If You Don’t Fight Then You Don’t Win | Ron + Hope: Unfiltered

A recorded episode of the "Ron + Hope: Unfiltered" YouTube show (hosts Ron and Hope Carpenter) focused on Hope Carpenter's new book If You Don’t Fight Then You Don’t Win. They discuss the book's purpose (encouraging people who feel like giving up), central themes — fighting internal and external enemies, the role of God’s faithfulness and chastening, mentorship, and practical steps to replenish mental/spiritual/physical/emotional energy — and offer calls to action (book release Feb 23; free copy and one month of mentorship via hopesinnercircle.com). The episode includes personal anecdotes, scriptural references, sponsor ad reads, and an invitation to join Hope's Inner Circle mentorship.
Questions this video answers
February 23 (release date mentioned in the episode).
hopesinnercircle.com (offer: free book and first month of mentorship).
Chapters
Foreign.
Hello, everybody. It's Ron and Hope. Unfiltered, real, raw and relevant. Ron, what are you doing?
Getting fixed.
Getting your microphone fixed.
I need you to take the lead today.
You do? You tired?
Yeah. Somebody who does my schedule. Don't ever let me have a day off. Touch me. Just touch Ron.
If you don't feel me fight, then you don't win. Do you feel the Holy Ghost?
Don't do that. Glory. That glory.
We are talking about my book that's just come out. If you don't fight, we're talking about.
The topic and talking about the subject.
Matter, then you don't win. Becoming great. One battle at a time. And that doesn't even seem to translate.
When's the actual day? When's the actual day it's available to everybody?
23Rd. February 23rd.
February 23rd. Yes, I know people can pre order and stuff, but that's the day they can go on Amazon and everywhere else and get it right.
Yep, yep, yep, yep.
Okay.
But you know what? They can get it for free if they go to hopesinnercircle.com so if people.
Join your inner circle, that's a gift for joining us.
Thanks for gift. And you also get the inner circle for free.
Well, take 30 seconds and tell them what inner circle is for people. I have no idea what she's talking about.
Well, you know, several years ago, God just placed on my heart that the need for gathering people of like minds. Gathering people who want connection, gathering people who want mentorship on a more personal level. And so I started back in October, the mentorship Hopes inner circle. And it has grown to over 600 members already. And we just have powerful times together. We had one last night with Christine Kane, Darius Daniels.
It's a development time.
Yeah, it really is.
I would like to be on there and maybe help out one day. I haven't been asked.
Yes, you have.
Develop people again.
Yeah, but you said you don't get days off, so you don't get days off. You don't want me to ask you to be on.
But I got to dial in, though. I got to think. My mind's kind of tired. I got to dial in because this right here is a great topic. I was just reading the first three chapters. You know, chapter one, my husband is amazing.
Oh, is that right?
Chapter two, I can't live without him. Chapter three, if you just knew anyone like my husband. This is a good book, man.
Is it?
Yes. And people need to make sure they get it and read it.
You are silly today.
I Do that when I'm tired. I know I do that when I'm tired. You took my day off and made me travel all day. And traveling is not a day off. When you leave one side of the country in the morning and get the other one at 11 or 12 o' clock at night, it's not a day off. Then you eat plain food, they bring you Sun Chips and tell you it's supper. Actually, you want some water and some sun chips. Sitting there starving, you can pay extra and get Pringles sitting there starving.
Oh, my goodness.
If you don't fight, you don't win. Hope the other day, let's jump into it. We have to have our three or four minutes of silliness. I had two gentlemen at the house who in some way or another, some of them have served in four or five different capacities at the church. But I think both of them together had about 40 years of tenure or more with me at Redemption, me and you. And we started going, I've done something I've never done. We stayed up one night and we're sitting in our den just talking. Don't get to do that a lot. And these people have served at the highest level in our organization. And we just started going year by year. I started about year 97 and 98 and we went through the battles, literally, Hope, year by year. I've never done that. So I think 98 now, I think 99.
It's like, why would you do that?
I think 2001. And when I got through, I was like, wow.
Yeah, yeah. I'm like, how did we make it.
Out of our lives? How are we even still in the game? You know, victorious, ministering our heart in the right place, still love people, not jaded. Forget all that. How are we even still in the game now? Number one, I'm not going to talk about our own fortitude. We're going to talk about the grace of God. You know, it's the grace of God that supplies. I know I'm jingling, ain't it? It's the grace of God that supplies you. And he's a very present help in a time of trouble. And God has been there. But there has been some uncommon struggles. And everybody don't know our battles. They know of the battle. They don't know all the other ones. And there were probably 10 other ones swirling while that one was going on. And when I really just started rehearsing that. And some of them, the deep, deep plan of the enemy over and over again to try to take Us out of the game.
