380. Relocation Diaries: So…I moved to Barcelona 🤯😍 [NEW SERIES]

So I moved to barcelona. And I wanted to start sharing here on the podcast, my experience. I'm gonna call this series my Relocation Diaries, where I'm going to share every single week, hopefully every Friday, a little bit about my life, my progress here in a new country, the struggles I go through, my language learning experience. And I just want to find another way to connect with you guys because I feel like I've been teaching a lot on my podcast. When I first started my podcast, I was sharing more personal things and if you watch the video, then I'm also recording this on video, then my cat is here with me. She's being all cute. I feel like over the past year or two years I've been only sharing educational content, which is great, I think you love it. But I wanted to add a purple personal touch to it because I've been getting a lot of messages from people listening to the podcast or following my content, and they really resonate with what I share in my experience. And I wanted to go a little deeper and share more about my personal life, the behind the scenes, especially since over the last two months, since we decided that we're going to move, I've learned so many lessons, so many lessons, and it's been so hard, honestly. And every time I learn a new lesson, I'm like, I gotta share it. There is so much that goes into this and I always talk about it when I talk about learning a new language. So this is perfect. And I decided to start this corner on the podcast to share all of that. So it's not just pronunciation and fluency, but also just a bit more about me. And I hope you enjoy it. I think that I hesitated before to do something like that because, you know, there's always this limiting belief that says they're not interested in your personal life, they're not interested in self indulgent stories about what you're going through. But then I realized that I love listening to these kinds of stories and I find so much inspiration in it. And I realize a lot of things about my life when I listen to other people's stories who have done the things that I want to do and who have been there before me. And I want to do that because I know that there are a lot of people who are thinking about immigrating or relocating, traveling somewhere. And I'm sure that a lot of the things that I have been through, you are going to go through as well. And you might find it useful. But just like with everything, whenever we get past the challenge, I think we learn something about ourselves and about other areas where we still struggle with. So let's do this. And let me talk to you in this episode about why I decided to move. And the story of how I did it exactly was so insane because we did it in two months. We made the decision to move to Barcelona on, I think it was December 1st, and then January 4th, we were already on the plane with 11 huge bags getting ready to move. So I think that deserves an entirely different episode. And how we did it so quickly, I do not recommend it whatsoever that added so much stress into our lives, but we had some circumstances that helped us decide to do it so quickly, or circumstances that kind of like, created a situation where we had to make a decision quickly and either follow it or not. And we decided to follow it. But first, I want to talk about this idea of relocating. So if you know me, you know that I have lived in the US when I was 21. I moved to the US when I was 21, and I lived there for two years, went back to my home country, Israel, and traveled again back to New York for three more years to study acting and to act and to do all those things that I've done. And I talk a lot about it on my podcast and my channel. So I'm not familiar to living abroad. And I always say that even though it was a struggle, I highly recommend it for everyone, for anyone to have the experience of living abroad for at least a few months, because there's something magnificent about being able to reinvent yourself, to reinvent your life, but also to understand that you can make it work for yourself anywhere in the world. And the challenges that you face, unless you solve them here in your brain, they will go with you everywhere. Right? It's not going to be solved by just moving to a different place. It's just geography. So there's something very telling about who we are as individuals when we. When you move away from the place you were born or you. You've been raised, so that has been a really incredible experience for me. And you know, that what has allowed me to do what I do today. So everything has a purpose. Even though I haven't become a successful actress, I'm very, very happy with the. The. The way my life has turned out in the course of my life. So when I gave birth to both of my girls, I said to myself one day, I want to be able to travel with them for a few years or a few months. You know, I developed this beautiful online business where I don't have to be anywhere specific to make it work. I can just log into Zoom and teach my students, my beautiful students. I can record videos anywhere. And I deliberately created an online business so that I would have the freedom. So in my mind I was like, that's a big dream that I want us to fulfill one day. That was when my girls were still very, very young. And the years have passed and my girls got older and started going to school and they loved their school and we made, we've made incredible friends in school and we've built a community and everything has gotten really, really comfortable and good. And in addition to that, my parents moved two buildings away from us. My sister lives right downstairs from us back in my home country in Israel. And nothing could get better, right? Like I was just having my tribe around me for many years. I had