523. She could barely speak English. Now she runs her own business

Who am I? This was the question that Glenda kept asking herself when she first immigrated to the US from Costa Rica. She couldn't speak the language. It was hard for her to commute. She didn't know anyone. She didn't have family except for her husband. She had to reinvent herself. The Glenda that she knew in Spanish, doing what she used to do back home, She was no longer the Glenda that she was, and she had to start all over again and to build herself in English. Now, Glenda runs her own business training dogs. She's teaching her fellow Americans how to work with their dogs. She hosts conversation groups and book clubs in our community, and she is the best version of herself. She is confident, she is fluent, she's funny, she's expressive, and she is herself. She no longer asks herself, who am I? And she's also a proud mom, and she's able to provide to her daughter the thing that she believes she deserves. I love Glenda's story because it's a story of transformation. It's a story of courage. It's a story of persistence. Despite the challenges, despite the negativity that she's experienced, and despite the tendency of letting fear take over. I cannot wait to share with you this conversation. Let's listen.

Hi, Glenda.

How are you?

Hi, Hadar. I'm really, really good right now. I'm happy to be here with you.

Not as happy as I am. I'm telling you, I missed you and I wanted to have this conversation for a long time, and I'm glad that we get to have it here and to talk about your beautiful, beautiful, beautiful journey in English and in life. So, I cannot wait to hear more about your story. First of all, introduce yourself as you would introduce yourself in a conversation group or to someone new. Meeting you.

So, well, I'm Glenda and I'm from Costa Rica. I've been here in the US for about, I think, 7 years. I think this year it will be 8 years. I came here and I basically restarted my life right here. I didn't speak the language at all. I thought I was speaking, but no, not really. And so I have to start like learning everything from zero and even how to live here. And currently I'm living in Arkansas and here with my husband, my dog, and now my daughter. And yeah, she's 13 months old.

Oh my God, she's already 13 months.

Yes. Wow, beautiful. Yeah, so the family grow— it grew. And so now we are really happy with this new, like, chapter in our lives as parents. Yeah.

Amazing. So there is so much to unpack when it comes to your journey, but tell me what it was like as a young immigrant who has just moved to the US thinking that she knows English, but something happened that made you realize that, wait, I'm not able to communicate the way I want. So tell me a little bit about that experience and the key struggles that you had at the beginning.

Yeah. Well, I want to say first that my dream was always to live abroad. Always. So I was always chasing any, like, opportunity for scholarships and to live abroad. So that was my dream. And you would have thought that because it's something that you wish, you probably gonna be better or gonna be easy just to move another country. So when I met my husband and he is from the US, here from the US, and then he stayed there in Costa Rica for a while and then he said, hey, what about if we go to the US? We start like different life, right? At that moment, and I think this is pretty good, I was in the end of my career, almost in the last year in my career. And so I was about to, you know, start a new, like, a new, like, journey in my life because I was gonna earn my title and start my career, you know, running maybe my, that was my thing, maybe running my own like, yeah, uh, office, whatever.

So that was back in Costa Rica where you were succeeding professionally. Well, what was it that you were doing before?

Well, I was like, uh, studying. And so before studying, working at the same time. So I was working so, so hard all day and at night I was going to college. And so I was in my last year and I was gonna graduate. I graduated already. And, um, and so that meant a lot to me. So then I got, we got married the same year and, and then we moved in the same year. That was back in 2017. So in January, I graduated. I, I got married and graduated. In August later, we moved. Wow. That was an intense year. That was an intense year. It was a lot, a lot to process. And when I came here, it was like, who am I? So I don't have a work. I'm not studying. And yeah, I'm learning English, but I'm terrified being here. So I don't know how to navigate in this new world. It was my first time in another country. And I, and then I found myself that I need to learn how to take the bus, how to speak, how to get the bus ticket. Uh, I didn't know how to drive. And so everything, everything was new. The weather, the, the time, you know, the daylight, all those changes just came together and it was for me like a huge shock. Huge wave that I wasn't sure if I could like handle everything.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I'm not talking about your mood or your relationship where you felt so limited and probably dependent on your husband for so many things.

