Ron + Hope: Unfiltered - How To Move Your Life Forward

Foreign.

And Hope unfiltered. Real, raw, relevant. So glad that you guys are here. Ron is sipping his coffee.

I'm on my, like, third pot.

Yeah. And why we're on the East Coast.

We're.

We're taping on the east coast.

From the east coast. And I have jet lag.

Yeah. Because he got in late last night.

Late last night.

He woke up and he thought it was 5am when you got a wife.

Kissing all over your face about five in the morning and you just got in late last night. That is not.

I mean, you are really asleep. You in a dream.

So I just let her send me coffee. I just need lots of coffee.

Okay.

So this might be the Hope podcast today. I might sit over and. Amen. You really should go. Yeah.

I believe you're gonna be anointed.

I'm always anointed. I'm just tired. Just tired. I get tired.

Well, I'm tired.

I get tired sometimes. You've been moving?

Yes.

Tell everybody what we've been doing. We got a house.

We sold our house.

We had a house on the East Coast. Of course, you know, most of you know, we lived here almost 30 years the first time around, and we had a house, but it was like over an hour out in the middle of nowhere. We say out in the middle of nowhere, people. There's a lot of people don't understand that in the city.

It's kind.

I say it was what, 25, maybe 30 minutes to the gas station. Yeah, maybe. And so no instacart, the driving, no.

Ordering pizza, no deliveries, inconveniences. Yes.

There were none out there. It was a retirement community. The average age of that community, 73. Everybody that goes there's done. And me and Hope were driving back and forth every day.

We thought it was going to be very quiet and serene. We just know it. It was quiet and serene.

But after you got there at 10:00 at night. Yeah, it was quiet.

So we sold that house.

We sold it. And we're going to rental house while we build another one. And so Hope has been on the east coast doing the moving and there's nothing fun about that. And I've been holding things.

It's quite hellacious.

And it is. Ain't nothing fun about it.

Everything in my life.

Can I tell him what my daddy always used to say? My daddy used to always. When I only remember moving like three times, you know, as a kid. Yeah, as a kid. But I remember my daddy hated it with a passion. And one time, my daddy was not the kind for slang comments. You remember him? He just did. He said he was aggravated moving boxes one time he said if I was Satan, hell would be making people move for eternity. Right. He said as soon as they packed it up, I'd make them unpack. Unpack it again. I pack it. But. And it is nothing fun about it. And then me and you being split up and going back and forth. So we got. We're all here on the east coast. We're going to have a great week on the east coast. But I am feeling jet lag a little bit too.

But you know what?

I usually try to give me a day to recover when I travel, and I didn't do it this time. Got in late last night.

You know what? You look good.

Well, you can come over and sit in my lap. Sit on my lap.

Not that good.

Okay.

I'm tired. I didn't told you. I'm tired too.

I just give you a place to see it. I wasn't giving you.

I have a chair. Have a chair. Good.

What are we going to talk about? I told you in the. In the shower this morning, I felt like God was giving me some stuff. Guys, I want to talk to you about. About leadership. As I say. Oh, God, there's only 6 million podcasts. Only to. Not like that.

No.

Not the seven laws or leadership or the five dysfunctions of a team. Not that stuff. And all that stuff. Great stuff's good. I'm not bashing it. I've read. I've read and keep reading those books and watch those podcasts as well. But leadership, real leadership, things that me and Hope verifiably can look back on that has pushed our journey forward.

How to lead your own life.

Yeah.

Not. Not your business, not your company. Personal discipline, Personal leadership to lead your life in the trajectory that God's called you to go.

And we're talking about the next podcast into moments. Moments that, you know, thrust us forward. What were the defining moments in life? Because you don't have a defining moment many times. But, buddy, when you do have one, those decisions are critical at that time. And I just felt like this one and that one would be two. That would help people. And I mean, the best stuff me and Hope can give you is the real stuff. Not stuff that I learned in my head, but the things we have walked through and experienced. And we could tell you, this is what we did when this happened. That's the greatest information we have that we can give you. And so this is not your normal leadership talk. I really want Some of. There's a lot of people that are frustrated, Hope. I mean, let me start off with where we are. There's a lot of people that do not feel like they make significant impact with what they do. I always tell people, I don't care what you're doing. Leave your print on something. I don't care what you're doing. What did you do with that rental house you got in there? It looks just like Hope Carpenter built that house from the ground up. But even though it's a rental house, Hope Hope is going to make. She is going to leave Hope on it. You will know Hope has been here. That's what I mean by leaving you print. So I don't care. I told people, I don't care if it's carpet vacuum it. I don't care if it's a car wash it. Don't go through life and have made no difference.

