How To Replenish Your 4 Energy Tanks | Ron + Hope: Unfiltered

Foreign.

Hey, everybody, it's Ron and Hope. Unfiltered, real raw and relevant. And Ron did not pick up his cup.

I'm too tired.

You too tired?

Yes.

It has been a long weekend and week for you. Traveled all weekend, preached up.

It's been not quite three. It's been about two and a half weeks since I had a dale. I am dragging a little bit and put that stuff under my eyes.

What, concealer?

Yeah, I put that stuff under my eyes. Yep. So, you know, don't show up so bad. And it's interesting what I want to talk about because I thought it would be what a great, non hypocritical way to talk about. I want to talk about weariness.

M. I'm weary.

Let's talk about weirdness. Cuz I'm weary.

I'm tired.

You know, a lot of people are. A lot of people are busy. Yeah, go ahead and tell them what you up to.

What?

Oh, zoom in on that. Can y' all guys zoom in on that?

I have to pull my sleeve. It's gross. It's gnarly. Can you see? It's tattooed up.

It's bubbled up.

Can you see that camera guy?

So they ask you, they said, why are you removing them? You say, because people need to understand.

It'S ugly at this point.

Let this be a lesson.

Listen up.

When you think it's a good idea, you gotta understand there'll be other seasons to your life.

This is what I said. I said, well, it was cute in one season. I thought I said. But then you think laying in your casket one day and you're like, oh, look at mama. Ooh. What tattoo was that? I think it used to be a rose, but now it looks like I.

Said, you can get a tattoo of a big smiling woman on your back, and by the time you hit about 7 years old, that woman frowning.

I mean, this thing is bubbled up with blisters.

Don't look good.

It hurts.

I remember you laying beside me last night, like, don't touch. Don't touch my arm.

Yeah.

But anyway, you know, everybody on some level is busy. And the people that aren't busy, a lot of them are trying to get busy. They're trying to restart a career, launch something or change. Make a change in their occupation or career or something. I would put our schedule up against most people.

It's brutal.

Yeah.

And all the travel, I mean, just.

The travel beats you up.

Just the travel alone beats you up. I mean, what it does, going up and down and down and up. And what it does to your body.

It's my dad always called traveling. He said, here's the way you define traveling. Hurry up and wait. And that is a lot of truth to that. It is because you do a lot of waiting, but your wheels on the inside of you are turning a million miles an hour while you're waiting a.

Bunch of strangers and hustle and bustle.

And it's a big part of our life. But here's our thing. We now are not us and three small kids. We have a family that is greatly multiplied, which now all of the Thanksgiving are extremely complicated. There's nothing easy anymore. All of the Christmases are complicated. Just when we go back to the east coast where all of our children now live and all of our grandkids reside, now, you know, to try to do everything that we want to do to be good grandparents is toilsome. It's toilsome because while we're there, we have a campus.

Yeah, we got to work.

A campus that has tripled just about since Christmas.

You got to work.

Yeah. And I mean, we're moving and massaging and shifting and then a lot of our non campus specific staff members are there. Like a lot of production, a lot of media and stuff are there because with the salaries we're able to pay, the quality of life is much better because it's just a much cheaper place to live. So we've got all those dynamics. So, you know, and then when we come back, you know, we've been gone from here. So everywhere we go, we're starting behind eight ball. Almost like today, I had to mash two days into one day. Well, if you saw one of my days, it's hard to do them. It's hard to do two in one. So I thought to myself, you said, what I want to talk about. I said, let's talk about weariness and how we manage it. Because I think I can say, tell me if I'm wrong. I don't think we've ever been busier. I don't think.

No. I can't remember a time in our life, even when we had three kids in three different schools and karate and baseball.

It was concentrated, it was local.

Yes.

Now it's, you know, and I'm grateful to God. Yeah. Tennessee, South Carolina, you know, West Virginia, you know, North Carolina, California in five days. Yeah. So I wouldn't change places with anybody in the world. I'm grateful to God. And I get up literally every day. I want everybody to know this, thinking that it is a privilege to do what I get to do. I tell my congregations every Sunday. It is. It is a privilege to be your pastor. It's not a right that I have. It's a privilege.

