352. Advantages vs. Disadvantages of learning on your own

Welcome to the Influency Podcast. I'm Hadar and this is episode number 352. And today we're going to talk about the advantages and disadvantages of learning English on your own. Hey. Hey everyone. How are you? I hope you're okay. You are happy, you are healthy, you are content, and if you're not, then you are on the fast track to becoming content and healthy and happy. Because sometimes things are not always ideal. But as long as we know where we're going, I guess it's important. I guess it's good. Okay, today I want to talk about the advantages and disadvantages of learning English on your own. Pretty much learning anything. But today we're going to focus on learning English. But before we get started, I wanted to tell you that I'm going to be hosting a free masterclass on September 12 and September 13 called from avoiding English to Speaking With Impact. I'm going to talk about how to stop wasting your time on bad advice and focus on the three powerful strategies that will get you fast results. It's going to be a lot of fun, packed with value, and we'll offer you a plan to transform your English and get excited about the work to get there. It's absolutely free. I'm going to host three masterclasses. Two on the 12th and one on the 13th. If you're listening to this, after the 13th, you can actually still click the link below that I'm going to share to register for the free masterclass and watch the replay. So there will be a replay for a limited time. So if you're listening to this, make sure you click on that link below and sign up to join the free masterclass. It's going to be awesome. All right, let's dive into today's topic. Now, as someone who's been a self learner for many, many years, I love doing things on my own. I love not being a part of a group. I love not showing up somewhere at a specific time. I love the flexibility and I used to do that for many, many years until I figured out that it wasn't always serving me. Because while there are advantages that we're going to talk about today, there are also a lot of disadvantages. And there are seasons in life where the disadvantages overpower the advantages and vice versa. Now, if you're listening to this, you are probably someone who is learning English on their own. And by on your own, I mean you don't take any classes, you don't take any courses, you don't study One on one with a teacher. And if you do, it's kind of random here and there. And it's not like a journey that you both go through together. You're not in any program, any course. You are just collecting resources, online resources, paid or free. But there isn't any guidance. No one is curating a program for you. No one's giving you feedback, no one's talking to you when you feel discouraged. No one is creating a curriculum for you that by my definition is to learn English on your own. Right. So you could be paying for a course that offers you resources, but it's online and it's not a part of a community. Or you don't have opportunities to speak to anyone. You don't have opportunities to practice. So that's what I mean. Let's start with the advantages. So like I said, I used to love learning only on my own, because the first thing it offers you is flexibility. You don't owe anything to anyone except for yourself. You don't have to commit to a specific schedule. You don't have to respond to anyone. No one's going to ask you why you haven't submitted the quiz, why you didn't show up for a conversation group. It's just you. And for people who are very busy or who are not interested in a community, that could be freeing. That could offer a lot more flexibility. Another advantage is that you create your own journey. You decide what you want to learn, you decide what you want to focus on. You decide how much time you want to spend on something. You decide if something is important for you or not. You don't have to learn all the things that are included in a curriculum, so you have complete ownership and responsibility over your journey. Another advantage is that you usually don't feel fomo. FOMO is fear of missing out. When you take a course, it's easy to fall off track. And then you might feel, oh, you know, I'm not showing up on time, or I'm missing out. And that could create fomo. Now, FOMO is not necessarily bad because a lot of times it could be motivating. But some people really don't like to feel fomo. So if you are a self learner and you're a diy, do it yourself kind of person, then you probably enjoy the fact that you don't experience FOMO when you study on your own. Another advantage is that you get to pick and choose. You have so much content online and you get to choose only the things that you like doing or that you think are valuable. So there's a lot more creativity that could be involved. There is more variety of different types of content, different teachers, different creators. So like I said, it's very similar to creating your own experience, your own curriculum, but also you get access to different teachers and different types of content that offer a more versatile experience. Now let's talk about the disadvantages of being a self learner. But before that, I want to tell you a personal story about learning on my own. So I recently, not that recently. In May 2023, I registered for a certification program to become a life coach with a life coach school. I've been following their work, her work, for many years. And there was a point where I felt like I need more tools to help my students in the mindset coaching sessions, because I have been doing a lot of mindset coaching sessions, but I felt like I needed more substantial tools. And I figured that being certified as a coach with a school that I really admire is the right path for me. And I registered. I was really, really excited. I went through 8, 9, 10 different lessons, did the homework. I was motivated. And then there was one lesson that got me confused. I vividly remember it because I was analyzing my behavior. It was the first lesson where I watched it and I was not sure what I would do in the situations that were outlined. And up until that moment, I was very confident. I knew all the answers. I felt very much on top of things, and then I felt like I wasn't. And then I stopped watching the lessons. All of a sudden other things, more important things got in the way. All of a sudden I didn't have time, even though before that I was also busy. But now