Do's & Don'ts of Effective Communication - Part 2 - Pastor Hope Carpenter

Well, hello there, everybody. Thank you so much for being here tonight. Don't move. It's going to be so good. We finished part one and if you didn't get to hear that, go to my YouTube channel, click on that. There's so many good messages there from me and several of my friends who love to preach and love to be practical and bring the word. But the part one of the do's and don'ts of communication is on there, so you'll need to have that. Let me recap it just a minute. In part one, we talked about just how much we talk, right? I mean, we run our mouths basically all the the time. We never shut up. You talk too much, you never shut. You like that one. Didn't you need something that's old school. So we do, we talk all the time about 16,000 words a day, right? Almost. I'm not even going. You add that up. 16,000 words a day times 365 and then about average it out about 75 years. It's a lot of words. And even statistics say that, you know, if you just count up the words that you speak in a five to six hour period, you could write a novel. Truthfully, we are writing novels about our life by what we say. That's good and that's bad. So we talk a lot. And so we talked about the importance of the spoken word. You know, God spoke everything into existence. The reason we're here right now is because God spoke, right? And he says we're created in his image. And so we have the same power to speak life or death into our life, into a situation. So the importance of God's word, we're created in his image. He wants us to be like Him. So he gave us that authority to speak and create something. But what are you creating? Look around your life. Is it good? Is it bad? Is it fruitful? Is it healthy? Is it beautiful? Is it abundant? Is it living and breathing? Or is it over in a corner, shriveled up and dying? You know, is your marriage shriveled up and dying? Are your children healthier? Are they prospering? Are they like eras that you have taken and shot them into the future that the Word says you have the power to do? Or are they just wandering around aimlessly with no direction? Oh man, we have so much responsibility, right? The word of God gives us so much responsibility. Proverbs 18 says there's power of life and death in the tongue. Bottom line, power of life and death in the tongue. So we speak life or we speak Death every single time we speak. Every single. There's no neutrals. It's power of life or death every time we speak. So we have to evaluate our speech, we have to evaluate our talk. Evaluate your self. Talk. Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks. So, yeah, we can't go around and say, let's do a talk correction class. Let's don't say these words anymore. And we need to say these words. The truth is you got to do a heart inventory to see why you're so negative, why you're so critical, why you're so stinking mean and nobody wants to be around you. Well, it's a heart inventory. Are you sick in your heart? Because whatever's in here is going to come out of your mouth. And whatever comes out of your mouth is what manifests in your life in all areas of your life. So we got to do a heart check, right? That was all in part one. So go listen to it. It's so good. It's so rich. It will help you. So now what? Now what? Now that we know that James3.2 says this. We all stumble in many ways, right? None of us are perfect. Will the real perfect people stand up? That's right. Stay seated. We all stumble in many ways. Anyone who is never at fault in what they say is perfect, able to keep their whole body in check. My husband preached a message this past weekend about this scripture. And it was so powerful, it was so rich, it was so good. I told him, I said, you are in such a deep well and a perfect person, the scripture says, is a fully matured person. It's a weas. That's the translation of that word. It's a fully mature person. And a fully mature person can keep his whole body in check. So if you still struggle with what comes out of your mouth, that is a huge indication that you are not a mature believer. I know it's tight, but it's right. Not a fully matured believer. And listen, no condemnation here. None of us are there. We are on this path called upward. I press on toward the mark, the high call of God in Christ Jesus. There's no place called there. This super spooky spiritual place you get to where you don't struggle anymore. We all struggle, right? But we're supposed to be better tomorrow than we were yesterday. We're supposed to know more next week than we did last year. We are on this journey called up upward, trying to be like Jesus, to look like Jesus, to live like Jesus, to act like Jesus, to love Like Jesus. To talk like Jesus, There's a scripture that talks about the bit in the horse's mouth. You know, a horse is a very strong animal, but all it takes is a bit in his mouth to tap him, to turn him, and he'll go wherever you tell him to go. That's what that scripture means. It means if you can take this thing right here and get it right, your whole life will line up. Your whole life will go where it's supposed to go. Our mouths set the course of our life. Our mouths set the course of our life. So until we can get our heart right, let's just go on and put some duct tape on our mouth. Those masks that we've