349. A story of resilience and persistence #immigrant_experience

Welcome to the Influency Podcast. I'm Hadar and today we are speaking to my student, Zoraida. Today we have an interview in our.

Interview series called the Immigrant Experience. So if you're a student of mine, you might already know my guest today, Zoraida. Zoraida is a student in my program New Sound and Beyond. And Zoraida has been through a significant shift in her English and mindset in the past few years, and it has been incredible to watch. Today I get a chance to talk to Zoraida, who shares her story as an immigrant from immigrating from Nicaragua to the US when she was just 15 and didn't speak a word of English to now speaking confidently to strangers as.

Part of her job.

She, she's going to share her story of overcoming challenges and learning to love her accent and embracing who she is in English. I cannot wait for you to get to know Zoraida in this beautiful and even emotional interview I had with her. Let's listen.

Hi, Zoraida.

How are you doing? It's so good to have you here.

Oh, my God, Hadar, I cannot believe I'm here talking to you. I feel like I want to pinch myself just to make sure that I'm talking to you, because actually I manifested this day last year. Yes, I did. Tell me more. And it's. It's beautiful how the universe, you know, work. But last year, you know, when, when I did the first round in New Sound and you had the reunion with the members, remember, I was watching them and I was like, oh, my God, I have to be there one day. I don't know if I was going to be alone or in a group, but look at me. Look where I am right now. I'm talking to you. Yeah. So it's amazing how, how the uniform, the universe has everything in place and it's the perfect timing for me.

Amazing. And the reason why I wanted to get you on this podcast and video is because I feel you have gone through a really interesting transformation, both in terms of your English, but also your mindset and in general, your story is so inspiring. And I feel like people are going to first get inspired, but also learn a lot from your experience and your story. So I wanted to see, to use this platform for you to share it and also to get to know you more.

Yes, sure. Yes. So I was born and raised in Nicaragua, and I lived there until the age of 16. Fifteen, actually. I was almost 16. I was 15 when I moved to the US and my family and I, we All immigrated to the U.S. you know, they wanted to have a better future for us. And that's how I came here. That's how my journey began here in America.

Was it something that was planned or all of a sudden you realized that you're moving to a different country?

It wasn't planned, but because my country at that time was going through a lot of political problems, tensions. So my brother at that time was 15 years old, so he was the first one who moved here. Actually, he came here first alone. So alone. My parents, they sent him here because he was the main target. Boys were the main target for the government. So my parents made the decision to send him to us. So he was living here with my uncles. And then like eight months later, my father decided to also come here. So, you know, to be with him. And that's how everything started. You know, they were working really hard so to save money because life is very hard here in America. Very hard. So they were both. My brother was going to school, but he was also working a part time to help my father, and they were both saving money to bring my mother and my siblings here with. With them.

Yeah.

Yeah.

What was it like for a 15 year old? That's how old you were when you moved?

I was 15.

Yeah.

Yeah.

What was it like for a 15 year old? Did you speak any English? Like, what was it like to move? To leave everything behind and move to a completely new country, culture, language?

Oh, my God. So my story hadar, it's even more different because we came here illegally, so we had to cross the Mexican border. So we made that dangerous journey through Mexico. And I didn't know, you know, at the moment I was 15 years old, so I didn't know about the decision my parents made, but I had to listen to them. I was only 15 at that time, so I, you know, they made the decision that we should come here. My mom had a visa, the American visa, but I don't know why she assumed that we were not gonna get the visa because we were three sisters. So they thought that maybe, you know, our visa was gonna be denied for some reasons. I don't know why she didn't want to take that chance. So they decided to, you know, take that risk because that is like a very dangerous risk, you know, to go through Mexico, cross the river and Tell.

Me about that journey.

Oh, my God. So thank God we didn't have any problems. It was like back in 1988, 1989. So it was. It's been a long time, but things were different now. It's a little more dangerous. But I know that we were scared. I mean, I was scared, but I never told my mom. I was scared, but I was scared. But thank God, nothing happened. We were safe, and we made it to the border, and we crossed the river. The river was dry, was empty, no water.