That's his job description.
I don't mean just take you out of life. I'm talking about take you out of purpose. Take you to where you say, you know what? Forget this, I'm done. And I went back through my feelings during those times and I really tried to get back in my mind, where was I, what was I experiencing during that time? And I probably had about three times in 33 years now where I was.
Like, you wanted to give up.
I don't know if this is worth it anymore. I don't know if this is worth it. I think we want to spend the half hour talking to those people. Everybody's got to fight, everybody's got to win. Everybody's had a battle. But that's a different kind of place. When you are at the place you're saying, I don't know. You know, I don't know if this marriage is worth it, what I'm going through and what I'll have to go through to repair. I don't know if it's worth it, what it's going to take to keep this business afloat, what it's going to take for me to stay in ministry. When you're at that place that does the reward outweigh the conflict? And you're already at the point, you are literally weighing the two and about to throw in the towel. I haven't read the book cover to cover. I talked with you, why you wrote it. Yeah, but what does your book say to those people? Let's just go right out the gate and just hit it hard.
Well, my dedication was. This book is dedicated to every person who feels like giving up, throwing in the towel. For the single moms who have been giving it their all, working two or three jobs just to pay the bills, but don't have time to take the kids to the park or to get ice cream. For the addict who worked so hard to try to stay clean, landed a good job, but woke up in a crack house after he swore he'd never do it again. This book is for the people who don't feel good enough, smart enough, or brave enough to even try one more time to do something significant in life. For the tired people, the abused people, the broke people, the handicapped people, the wrong side of the tracks people. This book is for me. This book is for you. Because we've all been there. We've all been there.
You think everybody has. You think everybody's been at the point. I don't know if it's worth it. That's a long way. I don't know if anybody's been there.
I don't know if everybody has been there.
Everybody's been in a struggle.
Yeah.
But this, I mean, some of them, they. I don't know. Worth it is. I don't know if life is worth living. I mean, it can be. Even suicidal tendencies like this journey so far. If this is all life has to offer me, I've come to the conclusion it's not worth it.
Well, the whole book is not about, you know, when you say if you don't fight, you don't win, that immediately pulls up the connotation, I'm going to get up every day and I'm going to have to fight the devil and fight, fight. That's not what I'm talking about. I'm saying you've got to fight to overcome you. You gotta fight to overcome depression. You gotta fight to overcome, you know, bad choices. You got to fight to get out of debt.
You're talking about enemies within.
Yes. You gotta fight, you know, to live a victorious life. You've got to fight to have willpower, you know. You know the saying that people say, choose your hard. I have a little part in the book, choose your hard. You know, being fat is hard. You can't walk where you want to walk. You can't. You know, your knees hurt. But getting in shape is hard. Choose your heart, choose your hard. And the whole goal for every Christian listening is to walk out our life in purpose, in purpose what God's plan is for us. And that is not easy because we have an enemy. John 10:10. We have an enemy, the devil. We also have an enemy within us, our critic and, you know, our flesh, our unrenewed mind that keeps us stuck. But we also have a heavenly Father who also chastens those he loves. Some things are just spankings on the bun.
Some things ain't the devil.
Yeah. Some things are not the devil. Some hard things. The chastening have come by God. So life is always going to be hard.
Nobody ever preaches that chapter.
No.
And nobody ever preaches that.
No.
So let me talk about, first of all, the enemy without. I don't think the enemy fights every. I don't think I have. Boy, I sure don't want to give him any benefit. But if you read about the enemy, he's highly organized, he is highly strategic. And what the Bible reveals about him and his character and nature, he doesn't seem to be, to me, one to waste resources. He's highly targeted.
He knows where you're at.
This was not a part of the book per se, but it has to do roundabout.
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I said I don't think that the enemy is one to waste time or resources. So let's look. There is the. You said three things. Let's talk about three categories in our time. The enemy within. The chastening of the Lord. The enemy without. Let's talk about external enemies. External enemies are when the enemy Sets up roadblocks to purpose.
That's right.
They are there sometimes to overwhelm you, but most of the time they're there to drain you. They're one after the other. They don't even have to be big. They just never seem to stop. Yeah, they never seem to stop.
Wears you down.
