How to Argue

Hey, everybody. Here we are, Ron and Hope. Unfiltered, real raw, relevant.

I can't say it, so I'll let you do it. Can't say it fast. Do it.

Try it. You can say it. You just acting like you can't say it.

Like I said, I can't say it fast. Couldn't say it fast. In the last podcast, you said Denise is gonna be here in the Presence.

Did I?

Yep. But you know what? I didn't call you out. I just let it go.

But you just called me out, so.

I didn't call you out.

What's the difference?

She's gonna be here in the Presence very soon though, isn't it?

She is in the presence of Jehovah. We're so glad you're here. If this is your very first time tuning in with us, it's gonna be fun.

It is.

It's always fun. But you know what? Today we're going to talk in the mouth.

Put the hook in. We're going to talk about arguing. How to argue. Not arguing.

Yes, arguing how to argue. Because every one of us argues. Right? So how do you do it? How do you do it, Ryan?

I don't. I don't argue back. That's why you get so mad.

No, no. Well, we going to start an argument right here. Because you don't argue. Because you just say how it is. You just try to be the dictator.

No, I just listen to everybody.

Oh, okay, here we go.

I take the high ground and I become a mediator.

And the lightning peacemaker.

And the lightning Jesus said, blessed are the peacemakers to write you. Blessed are the peacemakers. I come in peace.

You know what Ron does when we're in a argument? Quote unquote argument.

I grab your hand. Look at you.

No, he turns it into a full blown sermon. I mean, he.

I'm a teacher.

He's trying to teach me like we're in elementary school. And that ticks me off even more.

Baby, I just want to be an instructor. That's all I want to do.

Oh, I know you do. That's all I want to be. I know. We all know. So when we're in a disagreement, an argument, whatever, we gotta. He makes me sit down now. You come sit down.

She wants to go to bed, child. I'm trying to tell her the Bible says, don't let. Let the sun go down on your wrath. Because if you go to bed mad, you wake up with a little stone in your heart.

Yeah, you do.

So you can't go to sleep on It. You got to stay up and take care of it. That's when I hold your hand and tell you what you want to do.

Really, what I'm trying to do is to walk away so that I don't throat punch you.

You haven't throat punched me in a month or two, though.

Because you hadn't tried to instruct me in a month or two. Oh, it's so hard, isn't it? I mean, seriously. We're making fun and we're laughing and we're talking about our own things, but it is hard.

There's an art to arguing. There's an art to it. There's a way to do it. I try to abide by it. You know, when feelings get involved. When feelings get involved, logic and rationality.

They go out the window.

Yeah. They go out the door. And so I just want to talk about the fact, number one, that arguing is real. That doesn't mean you're not a Christian. It doesn't mean you don't love Jesus. It doesn't mean that.

That you don't love each other.

I want to go all the way back to the beginning about compality and life rhythms. And then I would like to. Compatibility and life rhythms. Compality.

You said. I want to talk about that.

See how healed I am? See how healed I am? It don't even bother me, because true love cannot be offended.

What does that mean?

True love cannot be offended.

Let's see. Compality.

O M P A L I T Y. Compality. What?

That was so funny to me.

But she's gonna be here in the presence. She's gonna be here in the presence.

I'm joking.

On my. You've been smoking.

Oh, may Jesus help me.

You're giving away, baby. But you've been smoking cigarettes. Lord, I do not smoke cigarettes.

Cigarettes. Oh, Ron, compala be. Or whatever you said go.

Look, I really came here to be serious today.

Right?

And I came here to be serious today. Go back to attraction. Okay. Tell them how much you love me. The first time you saw me, you went home and told your mom I could marry him.

I did.

And you had just seen me. You didn't know me.

Cause you were so cute. You had long blonde hair down to here like a mullet.

And my cheeks were red because I'd been playing basketball.

You'd been playing basketball? Yeah. You were so cute.

And you went back and told Mama. What?

