Breaking Cycles

Foreign.

Hello, it's Ron and Hope. Unfiltered. Raw. Relevant. Real, real.

Raw. Relevant.

You gotta mixed up. Oh, okay, you got it now you.

Gotta do it right.

Raw and relevant.

It's real first. So then it's raw.

Glad you're back with me today.

You know what, did you and Denise.

Have a good one last week? Me and Pastor Denise had an amazing.

I haven't heard it. I haven't heard that podcast.

I'm telling you, lives will be changed by that podcast if you did not.

So they like leading. Need to go back and listen to that one too, right?

Yes. If. If you have not listened to that podcast from me and Pastor Denise, last week's. And it was how to Break Soul Ties. How to break Unholy, unhealthy, ungodly Soul. Soul ties.

Three to five minute. Give us a review.

Oh, three to five minutes.

Just an overview.

So what is a soul tie? And we talked about it. It's an unhealthy tie with your emotions. A lot of people talk about it as only. You only get a soul tie by having sex. And that's not true. A soul is your mind, your will and your emotions.

I didn't know this. I didn't know this because believe it or not, me and Hope have a lot of wheels turning and I was not able to be on that. And I hadn't gone back and listened to it. But for people who join our TV ministry as Covenant Partners, we would give away the messages that I preached on Soul Ties. We have given that message away for three years. They love it because of the demand. There are people that are becoming Covenant Partners just because they want to get that message.

It's such a powerful topic. And the thing is, this is how we started out, that people don't even know what it is, that a lot of people have never even heard of a soul tie. What is a soul tie? But this is what they do know. Why can I never become content? Why am I so driven? Why am I battling add? Why am I battling anxiety? Why can I not be content in a marriage? Why cannot I not be content in a job? Because you're always searching. You're searching. You're searching because your soul, which is your mind, your will, your emotions, basically talking about your emotions, are always searching to be filled because they were not filled at the proper time, which is childhood in our homes. So we go into adulthood looking for somebody to give us a drop, looking for somebody to give us a compliment, looking for somebody to make us.

Let's just switch up what we're gonna talk about here. Cause I can go in a whole different direction. The fact is, when you're at home. I've talked about this before on something else, not on our podcast. They're your father and mother. They're a parent. People don't understand a parent as a role. Yeah, they're your father and they're your mother. Because father and mother denote life source.

Right.

So the Bible says, honor your father and mother. Honor them as a life source. There's some of you. Your father and mother may have been disgusting parents. And when I say honor, you know that makes you have throw up, come up in your throat. But the fact is, you're not honoring because they did a role in a positive way. You're honoring them because that union brought you into the world. And I've told people just to get a little spiritual right here for a moment. Anything in the Bible that gives life, God demands it be honored.

That's right.

That you're supposed to honor those who bring you life in the Word. The Bible says, actually, those who teach and instruct you in the Word in double honor. The Bible says, honor your father and mother that your days may be long on the earth. That was the only ten commandments. What a promise. And then the Bible says, honor God and honor God with your possessions and everything, because God is a life source. Parents are a life source. Teachers and instructors in the Word are life source. God is a life source. And all of those are demanded to honor. He never says, honor your parent.

Right?

So when you are small, God puts you in a house, a small house, your parents house, to have your emotional tank filled and have your emotional needs met, wherever there are deficiencies in that house. And everybody has them. Everybody has them. I don't care what house you was raised in, everybody has them. Then what happens is you go into the big house, which is called life and adulthood, and you carry longings into adulthood. And that's where that mysterious desire that is unconquerable seems to come in as they get into adulthood. And it takes them down roads of alcoholism, takes them down roads of gambling addiction, takes them down roads of drugs, takes them down roads of infidelity. It takes them down these roads and they'll sit there. And most of these people are not bad people. Most of these people sit there and say, I don't even know why I'm doing what I'm doing.

We talked about that in the podcast.

I don't even know why I'm doing it.

That's what I told her, I said, pastor Denise, I said, they may not know what a soul tie is, but they know their life is miserable and they can't find any contentment, and they don't even know why they're doing what they're doing. They're driven.