Right.

That's a sad life to me. So I believe there are many people that feel insignificant. There's this ongoing search for purpose that frustrates me because there is no purpose without knowing the Holy Spirit, because he's the only one that knows your purpose. And then you have all these other things that play into your life's advancement. So I want to talk to the frustrated. I want to talk to the people who feel like you're right in the middle of the will of God. I also want to talk to people that feel like I am so far away from the will of God, I'm miserable, I'm stuck. People who feel like they're stuck and just talk about now men. Hope, don't rehearse these on purpose. These are not scripted. And we do it on purpose because this is where we want the podcast to be unique. These are unprepared items where we just come in straight out of our heart. Two or three things. I'm going to let you start it because you know me, I get so preachy. Just a couple of things right off the cup. These are things that I employed in my life, and they changed my life.

Yeah, well, for me, it was personal disciplines. It was personal disciplines and spiritual disciplines. And I believe for. This is not for business owners. This is not just for church leaders. This is not for managers. This is for Christians, for people in general. And until these personal disciplines have been adapted and adopted into your life, you're going to see your life just very stagnant. No growth, no joy. You know, worship. That's a personal discipline. Every single day in my life, I.

Worship, you know, The Instagram post that says, there's pain to working out, but there's pain to being weak. Choose your pain. There's pain to discipline. You chose your pain. I choose to be uncomfortable. Discipline in myself. Then all the other pains of being undisciplined, you know, So a lot of people like discipline. It's like.

Right.

But I'm going to tell you, I haven't ever seen anybody significant in anything that did not have disciplines in place.

Right? Absolutely.

I haven't.

Right. So for me, that was huge. And it was, it truly hurt because I was that creative free spirit who just liked to get up and, you know, what am I going to do today?

Let me make an observation. I don't think it was as much your skill set as it was your personality type. You were the most over the top personality I personally had ever met.

You just, I was all that in a bag of chips.

Right. And I mean, and I say that in a good way. I say that in a good way. Now you're saying some of that probably wasn't always authentic because of a lot of stuff you were covering up and your own hurts and stuff. But at the same time, there was no doubt that you came into a room and you had the ability to light up a room. But that same thing, that was a positive. I've always said your biggest strength is also your biggest weakness.

Yeah. So, you know, eventually, you know, you stay in the same cycles long enough, you stay going around the same mountain, you're like, wow, I got to do something different. I need to change something in my life. And for me, that's what it was. I knew that there were things and especially even in the last 10 years for me has really cranked, I mean, just cranked up hard. The last five years has become even more tight and more rigid with my disciplines. You know, there's just non negotiables for me every single day. And that is worship, that is reading. I'm going to read something. I'm going to learn something new every single day. For me, every single day, I'm going to worship, I'm going to read, I'm going to read the Bible and, and I'm going to learn something new every single time.

Okay, I'm going to interview now. You got guys out there, especially the creative types. I'm going to speak to you creatives in just a minute because we need you bad. But I'm going to tell you where your biggest strength is, your biggest weakness. Okay, you said, I'm going to, I'm going to. How did you get to that hurdle? Because how did you get over? Okay, these things don't come naturally to me. Okay, I'm going to do this because a lot of people are saying, because.

I wanted something better in my life, because like I said, I was. Yeah, I was tired of seeing the same. Same cycle. Like, you know, okay, now I'm 30. Here we are. Now I'm 40. Man. I've not progressed any. You know, John Maxwell says, you don't float upstream. No, you don't float upstream. You've got to do something. You've got to be intentional about change and about going higher in your life. So I said, man, I've got to start. And I didn't do it all in one day. I started one thing, then I started another thing. I read a book, and I'll get that book in a minute, but I read a book about spiritual disciplines about five years ago, and it. Although I always knew it, I've been in church my whole life, but that book really helped me to crank some things in gear. And I have seen my life totally shift and change.