Y' all listening? You can help us pray in a jet. If somebody would just give us one that would help us.

Well, I chartered. I chartered one. It was to Tennessee. It was going to be a drive through the mountains, about seven hours. Mountain driving is hard driving. When I go from South Carolina to Tennessee, and I just looked at it seven hours up and seven hours back, and then jumped right back in the office, that's 14 hours of driving. So I just said, you what? I'm going to bite the bullet and pay for it out of my own expenses. And I chartered a jet to get me there, and it was 38 minutes.

That's crazy.

Do you know, for everybody who hates the Jetters, do you know what that saved on my body?

Yes.

I mean, just. Just what that saved on my body, you know? So at this stage of my life, that means something to me with the wear and tear. So here's what I want. Want to say. Grateful for all the responsibilities God has given us, and I wouldn't trade places with anybody on the planet. However, weariness is. It has to be managed. It has to be managed. And there's some things that I just want to talk to people who may be like, I'm overwhelmed, and I don't know how to make this stop. Okay, so how does weariness affect a person? How does weariness affect a relationship, a marriage, a home? And then maybe some of the ways that we try to handle that. And the first thing I want to say is one of our football coaches for the South Carolina Gamecocks, who's our team, our university team. Yeah, he said this. He said, weariness makes cowards of us all. Now, he was putting that in the context of when it comes to fourth quarter, you got to lock in, and you got to be mentally tough, and you can't. You know, that's what he was talking about. I heard him say that. And I'm like, that was one of those moment that makes you go. And the fact is, the Bible talks about not growing weary in your faith. Well, doing that and doing weary and well done. When you get tired, the thing that you are so confident in with God, you can find yourself wavering when you're tired. So the first thing you got to understand is how weariness just straight up affects faith. The Bible says, believe in your heart and do not doubt the believing in my Heart. I got that down. That do not doubt. That's a tough phrase because I believe that weariness and being tired is the crack in the dam where doubt begins to seep in. Is this really going to happen? You begin to question it. Yeah.

Yeah. What's the scripture? My brain just went out the door. Hope deferred.

Hope deferred makes the heart sick. Well, where is faith conceived? Conceived in the heart. It's conceived in the heart. And hope deferred makes the heart sick. So when something is stressing you, I've always been taught by some of our counselors, everybody's built for moments or seasons of stress.

Absolutely.

Nobody is built to live in it perpetually.

Right.

So you can't, you know, you have a season of stress.

You say fight or flight.

Right. You say 20. 20 was hard. Okay. You can't say 2005 to 2025 was hard.

Yeah.

You're not built for that. You're not built. You're not done. Yeah. You're not built for that. So the times where difficulty seems to be stretching out greater than the season of your grace, you know what are. Here's where I go to the presence of the Lord.

Absolutely.

Okay, well, I knew you were going to go to something spiritual. I was wanting you to tell me. I am telling you. Something you can do in the presence of the Lord is fullness of joy. And at his right hand are pleasures forevermore. And they that wait on him, he will renew their strength. They will mount up on wings with eagles. They shall run and not grow weary. They shall walk and not faint. So it is direct talking about not getting weary, talking about not fainting, and talking about being renewed. The fact is, I think that. Wait there. I've heard it's two different ways I've heard it. Be still and know that I'm God. And I've heard it to be served. That actually there is like waiting on a table. There is a rejuvenation that comes in serving the Lord. So the first thing I would say that goes out the door is your faith. And you have to have times in the presence of God.

Absolutely.

To renew your strength. I will tell you my time on the plane yesterday. That second leg of that flight was so long, I felt like I was mine, too. I felt like I was flying to Egypt yesterday.

That's what I told Jasmine. We came from Greenville to Chicago, then Chicago to San Francisco. And that was like four and a half hours. I felt like I was going to.

Mine was 5:32. It was from Charlotte to San Francisco. And we like San Jose. It's a lot easier airport. But sometimes to get in those straight flights, you have to go straight to San Francisco. And the fact is, I took that time on that plane yesterday, and I took it as the little lady sitting beside me, headphones and watching movies. They cut the lights off in the plane once it got to a certain place in the evening. And I took that time to do worship. I took that time, like, instrumental. I'm almost like spa worship. I'm talking about pray. I ain't talking about that. I'm talking about very worshipful, where I'm saying, God, I know my body is in a plane, but take me somewhere. I'm going to close my eyes. Just take me somewhere. I opened up one of my favorite books, the wisdom commentary. Just started replenishing myself. People have got to understand sometime downtime. Sometime downtime needs to be time where you prep.

