"Must Have" Traits for Leadership | Ron + Hope: Unfiltered

Hello, hello, hello. Welcome to Ron and Hope. Unfiltered, real, raw and relevant. Man, I tell you what, I miss having my wife here to go back and forth. I know you miss looking at her because she's pretty and she certainly makes it a little bit more fun when she's here. But I've been really enjoying being able to just give you some of my content. I hope that don't lose you, because I want to give you what I think are two indelible traits of leadership. I got three. I'm not going to get to three today. And I'm going to take a little shorter time in the podcast because I really want you to retain a lot of this. So I'm not talking about Christian leadership. I'm not talking about, you know, pastor leadership. I'm just talking about qualities because I am of the opinion. I didn't read this in a book. This is my opinion, and it's been verified by my experiences. I am of the opinion. People buy into you before they buy into what you want to do, they have to buy into you. I think there are people that believe in Ron Carpenter before they believe in Ron Carpenter's vision. So Ron Carpenter has to be the kind of man they believe in. That's a pretty high bar. If people want to give you the investment of their time. If people want to give you the investment of maybe volunteerism. If people want to give you the investment of I'm going to come work for you. If people want to give you the investment of money, of contribution, I think they have to buy into you, the person. So I think leadership is not merely a skill as much as it is traits within the actual man or woman themselves. You know, well, boy, he's a really skilled leader. He's a talented leader. Yeah, I believe skill, I believe talent. I believe even knowledge can play into it. But there's some people that walk into a room and own a room and don't even know why they own it. There's some people that walk in and everybody listens. They don't listen to anything this guy says, but they listen to everything this one says. And this person may not even what's going on. And the fact is they have mastered something that they didn't even know that they've mastered. And sometimes it's the key to what are the innate things inside of a person that inspires followship and someone else. I'm a leader, but I don't mind following. But usually I do a lot of checking out the person before I check out what the person does. Usually I do a lot of checking out the organization before I check out what the organization does because I, I have to buy into you before I buy into it. Okay, so what kind of person do you need to be? What are the characteristics that need to define the kind of person that people would want to follow? This is from the book of Ron Carpenter. I can't turn to a chapter and verse in the Bible. I could certainly give you support references if I'd have taken the time to do that. But that's not what I'm trying to accomplish. And this isn't something that I've read somewhere and I'm regurgitating it to you. These are, you know, over three decades of experiences of learning, a lot of it the hard way, through trial and error, through, you know, reward and through pain. So the first one I want to talk about is being a self aware leader. I'm not the first one to use that term, but let me tell you my take on it. I am amazed and mystified by the people who desire to lead that are completely and totally unaware of their weaknesses. I mean, blind to them. Totally blind. It's been said it's hard to smell your own stink. And even Jesus said, before you talk about the speck in your brother's eye, remove the plank out of your own eye. Well, the speck and the plank are both made out of the same thing. Sometimes you're dealing with a lot of what you're trying to call out in another person. Okay, you say, man, he's already gotten tough. Yep, a self aware leader. The characteristics of a leader, being there early, being there late, and outworking everybody that's there, that needs to be a gift. You don't need to be taught that. It needs to be innate. Okay? There was a long time people didn't mind following me when I was young because a lot of people, it's hard to buy into a leader that's young. Because if you're 15 years, you know, if I'm 24 and I'm a senior pastor and you're 40, what does a 24 year old have to tell me? But I was a 21 year old senior pastor, so I realized I was going to have to go above and beyond to get a 45 year old to follow me. Okay? That was innate in me. Nobody had to take me to a class to teach me that. Nobody had to say, Ron, you know, you probably really need to be disciplined or you really need to work on your diligence. I Knew inside. I'm going to have to do twice as much in the same amount of time and go twice as far and do it more efficiently to earn people's respect just sheerly out of my age. Self awareness, self awareness, self awareness of. I'm going to have to be more responsible and they're going to have to see extra discipline in my life for me to be heard. Self aware. Okay, if you're not self aware, then here's what you do. You put the burden on other people that have to work with you or who are near you to have to point these things out. And once weaknesses have been pointed out, the nature of the relationship changes. You can have a great working relationship. Then all of a sudden somebody comes to you with a critique, a criticism, or sometimes just having to call something out and address it. All of a sudden the nature of the relationship has gotten very, very weird. Why? It wasn't because they had to call you out. It's because you are not self aware that this was an issue in the first place. Okay, if you are falling behind, it needs to dawn on you first. If you're not pulling your load, it needs to dawn on you first. If everybody in your project management team has finished their assignment and you're the only one not finished, it needs to dawn on you. You don't need to be called into anybody else's office. If you're the one that constantly has to be called in, you're not self aware. And self aware people are the only people that really can rightfully fill the shoes of being the leader. You can't be the leader if you never see your flaws. Okay, now let me bring you into my world. I can sing a little bit. Okay. If the service is not moving, I sense atmospheres now. I'm strong with atmospheres. I'm not a great singer. I'm aware of that. I'm aware