Drugs, Divorce, Cancer...BUT GOD with Guest: Darryl Strawberry

Why do you do that crap?

Because I can't say it.

It's rotten. Hope unfiltered, real.

We need that thing on Instagram and TikTok where you just point and it just flashes up real relevant.

Ron, why can't you say that? I don't get it.

Because I get my words slurred, then you tell me I'm making up words.

You. You have made up some.

I know. That's why I'm not doing. Because you got me so now got me so self conscious that I don't even try it no more. I have to ask you a question right here, publicly. You just walked in here and sat down. What do you have on? I take great pride in my wife looking young, looking spry, being beautiful.

This is a new sweater.

I got her little designer kickers on and shoes. She coming in a beautiful little dress and went and put on granny shawl. This looks like in the old Holiness Church. What? Sit on the back of the pew. And you knew if you saw that shawl sitting on the back of the pew. Don't sit there.

Don't sit there.

Yeah, you don't take that seat.

Well, that's what I'm trying to say.

That's an assigned seat. And I come in here and I got you looking so pretty and you just put on a shawl.

I was cold.

But you have like jackets and blue jean jackets.

Ron, it don't matter.

It really does. Yeah, it matters a lot, actually. The more I look at it. Your shoulder seam comes to here.

It's made that way. Dude. I could ask you, why do you have on a hang T shirt?

We're gonna talk about this. This is Lucky brand T shirt, by the way. And it's brand new. It's actually the first time I've ever worn it. I'm really excited about it. But listen, we can't go on with our foolishness. Back and forward. Even though I know people get tickled at the way me and you just go at each other, we, two weeks in a row, we've just hit it out of the ballpark. I know. And out of the ballpark. No pun intended. No pun intended.

The ballpark.

No pun intended.

Oh, okay.

But one of the greatest baseball players, hall of Fame players, one of the greatest players to ever pick up a ball ever. And although we're not that far away in age, I do remember as a young man and a teenager, sitting back and marveling at the gift that he had. And I want you to introduce our guest today. And a little Bit about where this podcast is going, because the fact that we were able to get them on here is a real treat.

Yes, we have the Strawberries.

Bring them up. Yeah.

The Strawberries. What a name. I mean, could you be more blessed to have such a cute name? The Strawberries.

That's pretty cool.

I mean, I love Strawberries.

The Strawberries. And, I mean, seriously, I was telling them when we were talking earlier, I said, you know, we're having you. Cause you weren't really that good. You know, you were just a Hall of Famer, and, you know, just even fewer. Just few home runs, runs batted, not many. But the reason we have you here is, you know, all that's great and wonderful, but those were traumatic days for you. But the reason we have you here is, I believe God used it. And he's launched you into your greatest day now, into ministry, into purpose. You're happy, you're whole. And we. We love fighters. We are a fighting couple. We have a fighting spirit. We. We had our own fallout many years ago. Excuse me. But God, you know, he works with people who will work with him. And we see that in you. And you have such a powerful testimony. I mean, from cancer, cocaine, just. I mean, I know you're going to get into all this, but today you're on the other side of it, thriving. And I think today we just need to give people hope that no matter where they are in their journey, that there is hope.

There's some people that, Brother Darrell, that think they've just crossed lines and that they've gone so far, that where they are is not redeemable. And men hope because of what happened in our marriage 10 years ago. I was on the phone today about two marriages with pastors in my network.

Yes. All morning.

Yeah, all morning. Yeah. For hours on there by people who, thinking they had helpless situations. And I don't do good with people saying it's hopeless, because I believe if you give God a shot, God will give you your miracle.

Absolutely.

I really do. And so without us taking up any more of your time, because I know our time's limited, just tell us a little bit about the highlights of what you would want everybody to know about the Strawberries.

Well, first of all, first of, I'd like to say thank you for having us on. We really appreciate it.

Thank you for being here.

It's always great to be able to share the goodness of God and, you know, the story of life and. And where we come from and. And how we get there. You know, we don't just get in places by mistake. Things happen for a reason in our life. And for my life, it was no, no different. I think everybody saw me put on a baseball uniform and make millions of dollars and being privileged and living behind community gates and having it all, but I had it all from a worldly standpoint, but I had nothing from a spiritual standpoint. And. And I lived the life fast, and I lived in the fast lane, and I. I did it all. Womanized, alcohol, drug addict, center, you know, rich, famous, you know, like I said, cancer dealt with it all. You know, there was a mess of who I was because of the brokenness of my life from before I ever put the uniform on. My dad was a raging alcoholic. He came home for the last time. I was about 14 years old, pulled out a shotgun, say he was gonna kill the whole family. Had it not been for my sweet little old mother getting me and my brothers out of that house at night, we would have killed him. Wow. So I always say it could have been a tragedy before I ever put the uniform on, but I was already broken before I ever put the uniform.

