Hope + Ron: Unfiltered - The Power of Accountability

Foreign. Hello, everybody. It's Ron and Hope. Unfiltered. Real raw. Relevant. Season two, week 26. Can you believe that? It's hard to believe we're halfway through season two.

No.

What's wrong? I'm talking about the podcast, and you.

Said I cheated when I went back to my office a minute ago. Yeah, I drunk a Coke.

Oh, my gosh, Ron.

You know, I. I didn't. I shouldn't have done it. And it's telling on me now. I just, like, feel.

Just don't burp.

Yeah, that's what I'm talking about.

How do you do it? You feel?

I just did it.

You burped.

Run. Real wrong. Relevant.

Okay. Jesus.

I mean, right? But it was so good.

Was it?

It's a little cheap for me, so I had some coming in here and I'm paying for it right now.

I don't even like Coke. I like Diet Coke.

How are we gonna get people to stay and listen to what we're about to talk about? Well, how are we gonna get them not to just. I don't want to talk about that. Well, I don't know, because it's this. There's no way. There is no way this topic can be talked about and it not sting a little bit.

Yeah. What we talking about? Burping?

About accountability.

Oh, we're talking about accountability in general. The lack of. The need for. The absence of all the above.

We. We now have cultivated a culture. I don't like to use the word generation because that's an age group. We've just. We have cultivated a culture in America of nobody can tell is going to tell me what to do.

Can't nobody tell me.

Nobody's going to tell me what to do.

And especially you can't judge me.

Listen, nobody can judge me. And they brag that I don't listen to nobody. And the Bible is full, especially the book of Proverbs that he who despises instructions is a fool. Fool.

Yeah.

Is a fool. I have something that I live by that I talk to my pastors and even staff about. Let my pain be your wisdom. Yeah. If you listen to nobody and are accountable to nobody, then you have now just made it where the only way you can learn is by failure.

Yeah, that's true.

So you now, the only way you can be taught, the only way you can grow is by failure. So you're going to have to fail and go through the pain of the failure and all the exhaustion and energy of picking up the pieces after the failure. And that's the only way you can learn. Because I don't listen to nobody.

And it's so annoying.

Ain't nobody going to tell me what to do.

It's so annoying. When you know, you're sitting here and you've got somebody in your life, whether it's a friend, a co worker, a kid, a spouse, anybody. And you know you've got an answer. You see what they're going through, you see the problems in their life, and you know God's given you wisdom in that area. You've lived it, you've been through it, and you're trying to help. And they're yeah, but, yeah, but, yeah, but. And they will not listen to anything.

I'll just get quiet. That'll shut me down. I'm like, the Bible says, do not take your pearls and cast them before swine. And you say, well, that's a pretty hard comment to call somebody a pig. What he's talking about is you don't take the things that cost you, the precious things, the things I paid a price for precious things, and throw that information out. That could be a savior to you, to people who do not value it. That's what that scripture means. And there are things in mind in your life especially, we have paid a great, great price for. And because of it, we know what to do and what not to do.

Yeah. In certain areas, we don't know everything. And age doesn't make you just glow in the dark with wisdom.

It's your experience.

Yes, it's your experiences. And when you see somebody who's been through a lot and they're still overcoming, they're still thriving, they're living their best life, you better listen. You better listen to what they have to say, especially if they're willing to invest in you and pour into you.

I want to talk about that. How to make the greatest withdrawal from people. Now, I'm going to tell you, to a lot of you, and especially the younger generation, but to this culture, even church culture, this is going to be a strange sound. Because when I came up through ministry, everybody was accountable to somebody or nobody would attend your church.

Right.

Everybody in the pew wanted to know you were accountable to somebody.

Well, even I think biblically, accountability is so important because they would always list lineage. So and so begat so and so, so and so begot so and so. And that made you credible because they knew where you had come from, what.

Is the verse, and who had trained.

You and who had fathered you and who had poured into you.

There's A verse in the Bible, and it is an obscure verse back in the minor prophets. And it goes through begot, begot, begot, begot. I mean, it goes through like a page of them. Then it says there was no record of him, of him found in this lineage. So he was no longer a part of the priesthood.

Right.

So in other words, your being qualified to be in the ministry or in the priest was by whom?

Who begot you, who trained you, who.

