413. Limiting Beliefs in English and How You Can Change Them

Hey everyone. Welcome to the Influency Podcast. I'm Hadar and this is episode number 413. Today we are going to talk about some of the most common limiting beliefs non native speakers of English have and how to overcome them. Hey.

Hey everyone.

Welcome to the Influenza podcast. Thank you so much for joining me today. And today we are going to talk about mindset and thought work. Every now and then I am here to remind you that no matter how much you practice your pronunciation, grammar, vocabulary and even practice speaking, it is not enough. Because speaking confidently and freely and clearly is a holistic journey. And we need to take into consideration how we think and how we feel before we speak, while we speak, and after we speak. And this is why I always like to introduce this type of mindset work. Now this is for you. If you feel like you are consumed with the negative self talk or, or you feel like you are not progressing quickly enough, if you experience anxiety or fear around speaking, if you feel like you're not motivated, if you feel like you deserve a better experience in English because you tend to overthink everything. So if this is you, this episode is absolutely for you. But even if you're hesitant about this thing called mindset work and you're like, well, I just want the practical stuff like pronunciation and grammar, I bet that there is something in this episode for you as well. Because I'm going to list some of the beliefs that I've seen most of my students have that have been holding them back for so many years until they realized that they could work on these beliefs and change them. And the thing about beliefs is that it almost feels like it's just our observation of reality. So we don't think of it as if there is something wrong about how we think about it. So if you're a skeptic and you think that, oh no, this type of work is not for me, I want to encourage you to listen until the end so that you can see that maybe some of the things that I talk about might be things that go through your head and maybe, maybe you can change that as well and create a better experience for yourself. So I'm not going to make you wait any longer. Let's go ahead and listen to today's episode.

Hey everyone, it's Hadar. Thank you so much for joining me today. I want to talk about four very common limiting beliefs that, that learners of English or non native speakers have that prevent them from reaching limitless fluency. And when I say limitless fluency, I mean being Able to communicate in English without overthinking, without second guessing myself. I don't mean speaking perfectly or flawlessly. No, I really mean having an internal sense of freedom and having all the words available to you and, and speaking without getting stuck. That is what I consider limitless fluency. And in many cases for many people, there are some fundamental beliefs or thoughts that prevent people from getting to that place no matter how much time they put into their English studies or their English practice. And I'm talking about people who even have been living in an English speaking country for over 20 years and they still struggle. In many of the cases, this is caused by limiting beliefs. And today I'm going to talk about that. So first of all, what is a limiting belief? A limiting belief is a belief. So it's a thought that you have thought many, many, many, many times before that it has become a belief of yours. And belief is usually something that you think is true without having proof that it's actually true. That is a. A belief. So a limiting belief is a belief that limits your full potential. So let's talk about the limiting beliefs that might prevent you from reaching limitless fluency. The first belief is my English is just not good enough. Now again, on the surface you can tell me, but Hadar, my English is not good enough. I'm not ready, I'm not advanced, I'm not a C2 speaker. And maybe you are just thinking, I'm just seeing things as it is. But my question is, how is that belief or that thought serve you? So let's see how that plays out. Let's say you have a job interview for a job that requires English and you're thinking you're going back to this belief, my English is not good enough for this, then what is likely to happen? Are you likely to go ahead and do whatever it takes to pass the interview and do the job in the best possible way, or are you likely to do the opposite? When you have a belief like my English is not good enough, whether it's for a job interview, whether it's to speak to a native speaker, whether it's to enroll to an English course, then that thought, that belief triggers a negative emotion like, like frustration, disappointment, fear of speaking, sadness, right? And usually from those negative feelings, you are less likely to practice, prepare.

Speak.