my studio where I used to teach students and record my videos and go to work every day and I had my cafe right next to it and everything has been great for many years. And then my daughter started getting older and you know how obsessed I am about with languages and how important I think it is. And I know that school is not the answer. Like they would teach you English, but it's not enough. Like you have to expose yourself to enough English and to use it to be able to build the language skills. And I saw that it was hard for my daughters. And the sad part was that they didn't want to learn with me. They didn't want me to speak English to them, they didn't want to study with me. And I was like, ah, I know that this is now the best time for them to really absorb and immerse in a language, English. And time passes and my older daughter is already 10 and I'm like, nothing's changing. You know, I, I, I really want to help her with that. That's totally me, right? That's not her. And I know that she would get it, but I really want to create the right circumstances for her. Thrive in the language. Knowing how important it is now, I don't think it's a must. My niece, by the way, she only learned English through school and social media and she is 12, no, 13. She's going to kill me. She's 13 now, going on 14. And her English is remarkable. So it's absolutely possible to learn a language without being immersed in it, without living in an English speaking country. But I kind of wanted that for them because I knew that learning in English and also opening themselves into a new environment, new friends, new culture, new Rules would really, really contribute to their growth. So we wanted. Gil and I, my partner, have been talking about it for. For years, but we never took action. It was like, yeah, maybe next year. Oh, you know, like, it's. It's a good idea. But, you know, it means to leave the family. It means to leave our community. They're so comfortable. Why do that? Let's just travel. And we did, like, apart from the two years during COVID every month we would go. Every summer we would go for one month to visit a different city in the world. We would just rent an apartment for an entire month and pretend we're locals. And. And that has been great. But then there comes a time where you're like, okay, let's go back to our regular life. And I always had that feeling where I was like, what if we could stay? What would that look like? What if we could go to school here? Not me, but my girls. What if I started learning another language because I had to, not because I wanted to, because I've been wanting to learn another language for years now, and I never had time. Like, I under prioritized it, and here I am still just speaking English, despite the fact that this is what I do. So on one hand, we had everything. On the other hand, I felt very limited in a creative way. And also, like, mentally, like, I felt that we have put this block or we had the ceiling that prevented us from doing the things that we really wanted to do. And then I think it was September 2023, where we were like, you know what next year that means? You know, September 2024, where my daughter Amalia is going to start sixth grade. I said, what if we plan to move then? And we both were like, okay, let's start exploring it. But I didn't have the urge to do it. I was like, yeah, mentally, like, I know it's good for us. It has been my dream. But, you know, I like it here. And I remember at the end of September, we traveled to Sinai in Egypt with friends, and it was amazing. And we talked about it, and then I told Gil, let's go in November to Barcelona. I had friends in Barcelona. I know the weather is great here. I haven't been in Barcelona for, I don't know, 20 years, 15 years since 2008. And I was like, I don't know why, but I feel like Barcelona would be a good place for us to consider relocation. And we said, okay, let's see. It was his birthday on November. We said, let's do it. Let's Go there for a few days, just him and I, and we'll explore it. And then we went back earlier, early October, and then October 7th happened and our lives completely flipped. I'm not going to go into what has been going on for us personally in the world, in Israel, in Gaza right now on this podcast or on this episode, I actually recorded an entire episode about it. I think I recorded it back in November, but I never shared it. I might share was just really, really hard to talk about it and to explain. And everything is so complex and everything is so conflicted that I just couldn't find the strength in me to share that. But I can tell you that it has had a huge impact on our lives, our well being, our perception of reality. And what happened is that when everything started, we were on this fight or flight mode and we are very privileged and we were able to find, book a ticket because school stopped, everything stopped, work stopped, everything stopped. We had. We were completely dysfunctional, like we couldn't do anything. And we said, okay, let's just go. Let's take my parents. My parents really didn't respond. No one responded like, how. How would you respond? Well, to anything? So, so horrendous. And they decided. We decided to just take them, my parents, and then with my sister and her kids and my kids, and we decided to go to Cyprus. We went to Cyprus for a couple of weeks, two, three weeks, and from there we said, okay, we're gonna go back home, we process things. It was also really hard to be away with everything happening. We were very much glued to the news, everything that is happening. And then we said school was still not happening or at least not regularly. And there were sirens and we were like, I don't know if we should go back to Tel Aviv right now. Let's just go to Barcelona. And even like, we had planned to do