I didn't just see you and say that, Ron. We talked. We spent time together that weekend.

You drove my Car.

I drove your car. And then you lied to me. But anyway, I still went back and told my mama that I had met somebody that I thought I could marry. She rolled her eyes and said I was crazy.

Okay, Based on what?

Your presence?

Based on.

No, seriously.

You were attracted.

I was attracted to you. But you were sweet, too. You were so calm and sweet.

I am sweet.

You are sweet. And I had never met a guy who was just really calm and just kind and sweet, and I loved that about you.

All right. Now you're getting serious, ain't you? Now you shifted on me.

Yeah.

All right. The law of attraction. Chaz loves these things. He makes us watch. Was it on YouTube? Love is blind. And what's this other one? There's another one.

I don't know. He makes us watch all these things.

Yeah. My second child, Chaz, he watches these things and then makes us sit down and watch it with him. And one of them, they have to.

Marry at first sight.

Married at first sight. You know, married by being put together by these clinicians and things. Then another one was Love is blind. You got to fall in love and ask somebody to marry you. And you've been talking through a wall. And I said to try to prove that you don't have to be physically attracted. The fact is, it's a package. It's not one or the other. Can I be emotionally connected? And then I'm. Does that matter if I'm physically. It's a package.

I'm just telling you. I could not kiss somebody I wasn't attracted to.

Yeah, that was very important to me, honestly, that you were beautiful. I'm just going to be very real. That's what made you stick out in the crowd to begin with. I didn't see your heart. I didn't see your spirit. I didn't know what your attitude was. I looked down there and saw you. You stuck out. You were prettier than everybody else in the building, than me. And I went that night to find out where you were. But I'm trying to say that's not unholy, you know? Well, you shouldn't be attracted. Yeah, I was. I was attracted because I liked what I saw.

However, it's all changed.

There's got to be a. No, there's got to be a second level. If people commit to each other. Marry out of the law of attraction. Just because you're attracted does not mean you're compatible.

That's right.

There's the. What I call the law of compatibility. I have always said to those Dating. Pardon me? Those dating. They say, how long should you date before you get married? There is no calendar answer.

Right.

You should date. Pardon me. You should date long enough to see the person that you love. In several seasons, Hope's seen me when I've had a little money in my pocket. Hope's seen me when I didn't have anything. She's seen me. She's seen me after a great victory. She's seen me after I tasted defeat. She's seen me when I got a stomach bar. She's seen me when I was the picture of help. She saw me through all these different seasons. Long before we got married. Long before that. So what happens is there needs to be a time where you get to understand the other person's life rhythms. Attraction brings you together. I'm going to argue and just hang on. Attraction brings you together, but that's not the thing that seals the relationship. That relationship, if it's based on that, is destined for a short, hard fuse. It's going to be a buzz, it's going to be fiery, and then it's going to be over.

Because gravity is real.

Yeah. Because when you have to live with somebody that is not fun to live with, they become unattractive very quickly.

Yes.

Okay, so you got. Let me just get some hypotheticals. What do you mean life rhythm, Ron? What are you talking about? Okay. You were raised in a home where you had a mom that stayed home and kept the house. Kept it spick and span, cooked all the meals, had it on the table at 5:30. When Daddy got home, she was over there overseeing you with your homework. Dad was the breadwinner. He took everybody church on Sunday. You went on vacation July 4th. You were raised in that kind of home. She was raised in a home where her dad left when she was two. Mama did work three jobs to put bread on table. She was independent. Had to learn how to keep a house at age 8. And you come together and that didn't respect the man. Like that's not. Didn't respect at all. Heard her mama downing her daddy her whole life. And so you coming together and think that those issues are going to immediately be compatible. I'm going to tell you they're not. I don't care how attracted you are to each other.

Right.

You are going to have to work through those issues and bring it to a life rhythm. You're a night owl, she's a morning person. Okay.