Went before you, what stream?

Who opened the door for you?

Who opened the door, who birthed you? And if they could not trace that, you were not allowed to be in ministry. We have people in ministry now with no spiritual lineage.

Right.

It's being looked at as a career gig. And now we have that culture, has cultivated a church culture where the people we no longer respect authority. Hope. I remember a day when I hear people talk in politics, when I hear the presidents in their debates, the way they talk to each other, it makes my heart grieve.

That's only been in the last 10, 16 years.

It's been the last 10, 15 years. There was a day where a Democrat and a Republican going up against each other. They had different ideologies, they had different visions for America, but they respected each other. Deep honor and respect in.

In respect for the office, respect for the House, respect for what they were.

Doing go all the way back to me, Reagan, and then the other side, the speaker was Tip O'. Neal. And I remember back, even as a kid, 11, 12 years old, those two guys, their vision and their ideologies couldn't have been more polar opposite. But I mean, those guys would go sit down and have a steak together. Those guys had deep respect for one another because they were honorable people. And today, what all that has gone out the door. And it grieves my heart that nobody can treat with no honor and respect.

Well, listen, we are in a fallen.

State of society and it fell fast. A culture of disrespect, which I could get into spiritual things, is a culture of Jezebel. It's a culture of disrespect, a culture of dishonor or no honor and a culture of no accountability. And we're proud of it.

Right? Right.

We're proud.

We trumpet it.

We proud.

Yeah. Put it on our back.

I just want to tell you how anti b Biblical that is. That is. And I want to bring us back to some Bible, because I will tell you something. Everybody needs someone in their life. I'm not talking about a friend.

Right.

We talked about friends in the last podcast. Everybody needs somebody in their life that can yank your chain, and they are not impressed with you. And their chief place in your life is to anchor you to your character.

Yeah.

That's what they do. They anchor you to what is right. They look at your life objectively and unbiased, and they are. They don't worry about whether or not you're impressed with them. Okay. Everybody needs that. If you don't have that, I'm going to go on record and tell you you are functioning at a deficiency in your life. And just because somebody somewhere abused authority does not mean we take authority and throw it out. So I know a lot of people, they don't serve God because they got hurt by somebody who did. If. If somebody can destroy your relationship with God, was your relationship ever with God?

No.

I mean, I. I love all y', all, but I plan on serving God no matter if everybody goes crazy tomorrow. Right. You. You know what I'm talking about. So long and short of it. I just want to get back to accountability. We have an accounting office here at church. It's locked. You can only get in by fingerprint. I've been here five years now at this location. I've been in there two times. Okay. There's cameras everywhere. Then we have a third party who's totally unbiased, come from the outside, and we pay them $60,000 to audit everything we do and bring it into account. Why do we do that? For proper and efficient function. Okay.

For safety.

Safety. So accountability is my safety.

So good.

Okay. So what goes on in that room and what goes on with that 60. That's the best. $60,000 because it allows me to go.

To sleep knowing everything.

And redemption is in compliance with irs, and redemption is compliance with hr, and redemption is in compliance with accounting, ethics and everything else. And I go to bed. Why? Because we have made ourselves accountable and we have invited it into our life.

So good, Ron. We invite it. We pay for it.

Yeah. I wanted it so bad that I bring it in here and I pay for it. And if we're not. And here's the thing. And here's the thing. Every time after they finish the audit, they have what's called the Presidential sheet.

Yes.

Where if there's anything they saw, controls we could put in, things we could modify, holes they saw in our system, they would come and they had a meeting with me.

Right.

And say, this is where you can make it better. I embrace that meeting.

Absolutely.

Why here again? Because making myself accountable is not diminishing me no, it makes you better safe.

Yes.

Now, I don't really want to do this in marriage, but just let me show a few examples, then I'm going to go into the biblical charge for accountability. You. You. I tell people I'm accountable. I don't have the Promise Keeper thing with a guy. I'm accountable to you.

Right.

There is no part of my life. Guys are going to twitch when they hear me say that. You can't call into account. Not one. You can call my phone into account. You can call my money into account. You can call my schedule into account. There is not one part of my life that I hide from you.

Yeah. And vice versa.

Exactly. Why? Why? That makes you feel safe.

Yes.

And it makes me feel safe. If there was a.

