71. How to Reach a Breakthrough in English Without Learning Anything New

Hey everyone, it's Hadar. Thank you so much for tuning in. This is the In Fluency podcast and today we're going to talk about mindset and how the way you think about your English can truly affect your fluency. Hey everyone, thank you so much for tuning in for another episode of the Influency podcast. Today we are going to talk about mindset as you've heard, because I think that when it comes to fluency, I mean, of course there are the elements of grammar, vocabulary, practice and all of that. And then there is the element of confidence. And a lot of times we think, okay, confidence is just more practice. Confidence is getting out of my comfort zone and all of that. But confidence is also the result of what's going on inside your head and how you think about yourself as a speaker of English as a second language. A lot of times we have all these negative thoughts that we just consider to be a reality. Thinking about, oh, I can't learn English or my English sucks or being a non native speaker sucks, right? And we just think that, yeah, we're, you know, it's reality, but we don't realize that it really hindering our progress and our confidence in English. This episode is a part of a recording, a live recording of the live English show. The live English show is a show where I go live every Thursday at 12pm EST on my YouTube channel and Facebook page. And if you don't know about it, then come on over and subscribe to my YouTube channel so you'll be notified when that happens.

So first of all, it is a live show.

The audio is going to be a little different and sometimes I interact with the audience. So you might be hearing me commenting on what people are saying. But we really had an interesting discussion there and the reason why I usually don't share it here on the podcast, the Live English show, but the reason why I wanted to do it is because many people have commented or sent me a message telling me that this has been such a game changer for them and such a profound episode. Everything that was discussed there and I decided to share it here. In particular, I received a comment from a woman on Instagram and she says, and I'm paraphrasing here a little bit, Dear Hadar, your show today was beyond amazing. I really needed to hear that teaching on Mindset because I feel stuck and frustrated. And then she told me her story how she had a horrible experience with a certain teacher that made her feel like she is not enough. Always asking her to strive for perfection and Then she summarizes it with. With your teaching tonight, I feel liberated. And I believe my breakthrough is finally here. Gosh, I get chills just reading that. Thank you for being an angel. Well, thank you, my dear. And because of that, I figured that maybe more people need to hear that, and I decided to share it here. And of course, if you have anything you want to share with me or to say, you can come on over to Instagram. You can find me at Hadar Accentsway and send me a dm. Tell me what you think. Okay, so let's not wait any longer and listen to the episode.

So today we're going to talk about mindset. And, you know, if you've been following me, then maybe, you know, one of the reasons why you're following me is because I. You want to improve your English. So one of the things that we do when we want to improve English is we consume content, right? Like you go and search. Luckily, the Internet is filled with exciting content and so much of it is free that you can truly transform your life and learning, whether it's English or, you know, anything else. And you can actually do so much simply by, you know, using the Internet. You can change your life with a Google search bar. At the same time, if you've been following me, then you've been following probably a lot of teachers and resources out there that you believe will help you improve your English. And knowing my students and knowing my community, it seems like we're all doing similar things to improve. I mean, we have one strategy or one tactic, and it's always interesting when we learn something new and we apply it and it's great and it gets us results. But it's all alongside the same idea and same techniques and methods. Even the things that I teach, you know, a lot of them are either things that you have done before. Just recently, I received a comment from one of my followers on a video that, like my third video or fourth video. And he said that some of the tips that I've shared, he's been doing on his own. He came up with it and. Or she. Actually, I don't know if it's a he or she. So if you're watching, I'm sorry, I couldn't tell because it wasn't specific, but they were really excited about the fact that they've been using these strategies on their own. So, like, you know, we all know that there is the shadowing and imitation exercises and collecting words, and I introduced you to my vocabulary implementation technique. And if you don't know it, then look it up. Just search for a vocabulary on my channel and you'll get that. You'll find the video where I teach this very interesting technique about improving your vocabulary using pronunciation confidence or building pronunciation confidence. However, how many of you here and just put yes in the comments. How many of you here feel that even though they have been putting in the work, using all these strategies, doing, you know, learning grammar, learning pronunciation, drilling sounds, how many of you still feel like there is a long way to go and you still feel like you haven't reached that massive breakthrough and you're still unhappy with where you're at when it comes to your English journey? So just simply put yes in the comments. Yeah, so we're. Erica says yes, Mayar says yes. Right. So first of all, you can see that you're not on. You're not alone. A lot of times we feel that it's just us. You know, you may feel like I'm just not getting it or I'm simply, I don't get English. I don't have enough practice. It's hard for me. Right. Like, what are those things that you say to yourself? Why is it so challenging if you can think about why that is? Right. Like, do you have any specific ideas why it's still hard for you? I don't have enough time to practice. I don't have any. Anyone to speak to.