this in November anyway, so let's just do it now, you know, it was end of October, I think, so we found a place for one month and we said, effort, let's do it. We took a plane, just my family, my parents and my sister went back home. And that's it. We arrived in Barcelona. And it's hard to say that it has been like an amazing experience that was back in November, because we were really distraught. We were really like, you know, just trying to figure out what's going on with our lives. I couldn't work, really. And that's when we said, okay, but we're here. And we had a plan to check out the city for the purpose of relocating, let's just do it. So what happened was that we went. We started walking around. Everything was really easy and welcoming. And I said to myself, hadar, pay attention, because things are happening in a way. Even though there is all this struggle around you, things are happening in a way that seems to be convenient, smooth. So pay attention, Because I was looking for signs. I was like, what are we gonna do? Now is the worst time to leave. I can't even prepare dinner or breakfast, let alone move myself or make a decision whether or not we should move to a new place. Like, I was. I was like, I can't, I can't. I can't. I can't decide. I don't want to think about anything. I don't want to deal with this again. Like, I was just trying to stay present for myself and for my family. But then it was, like, already two weeks in, and we had two weeks left, and we were like, okay, let's. Let's just do something so we don't feel like we've wasted the time here. And we went to see the school where my friend's kids go to, and we go in, and the principal takes us on a tour. And my girls are getting all excited. They're like, this is really nice. And he says, we have two last places in the school. Exactly. In the classes of your daughters, third grade and fifth grade. I was like, am I being pressured to make a decision now? So he said, you have it this year already. And I was just thinking about the following year. I wasn't thinking about this year. But then he said that. And you know me, I'm a marketing girl. And when someone creates a little bit of scarcity, I'm like, I'm all alert. And I'm like, okay, I need to make a decision now. I don't want to miss out on the opportunity because I also love opportunities, and I like good deals. So to me, that was like, a deal that was presented, a deal that I haven't even thought about. But at the same time, remember that I said to myself, hadar, pay attention to the signs. Pay attention to what is happening, what is unfolding easily for you. Where do you not struggle and pay attention to it? Because, like, you're getting those signs from the universe. I'm like, okay. And then when he said that, I was like, wait a minute. I'm not ready to make a decision. Or maybe I am. And that was mid November. And that's when we went on a spiral, trying to make a decision. If we should relocate because everything was, you know, we had our lives there. If yes, then is it Barcelona? And if yes, is it now or at the beginning of the next school year? And don't forget that that is happening while there is a horrendous war in Israel and Gaza. And I'm, like, holding space for the suffering of everyone every single day, thinking about the massive trauma and pain so many people in my area are experiencing. And I'm like, I. I can't. I can't. I can't make that decision now. To add to that, my parents were visiting us back then. That was in November. My parents were visiting us. I might have to record an entirely different episode about how I had to navigate this in front of my family. Because my close family, my parents, my sister, my nephew and niece are, like, the closest people in the world for me after my core family, like, so close. My nephew and niece are like my kids. We live in this one unit within two floors of one building, and they're the most important thing for me in the world. I can cry. So the decision was really about that, like, am I willing to let go of that special thing that I have with them and with my family? And, you know, I want to be there with next to my parents, and I want to protect them in a way, and I want to make them happy, and I want to make sure that they know they can count on me, like, all these things. So the decision was really about that at the end of the day. And then I was like, what do I want for myself and for my girls? Like, what's stronger? And I have to say, I don't know what is stronger, but I was just consumed with indecision for, I think it was three whole weeks. Obviously, you know the answer, because I'm recording this from Barcelona, and it's still, you know, the 2023, 2024 school year. So you know what decision I've made. But that was the hardest decision I have ever had to make in my life. Add to that that my daughters, they got excited about the idea of moving to Barcelona for a little bit, but then they were like, no, no, we don't want to go anywhere. We want our friends. We want to be close to the family. We want our school. We love our school. No, we don't want to go anywhere. Okay, so here's. If we do decide to do it, then here's a big obstacle. So first of all, do I want to move? Like, that was the first decision I had to think about. And here I processed It. And I said, listen, this has been my dream for years. I don't want to find myself 20 years from today regretting that I haven't taken this decision. I haven't made this decision. I haven't done this. I don't want to regret it. I don't regret it for my girls. I could do it when I'm 60, fine. But I could never do it as a family again. And also, if I wait, my daughters are going to get older, and then it's much harder to move them away from their friends and from their surroundings. So I knew that I'm on the verge of it being okay