Do we like it all the time.

But if there was an area of my. Where you can see all these. But I'm just.

I'm gonna keep this.

I'm gonna kind of work this myself.

Yeah.

What is that gonna do to you?

Oh, it makes me very suspicious. Makes me feel very unsafe.

Right.

Like something's wrong here.

Why? What is it he does not want me to see.

Right.

What is it he does not want me to know? There must be painful on something painful on the other side. Now, let me bring this to God, because I do know we probably have some people that, you know, watch our podcast that aren't particularly church people. And I welcome you and I'm glad you're here. Let me tell you what the Bible says. This may be one of the most key chief characteristics of accountability that nobody really ever talks about or looks at in the Bible. Galatians 4, verse 1. He's been talking about, we Christians are the seeds of Abraham in Galatians 3, and heirs according to the promise. So everything promised Abraham, I'm going to make you great, make you a great nation. Bless those who bless you through Jesus Christ. That promise went all the way to Ron Carpenter and my house.

Right.

I am an heir of that promise because I am Abraham's seed by being Jesus seed. Okay, so that's the context. Then he gets to chapter four, and he says, now an heir. Okay. All these promises are yours.

Yep.

But an heir as long as he's a child differs none from a slave, though he is master of all.

Right?

So I may be. God may have promised me that. And through Jesus Christ, this amazing life is mine in Jesus Christ. Thank you, Lord. He says, but if I am locked in an immature state, I can't locked out. I'm no different from a Slave, even though I'm master of all. So it's condition and position. Yeah, positionally I own it all, but conditionally, I can't experience it because of my immature state. Somebody says, what does this have to do with accountability? Hang on. Then we go to verse two. But has kept us under stewards and guardians until the time appointed by the father.

All right, stop right there.

You can't stop me in the middle of that.

I got to. I gotta stop you.

I feel the annoyance.

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We have all these promises, but if I'm walking in immaturity, although there might I put it this way, way out here in Silicon Combat. Take Bill Gates. I don't care if people like him. I'm just using an analogy. Take Bill Gates. Okay, let's say Bill Gates has a son. I don't know if he has any kids. I don't know anything about him. Let's say he has a son. Let's say his what? $200 billion, you know, empire is to go to his son at age 25. Okay, let's say his son is 19.

Okay?

He could be living under a bridge, homeless.

It's true.

Positionally, he's master of all. Yeah, but he's in an immature state. He's not at the place of maturity where it can be released biblically until you have been, what, the time appointed by the father. Okay, who appoints the time? So what does this say? God has prearranged blessings already in store. Not waiting for God to do something.

Waiting for me to become mature.

Wait for me to become something.

Yes. So good.

And it is released at the moment that I become something. Not once I've prayed God into doing something.

Oh, that's so good.

Okay, so how do I become that? He puts me under.

Come on, say under somebody. Say under.

Under. Guardians and stewards. Until the time appointed by the father. I have had about four such men in my life.

Yeah.

None of those men were my friend. All of those men could jerk and did jerk my chain at some time or another. All of those men have permission to speak hard to me. Not because they wanted to.

No, to make you cry.

All of those men had. All of those men were not impressed with me at all.

Yeah.

So if people come in and start googling, gogging over the life you build, they're not it.

No.

But these men come in and they're totally, completely unimpressed.

You as a person, not. Not what you do, not your gifts.

So here's a Miles Monroe. He just walked in. $50 million campus, $42 million campus building packs, standing room only, tear down service. Everything was good. And I go get back in the room and I'm like, what'd you think? Tell me, how's your marriage? No, no. What did you think about service tonight? No, I don't like the look on Hope's face. That's what they do. They're not impressed with that service.

Right.

And I'm impressed with how many people.

Talk to you about your character, about.

Your attitudes, about your marriage, about your relationship, about your priorities. How are you managing your life?

Yes.

I've had many of them come up and say, are you getting any rest? You don't look right. I don't like the look in your eyes, you know, And I remember one, that I am their spiritual father. I'm their mentor. And they left my life because I think they were wanting this. And. And I knew God was this. So he come in and had his wife with him. And this guy bragged and bragged and paced and bragged, and they've outgrew this and he's outdone that. And he just did this and he's got invited and she's just sitting there. And I just look at him and he gets through and he says, what do you think? I said, I think I don't ever want to see you come in here and me see your wife. Looking like that. Again, like that. Crickets.