Well, in part, emotionally it was a lot. So, you know, I was, I'm happy with, with my husband. Of course. I'm very excited and everything, but the fact that to move from like being independent, working and studying, manage and managing everything, arranging everything to like be like a baby. It was like, it would be like, I need my husband to speak to me, to tell me, to demonstrate how to do everything. And what specifically to ask to people, what specifically to look for. And while he was studying, because he was at that moment, he was, um, um, the university getting his master's degree. So during the day he was studying and I was at home. Thankfully I had my dog, but every, everything was just completely new and I didn't, I felt like there were moments that I felt like limited, really limited, powerless. And because I was like there at home, I was taking classes in person, but every time I went to downtown, it was just a lot like surviving mode, you know?

Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, it's still, it was a lot.

I just have to say that I think that immigrant experience, like, I'm sure a lot of people talk about it, but when it comes to the language and like learning how to live in a new place, it is a lot. Like, I remember moving to Barcelona 2 and a half years ago and discovering every single thing. How do I register in the municipality? How do I go to the doctor? What about insurance, right? Like questions that you take for granted in your, you know, like where you in your home country, and then all of a sudden, and when there is the language barrier, it's even more debilitating. And I absolutely relate to that, especially one person in the relationship, and it has nothing to do with how good the relationship is, but when one person is more well-versed and speaks the language, there's also like a power shift where you feel very dependent. And I think, yeah, I think it makes you feel like even less, you know, productive, efficient.

Yes.

Even worthy. And I think that I have definitely experienced that being a very independent woman. Yeah. And that is like what it's like when you immigrate. And thank you for saying that because I think a lot of people would relate to that. Helplessness, you know, that you feel at the beginning.

Yes. I mean, it was exciting. People would think like, oh, you're leaving another country. Come on, you know. Yes, there are like great things. It's very exciting. But when you face the reality, like to navigate, as you said, like to learn how even how to go to a doctor, how to make an appointment, but you don't even know how to speak and you have to take the phone.. And so, and explain why you need an appointment and all of that is like very simple and very like daily, I think, and something that you, you, you will do like without problem in your country, but it takes a lot, a lot of effort on you.

Yeah.

A lot. Yeah.

And you need to build that infrastructure to be able to enjoy the fact that you live in it. Time, right? Like, and that's something that we need to say.

Yes. Yeah, definitely.

So what, what was it like?

How was your—

so you were there, you decided, you took classes, in-person classes. Um, and how was it for you back then to communicate? Because your surroundings was mostly English speaking, right?

Yeah. Yeah, thankfully it was a small town. It was a small town. Small town. And it was like a student town. So, uh, it was very like diverse and really, I think, easy to like commute, uh, right there. And I learned a lot. I took a lot of classes. I even have to take, uh, two classes with a tutor. Because I need to reinforce other things. Like, for example, this is funny, but I didn't know how to use the coins, you know? So in every coin here, it has a name that is very common to use, like the pennies, you know, the dimes. And like, yeah, it's like, what is a penny? So I don't know what is the value of that. And so I was using a lot of like cash at that moment, and so I need it for also for the bus. But if I wanted to go to a store, I didn't know how to use the checkout. So I took private classes and I asked my tutor, like, please explain me how, what the name of the coins, how I can like talk to the person in the checkout. And if they ask me like, is this, is that, just rehearse that. So I Well, I took like multiple classes just for how to manage. How to talk about money. Yeah.

Yeah.

