Preview To The Rendezvous -Pastor Hope Carpenter

Men, you better be ready. That's all I can say. And all the women said, I told Ron, I said, I don't want no candy. I really don't want no flowers. I'd rather have the $50. Just give me the $50. Those flowers die. Matter of fact, make it a hundred. You get me a good bouquet. It's about 79.99, right? Just have her something. You know what I really like? I love a card from my husband. It is just so special to me that he would take time to go into CVS or Walgreens and waltz down that aisle and have to read all those. Don't tell me he don't read. Don't tell me he picks up the first one. See, in my mind, he's standing there reading and toiling over all these cards and picking out the best one that is so appropriate for me. Not just, yeah, so I'm just going to keep believing my dream. But the greatest part is when he writes in it. I love when he writes something so sweet. He doesn't have to get me anything else if he gets me that card. So, guys, go get her a card. Shh. Don't tell her I told you. She really likes that. Especially when you write something so sweet. It just means something to us, right? It's going above and beyond just going to picking out some candy. So do something special for the one you love. All right, thank you, guys. As I was praying and preparing what to share with you tonight, we have tons of messages on relationships. And let me take this out so I don't choke. We have tons of messages on relationships, and we've done marriage conferences for 15, 20 years. But I said, God, that just isn't it. I need something that we can live by 24, 7, 365. I need something, God, that's really going to radically change way that we live. How many of you want God to radically change the way you live? You know, we do healing the heart and we see so many people's lives and what happens is the way we were brought up and what we did or didn't get takes us into adulthood. And then we see all these relationships in our life that just aren't going well. That just failure after failure and job after job and guy after guy or girl after girl, relationship after relationship, and none of them ever become meaningful. None of them ever become lifelong. And that is not what God's purpose and plan is for our life. I believe God wants us to have lifelong, meaningful relationships that we can look back over Our life. And we stood the test of time. We lasted, we shared things, you know, the good, you know, the bad, you know, the ugly. We fought, we cried, but we persevered and we made it right. And we see so many people in so many relationships who just cannot persevere and who cannot go the distance, who cannot last all the way to the end. And it's true. God does not have everybody in your life to get go the distance. There's people who are temporary. There are people who are scaffolding. There are people who are there for a season to teach you and to help you. But I do believe that there are people that God has assigned to our life to go the distance. And because of the conditions of our heart, we sabotage those relationships and we fail. And we end up miserable and we end up sad and we end up hurt. We end up broken and we're jaded. We don't trust people. Maybe it's just me, not you, right? But I believe if we can get this teaching that God can radically shift and change our life. How many of you really feel like you need a radical shift and change in the area of your life, in the area of your relationships? God wants you to have good, meaningful, fulfilling relationships. And especially in marriage. God did not design marriage for you to tolerate it. He designed marriage for you to celebrate it, not to tolerate it. Not like, oh, God, I gotta see him again. Oh, Jesus, I wish he'd go on a business trip if I have to see him scratch his feet one more time. No. Who wants to live like that? I don't want to live like that. So, God, I pray that you help me tonight to communicate. God, help us to receive the Word, help our heart to hear, to receive and to be changed by the Word. In Jesus name, amen. So I prayed and I've asked God and, and I've asked him this over my life. God, teach me how to love. Teach me how to love people. And you know, the only love story I know is mine and Ron's, so. And it's a pretty good one. It's a pretty ooey gooey one. I mean, we've had hills and valleys, ups and downs, good and bad, but we're still here. So the only love story I know is ours. And we're still here because we're fighters. We are fighters. And if you're in the Kingdom, you better learn how to punch and hit and claw and kick. Because the Bible says the Kingdom suffers violence, but the violent take it by right. So that tells me to Occupy to obtain. You can't be weak and you can't be petty, and you can't wanna just suck on a bottle. In relationships, there's work, there's fight, there's suffering, there's prayer, there's humility, there's grace, there's mercy, there's forgiveness. No relationship is perfect. No relationship is easy. And it all requires focus, and it all requires work. It all requires you to be a fighter. See, the Word raises the bar on your response to people, right? The Bible is our manual. So the Word raises the bar, doesn't it? The world has its own bar, but the Word raises the bar on our response to people. How we treat people, how we love, how we forgive, how gracious we are, the mercy we dish out. The Word raises the bar. The Word is your standard, not your feelings. Y' all hard tonight. See, the world's standard is an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth. You smack me, I'm gonna smack you back harder. You lie on me, I'm gonna tell two on you, right? That's the world's standard. But the word standard is different. Go to Mark 10. You got your Bibles. Go to Mark 10. Get