And that's key.

That's the key right there, you know, being broken. I was already broken. The uniform just covered up, you know, the brokenness of who I was, you know, putting it on and. And playing. And everybody think, well, you should be well. And they wonder why I had so many bad habits. Because I grew up in a dysfunctional situation. I didn't know what a man is supposed to be like, how a man is supposed to live his life. So I lived according to what I saw. You know, my father was a womanizer, you know, drunk and everything. So guess what? It fell up on me. It fell upon my brothers, you know, so we had to. I had to live according to what I only saw. So I go through this whole journey of being successful playing major league baseball, and I end up almost losing my life more than anything. And I just remember, I would always say, you know, God never makes mistakes. You know, that's one thing I love about God. He never makes mistakes. We. We're the only one that makes the mistakes. He helped us clean up the mistakes to surrender ourselves to him. And it wasn't until I decided to surrender myself to him. Because of.

Sister Tracy.

Yeah, because of her. You know, she was the gift that God sent to me when I was broken, lost. I can tell you, when we met, I was like $3 million in debt, didn't have a driver's license. I was shooting dope, smoking crack. She was banging on doors pulling me out of dope houses, saying, God's got a plan for you. You.

Wow.

I said, why don't you and that God just leave me here and let me die? And she goes to me, you're just not that lucky.

I thought to myself, sometimes you just have to keep it real raw and relevant.

That's the only language some of us understand.

Well, yeah, of course. And for me, I did, you know, because I thought to myself, ron and Hope, I thought, man, she's crazier than I am. I knew I was crazy, but I was like, how could God send me somebody that crazy? But little did I know that would be the gift that God has sent to me to bring into my life, to lead me back into church and have the transformation that would. Would take place over 20 years ago in my life was because of the fact that she came into my life. And I always tell people this, God is never going to do anything different. He's going to always do what he's always done. He's always going to use people to help people.

Yeah.

And we can understand that as being people. He doesn't do anything new. It's the same thing that he's always done with people, is allowed other people to help people, to bring people back to him so people could reach their destiny that he has for us because he created us for good. You know what happened? You know, the sin of my life kept me separated from God and kept me going in the direction I was going. And it wasn't until I came to a place of repentance with God and surrendered myself. And that's when my life started to take a turn for the better because everybody thought I really had it all together because I was winning all these championships and I was accumulating all these earthly things. But at the end of the day, it really means nothing. It's meaningless under the sun without God. How much stuff that I was really all that is.

All that is is masking pain.

Yes.

It just mask our pain.

It just covers up, you know, it covers up the real pain and the deep surgery that won't needs aside. And I need a deep surgery on the inside, wasn't one. I thought it was all that in the bag of chips on the outside, you know.

Yeah.

But you know, because I had a uniform on and the uniform just made me a baseball player, but on the inside, you know, I needed the deep surgery. Just like when I had to have surgery for cancer and they had to remove the tumors out of me. It was the same Kind of surgery I had to have for God in my life, you know, And I always tell people what happened was. Was at the end of the day, Jesus is here to rescue, redeem, and restore you. That's what he. That's what he does. He rescues you, redeems you, and he restores you to wholeness and righteousness. And I'm just one of those guys that I can't, you know, I have to do that all the time and say, thank you, Lord, for. For the gift. You know, without the gift, I wouldn't be who I am today. Everybody see me as a traveling evangelist and preaching the gospel, but had it not been for God using her to help me, I wouldn't have never been rescued with.

And, you know, that's so important for us to hear, though, because it is people. And that's why God wants us to tell our story, because we do. Overcome by the blood of the lamb, but by the word of our testimony. And our testimony is what takes other people and pulls them out of darkness into light. If they can hear the Darryl Strawberry and the Ron and Hope Carpenter say, our marriage almost fell apart. And they're like, Ron and Hope Carpenter, Darryl and Tracy Strawberry. Everything should be good with y'.

All.

Y' all got it made. You live in a big house, you got a bank account, you got a big church. But life happens to everybody.

The Bible says that the testimony of Jesus is the spirit of prophecy. In other words, when you testify about what Jesus has done for you, you are beginning to give people a prophetic picture of what can also happen to them.

Yeah.

And you begin to be a dispenser of hope and a dispenser of painting a picture in other people's mind that, you know, my life don't have to be this way.

That's right.