And, and, and just to be prepared, like, ah, if she asked me about this, I know what this means. So I can give 2 pennies, 2 dimes, and so all the maths in English. And that helped me a lot. To like understand people, but what was very tricky for me, it was, I think, listening and speaking that I couldn't like, um, be like as I, as good as I wanted. And it was really hard for me because during that time, my husband has a lot of student events and activities. So it was a student students, with their family, their wives, and those events, they were crowded, and the music, I remember, and we have to go because you, you, you want to meet people, you want to also make a good impression, you know, you, you want to socialize. Yeah. And so sometimes I felt pressure because I didn't want to like let my husband down and, or let him alone and my kid when everyone was with their families. But I could go, but I couldn't speak. And I was like afraid, like about what about if someone asked me something I don't understand? They speak so fast and the music is too loud. And you know, it's And even in my own language, um, I'm very like maybe quiet in the beginning. So social skills was another thing that I had to like learn and to get better, but they don't teach that in English classes.

No. How would you say back then, like if we're looking at back then, what was it, 2019, something like that?

Or that was probably, yeah, between 2017 and 2019. Yeah. Okay.

So like the first 2 years, how would you describe the difference between Spanish Glenda and English Glenda in terms of personality, in terms of how you show up?

Well, I think in personality, I went backwards. Proud, I think, because I'm very like quiet, maybe serious in the beginning, but in my own country, it was like Glenda who worked in the office, who was arranging things, who everyone asked Glenda for help because she knew how to solve things, where Glenda was at the university studying psychology, so she was gonna become a psychologist, you know, all these titles. In my head, and then suddenly I was rehearsing this country, and I don't know who I am, and like, I'm so quiet, I'm so afraid, I'm, uh, uh, I'm sweating because I don't know how to speak. I'm sweating. Someone just get, come, come in and talk to me, and then I would like get frozen because, yeah. I don't know what to say, like, more than I'm good. Yeah, I'm from Costa Rica and that was the only answer I could say, like, great and fab.

And I'm trying to imagine, like, what it's like for someone who had this sense of always helping others, people come to her, all of a sudden being a person who doesn't want to be approached. Like, what does it do to your confidence and your self-worth at that time?

Yeah, that definitely, my, my esteem was, my self-esteem was like in the floor. It was in the floor because I, I felt like so dependent, uh, my husband and, and even for speaking to explain what I was saying in my country and to understand people and, and I feel, I felt very discouraged to just to get out of the house. And because I didn't want to, I didn't want to show my face. I didn't want to speak even in my neighborhood. I was just afraid. Everything was completely new. Learn how to cook, even how to cook my food in a new country. Even the houses, everything looks just very different. And so any sound that came out like in the house, it was like, what is that? You know, because I, I was not used to, so everything is different.

What is a moment where you felt like you started building your confidence and started gaining, you know, fluency and opportunities to speak? Tell me about the, the, the, the moment where things started to shift and how and why that happened.

Yeah, well, I think probably this was between the end of 2018 and '19. So then we moved to another, like, place. And we were at that moment Pennsylvania, and so we moved to another city in Pennsylvania for, because my husband, um, has had to do the internship and for, for the summer. So we moved to Pennsylvania in another place. And then, uh, I said, okay, I need to keep going with my English because, um, I need more. I'm not where I want to be. And so I took classes and work as summer classes in that university. And that again, like, helped me a lot to feel like a little confident. So because I wasn't at school, you know, taking the bus, being there, like, English class, but I was with other students. And so I was like, okay, back to who Glenda used to be before. Yeah. But in English. And I was taking academic English classes. They were really hard. And they gave me the tools to like, you know, how to speak in public. I remember that my confidence is starting to grow a little bit. When we, when I took these classes, because I wasn't going in person and I need, it was like an hour commuting to go to there. So it was a little, a little far away. And, and I met me other people. I'm the teachers. I had more, you know, let's say other type of teachers and, and we have a lot of homeworks to do right there in the university. So I think that helped me in some way to gain more confidence. And so one, for one of these classes, it was about speaking and listening. And our final homework, it was to make a presentation, but to make like engaging presentation. And we, we had like kind of like a jury. There were other people invited. And so, and yeah, I remember the fi— ah, now I remember the final assessment. It was a presentation, like in a big place. It was kind of like a theater, something like that. And so it was a panel, student panel. And so in front of, they inviting everybody, it was open for everybody. So we were preparing for this. Like, I don't know, for months, you know. And part of this, like, learning, it was to improve our prosody, something that I never heard before. And so, and the teacher gave us the task to watch a video on YouTube, and it was one of your videos. It was about rhythm, prosody. And I remember that day, uh, I was just really impressed and surprised, like, what is this? This is com— it wasn't a new language to me, but I could like feel like so related to that, like, oh my God, is that what I'm missing? And we have to watch one of your videos, but I keep scrolling and scrolling and watching more. And I remember also the videos about introverts. And so I was just fascinated about your work and it just called me like, this is what I need. This is speaking what I'm lacking of and this is what I want to also to achieve. And so one thing, you know, took me to another thing and after the classes, they were done, we finished everything and yeah, I earned, I got more confidence. And after that, like, huge presentation that were a lot of people right there.