your phone out, it'll be up on the screen. Mark 10, verse 1. Then he arose from there and came to the region of Judea by the other side of the Jordan. And multitudes gathered to him again. And as he was accustomed, he taught them again. The Pharisees came and asked him, is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife? Testing him. And he answered and said to them, well, what did Moses command you? They said, moses permitted a man to write a certificate of divorce and to dismiss her. And Jesus answered and said to them, he permitted it because of the hardness of your heart. He wrote to you this precept. But from the beginning of the creation, God made them male and female. For this reason, a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. So then they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, let no man, not even yourself, not even yourself saying self, why did he say that it was was okay to divorce because they had done something so bad? No, he said, it's okay. He said, I'm going to let you do it because you ain't the Christian you think you are. He said, I'm going to let you do it because your inability to deal with, not because what they did, but because of the condition of your heart. It's a heart Issue. Look at somebody and say it's a heart issue. See, this is what the love of God has not been shed abroad in your heart enough to handle it. Man, leave and join what God put together. Don't let any man, not even you, rip it up. Now go to Ephesians 5. Husbands, love your wives. Yes, husbands, love your wives just as. Not less than. Just as Christ also loved the Church, how did he love the church? He gave himself for her, that he might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the Word, that he might present her to himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own body. He who loves his wife, loves himself, for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it. But as the Lord does the Church love like Christ did. How? How did Christ. He was crucified for you. He sacrificed everything for us. He was a dead man. He had no rights. He gave up all his rights. Why? So that he could sanctify me and you, so that he could live with us forever. He did it because he loves us more than he loves himself. This is what the love of God is. This is my definition. I've been saying it for years, and I'm going to say it till I die. This is the love of Christ right here. It's the love of the higher Jesus reaching down to the lower. Reach me and you and lifting up the lower above the higher. Whoo. Let that sink in a minute. It's the love of the higher reaching down to the lower and elevating the lower above the higher. And then Jesus turns around and says, husbands, love your wives like this. That's a mandate. And then he says, you sanctify her through the washing of the Word. Me and you got to know the word to be able to use the Word. How about that? When you look at your wife, if she's not everything that you think she's supposed to be, maybe you're missing out on some parts of the Word because it's your responsibility to know the Word enough so that you sanctify her through the washing of the Word so that she looks so good and squeaky clean. Listen, Jesus didn't bail on your brokenness. Jesus did not. He cleaned you. Jesus didn't bail when we messed up so bad. I was a broken mess. And your pastor was the greatest example what a husband's love is Supposed to look like in October 2013, our marriage hit rock bottom. And you know what his first response was? Flesh. That was his first response. I'm not reconciling. You remember it. And many of you said, the devil is a lie. The devil is a lie. His first response was not a mighty man of valor. That ought to encourage you. He's not perfect. There's nobody who's perfect. And most of our responses will always be flesh first, not reconciling. Angry, upset, hurt, violated all flesh. He went into self preservation. Take care of Ron. Isn't that what we do when we're hurt? We go into self preservation. Just like that. Even saved, sanctified, filled with the Holy Ghost, people baptized, speaking in tongue. Bishop, prophet, pastor, teacher. We all go to flesh sometime first. Then you got them folk in your ear. Girl, you better take care of you. You better make sure you get yours. You ain't got no godly friends nowhere, do you? I mean, your friends even try to get you in self preservation. There is a way that seems right to a man. But in the end it brings destruction. But there's another way. It's God's way that brings blessing. Somebody takes your cloak, he says, give them your tunic. Somebody slaps you on the face, he says, turn the other cheek. See, there is a way that seems right. See, it seems right that I want to rear back and punch you back. You do me wrong, I'm going to do you wrong. There is a way that seems right to a man. But in the end, it just ends up in more mess. More destruction, more heartache, more pain. No meaningful relationships. It's the road last traveled. It's the kingdom road. It's the high road. Not many can get into that straight and narrow. But come on, where's my kingdom? People in here who say I'm going to do it right if it kills me. See, God reaches into hopeless situations. He makes a way where there seems to be no way. He makes roadways in the wilderness and streams in the desert. God can do it even when you think he can't. That's the God I serve. It's the God you serve. So what's the condition of your heart? What is the condition of your heart? Are you bitter, broken, cynical, hard, critical, vengeful, spiteful, mean, mad? Look like you suck on a persimmon before you got in here. I want to love like Jesus loves. I want that to be what people say about me. Man, she loves everybody. Has God ever bailed on you? Has he ever let