it took precedence all the other things. And I was asking myself, why is this happening to me? Why have I stopped doing something that I really want to complete, that I know is important for my personal and professional development and that I paid a lot of money for to get done? And I only have one year now. Luckily, this program offers a lot of support that I haven't used up until that point. So in that program, I could sign up for coaching calls with coaches. And I also have a success coach that helps me get to the finish line, right, to understand what I need to do and, you know, ask questions. And up until that moment, I wasn't using any of that. It was like, I got this, I'm a self learner, I can figure this out. But when I hit a plateau and when I felt stuck, I said to myself, okay, I have all these tools available. To me, I should use them. So I sent an email to my success coach, Ava, and I shared with her where I'm at. And she did exactly what I needed her to do. She gave me a plan, she gave me back my motivation, reminded me why I do what I do. And I felt like, okay, it's nice to have someone to push you when you fall off track. It's nice to have someone whom you can ask questions and get answers. It's nice to feel that when you hit a plateau or fall off track, which is something natural that happens in any learning journey, you have someone to catch you. And that's exactly what I felt. And I said to myself, you know, it could have been so easy for me to just end up focusing on other things and losing this opportunity of completing the certification program. That again, is super important for me personally and professionally. And I haven't learned something new that is not about running an online business, being a leader, or online marketing. Right. I haven't learned something different in years. And here was my opportunity. And thankfully, because I wasn't really on my own, even though I tried, I was able to get back on track. And I'm happy to tell you that I'm now back on track. All right, so now let's talk about the disadvantages of being a self learner. So the first disadvantage is that motivation only lasts for a limited time. And when you're not on your own, when you have a circle of support around you, it's easier to stay on track or to get back on track when you lose motivation or when you stop the process. And apart from the emotional support it gives you accountability. To be accountable means that you are expected to justify your actions or or decisions. So you're responsible for the things you say you're going to do. So if you say that you're going to do something, you're expected to do them. This is what it means to be accountable. And someone who holds you accountable means there is someone who is expecting you to do the things that you say you're going to do. So it's really great to have someone to go to when things don't go the way you expect them to go. Also, it's a behavioral thing. When you feel someone is expecting you to do something, you're more likely to do it. When you make a commitment to do something in front of others, you're more likely to do it. I remember reading in Atomic Habits, James Clear's great book about developing strong habits, that if you write down, simply write down for yourself, something that you're going to do, you are three times more likely to do it. And if you do it publicly, then the likelihood of you actually completing it is a lot bigger. And I see it in our programs, you know, we have our community. And when people say that they're going to do something in a conversation, group or to their coach, they end up doing it. When they make a commitment to me to do something, to submit something, to go live in the group, they do it because, in a way, they don't want to disappoint me, even though they're willing to disappoint themselves. And it's exactly like it was for me with my success coach. I was willing to disappoint myself. But when she came into the picture, I was like, okay, I'm committed to it, and I want to make her proud of me. I want to make sure that I follow through the plan that she has for me because she worked hard on creating that plan for me, and that was enough for me to actually take a different action. So being a part of a community or program or having someone to guide you is going to help you get to the finish line when your motivation drops or becomes weaker, because it's going to happen. And by the way, something else that James Clear talks about in his book Atomic Habits is the environment you surround yourself with. He says that if you want to succeed or if you want to develop a habit, you want to surround yourself with people who already do the things that you want to do. So, for example, if you want to become a person who speaks English confidently or who uploads videos in English without hesitation, then if you are part of a community of people who constantly do that, not only that, it inspires you and motivates you, and it also makes you see that it's possible. And being in such environment will allow you to thrive and succeed a lot more than if you were to be around people who constantly make fun of your English obsession, or who don't understand why you're spending so much time learning English or who don't get it, or who don't speak English so that you need to figure out who to speak to on your own. And a lot of times for people who study English on their own, that's their experience, because it's something that they do with their online buddies, but the people around them, they don't get it. So it could be really, really destructive to your motivation and your progress. If you don't have a community of people who already do the Things that you want to do, and people who inspire you to be a better person. The next disadvantage of learning on your own is figuring out what you need to focus on. So while for some people it could be an advantage, for others it could be a big disadvantage to decide on their own curriculum. They don't necessarily know what to focus on. They spend a lot of time looking for the right content or resources. So that spends a lot of time. It's hard for them to plan. They don't know how long everything is going to take them. So the work on the back end, planning, collecting content, takes a lot of time, a lot of focus, because you need to make a lot of decisions. Do I need to do this or that? Right? So it could create decision fatigue. And sometimes when we experience decision fatigue, we