How was it?

Great. I was terrified. I was just so nervous and, and, and, but everybody said that we did great and we didn't look like afraid. We looked so confident, but that was a huge thing for us, for all of us.

Yeah.

To speak about it. Amazing thing you did it.

Yeah. Yeah.

We, we did. And so, and, and it was, I love the, the experience, but that moment I thought that academic English for me, it was a lot at that moment. I thought, okay, yes, I've learned a lot, but I feel like I need to work in other things, keep working on my, in my speaking. Keep working like on my confidence and when I found you, uh, you were at that moment, um, with one of your courses and, and I remember that I didn't mind to go back to those classes, um, because it was a lot commuting. So it was an hour and I didn't know how to drive. And I didn't want to spend like an hour on the bus. And so I said, I need something maybe online. And because my husband was working, so again, it was annoying. So I need to find other ways to do it by myself. With your courses, it was perfect. It just fits perfectly for me. Like, okay, this is what I want to learn. And I showed my husband one of your videos and he was like, Is she American? She sounds like an American. So he was impressed by your English and I said, she's good and she's great. So, and it was not only your English, it was all everything about you that was very engaging and fascinating and it sparked what I needed, like the things nobody taught me in those other classes.

Yeah.

So maybe a little bit in the last classes, but it was, I needed more.

Yeah.

And then I just started to follow you. I started with your courses, but even though I gained confidence, I remember in your courses, I was no participant. Yeah.

Why? Why do you think that is?

Because I didn't, I didn't, again, I didn't want to. To speak and other people listen to me. And then, you know, and then they would, it would like watch me because I didn't know how to express myself. I didn't know what to say. And so I felt like I was not smart when I was speaking English and I was so afraid making mistakes. And so make a video, oh no, everyone is going to see my, all my, my mistakes and I don't want anybody to to receive that from me. And so I remember I went little by little, even in the conversation groups, I was very quiet. And I always said this, I was with my camera off and I was always, yes, so nervous. And when I was turning my camera on, I was just sweating like, like that and panic because I didn't know what to say or what, what to say, something that would sound really smart or like, oh, to understand people and, or how to have a conversation with someone smart talk, you know, it's, I didn't want it to go blank in front of people.

And I just want to say, because this was a few years ago, 5, 6 years ago, and And your reality now is so different. We're gonna get to it, but yeah, you know, knowing that not only that you're hosting groups and you live a full rich life with, in English, and you run a business in English, training and teaching in English.

Yeah.

Like I think it almost feels like it's two different people, but it's you.

Yeah.

That has gone from that experience to where you are today, which you are going to share with us in a minute. But it was important for me to say that right now, also you being able to talk about it so fluently and confidently now, because I'm sure that there are a lot of people who are listening to this saying, this is me. Yeah. I'm the one who's sweating. I'm the one who keeps their camera off. I'm the one who avoids, even though I know how to speak, I've done the work, I'm confident. But you're like, You know, this was your reality. Um, so tell us, how did you go from there to here? To today?