You know, or like me, a 10 to 10 person.

I mean, yeah. Life rhythms. You go out to find Those things out. Women are on cycles. Men are not.

Yeah, they are.

That's a totally different life cycle.

They own one.

That's what I'm talking about. Men are always on the light switch called on and women are on. Their bodies are on cycle.

A little crock pot cycle.

So the fact is all these things about one, you know, one is Christian, one is not. And these are the things, the questions that you can be so head over heels and then the arguing starts that you don't take the time to work these things out. And they have to be worked out. So if they're not worked out prior, then after you get married, you're sentenced to them. Yeah, that's arguing.

Yeah, strife.

That's when the arguing is going to stop. Do we want to stop right here for a minute and recognize our sponsors?

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We're grateful for our sponsors.

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Those of you are in a season of trying to make this paycheck period. Meet up to the next one. It can really help you out. Yes. Let me get back. When life rhythms have been paid basically no attention because we just. The hormones are nuts.

Or you get married just something like this and you learn how different you really are.

Yep.

And you are your likes and your dislikes.

Let me take a Minute and deal with that because I want to get to arguing, but I'm trying to set up how do we get there. God pulled Adam out of the dirt. And that was the last time God ever reached into the dirt. Everything else came out of Adam. Yeah, everything. Eve came out of Adam. So when God took Eve out of Adam, he called Adam woman, which means woman with a womb. I mean, man with a womb. Man with a womb. So in other words, he took that part out of Adam, which goes on to say God may have created Adam in his own likeness, which God needs nothing outside of Adam to reproduce. To reproduce or procreate. So he may have made Adam in that same way. Said it's not good that man be all one alone, all one. So he took womb man out of him. And so what does that mean, baby dog? That means women. Women. This is going to fire some people up. I don't know that it was designed for women to be able to do everything a man can do. You're designed to do everything I can't do.

That's right. We complement each other.

You're designed. I mean, can you do things, Ron? Of course you can. You can preach, you can lead, you can administrate, you can do all those things just like I do them. But the fact is you have some things you can do, Ron will never be able to do because God took that out of me.

Yeah.

So give me you, I give you me, and together we're whole.

Yeah.

A lot of people say you need to be whole before you get that is true. You need to be whole emotionally.

You need to be healed.

You need to be healed emotionally. But at the same time, you can find counterpart that completes you in a mighty way. Because nobody by themselves has all the equipment. No, nobody. And so that's what this great compliment and the Bible calls it a mystery. The mystery of marriage is. So we get into this place where you have what I don't. I have things that you don't. But the fact is where we should see that as complementing one another most times it can be a place of contention.

Yes.

Now, I told Hope, I said I got the principles, I want to get them out. I'll just let her do the commentary. Number one, contention is not always a bad thing.

No, not always.

Contention is an indicator. Change is necessary. Contention is an indicator. Change is necessary. If I have something continuously contentious in my ministry, I need to make a change.

Yeah, we got to examine it.

I need to examine it and there's something I got to make a Change. There's something contentious in my house. I've got to make a change. Contention is the blinking light on your dashboard that says, check engine soon.

Right.

Okay. In other words, if you don't pay attention to it right. The first time you see it, it's not going to put you on the side of the road. But if you keep driving that car and pay that indicator no attention, sooner or later the car is going to leave you on the side of the road because it's going to break down. If there's contention, it don't mean there's a devil in the house. It don't mean there's something you've got to cast out. It means there is a change that is necessary to rectify the contentious area. So, areas of contention. I wanted you to stay up late at night with me. You tried. Out of love. You tried. But you look over there, you'd be like half a sleep.

A drugged person.

Yeah. And you would sometimes go to sleep. And I learned as time went on, let you put your head in my lap. I'd sit there and play with your hair. I wanted you to stay awake. But I just realized, you know, unless you're fiercely excited about something or on a trip or something, the fact is on day by day, week by week basis, you don't want to stay up as late as I do.

