412. Reflections at the end of the school year | My Relocation Diaries

Hey, everyone. Welcome to my Relocation Diaries, where I share with you the behind the scenes of my life. After relocating to Barcelona, we moved here six months ago in January 2024, and it is now June of 2024. Today, I want to talk about assessing your progress by observing different points in time. And I'm going to talk about my experience, but also reflect on my daughter's experience as they are about to finish the school year. They end the school year next week, which is crazy, time flies. And they started this school year in September 2023, back in Israel, back home. So for them, you can definitely say that a lot has changed. And I can tell you that the progress that they have gone through this year is incomparable to other years, other school years. So definitely the actions that we've taken this year have completely changed the overall arch of their personal development and academic development. This specific year. I want to start by sharing with you something that happened the other day. I was in a cab going home, and we took this route, and all of a sudden I had this flashback to the first week of me being in Barcelona, of like, being in a cab taking the same route. It was winter, and all of a sudden I felt myself now in this moment. And then I remembered myself back then, tired, scared, overwhelmed, excited after just moving into a new country, uncertain. So much uncertainty six months ago. And it was so interesting to see the progress simply by checking myself at a certain time and place in comparison to another time and place. Right? Being in a cab, going somewhere on January 6th and on July 16th, and what has changed about me, about my circumstances, about everything around me. And I can tell you that, like, the last six months have been the most transformative, um, and active six months probably of my life. Because there was always something happening, whether it was in my life, in my business, my family, like, there was always something to deal with. And when, when the circumstance, when the stakes are high or circumstances are very, very different, you can easily see the changes, you can easily see the progress, and you can see how that changes rapidly. So for me, I realized, oh, my God, like, I'm. I'm at a completely different place in terms of my confidence in my decision. Because right now I can tell you we are happy that we've made this move, especially because we see the impact it had on our family and my daughters specifically. And I'm going to talk about that as I reflect on their journey in school. But I see what it did to them personally and academically too, and I'm thinking they needed it. And we needed it, too. And while I'm very proud of everything that I have achieved, you know, we had that incredible community meetup, and we're working on big projects at work, and I have a home that I love, and I'm. I know Barcelona so much better, and I have fun friends. I could still tell you that I'm very, very frustrated with my progress in Spanish. You know, the other day, we. There was, like, a little bit of drama in the group chat of the parents of my daughter's school or class, and people were communicating both in English and in Spanish. And I wanted to be really, really quick in responding and to understand really well what was happening, because I have, like, a strong sense of justice, and I always have to share what I think when I see that something is not going right. And I felt, like, so limited. I had to copy paste the messages and be like, okay, how do I say that? And then the conversation changed really quickly, and I was behind, and I felt like, okay, but this is where I need Spanish, because I want to be a part of the community. I want to contribute. And I felt very limited because. Because really, like, there was all these things happening, and I have compassion for myself. I understand that I was dealing with other things, and this is why I wasn't. I didn't have the brain capacity and the time to invest in my Spanish studies. I get that. I'm still unhappy with my progress. And I think if you're learning a second language, you can all resonate with that or relate to that, where there's always, like, a better place we want to be in. Right. But the question is, are you happy with where you are at now? And do you have compassion for yourself, understanding that there was a reason why you can't be where you want to be? Because language is not the only thing that we have in our lives. So I'm balancing those two things. One, I should be at a different place by now. Two, there was no way for me to do more than I have already done. And it's okay that I can only communicate with very broken sentences and very few verbs. So, yes, maybe I'm using the same verb for different things, but at least I'm trying. I'm in this complexity, and I think it's okay. I think it's okay as long as I'm proactive, as long as that doesn't stop me. It doesn't make me feel bad about myself. I just want more. But I also think that wanting more is what is going to drive me and Motivate me to put in more work this summer, which is the plan. So, overall, I'm very happy with where I am today. Like, looking at myself now, looking at myself six months ago, and now, as the school year is about to end, I'm looking at my daughters, and I'm thinking, oh, my God. For them, the change has been a lot more noticeable and rapid, because I think I've shared that before. But when back home, they went to this really great school, but it was a democratic school, so they chose their own classes, and there was no homework, no tests. It wasn't very demanding academically, so they could just come in, develop their social skills and their critical thinking. And I think this is so incredibly important, and I see how that plays out now in their lives. But it feels like now, you know, we've moved to a different school, a different country, different languages. So now they learn in English and Spanish, and it is so much more demanding. The day is eight hours in comparison to six hours. They have to take a bus to school and back, so the day is a lot more intense and longer. So they're dealing with all those things, and it's a lot. But I'm also looking at them and I see how they dealt with it. Each with her own, you know, in her own way, you know, Amalia is more