If God did it for Darryl Strawberry, God can do this for me as well. So I just salute you in sharing your pain. I know we need to talk about our sponsors right quick. If we can just take a minute. Go ahead, babe.

Well, let's talk about our sponsor. One of my favorite is Noom.

We love these guys.

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No, you haven't.

In my older age. Yes, I have. Especially being hormonal.

You're so fine.

Am I?

Go ahead.

Even with my granny sweater on.

Well, go ahead.

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I just eat chicken and drink water.

I know, I know you're very disciplined. But for those of us who haven't been very disciplined, losing weight is overwhelming. Listen, not with Noom. I started gaining probably in my 40s. Really? When menopause set in, I had a hysterectomy. I was sluggish and I wanted to feel better. And when I started NOOM a few months ago, it's a totally different approach. Totally different. It's psychology driven and it helps you recognize the triggers that make you want the ice cream or when you're sad, you eat or when you're whatever. When you eat. When you're mad at your spouse, you just want to go eat lots of.

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Yeah, it does.

I heard a singer the other day who had almost got morbidly obese. He said, I got the surgery, the lap band, I think they call it. He said, and I lost a lot of weight. He said, bless you. And he said, but I gained it all back. I said, why? He said, because I didn't change my psychology.

It's true.

That's what he said.

And so change your mind, change your life.

Change your mind, you change your life. And so Noom helps do that. We're so grateful for these guys. I want to be able to ask the next question.

Do it.

Okay, let's bring Darling's lovely wife back up. I don't.

You love being called Darryl and the lovely wife.

Yeah, I'm used to it. I've been.

I've been with this. That's what they. That's what they do to me. Ron and his lovely wife.

I'm like, I have a name that's a couple.

Would you rather be called lovely than.

Than granny sweater? So anyway, I'm going to take this granny sweater off. Go ahead.

Yeah, I won't cry if you take it off at all. So anyway, we had our first kid, chase, who's now 28. Honestly, I don't know how else to say it. Not on negative confession, just being honest. He just, like, killed us. And it was drugs and alcohol and addicted on a level and enslaved on a level that I just. I'd never seen and didn't know could happen. And the fact that it had entered our roof, come under our roof, blew me away. Because I raised all my kids the same. Same values, same faith, same expectations of them all. But once he went down that road, it gripped him. And, I mean, you know, when you start, you think you can handle it, then all of a sudden you turn around and it's got you. And I didn't know what to do. And this went on for a long time. I mean, seven totaled, seven cars. I personally carried him into emergency rooms, unconscious. Twice. OD'd. Terrible. I could tell you story after story. That's not what the podcast is about. And after going through all these things with our son, Bishop Jakes had really been a voice in my life. Sometime I told Hope, I said, I just got to talk to somebody. I said, because nothing I'm doing is working. And I'm getting this to set you up to talk a little bit more about your story, because we want to hear it. Bishop Jakes. I sat there and I cried and I wailed and I snorted and I boo hooed and everything else. And Bishop Jakes looked at me and he said, are you through? I was like, you know? And he said, ron, he said, you kids are so sick of being a pawn in your play. And he began to wear me out for about the next 30 minutes. And this is what he hit on. He said, your son is not going to connect with your victories. He said, and all you've let him see is your victories.

Right?

He said, therefore, you're not real to him. He said, you're going to have to go find your son, get him off the street and tell him every vile, carnal, negative, bad, stupid, dumb thing you've ever done.

And that was hard for you?

Yes, it was. Because I didn't want my kids to see that. And he said, that will begin the turnaround. And I'm telling you, I did that. It was one of the most amazing things that happened in both of us that night as we both sat in my truck and we wept bitterly over what I was telling him. And it didn't change that night, but it started turning that night because all of a sudden, he connected with something that was real. Too many people who have gained the status that you have gone to in life, they won't turn around and share their pain. Yeah, but, Darrell, that's what people connect with. Yeah, they don't connect with victories, they don't connect with triumphs, but they connect with pain. Talk about that.