I think I was able to, to become who I am right now with all the support I found in your community. So, because even though I was quiet, yeah, I was in the work there behind. You were always encouraging us, like, to, you know, to speak, to open up, to, like, take the challenge, the challenge, like, making a video and making mistakes there. And so I went to, like, making a video and recording probably the video several times, of course. And And then little by little, I was like, okay, now in this new program, Beyond, I think everything is starting to like thrive even more because now the challenge about becoming a host and hosting a session and preparing a session and sharing with people, other students, your practice, that little by little were like improving my confidence. And so I started to do that even though I was afraid because I was so nervous every time. I was really, really nervous. Uh, I was, um, with self-doubt and, and I didn't know what to do, but I was there just showing up like, right here I am. I'm so afraid, but I'm trying to do this. And so, and every time it was less fear. So like, okay, this is not, this is easy. This is getting more comfortable with myself, you know, with my voice, with being there with people, encouraging people also, like, hey, don't worry. I don't, I'm like you, like, I'm afraid. So hosting helped me a lot. And I started to like pursue other opportunities out of, you know, here in my work. Um, and then I decide, okay, I'm going to start like working with dogs. And so I want to just interact more with people. And so my husband said, how are you going to interact more with people if you want to take care of dogs? And so I said, I don't know, but I wanted to do something like I can like be more independent because I worked before. In, um, at the stores in the first years. And then I forgot that part. And then I realized like, ah, I can do this work. And they even hired me when I didn't even speak really well English. And sometimes I didn't even understand instructions. And they hired me, like, what? And so, because I didn't like, um, trust myself. It didn't matter what, even people hire me, I feel like I just said, this is a mistake, right?

So they saw the value in you and the value that you can provide before you were able to see it in yourself.

Yes.

And you thought, and also like you thought that the fact that your English is not up to par or you had an idea about how English should be, you thought that the professional knowledge that you had Yeah. It doesn't matter. But, but what happened is proof that it's not true. Like when you have value to give and when you have knowledge, you can do it even if your English is not a C2 level English, you know?

Yes. Yeah, you can do it now because I have proof. I can tell people like you can, you can get a job right there. If you want, they're going to give you a job. I know. And because You have value in what you are doing, but I didn't want to do those type of jobs because I didn't feel—

Walk me through, because I think it's not super clear listening to this. I know what you're doing, but for people listening, so back then, what was the job you were working at? Store, like the—

Yeah, I was working like a clothing store. Clothing store. So it was, yeah, I was like Folding clothes, putting everything in stacks, you know, being there, tidying things up in the store, you know, but I was again so afraid if a customer would come in and ask me any questions because it was really hard. So I worked in two different stores, the clothing and the other one was with crafts. And the crafts, it was even more challenging because there is like a big vocabulary, you know, a wide range of vocabulary about crafts. Like, and sometimes I have to use my phone to communicate with them because I didn't know what they were looking for.

And so— And people come with a lot of questions. It's not like clothes, do you have this size, that size? Here's like, how do I use this? Or what do you think we can do with that?

Right? Yeah. Yeah. And all the time they were like, let me just find my boss. And so he can help you. I was always trying to hide when they opened, when the door, um, the business opened because I didn't want people to like come right to me and ask me questions. So I, I did that for say 6 months, uh, half time working both in both stores. And it was a great experience just to prove that I could get a job if I wanted. But I didn't want to do that. I, it helped me, but really deep in myself, I, uh, I was not happy doing that. Yeah. And so I, I didn't feel like happy and, and I said, okay, I'm gonna keep working on my English. And then we like, um, I was, I started to learn like, um, how to drive. That was during the pandemic. And then the pandemic started and like everything was shut down, no driving classes. And so I was like just with you practicing and I was desperate to find myself, desperate to feel like independent, desperate to like, you know, empower in some way. And I knew I didn't want to go back. To a schedule working. And I said, what about if I do my own business? And so, and so, and because I like dogs, I said, I'm gonna give it a try. And then, because I just thought if I could just find something that makes me feel fulfilled and happy, I think this is gonna be enough because I wanted to do other things, but it didn't work because there were other people also who didn't had knee, and so they were criticizing my English, and so they discouraged me to do that. So that was good in some way because it took me where I am right now. And, and, and I remember I started with this with the dogs and I I found that I was not spending a lot of time also with the dogs. I was spending a lot of time speaking with the customers. And so they didn't speak Spanish. I was like, oh. And so in some way that pushed me to be more like outgoing, more confident, you know, to show my, my best, like listen to them. And asking the right questions, and then they would start speaking and speaking. So I was like, oh, okay, now I feel like I was back again. And that was, we are talking about like probably 4 years later. Yeah. Wow.