Right.

So now that you've said yes, you still feel that you haven't reached that breakthrough that you're looking for? Let me know in the comments. What do you believe is the reason for you to not having reached that breakthrough just yet? What is missing? Okay, so I'm interested to see and hear. Okay. I don't know. What else should I do? Okay. Jan says my mind is a black hole and words don't stick to it. Right. My mind is a black hole and words just don't stick to it. Do you resonate with that? If so, yes. Say yes. Okay. Sometimes I feel ashamed to talk wrong to natives in the uk. So I'm assuming you live in the UK and as a non native speaker, you have to talk to native speakers all of the time and you feel that you might be saying something wrong. Right. But I'm asking something different. So I want you to keep those things right. Like, but I'm asking really, what is preventing you? Maybe something technical or maybe something that you're missing, you're lacking, that is preventing you from advancing. Great. I think it just takes time. I love it because it does. It absolutely does. And I love this answer because there is some sort of compassion into it and understanding of the process. So wherever you are at, please remember this. Because, Su Yung Lee, you are absolutely right. No matter what you're doing, it takes time. However, even in the process, where you're still learning and when you're still like, trying to improve, question is, how do you feel about the process? Because if you constantly feel like it's not yet enough and you're not where you need to be, it absolutely affects your feelings, your performance, and of course, your fluency. Okay, so Mabuba says, lack of perfect content and serious practicing partner. So, yes, I know that this is definitely something that people feel that, like, they don't have the right resources to learn with. Even though I'm just going to say that you can find online. And as an online creator, an entrepreneur, I know this to be a fact. Everything you pay for, you can find online for free. So it's not that it's lacking. Maybe you don't know how to access it because there is a lot of extremely valuable content from all different teachers online. And so much of it is free that technically speaking, if you had the time and if you had the energy of, like, sorting through all of this stuff, you could create your ideal program just using free stuff. So what else? Noel is saying, I speak English every day with my husband, but I always feel stuck.

Okay?

So that is the experience. So that is the frustration. And what do you think, Noel? What do you think is preventing you from actually reaching that breakthrough? So a lot of you talk about words, the lack of vocabulary, which, by the way, I do have a very effective technique for you, and a special workbook that planner, Vocabulary Planner that I created. If you Google Vocabulary Planner on my channel. Again, speaking about content that is available for you for free. So for those of you, just as a side note, for those of you who struggle with vocabulary, you can definitely benefit from that. But here's what I'm trying to get at. All of you are talking about practical things. So, for example, okay, I can't remember words. I get stuck. Sometimes you discover. Describe to me the results, right? Like I'm afraid to speak. However, one component that is truly lacking or missing in any English training or most English training programs, schools, institutions, is not just what you need to do, okay? Because that is the easy part. I know you're going to say that I'm crazy right now, but finding conversation partners, finding the right content, resources, all of that stuff, that's the easy part. Practicing all of these Things. That's the easy part. The hard part is putting it all together and showing up so something. And agree with me again. Put yes in the comments. If you agree that there is a big gap between the English that you know and the English that you speak. Right. Put why or yes in the comments. Like a big gap between your knowledge of English, how you understand English, in the English that comes out of your math. Yeah. So what is it? What happens there between what's in here? Right? Like, how come we can't turn this into words that come out or express language? Why is it so difficult for us? Why is there such a huge difference? It's as if I always say that, like spoken English and perceived English or English that you read and write are two different languages. Right? Why is that? If we are speaking about the same language and if in your native language, that's not even an issue, right? In your native language, it's just. I mean, there is no difference between the language I perceive and the language that I speak. But why is it that in English there is such a big gap? And this leads me. Yes, yes, yes.

Okay.

I don't speak English fluently because it's unfamiliar. I love that. Right? So there is a very big point.

Okay.