That's so good. And I'm glad you shared that with us, because that has been our life story, is sharing with our children our real pain of the things that we had to experience in life. I didn't share my. My greatness of being a great baseball player to my kids. You know, people are say, who is your dad? Don't you know who your dad is? He was this great baseball player, and he had all these troubles, and, you know, he could have been in the hall of Fame. And my daughters be like, my dad's a preacher. So they. So they see me different because of what we were able to explain to our kids about our life. You know, we. We don't hide anything from them. We lay it all out on the table and put it all out on the table. And especially for my boys, you know, when they've had their own personal struggles with the drinking and the women, I said, listen, you don't want to go down this road. Your dad been down. I told you before, this is what I was, an alcoholic, womanizing, drug addict, center. You don't need to go down this road. I explained and showed the painful pits of my life to them. I wanted them to see that. And that was so important for me. And then Tracy has her own story with that with her kids. But that was so important for me, is to show the kids my scars. Not, not. Not the victories, but the scars I had. And when I was able to show my kids that, I think it gave them a better understanding. Okay. My dad has truly been through something. He has not always been like this because my kids were young when I was playing baseball, so they didn't get a chance to see, you know, the pitfalls and the struggles and the headline news and stuff like that because they were too young. But now, you know, they see today who I am. But I always remind them that, you know, I would once about a time, you know, I had this life here, and I lived a different life. And that was because I was completely separated from who I am today, from God. I didn't have a relationship with God. I was living on my own. My Own thoughts of who I was and everything, and then I can achieve everything. And I think that this woman right here next to me made me realize that. She says, when are you going to take the uniform off and do what God has called you to do?

How did y' all meet?

I never thought about that, lay into that.

We met at a recovery convention. And Daryl, I was. I had one year clean and sober because I lost custody of my sons from active drug addiction and alcoholism. So that in itself was a story. And then I met this one. And, you know, it's interesting because people who are very broken, it's not. Our brokenness is not who we are. Addiction is not who we are. It's the battle we are overcoming. It's the stronghold we are overcoming. It's not our identity.

Right.

So it's easy for us to see the greatness within each other. And what happened with Darrel and I was. We could see the greatness, but we came together and we were still very broken. So we had the desire. Desire to love, because God puts it in there. But desire is not enough.

It was lust at first sight.

It was.

It was all that in a bag of chips. But people run along with lust and they think that's going to be enough. Lust can never be caught, and lust can never be satisfied. So you have this battle that goes on within you. And there was a love, though, because there was a love that was created. And there's a big difference between the desire to love. Everyone has that and the ability to love. We were not able. We were full of desire. We were full of emptiness. Trying to come together and be each other's oneness and be each other's everything. Trying to make each other whole. And it was a recipe for disaster. And it was about five years of major dysfunction and things going back and forth. Me being very codependent, trying to rescue him, save him, and trying to get him to do I. Well, no, because I had to let you go.

You had to let me go?

I had to let him go. And I love. I. You can only love someone and lead them. And then the Holy Spirit. If you're in tune with the Holy Spirit, and if you're not, it's okay, too. Because there's an inner knowing where something has to stop here. When I'm working harder at this than you are, this ain't working.

Yeah.

And every time he would fall and hit rock bottom, he would look up and he would see me and not God, because I'm in the way. And God was very Clear. He said, okay, honey, are you tired? Are you tired? Yeah. Because there's nothing sexy enough you can wear. There's nothing good enough you can cook. There's nothing great enough. No matter how many women you go through, how many times you pick him up until he's ready and until he can see. See me and feel the pain of his consequences and he has to begin to take responsibility for his own self, as I had to do. He's not going to get well.

Because only Jesus can satisfy those longings. People can't. Stuff can't.

Jesus can heal these wounds.

You know, it's so funny you say that, because now I'm hearing it over and over. Hope was raised in an extremely difficult environment. She had a lot of broken places that admittedly she didn't share with me because when she met me, I was already a preacher boy. And she, you know, wanted.

And I was. And I was a master presenter because I had to be. Because you had to be perfect in my world. So I wanted to present perfect to Ron. So I didn't want to show him my brokenness and my flaws and my issues. So I kept putting the mask on.

And I knew nothing about the abuse. I knew nothing about the beatings. I knew nothing about the rape. I didn't know anything about any of it. But I had this amazing woman that I was just smitten by and so in love with, but she was deteriorating right in front of me and I had no knowledge. I didn't know what to do. I was a man of great faith. I trust God and I believe God, but, I mean, she. She was wilting day by day, and I didn't know how to go to it and rescue it. And I learned early on, you can't. I don't care how much you love somebody, you can't will them to be free.

No.

Right.

It has to be inside. I thought that for my son, I thought I could get him there.

Yeah.

And the fact is, get him in.

The right church service, get him under the right evangelist, all that.

Then the spirit of God spoke to me. Because you're talking about tired, my son. Oh, my gosh, exhausted. I mean, I sent him to one rehab. Insurance didn't cover a dime, and it was 1700 a day.

Yeah.

I mean, we were exhausted financially. We were exhausted by the 3 o' clock in the morning phone calls, exhausted by cops in the church saying, tell your son to get out of this house. It's about to go down.

He exhausted his guardian angel.