Wow.

And, yeah, so we crossed the river to Texas. Brownsville, Texas. And that's how we. We came to us. You know, they help us. They were helping Nicaraguan citizens because of what was going on in my country. So they gave us shelter, like a hotel, and food and medicine, and we were, like, fine, at peace. At least that we made it to the other side.

Wow. Crazy.

Yeah. Yeah, I know.

Your journey started, like, in a completely new place.

It was. It was a new place to me. You know, I. We probably waited at the hotel for one week because I thought that my parents was gonna buy, like, a plane ticket. But he didn't. He bought the Greyhound tickets, you know, the bus tickets. Yeah. So we had to take that journey of 24 hours, I think it was, or 48, I don't remember. But it was a long, long trip.

Drive from Texas to Florida, from Texas.

To Miami, to Miami. So to Miami. And then we got to Miami. We reunited with my brother, my father. We were happy and excited because, you know, the whole family together. And Miami was good to me because Spanish was spoken, so we didn't have any problem living in Miami. I mean, I was, like, feeling like I was in my own country. Actually, my problem was in school, when they put me in school. And that's when everything changed.

Tell me about that.

So I went to high school. You know, my mother, they. She enrolled me and my sister in. My sister was 8 years old, so she was in first grade, I think second grade. And I went to high school. And my experience was not something that I was expecting. You know, I didn't know any word in English only. Maybe the basic. Not even broken English only. Thank you. You know, the basic. And that's when I experienced bullying and everything that you can imagine.

So people were making fun of you and.

Yeah.

What feelings come up right now for you?

Oh, my God. The feeling of being rejected, feeling of not fitting in school. I didn't have the power of my language anymore, so I felt like an outcast. And I have never experienced hate in my life. So that was something new to me because I was new in this country. I was a teenager, you know, So I was going through all these physical changes and, you know, having that accepted as a Team. Exactly.

You know, anyway, regardless of. Of the language or.

Yeah.

And it's so hard.

So it was hard because, you know, and. And it didn't happen only to me, but it happens to a lot of my friends. We were all immigrants and we were experiencing the same thing. So, you know, I started to hate school. Wow. You know, I was skipping school. I was skipping classes because.

Just to avoid social interaction.

Just to. Exactly. So it was. School was like hell for me, and I was skipping school, and my grades were not the best, you know, and I was a good student in my country, I was in a private school. I was a good student. So being here, being in high school, I think that changed me and into, like, a different person, you know, I became more insecure, more shy. My fear was, like, growing and growing. You know, I didn't believe in myself anymore. And that's when everything changed. And I didn't want to go back to school, but thank God I finished high school. You know, I graduated high school. But I never felt like I learned English in high school. You know, I never. It was like a different times back then. You know, the teaching, the. The way they. They were teaching English was different. So even my. My English teacher was from my home country, so. And he will always be speaking Spanish all the time. So instead of English. Yeah. I didn't feel like I learned any English in high school, but I graduated. You know, I had to pass my exam, my English and my math. I studied really hard, and I still don't know how I did it, how I passed it, but actually I had a higher score in math, but I did it. I graduated. And I. Yeah, it's. But it was. It was an experience that every time I think about it brings me back those memories that I don't want to. You know, I want. I don't want to remember anymore, but I can't, so.

And you know, it is a part of your story, and it has turned you into who you are. So ultimately, you know, it's hard to avoid those memories because they're a part of us. I have a question because, you know, you are my student inside New Sound. And we talk a lot about mindset and limiting beliefs, right? Like beliefs that limit your full potential. What kind of beliefs does a teenaged girl develops based on these experiences? Being bullied and ridiculed and shamed or her English and not being like others.