I told you a couple of weeks ago, I said, your star is shining as bright as I've ever seen it. And I do believe it's not that your skills, the gifts and the call are without repentance. You had the gift the whole time. But there has to be a vehicle that has been created, and those vehicles are self disciplines that you put in place that carries you to that next place. Just being talented is not enough. Being highly skilled is not enough. How have you structured your day? I saw Elon Musk a quote a while back. He said, I work 365 days a year. He said, About 16 hours a day. And he said, and people still call me lucky.

Wow. Yeah.

It doesn't just happen, you know, he is the richest man in the world and right now just bought Twitter and sleeps on a couch. He sleeps on a couch in an office. And he had a $39 million house. And he sold it up there near where we lived. Just sold it. And he sleeps on his couch. And he said, I found out that owning things was a distraction.

Wow. Wow.

Do you see what I'm talking about? So when you see somebody that is highly successful, I promise you they're doing something.

Yeah.

Okay. Now you say people that inherited. Yeah. But if they don't do something, they lose it.

Yeah, they lose it.

They lose it. So somebody that even has inherited it and sustains it, they have disciplines in place. The fruit of the spirit is self control. The ability to tell yourself what you're going to do.

Yeah. You know what that means in the Greek?

What?

Control yourself.

Control yourself. I think you took that from somebody. Uh huh.

I know. Well, let's talk about a spiritual.

I think you.

It's not really a spiritual discipline, but it's a discipline. And that's one of our favorite sponsors. We love you so much, Noom. Noom. And we're talking about eating discipline. But can you tell I've lost weight?

What did I tell you this morning when nobody was around?

Yes.

What did I tell you?

You said, hope your tummy's looking so small.

It is.

And that has been another discipline for me. Just on purpose. I have a plan in my head.

Ate terrible. When she just. When for like life. It's not seasonal. It's consistent.

Yeah, I do cook.

I just had and I cook country where I keep my mouth.

So just. Yeah, just keep that mouth closed. Okay. And let the Lord do it.

Okay.

So Noom, listen.

But Sarah called Abraham Lord Ron.

Okay, Ron. Okay. Disciplines. You know how we just eat. Do you ever eat when you're bored.

By like your wife to call you Lord? Just one time. Love. Just that. Go ahead.

No, we talk about noon eating. Sometimes we just eat because we're bored, you know, or okay, we eat popcorn just because it's movie night. You don't have to have buttery popcorn just because you're watching a movie.

Right.

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You know, this is a big deal for me because I'm all about the mind. Yes, I'm all about the mind. I think a long time ago I brought this up. Me and you have a couple, two or three here there that we've known, but one friend in particular that was not, maybe not morbidly obese, but close, close to almost being immobilized by weight. And they got some surgeries and some other thing and lost a tremendous amount of weight. Came out of the hospital, gained it right all back. And I asked this person verbatim, why do you think you gained it back? He said, because I did not change my mind. So that is the whole noon thing. As a man thinketh in his heart, the Bible says, so is he. So the way you think about a thing defines your reality. Let me get back to the fruit of the spirit is self control. The fruit of the spirit, the fruit is a result of intimacy. The product of my intimacy with God will result in me being able to control my flesh instead of my flesh controlling me.

Okay, say it again.

Fruit is the off product or offspring of intimacy. If me and you're gonna be fruitful, there has to be intimacy that takes place. Okay? So my intimacy and walk with the Holy Spirit, the offspring of that is self control. Self control.

So people who do not have self.

Control need to build their relationship deeper with the Holy Spirit. It is what it is. It is what it is.

Did you hear it?

Because the Bible says that's a fruit of the spirit. The Bible says, by the spirit, you put to death the deeds of the flesh. That can only be done by a spirit man. That is very, very helpful.

A relationship with the Holy Spirit, it's.

The only way it can be done. So people that are saying, how do I get over the hurdle? You've got to Deepen your walk with God. And when you deepen your walk with God, you are empowered to take the desires of your flesh because the flesh never naturally leans toward discipline. The flesh. The Bible says where there is no vision, people perish. That word vision don't mean they perish. Don't mean they fall over dead, means they cast off restraint and run wild. Y so when you have no self control, the flesh wants a life with no restraint. Don't make me obey.