Yeah.

And then everything is starting to grow. Business, the customers were growing and growing, and then I found myself really busy. Um, and just to like, um, to summarize everything, um, I decided like, okay, this thing about the dogs is fun, but I want to do something else. I really like to be my, my, my own boss, you know, manage schedules, uh, everything, talking, texting with people, writing to people. It took me like took a while just to like find the right words to communicate with them. And so just for one thing, I started to grow other things, but in the meantime, I was practicing my English in the community and trying to gain the confidence to speak and to speak on my feet. That was another thing, and to be confident there and rehearsing things and doing teach and learn about dogs. And so just to like gain, have all the tools to like rehearse and use them in my real life. And then I said, I want to do dog training. So I don't know any, I didn't know anything about it. And so I just started to like everything from scratch and I started telling people, sometimes telling people that I was interested in that and They were like, because we have a good relationship, they trust, they trust me. And so I started working with the dogs. I started taking other classes with my own dog and learning, studying everything. And so, and this is how right now I'm doing. And I'm really happy that everything worked out so well because this is something that I can keep doing now with, even with my daughter. Wow. And, and so I think sometimes I feel like, okay, this is it. This is what is happening right now to be at home with her and to feel like also independent. And now the story is different because now I can speak better. I can take the phone and I can write messages. I can drive. And if someone comes here, I'm not getting afraid to speak with them like, oh, what I'm going to ask? Because before, I remember I wrote down all the questions I need to do just to practice and practice. It was super hard. Now I don't even think about that. It's like, ah, okay, I'm going to call them and I'm going to talk with them and I'm going to see what they want. I'm going to explain what I do. And so over all this time, I just developed like my, my method and why I like, how I like to do it and, and do it little by little. So now it's different having a baby, but, um, it allows me to have a life, be independent and be with my baby.

So you've, you've really created your dream life, one that you never thought would be possible where you are your own boss, you create your own schedule, you have clients that respect you and want to work with you, you make money independently, right? You are communicating and providing value. Going back to the beginning, it was like, who was, you know, Glenda in Costa Rica? And you're like, people asked for help. I was, you know, the person people go to. And here you are.

Yeah.

Being that person now, but expanded, right? Not changed, not limited, just expanded. And, um, and I think this transformation is like I told you before we started this call, is like one of the most beautiful, inspiring transformations that I've seen. And I wanna ask you, what do you think are the one or two key characteristics or qualities that you have that got you to where you are today?