you down? Has he ever pushed you aside and has he ever not forgiven you? Has he ever brought up your sin? Has he ever made you pay for what you did? Has he ever brought up your failures? Has he ever said, I can't use you, You've done too much. See, that's how we're supposed to love. That's how we're supposed to treat people. The Bible says this. It says, we overcome by the blood of the lamb and what else? The word of our testimony and loving not our life. See, we love our life. We hold on to it, we preserve it. It's my little kingdom. It's my four and no more. It's my money, it's my future, it's my job, it's my relationship, it's my children, it's my husband. See, we love our life, but the Bible says that's not how you overcome. It says you overcome by the blood of the lamb. You got to have it and you got to testify because you got to tell people what God's done for you. So you overcome by the blood of the lamb, the word of the testimony, and then laying your life down. It's God's standard. It's a high standard. It's not the world's standard. Go to First Corinthians 13. You said, oh, God knew she was going there. First Corinthians 13:4. Love suffers long and it doesn't have a period. There it says, love suffers long and it's still kind while it's suffering. Man. Love suffers long and it is kind. Love doesn't envy, doesn't parade itself. Man, I'm so holy. I'm better than you. I wish you could be as good as me. Man, I've never cheated, but you cheated. Oh, man, I've never misused money. If you could get it together like me. Love never parades itself. It's not puffed up. It doesn't behave rude. It doesn't seek its own. It's not out for me, me, me, me, me. It's not provoked. It thinks no evil. How many times have you had to bring your mind into alignment when he's gone and he was supposed to be back at 10 and it's 11:15. Love thinks no evil. It does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things. Well, what about. Yeah, that. That's in all. What, you mean I got a bear? Yeah, that. That. That's in all all. Love bears all things. It believes all things. It hopes all things. It endures all Things. Love never fails. It means if you love like this, you won't be disappointed. Your relationships have to succeed. If you love like this, not one feeling is listed. I'm so in love. I'm all shook up. I'm just so in love, I got butterflies. Oh, I love how he makes me feel. I'm just so in love. And then this is what we hear. Well, I'm just not in love anymore. I'm not feeling it. I don't have those feelings. Listen, your feelings change about 27 times about what you want for dinner. I feel about six different ways when the alarm clock goes off. I mean, my feelings change all the time. I'm excited about working out while I'm doing it. Two days later, I'm cussing everybody at that gym. Not really. Not me. Our feelings change all the time, right? There is actually a chemical, there's endorphins released in your brain when you meet a new friend. You know, when you get that new friend. Ladies, when we get a girlfriend and we're like, oh, I've married. Oh, we could be sisters. Did we just become best friends? I mean, we love everything. We just like the same ice cream, we like the same stores, we like Mexican food, you know, I mean, we like the same movies, we love everything the same. And I mean, we were calling each other every day. Every day. You want to go to lunch? Sure. I mean, do you want to go here? Yes. I kept. I was just thinking about calling you. I mean, we're just so stoked about that person, right? For about six months. Then they call and you're like, oh God, it's her. Because there is a legitimate endorphin. There's a chemical released in your brain that's proven when you meet a new relationship that sets off happy feelings. And it actually wears off in about six months. But see, we think, we don't like them anymore. The chemicals just gone. And then we feel like that in our marriage. I'm just not in love anymore. No, the chemicals just gone. That has nothing. Feelings have nothing to do with love. Love is a commitment. Love is a choice. That right there suffers long. Oh, that's a feeling alright. It ain't that good one. And is kind. Does not envy. It's not a feeling. Does not parade itself. Not a feeling. Not puffed up, rude, seeks its own selfish. That's not a feeling. Not provoked. Thinks no evil. Doesn't rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth. Bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures. All things. Those are all choices that you make. Jesus loved you so much that he made a choice to go to the cross for you. Matter of fact, he loved you so much. But he was in the Garden of Gethsemane and he was sweating and he was pouring, and he said, God, I don't want to do it. If there's any other way, God, but I love him so much, I'm going to do it. See, that's what love is. Love is a choice to get out from yourself and think about other people. The love of the higher lifting, the lower above the higher. That's what love is. Love never fails. Not one feeling was listed. Matter of fact, if you start doing this, the feelings do come back. Try it. I never dreamed, honestly, I never dreamed that we could have the marriage that we have today. Never, never thought that we could have the marriage that we have today. But because we made a choice that we were going to take the high road, that we were going to do it God's way. I'm telling you, if I had to go through what we went through to get what I have today, I'd do it all over again. I would do it all over again because we have the greatest marriage that I personally never dreamed that we could have because we took the high road. Love says this. It says, I'll be here on your best day, but I'll also be here on your worst day. It says, I'll be here when you