Yeah, his guardian angel was Exhausted when it was over, you know, so that's how chaotic our world was. And Hope a lot during that same time. That's when my decline, she started on that decline. So I got all this stuff in my house that's falling apart. And I mean, like, hey, I love Jesus and I love God, what's happening to my world here? And I learned the hard way. And it was. I must be hard headed because I thought for a long time, time I could do it, that I thought, you must be, what, hardheaded. Oh, I thought I could get somebody across the finish line of freedom myself. Yeah. The spirit of God did speak to me one day and said, how long are you going to intercept pain? Because I would get in between my kid and what he did and not let his consequences affect him. So in his mind, there was no incentive, incentive to change because daddy's going to take the blunt of it. And when I got out of the way, I made him leave the house. That was one of the hardest days of our life. That was terrible. And when I got out of the way and he found out what his consequences of his actions were without anybody intercepting them, that's when real change started to happen in his life. And I think Hope would probably tell you in her life, you know, you had to get to the place this. I'm on the bottom now. Yeah, I'm on the bottom. Tell them about that.

Yeah, just, you know, just Ron was my everything, really. I mean, really, he really was. And he still is.

Sweet dang purple sweater and all, anyway.

But honestly, I kind of felt like Ron was my safety net, you know, and he'll catch me. Ron will catch me. Ron will make this okay. And when I came to Ron in 2013 and just laid everything he had suspected. We'd been fighting for nine years and struggling for nine years. But when in 2013, I just told him everything, laid everything out, I thought he was going to be my rescuer, he was going to fix this. And he said, you got 30 minutes, get your stuff, get out. But it was the best thing that ever happened to me. Thus the title of my book, the Most Beautiful Disaster. Because all I had was Jesus. I didn't have church, I didn't have a salary, I didn't have insurance, I didn't have my husband. I had no hope of ever being in ministry again. And I was at a crossroads. I tell people jokingly now, I say, you know, I could have gone to Miami and sold margaritas on the beach, or I could have really dug in and Got my healing and I did. I plugged in to Jesus for the very first time. I felt I just ran smack dab into the love of Jesus for the first time in my life at 43 years old. Been preaching about it, heard about it, talked about it, but never knew it.

That's right. And it's key. And hope, what you're saying is the truth. It's key. And we can try everything under the sun. I tried it. We can try to rescue Pastor Ryan, as you were about talking, talking about. We can try to rescue our loved ones all we want to, but until they are ready. And that is so hard because you watch when death is breathing down the doorstep. Because I've been doing Crisis Ministry for 20 years and we lose a lot of them. When death is breathing down the doorstep, when you have to bury kids and things like that, because those are realities. Are they going to go to jail? Is this going to ruin their life? Are they going to get a felony? It goes on and on and on. Am I going to get that from call at 3:00 in the morning? So we're keeping it real, real right now because this is what parents go through, this is what a spouse goes through. This is what families go through. And you don't sleep and you don't eat. And if you're married, the other kids suffer. Families. The enemy comes in and just rips families apart. Wants to rip families apart. And only the power of God can change a soul. But let me tell you, what God does is he works through people. Let's go back there. How many times does God send people into our lives? So whoever's listening to this, God is chasing you through people. God is chasing you through a solution. But he needs you to reach out and help. Usually never looks like you want it to look like. It doesn't sound like you want it to sound like every fiber in your being wants to resist the miracle that's showing up for you. I'm telling you, somebody please hear me. Because God is chasing you. Reach out, grab the hand of hope. Because we can't just do it alone. You can't sit in a Bible study or just pray a prayer yourself. This is a bondage. This is a stronghold. This is the enemy coming for your life to steal, kill and destroy. That's why the body of Christ, he sends angels through people. If I had wings on me right now, it's going to show up tough and strong like me. Usually, yes. Something you want to do, something you don't want to see. When you reach out and you say yes to that hope, and that helps. That's when the miracle begins. All hell breaks loose. But the moment you say yes and you make the hardest decision, that's when the victory starts.

Amen. Darrell. Darrell, you said yes. Then what?