No.

It started out as a contention, but we brought it to a place of compromise, another area of contention. What was it? I would trade cars all the time.

Yeah, you did.

Because I got bored easy. I got bored easy.

You did. You did. You do. You do. You still do.

I tell her, I said I don't golf. I don't really hunt. I don't fish. I don't do all these things. I'm like, about every 12 to 24.

Months, it would just sheer aggravate me so bad. And then I had to examine my own heart. Like, why am I so aggravated? It's not costing us anything. I mean, he usually would never even put money down on a car. You know, he would keep it. The same payment.

I work the deal. I worked a deal.

And I finally was like, you know what? Why am I so upset about this? Who cares if it's not costing us any money? And if it's the same payment, go trade your card.

Let's do real talk. The contention of in laws.

Yeah.

Your mom and dad vehemently did not want you to marry me. And so in many years after we got married, I always told you when we go to your parents House for Christmas, Thanksgiving. And you changed.

Yeah, because I was trying to be that mediator. Please, parents.

Because they would pit you against me, and you were the centerpiece. And they would play you against me. And that was always a point of contention. We'd go there and we'd argue all the way back home.

All the way. And then I would end up sick from anxiety of trying just to manage the conflict.

The conflict between the two. Yeah, because you got put in the middle of a couple more. I just want people to know we're real. We're not managing.

What about sexual?

Oh, man. I don't know that we've ever fought. I think men pout.

You think?

I don't think men fight. I think men pout because they take it personal and see it as a sign of rejection. But then I had to start learning about a woman. There are just certain times that a woman is much more prone to sexual activity than she is others. And the fact is, I'm not built that way. And I had to come to understanding always brings grace. Remember that teaching. When you try to understand the thing, grace will begin to follow it. One more. One more place of contention. You're not going to hurt my heart.

Rearing.

You don't like when I cough at night.

Oh, gosh.

You don't like when I smack my food. You don't like my driving. She hollers the whole time I'm driving. She don't like my driving. I'm trying to think of others.

I thought we weren't going to talk. You said one more. And you're talking about all the things we argue about.

But my drip makes up for it.

Oh, my God, babe.

I have to have maintenance around on it. I have to have maintenance.

They don't know what drip is. What's drip?

Ron style.

His style makes up for coughing. The coughing at night and waking me up. Y' all don't know. It makes me so angry.

Okay, she snores. And she's determined to sleep on her back. She turns on her side. I only sleep like a bull. She sniffs on my back, but she rolls back over and puts her hands above her head. And then it's like she snores like somebody's chasing her.

Well, you cough like you live with coronavirus. I've never heard a human cough as much as you cough in my whole life.

It was reflexing.

No, I don't even want to hear it.

The doctor told you it was not sinus.

Because now you need to have now a habit.

You need to be gracious in my battle.

It is not a battle. It's funny to me. Your tail don't cough in the den, but you come in the bedroom at 12 and 1 o' clock at night.

But you lay down. But you lay down.

I mean.

And I'm like, you're exaggerating. It's more like this.

Ron, that is not true.

We're supposed to be talking about how to argue.

Well, we do it.

Okay, here's.

And then once he calms down with the arguing, okay, we settle down. Then this is what he'll do.

Then you want to make up not.

To say, no, I don't. And I'm laying over there like, oh God, touch him, please heal him. And then he's calmed down. 10, 15 minutes, lights are out. Then I feel this hand wanting to rub, pat and rub. I'm like, I just got back to sleep.

It's so sweet. Well, I want to just kiss your eye before you go to sleep, pat you. Isn't that so sweet?

It's so sweet.

How do you argue?

An annoying.

How do you argue? I got my notes. Number one, stick. Stick to the issue.

Yes. Stick to the topic.

Stick to the issue. What is the issue? What is the trigger?

If you're talking about they spent too much money, don't go back and start talking about her mama.