Oh, my God. My belief were like, that I was not enough, that I was not capable, that I was not a native speaker, that my English sucks. That, you know, everything bad was in my mind, only negativity was in my mind. And that created a negative person in me because I didn't believe in myself. And I was always listening to this inner voices in my head telling me, you're not enough. You're not gonna do it. You're not a native. So even if I was trying and trying, you know, I was, for me, I felt like it wasn't enough. Never was enough. Yeah, it was never enough. And that was like a belief that I have.

And when you have an experience, when you try to speak a language and that experience is traumatic, then this is associated with. With speaking or putting yourself out there. And I can imagine that, you know, there is like, this fear of being or feeling the same traumatic experience when communicating in English. Did you avoid speaking English after high school?

And I, you know, I didn't avoid, but it was difficult. It was very hard in Miami to actually, you know, speaking English because Spanish was spoken 24 7, even at work. So I was working at the Home Depot in customer service, and most of my customers were Latino. So, you know, every day I. I was speaking in Spanish all the time.

Yeah.

And I wanted. I wanted to practice because deep inside, this is what I wanted. You know, I wanted to become fluent. I wanted to have a better accent. I wanted to speak like a native speaker. But that's when I was younger. Now I think I'm not. I don't care about that anymore. You know, I feel happy to who I am right now that, you know, having an accent is not going to stop me because I have my own voice and I have to love myself. This is who I am. I am an immigrant, and I have to love myself first. I don't care about having the best accent or anything like that.

And this is something that was. Is it rather new? Is it rather new?

It's new. And I think that everything changed since after I joined New Sound for sure. As you know, last year when I joined New Sound, I think that I was a different person. You know, I was speaking in English, but I didn't have the confidence that I have now. You know, I practice, of course, my English here with my sons and. But it's not the same because sometimes. Sometimes they. It's not the same because having a community like beyond or New Sound is different. I want to.

I want to talk about you just, like, mentioned a little bit. So you have three sons, and they're, you know, they speak English since, you know, that's their first language. Do you feel Sometimes that they tease you or they comment on your English.

Oh, my God, all the time.

All my students who have children all.

The time, I mean, so my first two sons, they were born in Miami and actually their first language was Spanish because they grew up with my mom and my dad. You know, we were living together. I was a single mom and Spanish was spoken in the house 24 7. So that was, you know, their native language, actually. So, yeah, when they started school and they were learning English now, everything changed. So I think that I was also learning English when they were going to school because, you know, everything that they were learning, I was also learning. But I was not speaking, I was not practicing my English. So I was just helping them with homework and school. But they were always, like making fun of me. Like if I say something wrong, they will, and I will take it very personal. And, you know, I never say anything to them. But I didn't like it. You know, I didn't like it, but that's how it was. But now they can tease me, they can say whatever. I don't care anymore.

Okay, so this has to do also with the mindset shifts, because you don't associate any comments about your English with your self worth.

No, not anymore. Yeah, not anymore. Yeah. I think that after, you know, finishing New Sound, my first round, and going through this experience in New Sound, and now in beyond, and also your English, my English mindset, you know, so it has helped me a lot. And I think I'm. Yeah, I'm different. I'm a different person. I'm not the same person I was before. Yeah.

So from. From that experience in transformation, what can you say to people who are where you were, say, five years ago, 10 years ago?

This is a hard question because everyone is different and everyone has their own struggles, you know, what would you say.

To Zoraida, oh, my God, that just graduated high school?

Yeah. I will tell her to believe more in herself. Believe because you're smart, you can do it and it's possible. And at that moment in high school, I didn't have the support that I needed. You know, even my parents, you know, they were always busy working. So I never felt that support that I wish I had. But, you know, if I, you know, if I had the opportunity to go back to my younger years, probably I will maybe do things differently, but I can't anymore. You know, it's my past and now I have to move on and leave my life and leave the present, my present.

Yeah. What was it like for your parents, Immigrating? To new country in English.