Yeah, it is.

Prep yourself.

Well, down there should be prep time.

Another thing that goes out the door that was 10 minutes on the first one. When you're weary is patience.

I know that's right.

Okay. Tuesday is our meeting day. And the normal course of a meeting is handling problems. It just comes with it if you don't like it and you go do something else. Because it just comes with the territory. Challenges ain't really a problem. They're challenges. So, you know, fix them. And I noticed just today we had to take our media day, which is Wednesday. We had to take administration day, which is Tuesday, because we traveled. We had to combine them. We had three hours of jet lag. I got in last night at bedtime and woke up. I got in later than you got in later. And you wake up in the morning, like, and you feel like somebody's hooked a rope to a cinder block and you're pulling it behind you because your body's just not had time to adjust. And then I came in and I caught myself one time, you in there with me. I caught myself. Just, look, just strike this one, strike this one, and strike this one. I want it to be over with. Instead of thinking through it, instead of taking time to process it, instead of asking questions, instead of giving information, which will be a normal process that I've got. I didn't do none of that. And I caught myself, and I said, why are you doing that? You're tired. So in other words, I don't care about making a good decision. I just want to make a decision and be done so it can be over with. And a lot of times Weariness will cause you not to make good decisions. You just want something to be done.

You know that happens sometimes in marriage. I mean, how many times have we. We don't fight and we don't argue. But I know I've done this many times because, Ron, you know, you can have a long discussion when you want to have a discussion. That thing.

Well, one thing, that thing. One thing I've told people that I've learned in marriage is that we are always, always, always going to be working on me.

Oh, my God, you love a long discussion. Anyway, when you say, can I talk to you about something? Just a minute. I know what's about to happen, but if it goes on long, I'll say, okay, you're right. Yep, you're right. Because like you just said, I just want it over.

Well, I saw an Instagram clip for married couples the other day where a.

Woman said, here we go.

Where the woman said, you know what? I've learned that about 90% of the time my husband was actually right. I just don't like his tone. So I don't know if you feel that way or not. I try not to have a bad tone.

When you're tired. Yes. You want it over with.

Just make the decision. Make the decision.

Yeah, you're right.

Now, I saw that today. So another thing with weariness that you got to be careful is good decision making can go right out the door. Faith can begin to. Your heart leaks. It leaks. Faith and you can begin to doubt. You can begin to waver, not stand. Second thing is just your patience. It is hard to be tired and patient. Yeah, that's hard.

So what do you do mamas out there when you got 2, 3, 4, 5, 8, 10 year olds and you're tired?

Trying to see how much I want to say here I'm called as to how much it is I want to release.

You're tired.

I think me and you've done well in some things and I don't want to me and you sit here and tell everybody else how to do it because everybody probably knows our story and seen our track record, knows we ain't done it well all the time. We have been and were in those times and are today. Pretty good at trying to be a pressure valve relief for them. I could usually look at you and tell, okay, I need to get the kids and just let her get out of here. And you were pretty.

Now, you remember that time I came out of the house and you were pulling up in the house?

I was thinking, I shared that Here. Did I share it on the podcast?

I don't know. But I remember having Chase, like holding the yellow house. Yeah. And I was walking out the door with Chase looking at you, holding him like, here, he's yours.

I pulled out. That was back when I wore a suit and a tie every day. I remember I pulled up in the driveway, we had a little. It was two story, but it was a small yellow house, about 1200 square foot, yellow house. And I remember I pulled up in the driveway and literally, like a movie, you had him straight out here. You walked out the front door, you didn't say a word. You handed him to me. I'm still in a suit. And you got in the car. I hadn't even closed the door. You just got in it and drove off.

I told you, I remember telling you I'm going to Target.

May have. I don't remember that.

Go to Target, smell candles and just walk up and down the aisles and just be diverted.

Me sending you when we got two kids and very little income coming in on vacations, that's not realistic. But recognizing in your partner when they're at a breaking point.