Yeah. I mean, you start off talking about you always leave the toilet seat up and then all of a sudden you know, your in laws are in it and what your cousin did at Christmas in 90 and all this stuff and it just goes hard, it just goes all over the place.

That's hard because your emotions, you get angry. And if you feel like you're pressed in a corner and you feel like you're not being heard, you get louder. So you just start going all over the place. That's hard to stick to the topic.

Sticking to the issue is, I would say, honestly, I got it listed as number one because you can't fix the issue if you're screaming about everything. But. And if you're too emotional to talk calmly about the issue, separate till the emotions wear off. And you.

But I try to do that. I try to walk out the door.

I used to, when I was in my 20s, I would try to fix it all right there. But I've learned now. Maybe I need my space. Maybe you need your space, but we being silly. You know what? We don't argue a lot.

No, Lord, no, we don't.

We don't argue a lot.

But if we do, and I Try. And I'm so angry and I want to walk away. You get mad at me and say, hope, now come back in here.

No, you do your one liner and walk out.

Yeah, I do.

You do the blowout and then you walk away. And I don't get to respond. And so. And you're better at that.

I am.

Because we learn how. I mean, finally, we've been together 30 something years. I mean, we need to learn how to do this.

Right.

So sticking to the issue, you're not going to be. You're not going to be able to do this at an emotional frenzy. So whatever you need to do. Some people, for instance, let me put it this way. I remember our kids were tough. And everybody said, duh, everybody's kids are tough. I guess so. But I didn't raise your kids. The only kids I know is mine. And our kids were tough. And we had them. Boom, boom, boom. Because Hope just pursued me like that and would not leave me alone. And so we had kids back to back to back. And they were all small. And they were all small at one time. And they were. Two of them were very high strung. And I remember. I remember coming home, literally coming home and driving up in the driveway and Hope hand me a baby and pass right by me, get in the car and drive off down the road. Why? She is done.

Yep. Had it.

She is done. And you know, I didn't even took my coat off. Still got my tie. I mean, but she is done. And I had to learn. I had not been shut up in that house, in that house with them kids all day long and two of them with a stomach virus and one of them with diarrhea.

Now you got to leave.

Yeah.

And you got to go out and have lunch with somebody.

And I was in.

I didn't.

I was living the good life, having meetings all day, fixing problems. So anyway, I'm out doing that. I come home. But what did I learn out of that? I learned, you know, what if I just give her some time? You know, you just needed to get away from it. And sometimes you would always tell me, I'm like, I'd call you later, baby. You all right? You know, you didn't even speak when you came out. You're like, I'm at Target.

I'm just over here in the corner sniffing candles, you know, huffing paint.

But it was just. I have no. What did you have to do? If. If I don't go and process this, I'm going to blow up on Ron.

That's so true.

I'm going to blow up on the kids. And some of that was out of respect, I think I may be putting words in your mouth, but you would come home and you're like, you know what? He's going to catch it if I don't leave.

Yeah. Because I had already. No, you had not done a thing. But I had created in my mind how mad I was at you that you just. I would always say, how is it that they just get to get up and leave and they go to work and they just go do their thing and get to go out to.

Because it's called paying the bills.

Right, right, right. But at that time, I didn't have a choice. I had to stay home because we couldn't afford childcare.

You kept wanting to have them babies.

Oh, my Lord, here we go.

You kept wanting them.

Yes, I did. And I love every one of them.

You wanted having babies. And I remember it. I remember it. And I was like. I was like, okay, sweetheart, let's have another one.

You want to have another one?

I told you when we. You remember when we were first flying out the west coast and the wheels hit the ground.

Yep. And you said, let's try for another one.

Let's try for one more. I think you hit me.

I was 49 years old, and I said, right.

When we got to California, I said, let's try for one more.

No.

No. So anyway, you know what?