And if you ask them, and I remember mine, in your bad time, you know, first thing everybody wants to know is why. I remember you couldn't answer me. You could not give me an answer. I don't know if you had any answer that would have made me feel better. But the fact is, I remember you seemed to be as mystified as where we had ended up.

And we talked about that as anybody. So bottom line, they need to go back and watch that podcast.

They do. But I want us to take off from here and talk about breaking cycles.

Okay?

Can we do that? That was not the plan, but let's do it. I see eyes getting a little big. Is it all right if we go into breaking cycles? Okay. When she flares her eyes, you know what the code word is for her? Right here around the church, they call her Tranquility. So when the security Tranquility's entering the building, I'm like, who the heck gave her that name?

Cause security, you're supposed to be opposite. It's supposed to be like a secret.

Nobody consulted me about what your name was.

No one ever thought my name or would describe me as Tranquility.

I said, who called it? I said, it should have been Hurricane. Oh, my goodness. I said, it should not have been Tranquility. But anyway, so I saw the fly. We're all right. Real, real relevant. The eyes flared, but I'm okay.

Yes.

All right. So when this is over, I'm not going. I'm not going. Okay. All right. Just want to make sure I'm not.

Going to beat you.

Okay. This time you hadn't hit me in three days. And I want you to stay the course.

Okay? Go. Breaking cycles.

Number one. You go into the big house with longings. And the longings determine the habits and the patterns that really determine where your life ends up. And people say, how the. Excuse me. H E L l did I get here?

Double hockey sticks.

Yep. How did I get here? And it happened because there's a deficiency here. You carry it here, but the consequences here are much greater than the consequences here. The prime example is the woman at the well. Okay. What was Jesus trying to say to the woman at the well? You're going to have to drink from a different place.

Right?

Because you've got. You have gone through five marriages. You've gone through five marriages, and you're living with another one, and this one ain't even your husband. And what Jesus was trying to help her understand is whatever you're drinking from makes you come back, so it must not be satisfactory.

It's just a drop, because it's not the real thing, right?

Well, the Bible says you got the lust of the eye, lust of flesh, and the pride of life. And it says these lusts fade. They fade. So you go out for the moment, and you may have got a tank full of gas at the moment, but the tank runs back out of gas, right? What did Jesus tell the woman at the well? If you drink from this water, you will never. You'll never thirst again. So the fact is, what can I go to, what can I run to that quenches the longings of a heart? Because the Bible says only God quenches the longings of a soul. And so Jesus basically said, hope, if you keep coming, if you keep drinking from the same well, I hope you like this place, and I hope you like this lifestyle, because this search has got you in a cycle. So now it's just. And with everyone, it gets worse. It gets worse. So the next one gets worse and it gets deeper and the consequences get greater. I'm talking to somebody.

So gambling is just. It starts out a thrill and a rush, but then you get some wins and you're like, oh, I should do this more, and then I should do it more. And then you go to.

Then you start borrowing money, borrowing money.

Then you go to taking all your salary and you get your house in foreclosure, and then you end up in divorce.

The consequences, yeah, they just grow.

So you said consequences. Every podcast you have a word. You said.

I get the opportunity to make up a word. I get the opportunity to make up a word here and there. Let me if something I was going to say, and it was on the tip of my tongue, and it was good, and I don't want to miss it. No, it wasn't that. It was before consequences. Ah. What was it? Lord help me. Oh, yeah. So when we have this inner emptiness and unsettledness, you run to something because she ran to men. None of them satisfied, obviously, because she's going through them like a hot knife through butter. So she just.

Southern sand.

None of them satisfy. So she's going through relationship after relationship, you know, at warp speed. And what we learned in our time of restoration and counseling is that many times when you're in that search, the thing you run to becomes heavier than the thing you're running from.

It does. So it's the plot of the enemy.

Let's take infidelity for an example. You don't like what you're in. Something else looks like it would offer relief, pleasure, whatever. You go to that. And once it snags you, once the tie has been made, then the pressure to sustain that becomes greater than the pressure you were trying to get rid of in the first place.

Let me go say this though, because people are listening and hanging onto these words.

I know. I can tell. I can tell. I can feel it. I can feel it.

I can feel the weight.

We weren't going to talk about this. We're just going to talk about something else.