that God has anointed me to get up and shift an atmosphere. I'm also aware that God has not given me a great skill set of singing. But if the service is just plowing along, I know that I have enough to go up and grab the mic and move it to a different passion dimension. And usually that comes with me introducing a next song or modulating or shifting it, exhorting the people, starting another course. And I know how to do just enough to move it, then bow back out. It's been amazing to me how people, how many people think they can sing and they flat can't sing and everybody else has to endure it. Okay. Who think they're a great, great public speaker and they're a horrible public speaker. And somebody has got to risk the relationship by telling them you can't do the thing that you're trying to do. So I had a meeting yesterday where I'm going to try something out with somebody and I said, here's what I want to set right up in advance. If a year from now this, this and this has not happened, I want us to come back to this meeting and go ahead and establish right now we're going to say we tried, but this ain't it. We said it up front. We're going to remove all offense. These are the things that I need to see to let me know we got the right person in the right place. Okay? If I don't see this, this and this, there's nothing wrong with you. You just don't belong here. And we got to find that place where you can automatically bloom. Okay? So what am I trying to do? I'm trying to let this person see the goals that have been set before them and be self aware in what is the strength and what is the weakness. Why? Because I need them to become a leader themselves without my watchful eye being all over whether or not they are good at what I have released them to do. So for our leader. I know I can't sing well, so I don't try to sing solos. Okay? I just got out of a meeting. I told everybody in there, this is what I told them. I said, I'm the problem. That's why I'm having this meeting, because I am going to make changes. Because I realize the reason this has not been successful is because I am the problem now. Ron, have you always been able to do that? No. I'm sure there's been seasons of my life. I was young, immature, defensive. But as I've gotten older, I've really figured out that a lot of the reason things aren't doing well is because Ron's at fault. And so growing in self awareness, I sit there and say, guys, my machine is not the problem and you're not the problem personnel. The problem is me. So I'm calling this meeting, letting you know I'm shifting this, this and this. And because of that, I need you to change this, this and this. And we're going to see if we can't make this successful again. Everybody in that meeting, I could tell, had an appreciation and I could tell the respect level went up because why shoo. We haven't got to sit there and Bite our lip knowing that pastor is not good at this. I told them I was the reason it was failing. Self awareness. Self awareness. I told we just got our new facility on the east coast and it is just a magnificent facility and I'm so grateful but I had to wait three and a half years. I can promise you three and a half years of setting up and tearing down was not in my timeline. One of my great strengths is I can make something happen. I'm just built that way. If the door won't open, I'll kick it down. I can finagle, I can get creative, I can just get me in a room with somebody and I will make a deal happen. This is an area where my strength is also my weakness. Because a lot of times God wants me to wait on his thing instead of me making something out of nothing. And this last time I was so proud of myself because there were three things God laid out in front of me and I had about 10 or 12 properties that it was. I felt the pressure to make something happen for my team. I saw how they were struggling and as a leader I wanted to fix it. It's not bad motives, but I knew God was telling me to be patient. I'd had some prophetic utterances tell me, you know, you need to pause, you need to be patient, you're going to get ahead of God here. And then one of the things I was able to do finally at age 56, after 33 years of pastoring, I was able to wait. And then God just laid something amazing right in our lap. And every other deal that I was about to make happen would have paled in comparison to what God brought me. But here, again, self aware. I know what my strength is, but I know my strength is my weakness. In the same area, I've sat here and told you all my self awareness. What's yours? What do the people who work with you or work around you wish they could tell you and it not change the relationship. This is an inescapable, indelible characteristic of a person that is going to have longevity and leadership. You are very aware of where you have failed. You are aware where you succeeded. You're aware where you're wrong, you're aware where you're right. And you're aware when you need to change, when the problem is something else. And you're aware when the problem is you. That is a hard place to get to because it is the crucifixion of all ego. It is the crucifixion of your Flesh. It is the crucifixion of 10 year status, achievement and everything else. To sit to a group of people say I screwed this up and the problem's me. Are you self? Aware? Are you self aware enough to call yourself out? Secondly, an indelible characteristic of a leader. They have to have it. It's clarity. Here's my self awareness kicking in. I didn't know how much I struggled in clarity until I had an outside group come in and analyze my organization. And it was humbling and it was sobering because Paul said when we compare ourselves amongst ourselves, it's not wise. And I would compare the machinery of my organization to the machinery of others. And we were ahead of some, we were behind others, we were on par with others. And so I kind of felt like, you know, I'm in a pretty good place. So it's pretty clear to everybody the mission that we are trying to achieve. But then I get somebody who don't love me, who don't care about me, and is not prejudiced or biased by anything and will come in and objectively analyze and come show you the results. And when I did that, I saw there was a lot of vagueness and ambiguity within my vision, within what we were trying to accomplish that needed clarity that could only be brought by me. The Bible says it this way. Write the vision down