It was courage, probably. Yeah. Courage, it was one of the things that it helped me to like step, you know, and, and, and dare to do things. And so I'm, even though I was really afraid, literally like nervous, my voice would be shaking, you know, and because I remember, yeah, I remember every time I went from the camera, I was just shaking or talking with people. It was just, my voice, it was always shaking, but this value that just to show up. To be there and be brave and have courage to do it, uh, is something that I started to like, okay, yeah, to embrace and just, you know, it's like you, you, you cover your eyes and then you jump, something like that. And just trust. Yeah, and trust. And just trust. It's just, you're gonna figure it out. So that is a key to figure it out. And that was something that it took me time to understand that I didn't need to know everything and I didn't need to be ready because for everything in my life, it was like, I'm not ready. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to come on and do it. So how are you going to like, um, like host a conversation group? How are you going to host a book club? I didn't know how to do it. I'm going to— and so I, and then I, I, I just, I fought this like battle in my mind, like to those negative thoughts thinking like, you know, Hadar, do you know what, like you have no idea what you're doing and they're going to notice, uh, they're going to see that you have no clue what are you doing. And so I was always fighting But I'm not like, I know I don't know, but I'm gonna see this. You're gonna do it anyway. I'm gonna do it anyway. And so that was my approach with everything. And so you and also my husband, they were there and my side, like always like, you can do it, you can do it. Like, no, I can't. And so you can do it. And so always like helping me to how to figure out. And so then I learned that. Uh, this was a skill, like, you could figure out things, and so, by your own. And, and, and I know if I don't do it, I don't have proof. And so, when, once you have the proof that you were able, I don't know, to, to speak to that person, and to explain things, if you were able to do it once, that is proof enough. And so that, that is something that I will try not to remember. Like, I have the proof. I have to make this proof just to tell myself I can do it. And so this is, this is now my approach. Even now as a new mom, it's, it's the same thing. Like, other things I had to learn to do and, and you know, you don't, now with a baby, it's hard to plan. And so everything I just learned is out in the, in the blog. And even with English. And so if I wouldn't have started the business, for example, uh, I would like have friends, like maybe not to communicate with people, maybe to text and to No other, like, places I can go now with the dogs. Now I'm doing the competitions. And so, and the world is with a lot of opportunities that, uh, it, they are there, but you have to just be brave to take it because otherwise you're gonna stay there in the corner.

Yeah, 1 billion percent. And I want to acknowledge the mindset that maybe you are like, this is me, this is what I, But this is a very healthy mindset of looking at the things that you are able to do, even if it's not perfect, as proof you can do it. And a lot of times people who do things and it's not perfect, they use it as proof that they can't do it. And that takes you into two different directions, right? Like, if you use that as proof, it was not great, I was sweating, I got stuck, I couldn't understand, okay, proof that I can't do it. And then it ends up being, you know, staying stuck, staying limited, having the life that you want versus I can do it. This is, you know, this is hope and you keep on doing it. And I know, you know, I've known you for years and I know that you've had a lot of situations where you did get, like you shared, like criticism or negative responses from the surroundings and you didn't let that stop you. So I think this is incredible.

Yeah. And remember, I'm perfectionist, so.

A recovering one though.

Yeah. In rehab. Yeah, in rehab, right?

Um, you know, I got to, I'm going to tell you that I got to meet Glenda twice, once in 2022 and once in 2024 in two meetups, one in New York and one in Barcelona. And I remember when you told the story, I remembered the the message that I got from you after the 2022 New York meetup and how you shared that it was the first time that you traveled on your own, that you had to do everything on your own. And even though the meetup was great and amazing to meet the community, for you, the biggest win was to proving to yourself that you can travel on your own, that you can be in charge of it, that you don't have to be dependent. Yeah. I thought that it was such a beautiful way to look at that experience and the courage that it must have given you to do more and bigger things later on.

Yeah, definitely. All those experiences helped me to like do that. I remember that for the first meetup and had the crazy idea to go and, and then my husband, he didn't hesitate and he said, go.

I love your husband. He's so supportive.

Like, I don't know if I can do it. He's like, you can do it. And so it was like, okay, if you say so. So this is just crazy. And so it was my first time traveling alone. And so even though I had more confidence, I knew how to speak everything. I, everything I'm, every time I travel, my husband is in charge. So I don't like do all this like mapping things or like where we have to get, how to get this, nothing, because I just trust him and just follow because I like it too. I also like it.

So yeah, of course, if you have to do it, then you will do it. You won't jump.

You have to do the work. Yeah, it's gonna work. And so I remember just to go quickly. And so I remember in the airplane, when we like took off, I was, I was just crying because I was, for me, it meant a lot. It was like, oh my God, I'm here alone. I really, I was so happy there. I was writing down a letter for you. I remember. And so I was just in tears and I got to the airport. I didn't have problems how to take the taxi, tell the taxi, the driver how to get my hotel. And once I check in on the hotel and then I asked him if I could like leave my luggage there, I just went out and I remember I was walking there in Manhattan. I think it was in New York. It was in this huge, like surrounded by huge buildings. And I felt like so fulfilled, really fulfilled. Like, this is my dream.