The flesh just wants to wile out.

He wants to wile out. Do whatever he wants to destroy you. The flesh is a great sabotager of potential in people's lives. So I just wanted to put that in there. Deepening your walk with the Holy Spirit is one thing that reigns in your flesh and allows you to be intentional. Now let me talk about one of mine. One of mine is the right voices. There's somewhat of a void in my life right now because I think what I want, I've become. There's a lot of people that seek me out for mentorship and wisdom and guidance. And I'm proud of that at this season in my life. And I want to do that. But I don't think there's ever a time where you don't want some type of mentorship flowing to you. And so that there's a little bit of a gap right there in my life when it comes to that right now. Not a pain or hurt, but just searching for what is that next voice. Because two of my major ones have gone on to be with the Lord.

Right.

And having said that, I got to speak to a generation.

I know you about to say something when you back up in your chair.

We situate yourself. We do not live in a generation that like submission. I'm on social media as much as anybody else don't like it. But you can't function relevantly this day and time without the usage of it. And when I see the way people live and the way people think, you know, it's nobody's going to run my life. Nobody's going to do you. I mean, my mama don't even talk to me like that. It is nothing but rebellion. And there will be no voice that I obey. Nothing could dangerous. God said in Psalm 23, Thy rod and thy staff comfort me, comfort me. The rod and the staff was when the sheep were together, if one of them would begin to leave the flock to wander away, they would tap one side, not whip them, tap them like.

Hey, come back over here.

And what it would do is cause the sheep to come back in line, get in line. When you have a voice that sees when you're pivoting a little bit and they can just tap things. There's safety in that. Now, Rod, my Steph, they comfort me.

Yeah.

And the voices that I've had in my life have not only been voices that just maybe helped me see my future, but have been voices who've seen me doing like this or seen me doing like this. And they're bringing me back with little subtle rebukes, reproof, other things. The Bible says that the word is good for rebuke. Rebuke. There's another word. The word is good for reproof and rebuke. It's good for all those things. Well, nobody wants to be rebuked. I mean, who wants that?

So I think it's done in love. Some of the greatest speak the truth in love.

Some of the greatest things. You know, what our oldest son, what Bishop Jakes did, I won't tell that story again. But that. That was very hard to listen to as a man. When he told me, you know, you've only let your son see your victories. You've not let him see your pain, and you are not real to him. I didn't want to hear that. I don't want to hear that when I have people that I've mentored. And a guy came in. You remember this time, Hope? This was a few years back. Guy, come in. I want you to mentor me. They drove all the way across three states. I have this meeting with me, and this guy's up walking around. He's talking so fast, you can't even get a word in. I mean, it was like used car salesman time. 100 on steroids. And I saw his wife sitting there, and he just going on. His wife just sitting in a chair and just kind of. And he's going and going. I mean, you can't even get a word in. And then finally he shuts up. And basically, he was trying to impress me with accomplishments and why I should be grateful he would want to be in my network. And so I said, well, number one, this is the first thing I would mentor you is the next time I see her, don't let your wife have that look on her face when she.

Hears your mouth blabbing.

Exactly right. And you know what? I never heard from that guy again.

Right.

Why? Because not willing to submit. That was the greatest thing he could have heard at that time. Because I could tell she was sick of him. She was sick. And his first ministry is to her. She looks miserable. While he's telling me everybody he's helped.

But he didn't hear anything you had to say?

No.

So we have to be willing to, you know, everything we're talking about is crucifying ourselves, you know, discipline in our flesh, being willing to submit ourself to somebody else, another voice, somebody who's been there, done that. So you see somebody in life doing something or living a certain way or having a great marriage, something that you want and desire, that you would be willing to submit yourself and listen and learn and change, that's just crucifying our flesh. And we don't like that. Nobody likes that. Jesus is. Didn't even want to go to the cross. He didn't even want to. So.

So he said, but he became obedient. He obeyed it.

He obeyed.

He obeyed it.

So to do what God wants us to do, it is going to be a crucifixion of our flesh. And we've got to embrace the crucifixion. I think that's so key.

Yeah. The thing that some of the greatest things I could tell some of the people watching right now is you need to embrace the voices that challenge and contradict you.