But this is the. You just made a statement. You said you don't like the one you're in, so you run to another one. It's not even. You don't like the. That's the lie of the enemy. It's not that they don't like the one they're in. They already had longings. It had nothing to do with the person. It has nothing to do with the other. They have brokenness and longings.

That's the reality. But what does it seem like to you? I don't like the one I'm at yet.

Yes, but that's the lie of the enemy. But once you take that bait and that lie, it becomes strong. It becomes a stronghold in your mind. That's why it takes more and more and more and more and more.

And then the longer the cycle gets to complete itself, the deeper the roots are.

You don't know what to do.

And the oak tree's huge and I'm.

Sure there's people listening right now, Ron, who are in that. I don't know what to do. How the H E double hockey sticks did I end up right here? I never wanted to be here. So what do they do?

Let me defer back to you. I got some things I want to speak on. But you having walked this journey out, what do they do? What do they do? Where? What? Well, number one, what was your journey and what was the markers? What was the marking points that made that stop?

Because you don't know why you're there. You don't know why you've ended up here. You don't know why. You even have these crazy thoughts. You don't know why you're miserable. You don't know why you. You feel like your head's about to explode. But you are listening to us today. Number one, go back and listen to the podcast last week with Pastor Denise Boggs about breaking soul ties. Soul ties can be people, places, things. AA teaches that you're emotionally tied to. Tied to people, places, and things, but the reason you are is because you're broken.

Okay, let me say being. Having a soul tie emotionally means you are not free to make decisions outside of that tie. Yep. So decisions you make will be tied to the person, to the place, or to the event.

Right. So you've got to realize we're broken. We're all broken, and you got to understand why. So you need to go back and listen to that podcast. Number one, you can't go any further without that. We give you explicit instructions on how to do it and how to figure out why you're in this mess that you're in.

So you had a long journey. It is a journey. It's a journey of discovery, and it's a journey of healing. But here, again, I'm going to go back to this, because I think some people's like, all right, I'm with you now. What. What were some of the markers in your journey? The landmarks that I remembered this right here. God, did I remember this right here. And by the time we got here, that thing began to.

Well, number one, I just said I had to understand I was broken, and I did not get emotional needs met as a child. That is not just hope, Carpenter. That is not just two or three people. That's every human listening to me.

Okay, what did Denise take you through to help you realize your needs weren't met? She had a grading system. That actually is very tough. It's very tough to view your parents like that.

But it's all on last week's podcast.

You put that on there. Okay. You put that on there.

So there's emotional needs that we talk about. It's on last week's podcast. So you have to go back and say how? Well, security, affirmation, you know, in these areas, raising me. And it's kind of shaky because you don't want to put any blame or dishonor on your parents. It's not that. It's just trying to realize and recognize where you are today, why you do what you do, why you have unhealthy relationships, and the cycle just keeps going and going and going, and you can't seem to get free. That's the goal today. We're trying to explain why we get stuck in these cycles in our life, and we can't seem to be free, to live this abundant life that God's called us to Satan. John 10:10. He just wants to steal, kill, destroy, tear it all up, send it to hell on a slip and slide. But Jesus said I came, that you might have life, and you might have it abundantly. But, Ron, most people are not living an abundant life. It's because we're stuck in these cycles.

Okay, so you became aware that you were broken. Next marker.

Yes. Then I had to go back and identify. Okay. Before we get somewhere, every emotional need. Okay, say security. I didn't score real well score my parents well on security, or I did or I didn't. I'm not saying this is me. I'm saying hypothetically. But then who do I go to now to fill that void? Okay, well, number one. One of them was Ron. I went to Ron. That's unhealthy. Even if it was my husband, no human is supposed to feel the voids that only Jesus. Psalm 107 can feel. Only Jesus can feel the longings of the soul. Okay. I cannot put that pressure on my husband to give me security. I have to get my security from Jesus. So I had to put names down underneath.

Have you ever heard these spouses come to us and say, I don't care what I give her or what I give him.

It's never enough.

Never enough. It's never enough because you can't do it. No, only God does it. One of the toughest things for me to receive. This was tough that Denise taught, in a marriage, anything you get from the person is icing.