Yeah. Suyung Lee is totally on point today. Because it's unfamiliar. It's unfamiliar in many different levels. Okay. What's first? Unfamiliar is the language itself. We are so used to speaking our first language that if we have to replicate that, saying something, responding to something, we have history of it, we have a past. And like we have it in our system, that idea of speaking about something confidently, right? Whether it's yourself, introducing yourself, whether it's about the weather or about sports, or about politics, or about, you know, the most complicated thing ever, and your, you know, deepest fears and feelings, it doesn't matter because you have the experience of talking about it. So it's not even a familiar versus unfamiliar language. In your native language, you have experience speaking about several things. And every time you get into a situation that is new to you, it is not really new to you because you have something to refer back to, your brain refers back to. And you can use that knowledge. You can use that experience, or at least you come into the conversation with a confidence that it requires because you feel that you are swimming in this familiar ocean. And yet in English, it's not as familiar. It's not as familiar because you don't have the experience since you were born, right? You don't have vast experience for most of you, not for all of you, but for most of you, you don't have that vast experience speaking about so many things, different topics, right? Like, so when you come into a situation in your native language, you're not afraid that you're going to end up. You're going to be asked about something that you haven't talked about in a while. Because probably everything that you're going to say you have talked about in the past. But here in English, all of a sudden you're like, I don't know, what if they asked me about xyz? And I've never spoken about why, Right? So I would feel pretty confident speaking about X. But Y is going to be Y, right? It's just going to be, why? Why do I need to talk about it if I have no idea? I've never spoken about this before. So you are in this unfamiliar land now. I'm just going to say that this experience is not something that is foreign to us. This experience of stepping into an unfamiliar ground and as a result, feeling like you're not enough, feeling like you are not performing well. You can see it in many different areas in your life, probably not related to language. But I'm just trying to show you that there are some patterns which will get me to where I want to get to. As we talk about mindset and how you think about your English, not what you think about your English, but how you think about your English.

Okay?

So think about a situation. Let's say you walk into a room, you just got a new job, and it's pretty demanding. And think that like maybe in your native language. So English is not a part of it, right? So let's try to take that out of the equation. And you walk into a new room and there is like the first day that you are on your new position, there is like a really important meeting with the CEO, all the executives, and you need to introduce yourself, right? How would you feel walking into that new, unfamiliar ground? Probably insecure, probably you're going to have fears around that, right? Even when you do something that is, let's say, you know, you're trapped, you're taking new path. I mean, for me, I'm a good driver and I love driving. But I have these patterns where, you know, I have. I know the roads and I love driving the roads that I'm familiar with. But when I take a detour because there's traffic, because there's always traffic here, I'm like, I'm at the edge of my seat because I'm Unfamiliar with this new road. Okay, I know how to drive, I know how to do it, but I'm a little less comfortable because I don't know what's going to be ahead of me. I don't know if there is, like, a curve here that I'm not familiar with. And I'm a little less. I'm a bit more nervous because I'm unfamiliar with this new road. And I don't know, like, I always have this fear no matter where I'm driving. And it's totally new, especially when it's not like an urban area. I'm like, maybe I'm not in the right place, even though Waze says I am. You know, so there are, like, all these things that come up for you when you are on unfamiliar ground. Why am I saying all this is because I want you to understand that this is not something that is related to English. It's something that is related to our human existence, right? Being in an unfamiliar ground, it affects our confidence, how comfortable we feel, and our sense of security. And we become a lot more judgmental because we feel that while it is unfamiliar for us, other people who are familiar with that are going to be doing so much better than us, right? So if someone else were to be driving on that road and they'd be like, driving fast with confidence, I'd be like, you know, they're probably think that I'm a slow driver, and they're probably think this or that. Or you walk into that meeting, right? Like, if we go. Go back to that example, you walk into that meeting and all of them are laughing and joking, all your new colleagues, and they have their internal jokes and you're like, you know, they're going to think I'm weird and awkward and an introvert, whereas it's just for them, it's familiar. You know, they had that uncomfortable feeling when they just joined, but now it's not there because they're. They've been there before. They've been in that situation again and again and again, and now it has become familiar to them. But for you, it seems like that is the ideal. That's how people behave who are not me, and that's how I behave. Because you are only seeing it through your own lens. But you forget that it's just an experience of you getting comfortable in a new place, in a new ground, in an unfamiliar ground. And for you to be able to get that confidence, like those people making those jokes, you've got to get familiar with it. And sometimes it's just A matter of time. And sometimes it's just a matter of doing it again and again and again, like driving that road. So if we can understand that this is something that happens to us in every aspect of our lives, it makes sense that it happens to us in English as well. And if you understand that, then maybe it is not so much about the language, right? Going back to the black hole, right? Like words that just don't stick to me. Oh, blaming myself. I'm not like I'm not genetically designed to learn a second language, right? Has that ever crossed your mind before? Right. Like it's just my brain is wired differently. I just don't get those things. So you start telling yourself those stories where in fact all it is is that you being in unfamiliar ground. And here's the thing, because if it were like that road that you take and you drive it again and again and again, they get comfortable, it would have been a lot easier. But that's not the case. Because when it comes to language, there are implications as humans if our communication is compromised, or at least if we feel that it's compromised. So unlike driving in or like being quiet in a meeting or driving a little slower because you don't feel confident when it comes to communication, right? That's where there is more at stake. So that's where your monkey brain gets into the picture and starts interfering with your performance. So the first stage is making the unfamiliar familiar, right? Like we need to make the unfamiliar familiar to be able to improve and succeed. So it's not so much about learning more grammar or drilling those words. It's about having used it several times, right? That word, that grammar, structure, speaking in general, having used it enough times until you feel like you can use it confidently. The moment we feel like we are not enough and the moment we feel that we are communication is compromised, this is where we start getting in our own way. Why? Because we start having ideas about our English and about who we are as non native speakers or speakers of English as second language or just speakers of English with no titles whatsoever. Okay, so my question is what are the opinions when you get into this unfamiliar ground expecting you to perform perfectly and not having that compassion, right. That we heard. It's like it just takes time, right? Like not at having that compassionate sense towards yourself and towards your English. And let's say that you are disappointed from how you are speaking and performing and still getting stuck. What are the thoughts that go through your head? What is it that you're saying about your English? Let's Start with that. I'm not even talking about what is the belief that is behind it. And if you've been with me for a while, we've probably done it several times, so I'm going to go into it a little bit later. But right now I want you to say to me what you think and be honest, right? Like, don't try to say something that you know that I want you to say. What are the thoughts that go through your head about your English?