Yeah. Yeah.

And you, I told you this week, I said, baby, I'm tired. I called you from West Virginia and I said, how you doing? I said, I'm tired. I don't tell you that all the time. So when I do tell you that, you know, and I come up and you say, next weekend I got us a night here. And I'm like, I didn't ask you to do that. You okay? I know what you need. Yeah, I know, Ron. I know when he's getting like this. I know what it takes to snap it back. He's a quick recoverer. He don't have to go a week to another island for a week. Just get him out of here a day or two and he's all right. But see, I didn't ask that. And you're a lot of the ways the same way. You know, I look at you.

I need more sleep than you need you. Do I have to. When I get done and I'm weary, I just want to close my eyes and go to bed. You want to do something different? I just want to go to sleep.

Tired to you means sleeping tired to me means I don't want to work no more. So I can come home at 3 o' clock in the morning from a preaching engagement, doing a conference. Well, it ain't that I'm sleepy, it's that I need. I'll go sit down an hour. I got to come down. You can walk, you can walk out of the car that brought you home and go get into bed. I, I don't tend to be able to do that. Well, I just need some type of moment where I'm decompressing.

I tried to do that last night but those dumb cats kept jumping on the bed. Yep, Chaz's cats.

Well, see, I usually close the door and don't let that happen, but an anomaly happened last night. I was in bed before you, which, that's like a eclipse.

I didn't even land until 11 o'.

Clock and I was on that three hour thing. So my body and I knew I had to come in this morning. So I came in.

Them cats about got punted last night.

And them cats came in because we didn't close because I would normally close the door. But seriously, the weariness, the decision making is affected. The patience, the patience is affected. Your faith is affected. What's one of the other things that you. I'm going to go to the answer when we end. What's the thing that you say? When I get tired, I can tell.

Sometimes I get sick. It wears on my sinus infections. Body. Yes, I'll get a sinus infection. My immunity. It's your immunity. You know, all of it just starts to shut down. And for me that's what happens.

Am I easy going?

You're very easy.

Am I kind and gentle?

Yes.

But I get agitated.

You do?

I get agitated.

You get quick.

If you see me getting agitated, I'm tired. That is not my normal function. I'm worn out if I'm agitated and I don't like that. I don't like it when I'm like that. And I know it when I'm like that. And I usually have to walk right back in the room and say, baby, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that. I shouldn't have popped off. I shouldn't have answered you like that. And that's when I know, okay, man, I got to change something. All these things are signs of weariness and things that weariness directly affects.

Here's the thing about weariness though, Ron. I don't think you ever get to a place of spirituality where it never hits you from time to time.

No.

I think some people think that you get to a place in God where you're unaffected. Yeah. And I just haven't seen that anywhere. And if you do, why would he have scriptures about telling you where to go when you're weary and where to run to and how to cast your care and don't grow weary and well doing. And in this world you will have trouble.

You know well my first thing. Let's hit this trifold spirit, soul and body. First of all, renewal comes in the presence of the Lord. Number one, you cast your cares on him. He's your strength. The Holy Spirit is your helper. And the fact is, I know people don't want to hear that, but there's no way around the fact that there's spiritual activity that can affect the whole rest of you. It can affect your mind. There are times when I've called on when I've missed a whole night of sleep and had to go straight into something. And I've told the Lord. I said, you know what, Lord? You didn't say that a good night's sleep was my strength. You said that I was strong in you and in the power of your might. And I feel something hit me and all of a sudden I'll begin to operate as though I just had 10 nights. Yeah. And so why not call on Go. Why not call the Holy Spirit is a helper. Same way when your kid woke up five times last night. Okay, you need help. I'll never forget one thing Bishop Jake said one time. He said, do you know what the number one sign of stress is? And I was waiting for this amazing answer to come out of his amazing mind. He said, you need help. He said, stress means you need help. He said, that's what that means. And I'm like, that's actually very wise. And some people won't ask for help. Another thing is some things you can't help. I believe the things you can't help, God gives you grace. For people need to really know what grace is. Grace don't just save you. Grace is a supply.

It is.

It's a supply to you.

Grace for the day you're in, Right?