end up just not taking action. So some people love doing that. The planners, the organizers, people who have the time to research it well, to understand, to prioritize. But if you don't have that skill or if you don't have that time, if you're busy, if you have to take care of your family, if you have a job, if you have two jobs, if you're a student, then sometimes you don't have that time and you're just doing things on the go, whatever is available to you. And as a result, you don't have like a holistic, intensive, thorough process. It's just the things that come your way. You're winging it instead of planning it and following through properly. And then when that happens, sometimes what happens is that you just don't see progress, you don't feel the results. And then it makes you think things like, oh, this is not for me, it's too hard, it takes me forever. I'm not good in English, where in fact, it's just because you're not learning the things that would actually get you the results that you want. So that is a big disadvantage in my opinion, because you don't have a clear plan that is designed for you. The third disadvantage is not having any type of feedback, especially when it comes to English. So what could happen is that you would be practicing something or learning something, but you'd have no idea if you're doing it right. No source of information to tell you, hey, Hadar, you pronounced this correctly. This is great. And this still requires work. And you don't have any guidance on how to evaluate yourself. So you don't have feedback. You don't know if you're practicing something incorrectly. And if you're repeating the same mistake, you're likely to maintain it and not change it. Right? And when you don't know how to give yourself feedback, or if you don't get feedback from someone who is professional, it's also hard to measure your progress because you might feel stuck or you might feel like you're not developing. You don't know if you have improved. And again, if you feel like you're not making progress or you don't know if you're making progress, a lot of times students actually do make progress, but they just don't know because they can't hear it and they can't tell. So they don't feel like they're making progress. That decreases motivation and gets people to feel stuck or stop their learning because they didn't have that support. The next disadvantage, in my opinion, is the risk of getting into the illusion of learning. I often talk about this, but if you haven't heard me talk about it, I'll quickly explain to you what that is. The illusion of learning is like being stuck on a hamster wheel. You are moving, running, running, running, running, but you're not getting anywhere. The illusion of learning means that you are consuming content, you are learning, you are doing the work, you're practicing, but you're not feeling the progress. And usually that happens because of passive content consumption without putting it into practice, without language production. So passive, without the active. So what that looks like is that you're watching videos, you're watching lessons, you're listening to podcasts, you're reading books. You often do some exercises online, but you're not implementing it, and you're not using it right away in speaking. So you're expanding your passive knowledge and passive vocabulary. It makes you a better listener. It's easier for you to understand people, but you're still unable to use it spontaneously. Now, you will improve doing all of that. You will improve your fluency in your speaking, but you may still not feel fully fluent. You will often get stuck. The words won't be available to you because you're not using the language. When you learn something, you have to practice it immediately. You have to implement it. So that means learning less, but using the language more, especially the things that you learn. It's called intentional practice. This is something that is extremely important, and it is integrated into each and every one of my lessons instead of my programs, especially my signature program, New Sound, that focuses on pronunciation, intonation, rhythm, stress, and overall fluency. But while there's a lot of lessons where I teach things, the exercises require you to Put things into practice intentionally pretty quickly. And I've seen it. I used to not incorporate that, and the results were far worse. Now, the results of my students are amazing. They're able to use sounds. They're more aware of the sounds because of this practice and the way we integrate it into the program. So implementing what you learn is critical. And when you're learning on your own, you don't always know how to do that. Also, it's a lot easier to end up consuming content rather than putting it into practice, because sometimes you don't even have anyone to speak with. And finding someone or looking for the right person to practice with takes time, energy. You might have gotten disappointed by conversation partners in the past, and you're like, ah, you know, I'm just gonna speak to myself, which is fine. It just makes it a little harder. It's not a bad method, and I highly recommend to do it anyway. Speaking to yourself. But implementing what you learn in a conversation with someone else make it a lot more possible for you to use that thing that you learned in real life. When you speak spontaneously, it's kind of like you're bringing yourself closer and closer and closer to the ultimate test, which is how to use what you learn in free speech without planning whether it's sounds, grammar, vocabulary. And that can only happen when you implement what you learn right away with intentional practice. Now, it's definitely possible to do it on your own. I'm not saying that it's not possible. It's just harder and takes more time and focus and knowledge. And some people don't even know how to do that. So I think this is a disadvantage for sure. The final disadvantage of learning English on your own is that English is meant to be spoken with other people. So English is designed to connect you with other people. And if you don't include other people in your learning experience, you're actually not really fully utilizing what English is for. And it's kind of like you're practicing in your head or on your own, but not in real life. And when you are part of a community where you have easy access to people, people who are as interested in the language as you, there's a lot less friction in the