Then I went into action. I got into action. I had to get into action, you know, because I always say you, you could pick your sins, but you cannot pick your consequences. That's a real thing that I learned more than anything because I heard my wife say that and I was thinking about that. I used to pick all those sins, but I couldn't pick the consequences that was coming with that, you know, So I had to say yes. I had to be persistent to go after Jesus. I had to surrender myself daily. Still to this day, I surrender myself daily. When I get up every day to worship God and thank God, you know, for his grace and mercy, that I don't deserve the grace that's been given to me. I understand it's something I don't deserve, but he gives it to you anyway. So that makes me grateful for who God is, you know, not, not about me. You know, we can look at ourselves from the fleshly standpoint, but I no longer look at that. When I started operating in the spirit of God and, and the supernatural spirit of the Holy Spirit and started to let the Holy Spirit lead me and guide me and teach me, he started teaching me the Bible supernaturally. He started teaching me about me, started teaching me how to live, started teaching me who I need to associate myself with. He started teaching me how to remove myself from certain things. And I, I was able to do that because I became obedient. You know, I came obedience into the Word and listening and became faithful to who God is, not who people are. And I think that was really turned the corner for me. When I said yes, you asked me hope. When I said yes, it's a three letter word. Y, E, S. You enjoy salvation. I get to enjoy salvation because I.

Said yes, that's so good. And I'm sure too, I'm sure there were things that, that broke off of you instantly, but I know from my own life there's a whole lot more that you had to be intentional about and renewing your mind. Like you just said, the people, the places, the things you couldn't do anymore. You couldn't go to the boundaries you had to put in your life. And I think that's so important for us to tell our listeners because so many people in church have heard, well, go the altar Let Jesus do it all. Just shamalama, ding dong, and everything's gonna be all right. And that's not always the case.

That's not it. You have to go to a deeper place. You have to go to a place of consecrating yourself. You know, you have to go to a place of saturating yourself in the word of God. You have to go into a place of not just going to the altar, but you have to get into your own private little closet with God and say, here I am, God. Here are the things that I need to get delivered from. And it's a process. It's not overnight miracle, you know, overnight miracle. It's a process that he starts delivering you from things one thing at a time. Because I tell people all the time, you didn't get in this mess overnight.

That's so good.

You know, it's going to take a process to walk this out. And you're going to have to be faithful to God and you're going to have to learn how to walk with God to be able to have the victory over all these things that's been in your life for a long time. You know, and I know the deep hurt, you know, that we go through, what you went through, Hope, what I was in, a deep hurt of rejection, loneliness, you know, beatings from my father, you know, left me scarred. But I had to get healed from that. So what I had to do is I had to go back and I had to forgive. I had to forgive my father for that. The forgiveness was not for my father. When I went to the hospital, hospital to see him, and I prayed for him and I led him to the Lord. The forgiveness was for me. God said. God said I stayed broken all those years because I wouldn't forgive him. If we hold somebody hostage, then how can we be free? And God reminded me about that. He says, how dare you not give him the grace that I extended to you.

So good.

The grace to you. I gave it to you. So I want to teach you how to give it to somebody else so I can set you free. And eventually, I was set free from all those things, for doing some of those things, important steps in my life.

Yeah. Forgiveness is huge in our own personal healing. I know that and you know that from what we went through. I mean, because when we're violated, we feel like we have the right to hold on to that bitterness because you did this to me. I should have the right to be angry. I should have the right to be hurt. But we don't. Because it does, like you said, hold us hostage. We have got to forgive, to set ourselves free if we never get an apology.

Right, right. We just need to get victory over those things that keep us stuck in place. You know, it keeps us there bound and we can't get free. And we're holding that and we're not allowed to experience the freedom that God wants us to have. You know, I saw my wife have the freedom. She had experienced so many things. I was wondering, well, why I'm not, why am I not having the freedom? But I saw her wake up every morning at 5:30 and get up to be with God. And I was like, God, I'm not getting up at 5:30 in the morning.

God, can't you talk to me at 8?

I know, but she has been faithful for all these years with God. She gets up and roll out of the bed at 5:30 still to this day. And that's why she has been healed from all these things that have afflicted her, you know, because God has healed her through the process of that. Rich. Really time on time with God, you know, and I think that's where a lot of people don't go deep enough with God. They want the victory. I come down to the altar, I want the victory, but then what I do next. It's about what you do after you go down to the altar.

Yes.

And you get, you get that revelation from God. Now you go and have this relationship with God so he can help you and he can heal you. He can do the deep surgery that he needs to do on the inside of you. Because we all have to be fleshed out at some point, point in time.

And I think it's important. Like you're saying the altar is a starting point.

Yes.

Forgiveness is a starting point. Forgiveness is the gateway to healing. And what people really don't understand is they're struggling with healing, not unforgiveness. But if you do not say and bring them to the cross and say, I forgive so. And so I forgive, Daryl. I forgive. And say that name out loud. Because forgiveness is not our work. It's the finished work of the cross of Jesus Christ. It can never be accomplished. It's not a feeling. It's a spiritual step. It's a step of faith. And then the gateways of heaven open. Our faith in Jesus Christ is confessed. Now all the benefits, forget not all the benefits. And I don't want to preach here. I just let you know it's hard for me not to do because people get stuck here and they say, I forgive. I forgive. I forgive. And they think that's it. Forgiveness is an entryway into the pathway of healing. Boundaries. You have to examine your relationships. Does this person. Can this person still be in my life? In a relationship? If you're married, you can't just chuck it in and say, I'm getting divorced.