Oh, what's that verse? He'll give you grace for the day you're in. Yeah. The second thing, a lot of being overwhelmed is the inability to say no.

A martyr complex. I got to do it all. I'm Superman.

Let me tell you something I've learned. I've learned the gift of no. And I didn't hear this from anybody. This is what I've taught myself. The no is just as important as the yes. Yeah, I got to know what to say yes to, but I got to know what to say no to. What I say yes to has its own amount of stress built in with it. And God will Supply you for the yes when you say yes to God. You know, when God says no to you, the no is just as important as the yes. The no is because he don't want you to get in something you're not graced for. So he supplies you for the yeses. But if you disobey the nos, he's not obligated to supply you for that. Obligated. So a lot of times I have learned the gift of no. I said yes to all that this weekend. So I wasn't mad at God. I wasn't rebuking the devil. I wasn't rebuking the spirit of weariness. I wouldn't. I said yes to that schedule this weekend.

You did. But then you also found out you're not 35 anymore, too, huh?

Nah, that don't really affect me.

Okay?

Don't really affect me, guys. No is healthy because no is knowing where you stop. And somebody else.

You got to know what your limits are, too.

It's proper boundaries. I stop right here. I can't bleed all into here. I stop right here, and I can't let you bleed over into me.

That's right.

Knowing what to say yes to and knowing what to say yes.

We were talking about this, about a couple of our staff members who right now, especially on the west coast, who are diving into these major projects. And we were talking about how I could look at them. I said I looked at them in the face the other day and I could tell they were fried. You know what they were. This. This. But there's, like you said, we are not built for stress that has to be sustained. We have to understand that we are graced for the task and the day we're in.

As your days are, so shall your strength be. That's the scripture I was looking for. As your days are, so shall your strength be.

It's stressful right now, but it's not going to be like this forever, right? And so if you know that, you know you have that. I just gotta press through this. This part right here. And I gotta keep my mind right. I gotta keep my confession right? I've got to treat people right. I've got to still have fruit operating in my life. I gotta know that this is a season and I gotta get my proper amount of rest. I gotta know when to take my day off. I gotta know, you know, when to cut off work and watch a movie. It's a season. It's seasonal times, you know, your children. I remember my mama saying, enjoy this season. Enjoy this season. They won't be this little long. And I cannot believe that they're gone. And I have grandchildren now, and the oldest one's about to be a teenager.

Some of us, perspective, you don't look at it as survival, look at it as a thrill. Some of it is just sheer perspective, the way you're looking at it. And that was wise of your mom. Some of these things that you're like, good Lord, is this season ever going to end? There will be a day you do anything to get them back.

You wish you could hold them back.

You'd do anything to get them back. Yeah, exactly. Right. Well, let me end with this right here. I had a mentor one time, tell me, I don't know that this is totally true. He didn't support it with scripture. He just told me, I think from life experience, he says that burnout is some type of result of mental health mismanagement of your life. I had some times I was burnt out, and I didn't have nothing to do with it. It was just everything that life had handed me, and it depleted me. So I can agree with him probably 90%. I think there might be a little bit that may not fall into that category. But I've always taught, baby, everybody has four forms of energy. So I'm depleted and I'm weary. Okay. I don't know that across the board, that means you've mismanaged your life.

Right?

Okay. But it could be some mismanagement, and you have to be having honest conversation with yourself. You are spiritual, you are emotional, you are mental, and you are physical. The problem is, I wasn't taught anything about the other three. I was taught spirit.

Yeah.

Some of the people from the heritage and legacy of Christians that I came from were some of the most unhealthy people physically, unhealthy people emotionally that I have ever seen in my life. And because we would just make sure you're right spiritually. You make sure you're right spiritually. You develop your spirit, man. You get. And so everything was spirit, but God made bodies. But their body's falling apart emotionally, they're a wreck, you know, and mentally, they're fried. And so I got to look at this thing. God has given me four tanks and baby doll, if I don't pay attention to any of them, it's not going anywhere good. I'm an emotional person, and I have to make sure my emotional tanks are filled because there are people pulling on them every day. So where do I go? Same mental, same spiritual, same physical. We had that we had those services, though, two weeks back to back. One on the east coast, one on the west, where God had us confronting real darkness. I mean, on the West Coast, I started calling out witchcraft and people started puking in the room. I mean. And I remember I got home that day, I told you I was exhausted. I was exhausted because of the sheer conflict of light and darkness that I was a part of that day. So, look, this may be a little bit nerdy. I don't have a lot of nerd in me. I was kind of like a jock in high school. But this may sound nerdy to you. I now, at 56 years old, have realized most of the things that deplete those four tanks.