been wearing is pretty good. I mean, maybe it should shut us down a little bit until we can get our heart inventory done and get our heart healed so that we can start saying what God says about us and everybody else, right? Our mouths set the course for our life. I can talk you out of my life. And I can talk you right into my life. Why? How? By the way I treat you, what I say about you, If I'm kind to you, if I'm gentle with you, if I'm loving to you, but if I'm a rear end to you, you don't want to be around me, I'm going to talk you right out of my life. What you fail to celebrate will eventually exit your life. In friendships, in marriage. What you fail to celebrate will eventually exit your life. So first, we need to recognize our ways. Are we negative? Are we untruthful? Are we deceptive? Are we manipulative? Are we critical? Are we angry? Are we judgmental? Do we see the glass half full or do we see it half empty? It's a choice, right? The glass doesn't change. The water doesn't change. It's how you see it that changes. If so, look around your life. Does your life mirror that negativity, that hate, that anger, that manipulation? Because you're going to get what you give. I promise you, it's a law. Just like if I went and jumped off of this stage, I'm going down. It is a law. You're going to get what you give. Sowing and reaping, it's not called karma. It's called sowing and reaping. It is a biblical principle. And listen. We have to be teachable to listen and to learn and to admit that we're wrong and learn a different way. That's hard because especially when you get 35, 40, 4550 years old, on up in life, you know, you're pretty concrete in the way you do things, but we have to be teachable. You need to stand back. You know, your way is not the only way. It's not. It's not. So you have to be teachable. You have to admit. Yeah, I got some issues. You know my saying, right? I got issues. You got issues, all got. Children got issues. We all got issues. All right? So we got to be teachable. We got to learn. There's a different way. Have y' all ever had to do a hard inventory around here? Have you ever had where you realized you weren't really what you thought you were? What about you, Andrew? You ever had to do a hard inventory?

Yes.

Yes. What about here?

What about here? Yes, I did many a times. Thinking about the fact that, like, you know, like, you're saying out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks, right? While I'm saying all these things in the lens of, I'm thinking, I'm being a realist, I can't expect to do that. I can't do that, or she can't do that, or it can't be this way. And all of that's coming from this negativity in my heart of I'm genuinely believing that that can't be done, that that's impossible. And then you got to stop, and you look in the mirror and you're like, it's not even just about what I'm saying, but my heart's all over the place, you know, so. Absolutely.

And then, I mean, what about looking at the mirror of God's word? We look at our family and say, these are my limitations because of my family. These are my limitations because of my bank account. But that is not our standard. Our mirror is God's word. What God says you can have what God says you can be what God says you can do. Oh, when you accepted Jesus as your savior and you crossed over from darkness into light, man, you just opened up a whole new world of possibilities for you. Are you going to just walk into them with no opposition? Absolutely not. You have an enemy. He hates you. You've crossed over. You're no longer on his team. You're on God's team now. But you are going to have a fight. The Bible says that faith is a fight. It says, fight the good fight of faith. Fight the good fight of believing for what you cannot see. Fight the good fight to occupy what you don't have. Oh, it's going to be a fight. You got to wake up every day and put your whole armor on. You got to wake up every day and say, you know what? It's not going to be easy. But I know that with God, all things are possible to him who believes. To him who believes. Come on. Who believes out there that God has a life for you that's better than the life you're living right now? Good preaching. Years ago, I mean, we've had. We have three children. They're grown now, but when ours were little, one of our children struggled really bad with anxiety and ocd. I mean, from the time that he was five years old. I'm talking about chronic, where we had to go to the psychologists, psychiatrists, they said it was one of the worst cases they had ever seen, to where every night we had to go through a ritual, a routine of, you had to go in, you had to take all the stuffed animals, which he loved stuffed animals. So there was probably 40 or 50, and they had to be turned around because they were looking at him. So we had to turn all the stuffed animals around. The light had to be set to a certain temperature. The door had to be opened just so much, going into the bathroom so the light could come in. And then we had to sit down. And his daddy had to pray. I had to pray. His daddy had to sing a song, I had to sing a song, and I had to scratch his back while I was singing the song. So. And if we missed one of those steps, we had to start over and do it all again. Because anxiety and OCD is unrealistic fears. That's really what the term is, anxiety and ocd. Obsessive compulsive disorder. You fear things that really aren't there. You fear things that are going to happen that really are not going to happen. So I was praying, I was anointing with oil. We were going to doctors. He was on medicine. And I was like, God, you know, I was raised in a Pentecostal church, and we were taught, you lay hands on them and you rebuke it and it's supposed to go away. Well, God, I'm rebuking. And it's still here years later. God, where are you? This is a baby. This is a child. He's struggling so hard. God, I need your help. So finally, after going to doctors, after going through routines in the natural, after taking medicine, I said, you know what I've prayed? Let me see what the word of God says. So I went to Philippians 4, 8. Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is Right. Whatever is pure, whatever's lovely, whatever's admirable. If anything, excellent. If that tells me right there, you got to search for things sometime. If anything is excellent going on or praiseworthy, think on these things. So I went to Chaz, and I started. I changed because we talked about everything that he was afraid of for so long. We talked about the animals that are looking at him. We talked about the socks that didn't feel right. They're bothering me, Mama, this thing. We had to find socks that didn't have seams. I mean, it was just one thing after the other after the other. And so finally, I changed. I said, all right, Chaz, what's good? Chaz, how are you feeling today? Chaz, did you have a good night's sleep? Chaz, was that breakfast delicious? Oh, Chaz, did you have fun playing outside today? I started pointing him toward the positive things. The things that were true, the things that were noble, the things that were right, the things that were pure, the things that were lovely, the things that were praiseworthy, the things that were of a good report. We started thinking of those things. So this is what we did. We made a board. And I put all of those eight words on a board. And we put underneath them every day at the end of the day, Chaz, today what was good. And we listed it, Chaz, today what was right, what went right today, Chaz, put them down. Chaz, today what was true? Chaz, what can we give God praise for today? What happened good today, Chaz? And we started focusing on all the things that were good, that were noble, that were true, that were praiseworthy. And do you know, that child started shifting? He started changing. He didn't talk about the things that he feared. He didn't talk about the things that scared him. And do you know, it wasn't many, many years after that. We had struggled for years and years, and literally it was almost one year, and we'd been struggling for about four that he completely came off medicine. He came off of homeschooling. He went into public school, and he's never looked back. I changed what he looked at. I changed what he thought about the situation. I did not look at the glass half empty. I said, chaz, today we gonna look at the glass half full. And can I tell you, God said stepped in. His word does not lie. His word is true. And if you struggle with negativity, if you struggle with fear, take that scripture home with you, get a notebook out and make your own board, make your own list and change what you are looking at. Can I get an amen in this room? Focus your thoughts on those things. Speak on those things. Cut out all negativity in your life. Surround yourself with uplifting people, uplifting things, uplifting sounds. Change the sound in your house. Stop listening to those old love songs, the song that your boyfriend broke up to. Don't listen to that mess. Turn off Chicago. Turn off the breakup songs. Stop watching scary movies and wonder why you're afraid all the time. Stop watching scary movies and wonder why you're afraid to go over here to the park. And you say, well, that has nothing to do with it. Yes, you've opened up the door to fear in every area of your life. Jesus, watch your life start to change. I guarantee you, you are going to change. Speak it over you. I decree it over you. I declare it over you today. Jesus said, but I say unto you that every idle word that men speak, they will give an account thereof in the day of judgment. For by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned. Matthew 12:36 37 Let me say it again for the people in the back. I say to you that every idle word that you speak you will give an account of on the day of judgment. For by those words you will be justified, or by those words you will be condemned. Listen, it's not just about today. It's not just about the here and now. It's not just about what you can do and occupy here on earth. You will give an account for every word that comes out of your mouth. It will justify you. Justify you. What does that mean, justify you? It will say, yes, you are justified, you are validated, you are who you say you are, or it will condemn you. Jesus. Ephesians 4 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouth, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs. Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouth, but only say only. Only what is helpful for building up others according to their need. So that tells me right there that the people that you and I are going to deal with have some issues, have some needs, right? We are going to come in contact with people who are going to grate you sideways, who are going to make you want to just body slam them twice, go forward and then reverse over them, take a pillow in the night and say, suffocate them. I mean, there's going to be some people who just rub you the wrong way, who have issues, who don't operate like you who don't have the strengths you have, who are weaker in you in certain areas. But don't let any unwholesome word come out of your mouth. But only for the upbuilding of others according to their need. That's a whole word. Right. Right there. That is a whole word. So how many in this room, right here, have ever dealt with somebody who might have rubbed you the wrong way and you failed the test miserably? You just said what they. What they're doing. You just called them how it is. You just said, a spade is a spade. And you getting on my last nerve. Right. You lazy. Mm. You rebellious. Mm. You're unteachable. Mm. You're so selfish. No, let. No, let's just read it again. Unwholesome talk come out of your mouth. But only what is helpful for the building up according to their needs. So if they are lazy, how you gonna counteract that to build them up? If they are getting on your last nerve, if they are manipulative, how you. How are you going to counteract that with your words? If your children are rebellious? I remember so many times taking my hands on my children's head, and I. And I decreed and declared over them. You are a man of God. You are a mighty man of God. I don't care what it looks like today, I call you what the word of God says. Says you are building them up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. Ah. People are listening to you. People are watching you deal with your spouse. People are watching you deal with your friends. People are watching you deal with your children. Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God with whom you were sealed. Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, brawling, slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving one another. How? Why? Just like Christ forgave you. Listen, I know it's tough. I know it is. I'm walking it. I'm walking it with you. I'm on the same muck and mire that you are on trying to get along with people. It's hard, but listen, it's God's way. We got to do it God's way. We can't. We can't say what we think. We can't say what we feel. We got to say what God says. He's given us power to change that situation. If you keep saying what you see, you're going to keep getting what you see. You got to say what God says so that you can get what God says. It Is so good. It is so good. What does God say about your health? What does God say about your money? What does God say about your marriage? What does God say about your. Your children? What does God say about your peace? What does God say about your future? You got to know the truth. And the truth is what makes you free to live this abundant life of God. I know it's tough, but it still doesn't make it not true. It's true. And God's word works. It works all the time, 100% of the time. So you have some. Some homework, so to speak. You got to go and you got to write those eight words down. And you got to change what you're looking at. Look at the things that are good today. Look at the things that are true, the things that are noble, the things that are praiseworthy. Do it with your children. Oh, man. How could you change the climate in your house if everybody did this and you were willing to be teachable, to be called on it when you messed up? If you were willing to be called on it, God's got a great life for you. God's got a great plan for us, man. He paid a terrible price so that we could live free. He paid a terrible price so that we could walk in victory and overcome. But it's a fight. And you gotta be willing to stop being lazy. Get up and do what God has called you to do, to live this abundant life. I love you. God bless you. Thank you. Thank you for being with us and we'll see you next time. Hey there. Thank you so much for taking the time to be with us here tonight, today, wherever you are, all over the world, we truly appreciate the investment of your time into the ministry of Hope Carpenter Ministries. If these messages have been a blessing to you, why don't you hop on over to my YouTube channel? Subscribe via subscribe, subscriber, Follow, like, share and anything you can do. Listen, if you can get the word of God in your heart on a daily basis, it can never hurt you. It's always going to make you better. There's tons of messages on there that you're going to love that will empower you to be the best you that you can absolutely be. Because God wants you to live that life, a powerful life, an overcoming life that you got to get the word of God, your heart also. If these messages have blessed your life in any way, would you consider sowing into this ministry so that we could continue to pay these bills and these technicians and these cameras and the time that it takes to make these videos and get them all over the world. I want to reach everybody that we can all over the world, and I need your help as a partner. If God lays it on your heart to help. Thank you so much. And you can find all the information on hopecarpenter. Com. God bless you. See you next time.