Yeah.

Embrace them, not be repelled by them. Because you're sending, basically, you're sending the message that you have nothing to say to me because I'm getting it all right. And I can promise you you're not getting it all right. And the greatest thing you can do is begin to embrace the words of a greater, of a greater than you. I let Dr. Miles Monroe. Let me give this. I don't think I've ever spoken this on the podcast. You remember back in the FBI investigations and all the class action lawsuits and 2007, 8, 9, terrible, terrible, terrible times. And just people trying to get the church and trying to get me in trouble. And we, you know, what do you call it? Of all of it? Cleared of everything. But I'm sitting there and I'm telling him one night, he's my voice. At that time, we're sitting out in that hallway and in the church, old sanctuary. Never forget it. Church is over me and him. And I'm. I'm broken, I'm tired, I'm weary, I'm broke from lawyers and paying for all. And. And he's sitting there the whole time I'm crying. I got tears running down my face. And I mean, I've been through a lot. And he just sits there and he just grins.

I was there.

I remember Were you in. Were you in the hallway? Just grins.

It's like one in the morning.

Yeah, I mean. And he's just grinning. He didn't share any sympathy with me. It seemed like he didn't. Man, I can't believe you've had to go through all these. And when I got finished, he looked at me, said, oh, Ron, Ron, you're in the beautiful place. You've been reduced all the way to him. I will never. That was 14 years ago. I'll never forget that. Why? Because that pain pushed me back to why I got into it in the first place. Jesus. So embracing the voices. Last thing I know, we only got about eight or ten minutes.

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Much time we got left. It's all right. I'm being unprofessional.

I'm probably about 10 minutes somewhere around. Yep, let's do it.

Okay. The last one I want to talk about because this will actually open up the next podcast. I want to talk about exposure. When I went to. When I went to college, I went. I went for basketball. I got saved. Radically saved. Actually radically handed in my. My basketball scholarship. Just went and met with the coach. Didn't want to play no more. Lost my desire to in one moment. And then changed my major. Went to Bible school when I was. When I was in college. Hope. My whole concept of God was a 200 member Pentecostal haunted church. That is all I knew about God. You know, tv, there were only three channels and you know, we might see Oral Roberts on Sunday morning. And he was a guy who.

Why are you acting so old?

He was a guy that ministered in a tent.

There were only three channels on TV and we had to walk seven in the snow with the rabbit ears.

I'm just trying to get my exposure thing there and. You're making fun of me.

No, I'm not. It does sound so old, you know.

So I did see or Roberts on tv. Something good is going to happen. Do you know that?

This very day.

And they would show him going across America in crusades with big tents and stuff. So that's all I knew. I can't. I can't underscore to people. I had never been out nowhere. I only remember my family taking two vacations. And that was a little house at a beach nobody went to in Florida that somebody owned. And they let us go. I just never saw any.

Had a small world.

Very small. Very small worldview.

Yeah.

And I started traveling with the singing group. You were the singer. I was able to play the drums enough to make the band. And then all of a sudden we went to as many non ph churches as we did ph. And all of a sudden I started finding similarities. I started finding out where God was and where God wasn't. And I started seeing where he was. There were consistent things that they had in common. I was observing and seeing all this. So by the time we Went to start our church after we graduated college and got married. I didn't want to start a ph church. I wanted to start an independent. Because although I loved my heritage, what I had seen and what you and I wanted to do and what we had in our hearts, I did not think could be done within that system.

Yeah, that system and their parameters.

So we went outside of it. Why? That was the first defining moment. I'm going to talk about defining moments in the next podcast. The first defining moment is to say, we want to do this, but there's no way we can do this here.

Right.

We have to go out here. That was a big decision at 20 and 21 years old.

Yeah.

That was a big decision to stand up against that, especially with my dad bleeding. Pentecostal holiness blood.

Yeah. Do you remember when we got off the bus at Carpenter's Home Church?

Carpenter's Home Church.

I was going to Florida.

So we go to a. The first church we go to In Florida is 10,111 seats. I remember the number rising and falling. Orchestra pit up there where we practiced. A room where we did our recording in that. The choir room. Like it's at 500, you know, I. Radio towers on top of the building. Retirement homes out to the side.