Dare have the courage to do something. Right? You see how that works? And because of that, when you, let's say, not do things, you don't speak, you don't practice, you don't prepare, you're less likely to get a job in English or to improve your English because you're practicing. So that belief my English is not good enough is going to lead to you not improving your English and keeping your English at a level that you're unsatisfied with. Now, it doesn't mean that you need to say my English is perfect, but how about replacing this thought with my English is good enough for what I need now. My English is good enough for this job. My English is good enough for this conversation. My English is improving every single day. If you change the negative belief with a positive belief, you are more likely to have a positive emotion and as a result, to take positive action to create a life where you feel confident and fluent and free English. Another limiting belief that you might have is I'm going to waste their time. Now, this is really deep because I have heard this a lot from my students. And this happens when people feel like they're not clear. They might get stuck, they might have to ask others to repeat themselves. And this is why they don't engage in conversations, especially with native speakers, because they don't want to waste their time. Now, on the surface, this is a very considerate thought, right? Oh, you are just very considerate of other people's time. But in fact, think about the impact that this might have. First, it actually suggests that you have no space. You cannot take space and time. That's not a good thing. Second, you don't trust yourself that you will be able to communicate confidently with anyone. And it might make you lead to another belief that you're not worthy of people's time or your words don't matter where all of that is not true. How do you know that you're going to waste someone's time if you get stuck? If you have to repeat yourself, if you have to ask other people to repeat themselves, right? So when you have that belief, you are less likely to show up, to speak, to ask questions, to trust yourself, and to improve your by doing that. So if this is a thought that you've been thinking in the past, especially before speaking to others, try changing it with my words matter. People are interested in what I have to say. I know how to communicate confidently. Whatever mantra or thought that works for you, this is what I want you to focus on. Now, by the way, I have a PDF with 30 affirmations that you can download and use them for for building new beliefs and replacing the limiting beliefs with new positive thoughts and beliefs. So it's free. Please feel free to download it, put it in front of you and use it daily. Another belief that might get in your way of reaching limitless fluency is they're going to think I'm not intelligent. So this happens when people are afraid of communicating with others and after that being judged. And that happens because we might get stuck or make a mistake or say something incorrectly or make a pronunciation mistake. And there is this fear that, or there is this belief that we need to be perfect because these are the messages that we get from society that things need to be right or you need to sound like a native speaker or you need to speak perfectly, which is absolutely not true. This is not based on facts. In fact, there are a lot of native speakers and non native speakers who are excellent communicators who make mistakes. And the thing is that when you believe that you need to be perfect to be able to speak with others and you will be perceived as not intelligent, uneducated, maybe you might, you think that people will think that you have a low level of English, like whatever that is, whatever that belief it is for you, I want you to know that it is not serving you. People will not judge you if you make a mistake. If they do, that is their problem. I always say let them take it to their therapist. It's not your problem. You speak in a second language, a third language. You are entitled to make mistakes. And in fact mistakes is the best way to learn. So I don't want you to be afraid of mistakes. And when you have the belief that people are going to think that I'm not intelligent, you're actually telling yourself that mistakes are bad and that you are going to be judged because you're making mistakes or because you get stuck, whatever that is. And just thinking that might create so much stress. And that stress alone may cause you to get stuck and make mistakes. So it's kind of like a self fulfilling prophecy. So instead of thinking they're going to think that I'm not intelligent, I want you to go back to thoughts like my words are important or I know what I'm talking about or I'm an excellent communicator. Okay, good. The last thought, and this one is also a little tricky is this is so hard or English is so hard or English is so hard for me. Now again you might say to yourself, but hadar, it's hard or but hadar it's just, you know, it's hard to learn a second language. So my question again to you would be how is that serving you? Because if you know of someone who might not find it Hard to learn, study, practice English or any other language who might even find it joyful. And I can name quite a lot of people who find studying English and practicing English joyful and fun and exciting. So if that is the case for some people, it means that it's not a fact. English is not hard for everyone. And therefore, why would you choose to make it that for you? Right? Because if you are thinking English is so hard, and then you say to yourself, I have to study English, and then you sit down to study English, but in your head you have this belief that English is so hard. Do you really think that you're going to have an effective practice or you'll study effectively? No. Your brain is not going to be able to learn and retain information if you're constantly telling it that it's hard. You're probably less likely to stay focused, and you're not going to stay motivated to do the work because you'll constantly feel like it's hard. And when you feel it's hard, hard, then you know, there is this part of us that just wants to not be in a situation where something is hard. So you'll find ways to distract yourself, ways to do other things, to go to easy things. Even in English, every time you do something that is a little challenging and that voice says, oh, it's so hard, it's so hard for me, I don't know how to learn. Then as a result, you're less likely to push yourself to do things that feel hard. Yes, sometimes it's. It feels like a lot, but it doesn't mean that it's hard, slash, impossible. Slash impossible for you. Okay, so I want you to understand how these thoughts can actually get in your way and how simply by changing how you think or just becoming aware. You know what? Don't. Don't even change anything. Just become aware of these thoughts and beliefs and recognize that they affect how you feel. And when you feel a certain way, you're less likely to do things or you're more likely to do things that are not productive. And as a result, you're not seeing results. Right. You're not reaching that sense of freedom and limitless fluency that you probably want to have. Okay, so becoming aware and then gradually intentionally changing the way you think might be the best thing you can do for yourself and for your English. Okay, so instead of thinking English is so hard, how about I can do hard things, or I know how to learn, or I can figure this out.

Right?

You've already learned a language once, so your brain knows how to learn languages. You know, you got this. What if you just thought, I got this Every time that feeling of, oh, it's starting to be hard. English is so hard. No, I got this. And when you think to yourself, I got this, how does that make you feel? Heavy? Frustrated? Sad? Disappointed? No, it makes you feel excited, curious, open to learning, and confident. And from that you are more likely to study effectively, stay motivated, do the work, and simply speak. And that alone is going to change your circumstances and bring you closer to speaking English with limitless fluency. All right, what other limiting beliefs you have, let me know in the comments below. And also, don't forget to download my affirmations to help you build a strong and healthy mindset. And and by the way, if this speaks to you, then I also want to tell you that I have a program called My English mindset. It's 30 days of 30 daily lessons. Each lesson is only 10 minutes and in each lesson I tackle a different challenge that gets in your way. When it comes to building a strong and healthy mindset, we talk about a lot of things. It's $29. You get lifetime access to it and it's really game changer. So go ahead and check it out. I'm going to put a link to it in the description below. Thank you so much for joining me today. If you enjoyed it, please share this video with others. Have a beautiful, beautiful rest of the day and I will see you next week in the next video.

Bye.