for them to move without a lot of drama and trauma. You know, I also work with a lot of people who have relocated as teenagers, and I know how traumatic it has been for them. So I said, like, if we're going to do it, we're going to do it either this year or the beginning of next year. And I said to myself, we can define that. It's going to be temporary. It doesn't have to be for our entire lives. We still want to be around our families. So what if we just decide that it's going to be for two years or a year and a half? What if we frame it like that so it's easier to think about it without feeling like it's detrimental? And then I asked myself, is Barcelona the place? And I went back to this idea that everything seemed so easy. Everything unfolded in a way that made sense, right? And I said, I'm gonna listen to this. I'm not gonna fight against it. This is where we ended up going to. This is probably going to be the place. And honestly, there are no wrong decisions. We could have chosen this. We could have chosen Berlin. We could have chosen London. We could have chosen any place. Well, not really, because I don't have a European passport. I'm going to talk to you about my visa situation. On a different episode, another drama. I think I lost a year of my life trying to figure this out, but it's an interesting story, so I'm going to tell you all about it. We did arrive on a tourist visa without the certainty of getting a permanent visa. Just saying that, which is probably the craziest thing I've done. But going back to decisions, I'm like, doesn't matter. Barcelona, Rome, it doesn't matter. Everything is going to be equally perfect because I have made that decision. I would have made that decision. Right? Like, and that's it. Okay, so, yes to doing it at a Certain point, yes, to Barcelona. But should I do it now or should I do it at the end, at the beginning of the next school year, let them finish the year, give us some time to plan, prepare, pack, prepare everyone, that this is what we're going to do. Get used to the idea. Because when I, at that point, when I was talking about this with my parents and my sister, like, it was very, very emotional for all of us. It was really, really hard to comprehend that we might actually do this. And then I thought, you know, like, first of all, there is so much. There is so much uncertainty right now. When. When we made that decision, school was still not back to its normal routine. And I felt like there was a lot of uncertainty and the political situation. But mostly it was this idea that if any way we're going to do this, then why not set my daughters up for success and give them this year to adjust to learn the language so they start the next year with some knowledge of the language, with friends, and with not feeling like everything is starting fresh. And also, I thought that it might be even better for the girls to enter in the middle of the school year, let's say January, where everyone is already settled. Not everyone's new, the teacher is not new, not everything feels like new. Maybe it would be good in hindsight. That was, like, the best decision I've taken. I have to tell you this. If you're planning on relocating, plan to do it on in January, because it is so different, I think. And then it was like, are we going to be able to do it? That was again, end of November. And I was like, I don't know. And I was still going back and forth whether or not we should do it. We went back to Tel Aviv and I said to myself, I'm giving myself one week, one week to make a decision. And I said to my girls, listen, I know that you've been really stressed about us trying to make a decision. I promise that I'm going to give you a final answer on Saturday. So I gave them a date. And I've made that commitment for myself, by the way, very much like this. What I did with this episode, I announced that I'm going to start a podcast series about my relocation experience. And I announced that the first episode is going to be published on Friday. Today is a Thursday, the Thursday before the Friday where this is supposed to be published. I'm just saying that I'm the type of person who sets a deadline and then I, you know, I do the thing. I hold myself accountable that way. Anyway, I told them, by Saturday, we're gonna make a decision. So. So I said, this is how I made sure that I don't continue dwelling in making the decision. And as soon as we got back home and I laid on my bed and I was like, this is home. Why would I ever want to leave here? Leave, not live. Leave. Like, this feels. After three. After over a month and a half of being away, going back home and seeing my cat again and. And, like, having my own dishes and coffee cups, I was like, this is a home. Like, I don't want to go anywhere. And being with my sister and my parents and all of that. And then I'm like, we're not going. Sorry, No, I can't. I don't want to. And of course, Gil and I are constantly talking and fighting and talking and fighting and, like, oh, crazy. And then I said to myself, the next day, I went back to thinking about how I want my future to look like and what I'm envisioning for myself and for my family. And I was like, I gotta operate from there, knowing that I'm gonna feel at home anywhere, right? I cannot be here and try to make these big decisions. Operating from a feeling that I don't want to lose all of this. What if I were to gain so much more? So I had to do a lot of mindset work and really ask myself, what do I want for myself? My future self and my future family. Not future family. That sounds a little weird. My current family and the future. So I spent the week crying, talking to friends, crying some more. And then one day I was walking and I was like, we're going to go. I know how to make things happen. And if we need one month to make it happen, I