Yeah, icing on the cake.

God gives the cake. Anything you get from the person is icing on the cake. That was tough for me because Ron.

Wanted to be my everything.

I wanted to. I wanted to think. I guess I wanted to think I could, and I didn't. I didn't want to view you as if you give me anything, I need to be grateful for it. I don't think we need to go into marriage looking at if you get anything from me.

Right. I think we should always look to love, support.

But the fact is, if you don't get it, you should still have it.

You should still have it, and you should still be whole with your relationship with the Lord.

All right, let's say these things had a little bit to do with the tentacles of them. Generational curses, cycles that began in your life that were repeated. All right, now I want to get spiritual because here's what nobody talks about. That, I think, is the missing link. Counsel constantly deals with the mind, but there's a part of soul ties with your spirit. Because if you are physically intimate with somebody, the Bible does not say that you are one with that person in soul. The Bible says you've joined with that person in spirit.

Spirit ties.

Spirit ties. And so the anointing destroys the yoke. What is the yoke? The thing that binds you to it, and it lifts the burden. So it not only destroys the tithe, but it removes all the pressure that came with the tithe. And nobody really even points at the anointing. But if I remember right, babe, because it's getting a good ways back in our rearview mirror now. And thank the Lord for that. You had a moment.

Yeah.

Where you had a visitation from God where something broke, let somebody hear that.

And it didn't even have to do with infidelity. It was a spiritual soul, but it was a spiritual tie from a vow that my father had made when he had joined the Masons. Just a young guy going into the Masons thought it was just in his culture.

That was the thing he did. That was the thing he did.

The good guys in the community go join this to help the widows and the orphans and, you know, to be the upstanding citizens had no idea what it was rooted in, in witchcraft and demonic activity. And they make you say these vows and the things that you vow to, you know, a lot of them had to do with even the protection of your children. So God visited me in a room with Pastor Denise, and she just came in there, and because there was something we just couldn't get through, we just couldn't understand why it was like a block we couldn't get through. And Pastor Denise came in and said, hope I keep hearing this song. And she said, I just keep hearing it. It's about the devil going to Georgia. She said, do you know that song, the Devil Went down to Georgia? She said, that's all I hear. But have you ever heard this song? And I said, pastor Denise, I can quote. I can sing it to you right now. I said, it used to be one of my favorite songs as a little girl. Just a little country song. The devil went down to Georgia Looking for a soul to steal he was in a bind he was way behind he was willing to make a deal. Many of you have probably heard this song. And she said, yes, that's it. She said, that has something to do with you. I said, pastor Denise, I was born in Georgia.

So you were. You lived in South Carolina, but you crossed the line. And you were born In Georgia.

I was 15 minutes. Because our little city didn't have a hospital, so we had to go into Georgia to the hospital. She said, that song, she said, I just keep hearing it. It has something rooted. She said, where's your family from? I said, the whole hilly line's from Georgia. She said, was your granddaddy a Mason? Yes. Was his daddy a Mason? Yes. I mean, we traced this thing all the way back to the origin, and we began to break all of those ties and word curses over my life and over our family that they didn't even know they were aligned to and making.

So trying to be discerning right now because we're in something heavy. This ain't a fun little pep talk. I can sense some people being overwhelmed right now because they're like, I don't have a Ms. Denise. I don't have somebody to walk me through this. Let me tell you something about the anointing. The anointing does not have to travel to a certain place, a certain altar or a certain house. The anointing that destroys the yoke of a curse and of a cycle in your life is available to you right now.

Right now.

And it can break whatever you allow it to break. But you've got to invite the Holy Spirit in and invite the anointing to Holy Spirit to come in and begin to show you the cycle, show you the origination of the cycle. And the Holy Spirit will.

He will.

And then he will bring that from your life. But now, let me tell you, seeds become cycles. So seeds of molestation become cycles. Okay? If I plant an acorn, I'm going to get an oak tree and have acorns the rest of my life. Okay? So you get this seed of abuse. It produces cycle. You get this seed of addiction, alcoholism. It becomes a cycle. Alcoholism was all in my family, right? My father's father died in a snowstorm, catching pneumonia because he was walking outside naked because he was stone drunk. That is a true story. 42 or 48 years old when he passed. Now, having said that, when seeds create cycles, the anointing comes. The anointing of the breaker. Isaiah says, I love. It comes and breaks the cycle. But you are in charge of the next seed. You have to do something different. Exactly right. You have got to plant.

