may feel stuck is maybe you've been practicing wrong. I have a podcast episode about how to practice pronunciation, and I talk about it there because it's really important to make sure that when you practice, you're not repeating the same mistakes, that you know how to give yourself feedback, that you are only focusing on the things that will get your results and not on mindless, unnecessary, unimportant things that take up most of your time but don't get you to see results and progress. So understanding your 20%, the things that would really, really help you break through and reach a breakthrough, and at the same time, making sure that when you're practicing them, you're not repeating the same patterns and the same mistakes. I think that's the secret, and that's when you start seeing and feeling the change. Okay, so it's one of those two things, probably both of them together. Like, if you apply a little bit of this and a little bit of that, I think you will be on the right path to success. And at the same time, remember, remember, like, the mindset is really important here. It's important that you understand that there is nothing wrong about who you are and how you sound. Okay, you guys, this has been such an incredible place, pleasure, and let's do this.