Yes. So here again, it's wearing the enemy down. My favorite team, University of South Carolina, is having an uncommon year where they are 20 and three right now, and they were picked to be dead last in their conference and their second. And they say their style of basketball is slow. Keep the score low and they wear their opponent out.
Wow. Wow.
That's unusual for basketball. Basketball is a very fast paced game and they say that they've taken a whole different approach and it's wearing teams down. I believe the enemy's approach lets you reach your goals slow. Don't let you see many rewards. Draw out the time and wear you down. Frustrate you to where you see the goal is. You don't have enough gas emotionally, mentally, physically, or spiritually to reach it. Number two, you've got to. You say, how do I know Purpose. Watch the place of attack. The place of attack always reveals what the enemy is scared of. Always. So when you say the enemy comes to kill, steal and destroy, he comes to kill, steal and destroy that thing in you to me that sets you apart and makes you different. It's not the common in you he wants, it's the uncle.
He wants your call. He wants your call so that you're not fruitful and productive. Because only when you're walking in, your purpose is where you find fulfillment.
Where can. Okay, if somebody is facing that thing where they like, you know what? I don't have enough gas in the tank. You know, where do you go to replenish? Where do you go to find that? I think you.
You got to go back to the manufacturer.
You have to go back to the well. You got to go back to the well and draw again. Because I've always told our leaders, you've got four forms of energy. Mental, spiritual, physical, and emotional. And they all are depleted. And you got to find a way to replenish all of them. So whenever I feel drained because I got so many roadblocks sitting up around me and outside, you've got to go find the source of your strength. You're looking for something, ain't you?
No. We were just talking about potential and I knew I had a quote in by Zig Ziglar. I wanted to say it right when you catch a glimpse of your potential, that's when passion is born.
Say it again.
When you catch a glimpse of your potential, that's when passion is born.
I agree wholeheartedly with that, Zig Ziglar.
And it's true that you cannot flourish until you're walking in your God given potential. And that is what the enemy is designed to do, is to keep you from walking in your God. He knows if you're saved, you're going to die one day and go to heaven.
And until you're finished, your passion doesn't diminish.
Right? But who wants to just live miserable on this earth waiting to go to heaven? I don't.
I don't either.
I want to live fulfilled here on earth. And that is what this book is all about.
What do you say about the enemies within?
I think that's one of our biggest, is that the enemy's within. You've got all this outside. You know he's coming, right? You know he's coming. That's his job. I mean, and he is a good devil. He lives up to his job description. Kill, steal and to destroy. But here we are. You know, I have a chapter in here called how's yous Heart? Because your heart is going to produce whatever is in it, right? It's gonna. If you got it in you. Yeah.
The issues of the heart, flow. The issues of life, flow.
Your issues of life. You can't blame your mama, you can't blame your wife, your husband, your bank account. The lack of your life reflecting who you are on the inside.
Your life is reflecting what you let in. Yes.
And it grows.
Right? And so the heart is the place where unseen things become seen, where thoughts and attitudes become manifestations. It's the place of exchange. It says, guard your heart with all diligence in the scripture before.
For out of it.
For out of it comes the issues of life. And I call a heart like a city. If you read the Bible, every city had gates. The guards are not set up at the city, the guards are set up at the gates. So you got an ear gate, an eye gate and a mouth gate. You got to set up a guard at the gate. Because once it's got past there and reached the city, you're done for. Because your heart is.
Because it's going to.
Your heart is a garden. For out of it flow the issues of life. In other words, whatever gets in you, your heart is like soil. It pushes the life out of it to the surface. And so there's a lot of times Sweetheart, the enemy within. There are, you know, there are hangups, there are hurts, there are pains, there are family curses, generational. There are family curses, there are mindsets. I brought a person today to talk to the monetarily monetary welfare of my staff. I want my staff to do well. I want my staff to be homeowners. I want my staff to be debt free. I don't want that for just me and you. I want it for everybody connected to me. And I can't, I don't know all the things to get everybody there, but I brought somebody in who could. And you know what? Everybody started coming up to me saying, nobody tells us this, nobody exposes us to this. And by the way, he's going to be our next guest. But the fact is, what was he doing? He wasn't breaking stuff around you. He's breaking stuff in you.
Yeah, in you. That's true. So that's why it's so important to, to work on you all the time.
What does that mean, work on you?