introverted, and, like, she wasn't very expressive about the internal changes that she's going through. Asia is a lot more expressive. She can put it in the right words, she can express her challenges. And, like, I'm looking at each of them. Amalia dealing with studying in a new language, dealing with her perfectionism and her need to finish everything until the end and to take her time with the high demand of the school year and the homework and the tests. And also she needs some time for herself to recharge. So, you know, like, that was also interesting to see how she knows. Only now I feel like she's able to communicate and say, I can do everything in a sequence. Like, I have to take some breaks. I can't study for three hours straight because my brain needs a break. It takes. It's too much for me. And I love it that she's able to say that because she learns about the best way for her to learn and what she needs. But also she is really learning how to prioritize, how to organize her time, how to make decisions. And we are still working hard at trying to understand how to understand the difference between the more important and the less important so that she doesn't invest all this energy on the wrong things. And I think this is the biggest lessons for us. And sometimes I find myself like, really wanting to tell her, do this, don't do that, stop doing this and focus on that. And it's not my journey. I'm trying to make it easier for her so she doesn't suffer. But by doing that, I'm actually taking away the most important lessons that she needs to learn. So sometimes the lesson is going to be like, oh, you know, I didn't prioritize homework and I wanted to finish my homework and now I feel bad and it's 10pm she'd be like, no, I need to do it. I'm like, you can't, it's 10pm like it's, it's time to go to sleep. You have to wake up at 6:30 and like to deal with the anxiety and the stress around not completing her tasks because she was not prioritizing her time. So, yes, like, on one hand I want to be the. I feel like I should be the mother who says, sit down, do your homework, you have to do it. But I don't believe in it. I think she needs to learn that if it's important for her, she should do it and find a time to do it and a way to do it. But if not, then she would have to deal with the consequences. I'm not concerned if her homework is not ready. I know that it's going to have an impact on her, and this is why I need her to understand what's important for her and what she can learn from it. So I'm still learning this because I find myself every now and then, like, Amalia, you have to do your homework. Because I know she's going to get stressed out about it. But I don't think it's helping because it feels like, oh, it's my agenda for her to do her homework, but it should be hers because I trust that eventually she will learn this stuff. Right. I'm not worried. I also want to talk about the progress in the language. Like I said, they're learning Spanish and English. Most of the classes are in English and they have both Spanish and English classes for non native speakers to support them with their language progress. Although I know that helped, I believe that the one thing that really helped Amalia make huge progress in English was studying in English. So she got really passionate about social science. Social science. I always say social studies. So if I say social studies, please forgive me, it's social science. Even though it's sort of the same, which is where she learns about the history of Spain and the Parliament and the European Union and all those things that I have never learned. And she has all these words that I. I don't even know in English. And I'm like, I can't believe she's studying it. And at the beginning when she did that, I was like, why is she doing it? Like, let's wait for her to understand the language first so she can understand the content and then she can answer the questions. But, you know, what she did was she learned how to read and recognize when there is relevant content and to just copy paste it. And I was like, this is not effective. But I was wrong because she has learned so much about it from just doing it right. Like just finding the right source in the book. Copying not only helped her to learn the content, but also that was the best way for her to learn and practice English. Her writing has improved, her reading has improved, her vocabulary, her. Her grammar simply by working with content. And I always say that when you want to learn and improve your English, it's so much more effective to do something that is not to learn English. You can improve your grammar so much by writing and reading more right. Than just learning about all the different tenses. I'm not saying it's not important, and I definitely include that in my programs, but you really understand so much more about the language, the grammar, the vocabulary, subconsciously when you're doing something else, especially if you're passionate about it. And Amalia was really passionate about it, about learning the history of Spain, like, really, really passionate about it. And, you know, she had to do all these different presentations. So I saw her progress and how she built her confidence. And I'm looking back at when she first joined. Everything was just overwhelming, and she just had to get through the day. And now she's, like, active and making those presentations, and it's really important for her. And she's learning by heart some things. And it had nothing to do with me. I didn't push her to do it. On the contrary, I'm the type of parent who's like, Amalia, you don't have to work so hard, or Amalia, it's not that important, or it's okay if you don't submit your homework. But you know, she did it. And I think that is really the main thing that helped her learn the language and use it and get confident in it, because she's now communicating with her friends, some of her friends, and it's much easier for her to Understand English when I use it, when she watches YouTube videos, you know, she was in my community meetup and. And I had a speech there. And the next day she said some things about the things that I said that were a little complicated. And I was like, I can't believe you understood everything that I said. So I'm so, so satisfied or happy to see that she is happy and she's content and she's proud of herself because