Yeah. You have to know it.

Okay. Do you track what depletes you spiritually? Do you track what depletes you emotionally? Do you track what depletes you mentally? Do you track what depletes you physically? You need to notice those things because I know how much now that I can track it. I know how much I can give. Let's give an example. When we go on a place and we're going to help a church and we're on an assignment and I'm going to preach in a conference, and we want to help the preacher, and we're pouring into their leadership and all this stuff we do when we visit, you'll notice by about 10:30 that night at the meal, you're quiet. And this is what you used to do. You don't do it no more. You used to pinch me. Used to say, ron, you're being rude. And I finally looked at you one day and I said, baby, I'm not being rude.

I'm done.

I don't have anything else. I've given them everything I have.

So I watch now, I see that. And I'll say, you know what? I'll usually make an excuse.

You got my back.

I say, I'm so tired. You know, we're going to have to go.

But what you're really doing. I got to get Ron out of here. See, that about making me cry. Because that means a lot to me. Because you see how I get. I preach my face off. I'm telling. I'm helping. Okay? Your situation right here. Let me tell you what I'll do if I. And you do this for hours, and then you just. I can't talk no more, and I'm done. Okay? I've learned over years what depletes me, okay? Our grandkids. We got four of our grandkids that we can handle all four of them at any time. We got one.

We got one that has come along.

When he comes, he comes by himself.

He's the baby.

Because we've learned. We've learned he is the baby. He is precious. But he has a motor. He has a motor and he's not at the place. He can be left alone because he'll get hurt and he doesn't sense danger and he's a high motor kid and he has to be watched.

I don't know where he got that.

At all times. So here, again, this is just wisdom, you guys. Y' all can come over. Nope. He can come over this night and he can come by himself and he's going to get our full attention. And after that, about lunchtime the next day, we're dropping him back off. You know why? Because we are fried. Okay? Yeah. And so we've learned that. Okay. Long, short. I could go through an hour teaching on this. What drains you in this area? This area. Okay. Then you have to find what replenishes me.

Absolutely.

What replenishes me. Okay. When you find that and you can maintain that balance, the chances of burnout and constantly living in a state of being overwhelmed are much reduced. They're much reduced. I think at this point in my life, I have balanced that about as good as I ever have. In my 30s, I was horribly unbalanced. Horribly. I told people I had the messiah complex. The world was lost.

And I had to say, you just know it. And you have to, you know, like, for instance, in my calendar, there will be one day a month that I have, you know, the calendars that are square, each day square. I will have that one day highlighted. That that is my do not work day. One day a month. I'm going to stay home because I know with all our travel, everything we do outside of the ministry, I have to have that one day to come home and just clean out my closet.

I'm going to take. But you know what replenishes her?

Yep.

Piddling.

Yeah. Cleaning out my closet.

She cleaning the garage. This is her. But, like, best day ever is to stay in pajamas, stink and greasy.

Stop it.

All day long. And she. She just does. Does little projects.

Yep.

And that's like best day ever. And so here again. But she knows herself. She knows herself. I don't know when people in their 20s and 30s even pay attention. This makes me tired and this makes me feel better.

Moving too fast at that age. But hopefully they'll listen to us. Take some wisdom and don't burn out. You know, don't lose your marriage, don't lose your marbles on your kids. You know, find out these things.

I didn't learn that till about probably 50 years old. If somebody would have told me that at 35, I think it could have been revolutionary for me. But nobody told me. So here again, the world's lost. They are the world's lost, and I got to save it. But anyway, understand weariness is not a terminal disease. And all of your four forms of energy, they are renewable resources.

Yeah, time is not.

So be encouraged. Yeah, time is not, but your energy is. Energy is. So learn those things about yourself. Don't grow and implement them in well doing. For in due season you shall reap if you faint not. God bless you guys.

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