I mean, you've got to be in prayer, you've got to be in the word. You've got to get under good godly leadership. You've got to be in mentorship. That's why we did the inner circle, so that we can work on us. You know, we are not naturally inclined to get up and grind and really just deal with our own issues. Right. We want to cover them up, we want to hide them, we want to nurse them at times, we're not naturally inclined to do that. But if you have somebody in your life who you love and trust, who can point them out and who can help you with them, that's why it's so important to find mentors and counselors and people in your life who can help you work on you.
So we were talking about this yesterday, some, some difficulties on staff where we have people within the same department that are really hungry and wanting to grow. And we have others that are just kind of coasting. And let me tell you something. Underachievers hate overachievers.
They sure do.
And overachievers don't normally want to be around underachievers. Greatness usually wants to be around greatness.
That's right.
Grinders want to be around grinders. And so you got to, when it comes to breaking stuff and you talking about you're not inclined to get up every day and confront it, the fact is there is intentionality among great people. There is an intentionality to confront things that hold them back.
That's true. Because we want to be great.
Yes. What is the thought? What is the hurt? What is the past? What is the relationship? What is the hate? What is the unforgiveness? What is the addiction? What is the proclivity? What is this thing that has this big button on my chest that says self destruct and we mash it all the time. People that achieve greatness have to confront their own weaknesses and stumbling blocks.
We can say we want to be great. We can say that we want to be better. We can say that we want to have nice toned legs. But we will never have nice toned legs until we hate the dumpy ones. The hate for where you are has got to outweigh every time so that it will press you forward. You have got to be willing to endure the pain of getting better so that you can get better. It's your turn.
I'm going to do this one.
Yeah.
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Yeah.
And you have got to be able intentionally to get around voices and to expose yourself to things that will expose where you are. To make you hungry for something else. It's hard to want grapes you've never tasted. That's why God let them bring the grapes back and taste the grapes from the promised land. To put a taste in their mouth that there's a life better than manna and water. There's a land that flows with milk and honey and that's better than manna and water. Manna and water will sustain me. But there's so much more out there that God has.
Good to great, right? Good to great.
And God will offend A, to get you to move to B.
Yes, he will.
Baby, you got a place in your book where you talk about the faithfulness of God. What do you mean the faithfulness of God?
No matter what you're going through, Ron, you and I know this. We've lived long enough to know it. No matter what you're going through, he's going to use the good, the bad, the ugly. Romans 8, 28. All things. He's going to use it all for our good, for his glory. Here's the thing about battles and trouble. You don't know what's in you until you're tested. Sometimes you don't know what's in you until you're tested. I took a test yesterday and I had studied and studied and studied for this particular test. And I actually. I failed the test. Actually.
It's a new business opportunity and you had to be certified.
But I had no idea what I knew until I took the test. I Surprised myself at what I actually knew. I'm proud of myself. Pat myself on the back for what I've learned. But you don't know what's in you until you're tested. Right.
Two ways. You know what's in you. Number one, you don't know what's in you till a demand has been placed on it.
That's right.
And you don't know what's in you till you've been tested. So sometimes. Are you saying that God will allow the test to bring out parts of you that you've never purchased?
Absolutely. Absolutely. You cannot get to the next level. I can't get to third grade until I've passed second grade. I can't get.
And second grade has a series of tests?
Yes.
Then you advance.
Absolutely.
And when you pass the test, you graduate.
Yeah.
Let me keep going. And when you graduate, you graduate from the top to the bottom.
Yeah. You're starting over, but at a different level.
You go from elementary school, you graduate. Now you're at junior high. Bottom, sixth grade, you go through the series of tests. Eighth grade, you graduate, but you graduate and you're a freshman in high school. You graduate from top to bottom. So whenever you graduate, you leave that season, but you go to another level.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Another level. So in all the things I don't just have to read this out of scripture, you and I know by testimony.
Yeah.
There has never been a test where God didn't show up. Now, there's two ways about tests. God delivers you out of the test or he gets in it with you.
Yes.
God has not delivered us from as many as I wish he had of.
But he sure has.
What? He crawled in all of them.
He's faithful to us.
Some of them, I just. Lord, take this. He did some of them. Yeah, but, you know.
But that's the life of faith, Ron. The life of faith is not an easy life. When I say the life of faith, that's not rainbows and butterflies. A life of faith is fighting a good fight of faith that is looking at nothing and calling it something that's up at night, crying, believing anyway and believing anyway and saying what God says. That is, if you don't fight, you don't win. You've got to look at the situation, the pain in your life, the bankruptcy, the rape, the divorce. And you cannot let that stop you. You've got to look into it and say what God says over your life because he is faithful. He will get in that fight with you, but you got to fight nonetheless.