it's been a hard year. Like I said, adjust yourself to a new environment, new languages, new type of content, a new way of learning is a lot and is a reminder that there's so much that can happen in six months, and there is so much progress you can make in six months, as long as you keep taking daily actions that challenge you. And I feel like that's what we have done as a family, what I have done personally and at work and definitely what my daughters have done, especially Amalia. Like, she was keeping her head down, doing the work, showing up. She actually enjoyed going to school while making connections with other friends and also doing her schoolwork when it comes to Asia, I think, because also the academic requirements are a lot less demanding. In the third grade, for her, it was mostly about change, about adapting to change. Because as a type of person who really like. She really liked her home, she didn't like a lot of changes. She didn't like it when we traveled, maybe in the first few days, but then she wanted to go back home. So for her, the main thing is about changing the concept of home and learning how to create a new sense of home. And I think that was the biggest challenge for us in the first three, four months. That and also adjusting socially, because both of my girls, they were in the same environment since kindergarten for many, many years. They never had to find themselves in a new environment and learn how to make friends or how to read the social map. Who's friends with who, what type of people are around her, who can she trust? Who can't she trust? Like, she had to. She never had that. She was always very cushioned socially, and I feel like it was a big, big challenge. She was very open about it. She was very expressive about it, which is. Which was great because it allowed us to help her. But that was like her big journey. And I feel like now she feels a lot more grounded at home. Like, this is her home now. I think she feels that she has friends that she loves. She misses home, but it's not as burning as it was in the first three, four months. Which is a huge win for all of us, I think. And again, like, it's so interesting to see the progress when you check this point in time and then six months prior. And I think, like, my main lesson from this school year is to let them do the work and let them experience pain and struggle and challenges, because really my aim is always to keep them away or save them from pain and from struggle. And I think that by doing that or trying to do that, I take away from their independence and the work that they're here to do. When Amalia gets anxious about not doing her homework at 10:00pm, you know, the easy way for me would be to be like, okay, okay, let's do it, but really quickly, and then let her go to sleep at 11. Right. I rarely do it, but I have done it because I didn't want her to be stressed out. But is this the right lesson or should I teach her that? Yeah, now you're dealing with anxiety and it's okay. And you need to learn how to manage all those thoughts, because it's part of life when we don't do the things that we need to do, or sometimes we do, but it doesn't turn out the way we want them to. And we will deal with those big heavy feelings, and we shouldn't be so afraid of them and try to avoid them. And I'm trying to take them away from my daughters by solving the situation or telling them what to do. And I think this is not my job. It's easier for them and for me, but it's not my job. So I think that is my biggest lesson from this year. And also to trust the process. We've made a decision. We, we have come here. It's so easy to go back and start overthinking it or rethinking it where there is nothing we can do really about the decision. Once we make a decision, right, we can make another decision to change it. But once we make a decision, sometimes we spend so much energy in thinking about that decision and if we've made the right decision, and I think that's such a waste of time and energy. So really to trust that we've made a decision, we've probably put in a lot of work and thought into it, and now we can just trust the process and let the world do its magic, let the universe do its magic. And also remember the compound effect that with small daily actions of doing something new or towards your goal, even though you might not feel the change or incremental improvement day by day, Sometimes we feel like we're regressing. Sometimes we feel like we are at a totally different level of progress. Sometimes we feel like, you know, we are totally in the wrong direction. But if we keep taking action, we. One day we will wake up and look at ourselves. Six months. Ourselves from six months ago and be like, oh, actually, a lot has changed. And I kind of like the person that I'm becoming or what's possible for me now or what's available for me or the circumstances that I'm in. But these are the things that you can only see in hindsight, comparing yourself to a different point in time and space. So that is it. That is my reflection today. And I'm really looking forward to the summer, to days where we wouldn't. We won't have to wake up very, very early in the morning. And my daughters are going to be in summer camp for the first two weeks. Then we have a lot of plans, different plans. In the summer, we're going to take a road trip to Portugal to Jelena's wedding. Jelena for my team. And we're going to travel. We rented a car for the summer, which is amazing because it makes me feel this. It gives me this new sense of freedom that I feel. Like yesterday, Gil and I were talking about the fact that maybe over the weekend we can just drive to France. This is incomprehensible to me. Like, driving to France before traveling to France would mean that I would have to get a ticket. Means investing a lot of money. It means organizing it ahead of time. And now I'm like, oh, I'll just drive to France. It's insane, that concept of you can just drive to a different country. So it's really exciting, and I'm really looking forward to the summer. And also we have a lot of big plans in the company, so I'm looking forward to that as well. And I promise to keep updating you in my relocation diaries. Thank you so much for tuning in today, and I hope you have a really, really nice weekend or just week ahead of you whenever you're watching this. Have a great day. Bye. It.