So let me, let me know in the comments.

I mean, it's going to take a little time until you all type it in and until I see it because there is like a 20, 30 second delay. Okay, so Zarna is saying too weak. Another, like, also weak. Weird. Erica says weird, but she's joking, but not really joking. I cannot do it. And I'm incompetent. Okay, that's a harsh word, right? I'm incompetent. Do you guys know what that is? Incompetent, Incapable. Like, I don't have the skills needed. Is dated and needs to be updated. Okay? Saba is saying it's outdated and I need to update it, right? Like old school, maybe. What else? Okay, I think that it's not good yet. Not clear. It's not good enough to communicate effectively. Confused, unnatural. I speak like a robot. I feel so low. I am shy. Right? I'm gonna keep up, like, keep saying those things because I think that you need to. Maybe I'm an introvert. Maybe that's why. Maybe it's not just about the English. I mean, possibly it has something to do with like, how you bring yourself to the conversation. Being an introvert, right? You're not good enough, Christian. Yeah, I think that's the source of all things. I just saw an incredible, a really good talk. I'm gonna link to it later in the description about being good enough. That it's. It all comes down to that. So I'm gonna come back to it. Afraid to make mistakes. My accent, my English sounds ugly, right? You know, I'm frustrated. I got a big accent, right? All of those things that go through your head. Now here's a question to all of you who wrote something or all of you who didn't write anything, but you, like, thought about that thought. Here's the question. If you don't value your English, why do you expect other people to value it? If you don't value and appreciate your English, why do you think other people will? Whatever happens in the world, how people respond to you is a reflection Of. Of your thoughts and your behavior. Because your thoughts affect your feelings and affect your. How you operate in the world, the things you say, the confidence you have. We have already agreed that your English is a lot better than the English that comes out of your mouth. So what is it that gets in the way? Except for practice? Because, yes, you gotta have enough practice to, like, to be able to translate or to move whatever is here to here, right? And to make speaking familiar. So you already have a lot of familiarity with listening to English, but you don't have enough speaking familiarity. This is why I'm all about building pronunciation confidence, to catch up with your knowledge of English. That's my method, that's my technique, and that's what I use to teach pronunciation, grammar, vocabulary, and of course, to boost your confidence. But what I'm trying to say here is that a part of speaking, something gets in the way. What is that something? And what is it if it's not your ideas about who you are and your English? Because how will it be possible for you to sound beautiful if all you hear is ugly sounds? How do you expect yourself to be fluent if all you notice is the pauses and the moments where you get stuck? If your brain doesn't even detect or acknowledge all the rest, all the fluency, all the fluidity in your speech, because that is sometimes a part of your speech, yet you are more inclined to remember those moments where you got stuck. How would you learn more words if every time you start learning, your brain tells you, big hole, black hole, black hole, not gonna stick, not gonna stick, not gonna stick. How will it stick? Your brain is a lot more powerful than you think. And your brain will believe everything you tell it. And if you keep telling your brain that you are a black hole and words don't stick to your brain, your brain will be like, oh, a word. No, I'm a black hole. Nothing sticks here, right? It's gonna play tricks on you. And going back to, if you don't appreciate your journey and your progress and the things that work for you, if all you focus is all on the things that don't work for you, why do you expect others to do it? And then you feel not enough. And then you feel judged. Because as you notice all of those things, first of all, you project it onto other people's thoughts and you think that they notice all those things, which is usually not the case, but when it is, when it is, because people can be judgmental, and it is like with all the things that I'm saying, and you Know, own up and your own, like, you know, speaking with an accent is amazing and beautiful. Like, just be clear. All of that is great. But yes, we know we people have biases. And yes, we know it's harder for people with who don't sound like the group in power. We know all that. But the thing is that if you constantly are in a state of anxiety and fear about all of those things that you do not love about your language, people are going to notice that as well, and they're going to hear it and they're going to feel it too. So if you want to reflect to other people that your English is valuable, you have to start believing that it is valuable. And now I'm going to take you a little deeper than that. Even, even more. Yeah. And I keep on looking at the comments here and I hear all those words that you're telling yourself. And I'm here to say this is the time where you start looking at all those voices and ideas and thoughts about your English and you start challenging them. Because if you don't, you will stay stuck. A breakthrough happens when things are done differently. A breakthrough happens when you have this internal permission to dare and you dare. It's not going to happen if you keep saying to yourself that your English is, your English sucks or it's not good enough. Now all of these things that you say to yourself, why not? Why are you saying, where do they come from? So going back to this idea of, you know, like entering a meeting where you feel all kind of like awkward and stiff and everyone else are like, you know, giving is like giving high fives and joking and that experience, when it happens to you in English, what happens there? Like, what happens when you start becoming judgmental? Why is this judgment coming? Why do you feel to begin with that something is not happening? Why. Why is it such a big deal when you get stuck or when you're, when you don't have enough words, when your vocabulary is lacking, right? What is the fear? What's going to happen?