You got to turn around and go.

The other way for the new life that you want. That's what's called repentance.

Yes.

So there is a repentance in this. I turn from this and reward. Repentance is not a prayer it means a change of mind. I got a tag up. So it means a changing of my mind. What it means is taking the word of God, renewing my mind, renewing my thoughts, renewing my attitude, renewing my speaking and everything. Why? Because those are the seeds that recreate a different tomorrow than I had yesterday.

So what about the person listening, Ron, who's saying, oh, wow, you're describing my life and I've destroyed my marriage. I thought this person made me happy. It was an unholy, unhealthy soul tie. Now I've destroyed my marriage. Now I'm listening to what you're saying. What do I do right now? Can I still be with this person?

I'll let you answer it. Go ahead and walk them down there.

No, you have to has to be repented of to be repented, repentant. And you have to say this was sin. This was an ungodly attachment.

It originated in an ungodly attachment.

And I have to cut this from. I have to separate from the enmeshment. I have to separate from the codependency that we formed in this unholy union, this unholy soul tie so that I can be free. I have to turn around, stop drinking this water, water from this well, Stop drinking right here and turn around and drink something different.

And Jesus basically, Jesus told her that quit drinking here, right? Okay, you can have a moment in the anointing. The Bible says before you can enter a strong man's house, you got to bind the strong man. That is a spiritual experience. That you've got to allow the spirit of God to go in and take charge of the thing that's had charge of you. That is an experience. Then you can begin to enter the house. If the demons come back with seven times more strength than they left and says if they see the house swept and unclean, that they enter again and the person's end is greater than it.

If it hasn't been filled with something else.

Exactly right. So you could go to a Denise Boggs, living waters win, and God just clean you. I mean, like Lysol, just Clorox, just clean you. But if you leave there, don't do anything different, and you don't fill the house with any different furniture. That means take spiritual things and begin to invest them into your life. Then the fact is that those things come around and revisit and you can be bound worse when they revisit, they need to find a no vacancy sign so good that you have already been through something else and there is no room for that attachment to come around your life again. And let me tell you when that visitation usually happens. It usually happens. I'm in something. It usually happens when you're at a place where God is about to promote you. You had Peter the disciple three and a half years. He did everything he was told to do. Now it's time for Jesus to go. He's going to be Peter the Apostle Peter. And what happens? Where was he when Jesus found him? Fishing. After he denied Jesus before he was to become the one of the 12 apostles, he said, I am going fishing. In other words, his past came right back around and gave him one more opportunity before he broke it forever. So some of you that are saying, man, I got some old stuff. Well, I feel like speaking in tongues and just going off right here. I got some old stuff that is coming back around to my life that I thought was well in my rearview mirror. And it's. And it's revisiting me. Let me tell you something. That is a sign to you that your promotion is at hand. And you need to let the same anointing that broke it the first time break it again and again and again in your life anytime that it ever tries to come back and revisit you. And I just pray for those people right now, for a hedge of protection around them and their future and their purpose in the mighty name of Jesus. We usually don't try to get all preachy and teach you on this, but we got into some deep stuff.

People are living here. People in leadership are living here, people in pulpits.

I've never seen anything like it. Yeah, I've never seen. And so here's what I think is happening, because, you know, I have a fellowship and I hear a lot from pastors, they don't see any way to be free from it. So they're trying to accommodate it.

Yeah. And they're trying to just cover it up.

Trying to accommodate it, justify it here. Again, I don't think because most of them are bad people, because most of them say, I don't know what to do with this. So it's just a part of my life and I'm going to have to embrace it.

Well, you don't know what to do with it. You don't. Coming from somebody who ended up, you know, just a crumbled mess. You don't know. I mean, you don't know what you don't know, and you don't know why. You know, nobody teaches these things. Nobody talks about it. We just want to Fluff you up. You know, most preachers just want to tell you you're just gonna have a.