Yeah.

That man never came back.

No.

To my life. Why? Totally unimpressed with his accomplishments. But what was I trying to beat him? I care for what I see happening right here. And there's something that if something's not done right here, this is not going any well.

Right. Right.

I see this going downhill.

So it's just like the accounting department. So until you're open to receive that accountability, there's something you're hiding.

It's like Bishop Jakes, the time I went and just wept over the difficulty of Chase. Struggle with drugs. My oldest son. And I'm not going that story because that would take a whole 30 minutes telling that. But the things that he told me. I hope it almost hurt my feelings. But he's not impressed with Ron Carpenter.

No, he's trying to help you. He's trying to strengthen your character.

And what he asked me to do was one of the most difficult things I've been asked to. But it was. It turned out to be a thing that helped begin to turn my son around because I obeyed. There's another thing. I obeyed an instruction. I obeyed an instruction.

So I love the scripture you read, though. But you. In the scripture, it says to be under. Okay, Under. So to be under, that means the person above you has got to be above you in everything you're trying, that you're trying to go for. It's they. They carry and they exemplify what I want. What I want in my life.

Now, you're not under them if the first time they speak contrary to you, you remove yourself.

Right.

No, that's not.

You're not ready.

Not being. Being under someone is not them telling you how great you are and agreeing with you. There were more times that the voices in my life agree with me more than not. I think they had approval with the way I was trying to lead my life. But there are times where they called things into question. You know, Bishop Tony Miller, we had a weird relationship. It was vertical and horizontal. We were friends. And I had to know how to work that thing because I had to.

That's maturity.

When is he doing this? And when is he doing this? And I had to learn how to work it. But I remember one time he came at me. You remember how I was in my 30s, baby. I just a machine.

The Terminator.

Just a machine. And I loved Jesus with all my heart. But the world's lost, and I got to save it. And I had this work ethic. And I didn't sleep and I didn't stop.

And it's not because they're being mean. It's not because you come into agreement with this relationship. And I've just got to know that I got to let them be mean to me. No, it's not that at all. It's that they love, they value you value, and they see something in you worth investing in. But they do have to challenge you to call you higher.

This is what he did. He came to where we were dedicating that big, almost 5,000 seat dome that we built in Greenville, South Carolina. I hope that was a major accomplishment. It's the biggest. It may still be the biggest church building in the entire state, one of the biggest in the region. It was just a milestone in so many ways. It'd be a place big enough to bring these major voices in that there weren't churches big enough to hold them. It was a game changer. So he came to the dedication. I got up and started casting vision for the next building program. I mean, I went over that thing like. And so after it was over with, we all went out to eat. And he was quiet. And when everybody was kind of talking, he kind of got me to himself. He said, you know, I've noticed a pattern with you. He said, you don't ever let the people celebrate.

He said, you don't memorialize anything. You don't stop long enough.

He said, you don't stop and let the people celebrate accomplishments. He said, do you realize what happened today? He said, and you went over it like a speed bump.

Next. What's next?

Next. Hey, we just dedicated a bit. I didn't want to hear that. But you know what? I went back with tears. I don't know if you remember. And I repented to my staff. And everybody in the room started crying.

Yeah, I remember.

Why? Because they felt the weariness and the pressure of working with a guy who wouldn't let you breathe celebrates a victory.

Who wouldn't let you breathe.

And he said, ron Israel took stones of remembrance. Let's remember this forever what God did. And he challenged me. And ever since then, I have tried to be very intentional about God just did something great. God just did something great. These are the things that happened in my life that I know were game changers. Give one example, then I'm going to Finish out Galatians 4.

The. The voices in my life, man, got a rough one. Pastor Denise. I mean, I just. I just laid down and died basically in the street and said, I'll do whatever you say whenever you Say it however you say, do it. But that was a very drastic time in my life. And I know everybody's not in that state and in that time, but I believe that if I had had voices in my life up to that point.

That's a good point.

I would not have found myself in such a terrible state. I would have had people in my life calling me higher, pointing out things in my life, helping me navigate, you know, motherhood and being a wife. And I did not have that. And I hate that. I regret it. I don't know how I missed it or if there was nobody there. I mean, we just did not have a lot of people in our life early on. When we got married and when we started the church, that were voices to us.