Great.

Louisa says, because I compare myself to others. Okay, right. So you compare yourself to others and then what? Let's say you don't have the same. Let's begin with the fact that if you, you're a non native speaker and you compare yourself with a native speaker, that's just not a fair comparison. Because there is like nothing to compare here. It's like apples and oranges. How can you compare? And how can you possibly be at the same level? No matter how great your English is, it is not the same. And again I'm speaking, you hear me? I mean like English is not an obstacle in my life. In fact, it's like an engine. I love English. At the same time, it's not my native language. There are still obstacles there. And I don't feel in English as I feel, I feel differently. I kind of invented a new personality which I love, you know, in English. It's not exactly my personality in Hebrew, but at the same time it is not, you know, like the English hadar is not the Hebrew hadar. Okay, so this is why I'm saying, like you compare yourself to others. And then what? And then what? What is the fear? What is the fear? I'm afraid. Okay, so Bandana is saying I'm afraid of messing up, right? Why? That's why I'm asking what's going to happen if you mess up? What's going to happen if you mess up or make mistakes? I forget the words. What is that biggest fear? What's going to happen if you don't sound exactly like you sound in your native language? Does that make you any different? Does that make you a different person? A lesser person, A bad human being? Of course not. Right? So it doesn't change you internally. If you speak with mistakes, what does it change? What is the fear? What is the underlying fear that exists when it comes to not communicating in English the way we think we should communicate in English? Right. Feel embarrassing. I feel embarrassed. I'm afraid to make mistakes. Gladys. Why? What's going to happen if you make mistakes? What is that fear? That's what I'm trying to say, right? I feel ashamed. And that. Okay, Lee, referring to the black holes. This is a really good point. I feel ashamed. Right? I feel ashamed. And that makes. That creates like this, you know, you freeze and then this is like yet another black hole. And you're like, how do I even get out of this loop?

Gosh.