and make it plain. Listen to me, don't go away. I'm not going to start preaching that they that read it may run with it. Number one, that scripture presupposes that God already has certain people in certain places at certain times that he has already ordained to enter your life in certain seasons to do certain things. Some of them will enter to stay. That will be very few others will enter and be able to exit. We've got to learn how to let people exit as peacefully as we let them enter. Just because somebody exited your life, that does not mean you need to assassinate their character. And they dropped me and they left me. It just means there are long term relationships, there are short term relationships and we need relationships and we need to be mature enough to be at peace with both. There's some people that are there for a while to help me get to a certain place or maybe I'm in their life for a while to help them get to a certain place. And then there's an exiting, there's a parting of the way, then there's that small group that's with you usually for the entire journey. And they have been able to navigate through all of the ups and downs of your journey. And those are the people that qualify for the long term relationships. They are small in number, they will never be large in number, and they're few. And you need to value them when God brings them in your life. So make the vision plain that they may read it, that they that read it may run with it. So God has already ordained the people that are supposed to run with you. Here's the problem. I hear people all the time say, you know, I don't have any help. I don't have any help. I don't have any leaders. I don't have any. We don't have any volunteer. Okay, let me go back to this. Is what you're trying to accomplish clear? Is it clear? Because usually the people don't show up till there's clarity. Okay? Clarity. Clarity is usually brought about by simplification. Let me give an example. 2009, the Church, the local church. I hate this term, but there's no other term given to it, so I'm going to use it. Redemption was now a mega church and was widely known and just a great people that God had assembled and doing great things. But we were rolling over now into our media and our worldwide TV ministry. That's a shift where every time you pick up a microphone, you know that you're not. Now the people in the room is the smallest crowd you speak to. And you cannot speak to the Burger King that's right down the road or how you turned in into the church off such and such drive because you know, the person in New Mexico or the person in Uganda watching your TV show don't know where that road is and ain't never heard of Burger King. So it was a shift in the way I had to lead. All right? I brought these two gentlemen in. One a leadership and structural guy, one a marketing and PR guy. And I laid out everything I wanted to do. Okay? And I said, do you think with our present structure that you have analyzed, can we accomplish this? One said, yes. And the other said, I don't know. Okay. And the one that said, I don't know. I said, tell me what you mean by that. He said, because I'm not sure everybody in your organization is clear about your next season and what you're trying to accomplish. When I got through talking to him, I called that gentleman back later and I said, you really helped me remember. I said, clarity is brought about by simplification. Listen, I said, it has dawned on me that I have all these things that we're doing. But for me to accomplish the plan I laid out to you. Me being successful is not going to depend on what I say yes to, but what I say no to. You being able to say yes, I mean, no to things lets others know that you know what the yes is. People that say yes to everything don't know what their yes should be. So one thing Ron Carpenter knows how to do at 56 that I'm not sure the 36 version knew. I know what to say no to. Because if what you're bringing to me don't line up with my yes, I'm going to tell you no. And I used to just think, you know, the world is lost and I got to save it. So you say yes to everything that didn't lead anywhere good. And now that I know what my yes is, I have to say no to a lot of stuff that have nothing to do with my yes. Does that make sense? So simplification of my life allowed me to go from a local pastor to a worldwide TV guy. Now, you know, social media has entered the fray. That's changed the game again. But going from a church building to 148 nations was a huge jump. And I had to start going and saying, for me to accomplish that, this is no longer important. This is no longer important because the success came from the nos, not from the yes. What do you need to simplify? What do you need to clarify so that the people God's ordained can run with you? Okay. Does your self awareness need to be the fact that you're unclear? Two indelible traits? I could do 100 podcasts on two traits and do them each time. Because there's many traits of a leader. Why am I telling you these two traits? Self awareness. Okay. And clarity. You got to be a person that is aware and a person that is clear. And there are many, many others that you have to have. Why? Because like I said at the first of the podcast, they buy into you before they buy into it. And that's two of the traits that everybody does not mind buying into. I hope this has helped you. Give me a little response on that comment down in the comment section. I'd really like to hear what you got to say and subscribe if you're not a subscriber yet. And then also like and comment and everything else. Let's push that algorithm up and try to get this in front of some people that really, really need to hear it. All right, I love you guys. Hope's going to be back soon. Pray for her. She's taking care of her mom and dad. Her mom has been now recently moved out of ICU into a room and now out of a room into rehab. So being an elderly lady, she has recuperated quite well. But Hope has been her caretaker for some time and she's got a lot on her right now. So it means we have to shift and adapt to do what we do. I can't wait to have her back. But like and comment on here, share it, let somebody know about it. Maybe just this may be what I've said today can help somebody out. And until next time, it's Ron and Hope. Even though you haven't just Ron, real raw and relevant. It's us unfiltered every time. God bless you, we love you and we'll see you soon.