Every Christian preacher and speaker in the world has a sermon or a teaching series that's trying to help people process pain. People are trying to make sense of what they've been through. The bottom line is this. For our light and momentary afflictions are working for us a far greater weight of glory. Listen to this. And he works all things out for our good and for his glory.
Glory.
What is a glory? The glory in the Old Testament means weight and authority, but in the New Testament it means likeness. Every single test, trial, trouble, affliction, whatever you want to name it, there is a part of me that comes out with a resemblance of him that before that I did not have.
Yes. I believe that if we embrace it, if we allow it, a lot of us go through pain, trouble, divorce, all these things makes you worse and it makes you worse. It can either make you bitter or better. Right. You've got to embrace it. I say in the book, you've got to let trouble be your fuel to make you better, not your fuel to make you worse and bitter.
Right. Well, we got another sponsor.
We do. I'm so excited. We have three this time.
Yes, it is.
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Well, baby, we thank God for all three of our sponsors and for those of y' all who want us to zip by the sponsors. That's how we do what we do.
That's right.
None of you don't see what else and who else is in this room. And that's how we pay these bills. We're grateful for those. Guys, please do the Slash, Ron and Hope thing and go check out all of our sponsors because we wouldn't be advertising them if they weren't people that we used ourselves.
That's right.
So, Hope, I need to end with this. We're going to take three to five minutes and we're going to let everybody go. What do you want to say about your book? Why should somebody go out and spend, what is it, you know, 15, 16, $18, whatever. What are they getting with that investment? I want you to be able to.
Say that, you know, I think I said this at the beginning. We've lived long enough to, to go through enough battles on our own to look back and say, oh, that didn't work. We didn't make that. You know, we failed that test. Or look at us right here, we're thriving. We really pressed through and we made it. I see so many people in ministry. You know, we've been doing this 30 something years now. And I see the ones. Because trouble hits everybody's life. Right.
It doesn't discriminate.
No, it does not discriminate. It's going to hit everybody's life. The story of the two houses. One was built on the rock, one was built on the sand. The, the thing everybody talks about the foundation, but the thing I want to say about it is the storm visited both houses.
Doesn't matter where it's built. No, everybody.
Storms came.
Yeah.
So I see people encountering storms and I see them just throwing their hands up and giving up so quick and so easy. And I've seen the benefit of pressing through. I've seen the benefit of not choosing the easy way. I understand what it takes to overcome. I understand what it. I'm not perfect. I haven't done it right every time, but when I have done it right, God shows up and he rewards my faithfulness. He rewards my faith. And I just wanted to write this book to give people a spiritual B12 shot right in the arm to say, you got this. Battles are coming. Hard times are coming. We all have it. But you got to get in the ring. God is not a genie in a bottle. God is not pixie dust over your life.
He's strategic.
He comes into your life in cooperation with you in the fight. You fight the good fight of faith, saying what God says, believing what he's told you to believe. And you will see victory on the other side of your fight if you decide to get in the ring and fight.
In the words of the goat, John Maxwell, nothing of value comes easy.
Nope.
Nothing. Guys, we love you, and I want you to go out. I got. I'm going to tell you something, okay? Hope is a really good writer. It was an undiscovered gift on the inside of her. And when she wrote her last book and she sat down for the first time and said, let me read to you what I got. Not that I ever doubted you. I've just never seen you do that. I've seen you teach voice lessons. I've seen you in beauty pageants. I've seen you preach. I've seen every. All the. But I've never seen you write a book. And I'm going to toot your horn here. I was amazed at how fluently you wrote. This is not a ghostwriter. You sat down and wrote every word you didn't give somebody. So a lot of people don't know how this works. Sometimes you give somebody four or five points and they write it for you, and that's legitimate. People do that. I get it, because everybody's not a writer, but they got stuff to say. You wrote every single word of this book, and you did so very fluently. And it's easy to read. And so I just want to tell you guys, it is worth it, especially if something is draining you and you're looking. You know, I don't know if I have enough to finish or if I even want to. This is an emergency code red book for you.
It is.
So anyway.
And you can get it for free if you go to hopesinnercircle.com and then you get the first month of mentorship for free as well. Or you can buy it the regular way. Anywhere books are sold. Go to hopecarpenter.com, you can just purchase it that way. But I'd love to have you in the mentorship, in the inner circle, because we're growing. We're becoming more like Jesus, and we're doing it together.
We love you guys. And until next time.
Unfiltered, real, raw and relevant.
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