But ashamed of what? What's going to happen when they realize that you are stuck? Can communicate with people enough. And then what? As you can see, I'm trying to lead to something. Okay. Being taken as a fraud, right? People are going to think that you're a fraud. Yes. Jan. Not Jen. Jen, Like I said before, Yeon, right? Like people are going to think that you're a fraud. And then what? Okay, Feels like, oh, I love that. Feel like there is no way out. Look at that imagery. Like, look at where English takes us. Like a dead end, dark holes, all those visual like imageries that come up to you. Sweaty Palms, breath, right? Can you relate to all of those things? When you need to talk, maybe you have a job interview tomorrow and it's in English and you're like, wait a minute, right? Like all of these things, they're real, right? Like it's not made up, it's not in your head. And it's like because you go, you walk into unfamiliar ground. We already know that. But as I'm saying, what are you afraid? Okay. People won't. I love that. I mean, I don't love that. I appreciate that. I don't love that. Because it's like that negative fear. People won't want to communicate with me anymore, right? I'm not going to talk to her anymore. Like, I can't understand her. And like, so we have that voice saying, oh, they're not going to want to talk to me anymore, I'm not going to get that job. They're going to think I'm this and that. So all of the things that you've mentioned here, right? Like, going to be taking as a fraud. I'm going to feel ashamed. People are not going to want to communicate with me. Who is it about? Because I asked you. Does it change when you communicate in a compromised way, right? Like not the way you would want to communicate? Does it affect your being? Does it affect your kindness? Does it affect your family, your friends, your goals, who you are? Does it change your values? I hope you're saying no. Yet there is this fear and there is this like, you know, hatred towards your English. I mean, you probably love English, but you hate your English, right? Why is that? Because all of a sudden it's about other people. So it's no longer you. Yet all of a sudden you say all these negative, harsh things to yourself, about yourself, about something that you're working hard towards. You feel like you're in a dead end. Anxiety, fear, stress, all of those things. You put yourself in a situation that will not help you thrive. Why not? Because it truly has an impact on who you are as a human being. But because you are all of a sudden taking all of those ideas about that gap and about how it's not enough and you project it onto other people. And all of a sudden you're seeing yourself through the lens of other people and other eyes and all of a sudden that becomes the essence of your life when it comes to English, not your life, but I mean, we do live our lives constantly being concerned about how people see us. Yet as I said, does how they see us change who you are? Do Your mistakes really define who you are. Change your values, change your being. No. So why do we give it so much importance? And as I said, like that, all that judgment. And I hope you're following what I'm trying to say here because there is like the core you and there is that gap, right? And there, then there is your English, which like you have negative opinions. And those negative opinions prevent you from, from advancing, from reaching that breakthrough. So it kind of like accentuates that gap. It doesn't solve the gap, it just kind of like widens the gap, all those negative opinions. Because you teach your brain that everything sucks and that you're unable to learn and that speaking like you speak is embarrassing. So you have all those ideas that every time you open your mouth you're just manifesting those thoughts or putting it into practice. Right? So, and why do we have all of these opinions that prevent this breakthrough? Because of other people. Because of the fear of what other people are going to think about us, of what they're going to say, whether or not they're going to want to talk to us. Now, yes, sometimes those other people are our bosses or the HR manager that is going to hire us. So sometimes there is a lot at stake, but for the most part these are just people that first, don't care about your English. Second, probably they don't notice anything that you are, you know, all the mistakes that you think that you're making or you getting stuck. I mean, they acknowledge that you don't speak the same language. I gave that example before. It's just like if I were to walk down the street with someone who just broke her leg and I'd be like walking faster and being like, why are you so stupid? I mean, that would be odd, right? And I'm not saying that non native speakers are people with broken legs, but they're simply not able bodied. You know, if we think about this comparison, it's just not the apples and oranges. So I'm saying like, I can't expect someone who has different circumstances than me to keep up in the same pace as I do. So I have that compassion and, and kind of like easiness for the most part. Unless I'm a jerk, right? And yes, there are jerks out there. I'm not talking about them. But those jerks should not define how we feel about ourselves and cause us to have those thoughts that prevent us from reaching that breakthrough. I just wrote it in one of the comments in my Instagram post about the video that I released on Tuesday about my journey. And she wrote, I just started a YouTube channel and my biggest fear is criticism, right? Like the moment I post a video, there is like, there's going to be that one person that will have something to say and then I'm gonna feel like a fraud, not enough, blah, blah, blah, all of that. And then I said, listen, jerks are always going to be there. Trolls are always going to be there. The thing is, those jerks and trolls, they don't pay your bills and they don't make a difference in other people's lives, right? But you showing up and doing the work and making videos will pay your bills, change people's lives, and fulfill your dreams. What will you choose? The sad truth is that most people choose not to show up. And they choose the fear of what other people are going to say about them and the fear of criticism because they constantly think that they are not enough. Truly, in their core, not enough. And maybe it's time to decide that you are with mistakes, with an accent and to start, value what it is that you're doing and understanding that it doesn't need to be at any type of level. There is no expectation of how your English should be. You should just be able to express yourself. And as I told that woman in that post, I'm telling you, their opinions of your English, they don't get you a better job, they don't get you a higher rate, they don't help you to relocate if you want, or to speak confidently to other people. What