Let me. I just remembered this. And you were talking about, you know, emotions going crazy when you're arguing, and if you're married to that person or if that is you, where you just lose your mind and you're screaming and yelling and the volume's so loud. We had a friend who said that they struggled with that, and they screamed and hollered and their kids would hear them, and it just got crazy. Said that now they have a rule I'm talking about. They just knew they couldn't control themselves. But it was a rule that. It was almost like the game strip poker. Whoever started getting loud had to take off a piece of clothes, and the next one had to take off a piece of clothes to where they were standing there yelling or doing the. They're arguing naked. Naked. But they would got laughing, and it was funny.

They couldn't continue that.

It just helped them, and it really helped bring some joy and laughter into the. To the room. And so, Ron, do you want to implement that tonight?

I'll start an argument. I'm going to find something. I'm going to find something. Start an Argument, and I go a bad one.

Make me real loud. That is so funny.

So, anyway, sticking to the issue number two.

Take your clothes off.

Well, yeah, we've lost this in our world. And I don't know who can model this for our young adults and our young married couples because it's not modeled by our adults, it's not modeled in politics, it's not modeled in corporate, and it's not really even modeled in church. Negotiate. Can I tell you something? Nobody comes to the table to get all of the chips in their corner.

No, it's not reasonable.

You can't enter an argument where it's all or nothing or it's nothing. Yeah, that's no fun to be in an argument with somebody who has to end with all the cards are going to be on my side when this thing is over. In other words, an argument, the goal of it is not to win. The goal of it is a solution.

Yeah.

And some people just want to win the argument, right? I was louder than you or I cut you harder or I shut you up, didn't I? They don't want to win. But the goal of an argument is because there's contention. And let's take this to a place of solution. Yeah. So I know a lot of times it can be easy about money, especially in times when things are so lean. And I remember we would sit down and it would be hot with this, or why? And then we would sit down and negotiate things out. Well, we're going to do this with this. We're going to pull out this hole with this right here. And when I do this, we'll appropriate this here. And what it was, was it's trying to find a solution instead of ripping each other's heads off.

Right. I remember when we first got married, though, you leaned more that way. Not the I gotta win, but yours was because you were raised in that.

I was scared. I was scared. I was scared we didn't have much money.

Ron. It ain't about money. I'm talking about how you approached every disagreement, your thoughts.

Oh, okay. I thought you were going somewhere else.

No, your thoughts were, because I'm the man of the house, you have to come my way. And I remember several years into the marriage, I looked at you and said, said, ron, why can't we just agree to disagree? Why isn't it okay that at this time you think this way and I think this way? And I remember you'd bring in scripture, you'd say, well, you can't walk together unless you agree and I'm like, but I don't agree with you on this one. And can you not respect my point of view? And I'll respect your point of view. And now we're at a solution. You know, we had to. That was negotiating in our relationship that at every single time you may not come to an agreement, but you still love each other. The argument is settled. I respect your beliefs, you respect mine, and then we move forward.

Don't let the argument destroy the relationship. No, it's not worth it. There is no argument. There is no disagreement worth that. But I just think. I think you said the word pride. It can be ego, it can be a whole lot of things. But when you sit there and say, all right, I can tell a fuss is about to start here, all right, let's talk about this, and let's try to bring it to a place of solution. The art of communication. I think me and you have told each other so many times, one of the things that has blown us away in pastoring is people's inability to resolve a conflict. Conflict. I cannot believe how much I have to get involved in a conflict with the grown adults, with the grown adults in coming to resolve a conflict because they have no ability to resolve it on their own. So you got to come in as a peacemaker. And so there's ways. You can get books, you can get youtubes and things and learn how to argue, learn how to negotiate. Because I'm just hitting broad principles. Stick to the issue, negotiate. And before we run out of our time, the solution will normally, I would say 90% of the time or better, you're going to have to come to a place of compromise. Yeah, a place of compromise. Like staying up. I have no longer do. I no longer do. I have an expectation. You stay up till 12:30, 1:00 clock when we're at home. But if I take you on a trip, I've noticed you'll stay up and won't say anything about it. We talk, we have a great time, and we go out and sit on the deck.