will make it happen. And I said to myself, I've been feeling stuck creatively for over a year. I love my work. I love my students. I enjoy it so much. But I felt like I was repeating myself, both in terms of my ideas and also in terms of, you know, the things that we do. Okay, so we promote this program, and then we teach this program, and then we create this. But I wasn't inspired to come up with exceptional ideas. And if you know me, you know that I love doing that. And I'm like, I don't know what else I need to do for that. And then I said to myself, I have to rock the boat. I have to move my cheese. I have to get uncomfortable. I have to stretch myself beyond my capacity, because otherwise I will stay stuck. And I will feel stuck forever for as long as I'm here, because I'm not doing anything different. And that was the thing, in addition to everything else that I told you that made me feel like, okay, let's do it. So around December 1st, we decided to go to Barcelona. We told the girls, we told the family was the hardest thing I had to do. Up until then, saying goodbye was actually the hardest thing we've ever done. Right before we left requires a different episode that night. Also today was the day where I'm recording this episode and my parents left. They came here again to help us get settled in and to see our lives here and to be with us a little bit. We've been here for a month and 10 days, and today they left back home. And it's been really hard. But, you know, I've been dealing with this feeling of guilt and also with missing them so much. Like, it's a huge part of me, and I'm. My family is a huge part of me. And now I'm, like, deliberately taking myself out of it. Like, why the hell am I doing this? And, you know, when I feel like. When I feel sad or I feel like I miss them so much, I start feeling guilt, like. Or regret. And I crossed the street the other day and I felt that. And I said to myself, what if we just. You just sit with those emotions and you accept that this is a part of life in your decision to live the life that you want. So what if you just. You just miss them and you just feel sad, and that is okay. It doesn't mean that you need to feel guilt. It doesn't mean that you need to feel regret. Life is complex. And there's like, you know, you enjoy your new lives. You're starting to enjoy your new life. It's been a hard month. You're starting to enjoy your new life, and at the same time, you miss your old life, and that is okay. I mean, we're complex human beings, and we can hold those two truths at the same time. And that's what I decided to do. So it was easier to manage. And I said to myself, what can I do now to make myself feel better? I kept walking. I love walking. So that has been great. So that's where I am. We've made the decision. We are here. We are happy. We have made this decision. And now. And like I said, like, even when we got here, even though it was really hard and a lot of technical, bureaucratic issues, if you live in Spain or if, you know, Spain you know that bureaucracy here is a thing. I'm gonna record an episode about that. I have a lot of things to talk about. Just saying. Okay. And by the way, if you don't wanna hear my long stories. Cause I know I tend to speak for a long time. Just listen to my Tuesday episodes. This is going to be on Fridays, so you can choose. You can choose. Anyway, so, yeah, it's been. It's been really funny. It's been humbling. So. Especially the language part. Oh, my God. Not being able to speak or being ashamed to speak and avoiding. The other day, my daughters wanted me to ask for a napkin or something. And I was like, you don't need a napkin. Just because I didn't want to go and ask for a napkin. Like, literally. I tried to convince my daughter that she doesn't need a napkin because I was too embarrassed to not know how to ask for a napkin. You guys, I get you. I hear you. I'm gonna. We're gonna figure this out, this language thing, I promise you. Now I'm in the same boat as as many people who are just starting out, right? Obviously, my English experience is very different now. I have been where you are now in English as well, but it's easy to forget. And now you have more experience now working with students about this than having this experience by myself. So now I'm in the boat. I'm. I'm. I'm in the. I'm. I'm. I'm doing the work with you. I'm studying Spanish here. You. They speak Catalan and Spanish. I'm embarrassed to say that sometimes I can't tell the difference between the two languages. I've watched YouTube videos. I've listened carefully to people. I understand Spanish, okay? Like, I understand some Spanish. So people call me and to tell me that my IKEA order is coming in 15 minutes. And I understand it. But sometimes when people talk to me, I'm like, is this Catalan? Is this Spanish? I don't understand anything. And it's just because I feel they speak fast and I can't. My brain, like, I get stressed out and like, literally this is what's happening to me with all the work that I'm doing. But it doesn't. Except for like, asking for a napkin, it doesn't prevent me from doing big things for the most part. Anyway. Okay. I think that's it for the first episode. I think I talked a lot and. And I hope you enjoyed the series. I feel like I will enjoy talking about. It's like documenting. It's like I. I'm gonna call it my Relocation Diaries. Also, because it's going to be like my diary, my journal. Right. Um, it's gonna force me to document this experience. Cause usually I tend to just go, go, go, go, go, and. And move on to the next thing, and then I forget the journey, and I don't wanna forget it, and I wanna share it. So I hope you're here for the ride. And that's it. Thank you for listening. Thank you for being here. And I'll see you. I'll talk to you. I'll talk to you.