does is how you think about your English and of course, the things that you do. But when you think so negatively about your English, a lot of times you just lack the motivation. You lack the motivation to do something about your English because you think you're a lost cause. You think that it's not going to help anyway. You think it's a black hole and nothing's going to stick. So what if next time you have that negative thought, my mind is a black hole? I'm sorry, I keep coming back to it. It's just such a good example. And I, like so many people, can resonate with that. Next time you feel my brain is a black hole and I can't read words, don't stick to it. You say, I know so many words. I already know so many words. My English is exactly what, where it needs to be. I am enough. I'm expressive. I'm not even using the word fluent. Because you already have so many opinions about fluent that it might generate resistance. You have ideas about what fluent is because the industry has instilled in you this idea that fluency is one thing and that's where you need to be. And usually it's associated with the sound of a native speaker. So I'm just saying expressive, that means that every thought that you have, you're able to express it, right? Doesn't matter how you. Expressive and clear, right? Doesn't matter how you sound. So think about it. What if every time you have that negative thought, you change it around, you write it down everywhere on your screensaver, you put a reminder on your phone, you write it on your mirror, you put a post it. So every negative thought, see how you can flip it around and turn it into positive thought. Because just like your brain believes all those negative things, gradually it will believe all the positive things. It doesn't have its own. Like, you know, there isn't really a person there saying, yeah, I'm going to believe in that, or no, you are deciding how you're going to think and feel about things. So I want for all of you who wrote in the comments something negative, right? Like how that opinion that they had about their English, how can you take that and see the positive side of it? How can you turn not enough to enough? Okay, so for example, like I gave you, I'm a black hole of words. I'm a Teflon of words. So what would it be? I'm a bulletin board of notes? Or what is like, think of something that is sticky. Maybe I'm a scotch tape of words. Words stick to me. I remember words. I'm a computer. I already know so many words. Yeah, I know so many words. Which is true, by the way. I mean, you probably already know, for those of you or that, like whoever wrote I'm a black hole, like, you probably know thousands and thousands of words. Maybe you don't use them, but you know them. Unless you're true. Like, you just started out and all you know is like house, doll and cat. And probably if that's the case, you wouldn't be here listening to me because I used a lot of words. So if you Understood, let's say 80%, 70% of what I'm saying, I'm saying you know a lot of words. So I know so many words. Look at how I've learned all these words, right? What would that do to your mind, to your feelings, right? And then like, let's take action. Let's go to Hadar's vocabulary planner and put it into practice. I love this. I'm a dictionary. Oh, my God, I'm gonna steal this. I'm a dictionary. I'm a walking dictionary. Let's all say it. I'm a walking dictionary in English. I'm a walking English dictionary. I love it so much. I understand 100%. Oh, my God, I'm great. I'm so good. I am enough. Remember, that is also very powerful. And I told you, I just watched. I plan to do this mindset video for the entire week now. And then, of course, I probably manifested it into. I listened to a podcast, and then I was introduced to this woman, and I saw her talk. I'm going to again post a link to it later. And all she talks about is how she changed her name is Marissa Peer, and she talks about how she changed people's lives simply by getting them to say and write everywhere. I am enough. Right? Which is the core of all our struggles. Because people are going to judge us because I'm not enough. People are going to think we're, you know, stupid. People are not going to want to talk to us because I'm not enough. Why? Why are they going to want to talk to me? But it's just. It's not just about English. It happens in every other area of our lives. Okay? I'm improving myself. Yeah, I'm already right? Like, I'm in. In a constant state of improvement and progress. Make it powerful. Make it exciting. I love that. I'm a Grammarly partner at work. I'm a Grammarly partner at work. I am Grammarly, right? Grammarly is me. For those of you who struggle with grammar, like, you know, I get it. I correct it. I. I know everything. Sometimes I make mistakes because Grammarly makes mistakes, too. Even Grammarly premium. You can also say I'm Grammarly premium because you are premium. I really know how to communicate in English, and people love talking to me. I'm adding stuff. Hope it's okay. People love listening to me. I change people's lives. I make an impact, right? So, I mean, choose one thing, and I have, like, a list of affirmations. Oh, I think I prepared it here. You know what? If you go to my Instagram account on my. If you go to my bio, you can download it. I think I have access. Like, I have it there, which is 30 affirmations for English, for speaking English. Right. Confidently. If you feel like you need the inspiration so you can get it. And if you don't follow me on Instagram, then, anyway, it's time for you to follow me because we have fun there. Okay? What else do we have here. Yeah, I'm going to be myself. I myself not going to be now, right? Like, I am myself when I speak in English. I am authentic. I'm confident. Yeah. Zubayda. I create new words, right? So even if you make mistakes, you're like, no, I just create new words because English needs revision. English evolves. Like, if we listen to old English, we won't be able to understand, you know, 80% of the words. Native speakers won't be able to understand it. English keeps evolving. Maybe it's time for another change by opening it up for more people who are not native speakers, who will simplify it or improve it. I'm an influential communicator. Love that. Why I. Why do I love it so much? Because we. We thrive not by, like, just the idea of success. Right. Or, you know, yeah, I got the job. Yeah, I get paid. Yes. All of that. It's not that. I mean, if we really come down to what gets us tick, what makes us tick as human beings, it really comes down to having an impact. Changing lives, getting people to feel. And we need our words for it, right? So having this idea that I'm influential, I'm an influential communicator. I have influence on other people's lives, and I do it in English and. And then whatever other 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 languages that you speak.

