Hinesh Chauhan reflects on having a son first and then a daughter 20 months later, describing how birth order shaped early bonding (son became the author's "kid" while the newborn remained more attached to the mother), the protective older-brother role, and expectations that their sibling relationship will deepen as they age and enter high school together.
20 months
Do you have a boy first or do you have a girl first? Because you have to put your order in early enough with the stork to get what you want, right? So having my boy first was, was a beautiful thing because, you know, one kid's a hobby. Anything more than that, it's the real deal. So when it was a hobby, he was still young, breastfeeding, attached to his mom. But as kid number two came along very quickly. Kids are only 20 months apart, but even before that we, we were able to bond. And then after his sister came, we bo it even more and he became my kid because now the newborn needed her mom. And as time went on, she remained her mom's daughter. And I gotta have my little buddy and having that boy who is going to be there as his younger sister's protector in reality or theory. And if my kids watch this, I'm sure my daughter just laughing at this and so is my son thinking, meh, she can fend for herself. But as I tell them, once they get past 20, once they're out of high school, their relationship, that dynamic changes and they're going to get closer as that, that age ratio shrinks with time and I'm very much looking forward to it because they are close in age and there's an overlap with their friend circle. They go to the same high school and I'm excited to see how that progresses. But I also know that if anything happened, the whole sister's big brother would kick ass if it was required. So having that older brother was a good thing. Even though I wanted that older sister, younger brother dynamic, I'm really happy for how things have played out.