Hope neither one of us had ever seen anything like that.

Oh, blown away. Here's what I said when I got off the bus. I stood in the parking lot and I said, somebody has lied to me. Nobody told me God could do that. I cannot underscore for you guys the impact just seeing someone doing something on a different level has had to me.

Get out of your circle. Get out of your camp.

Let's talk about this. This is going to hit people because this don't seem spiritual. Being on the west coast in the Bay Area, the richest zip code in America, has totally and completely changed my concepts of money.

Yeah, it does, because they. They talk about money and they're not offended about money than people that we were used to talking about.

They're not jealous.

Nope.

They don't care what you drive.

No.

They don't care where you live. And I come from a culture where everybody cared about it. I mean, if you wore a pair of new slippers in.

Oh, they talking about.

Yeah. I mean, where'd you get them? Well, I bet them cost a lot. And so we go out to the Bay Area where people. Money flows like milk and honey out there. You know, I needed to restructure the debt on the property. $10 million debt. We put the word out you know, I come from a culture where you go two or three years trying to get a bank, a loan to partner with you. I had people standing in line.

Yeah. And writing checks for 10 million.

And then when they gave us $10 million loan, the one that partnered with us looked at me and said, we usually don't do loans this small anymore.

It's exposure. It changes everything.

And all of a sudden, I'm sitting there going, oh, man.

It raises your faith.

There is a world bigger than my world that is out here. And then, you know, Jesus said, when you see the kingdom, you can enter it. And the fact is, there's a lot of worldly things that are operating in kingdom principles, although they do not attribute them to the kingdom. But you see, you can look at it and, okay, I can see what they're doing here. This kingdom key. This kingdom key. They're doing things that Jesus taught, but do not attribute those and describe them to Jesus. And so you get out there, and all of a sudden, my whole framework for money and my whole framework for faith. And then what happened? Everything started rising.

Yeah. It's like the prayer of Jabez. Enlarge my tent, enlarge my territory. Yes. Stretch out those tents. Enlarge my territory. But you don't know that you can do that until you see. See it. Until you see that it's possible and it stretches your faith.

So here's the thing. Albert Einstein said this. He said, the problems that are created on one level cannot be solved on that same level. Let me say that again. The problems that are created on a level cannot be solved on that level.

You've got to have a greater level. See?

So to fix the problems here, I'm going to have to go here, higher, higher. I'm going to have to look, then.

Come back, fix the problem and elevate.

And elevate it and elevate.

It wasn't that good.

So what I would just encourage some people to do is. Get out of your comfort zone. Yeah, get out of your comfort zone.

Don't be intimidated.

The night, okay, I was in a church where they sang hymns. And then we went to Emanuel and they sang hymns and courses. So we've arrived. Yeah, we sing courses. Okay.

My senior year and do a flag.

So my senior year, traveling with the Emanuel Singers, we go to my grandmother's church in Rocky Mountain, North Carolina. Sit down in a chair. I turn on the tv. Rod Parsley, Clint Brown, World Harvest.

You saw something different.

And I saw five people that looked like they were out of their mind. The only thing I remember is the building looked like popcorn. I started weeping. I had never seen that before. So immediately when I went and started Redemption, what did I try to produce? That. And redemption has always been known for its atmosphere. Exposure.

Exposure. So let's recap. Discipline. Anywhere without disciplines, spiritual disciplines, personal disciplines, voices in your life. You've got to have somebody, a voice, a mentor, somebody who will allow you to be called higher. That you're like, okay, hurt me, offend me, point out my weaknesses, and I will not buck you. I will not make excuses. I will use it to shift and change and grow to become better. And then exposure. Listen, your life can change. Your life can change. You do not have to be living life on the same level year after year. It's not even God's will. The Bible says it is my will that you prosper and that you be in health to the same degree that your soulish man prospers. That's your mind, your will, your emotions, your intellect. You've got to keep growing. You got to keep stretching because that's God's will for you. Listen, God wants you to live a life better than you live in today. And you can do it. I hope we have helped you today here at Ron and Hope. Unfiltered, real, raw, relevant. We love you so much. And listen, we got a marriage conference right around the corner. You don't want to miss our marriage conference. Go to the website. You'll see it below. So many things. We love you so much. We'll see you next time.