Right.

Like, I use my words to influence people. That's more important than getting it perfect or getting it right. And their opinions are not going to interfere with my goals and the influence that I'm going to have and with helping other people. Okay. I'm a master influential communicator. Exactly. Raquel. I love that I impact my students to be better than me. So again, like, impacting other people, right? Like, I want to see them. I want to see them going even further. And also, you know, I want to be. I am the role model for my students.

Right.

Like, remind yourself that it is about them, but it's also about how you see yourself. Because when you say that, you're already positioning yourself a little differently and lower. And even though I think that's the right idea, and I absolutely want to see my students thrive and exceed my work. However, you know, at the same time, make sure that it doesn't bring up that idea that you are not enough. Okay. Because it's not about being better. It's about helping them create the best circumstances for themselves. So I know you had, like, it's the most amazing intention. I'm just, like, saying that words matter and Your words, the words that you choose to use should be very specific and empowering. I have an important message to communicate. Yeah. So keep. Keep on bringing those things up, because I'm sure that one of the things I have an important message and I'm communicating it right. Like, remember that you want to do it in the present tense. And always like, I am enough in English. So let's take that idea that I was, you know, that, like. And I talk about it a lot. I also talk about. In my podcast a lot. But, like, I. My English is good enough. My English is enough. It's not good enough. My English is enough. That's it. I just. I just realized it. My English is enough. So I am enough. You can use that. But when it comes to English, every time before you walk into a conversation and you have that fear of English, just say to yourself, my English is enough. My English is enough for what I need. My English is enough to impact people. My English is enough to express myself. My English is enough to make a truthful relationship. My English is enough. And we're going to wrap up with that. So let me see a few final comments. I'll do it. I'm going to decide to be positive each time those negative thoughts come to mind. Promise. I'm going to hold you accountable, my dear. I want you to do it, and I want you to start. And remember that it can be immediate. Immediate. Just get started doing it, and every time you catch that negative thought, you change it around. My English is enough. Okay, okay. You know it's coming, right? Hold on, hold on. You know it's coming, right? The music. Okay, so thank you so, so much. As I said, we have a few exciting episodes coming up in the new season. I hope you. I hope it resonated with you. Remember that a huge part that's too loud. Remember that a huge part of your work has nothing to do with grammar, has nothing to do with the words that you choose to memorize, has nothing to do with how much time you have to practice, and has nothing, nothing to do with your accent. Right. It's how you think about your English, how. And how you think about yourself as a communicator of English. Right? And if you haven't addressed that before and you haven't seen the breakthrough that you want to see, now is the time. And that is your next step. And that's what you need to do. Okay? That's what you need to do to get the results that you want. Because when you have that confidence than the word stick. Then you become Grammarly and then you become an influential communicator. Thank you so, so much. I love you all. Come and follow me on Instagram so we can connect and send me a DM if you like this episode and if you have any questions or requests for future episodes. Okay, that's it.

Thank you so much for tuning in and for being here on the Influency podcast. If you liked it, then subscribe to the podcast and come on over to Instagram to hi to find out about everything that is going on and when we have another live English show. Well, actually you can just write it down every Thursday at 12pm EST. And I'd also love to hear what you think about the episode. So come on over to Instagram and send me a dm. And in the meantime, take care and have a beautiful, beautiful day. Bye.

Sam.