bring me good news and I'll be here when you break my heart. I'll be here when you don't cook and I'll be here when you golf three out of seven days. I'll be here because it's a choice. I choose to operate in God's standards. I choose to. Sometimes you gotta look yourself in the mirror and say, I choose to operate in God's standards. I refuse to be duped into the lie of the devil that says I have to operate like the world operates. An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth. And you do me this way. I'm gonna do you this way, back. I'm higher than that. I'm a kingdom citizen and I operate out of the kingdom principles that says, love my neighbor as I love myself. Bless those who curse you. You can do is not easy, but we can do it. I serve a God who loves me like this. You serve a God who loves you like this. He loves you like he loved you when you were a dirty, rotten scoundrel. But see, we want to love people when they're all cleaned up and good and performing, right? No, he says, I want you to love like I love you. I loved you when you were a mess. You got to love people when they're a mess, when they don't do you right. When they stand you up, when they talk about you, when they hurt you. You got to go above and beyond. You got to love like this. No matter what I do, he loves me. How I act. He loves me no matter where I go. He loves me when I'm bad, He loves me when I'm good, He loves me. And this. This is the clincher. We're all Christians, right? If we're Christians, this is what this. This is scary. The Bible says. And this is how the world will know you are who you really say you are. By how much you shout, by how much you shamalama ding dong. By how much you put in the offering. No, it's how you treat people. The Bible says, this is how the world will know you really are who you say you are. And have you got what you say you got. It's how you love one another. It's how you treat people. And some of the meanest, rudest people I know are the people in our circles. Impatient, mean, bitter, jealous, envious, proud, ain't never done nothing wrong, syndrome, been saved since birth. But you know what I found? The Bible is true. The Bible says, he who has been forgiven much. They got that love walk down. They got it down real good. He who has been forgiven much loves much. It's easy for me to love because I know who I am. Do you understand what I'm trying to say? I know I shouldn't be here. I know that God should be have skipped over me and picked somebody else. But I'm so grateful that he did. And I can't look down my nose at you because I'm so grateful for his grace. I'm so grateful for his mercy. He looked at me in all my mess and still loved me. He who has been forgiven much. I find all these pious people, I just really believe they got all this stuff on the inside. They hadn't surrendered, they hadn't been forgiven for. They just stuff it down and stuff it down. Oh, I'm so good. Oh, I'm so good. I hope they don't find out. He who has been forgiven much loves much. God help us love like you love. Lord, we just want meaningful relationships. We all want to be happy. We do. We all want to be successful in life. And we all want to have Good marriages and good friendships. But God, we just do it wrong. We do it wrong. We just neglect to do it the way you told us to do it. And for that, God, we repent. God, I repent tonight, Lord, for where I have lifted myself up and I have been in self preservation and I've thought about hope more than I've thought about the people in my life. God forgive me, Lord. I just pray that this message went deep into the heart of people tonight. And if it hits you right between the eyes, I pray that you just stand up right now and say, God, I surrender. I surrender. I get out of self preservation preservation mode. I get out of self preservation mode. God, help me to love. Help me to love people like you love me. God, help me to remember where you found me. Help me to remember what a mess I was. God, help me to remember what a mess I was so that I could turn around and love people like this. God, give us grace. Come on, the rest of us just stand up and reach. Just lift your hands up and say, God, give me grace. God, give me grace. Give me grace. Lord God, help me to be a good witness. Lord, help. When the people at my job see me, they don't secretly say, man, she's a hypocrite. Man, I'd never go to that church. She really ain't got what she says she's got. Lord, I pray that when they look at us, they see you. God help us. This is Bible 101 this ain't fangs and fur and revelation God, this is Bible 101 this is day one Christianity God, help us to walk the walk and talk the talk. Forgive us God, where we've messed up, where we have so fallen so short. Help us to always remember what you've done for us and where you found us. And God, help us to give the same grace and the same mercy to the people in our house, to the people on our row, to the people in our job. Help us God to be a walking billboard of the love of Jesus. Come on, put your hands together we gon get it if it kills us and I hope it kills us. I hope when he looks at us he don't see none of me and none of you. Whoo. I want to get it Lord Jesus, Jesus, tonight I pray you'd let this word go deep in our heart. Seal it, God, let it fall on good ground. Good ground. Let it produce a harvest in our life and let people all around us say within the days and weeks to come. Man, they're different. Wow, what's happened, man. You're different. And let it spur us on to good works. Let it spur us on to do more and to love more and to be more like Jesus. And everybody said, amen. Amen. Turn around to about four people and say, I'm going to love like Jesus. I'm going to love like Jesus. I will see you Sunday. I love you. God bless you, Sam.