You're valuable, you're worth, you're worth, you know, you're loved.

And, and all that's true.

It's all true.

But it makes the hearer, it makes the hearer very confused and very tormented when they hear this good gospel news that all these wonderful things, the life God has planned for you, but on the inside they're tormented.

And the in flab, they go into internal confluence.

Yeah. So they're like, ah, this must not be for I must be so messed up. This must be for everybody else. Why am I so messed up? It's just, it's not life changing. We've got to preach the truth. We've got to tell the truth. The truth makes you free.

Come out of the unfruitful works of darkness.

Yes.

Have no part with them. So in other words, no freedom comes till something's brought into the light.

Right.

So as long as you got that thing a secret, that's what darkness means.

And you know, you might lose some people. You might. But you know what, a lot of people. Yeah, I almost lost my marriage, but God, you know, from being honest. But I'm telling you, do you want to live in this sin cycle the rest of your life and be miserable, or do you really want to be free? I want to be free.

Let me answer that and we'll close with this thought right here. Not. You got some of it chronicled in your book. But our story is that which movies could be made. I mean, we had some really. We about lost it. We about lost it. And then when God resurrected it, it was miracle after miracle after miracle. And I remember the first night I came to see you and I had just gotten to the point where I had agreed to do that. I was hurt and I was deeply wounded. So, I mean, I had to get back to that place because the first thing you want to do when something hurts you is just get away from it because you don't want it to hurt you no more. And so Hope and I had not seen each other for some time and our phone calls had been strained at best. And then I had a life changing night with God. One night where God told me I could not abandon her. But the feeling of wanting to be back with her, that was something I'd struggle with. So finally you didn't want to be with this. Yeah. But it was a tough road. You remember it and I do too. So I remember that first call So I called Denise, who you're living with, and asked her, could I come take you out? So I submitted to their authority like a parent, and they agreed. And so we went out for a very simple dinner. I won't go into the romance of that night, because there was some tender moments that we needed badly. But on the way home, pouring down rain in the middle of those mountains, you turned toward me in the car. You shifted, and you looked at me. You said, I know when you found out that was the worst day of your life, you said, but it was probably the best day of mine. That's what we're talking about. It's got to be brought to the light.

You got to want freedom more.

Yep. Yep. And, you know, maybe you were willing to lose it, but you're at a place. I cannot function in this dark place one more day. And though you may have someone in your life, your coming out with the truth may be very painful. Truth always trumps a lie every day. You can't ever get to the right place doing the wrong thing.

It's not just coming out, telling the truth so you can continue to live in your lie.

The beginning of my journey.

It's the beginning of my freedom. It's not okay. I've been doing this, and I'm going to continue doing this. I think that's the whole goal of.

What we're trying to confess. Confess one to another that you may be healed.

Yes. You confess your faults so that you can get rid of all of this stuff, so that you can live the life God's called you to live. You know, that's what we really want from you.

These things aren't to be embraced as this is your lot in life. These things are to be spoken so that you can come to a place of freedom and so that those that really care about you in your life and you will find out who cares.

About you, you do.

Those that really care about you will encourage you in that journey, even if there's some places about it that hurt is painful to them. And so with that right there, we usually spend a little more time on this, But I feel like we have inundated people with some heavy information, and there might be some people that just want to click off the podcast and say, I just want to run down the woods and talk to God. Because this right here, something's happening in them. I can sense it.

Yeah. And listen, there's. There are places that you can get help. Go to livingwaters.com. they have retreats every month. They have men's retreats, women's retreats, healing retreats, healing the heart, Esther retreats. They do zoom counseling. They do one on one counseling. There are places where you can get get help. We do healing the heart classes twice a year here at Redemption. Go to myredemption cc. Look up healing the heart classes.

That's on both coasts.

Both coasts. Greenville, South Carolina. San Jose, California. We just want to see you live the life that God has planned for you. He really does have a great life like we were talking about earlier. He's got an amazing life plan for you. But.

But whether or not you live it will not be up to him. No, it'll be up to you.

It will be up to you. And we love you so much.

God bless you.

Share this with us.

I know it was heavy, but share it with somebody because it's heavy. But it's life giving.

It is.

We'll see you real soon.