So my parents, they never actually had a problem hadar because they were. We were living in Miami. Spanish, Spanish. So at work, so they didn't have any problem. You know, we have everything we wanted in Miami. We can find anything, you know, even in the supermarket in the 90s, you can find. So we didn't miss home. You know, we were like living in our own country. And it was easy for them and for me, but my only struggles was English because that's what I wanted. You know, maybe some people, they don't care, they don't want, you know, but that's what I wanted. You know, I wanted to become fluent one day. And the meaning. And the meaning of fluency for me was different back then. I felt that it was being fluent meant to be. I mean, being fluent to me was not making mistakes or speak like a native speakers or something like that. You know, that was my idea of fluency. And it took me more than 20 years to finally realize that, you know, that's not what fluency is, but what is fluency for me. Fluency is to be able to convey my speech and to feel understood and to feel natural, to feel that this is who I am, this is my voice. So accept me for my voice, because this is who I am. I mean, I'm not gonna be pleasing people, you know, because some people, they, yeah, they make fun of you or your English or your accent. Because I still have a lot of people telling me, oh, but you've been living here in the States for many years and you still have an accent. You know, any. It. It's hard. And I felt ashamed before of that before, but now I feel like I have overcome that. That belief that I had. Yeah, I don't believe.

I bet that anyone who says that have never experienced. Anyone who says that has never experienced speaking a second language because they don't know what it's like to exactly language and to own or acquire a new accent. Because it's not just, oh, it's really hard.

Yeah, yeah. And it's really hard because people assume that just because you live in here. And that was also my assumption. You know, I thought that I was going to be fluent and speak like a native speaker in. In one month and that everything was going to be like a piece of cake for me. But that was. That was not reality. You know, reality is different. And sometimes, maybe for some people, maybe it's easier, but we are all different and everyone has their struggles.

Yeah, absolutely. So one of the things that I noticed about you is that you're, like, a very diligent student and you're a really hard worker, both inside the program and very committed and passionate about the work. But it also seems that this is how you are in your real life. Like, I think when you started New Sound, you had three jobs. Now you have two jobs, you have three sons, right?

Yes.

And, like, what I remember most is that we had a meetup in New York, and you can. In a car just to meet us in between shifts, you know, and. And you gave me this beautiful gift that I wanted to wear that I left it at home, and I was like, oh, shoot. I wanted to put it on. And that really touched me, like, the effort. Everyone made a huge effort to come in, but I remember you driving there, which is really moving.

I know. Yeah, it was a great experience because it was in. I think it was the first month of New Sound. I think it was last year. October. Is that. Yeah. So I wasn't sure, you know, if. If I should come or not, but I wanted to go. You know, I. You know, I was eager to go and meet you because that. That was my dream to meet you in person. So I. You know, I didn't want to go alone, and I. I asked my friend to come with me, so she came with me to New York. And I remember, like, driving and thinking about how everything is going to be. You know, I was thinking about meeting members in New Sound, and I remember that going through that tunnel when I was in the Uber, driving to Manhattan, I remember I was shaking. I was nervous because, you know, I was very shy, very insecure, but still I wanted. I wanted to do it, you know, So I. I got to New York, and then going through the elevator, you know, and then when the door opened and I saw you and you gave me a big hug. So that was everything for me. That was one of the best days of my life.

Mine, too. It was amazing.

Yeah.

And thank you for coming.

Thank you. Thank you. The food was. The food was delicious. I think I ate, like, three times the bagels and salads. Everything was good. Yeah.

So what do you. How do you use English today? And what do you do if you want to share with us a little bit about how your life looks like now?

Oh, my God. So I have, like, a crazy life because I have two jobs now. I. I am a cna, like a nurse assistant. So I work at night. I have the night shift, and sometimes I work three times. Three days. I'm sorry. Or two nights or three Nights, depending. And then during the day and during the week I drive for Uber, Uber Connect, like Amazon. And that's what I do on my daily basis. I love driving and sometimes I have reservation so I pick up people and I now I'm talking to them non stop, you know, I am not ashamed, you know, to start the conversation anymore. You know, I am. Yeah, I feel more confident and it's incredible to see how I'm changing and how my English is also changing because I think that my English sounds different, you know, my voice is different and I'm not here to change my accent. I'm not too worried about that anymore. But I'm here to have fun and to love myself, to enjoy my process. Yeah, that's what I'm here.