Right.

But you can. Your power is your boundaries.

Yeah.

So there's these words that we're, all four of us are exchanging here in the conversation. And they're all important and they come together. They're different pieces of the puzzle.

So it is. What we're saying is it's a process. It's a process to get where we are today. It didn't happen in an instant. It happens in a process. And it's constant pursuit of being more like Jesus. Right? Jesus wants us to.

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He wants us free body, soul and spirit. So we're gonna talk about one area that can really be wrapped up and you can really maximize. It's one of our sponsors, Chime.

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Chime.com Ron and Oats I want the last question.

All right? You. You said a thing that I talk about a lot. You know, the boundaries. Ezekiel 47. I try to give everything a biblical analogy. Talks about A river that flows out of the throne of God. And said, on the banks of the river were the trees, and on those leaves were healing. In other words, they were healing on the banks, not in the river with the boundaries. And it said, where there are no banks, it said, it's a swamp and nothing can live. In other words, water with no boundaries. A life with no boundaries becomes a swamp. There's not going to be any life there. And the fruit did not grow in the water because everybody talks about with church, get in the river. The fruit grew on the boundaries. The only reason that river lived is because it had banks so good. And I've always told most of the time, when it comes to anything like an addiction, I would always say, who? Because the Bible says, who has bewitched you? The Bible says, who can separate you from love? It's never what it's always. And I told my son, I said, you know what? If you can ever get away from them, you'll stop that. Because the only time you do that is when you're with them. And just talk a little bit in these last few minutes about the importance of. After you're really digging in, that healing, about putting boundaries to make sure this cycle doesn't repeat itself, either one of you. Doesn't matter. You can talk about it.

You love boundaries. You love it more than I do.

Boundaries were my rescue because I didn't understand. I kept going to the altar and praying and all of those things. And this is a good place where godly counsel can come in. And boundaries is your lifeline. It's where you draw the line in the sand. And boundaries is saying, I will no longer participate in death, dysfunction, or defeat. That's what my boundary is saying. And boundaries are established. And you have to look at the relationship with your end. If you're in a spouse relationship and you have to establish boundaries there, it's your safeguard, believe it or not. And boundaries create. They create unity and not division, although it feels like you're divided. So you have to look at the situation, for instance, where there was infidelity and adulteries, because that was going on in our relationship. My boundary is, I love you with every fiber in my being. But. But we are not going to sleep together until this marriage bed is okay, until you're ready to give up Cindy, Sue, Sally and whoever. Then this is how it's going to be like, I'm going to be living over here, you going to be living over there, and I'm going to love you through the love of Jesus. But not all this.

I'm going to love you from the guest room.

That's exactly right. And it's extremely difficult. And know this too, whoever's listening, that when you establish a boundary, every. It seems like every demon in hell comes out. It gets harder because the enemy knows that you just took a stand for your win. The enemy knows that you just said, enough, devil. That's it. And I'm going to take a stand for myself. And that. Because when you do things God's way and the principles God's way, it gets the person's attention, and it's not always easy. But boundaries are a lifeline. You establish. You establish the yield.

Yes.

For victory. And you just. It's like kicking the d. Well, I.

Think boundaries really help the other person get well too, because when. When you took a stand like that with me, it helped me examine myself and look at myself.

Yes.

And not look at the situation or the circumstances. You know, made me, you know, really take time to look at myself and say, I. I got to become better at who I am. God created me better for this, and I. I just need to step into the better me, you know, And I thought, you know, the addiction part of my life was not the addiction, Ron. It was the. It was the behavior of who I was, which is done. It wasn't the addiction apart. It was the behavior of who he was and who he was running with. That's where the dysfunction comes about, and that's where you have to set your boundaries in those areas. And you say, I can no longer ghost to these places. I could no longer associate myself with these people. And that's what I had to come to. I had to set. I had to set myself up for that, where I had to make a change. And I really had to do that by allowing God to transform me. I needed a transformation in my life to become better at who I was and the behavior of who I was. Because the drugs was just a symptom of who I was, but the behavior who I was was never dealt with. And. And that's what happens. We. For over a long period of time, we accumulate this behavior. Who we become and not able to get well is because we live in the behavior. He doesn't want to use drugs. I didn't want to use drugs, but the behavior of who I was was never changing because you never got to the root. I never got to the root of it, and I never got. I never set up any boundaries for myself to block myself from certain situations and people, places and things. And I just kept, you know, piling into those places. Yeah, but it's just like going to the barbershop. If you sit there long enough joking around, one day you're gonna jump in the chair, you're gonna get a haircut, too, right?