I can do it.

It was like, Yeah, it was like those happy ends in a movie, like, like you had, that is how I felt. Major walking there and it was just a huge accomplishment for me. I was so happy. I could like just be, I remember it was just with a big smile walking there. Wow. So, so happy. Just the fact that I got there by myself. I did everything. My husband didn't do anything. He didn't book the flight. He didn't book the hotel, anything. And so I was just really happy because it wasn't only traveling by my own. It was what it meant for me in this new country and for me, for my English. Like, finally, like, I'm I'm able, I'm able to do all these things by myself. So I saw more opportunities for me and it was an amazing experience. And I think the, you know, the cherry on the cake, it was meeting you and being there with everyone in the community and meeting them in person. It was like, it's my award.

Glenda, wow. Thank you. First of all, thank you so much for sharing your story. Story and your, your, the lowest moments, but also the highest moments of your life as an immigrant, but also as someone who is making English her home as well. You know, we immigrate to a new country, but we also immigrate to a new language, right? And we need to make that our home. And I'm so pleased to say that you were able to do that., and now it feels like it is, it is an expansion of you. And I, I loved seeing every minute of it. What would you say to someone who is where you were 5 years ago, 7 years ago? Someone who is afraid of their own voice, who sweats when they, who's afraid of not understanding and therefore they're hiding.

What would you say to someone who's hiding because they're afraid? Well, I would say first, I think surround yourself with the right people, you know. I think the community makes a lot of difference and it had a huge impact on me. So I didn't have friends in this country. I didn't, I had only my, my husband and my dog and I met good people, you know, but When I was in the community with you, I met other people like, it was, they were like me. So they were like trying to find a way to improve their English. They would have the same struggles, like communicate in other language, also living in another country. So when you are surrounded by the right people who makes you feel like, um, let's say, supported and also loved. And they see you with love, you know, with compassion, like, yes, I know what you're doing. I know why you are right now, but there's the same people, like, they are walking the same path that you are. They gonna take you and they gonna encourage you, like, and they gonna cheer you up with every step. So I think the community has a great, amazing value and a huge impact. And all of us, we need, we need people with us, even if we are shy, we need people, even if you are introvert, you need, you like to be with people. So, uh, I think community and I would say also like, yeah, again, brave, brave, being brave is, It's something that you have to like embrace it and you can start with just a small thing. Like, I don't know, speaking one-on-one with a new person or maybe turning on your camera or maybe like start that crazy idea about to run a business, but you have to try it because it could work, but if it doesn't work, you don't, you're never gonna know. So I think, yeah, I think I would say that would be the key. And, and lastly, I would say just trust the practice, but do it consistently. So that is something that even with dogs, I've learned that they don't know how to do it. They have never learned how to do that, but if you keep repeating and repeating and repeating, it's gonna get, get in their brains and even in your brain. And one day we're gonna just do it. Like, I think that is, is something that it helped me a lot. So even though you feel like I'm doing nothing, I'm just here like answering questions. So I'm just here like repeating myself. That is gonna pay off.

Yeah.

And don't, don't move on until you nail it, until you get it.

Because it's just gonna create more frustration. I love every single piece of advice that you shared here, and I'm behind it 1000%. Glenda, thank you so, so much for sharing your story and your insights, and you're so generous, not just here today, but also inside our community. You've done so much for other people. You've inspired other people. You got them to practice. You instilled courage in them. Simply by being courageous, but also for saying the words that mattered at the time that it mattered. So thank you so much. I love you very much and I love your family and I hope to see you soon again, uh, very soon. And, um, that's it. Thank you.

Thank you so much, uh, it was an honor to be here and thank you so much for giving me this space to share my story and thank you because You were one of those people who like was right there by my side. And so thankfully, uh, I found you. And so thank you for like helping me to get out of my shell.

We are all winning from that. Thank you so much, Glenda.

Thank you.