And I think, like, you know, even opportunities like speaking to strangers in an Uber, right? Like you discover a human being in a 10 minute, 20 minute, 30 minute ride. And that is only possible because of the language.

It is, yeah. And sometimes they, we have like long conversations. You know, sometimes I take riders to the airport, so we, it's like a 45 minutes drive and we talk non stop. And you know, they always give me like a big good compliment and they tell me, oh, you're good, you're so cool. You're so nice, you know? You know, it's good. I feel very happy that now I feel more confident, you know, to open my mouth and finally, you know, start a conversation. You know, I was not able to do that before. New sound, definitely. I'm different.

It's such a privilege to be a part of your journey.

Oh my God. Yeah.

To just hear it now, like the, not the full story, but yeah, I.

Have, I have a lot of stories with Uber, you know, but yeah, but I can imagine.

Maybe you should write a book or start a tick tock telling stories.

Yeah, it's good. Stories. Halloween stories. Halloween story. Yeah. Yeah.

Do you come across a lot of drunk people at the end of the night or no? Because you work during the day.

I don't drive during the night and if I do, I only try to pick up females. So I was driving for the last Halloween and I did it because I had a few reservations and I picked up, I picked up this girl, she was drunk and she threw up in my car.

Yes. It happened once.

Oh my God. I mean, thank God that it wasn't a lot, but you know, the smell of these. Oh God, this is horrible. And, but she was, she was apologizing, telling me, I'm so sorry, I'm Gonna give you a good tip so you can clean your car. Don't worry. Please don't send an email to Uber because if I send, like, a report, probably she's gonna be charged, like, for $400.

Oh, wow.

Okay. Yeah, so she was just, you know, asking me not to do it, so I didn't do it. And she gave me a tip, so. And she was nice and cool, so, you know, I. I didn't have the heart to do that, you know.

Yeah. What other memorable story do you have from an Uber drive?

Oh, man, I'm. Oh, my God. I'm trying to remember, like, girls are more crazy than boys, actually. You know, young girls are crazy. So I also pick up, like, college students, and sometimes they are kind of drunk and. Yeah. They can say things inside, you know, in the car and. And things that are not appropriate. But, I mean, I have a few stories.

Okay, got it.

Yeah.

Imagination.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it. It's cool. It's cool because I love driving, so I enjoy every ride. Right. That I make every day.

Wow. It's so. It's so wonderful to love what you do.

Yeah.

The driving and then also speaking to other people.

Yeah, I'm speaking. I come home, I stop, I. I come, I clean, I do my laundry, I go back, and that's. That's my crazy life every day. And I'm in beyond. I'm in New Sound, so I'm, you know, it's a lot, but I love what I'm doing. I think that I'm enjoying what I'm doing right now. So I feel that I'm at the place that I have to be right now. And Beyond A New Sound is the best place for me.

Well, it's amazing to have you, and I'm so happy that.

Thank you.

Where you're at. And Zoraida, thank you so much for sharing your story and opening up and, you know, allowing yourself to be vulnerable. I appreciate it and thank you.

Thank you, Hadar. Thank you for showing interest in my story.

What are your plans for the upcoming years?

My plans are, you know, I always wanted to go back to school. That was my dream. That was my goal. And I never completed my university studies, so that was one of my dream. So I'm planning on going back. I'm not young anymore, but that's not gonna stop me, you know, so I'm just getting prepared and preparing myself. Yeah.

But I think once you do, you know, get you back here so you can share that.

Sure, of course. Thank you, Hadar. Good.

All right, Zoraida, thank you so much.

Thank you for having me. Hadar. It's my pleasure.

Okay, bye.

All right, Zoraida, thank you so much for this beautiful conversation. And everyone, thank you so much for watching this today. Have a beautiful, beautiful rest of the day and I will see you next week in the next video. Bye.