And because it's not a normal. It's not a normal day or a normal week because I don't have to get up the next morning, get ready and go to work.

That right there is compromise. You know, Ron, get me out of my grind, get me out of my space. And you've told me that. Take me to another environment. And so that's one of the things I invest. I tell people we used. Because we had so little, we used to invest in things. But now we invest in experience, right? I'd rather have an experience than I would have stuff. And so in those experiences, you're like, get me out of this and get me in another atmosphere. And, you know, then I'm able to stay up, I'm able to do things, I'm able to enjoy it.

And sometimes you'll go to bed early with me.

I have been doing that. It's been more late as I've gotten a little older. And you'll say, you gonna come to bed with me and I'll surprise you. I'll say, yep.

And look, and to him, he's like, I'm gonna come to bed early tonight. I'm coming at 11. 11, that is early too. Ron Carpenter.

Sometime I'm eating dinner at 10. So, yeah, that is early for me.

I want him to be in a mild coma by 11. And 11 is early to him. We are so different in that.

That happened to me. Number one, my daddy was like that.

Yeah.

So I don't know if it's in the jeans or what. My dad. And it wasn't a good habit. My dad never slept. It seemed like he just never did. But then I remember college. I just remember in that dorm, getting.

In a cycle of staying up.

I mean, it didn't even get quiet until like 2 o' clock in the morning.

But I even went to bed early in college.

See, I did.

I would close my door and lock it so nobody would come in.

You get sick, I really look back and I believe because of no sleep, I got sick all the time in college.

And my mom and dad said when I was even a little girl, a toddler, they said no matter where I was, if I was at church, if I was in the backseat, if I was sitting in the den, they said eight o', clock, they would look over and I was asleep wherever I was. So since a child, I have required more sleep.

And it was a. It wasn't a life rhythm that we shared, but the art of compromise.

Yeah. It was a point of contention. We understand each other, but something that little. Going to bed, the time of bed was huge. I mean, it was a big point of contention for us.

Point of contention was money.

Yeah.

Because y' all weren't rich. No, but y'. All. Y' all did well for our town. You did well. Your family in a small town, y' all were at probably top of the food chain. And so that was what you operated out of. We just never had anything. And so I remember I was probably overboard. If you would spend Over a certain amount, like on groceries, I would freak out because that made me nervous because I knew I didn't have much money, and I knew I had no other means or stream for it to come in. And so I was always anxious about that and probably overbearing about that. And you probably had to dial it back a little bit, because I remember 30 years ago, $38 shampoo, Ron.

Not me.

Look.

Not. Not me look.

Ba voom.

It's not me.

It's so traumatizing, Mrs. Iglesias.

Okay, it's not me.

It was black with a pink label. Ba boom. Remember that? And I was like, why do we have to have shampoo that costs more than a tank of gas? I didn't understand that.

I didn't do it. It was my mama. Blame it on her.

No, it was that perm. You needed a special shampoo.

I did. I did.

Because you had permed. Ann bleached it.

I did, Yeah.

I loved it, though. I loved your curls like that. And I loved your blonde hair. When you argue, stick to the issue. Don't bring everybody's mama and daddy into it. Number two, learn to negotiate. Number three, compromise. Solution. 90% of the time is going to end in some type of compromise. If both of you are the kind that you have to win, you're going to argue all the time. You're never gonna reach a solution. I can't live like that.

And if you're loud and scream and yelling, take your clothes off. Take your clothes off.

Well, I turn 54 in a few weeks. We're gonna implement that tonight. Starting tonight. We're gonna implement that starting tonight.

That's hilarious.

I'm gonna find something and just go off on it tonight. We're about out of time. Anything you want to add? Because I've probably done most of the talking on this one.

You ready to argue?

Go home and argue.

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