process of speaking with others, practicing what you learn with others, it's easier for you to find partners. And as a result, it's easier for you to put what you learn into practice. Because when we speak, it's not just about how we sound, how we structure the sentence, if we think in English or not, and if we Use the right tense. It's also about being able to be vulnerable in front of other people. Something that doesn't happen when you speak to yourself in front of the mirror. You have to be vulnerable to making mistakes, to not being understood, to not understanding others. You have to develop the skill of dealing with situations when there's miscommunication, because it's a natural part of speaking in a second language, in any language actually. So the more practice you have speaking with other people, the more you're preparing yourself for the real world. And when you are on your own, when you don't have that circle of support and community and like minded people, then you don't have that essential practice of the language of speaking and showing up in front of people and dealing with your fears and with your tendency maybe to avoid conversations or your perfectionism or the fear of not understanding others. You are facing those fears and those fears don't exist when other people are not involved. And like I said, it's not like you can't find opportunities to speak when you learn English on your own. There are online groups and conversation groups, but it's not always as accessible. Sometimes you may not feel as safe. Sometimes you may not find partners that you are actually interested in speaking with. And I can tell you also from my experience being a course creator, you know, I've been running online courses since 2016. That's a lot of years. And at the beginning I wasn't including any community or any community practice. It would just be me teaching and they would be practicing. Sometimes they would send me their practice for feedback and I've done that for many years and people saw results and it was good. But it wasn't until I started incorporating community learning a few years ago that I started seeing the huge difference. I started with small groups and then connecting people one on one. And usually the people who sign up for my courses are very similar in terms of what they are interested in, their enthusiasm for the language. Usually people who are starting as self learners end up being very passionate about learning. They have self discipline and they're open minded. And usually these are the people who end up signing up for my courses. So the connections were seamless and we started curating one on one connections and then small groups and more conversation groups. And we realized that that has made a significant difference in the results of my students because they were learning the content, they were getting feedback from coaches and support. But then they would go and put it into practice with fellow students and also build their confidence by speaking and deal with their fears. And with mindset work, which we usually incorporate into our work, they were able to manage those fears, but they would do it immediately and not just, you know, do it on their own. Because then it's just theory, it's not practice. So we saw that people always talk about the experience of speaking with others, having that community accessible to them and being able to speak as part of their transformation. So specifically, when it comes to English, I think it's critical to have people around you. And I can tell you also from, you know, life coaching, my journey, the journey that I'm going through right now, life coaching certification, I am learning all the content, but without coaching real people, this will never work. So I started implementing some of my work with my students. But after talking to my success coach, we agreed that I should start coaching other coaches, life coaches, to be able to see progress. And this is the element that I was lacking, like having someone to actually practice with, someone whom I respect, whom I appreciate and who gets me. And I feel like it's so important for someone's progress and success. All right, so I think that's it. We talked about the advantages and disadvantages of being a self learner. Ultimately, I believe the hybrid format, a little bit of doing things on your own and also having access to a circle of support that will be there for you when you need it. And then you can move back and forth depending on what season you're in and what you are looking to achieve and how quickly you want to move forward. It's like with remote work, being only remote is not that fun. And always going to the office is also not that fun. And having the flexibility of going between the office and being online is ideal. So I think that would be my choice here as well. All right, so I'm curious to hear from you, what other advantages and disadvantages can you think about when it comes to learning on your own? Whether it's English or other things, you can share your thoughts over a DM direct message on Instagram Hadar Accentsway. Now, I talked about it at the beginning, but I'm going to remind you that I actually have a free online masterclass that is going to dive deeper into this topic and into the content. And I'm going to actually give you some more strategies on how to practice on your own and on how to succeed, creating the perfect learning path for yourself. So I'm going to link to the description below. And also I did mention New Sound, my program that is about to open in the middle of September. So if you're listening to this before September 2023, then you can also sign up to get on the wait list to hear when we open doors to New Sound. New Sound is my transformative English program that offers you that full circle of support. It offers you an incredible community, unparalleled coaching and support feedback, a plan that is designed just for you and so much more. So if you want to find out more about New Sound, if you are tired of learning on your own and being a self learner, maybe you want to create a hybrid model for your learning, then you should definitely get on the wait list for New Sound to learn more about it when we open doors. But in the meantime, make sure you get on that list to join the masterclass. All right. I hope you enjoyed it. Thank you so much for joining me today. Have a beautiful, beautiful rest of the day and I'll speak speak to you next time.