Yeah, that's just.

That's what it all boils down to. You got to stay away from places where you don't need to be. And when you decide you don't need to be in these places, now you set up some real boundaries for yourself, and now you allowing yourself to get well.

I had a mentor in my life. I don't want to name drop, but he's very well known, and I remember he made a statement to me. Ah, it made so much sense. He said, ron, when the right people start entering your life and the right things start happening, he said, when the wrong people exit your life, wrong things stop happening. And I have found he was about dead on.

Yeah.

And that. Right.

So that's why our circle is about this big around. Right?

Right.

It's me and you.

Me and you, baby.

It is.

We get it. And we. Sure. I listen, I. I can tell you guys, we. We just now getting to know you guys, but we surely appreciate you guys, you know, to be able to, you know, have us come on and really open up and share your story. And we share our story because it's like so many of us, like, got so many hidden agendas. We don't have any hidden agendas. You know, we're free. We got victory, you know, through. Through Christ, you know, because of. Because of standing on the principles and who we are. And, you know, we're faithful to each other. We're faithful to God, and we're faithful to call upon our life, you know, to help the multitude of people. And. And it takes real people, like, to be able to sit down and really talk about real things. Yes. We could talk about easy thing. We talk about, oh, I'm blessed and highly favored and I got it all together, you know, but we don't never really want to talk about the pain. I love talking about the PA. Pain of who we were because we got. We've been delivered from it.

Yes.

And it's. And it's what helps other people get on the other side, and it does. That they have to face in life because we all have challenges.

And, you know, that's what y' all do now. That's what you do now. 100%. You've given your life to that. Tell people where they can find You?

Yeah.

Where can they find you?

Oh, they can go to strawberryministries.org or.

If they just go to finding your way calm.

Finding your way calm.

Yeah.

There's several different ways to get us. Findingyourway.com is easier to spell, and people get there fast.

So that's the title of a book too, right?

Well, yes.

Yes. Y' all written books are finding your way.

Yes.

And you got a new book coming out.

I do.

When is that coming out?

Tracy, the courage to heal in October.

Congratulations. Congratulations.

Thank you. To healing.

Thank you guys for the endorsement.

Yes, absolutely.

We appreciate it.

And I'm so thankful that God brought you into our life. And when I met Tracy, I just fell in love with her. I'm like, listen, we could kick it. Me and this girl could kick it.

I agree.

And I. I love you guys.

She's a simple Midwestern girl who taught me how to shop at Walmart.

Well, I'm more. I'm more of a Amazon.com in debt.

And you have nothing.

That's what I'm just saying.

You get together, it's like our budget is $20 a week. This is how you do it.

Well. Well, I'm an Amazon.com girl. That's where I get my granny sweaters. Y', all, we love you so much. We gotta get together.

We'll get a lot of friends.

We are so grateful that y' all came on today, and we are so proud of you. Before we go, would you just pray for the listeners who are listening to say, man, I've been. I have been stuck in this sin cycle. I've been stuck in this addiction. I. I am ready to change my life. Would you just pray today that God would lead them and guide them?

Father, we just take this time out to pray. We pray for the listeners. Father, we pray for those that may be stuck in wherever they are. Father, we ask that you meet the need of them right where they at. I ask that you touch them supernaturally. And may these words that we speak today, we speak life over them. We speak that no weapon formed against them shall prosper. They're more than conquerors through Christ Jesus. Father, we know that the enemy is busy, Lord, but we're busy, too. We're busy seeking the kingdom of God. We're busy praying for people. We ask that you crown them from the top of the head to the bottom of their feet, strengthen them in every area of their life. The weakness that is there. Father, we know that your grace is sufficient and we know that the strength is strong even in the weakness of who we are, Father. So we ask that you would move on them mightily, Father, and we thank you for it right now. We send up this petition to you right now. And we ask that you seal it over there. And we ask you, Holy Spirit, supernaturally touch the hearts of the people right now. Penetrate the hearts, minister to them, convict change, challenge. We know when you convict change, challenge, you bring a greater purpose for why we're here. And we're here for great things. For your kingdom and your glory. Lord, we thank you right now. And we give you honor and glory in Jesus name, Amen. We love you.

Thank you for being here. Until next time, Ron. And hope unfiltered.

God bless you.