Number one, we were loners, but number two, I don't think nobody knew what to do with us because we were so different than everything that had existed before. I don't think people disliked us. I just don't think people knew what to do with us. So we didn't have anybody.

We didn't. And we paid and we paid heavy. But I'm so thankful to this day. I mean, it's been 10 years that I have had a strong voice in my life, and Pastor Denise is not the only one. I have other voices in my life, but I'm so grateful for it today. Is it easy? No. It's painful at times. Is it aggravating? Absolutely. Is it frustrating to have people call you and say, I heard you preaching and I didn't like your tone in this, or what I'm like, what you know and say, well, you need to go back and evaluate, you know, xyz. And it's hard and it's frustrating, it's embarrassing. And you get that attitude of, I'm a grown woman.

That's what the maturity comes. Until as long as he's a child, he can't receive it. But this is to grow. I'm locked you under guardians and stewards. Why? To get you ready for what the father has for you.

It's iron, sharpening iron. So it's not that you're just less than because you're under, but you are iron. We are all called to be iron, but we need somebody who is thicker, stronger, heavier, sharper than us to make us thicker, sharper, heavier.

If you don't have anybody like this in your life, you need to pray for them. And then let me tell you something. When they enter your life, this is the way you get access. You serve.

Yeah.

Elisha wanted Access to Elijah's anointing. And the Bible said. The Bible? The Bible, Biber.

Here's the word.

The Bible says that he poured water on the hands of Elijah. That was all he did. That's all he did to qualify. He just served him. He just served him.

Service will grant you access.

Yep.

And you want access to somebody great. You serve somebody great.

The anointing upon that person when you serve them. That's where impartation comes from. There's information. You can get that in a class, but then there's impartation. You can't get that in a class. Impartation comes as you serve. The stuff on them is falling on you.

Right.

You don't even know what's happening. They just asked you to go out there if you would, and grab their computer. They left it in the car. But while you are obeying an instruction so good, something is falling on top of you.

I've heard people on staff, like staff people or people who've worked for ministries. Well, I've served this ministry for 10 years or whatever. No, you didn't serve it. You got a paycheck from it. That's not serving. When you work there and you get a paycheck, that's your job. Serving is when you go above and beyond what you're called to do. Serving is when you say, I just want to go on this trip with you, Pastor, and I just want to serve. I just want to be there. I want to work the tape table with you, Pastor Hope. What are you. What are you doing for the birthday party? I'll come over and serve. I'll help you. I mean, that is what serving is. It's not what you do nine to five and you get a paycheck for. It's above and beyond that.

I hate to name drop, so I'm not going to do it. But the people that are like that in my life, they're not many. Two of them have passed, so that circle's really gotten smaller. But the ones left in my life, who I give that authority, I give that place in my life. I remember whenever I go to see them, I don't call and can y' all pick me up? Can y' all carry me to the green room? Can you make sure I'm seated on the stage beside.

No, no.

I go to. And I usually have a gift. Always have a gift, especially if it's greatness. If I'm going in the presence of greatness, I always carry a gift. John Maxwell told me that's how to be an unforgettable person. Always have a gift. Always have a gift. And so these are the things I do. And there's been so many amazing, great men and women of God that something on their life fell on me because we served them, we honored them, and we sowed into them. And you say, how powerful is an instruction? Ron? Do you know what the Bible is? The Bible is a book of instructions. And he who follows instructions is wise.

Wise.

He who follows instructions is wise. When you can take somebody and follow their instructions, you are not destined to repeat their pain.

Oh, this is so good. Ron Carpenter. What a great podcast. Seek out somebody that you can get.

Pray them in your life. Yeah, pray them in your life.

If you can get under that, you can serve, that you can let them cut on you, that you can let iron sharpen iron so that you can be the best, best version of who God created you to be. It doesn't just happen. It doesn't just happen. You have to get under guardians and stewards until you are perfected, until you become mature so that you can inherit everything that God wants you to inherit. So good, babe.

Been a good podcast.

Yes, it has.

I hope people will take this and embrace it. I really do.

So share this. Like it, Share like it.

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Till next time, it's Ron and hope.

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